Bonus #92 - Tommy McNamara [PATREON PREVIEW]
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Download speeds up to 1 gigabit per second. Cox Internet is connected to the premises via coaxial cable. Speeds vary and are not guaranteed. Cox terms and other restrictions may apply. Fastest based on average download speeds from highspeedinternet.com. Speed test in 2023. Hey, Stavi, Elvis, whichever guest. Hope this gets answered on the Patreon exclusive. Make us pay for the good life advice. That's right, bro. You're lucky. I'm 41 years old on the East Coast. I'm three more years away from my pension. Hell yeah, dude. I'm a lifelong electrical worker. Shout out to the IBEW. Shout out to them. We've been together for over six years.

When I was 39, I had a heart attack. Put a real fucking scare into me, you know. I had everything I needed, and I risked cutting it short because of fucking White Castle. So I decided to start getting my fat ass in order so I could live long enough to enjoy my life. I love that. Since my heart attack, I really committed to living healthier. I've been working out. I eat healthy. I cut out the sugar and booze, and I'm looking and feeling better than I did in high school.

Very interesting. Oh, no.

Wow, this might be the rare reverse of the call we always get. Because, Tommy, one of the big motifs of this podcast is a fat piece of shit that loses weight in his, like, 50s or 40s. And, like, is like, well, now I have to cheat. And this could just be the most...

He's laid the most groundwork for that out of anyone. But from his voice, he sounds like he does it. Let's hear him out. But this is the rare, like... We very rarely get the flip side of this. And he's a patron of Stavi's World. So he has a good head on his shoulders. He's a patron and a good union man who's put all his time in at the IBEW. He's got a good... Yeah, this is a guy... And you can legitimately...

Not to be corny, but his voice is that of like, he has an honest way about speaking. And there's no hemming and hawing. All those other guys are so like, it's like a little kid asking for candy they know they're not supposed to have. They're like, they never get to the point. But this guy's very direct. Anyway. It seems every few months, whenever my girl's going through her own insecurity or some fucking TikTok puts brain worms into her, I deal with some BS tests.

set up to try and catch me cheating. I love this woman. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Cheating hasn't really been a thought for me. I love her, but I am too old for this shit. Just because I got healthy at middle age doesn't mean I want to leave her for the host that she thinks I smiled at for too long. Like, how do I diffuse her insecurities and calm the shit down so I can coast into retirement with the person I love? Thanks, folks. I can answer this one easy. Get fat again. Ha ha ha!

Everyone's happy. It's looking at you right in the face, bro. Looking at, just, you know what I mean? Maybe it doesn't have to be White Castle. You just step it up. You could eat more, better, you know. But yeah, that is the easiest solution. I've come up with this plan where you look like shit. No one's ever worried about you. Tommy's ready to settle down, folks.

Tommy's already put the first part into place. He's just waiting for the woman who loves him more than anything in the world now. This is very difficult because I truly believe him. And I didn't consider this. And it's also, I got to say, this would fucking feel bad to me because...

It would mean the person you loved... Like, because you hear this all the time from people that lose weight. That they... A thing that's very depressing to them is how bad they used to get treated by society for being fat, right? And...

It's one thing if it's a random person, but this guy's kind of figuring out that the person he loves saw him that way. The person he loves more than anything sees his value as much higher now because he's healthy. That would be the thing that would piss me off after I did a little math, right? Like, look, is this annoying? Yes, right? But I do think there is some like...

You could go to couples counseling about this. You could just say it to her. You could continue to act in a way that's like, hey, if you ever do this, like, you just make it clear that her behavior, although if someone is really insane about this, they won't be like, you need to understand if you keep treating me this way or if you keep testing my loyalty, it's not that I want to cheat, but I can't be in a relationship. Like, you just have to stop doing this. This is fucking bad. And maybe she could figure it out, but I think

Worst case, you could go to fucking couples counseling about it. But what underlies all of that is like, yes, she's clearly insecure, but that would really fucking hurt my feelings if it meant like, wait, you fucking thought I was, you think I'm better now? You're my fucking wife. Yeah, I didn't even think of it that way. Like it's one thing if like somebody I knew, but it's like that would piss me off.

Yeah. I mean, otherwise, though, I don't know, you know. Well, it sounds like she's just like spiraling, like even if it's, yeah, like a society thing or not based in reality. So she just needs to, yeah, it's just all in her mind. If you haven't done this already, which he probably has, right? But let's just cover our bases here and say a big part of, like in a lot of instances, is plainly saying that

How you feel and what you need, right? That's step one, if you haven't done that already. Because I could also see him not doing it, right? I could also see it being kind of natural to like, when your partner says shit like this, be like, what are you talking about? Like, being so annoyed that you don't ever just clearly state it. So if you haven't done it, just say, hey, this actually, I don't really appreciate how you are

You don't trust me anymore because I got it. Because, by the way, this isn't even a guy who lost weight out of nowhere. That would even be, you could kind of understand. He got a heart attack. He had a fucking heart attack. If I'm you, I'm saying, hey, I don't appreciate the fact that when I was faced with a health emergency and the idea that I wouldn't get to spend the rest of my life with you, I made a

hard choices and changes into my into my life lifestyle changes so that I could be around for the rest of our lives and the way you're treating me because of that is to now I'm not a different person and now you're treating me as if I'm suspicious that that doesn't make me feel good that makes me feel like taking for granted and that you have your own insecurities to deal with

You can't keep bringing this up. I don't want to cheat on you. I love you. The reason I lost this weight is so that I could have a longer life with you. But the more you behave like this, the more it makes me feel bad. And I can't do this forever. This is something you have to figure out. And I want to work through this with you, but it is something we have to deal with. And that's

You have to make that, you have to kind of state that plainly. You have to set up a boundary and then, you know, hopefully she doesn't cross it. Hopefully she takes your word for it. But, and I do think for that reason, it's like offering to help somehow. Maybe, maybe it is counseling. Maybe it's whatever. Maybe she wants to work on her own, but like, there's only so much you can do if you say that, you know, or you could just fucking, you know, if she really keeps fucking asking for it.

You could get some fucking head on the sneak. Give her a taste of her own medicine. You made me do this, you fucking bitch. You made me do it. That's good advice.

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