121: The Dark History of Valentine's Day: Hate Mail, Orgies, and Animal Sacrifice??
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I love so I can make sure my wardrobe stays fresh and I don't blow my budget. They've got cashmere sweaters from $50, pants for every occasion, washable silk tops. And my favorite part, all Quince items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. By partnering directly with top factories, Quince cuts out the cost of the middleman

and passes the savings on to us. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I recently got this 100% European linen short sleeve shirt. Ooh, I love linen. And you know, it was so comfortable, so cute. I can finally retire my old ratty tank top.

RIP. Make switching seasons a breeze with Quince's high quality closet essentials. Go to quince.com slash dark history for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash dark history to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash dark history.

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, while you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance.

It's easy and you can save money by doing it from your phone. Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner and more.

So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24-7, 365 days a year, so you're protected no matter what. Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $744 by new customer survey who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations.

- Do you ever get bored and you start to do the math surrounding your birthday? So like for me, for example, I was born at the end of November. And I was like, "Hmm, you know, if I subtract like nine months from that, you know, like 11, 10, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, February,

nine months before my birthday, Valentine's Day. And I was like putting it together and I was like, that means my parents made me on a day when like,

sexual relations is kind of expected, you know? I was like, is that sad? I feel like that's sad. It's kind of beautiful, but it's kind of sad, right? Maybe because of that, or maybe because of all the crazy social pressure, personally, Valentine's Day is not my favorite. Okay, I know that. I know I'm not alone in that. Or maybe you love Valentine's Day. I don't know. If you want to do like anything, right? You got to book a reservation like a year in advance. You got to buy flowers, a gift, and for what?

For what, you know? I have not met one person who wants to do any of this. No one does. And if anything, it seems like everyone just complains about Valentine's Day. And we all pretty much agree that it's just some kind of sham hallmark holiday. I think we can all agree if you love someone, I mean truly love them, then you show it all year round, right? Not just on one day a year. So it got me thinking.

Why does love get its own holiday? Is there a reason behind all this or is it truly just like a commercialized holiday? I don't know. I want to know. I had to find out if Valentine's Day really is just a play to get money or if there's really something with some substance behind it. Where did it all come from? Who invented that chalky, that chalky

tasting candy that I love so much. The hearts, come on, you know, you hate those hearts. Give them to me. They're my favorite. I love them. And you'll never guess what I discovered. Welcome to the dark history of Valentine's Day.

Hi friends, I hope you're having a wonderful day today. My name is Bailey Sarian and I'd like to welcome you to my podcast, Dark History. Hi! Here, we believe history does not have to be boring. I mean, yes, it might be tragic. Sometimes it's happy. Sometimes it's like awful. But either way, it's our Dark History. So all you have to do is sit back, relax, and just let me tell you about that hot, juicy history goss. Because it's juicy.

Okay, Valentine's Day. First of all, we have Paul here, if you're watching on YouTube. Paul over here is dressed as a pope. As you can imagine, if you lived back then, I would probably listen to this pope because these popes look scary as shit, right? This is creepy. He looks creepy as hell. No offense. Creepy. And then we got Joan here. She's dressed up as a Valentine.

I love that you guys come with a theme, huh? So Valentine's Day is named after a saint, Saint Valentine. But some historians believe that Valentine's Day actually has its roots in an ancient Roman holiday called Lupercalia.

Now wait till you hear about this. Now when I heard of Lupercalia, I was like, kind of sounds like it has to do with like a leprechaun or something, right? It's giving me St. Patrick's Day. But Lupercalia wasn't, or isn't, a cute little luck of the Irish moment. And it wasn't about giving people gifts or telling your crush that you like them. Instead, it was raw.

Now listen, Lupercalia started because Rome was allegedly founded by these two twin brothers named Romulus and Remus. So legend has it that Romulus and Remus were orphan babies and they were found in a wicker basket by a wolf. This is how the story goes. Totally normal. Wolf finds babies. The story goes that the she-wolf saved their lives by letting them suckle on her teats.

You know? The brothers are eventually taken in by a shepherd and they go on to create the city of Rome. But one tiny detail that was kind of a problem for Rome was that they had no pussy. They had no females. They had no women. Literally, no matter how hard they tried, these brothers, they could not get enough women to come and live in Rome. It was just one big sausage party and they want to reproduce, right? So...

What are they gonna do? Which got me thinking like side note, if you were a chick at this time, it would be great. You'd have so many options, right? It's just all men and just you. You'd be like, I'll take Brutus, Atticus, Cromulus, all my men. And you'd have them all to yourself because there was no competition. Bulls.

Anyhow, so Romulus has a little light bulb moment. There's this town nearby where the Sabine people live. So he decides to invite all of them over for a party he's throwing. He's like, guys, come over. We're going to have a party and celebrate. Yay. And in the middle of this party, Romulus has his men kidnap all of the Sabine women. Yeah, kidnaps them, snatches them up, gathers them.

keeps them forever. Then he forces them to become Roman citizens, apparently by like partnering them all up with single Roman men. There are different interpretations of this event. Some people say like it was more of a mass gang rape, while others say it was a mass abduction enforced citizenship moment. Either way, it was forced. But to Romulus, I mean, this was gonna like solve their problem. You know, they were gonna fix Rome's ratio problem.

So to celebrate this every year, they would throw this big ass fertility party because they needed to procreate. So they end up naming it Lupercalia because Luper means wolf in Latin. So it's like a shout out to their mom with the teat. Great. And then also the fertility god, their name was Lupercus.

