Ian Fidance [PATREON PREVIEW]
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Such a hilarious episode, so many great moments. You're gonna love it. Here's a preview, and if you got the scratch, think about signing up for the Patreon. Hey, Stav, thanks for bringing this back. Got something for you here. I live in Vegas and play poker sometimes. There's this really, really cool and cute girl who works at one of the poker rooms I play at a lot.

And I've been trying to think of like a non-creepy way to like talk to her and, you know, ask for her number. I mean, I talk to her sometimes, but, you know, like actually ask for her number while she's at work because I don't really see her outside of work. I feel like that might be the best way and just like leave it to her. And like if she doesn't text me, like that's fine. I don't know.

Poker is very male-dominated. Every time there's a cute girl in the room, whether she's at the table playing or working or whatever, there are always creepy guys trying to hit on her. And I don't want to be that kind of guy. Sure. But also, I really don't want to have sex with her. That's fair. I have to say, personally, unless there's some kind of undeniable...

we share or something really. I err on the side if I don't approach them when they're working because it's like totally because that's their job. Absolutely. And if it's someplace you go a lot, say you are struck down, you got to find a new place to go. You're not going to keep showing up there like a fucking creep. Right. I say you walk up to her and immediately go, am I wrong? Is there something between us? I'd like to give you a royal flush.

What is that, shitting in her bushes? That's a royal flush. Yeah, think this through. If you've seen her consistently for, like, a couple months and you still haven't had, like, a conversation or, like, a real long, like, rapport, you got no shot. Yeah, yeah. I would just be very careful, and I'm erring on the side. Unless you're a gambling man.

No. Because I think he does want to poker. No, no, no. That's not even a... Oh, my God. I did. Standing ovation. I did. Give him the crickets. Give him the crickets. No!

Poker was a little something. Gambling Man was not even a joke. If it doesn't work out, you could throw her on the river. I'm the opposite. I think Gambling Man was a little something, but you lost me with Poker. I thought Poker was the one. I guess maybe you could say that joke was the flop.

Shut up. Come on. Shut up. Fuck you, Ian. Say, oh, is this Texas? Are your boobies Texas? Because I want to hold them. Oh, Jesus Christ, dude. You're just remembering terms. Ace of Spades.