Bonus #82 - Sam Evans and Shane Torres [PATREON PREVIEW]
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What? But, um...

How do you think I could tell her no? Oh, man. Fuck. Sounds like you made a grave error. I know. I'm sorry. How do any women call into this podcast at these four moments? Jesus Christ. We get our fair share of a couple dumb bitches, too. Don't worry. It's not just male dumb bitches. But, okay, I'm a little confused because stepdaughter? That means you're married to this woman.

Yeah. Married to the woman. He called her his wife. Yeah. Okay. But he said they've only been, he said, I've been with the chick for eight months. Okay. Well, that's over. That huge red flag. That's crazy. You really didn't think this through at all. You cannot go to that anymore. You're married. Putting the marriage aside, you're like, well, I don't love this child. Yeah.

That's essentially what you're saying. I mean, dude, you can't not do this. You decided to start a family with this woman, and yeah, now your stepdaughter is your kid, and you really got to work on how you relate to her because that's an insane thing. This seems cheaper. Yeah. Share a birthday. That's fine. It's your kid, too. You understand that, right? Like, you're not...

I mean, you married her. You're not dating her. There's some responsibility for you here now. Yeah, she lives in your home, theoretically, unless she doesn't. Maybe that's part of it. But even still. But hold on. If this child, this stepdaughter, does not live in his home,

fathers hardly ever get custody. Oh, true, true. So, like, that's also a red flag. I mean, I assume she lives with him, right? I think so, yeah. Just say you want to make them both feel special. His wife is being nice because she's not like, no, give her her own birthday party. I mean, it's just the way you go about... And it's like, yeah, exactly, because it's like...

This would happen sometimes with cousins or certain people. But I guess with siblings, it's more rare because usually there's at least some difference. It's weird for them unless they're basically Irish twins or whatever. But even that... Unless this stepdaughter is 21. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How old is their kid? But either way, your attitude is so fucked. Yeah, yeah.

Like, she's your... You married her, mom. She is your daughter. She's your stepdaughter. You have to start thinking of her as your kid. I mean, it's...

crazy you haven't thought about this before right now. Like, I'm sorry, do you think a birthday... I got a check to eat twice this month? I mean, do you think a birthday is more, is like more of a commitment than a marriage? Like, it's like, he's like, well, look, getting married is one thing, but fucking splitting my son's birthday? You can even tell the language of like, you're married, it's your wife, and then you go, I've been with the chick for eight months. Yeah, yeah.

That's not how you say it anymore, Doug. You're still in the honeymoon phase. Yeah, I know. I mean, why did you get married? That's the problem. I bet it's in the South. Bleep it. We like to keep a little mystique. That's okay. But, well, let's look it up just so we know where it is now out of curiosity.

Oh, interesting. That makes sense. A different type of trash. Hey, you're exactly who we thought you were. But yeah, you're a piece of shit.

I guess what do you mean you're not trying to pay for this? I don't mind my own kid. Yeah, I don't mind. Did he say that? Don't mind my own kid. Dad, do you love me? I don't mind you. You're an okay guy. I got no problem with you. You're a chill guy. How much more expensive can a joint birthday party be for two kids? You just get a couple more pizzas maybe. It's one thing to be like

I want my son to have his own special day. But he's like, which is still wrong. Don't get me wrong. That's still bad behavior. But to be like, I don't want to pay for it. Like, yeah, exactly. What are we talking about? An extra sheet cake and then five more pizzas? Like...

Like one princess sheet cake and one Transformers sheet cake. And that's just going to break the bank. This guy just doesn't want to not go to his bowling league. He has to pick up an extra shift. Dude, this guy. Yeah. So really think about the commitment you've made to this woman and her daughter. And you're just fucked.

Like, she's gonna... This kid is your kid. It's also less trouble to have one joint birthday party than two birthday... Like... Yeah, like, what, do you not buy this kid clothes? Like, you don't... Do you charge her mom for the food she eats? Hey, I got a... I just don't get this question. He's just talking to us like, hey, sweetheart, um...

You and your daughter have been eating me and my son's food. Can you imagine? You know, sometimes it's like there's some communal stuff. I don't care. I don't care if you have some of my sriracha. My name was on that rice. She ate my fucking takeout. Yeah, dude, I'm sorry. These are not roommates. This is your family.

You're being a piece of shit. Pay for the kid's fucking birthday party. Jesus Christ. Well, when this, you know, when this comes out and this party has happened months after, months before, you know, hopefully you guys are still together. Although I'm not rude. I'm honestly not predicting this marriage works from your belief. Just if I'm rolling dice. If I'm rolling dice on this, this is bad news. Seems bad.