Bonus #43 - Alex Pavone [PATREON PREVIEW]
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Hey Stav, um, just wanna get your advice on this. I'm gonna leave the, uh, specifics out, 'cause this is embarrassing, but, um, I've been with my girl for three years now, and, um, we just moved from a small rural town on the East Coast to a big city on the West Coast. Okay. And, uh, our first night here, uh, she went through my phone and saw that, uh, I was on Grindr talking to trans women. And...

No shit! Oh, dude, pause this. We need an electric guitar drop for something like this.

This is fucking awesome. Anyway, let's finish this. But you know what? Now this is a question. Oh, this other guy's getting voice notes. Who gives a fuck? This is a fucking question. This is why we play the game. Anyway, let's finish this before I fully comment. But yes. It's not really like...

I intended on like meeting with these ladies, but um, you know, I have a porn addiction and one thing led to another and yeah, so just wanted to get your advice on that. Okay. Thanks. This again, this is awesome. This is, there's so many incredible elements to this question. First of all, the caller who's clearly in the wrong, couldn't be more in the wrong.

Absolutely his fault in every way. It's weird number. That's another one. It's fucking strange that it's like this. So here's what happened. This man, they were living somewhere rural. Yes. The day their fucking plane touches down. I love that.

He has Grindr locked in. He's like, they don't got trans girls in fucking Omaha or wherever the fuck I'm from. I love that. I'm in San Fran, baby. Let's take a fucking look. Our first night here. I love it. Our first night here. She goes to your phone. You couldn't wait. You don't think, oh my God, dude, this is out of control.

So here's the thing. This guy's fucked. This guy's so fucked. It's fun. I almost feel bad because he doesn't know how fucking stupid he sounds. He's so dumb, dude. It's like, well, it's not a lie if you believe it. That's his situation right here. He's like, come on, man. I was never going to meet with these girls. He's like, you fucking, there's moving boxes. Your plates are fucking covered in bubble wrap and you're downloading Grindr?

The fuck are you talking about, dude? You weren't gonna... It took you 12 minutes to download the app. You don't think maybe two to three couple days later you might consider getting your dick sucked by one of these girls? Who are you fucking kidding, dude? Yeah, no shit, she's pissed at you. Imagine being this woman, dude. You're like, I can't wait to start my life in the big city with the love of my life. Like, look, we're a very open show here. We're very inclusive.

I'll, you know, shout out to trans women. We're big fans here. Shout out. Okay? That's not the problem. That's not the problem. That's not the problem at all. But from her perspective...

It's like one thing to catch your boy, like, okay, unless she knows you're into trans girls like from the beginning. But if this is also like kind of a weird, or if you're bi or something or you're into trans, like if that's established, then this is just cheating. But if you're her small town beau, and also by the way, you think she called her Republican dad and was like, you're right. The city turned Michael gay.

As soon as he started breathing that California air, he was hungry for cock. Now he's in the larval stage. It's still girls with cocks. But any day now, he's going to fully turn and want to suck guys' cocks.

This is awesome, dude. Okay, so let's just another thing about this show is we are your lawyers Okay, you can't lie to us. You can't lie to us. So don't lie to yourself Do you really think it's just porn addiction pal? Cuz you're you're right now you're in the fucking pocket immediately, dude first night

First night is crazy. What is this? I attended on like meeting with... He says I never intended on meeting with these ladies. I never intended on meeting with these ladies. That's what he's saying. So, okay. So... That's just... He's just doing it for attention. It's a thrill, whatever. I'm here to tell you that again... Like I kind of made this point earlier, but it's like... Yes, yes.

one day into moving to the city you didn't intend to meet with them. But maybe, I don't know, two months ago did you intend to download Grindr? Probably not. That's how these things go. I think you need to be honest with yourself. There's a couple things that need to happen here. This is over. Oh yeah, this is done. This is 100% done. Dude, it'd be one thing if it was like...

No, it's over. It's also like, bro, I hate to break it to you. And it's all good. You're a good guy. But you don't download Grindr and talk to trans girls because you have a porn addiction. No, you're gay. I watched a lot of porn. He's maybe not even gay. No. But there's something you're trying to explore, pal. And you're in the middle of a relationship that was serious enough

for you to move to a big city together. She'll never forget it. Forget that day. She will constantly be worried. It's over. She will constantly be worried. And by the way, she's right. Or she's made, like, like, be honest. Do you really, like, no, I'm not even saying, yeah, look into your heart and don't lie to us.

