Gareth Reynolds [PATREON PREVIEW]
03:07 Share

Where do they live now? My mother lives in England and he lives in Wisconsin. Oh, Pops loved it in Wisconsin. He's the king, baby.

Why leave the castle? That is true. A British... Is your dad fat by any chance? No, he's not fat. Big fat British guy in Wisconsin. Oh, man. That'd be... Actually, I take that back. Everyone's fat in Wisconsin. Yeah. A not fat British guy... Because it's such a drinking culture. Yeah. So if your dad's getting fucked up with a British accent, that's like a fun little novelty. But like a prim...

British lady who wanted to live in LA. Yeah. Not going to work in Wisconsin. No, no, no. Got to get back to England. Yeah, she left. Yeah. He, like, he's, his accent is so weird. Hell yeah. It's like a little blend. It's the weirdest blend. I love that. Like, people are like, is he South African? They're like...

what's going on? Because he's like, do you understand where the place where we need to get the blood diamond? You know, you're like, what's going on? I love the idea of a British guy just coming in and, because like, we always know, like the most annoying women in America want to be like, oh, we like the royals, like those dumb bitches that'll wake up to watch like,

Kate Middleton getting married at 3am and wear a fucking stupid hat. But I love the flip side, which is some British guy being like, oh, I want to be white trash. So if we lose the point, then they serve and don't get a point? Yeah, yeah. Alright. I love the idea of your dad just watching the Packers or some shit and being like, one day I'd love to get headed behind a Covers. Come on. Yeah, exactly.

I want brats. I want to think about having anal with some woman I met at a Bon Jovi concert, but she's had too much cheese that day. While we're marinating kielbasa in schlitz. Doing it the way God intended, goddammit. That's great. I really love that form of cultural exchange. Some guy just becomes Wisconsin trash. Well, if you put it on paper, it's like the craziest... They went from like...

My dad, especially, went from London-ish area to Brown Deer, Wisconsin. And it's just like, man, that is... A scientist would be like, this will not meld. We cannot... On paper, no. It's awesome. But he pulled it off. It's like a guy in Vietnam going native. Yeah, right. Your dad went native in Wisconsin. Yeah, completely. Yeah.

Yeah. And like, yeah. And like, you know, he'll have like, like his outfits. And I mean, he just is totally. That rules. Wisconsin. Yeah. Through and through. Some fucking acid wash wranglers. Yeah. But like, he still drinks tea, but like he'll drink it in like a crazy barrel. Like, I can't figure out the metric. He's microwaving a 7-Eleven big gulp cup. It's like, it's melting in his hand while he's drinking Earl Grey out of it. God, that's a good spot. Tastes a little like the Mountain Dew from last night. It's a bit plasticky, isn't it?

Chemicals are smoking from it, I think. I'm not sure. That's beautiful, dude.