Bonus #98 - Juice Brothers Vol. 1: Enter The Cheeks Zone [PATREON PREVIEW]
08:39 Share

PenFed Free Checking offers zero fees and zero balance requirements for zero hassle. PenFed Access America Checking lets you earn money on your balance for dreams big and small. Choose the best account for you and start making the most of your money. Learn more at PenFed.org. Federally insured by NCOA. To receive any advertised product, you must become a member of PenFed Credit Union. PenFed's got great rates for everyone.

So I worked with this guy and he needed to move out. So I invited him to come live in my house. What? I'm subletting a room to him and we're, we've become kind of friends, you know, we're kind of close. He's got seven or eight years on me. He's a bit older, but he's kind of a, kind of a softer guy. He was raised by women and has a lot of trouble dating. Yeah.

Sounds like he's into the cheek zone. I kind of feel bad for the guy. This guy's very welcome here. He's a low-value male. He's going to get sexed in, but he's welcome. And I kind of feel bad for the guy, but that's not quite the issue. The issue is he has a really hot younger sister who is also my age. Yes. About a week ago, he brought her over to the house. Yes. No.

She was kind of into me, and I don't know. I want to date her. I want to ask her out. But this kid, he would be absolutely crushed if I started dating his sister. I can tell he's already a little bit jealous that I'm able to even talk to women. And I don't know. My question is, should I shoot my shot? I feel like it may...

I'm gouging him on the room.

That would be sweet. I'm just having trouble making this decision whether or not I should shoot my shot or not. I appreciate it. I hope y'all are having a lovely day. This is the nightmare of capitalism, man.

The need to find a suitable roommate is stopping you from getting top shelf pussy. This is honestly, we should play this. This is the housing crisis. We should, this would, put it in this terms, Bernie wins last time. You know what I'm saying? Like, this is crazy.

This would never happen in the cheek zone. In the cheek zone, no. Rent is incredibly affordable. Yeah, rent is subsidized. There's clinics. You actually get $20 off your rent for every time you fuck. We need to bring his roommate into the Mick Jagger hat for an hour.

And I think it would change his life. One hour in the Jagger hat solves everything, I think. One hour in Elders' top hat paradise where you get the fuck Mick Jagger, young Mick Jagger in the mouth. Get in line, buddy. That's true. This guy just sliding over to this girl like, hi, you know I'm your brother's landlord, right? He rents from me. Okay, so...

This is, I mean, dude, this is a pure and simple cost-benefit analysis here. What are the, okay, let's start with number one. Can you actually fuck his sister? That's the clear, unless you have, unless you are clear that you can fuck his sister,

To potentially blow up this situation, which by all other accounts seems good, right? Good roommate is hard to find. I was lucky. I always lived with my friends. I was always the shitty roommate, right? And I was a personality roommate. I was not a, you know, cleanliness roommate. Eldest was the same way, and I'm tired of you pretending I wasn't. I didn't say anything, man. Let's not forget, you know, Lester.

A lot of trash when you're staying here or even in Baltimore. Yeah, we were equally messy. Right, but to this day, even as a guest, you're kind of, I would say, a pretty messy guest. But, you know, that's neither here nor there. But to blow this up, if you think you only have a...

What's the true probability you can fuck this girl? But to me, if you think about the cost-benefit, it's like the things... On one side, if things go bad, you've fucked up this relationship with this girl. That's fucked up. And now it's weird with your roommate, which sucks. Both of the... That is what's going to happen. And the other option is you just don't... You just have to wait a little longer to get... You fuck a different girl. Yeah, you fuck a different girl like...

Maybe in a week. I mean, to me, the home is sacred, so it would be really hard for me to jeopardize that. But it's also, you know, sometimes I don't know why we're answering these questions. In the cheek zone, you daft the fucker. If you were like, this is the woman I have been waiting for my whole life.

You know what I mean? If it was like that... He's young. He sounds pretty young, though, too. I would be like, go for it. But if you're just like, you want to... It's a nice spot. You might have a chance at a hot girl. Yeah. And this hot girl's into me. Might have a chance at a hot girl. It just feels a little... It's not worth blowing your whole living situation up. She's just polite and relieved that her autistic 40-year-old brother has a semi-normal friend. She's being nice to the guy to ruin the situation for her brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. That's...

He does not have the credit score to get his own place. Thank you so much. Exactly. Thank you for renting from him cash. He cannot sign any paper. He's not a lease guy. He's not a lease guy. Yeah, so that's my first...

That's the first worry. I don't even live with my wife, though. That's another thing that people have to understand. I don't even let her in my home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how sacred home is to me. That's literally true. The love of my life may not enter. But me and elders can.

Oh, absolutely. I feel I'm going to have been on this. I think it's a clear no. He does sound he does sound just like a young, horny idiot, honestly. Yeah, if it was if it was a little more like, you know, where we have a real connection. She's hit me up a couple of times. Yeah. Like there's a real thing here. And I really want to pursue. We've been texting a little bit or she we you know, I DM to her and we got a little conversation going to shoot your shot quote situation. I think the answer is no.

Even the way he's talking, he's just like, I'm sure the roommate is weird, but he's talking like he's like, yeah, he just doesn't know the ropes of getting pussy and what real life is all about. He just thinks like he's got it all figured out. You're probably pretty dumb. Yes. And, you know, yeah, maybe you could even fuck his sister. Right. You guys always assume the worst. It'll go up in flames, truly, in like less than three months. For sure. If I had to guess. For sure. If it even happens.

I had an attractive female roommate at one point. Oh, I remember her. I actually, well, never mind. Tell your story. It wasn't in the cheek zone, so you actually have no memory of it. Only I can access my non-cheeks memories. Thank you. Not true. There was a period of some flirtation, but I was just like, just breathe it out. I would have derailed my whole life if I had just got into that situation. That's different because it's in the actual house, but it's like...

It's definitely worse what you're describing. Yeah. But especially if you're like, it would really, I could tell he wouldn't like it. Then don't, I mean, don't do it. I mean, also, what does it look like? Like, okay, they fuck, they start dating. What, she's going to come over and fuck this guy while the brother's like in the other room. That's a great point. That's just fucking weird, too. Like, think about where you'll fuck.

And what it'll look like. The three of you sitting watching Netflix together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to go back to their mother's house where she lives to fuck. Yeah. Yeah, dude. This is... It's fraught. Landmines everywhere. There is like a 3% chance of anything good happening. No, what this is, is keep being friendly with her, keep connecting...

Keep that alive. Eventually he'll move out. Maybe then. Yeah, that's true. Cause the guy does sound like a train wreck. You're like, you don't know when he'll like, I'd go for it. But it's like, he's in the, if he's just a coworker, let's do the thing. This guy's his roommate and his coworker. Yeah. Yeah. That's a guy that's really in your life. That's your whole fucking life. Yeah. And I'll trifled with those things in my life. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. So yeah, dude, we have to veto this cause we don't believe you can pull it off.