So if you like think about it and like blend it all together, Lupercalia, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Okay. You get it. So Lupercalia is like one of the most ancient Roman festivals and it started all the way in sixth century BC. And this would happen every single year on February 15th. So

So right away, you may be seeing some of the similarities between this and Valentine's Day. So to kick off Lupercalia, they would always start in a cave and perform an animal sacrifice. I know, just like my own Valentine's Day party. You know that one good tank top that you wear like all year round? I mean, it fits you just right. So you wear all the...

time, but maybe now it's getting a little old. Shifting my wardrobe from summer to fall is always a challenge. Luckily, Quince offers timeless and high quality items that I love so I can make sure my wardrobe stays fresh and I don't blow my budget. They've got cashmere sweaters from $50, pants for every occasion, washable silk tops, and my favorite part, all Quince items are priced $50 to

80% less than similar brands. By partnering directly with top factories, Quince cuts out the cost of the middleman and passes the savings on to us. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I recently got this 100% European linen short sleeve shirt. Ooh!

I love linen and you know, it was so comfortable, so cute. I can finally retire my old ratty tank top.

R.I.P. Make switching seasons a breeze with Quince's high quality closet essentials. Go to quince.com slash dark history for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash dark history to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash dark history.

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, while you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance.

It's easy and you can save money by doing it from your phone. Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner and more.

So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24-7, 365 days a year, so you're protected no matter what. Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $744 by new customer survey who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations.

All the important Romans would gather in this cave, which was the cave where Romulus and Remus were said to have been nursed by their wolf mommy. So they all gather in this cave. They're like getting animals, performing sacrifices. They would use dogs and goats. I don't know. I guess apparently these were known for being like the horniest animals, dogs and goats. And that was the energy they wanted to bring to the party. Horniness.

They didn't know about rabbits yet because I think we can all agree that's probably the most horniest animal out there, but that's okay. Dogs and goats. So this is where things start to get a little freaky, okay? When the priest would perform these sacrifices,

The priest, they would get completely naked, okay? They would take their sacrificial knife, slit the animal's throat open, slice them open, drain the animal blood, like just drain out the blood and then smear the blood all over themselves, on their foreheads and just...

Well, it's like very Carrie almost. And all of this was to please the fertility god, Lupercus. Then the blood would be removed with a bunch of wool and the wool had been soaked in milk. I know, super random, but it was also like red and white, milk and blood. And it was like, is that where we get the classic Valentine colors from?

dark shit, I don't know. But at this point in the ceremony, laughter was apparently highly encouraged. So the priests were supposed to laugh as the blood was like being removed from their faces. Um,

Okay, you know, I was like, all right, do you boo. Maybe it was because it was just so awkward. Like, oh, hey father, you've got a little goat blood on your face. You're so silly. Maybe, I don't know, fake. Have you ever like fake laughed, but then after fake laughing for about a minute, you start to laugh for reals? I think that's what they're doing, but I don't know why.

Anyhow, after the sacrifice, the Romans would have a big feast. But the fun, it wasn't over because after the feasting was done, the men would run through the town naked, carrying goat skin thongs made out of the leftover skin from the sacrificed goats. Yes, goatskin.

goat skin thongs. I know, I wonder what that felt like. Apparently on their way through the town, they would whoop any woman they saw with these goat thongs, which were called februa. So kind of like February. I know, I don't know. They take these thongs and like just whip these women. It's like, what the f- I don't get it, but that's what they did.

I guess it was consensual, allegedly. The women were actually said to love this goat thong whipping. It was like their favorite thing ever. They were like, "Whip me, ah!" The women would even like come out of their house specifically to get whipped by one of these goat thongs because not only was it good luck, but it also was said to make you more fertile.

I love the logic, right? It makes sense, but it doesn't. Some say that all of the women would put their name into like a jar and then the men would take turns one by one. They would reach their hand into the jar and like pull out a name. They're like, I got Deb. Deb. Well, guess what? That meant that this man and woman were now a couple for the rest of the fertility festival. So they...

I'm assuming they had to have sex, right? That was the purpose, but I'm assuming. Now this is a sweet part. Apparently there were like couples who stayed together for a whole year until like the next Lupercalia festival. Even some of them got married. Cute! Lupercalia expanded and was also celebrated in other Italian towns, but in the year 494 AD,

Everything changed. So a pope came in, changed everything. It was the Pope Galatius, and he officially banned Lupercalia forever. I'm jealous or something. The thing was, like, people loved Lupercalia. It was like something to look forward to.

But it's believed that the church couldn't just like get rid of it all in one swoop, right? One theory is that instead of cutting it entirely, the Pope decided to Christianize the holiday, do a little rebrand. And according to urban legend, Pope Galatius declares that Lupercalia would be replaced by a Christian festival that would be all about purity and virginity.

I know, it was like a 180, total opposite of Lupercalia. I was like, okay. So St. Valentine's Day happened basically around the same time on February 14th. So I'm guessing that the Pope was like, you know, that works and we'll name it after Valentine. So they merged the two together, a little rebrand, but again, they're making it more Christian.

So no more sex and whipping people with like thongs. So thankfully, despite like the Pope getting his panties in a twist and like trying to get rid of Lupercalia, the spirit of the holiday stayed pretty horny and stayed strong. So you're probably asking yourself, well, how the hell did we go from like bloody naked animal sacrifice and goat thongs to...

