Bonus #26 - JP McDade [PATREON PREVIEW]
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All right.

I'm straight, don't care. I'm straight, don't care. That's another part of the tour that we didn't talk about. We wrote a film. We wrote a film. Well, yeah, there's two films. There's Straight Shrek. Straight Shrek has been in the works for a long time. We've been playing around with Straight Shrek for most of the tour. JP, do you have an extra 45 just to break this idea down for the people? I can push. I'm straight, don't care. I'm straight, don't care. Shut your ass up, straight Shrek.

Come over here and suck this donkey dick. I like pussy donkey. No donkey, I don't want to suck your cock anymore. You're forcing me to suck your cock for all these years. I put this donkey dick in your ass, Shrek. So baby, the long and the short of it is that straight Shrek has been getting raped by the donkey.

He's being coerced by the donkey into gay sex for, I guess, years. That's kind of the spell. You can put a magical element onto it if you want. If you need to. Kind of gritty and real. A gritty reboot of Shrek where he's straight, but he's getting raped by the donkey. But we had the spinoff of straight Shrek. Well, but let me just before we get to that. And so basically he begs the donkey to let him get pussy.

and prove he's straight. He goes on a rumspring of sorts. Yeah, it's kind of like a road movie. Right, but it starts, he gets raped by the donkey a couple times to set the world up. That's a world you're in. There's a lot of world building. But then we thought, well, it might be hard to get straight. It might be hard to get the rights for Shrek. So we thought maybe... We consulted with our legal team. Maybe we should do an alternate version and his name would be Eric Shrek.

And he's either straight Eric or maybe even bisexual Eric. I think we landed on bisexual Eric. Bisexual Eric. He still talks like Shrek. And the IP of donkey was kind of questionable. So we didn't want to do donkey. So the hunch, bisexual Eric and the mule. The mule. The mule instead of donkey, we'd have the mule. And that would be Chris Tucker. Yeah. Instead of Eddie Murphy. But straight Eric, I'm sorry, bi Eric would still be, he would still, I'm bisexual mule.

I don't want, but he's still kind of the same thing. Yeah. Just because I'm bi doesn't mean I want to have gay sex all the time. It's not clear because he kind of has the ideal situation. Like why he would want to change for him

I'm a Christian, Mule. I'm a Christian. Yeah, I guess we got to think that through. Cure me from being bisexual. I don't think he's trying to get cured. I just think he wants pussy. Just to see what it's like. Yeah, he's bi, but he's never fucked a woman, maybe. And Eric, you guys keep saying Mule. That's Eric's voice.

Eric is like, I'm bisexual. I've never had pussy. I'm only bisexual in theory. Mule, I don't want to have gay sex with you anymore. I've never put it into practice. So yeah, it's a really rich man. I ain't a donkey, man. I'm a mule. I'm the mule, baby. I'm the mule. You gotta get out there and get some pussy, man.

So yeah, we got a lot of stuff we were working on during the... A lot of exciting projects in the works, guys. We're on tour, but we're also... We're doing stand-up, but we're also writing the movie, which straight Shrek. I'm still holding out hope we'll get Shrek. I think Pixar will love that. I think that was DreamWorks. Mike Myers is attached. Yeah, oh yeah. Attached to my fucking balls.