Bonus #58 - Nick Naney and Wes Haney [PATREON PREVIEW]
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So I got myself a little bit of a conundrum. I got an older brother I love very much. My whole family loves him very much. He's the smartest and funniest guy. We all love him absolutely.

Unfortunately, he is a fucking crackhead like straight up smoking crack and doing all the bullshit the crackheads do My problem is at this point. We've always lived 12 Or more hours away from each other And recently he's been hitting me up more than ever saying, you know, oh it's raining here I need a ride. I need an uber just send me five ten bucks and

Problem is I haven't told him I only live about an hour from where he's at now and have been because I travel for work. So the problem I'm having is do I blow up my spot and tell his ass, hey, you know, I live an hour away from you. Don't bullshit me. Or do I just let him do crackhead shit and ignore him for a while? Because the problem is...

I'm afraid if I let him do crackhead shit, he's going to forget that we're actually his family and not just people who hit up for money. I don't know, man. Maybe you can hit me back with a little bit of advice. Appreciate you. Love your Greek food. Love your Greek people. Thanks, man. Love you. Bye. Interesting. Crackhead brother.

You guys have any crackhead relatives or just drug addicts or anything like that? Just alcoholics. Just alcoholics. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So his question here is, do I tell my crackhead brother I live closer to him than I used to? Yeah, well, what's he hitting him up for? Uber's to him? Money.

So his crackhead brother thinks he lives 12 hours away, which I guess he did at one point. He lives one hour away. In reality, the crackhead doesn't know that. And yeah, he said he's hitting me up like, give me like five, ten bucks for an Uber, for blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Just like reaching out like that. And he's worried basically if his brother knows how close he is, he'll really lean into the...

Oh, gotcha, gotcha. Do you think, though, because a crackhead, does he really want to be face-to-face with the people he's asking for money? Yeah, if they'll give him money. If they'll enable him and give him money. No, you think he'd be like, I guess no. He wants cracks. Cracks behind the wheel. Yeah, yeah, true, true. Interesting. I wonder how long he's lived...

He used to live like 12 hours away? Yeah, yeah. And recently he moved. Okay. He moved an hour away. So an hour is still like, look, for most people that's pretty easy. A crackhead, an hour might as well be 12 hours. What's this guy going to walk five hours to you? Do you know what I mean? Like, what do you think? Do you think he's going to go hang out at his house? No, there's no crack in his house.

Like, what's he really worried about here? I feel like if you know someone is a one-hour drive away from you and not a 12-hour drive, you could really escalate the guilt and the, like, asks or favors or who knows what. It just, like, it is a huge difference. Like...

Like, the worst case scenario here is, like, some guy, his brother owes money to drive to his house. You know what I mean? Like, it's like, no, no, I know my brother. We can go to my brother's house. You know what I mean? Like, that's kind of what I'm worried about here. Yeah, and then he's bringing some guy named Captain Zippy or something. And they're just in his kitchen. So what's the, like... All right, so how...

How far gone is your bro? And like... I mean, I don't want to tell you. It seems like... Have you tried to get him into fucking... Yeah, I mean... Rehab or some shit? I don't understand why that's not an option. Right, right. Like, I mean...

If we've made peace with him being a crackhead for eternity. He's describing this serious problem like it's a Seinfeld plot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't have him knowing that I live closer to him. Why do you get him help? There's no one else. He's smoking crack, Jerry! Crack!

So, yeah, dude, I think... Now, maybe you've tried, and maybe you've made peace with the fact that your brother is a crackhead for eternity. And if that's the case, then, I mean, it's crazy. I'm thinking about what I would do if my brothers were on crack. And it's like, I would try desperately to get them into fucking rehab. And I would be like, you can't even live with me until you're off crack. Like...

So unless you want to go whole... Okay, I guess really what it comes down to is unless you and your family want to really make a concerted effort to get him off crack, which if you have done, I'm sorry for assuming you haven't, but if you haven't done, please do. That's my advice is get him off crack as much as possible. I mean, if he's still taking Ubers, he's not a full crackhead. Yeah, full crackheads, they don't even know what Uber is. Yeah, yeah.

He's kind of the middle part of the Animorph transmission transition. He looks like kind of a fleshy hedgehog. He's not full crackhead yet. He's not a person at all. He's not even a person fully either. But yeah, I would say try and get him off crack first and foremost.

And then if not, if you've just kind of given up on him, then I guess keep lying to him. If you decide that he's... If your position is he's an inhuman crack fiend, then I guess the logic there is don't tell him you moved. I would personally try and get him off crack. That's just me, though. What can I say? How many times is your advice, you should get him off crack? LAUGHTER