Roses are red, violets are blue, will you kiss me? 'Cause I'm like in you, you know? Because years and years after Lupercalia became Valentine's Day, it still wasn't necessarily about romance like it is now. Well, I figured it out. So if you're one of those people who hates Valentine's Day, I have a name for you, the man to blame, okay? His name, Geoffrey Chaucer.

Now, Geoffrey is best known for writing a long-ass book of short stories called the Canterbury Tales. Do you remember? Do you remember the tales? It was in like the 1300s he wrote this long-ass book. Anyways, he was the first writer to associate the idea of romantic love with Saint Valentine. This is the first time it's happening, baby. Now, it happened in a poem called Parliament of Fells, which is actually kind of funny.

Let me tell you why it's funny. It's actually about an aristocratic lady, Eagle, who can't choose between three potential suitors because they each have different issues. Relatable. So the first suitor is also high class, but more in love with the idea of love than her.

So it's like, okay. The second suitor was like a little lower class and had a total chip on his shoulder about it. And then the third suitor was a clout chaser and was only interested in this lady eagle because other birds were interested in her. And he wanted to be the one, you know? So in this poem, Jeffrey wrote, for this was on St. Valentine's Day, when every bird cometh there to choose his mate.

Apparently back then, English birds paired off in February for mating. So like people started to associate Valentine's Day with mating season, just like the birds. You know, it was their version of cuffing season.

At the end of the story, the Lady Eagle chooses none of them. She says she wants a year to decide and goes off on her own instead. She had her own live, laugh, love adventure or something. So thanks to Chaucer, by the end of the Middle Ages, Valentine's Day had become associated with a day of expressing your feelings and hopefully attracting a mate of some kind.

And back then, people started calling their loved ones "Valentines." Oh shit, it's happening, right? Like, Valentine's is here, it's coming! Valentine's Day had a huge resurgence in the Victorian period. Young women started using the holiday as an excuse to do some witchy shit.

Turning to, quote, divination, meaning it was like popular for girls to do supernatural rituals the night before Valentine's Day, all in the hopes of like locking down their Valentine as their future husband. So common practices included, quote, venturing into the churchyard at midnight to seek an omen or placing hemp seed or bay leaves under a pillow to induce dreams or premonitions of their betrothed.

I was like, okay, what the hell does that mean? So like back then, instead of Galentine's Day, we would be meeting up instead like at midnight doing full like moon rituals in the churchyard and then like sneaking shit under like your man's pillow in hopes to make him fall in love with you. They would do all this in hopes that the man would like

These girls were not leaving Valentine's Day without a relationship, okay? They were determined. They were like, "Girls, it's Valentine's Day next week. Gwendolyn, I need you on herb duty. We're meeting outside the church at 1:00 AM, okay? I cannot handle another situation ship this year, Sabrina." Honestly, I love this version of Valentine's Day, you know? Witchy shit sounds so fun.

Probably thanks to all of these spells that like these girls are doing, the horniness kicks back up in the Victorian era. In addition to sending letters or poems, people, especially like wealthy people, start to use it as an opportunity to send big gifts. Like if you were royal and could afford it. For example, in 1667, the Duke of York gave his Valentine a jewel that costs 800 pounds.

I know, I was like, oh my God, that's so heavy. In his diary, a husband wrote, quote, "This evening, my wife did with great pleasure show me her stock of jewels increased by my Valentine's gift this year. A turkey stone set with diamonds." End quote. I know, I was like, what's a turkey stone ring set with diamonds? I wanna know, gobble, gobble. Like, I want one.

I still don't know what it is. Anyhow, so like this starts to trickle down to the everyday people by the 16th and the 17th century. But the average person, like they couldn't afford to buy like their girlfriend a freaking ruby encrusted ring for Valentine's Day. So drawing for lots becomes a popular thing.

What is that you ask? Well, let me tell you. Drawing for lots just means drawing at random. So kind of like a secret Santa approach to Valentine's Day. Again, everyone's name would go in a jar and whoever you got, that was your Valentine. And it's kind of nice though because like everyone gets a Valentine. Like there was no one left.

behind or left out. The men who are more creative would give something called a puzzle purse. Now this was like kind of hard to explain, but it's pretty much like a puzzle that comes apart and like tells you your fortune or something. So the puzzle purse, it's kind of like you're playing mash. You would ask it a question like, am I going to get married or whatever? And then the puzzle purse would tell you like, yeah, you're going to get married. You have three husbands, 17 children, 24 dogs, and you're going to live in a shack.

These puzzle purses, they would have been folded into like nine squares and each square would have a little drawing and like a sweet note on the inside of it. For me? Puzzle purse for me? What does it say? I want to bone you. Paul, I didn't know you saw me like that. Meet me in the back later.

Back then, wives, girlfriends, lovers, and crushes would be gifted with something like a little cheeky. Like if you had a crush on someone or if you were a king and your mistress was in like the same room as your wife and you know you want to send like a little secret message, what you would do is you would send over a pair of love gloves.

I know, I know. I was like, "What's a love glove?" 'Cause I'm thinking a condom. Like, no glove, no love. But it's not that. It was actual gloves. I guess like noblemen, they would order these custom embroidered gloves and during crowded parties, they would have their butler deliver these gloves to women that they wanted to impress. So then I guess the guy would just watch from across the room

and just like nervously kind of like wait to see what her response was gonna be. This is like so extra, right? Like embroidered gloves, okay, but this is what they were doing. So like if the woman would twirl the glove around her finger, that would signal that she knew she was being watched and she liked it. She was fingering that glove. If she put the gloves on,

and like gave you a little like, like a little wink, like, "Uh." You know, basically it meant that she was like down to like, you know, do stuff. Then if she took one look at the gloves and

you know, put them away. That was essentially her telling the man like, "No." Wild, huh? All with a glove. Even though the everyday person didn't have cash to burn like the royals in the Victorian era, there was one gift everyone wanted to give. And it wasn't the gloves. So a gift that everyone wanted to give was flowers.

