Bonus #45 - Live Call Show Vol. 3 [PATREON PREVIEW]
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What up, Stavi? Love the show. Thanks, pal. What's troubling you? So I'm 28. I'm engaged. I'm getting married next year. Congratulations. And it's going to be a destination wedding in Mexico for a couple days. Whole family's going to come, including my parents. Do I give them a plus one since they are divorced? And it sickens because...

I have three older siblings. And at two, the weekend surrounding two of their weddings, they hooked up. Your parents did? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

What a couple of fucking dirtbags. What the fuck? That's, I mean, that's like horrible for you, but I do respect it, honestly. I'm like, damn, these people kind of rock. They're like, we got the fucking, the daiquiris flowing. It's just like old times. Yeah.

Oh, that ain't the half of it. So what the fuck? Yeah. Their relationship now is like a lot better than it has been for a while. I would say the first nine, 10 years just hated each other. Okay. Hated each other, drug me through the mud and shit. And then, uh,

Now they're on better terms. And then on one of the occasions when my sister was getting married, we actually walked into the house and had a clear line of sight into his bedroom where they were. What?!

Whose house? Your dad's house? Yes. Oh, my God. So wait, wait, wait. You said in the events leading up to. So what are we talking about here? Was it like the day before? Was it like? Yeah, yeah. So my sister, my older sister was getting married in his backyard. I see. He's got a big house.

And my brother had rented like a party house up the street for all the young people to go after the reception and hang out. Okay. Well, we went to go tour that place. This is the night before the wedding. Okay. And we come back from touring the place, which they didn't come with us. And we walk in and their door or his door quickly slams and they come out wearing clothes that they were not wearing. Ah!

What were the vibes like before? Were they like being flirty or was it like, like what, what did you feel? What did you pick up on? That's fucking crazy. That time. That was the, uh, that was the first one. So no, no, like they were cordial, but their relationship was cordial. And like we would spend Thanksgiving and shit together, but that one was out of left field. That's crazy. So you're, you're over there touring the house. You're like, Oh, I hope they're not getting in an argument.

he's got your fucking mom pinned down that's fucking insane dude and by the way door open they that was passionate dude that was fucking they didn't even know it was coming that's insane to fuck with the door open when your kids are down the street

I kind of respect. I kind of respect. So this was the first time. So nine or 10 years, the first decade they hated each other. And then it's like there was a period of where it was just kind of like cordial for the family's sake, would you say?

Yeah, I mean, they got tired of splitting time with all of us kids and, like, you know, then having their feelings hurt if we chose one over the other. So they got along to get along. Interesting. And even tried to, like, be dating again, like, in a relationship. Interesting. That was, like, I don't know, two years ago, and that didn't work out. Yeah.

But, hey, listen, I get it. Every once in a while, you're like, look, I don't want this person in my life. There's women in my... There's girls I've dated that I'm like, if they were in my life day to day, I'd kill myself, but...

On a long weekend, maybe I get sucked off in the hot tub. We get a little room service. I could spend four days with her. I kind of see where mom and dad are coming from. I'm sorry to be so squarely on their side, but I'm kind of jealous of what they got worked out here. It's awesome. They're like, hey, look.

We hated each other 10 years. You know, what the fuck? We got it. It's like, this is who we should be. Yeah. We should be friends who fuck every once in a while. We're not getting back together. It's not going to come, but come on. Weddings are fun. And there's that thing too, dude, where it's like, like I've been in that situation where it's like, you know, you hang out with an ex and it's like,

Am I gonna fuck her? You know what I mean? Like that's a fun vibe. Cause it's like, you rarely have that will I, will they, won't they thing with someone you've already fucked. Yeah. And it's like, it's like, like I've had, like there's definitely been, there's, there's definitely like, you know, girls I've dated where I'm like, I've hung out with them once and it was just, we are just friends and there's no sexual vibe. And then we've hung out another time and it's like, I think I'm going to get pussy. Yeah.

And it's like that moment of like, am I? No, I'm being crazy. No, is she going to give me? And then you get pussy. You're like, this is fun. And it's sweeter than even completely new pussy somehow. So I don't know, man. I really anyway. Sorry to just be really sucking off your parents and being on their side. But I kind of love what they got going on here. So that's the first wedding. And do they now?

Do people – is everyone acknowledging this, or what do they say? Do they – I mean, when we walked in the door, it was me, both my sisters, and my brother. It was – Oh, my God. Yeah. That's so funny to have all your kids walk in on you. Later that night – I forgot about this. Later that night, I was sleeping there. My sister was in the other upstairs bedroom. No. And then –

I heard my mom leaving. I was already up in my room, and then she was leaving, and the door creaked open. And then the next thing you know, I hear noises down there. And then I go downstairs, and just as I get to the bottom step, I hear her say, no, get off me.