Would you like to get sucked off by a sexy trans girl? I think he definitely does, 100%. He has intentions to meet up with these women. Even if he doesn't, if that's something you want, and you're in a relationship with a cis woman, whatever, or you haven't had that experience, or maybe he has, I don't know. I guess I am taking for granted that this is something he just did because he had access to trans women for the first time in a big city. Yeah.

But either way, let's say this is something you used to be into. She knows this about you.

Your cut this is cheating you're cheating on your girlfriend. It's yeah, it's like cheating It's not the most extreme form of cheating, but it's cheating and so yeah She's pissed and there's two things you there's two paths right make it right you claim you have porn addiction go get counseling Yeah, go get that's if you really think it's a sex addiction porn addiction thing and you really want to make this work That's fine, but we also don't know how old you are and

How many relationships you've been in. You know, my hunch is small rural town. You're a relatively young guy. Yeah. You move to the, you know, you're in a relationship and you like this girl. I'm not saying you don't like your current girlfriend, but feels like you got some exploring to do. I think so too. I think so too. That's what it feels like to me. Even if it's not Grindr, even if it's Tinder or Bumble, you're still...

That's already cheating. Let it be grind. Yeah, it's cheating. You're being dishonest to the person that you love. This happens to be hysterical. It is funny as shit. It is, again, day one. Day one. So awesome. Unbelievable. You haven't returned the U-Haul yet. You're in the U-Haul parking lot waiting to return it. You're fucking using data to download Grindr. You don't even got Wi-Fi.

I mean, come on, bro. That's nuts, dude. That's nuts. So anyway, so those are your two ops. It's really, it does, it is a little simple. It's like, do everything you need to do to make this work. You know, you seem pretty young. I don't know if that's even worth, if the juice is worth the squeeze. Or be honest with yourself and think, even if you, let's say, dude, because if you were single, if you were single, this is not a problem.

It's a problem because you're in a fucking relationship. Yeah, you're dishonest and you're not being honest with the person who you moved to the big city with. The big west coast city. So I do wish we had a little more, but I get why you don't want to tell us too much more about men. I get it too, for sure. I mean, this is also a guy who, his affect is so like,

He's like, oh, no, everything's fine. This is like a guy... You're playing the violin on the Titanic. Not even that. You're sitting down for a nice meal on the Titanic as it's going down. You're the guy on floor 100 of the World Trade Center microwaving a fucking breakfast burrito right now. I want to know...

Off the hop, I'm going to leave the specifics out because it's embarrassing. I guess which city, how old they are, that stuff. That specifics? This is embarrassing and he doesn't want it to be traced back to him. Okay, okay, okay. I thought there was more embarrassing stuff. That would be awesome. But I don't think that's the case. No, I think you're right, Sammy. So anyway. I think he's got some soul searching to do. Yeah. Either way, you have some soul searching and be honest with yourself. Correct.

If you do want to make this work, and you really believe you have a porn addiction, go to counseling for it, go to a specialist for it, talk it through. And maybe through that you'll figure out some stuff about yourself. But I do think you've got to be a little honest to yourself. Like, do I want this? Like, listen, I'll get sucked off by a trans girl, no problem. I've never gone on Grindr. I've never been in a loving relationship before.

Gone on Grindr the day I was in a city with them, right? That's wild, dude. It's more of a like, hey, if it happens, you know, that'd be awesome. I've never risked at all. First day, dude? You've been dreaming about this. Dude, he's been jacking off. You were in the cornfields of Iowa. I know, I know.

Looking at a big old corn stalk. I know. Wishing. Being like, man. It was trans cock. Yep. And you're like, one day it will be. One day. One day I will be in Silicon Valley. One day I'll be poofing on the donger. Yep. One day my app's going to go public.

I'm going to use the money to get a fucking penthouse. My Apple Home Public. Oh, dude. This is awesome. This guy's a good kid, but my God, dude. You're a good guy, but you do need to figure some stuff out about yourself. Yeah.