Apparently the king of Sweden took a trip to Persia. I know, no biggie. He was like, "I'm just going to Persia real quick, baby." And when he was there, he learned that flowers, they weren't just like another pretty thing to look at. No, they were actually very meaningful. Now in Persia, like a red rose, it wasn't just another basic flower you could pluck from the ground. According to Persian practice, the rose was like a symbol of deep love and affection.

Beautiful, right? Now this is something that dates back all the way to ancient Greek times, but it was new to the King of Sweden. So he took this tradition back to Europe and you know, we all know like what happens when a royal starts doing something. Everyone wants to copy them and do it too.

So yeah, that's exactly what happened. Now the everyday person would gift roses as a sign of love, thanks to the Persians. I mean, flowers are nice and all, but look, if you're like me, the most important thing Valentine's Day can offer is dick, you know? But if you can't get that dick, the next best thing is chocolate.

There are so many other sweet things out there though, you know, and it was like, it made me think like, well, again, Valentine's Day equals chocolate. Where does that come from? There's a story for everything, I tell ya. Turns out chocolate has been considered special since way back in the Aztec times. The Aztecs, they fascinate me, okay? But with them, it was not like the super sweet chocolate you and I know.

It was just the cacao beans. Aztecs considered cacao sacred and they would use it in ritual offerings to gods during funerals and even like during celebrations. The Aztecs even invented their own hot chocolate using these cacao beans.

The Aztecs also believed that chocolate was an aphrodisiac because of the rush of energy that they would get from drinking it. Because cacao beans have, they have some caffeine in them. So, I mean, it did happen. Now, when the Europeans first tried some of this Aztec hot chocolate, they licked their cacao stained lips and were like, we got to take some of this shit home.

So they brought the delicacy back home with them to Spain and pretty soon the cacao craze had spread all across Europe. But like most things back then, it really was not like mass produced or available to everyone, you know? It was mainly for the wealthy, the upper crusts of society. And one of these upper crusts was a man named Giacomo Casanova.

I know, what a great porn name, right? Apparently, Giacomo is like the OG Casanova and was known for a very long time as the most famous lover in the world. In the 1700s, Giacomo published stories about his very juicy life.

He was an adventurer, a gambler, a lawyer. I mean, he did it all. But the real reason people were reading Giacomo's stories was because of all of his scandalous sexual adventures. He was kind of like the Leonardo DiCaprio of his time. People were interested. Like, what 20-year-old does he have this time, you know? Now, this guy was writing about having a

fairs, having threesomes, secret flings. He was spilling it all. He was a scandalous person that people loved keeping up with. It was like a Victorian page six. So Giacomo, he wrote this autobiography called "Story of My Life."

LOL. I don't know. What a great title, right? And the book just like blew up all over the world because his autobiography was a glimpse into the unknown customs of European social life. Like people wanted to know. Plus they wanted to hear about all of his sexual experiences. After writing about all these sexual adventures, he also became one of the world's most famous lovers.

In that same autobiography, Giacomo also revealed the potion to keep the juices flowing. Sounds gross, I know. He called it the elixir of love. And you're probably wondering at home, like, well, what is that elixir, Bailey? Two Vicodins and a dry martini?

It was chocolate. So for decades, rich people drank hot chocolate like it was coffee. And once Canberry invented the heart-shaped box of chocolates, the middle class was able to have access to this sweet treat as well. It kind of evolved from aphrodisiac to just a sweet gesture to show someone that you love them, like giving them chocolate, you know? Or maybe just to set the expectations of the night. Jacquemus.

So for a while, like Valentine's Day gifts were very symbolic. Like everything had a meaning to it. But then things get very literal when a pharmacist... - You know that one good tank top that you wear like all year round? I mean, it fits you just right. So you wear it all the time. But maybe now it's getting a little old.

Shifting my wardrobe from summer to fall is always a challenge. Luckily, Quince offers timeless and high quality items that I love so I can make sure my wardrobe stays fresh and I don't blow my budget. They've got cashmere sweaters from $50, pants for every occasion, washable silk tops, and my favorite part,

All Quince items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. By partnering directly with top factories, Quince cuts out the cost of the middleman and passes the savings on to us. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices

and premium fabrics and finishes. I recently got this 100% European linen short sleeve shirt. Ooh, I love linen and you know, it was so comfortable, so cute. I can finally retire my old ratty tank top.

R.I.P. Make switching seasons a breeze with Quince's high quality closet essentials. Go to quince.com slash dark history for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash dark history to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash dark history.

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, while you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance.

It's easy and you can save money by doing it from your phone. Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner and more.

So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24-7, 365 days a year, so you're protected no matter what. Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive.

Let's get back to today's story. So this pharmacist starts his own little tasty Valentine's Day tradition that we still practice.

Today, over in Boston, a pharmacist named Oliver Chase was trying to figure out a way to make some money in the medical industry. During the Victorian era, there were a lot of medicines being developed and most were very expensive and really inconvenient to even get. One of these medicines was throat logen... logenger...