So like I barge in the room, of course, and they're both not naked. You think it's a robber. Your dad's three quarters hard. But like they're just standing there. And it was fucking weird. I think they were about to fuck. That's awesome that they're just like, all right, fuck it. They're upstairs. That's crazy. Okay. But you guys never have a conversation about it, right?

Oh, I was like, well, I was pissed because like the years previous, they've never like, it's always something. And yeah, if, if my dad is not spending enough time with her, my mom tells me about it. We're just over me and my siblings were all over the fact that they still talk about each other to us. Interesting. And that kind of thing. Okay. The second time they hooked up was my brother's wedding where in Dallas and they had,

There was another house rented and then we weren't there. They rented a house together? Yeah. No, they're not together. No, but they rented that house together? No, there was a house rented for the family, so me and my siblings and then significant others. But my mom wasn't staying there and then my dad got a different hotel room.

Yeah. Interesting. That one was more sly and not out in the open. Sure. And pretty solid suspicions. Right. So I don't want to make it a turkey and they do it for a third time at my wedding. Now let me ask you this. Why not? Hmm.

Because, I don't, it's probably just because my mom still holds on to a part, you know, part of her says they're meant for each other and wants to kind of make it fun. Oh, no. This is your dad. Oh, okay. This makes sense. I see. I see. I see. So, I thought this was like a fun, like, Diane Keaton movie where it's like, you know, a divorced couple kind of has a little fun romp and everyone knows what's good. But what's happening here is your dad with no other pussies like...

Like, I bet I could talk my ex-wife into sucking me off. Well, I mean, he does all right. After my mom, he got married and divorced two more times. No, no. I don't mean not getting other people. I mean, like, nobody else he could fuck within sight. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. That's more of the situation. I see. Wow. Okay, damn. That is, you know, that's, again...

It's really my mom. She gave me some sweat because she was saying that she's going to be alone and why doesn't she get to bring a date to this Mexico resort wedding, yada, yada. If that's the case, then yeah, give her a plus one. Easy. And then...

But then... Dude, do you think if she brought a plus one... You'll give me sweat for not giving him a plus one. So I want to say fuck it and neither of them get it, but then they'll both hook up. Exactly. So look, here's what it is. All right, you eat two fucking... You eat two plus ones...

You know what I mean? Like, fine, you're paying for two more fucking plates of filet mignon, right? Who gives a fuck? But this way your mom doesn't get fingered by your dad off a couple Johnny Walker blue labels. You know what I mean? Like, that's the cost, brother. It's either that or your mom or your dad sweet talks your mom again in a cabana. Yeah.

Mean those are your options buddy. Are they currently both like dating people who are be like, you know viable plus ones possibly My dad keeps all that pretty on the DL. He doesn't bring other girls around now We love your dad

My mom is on again, off again, dating her ex-husband that she got married to after my dad. Damn, you got a couple messy ass fucking parents here, dude. Yeah, you tell me. Here's my thing. I feel like, let's say your mom gets a plus one. Well, first of all, if she brings her second ex-husband, that's just kind of fucked up or whatever.

Is it? How's it fucked up? He's a good man. I would be okay if he came. He's too good, bro. Sorry. Your dad out there. Did your dad cheat on your mom? There's allegations. He was a dentist. Here's another kicker. He was a dentist. He's one of those dentists that squirts cum in his patients' mouths. No, no. He used to go on like

continuous education courses down in San Antonio. I live in Austin. And my mom caught him putting some bottles of wine in the car on his way to go down there to San Antonio. He couldn't hit a liquor store. After he got divorced from my mom, the first marriage was actually to his fucking hygienist. Probably with her, if anything. Come on, man. Yeah, of course she cheated. What the fuck are you talking about?

Jesus Christ you motherfucker. Oh, he just happened to marry the fucking bitch he worked with every day, huh? I'm sure I'm sure they were really respectfully waiting for that divorce to clear Okay, well look dude, it's really a matter of what you want to happen here, right? So if you like this second guy this second ex-husband, whatever the thing is you don't give him plus ones It's very possible

You they fuck again. And that seems to be the thing you want to avoid it most. Right. And listen, by the way, it's your wedding. Even if you didn't have a good reason, if you're like, you know what? It's my wedding. I don't want my parents to fuck. Great, dude. Good for you. You don't want that hanging in the back of your head during your wedding. I fully, fully understand that. So it seems like you just got to get him plus ones. There's no other way around it.

I definitely, well, if my dad gets a plus one, it's going to be some bitch I do not want in my wedding photos. Okay, well, listen, bro. You got to decide. Who do you want your dad to fuck at your wedding? Some random bitch or your mom? And those are your two options, pal. We already know your dad. Listen, if I know anything from this call, your dad's getting a nut off one way or another. That I am positive about.