Bonus #89 - Adam Gilbert [PATREON PREVIEW]
05:50 Share

Nice. Mm-hmm.

Oh, no.

In retrospect, as I'm sure you can imagine how that looked and how she perceived that. Now she's suspicious of me thinking I'm going around behind her back or, you know, something weird in my photos that I didn't want her to see, not an engagement ring. So let me know, Savvy. I don't want to spoil the surprise. But also I don't want her to think that I'm fucking cheating on her. So, yeah, thanks a lot. What could explain wanting to snatch...

That is really tough because in the moment, like as soon as it hits you, you need to like go for it immediately, but you got to be calm. Like, oh, can I see that real quick? Actually, I forgot to do something. Just like make something up. Forgot to do something. I mean, if he snatched it, that's bad. Like you got to at least like stay collected. Look, the moment's gone. Yes. What he should have done was pull the fucking fire alarm.

Or whatever. You know what I mean? He should have, like, pretended to trip and knock her over. Yeah. I would have squeezed my arm and went, 911. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, pretend to faint. Yeah, yeah. Thumb at the mouth. Pop some Tums in your shit. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it sucks because it's just one snatch. Even the lamest thing that would have came to his mind would have been like something. The fact that it's like already after the fact, it's like festering and it's just weird. How long until you propose, by the way? This honestly just might be grounds to move up the proposal. Oh, in the... Yeah. That's the only way out of it. Yeah.

Propose tomorrow. She says yes. This is the photo I didn't want you to see. Yeah, then it becomes kind of fun. The quicker you propose, the quicker this actually becomes a really fun, charming story. Yeah. Because, you know, and that, by the way, if you're a guy who is cheating on your girlfriend and you snatch the phone so she doesn't see tits someone else sent you, the way out is also to propose. This actually, this guy's actually helped guys cheating. Yep.

This is great. You propose, then worry about it later if you're that guy. Absolutely. But yeah, you actually, you just got to fucking, like, let's, okay, let's think about some potential, what could get you out of this? One thing that immediately pops to mind is like,

Eldest sent me a picture of his nuts. That's what I was going to say. But you got to do that fast. You know what I mean? Like, look, I'm so sorry. He sent me a picture of his cock. I should have deleted it, but I wanted to save it to like blackmail him with later. I don't want you to look at his dick. That's what you should have done immediately. That's good. Or blame it on the group chat.

And just be like, oh, they sent this joke over that I don't really like. And I don't really like that stuff. So I deleted it and I didn't want you to see it. But it's a picture. You know what I mean? He would have had to save it. I guess the same is true of you...

But it's like he took a picture of his dick with my phone. It's like, I'm sorry, the boy sent a meme of Hitler saying the N-word and the N-word's written on it. I didn't want you to feel... I know that just looks and sounds bad, obviously. I saved it so I know to avoid it. The only thing I would say that you have is my boy took a picture of his cock with my phone to fuck with me. But you gotta be... Oh, here we go. Bigger secret.

Ooh, okay. My sister sent me this picture of a positive pregnancy test. She didn't want anybody to know. So I yanked it. But you would gossip with your girl, wouldn't you? I guess if you're about to get engaged...

That's true. That could buy him some time. But family is the one thing that could buy you a little time. Yeah. But, dude, you just got to get engaged, bro. I think you got to just... You got to get engaged. Because even the other things, it's like, oh, wow, after three weeks, you came up with a good excuse. It's like the damage is done. Like, oh, remember that girl you saw me come out of the movie theater with?

She's my physical therapist, actually. I ran into her there after. And she was, I was, you know, whatever. Like, you're fucked. She's helping me watch movies again. Yeah, she's shaking my posture in the theater. Yeah, dude, you just got to propose immediately. The time for good excuses is dead and gone. That's tough. I will say one thing to his advantage is like,

It's one snatch. It's weird, but it's just like one moment. So I could see that like kind of dissolving after like a few days. If you have a good relationship overall, that kind of shit does dissolve over time. So, you know. I think about when the jig is up, just confess. Yeah. That's what you're doing. Yeah. Or start cheating on her. Yeah.