Throat lozenges, cough drops, cough drops. I can't say lozenges, whatever. But that was one of those medicines, okay? And Oliver invents a machine that makes these cough drops faster, better tasting, and even more accessible to the everyday person. Lozenges, lozenges.

Me personally, I've never been a cough drop girl, but I know there's a lot of people out there who like to suck on a cough drop, like whatever. To me, it's like, isn't that just candy? It doesn't matter. So Oliver must have had like a very similar thought that it's just candy because he takes one look at these little cough drops and he thinks...

"Why the hell am I in the medicine business? I should be making candy." He knew people were willing to spend big bucks on holidays, especially Valentine's Day. So he created the New England Confectionery Company or Neko. Shout out to Neko. I fricking love your powdery candy. It's one of my faves. Not sponsored. And anywho, so he immediately comes out with a hit product called Neko Wafers. Now, if you've never seen them,

don't get them. They look like a roll of Tums. And if I'm being honest, they also work just like Tums. I love them. But a few years later, Oliver's brother, his name is Daniel, he has the idea to print sentimental messages on these candies. I know, it was kind of smart. And just like that, they invented conversation hearts. Ah, my favorite.

But these neko candies weren't like the tiny heart shapes that say like, "Way to go! Love you! BFF!" No, they were awkwardly long. Okay? They said too much. Like on these little tiny treats, it'd be like, "Married in white, you have chosen the right!"

on a little... What? Okay. There was also another saying was like, "How long shall I have to wait? Please be considerate." On this tiny ass candy. Okay. I don't know how they fit it all on there, but they did. They're like, "Hey, meet me outside at 12:00 PM near the bush in the backyard. I hope to see you there. Make sure to wear that cute dress. I love you."

Fucking paragraphs. Anyways, when people saw these, they loved them. There were some in America who were like really into this treat, but they were a popular product to export overseas. They were into it. So now we've got the roster of Valentine's Day gifts. We've got the jewelry, the chocolate, the roses, the conversation hearts.

What are we missing, you know? The Victorian era, maximalism was like giving. Like most of these traditions are alive and well today, but there is one tradition I came across that seems to have died in the Victorian era. And like after I was reading about it, I was like, bring it back, bring it back, you know? Anyways, it's something called a vinegar valentine. Wait till you hear about this.

Back in the mid-1800s, if you got a Valentine from like a smelly stalker or you wanted to send a message to someone that maybe you just did not like, you had a few options. You could talk shit about them with your girlfriends like most of us do. You could run away and like never come back again or you could send a message back.

So let's say you hate someone and you want to let them know. What you're going to do is you would walk your ass to the store and buy what's called a vinegar Valentine. Now, this essentially was a postcard with a poetic and devastating rejection letter on it. It's beautiful.

Then it was delivered to the person anonymously. And like when it was delivered, the person receiving it would have to pay whatever it cost to accept this mysterious card. So it's kind of like a double whammy. They had to pay to get dissed. It's great. Okay, so just imagine being a man going about your business and you get something handed to you anonymously.

You're like, what? Am I being served? I'm gone. No, you're not being served. Instead, you were just handed a vinegar valentine. You'd have to pay the postage and then you force yourself to open it knowing you were about to get read for filth. So here's an example of what like this vinegar valentine would say.

Open it up, it'd be like, "I'm not attracted by your glitter, for well I know how very bitter my life would be if I should take before my spouse a rattlesnake. Oh no, I'd not accept the ring, or evermore it would prove a sting."

Sick burn. Very poetic. On the front, there would be like a caricature, like a picture of a snake in a top hat. And it would just be like, you fucking suck. Okay? And like, don't talk to me. Devastating. I mean, talk about a rejection letter. How do you recover from that, Brad? But listen, like people back then, they took these very seriously. Like this was like the...

the meanest thing you could ever do. If you got one of these, it's just like devastating. There was a report about a man who shot his estranged wife after she sent him a vinegar Valentine. I'm not laughing at that. It's just like, you know, a little extreme. They could have talked it out maybe. But there was also reports of like a man who took his own life because of how devastated he was.

Whoops, you know. Honestly though, just to like be devil's advocate for a minute, it's kind of polite. You know, if I could send one of these cards, I would. Because at least you're letting them know that you're not interested. I mean, I can't tell them face to face. Let the card do it for me.

Hello? Also, Vinegar Valentines weren't just for women to respond to men they weren't interested in. I mean, it could be sent to anyone who wronged you around Valentine's Day. For example, let's say you're working at a department store and this lady who came up to you is a total bitch. Well, guess what?

He'd send her a vinegar valentine that said, "As you wait upon the women with disgust upon your face, the way you snap and bark at them, one would think you own the place." It doesn't sound that bad right now, like when I say it like that, but that was a sick burn, okay? And then there'd be like this super unflattering picture of like a bitchy lady on the front. Ugh!

If you got one of these, you just go hide in a closet somewhere. It was humiliating for them. I mean, can you imagine if you received one and got called out? When I learned about the Vinegar Valentine, I was like, this is incredible and we should definitely bring it back. At least I'll be bringing it back. I'm going to make my own cards and just mail them. I'll let you know how it goes.

Anyhow, so Valentine's Day so far has been a beautiful little spectacle across the seas. It started with kidnapping women and forcing them to become Roman citizens. Beauty and grace. Now people are sending cute poems and spicy rejection letters. Roses are the go-to symbol of deep love. Chocolate is essentially Viagra.

