So check it out. I am fairly new to being polyamorous. I have two beautiful girlfriends who are very kind to me. We see each other separately. They're not really into...
They get too jealous to be in the same room they'll claw their eyes out going for my penis I
I literally can't have them bring me you two at the same time or there's going to be a conflict. Okay, so what else we got from this guy? Sharing me, I guess. First one, I've known for a very long time. We've been seeing each other in this capacity for about maybe seven months. She's wonderful. She's my main squeeze and I'm her main squeeze. She has another partner.
And they're doing their thing and I'm totally fine with that. The other dude is like my homie and... Your homie? Girl number two. We've been seeing each other for maybe like four months. They know each other. I've known them both for a pretty long time. What the fuck? That's weird. But girl number two...
is a lot harder for me to handle than number one. It's just how much JP nailed the cadence. It's hysterical. I keep trying to listen to him, and I just keep thinking of JP's riff from the last call. The cadence is exactly right. I feel like the way he talks is very informed by how poly people communicate. You have to be very careful with your language. Search for the exact kind of terms and therapy speech. You're right.
talk, you know, just to make sure you're saying the correct thing. It's a chatbot with a very slow loading speed. They all do have that stilted speech. I would love to have a linguist analyze it someday. Alright, let's see what else, what he's got here with his stable of whores that we need to help him with. We need to get Saudi Arabian on these bitches. So, I feel like I end up over there doing a lot of
emotional labor and stuff that I don't really feel like is reciprocated. Maybe I guess I'm trying to say that she's more 80. But the good times are good with both of them. And I guess I want to ask, how can I encourage my kids
second committed girlfriend to find another partner that maybe I can split some of this emotional labor. The answer to solving the quagmire is adding more people to it. Let's get more factors in play here.
Oh man, this is fucking hilarious. This is like, how can I split rent? Making ends meet on this girlfriend is too much. Can I get a roommate in this pussy? Dude.
How do I ask my girlfriend to have someone take a little bit of the pressure off me? How do I find a babysitter for my second girlfriend? This is also a strange setup. He's known them. They've all known each other. He knows all of them so well. This is so weird. That's a weird thing. This is a fucking powder keg. Because if this girl was just a rant. See, this is.
Yes, exactly. JP, you make a great point where he's like, we need to get someone else to... It's like, isn't the whole point of polyamory, the whole point is that you just say your needs clearly. You don't do some weird like... Instead of being like, hey, I'd really only like to see you this amount of times a week. This is the kind of relationship I'd like to have. And setting boundaries and if she doesn't stick to them, leaving, he's like...
Babe, why don't you get another guy to yap to? Because it can't be fucking me. I'm here for pussy. Yeah, it's like I'm here for the second string head. I'm not here to hear about your problems constantly. Can you start sucking off some other guy who could come change the light bulbs once in a while? I can't be coming over every time with this bullshit. Oh, my God.
Yeah. I mean, yeah. Are you sure that's the answer? Go ahead, Elvis. I have a perfect solution for you. Oh, hell yeah. The other girl has a boyfriend. Tell that guy to pull his weight. Start fucking this girl a little. It's like you want to be part of what we got going here. You got to step up to the plate. Fuck her.
We have all the tools we need in front of us. Right, right, right. And they've all known each other for seven years or whatever. It sounds like they live together almost. Isn't that what a homie would do for a homie? Yeah, yeah, he's your homie. Calling your girlfriend's second boyfriend your homies.
So awesome. What's up, G? You put a hurt on that tonight? Yeah, I'm going over to fucking Miss Won't Fucking Shut Up's house. Anyway, have fun fucking my girl. Wish me luck, brother. Fuck that pussy right for me, man. Yeah, we'll all see each other at Boy Genius. Until then, have a good time.
That scenario is a lot like when I'm here after a long day of work and Stav puts on a fucking basketball game and pulls up seamless. I'm like, well, I'll stick around for a long time. It's like, hey, I got some DiGiorno on the counter. You want to get a game of Madden in real quick? What is Kush Brothers if not a polycule? It is true. It's true. Yeah, man, I don't know that you need to encourage her to get another boyfriend. You just need to tell her what you can offer her
I mean, again, clear communication, from what I understand, is the biggest part of being poly. And you're being kind of, yeah, you're... I mean, I guess you're getting the positives in that you're fucking two women, but you're not getting the positives out of like...
Just communicating and saying that this is too much You got enough going on did you don't got to bring in your reserves? Yeah, yeah You don't split tens man. You don't see you're just trying to double down and get more people involved in the equation Yes, she'll be bitching to you She'll be bitching to you about that guy because you know, she's just dating him cuz you forced her to your problem you can't this can't be your idea and
Even for poly people, that's got to be weird. The whole idea is like, whatever happens, happens. Not my boyfriend tells me to get another boyfriend because he finds me annoying. That seems like not, that doesn't seem like the whole spirit of the thing. So yeah, you know. Delicately worded, dude. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
So I don't know, man. I guess you could trick her. I guess you could start hiring some sexy guys to hang out. Polyamory, to me, it just seems like you're taking two classes at once. Like, you're doing your calculus homework while you're playing dodgeball. It doesn't add, like, I don't know why people make it that difficult. Yeah, to me, it's like, I just think, like, hey, if you want to just fuck for a little bit, that's cool, man. You don't got to fucking have a word for it. You know what I mean? It's like, I guess it is just, in theory, it's just...
I guess, yeah, I don't know. To me, although I guess my perspective is that's cool, but it's like, come on, it's not a serious relationship. You're also getting pussy on the side. Even though there's people who are married or who've been together years that pull it off, but...
I don't know. I'd even go a step further. I mean, she's probably being coerced into agreeing to doing poly with this guy. The reason they're not in the same room. Well, that's the thing about polyamorous relationships, Al. This is that everyone fully agrees that it's a good idea. It was everyone's idea all at once.