Raanan Hershberg [PATREON PREVIEW]
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I'd love to get back to when you first were fucking and you busted immediately. Oh, right. That was so many interesting kids. Yes, yes. So this college set the stage for me. All right, I'm at college. I'm at SUNY Purchase. SUNY Purchase. Love it. Out-of-state tuition, even though it's a state school. Brutal. Sparkles on my part. Yeah, yeah. And there's this girl who we were friends, and one night we're complaining about how we're both virgins. There's this other kid in the class who was, like, super fat who lost his virginity and claimed it. We're like, this is bullshit.

Yeah, this fucking tub of shit fucked. What about us? So I just joked a little. I said, we should just have sex. We're just friends. I just joked. We should fuck. But you were sweating. Yeah. You were like. It would be so funny if we fucked. It's a joke if you take it as a joke. Right. If you take it seriously.

Oh, believe me, I was a virgin late. You know how many of those I lobbed out there? They got fucking smacked down and I had to be like, of course not. What the fuck? Yeah, so she goes, really? And I'm like, oh, really? And I'm like, you're serious? Yeah. And I'm like, okay, let's do it. Wow, you never hooked up, you never kissed, anything like that? I was like, should we kiss tonight? Just to make it less awkward. And she's like, I don't know. And then I was like, she was like, let's flip a coin. Oh my God. Yeah. Just no. No country for old men fucking making out. Yeah.

How much we rely on this coin toss. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we, heads or whatever, we made out and then we had a plan to have sex. I remember I was freaking out about prematurely ejaculating. And I read this book. I think I was reading at the time, Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning. He survived the Holocaust. It's very weird. He survived the Holocaust. So it's a great book. So wait, wait, wait. This is what you were reading to get your dick hard for your first? Well, this is what's weird about it. So it's actually a great book about like,

He survived the Holocaust. He did it the whole time. He imagined that his wife was still alive even though she wasn't. And the whole philosophy on the book, it's a psychological book. And I get to the end and it says, "To not coming early, it's all psychological. So you have to actually use reverse psychology. If you don't want to come early, try to come early." - Hilarious. - So I was like, in my head, I'm like, we're about to have sex. I'm putting my penis in the vagina. I'm like, "Come early?"

And I just come early. Like, you took that work. It's so funny to think about this girl. She's hot, right? She hasn't made it work for whatever reason. She's like, you know, I've built up a rapport with this guy. I trust him. I want my first time to be safe and nice. And you are just busting a condom, I'm guessing. So I came early. And then I remember I pulled out and said my condom fell off. She didn't realize I came. Awesome move. Awesome move, right? Yeah. So I go to the dresser. I get another condom. Yeah. Try to put it on, but I couldn't get it up now.

And so I had gone through, like, I had experienced both erectile dysfunctions on my first time having sex. Wow. Which I think was really traumatic. That's a tough, that's a bad omen, too. Yeah, that's why I have my back pain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I believe that, actually. So I couldn't get it up, but I was trying really hard. And then the only way I could really get it up is I started imagining this other girl I was in love with in high school and imagining fucking her. And your dick got hard? And my dick got hard. So through my first time having sex, I experienced...

Erectile dysfunction, coming early, not getting up, and just not being present. Yeah, yeah. You literally had sex the way a 64-year-old, like, insurance salesman fucks his wife. The only time you felt love.