Valentine's Day is just everything. It's clear that Valentine's Day in Europe had really come into its own whole thing. Here's the thing, even though those Necco candy wafers with the cute words on them were invented in Boston, America originally had no love for Valentine's Day. They were like, "We're good, we don't need that, we're busy." Cranky-ass Uncle Sam was like, "You can keep your roses because we don't with you, St. Valentine."

That is, until Uncle Sam realized he could make a lot of money if he maybe leaned in a little bit to this Valentine thing. In the early 1800s, Valentine's Day was still looked at as an English holiday, and America wasn't really interested in doing what the Brits were doing. That is, until America decided, hey, we're missing out on love and, honestly,

money, right? So we need to get into this Valentine's Day thing or we're, we need the money. So to set the stage, you need to know that a huge shift happened for Valentine's in America from the 1840s to the 1860s. And first of all,

a whole lot of people felt like Americans were becoming too stuffy. I guess we were too focused on practical things and common sense that it really didn't leave any room for like romance and whimsy. The Philadelphia Public Ledger, which was like a daily newspaper, they said in 1845 that

we all calculate too much. That the people needed like more soul play and less head work. And honestly, I mean, that's still true today. I love the idea of soul play.

We need more of it. Anyway, they were essentially saying that we are human beings, not robots, and there needs to be a little bit more fun, excitement, and enchantment in our lives. And I mean, yeah, I think we can all agree. So at the same time, the business of Valentine's Day was booming over in London. And in 1820, printers and booksellers were putting out about 200,000 Valentines a year over the next four

40 years, that number skyrocketed to about 800,000. And as time passes, Americans are forgetting about that whole like, "Hey, fuck you and your stupid tea," you know, revolution thing.

And they were kind of developing a nostalgia for British traditions. So people in New York, Philadelphia and Boston are starting to reignite the flame of St. Valentine in America. They're like, "Hey, it's fashionable in London, so we should start doing it here too."

People started sending Valentine's greetings like poems, booklets, and cards, but they were all being imported from London. The number of Valentines sent through the New York mail system doubled from 1843 to 1847. Doubled. Oh, I know. Now some printers in New York, they had a light bulb moment and they were like, "Hey, we can save a buttload of money by switching to GEICO."

I'm just kidding. I got dad jokes for you. But they realized they could eliminate shipping costs if they just, I don't know. You know that one good tank top that you wear like all year round? I mean, it fits you just right. So you wear it all the time. But maybe now it's getting a little old. Shifting my wardrobe from summer to fall is always a challenge. Luckily, Quince offers timeless and high quality items that I love.

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This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, while you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance.

It's easy and you can save money by doing it from your phone. Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner, and more. So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24, 7, 365 days a year so you're protected no matter what.

Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $744 by new customer survey who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations. Now let's get back to today's story. The first Valentine published in America. It was actually stolen from a British Valentine.

Go America! You steal everything! Woo! They called it the New Quizzical Valentine Rider. Classic America. So a whole lot of shops were selling British valentines and these cheap American knockoffs. But by 1848, there was a shift that was happening. At least 11 American businesses, like book and stationery stores, had begun to produce their own valentines.

valentines. Now this is like the point where the word valentine itself goes through a major revolution. Up until now the word valentine stood for a person, a sweetheart, or maybe like a close friend or someone that you just wanted to bone. Ball. But in the mid-1800s the word took on a new meaning. It now referred to a thing, an object, something that a person bought.

A product for people to capitalize on. Like a goat thong. Valentine's Day goes completely commercial, baby. And forget Hallmark, okay? They wouldn't be invented for another 60 years, so leave them at this. So instead, we have one person to thank for all of this. Someone who history conveniently seemed or seems to forget. Probably because she's a woman.

Yeah. Anyhow, a woman who earned the nickname the mother of the American Valentine. I know. I was like, how come I've never heard of this? What?

Esther Holland was born on August 17th, 1828 in Worcester, Massachusetts. At some point, her dad, her dad, a guy by the name of Southworth, I know these names, wow. He opened the largest bookstore and stationery shop in their hometown. It was called S.A. Holland and Sons. Notice how it doesn't say and daughter, you know?

Kind of fucked up. He only cared about his sons. But their family business was known for selling religious books. But Esther's dad also happened to sell like intricate and beautiful valentines from England. Now Esther, she was like a very ambitious young woman and she wanted to make a name for herself, okay? So after high school, she attended Mount Holyoke College

And this is like the mid 1800s. So first of all, it's still very kind of rare for a woman to even get into college, let alone get a college education. But either way, Esther, she was like, fuck that noise. I'm going. And she crushed it. Ended up graduating in 1847 at the age of 19 years old.

Go Esther. So she finishes school and she returns home to like figure out what's her next step in life, you know? While she's there, something happens that just changes, not just her life, but the course of Valentine's Day in America forever. So while Esther was minding her own business, being a youthful 19 year old, a business associate of her dad approaches her and in his hand was a slip of paper and he handed it over to Esther.

The paper had like an elaborate lace border with detailed like cut out flowers that were glued on. And in the center was like a small green envelope, just beautiful to look at. So Esther gets it and she opens the envelope and she pulls out a note with a poem written on it.

what is this? Now we don't know exactly what it said but similar poems at the time would say something like "my dearest dear and blessed divine, I have pictured here your heart and mine." I know oh my god hot wet. Now listen to this. Esther

She wasn't really flattered. She doesn't say thank you, how sweet. She doesn't like bone him. She looks at the Valentine and she thinks to herself, "Oh my God, this is like some cheap British import. I could probably do something way better."

