Bonus #27 - Sam Morril [PATREON PREVIEW]
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Have you ever had a concussion or anything like that? Have you ever? Yeah, well I had it. It happened in Vermont. I've had it twice. Oh fuck, that's right. First time it happened, my school, we were such a bad basketball team that we would scrimmage against...

Like this was we'd have games like exhibition games that just didn't count. Yeah, we played the school in Queens and they they were just a deaf school Like okay, we get it you can't hear the whistle, but you gotta stop when we stop This is supposed to be in like good spirits here. Yeah, and I

I got cocky. I went up for a dunk on one of them. And I can't really jump, but I'm dunking. He was like, not in my house. LAUGHTER

I went up for a dunk. One of the deaf kids just grabs my arm here and just yanks it down flat out of my head. I remember my coach like cradled me out. It was like the one game my mom didn't come to too. I was like, thank God she didn't see that. So that was one and it was, yeah, it just sucked. It just didn't feel good, whatever. And then the second time was I was in Vermont in a bar and a

I was Carmen Legalla was opening the show yes I remember when this happened she's from there and she yeah she said let's go to this bar it's really cool and I was like alright whatever and Burlington's cute it's nice I love Burlington I'll be back there I love going there you were just there I was that Turkish spot

Incredible. Fucking amazing. Really good. Great food. I just had that fucked up little yogurt drink too, didn't you, pal? No, I didn't get that. Oh, you didn't. Those are nice, though. Yeah. Well, they also... The Penny Clues I was trying to get you, that was a Gary Veeder recommendation. Penny Clues, yeah, yeah, yeah. But we...

Yeah, I was in a bar and some we were just having fun. Some guy just walked up to me and I just said he goes University of Vermont and I was like no and he goes he goes master's degree and I go you're getting colder. Yeah. And he goes I should beat the shit out of you and like he said I should beat the shit out of all of you but he's just like looking at me and I was like, oh, all right. So I like turned around just ignored him. Yeah, guys just nuts. And as I turn around just takes his pint glass and smashes it over my head and

And it wasn't like a bottle. It was like his hands got bloody too. It wasn't a breakaway bottle from Roadhouse. It was like a full fucking pint glass. Yeah, and I was like, fuck. I'm like, thank God I have a Jufro at the time. It was like out. That was like protection, you know? But he hit me good, and I stood up. I remember sitting there, I stood up, and the other guy stood up, and he just stared at us, and then he ran away. And as he runs away...

I really did yell this out. I say this and I do a joke about this, but I actually did say, you all heard him call me Jew boy before he did it. Which one guy is like, I didn't hear it. I was like, fuck you. Let's make it a hate crime. I love the guy fact checking. He's like, I'm on his side. Hold on a second. But he's runs away. And what really happened was he, uh, I guess they called the cops and the cops show up and,

And the cops, he went for one of the cops guns. No! But he's a white guy so they didn't do shit. What? And he's- He tried to grab

grab the cop's gun. Apparently, I found out later because they had like a victim's advocate call me and they're like, do you want to sue? And I was like, do I have to go back? And they're like, yeah. I was like, no, I don't want to. First, I don't want to deal with this at all. And they're like, yeah, but the woman, she was pretty funny on the phone. She was like, well, he was a therapist. No. And I was like, this is what, this is the problem with Vermont. This is what you get. You either get like a Bernie Sanders type or you get like a Woods Hick crazy dude who has a gun on him. He's a therapist? He's a therapist and I guess his wife,

asked him for a divorce and he was so depressed he got blackout drunk and was trying to attempt suicide by cop. So that was what happened. And

I was trying to be funny about it at the time. So I'm with the cops and I'm doing like Instagram stories with them. Like, oh, two more shows at Vermont Comedy Club. And it was like, they're like picking glass out of my hair when it's happening. And my mom saw the Instagram story and she's like, what the fuck happened? I'm like, well, you got blocked on Instagram stories. Yeah, after that, you lost your privileges. I can't have you, you know, worrying about my comedy content. I need to plug some dates here. Yeah.