She's like, let me try. Because of the family stationary hookup, Esther convinces her dad to order some paper and like all sorts of supplies from New York and Europe. She's like, Daddy, just do it. Believe in me, OK? Over the next few months, Esther puts together a few prototypes of like Valentine's cards. So she makes these Valentine's. She gives them to her brothers.

Her brother works as a salesman for her dad's store, right? So he goes out and he tries to sell the stationery or whatever. But he takes along the Valentines. He takes them to Boston and New York. And Esther's like, well, maybe like they'll click with somebody, right? And

hopes that someone would place an order. Now she was like hoping that maybe $200 worth of orders would come through, fingers crossed. But listen to this, her brother returned from his sales trip and handed her $5,000 worth of business. Esther was like completely, her head exploded. She's like, what?

People loved these valentines. They were gorgeous. They wanted more. What is this? Give it to me. I'll take 10. So it was time to get to work. Step one, she was like, okay, I need an office. So the guest bedroom on the third floor of the family's house was the perfect place. Step two, Esther like ordered more supplies and some embossed paper from Europe. And then step three, she hired four local women to help her out.

So the five of them got to work side by side in like an assembly line. Esther was in charge of cutting and creating the basic design for each Valentine. And like from there, the workers would glue layers of textures and colors together, making these cards. And

Oh, they're gorgeous. Esther, she loved using pastel oranges, greens, blues, red and gold. I mean, the team, they would use like gilded lace, silk, satin and like special paper to make the cards feel almost like 3D paper. To make just like one of these, it would take hours. So they were handmade. These women were putting in work. In the center of these cards, there was usually like some sort of image, like a couple,

frolicking together, being in love or something, you know? And for Flair, they added little cupids and flowers. And these cards are freaking gorgeous. When I saw them online, I was like, how'd they do this? Because they made it. It's so intricate. How'd they do it? There's other versions of the cards that had hidden doors and envelopes on the inside that could hold secret messages, locks of hair, or even...

an engagement ring. After Esther inspected every card made by her team, she would add the final piece, which was like a stroke of branding genius. On the back, she'd always put a red letter H for Howland, and it was like the perfect logo. Esther incorporated her business and named it the New England Valentine Company, which I love. Like she was like, "F you, dad. I don't need your business. I got my own now."

And in the following year, her orders doubled. I mean, there are multiple accounts that say Esther earned something like $100,000 per year in the 1850s. So let's do some math here. That equals like $3 million today. So she is killing it.

Good for Ella, good for her, you know? And she didn't keep it all to herself. She was one of the first employers in America to pay women a good wage. Sad. And I think that was probably the last time an employer in America paid women a good wage.

She enjoyed her millions. She took care of the people who worked for her. I mean, Esther was known around town as, quote, "an aristocratic woman with high color and glossy chestnut hair." And she drove high-stepping horses, dressed fashionably, and had facials.

You know that one good tank top that you wear like all year round? I mean, it fits you just right. So you wear it all the time, but maybe now it's getting a little old. Shifting my wardrobe from summer to fall is always a challenge. Luckily, Quince offers timeless and high quality items that I

love so I can make sure my wardrobe stays fresh and I don't blow my budget. They've got cashmere sweaters from $50, pants for every occasion, washable silk tops. And my favorite part, all Quince items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. By partnering directly with top factories, Quince cuts out the cost of the middleman and

and passes the savings on to us. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I recently got this 100% European linen short sleeve shirt. Ooh, I love linen. And you know, it was so comfortable, so cute. I can finally retire my old ratty tank top.

R.I.P. Make switching seasons a breeze with Quince's high quality closet essentials. Go to quince.com slash dark history for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash dark history to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash dark history.

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, while you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance.

It's easy and you can save money by doing it from your phone. Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner and more.

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Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $744 by new customer survey who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations. Now, goals. I'm not sure what kind of facial, but...

Esther became like the first person to commercialize Valentine's Day cards in America. And some of her early work had short four line verses on like the inside, and this became the standard for Valentine's Day cards. Even like to this day, we all recognize that style. In 1901, the Boston Globe said Esther had quote, "Monopolized the business in the United States." Eventually,

After some time, she would sell her business to a competitor. Hopefully she made a lot of money and she did so so she could take care of her dad who was sick. It was never disclosed how much she had sold the company for, but you know, I think it's safe to say it was a lot and good for her.

and those beautiful cards. Now, even though Esther single-handedly commercialized love in America, sadly, she never found love herself. Maybe she didn't want to, you know? She died in 1904 as an unmarried woman. Some would say that this is a sad ending to her story, but I don't know. Maybe she liked women. Maybe she didn't want a man. Maybe she just wanted to be on her own, okay? Who really cares? Maybe she wasn't sad. Maybe she was a cat lady.

Either way, Esther's legacy is massive and a lot of her incredible work is still floating around out there today. I mean, some of it is shown right alongside other world famous art at the Metropolitan Museum in New York. So if you go, take a picture and send it to me because I've never been there. So let me know, I want to see it. So her artistic contributions have actually been hiding like in plain sight this whole time. Go Esther! Woo! Now before we go, I do need to mention

the elephant in the room. Where? Okay, in 1910, two brothers, they got into the postcard business with their company called Hall Brothers. But as postcard sales went down, they saw the Valentine's and Christmas card market booming, you know, most likely because of Esther. So they ended up getting into the greeting card game around the year 1915. In 1928, they changed their company name to Hallmark.

And the rest is history. Now they got their own TV channel. Now their impact is pretty big, but in my opinion, their story is quite boring. What is interesting though is that we think of Valentine's Day as like a hallmark holiday, as if like they started it, but now you know, they sure as hell did not. In the year 2022,

Such a blur, right? When was that? I don't even know. Sounds like forever ago, but also sounds like last year. But anyways, in 2022, Americans spent nearly $24 billion on Valentine's Day. I don't know what you guys are buying, okay? I don't know.

I'm not buying anything. You guys are wild. And according to Hallmark, who owes everything to Esther, they say 145 million Valentine's Day cards are exchanged every year. These days, I mean, when we think about Valentine's Day today, it's about planning, you know, where are you going to have dinner at, making dinner reservations, buy flowers, you

I guess people get crazy gifts and just go like all out to publicly prove their love for someone, which is so annoying, right? When I see that happening. Performative love. Can't stand it. Maybe I'm just jealous though. Anyways, if you're like a person who is alone on Valentine's Day,

Look, it's good for us the next day when all the candy goes on sale. Okay? So what are the real success stories here? Because guess what? I don't need a man to buy me candy. I could buy my own candy and I will sit and cry alone at home eating that candy.

Anywho, enough about me crying. What a journey this episode was, huh? I was just curious to see what the hell was up with Valentine's Day. You know, was it just about like money? What was it about? And I was not disappointed. Valentine's Day was about fertility and reproduction. And now, now I think about it, I think it still is about that 'cause it still happens to this very day. And you know, thank God it does because if there was no Valentine's Day, there'd probably be no me. So thanks parents.

for doing your part on Valentine's Day and nine months later pushing me out, Ma. You're the greatest. Speaking of making babies, so many of my friends are having kids. They're on like their third now. And look, I mean, kids are great, right?

But at least they're very expensive and I could never like get past how terrifying the whole birthing process sounds. I've heard horror stories and I'm like, you want me to have a kid after you just told me that story? I'm good. So naturally, because I'm a curious little bitch, it got me wondering. It's the year 2024, allegedly, but it still sounds like child labor is brutal, right?

So what was it like giving birth in the 1300s? I need to know more. Right away, I found out that the best way to give birth is actually by squatting. That's really all you need to know. Goodbye. Just kidding. But today, for some sick reason, we lay on our backs and you'll never guess why. It's because of some king, a king who liked to watch his wives push her babies out.

Yeah, it was like some kind of kink that carried on to this day. Let me tell you, this story is going to be a ride. So come back next week when we talk about the dark history of childbirth. I'm going to push one out for you.

Thank you. Hope to see you there. Anywho, join me over on my YouTube where you can actually watch these episodes on Thursday after the podcast airs. And while you're there, you can also check out my murder mystery in makeup. I'd love to hear your guys' reactions to today's story. So make sure to use the hashtag dark history over on social media so I can follow along. If you see me out in the streets, make sure to whip me with a goat song. Ah!

I'll let you. Anyways, let's read a couple of comments you guys had left me. So Rose left a comment on our Beauty is Pain episode saying, quote, I was due for some Bailey. I also love the idea that Paul is the peanut, Bailey is the butter, and Joan is the jelly. Bailey would be the butter. Best part. End quote. Did you hear that, you guys? Best part. Ha ha ha.

Thanks. Lindsay left me a comment on our oral hygiene episode saying, quote, "Love the intro music, Bailey. Also love all the videos you make. I wish there were some more. Side note, yes, I love the dentist. I've creeped out multiple dental hygienists over the pleasing noises I've made." You're like moaning and groaning? Is that what you're doing? Oh my God, girl. Okay, good for you. Keep those teeth clean.

Also, I appreciate you for loving my videos. Thanks for hanging out with me. Be Cool left us an episode suggestion. I love an episode suggestion. Be Cool said, quote, "I would love to also see a dark history on Andrew Carnegie and JP Morgan. They were both incredibly ruthless and cutthroat, not groovy dudes who are right up there with Rockefeller." You know what? Yes, I agree with you.

Taking notes, JP Morgan, Andrew Carnegie. Because he has a whole like hall, Carnegie Hall, right? What's that about? Anyways, thanks for the recommendation. I put it in my notes right here. Stay tuned. Anyways, thank you guys so much for leaving comments, giving recommendations, and telling me how much you love me. I appreciate it. I look forward to it every week, so keep them coming.

Dark History is an Audioboom original. This podcast is executive produced by Bailey Sarian, Junya McNeely from 3Arts, Kevin Grush, and Matt Enloe from Maiden Network. Writers Joey Scavuzzo, Katie Burris, Allison Pelobos, and me, Bailey Sarian. Production lead Brian Jaggers. Research provided by Xander Elmore. A special thank you to our expert, Dr. Jacqueline Burek.

And I'm your host, Bailey Sarian. I hope you have a good rest of your week and you make good choices, please. I'll be talking to you later. Bye.

I'm Stanzi Potenza. And I'm Brad Padre. Launching June 13th is our new podcast, Late to the Party. In this post-ironic chat show, we'll show you a window into our world of crazy post-ironic thoughts. An unlikely friendship founded on a shared love for riffs, ranting, and getting absolutely wrecked.

Consider this an invitation to our inside jokes. You're late to the party, but no one cool ever shows up on time. Follow Late to the Party on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to this kind of stuff.