#53 - Sam Morril
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Welcome everybody to Stabby's World, an incredibly special episode, our one year anniversary with the first guest we ever had, Sam Rose, coming up right now. But before that, we just want to tell you about some incredibly, incredibly exciting stuff we got going on here. Biggest thing of all, tomorrow, Fat Rascal, the special, comes out on Netflix. Please, please watch it. We worked really hard on it. I think you're going to really like it. And if you also...

It's the holiday season. You're looking for stocking stuffers, okay? You need a stocking stuffer? We got two of the best for you. The calendar is out. The 2024 Stavi Baby Erotic Nude Calendar. Tasteful nudes out right now. Go to stavi.biz. Get you a calendar. Give it to your mom. Give it to your dad. Give it to anybody that needs to keep track of their days and wants to see my ass cheeks.

That's out there. And look, we got Ronnie t-shirts, baby. You want to support Baltimore's favorite son, Ronnie, the Baltimore Ravens super fan, whose videos people keep watching and won't stop, and they're so successful, I probably won't be able to ever stop them, even though, you know, I feel like I kind of done the character. You kind of get the fucking joke. But all right, hey, you keep watching, I'll keep doing. Put your money where your mouth is and buy the t-shirt. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

You like it so much I got to watch every Sunday and I'm kind of worried about what I'm going to say. I can't just enjoy my favorite team anymore. Now I've even turned that into work. Let me get a couple dollars out of it, huh? What do you say, folks? So go to Stafi Tapiz, buy the calendar, buy the Ronnie shirt, and...

Watch the special, most importantly. And right now, please enjoy this episode. It's so fun. Sam's the man. He's the man. One of my favorite guys in the entire world. And here we go. One year anniversary. Thank you so much. We did it, folks. One year of Stavi's World. Here's to, I don't know, hopefully forever.

That's right, forever. And actually, most importantly, even more importantly than our special, I want to tell you, I want to remind you what to do with your ass when you shit. That's right. We want to thank our sponsor, Tushy. And Hello Tushy is offering our listeners an exclusive limited time offer of 15% off your first bidet order today.

Welcome everybody to Stavi's World 904-800-STAV.

It's been a year. Can you believe it? The year anniversary. We're here. Flew by. Me and Sam have been sitting in these chairs for one year. You were our first guest. Episode one, episode whatever the hell this is. I just want to be at 52. How many weeks in a year? It should be the math. We did no weeks off, folks. Do we mail them in sometimes? Yeah, but you're getting something. Oh, I saw those. Yeah.

I was like, that guest. Yeah, that guy on? He stinks. Well, if that happens, somebody canceled and the other guy was very available. The pushy, I'm available. You're like, I know. We know you're available. We know it.

It's a new dawn. It's a new day here in Stavi's world. Now, could we have done something with the set? Maybe changed literally anything? Maybe. But the set stays. Maybe another year. Who knows? Until I get you down to the village, man. I know, dude. Sam is trying to get me to be a city boy. I just want you in the hood, man. It would be nice. I have... So I did...

I was going to go on a tour right after. So, oh, and another big news. My special comes out tomorrow on Netflix. I mean, you know, tomorrow in terms of when people see it. No, you sent me a corrupted file. So I watched it. You were like, let me get your take on this. And I was like, I want to watch it. You're one of the only comics whose special I will actually watch. I really appreciate that, man. I love your comedy. Thank you, thank you. As you know. Yeah. I'm pretty fond of you as a person as well. Of course. But I'm watching it and I'm like...

Killer. I love it. And it's a corrupted file you sent me. And I'm like, well, send me the uncorrupted one so I could see the end of the special. And you're like, I'll get on it. I know you're never going to send it. So I have to wait. I have to wait like the rest of the people.

No, you'll get it. I knew you would. You'll get it. You know what? That shows what a good friend you are. Because I was just asking about the first 10 minutes because I wanted to fix an audio issue. But it turns out I was just being crazy. You know when it's like your special and you're just like, I want it to be perfect. Everybody I showed it to was like, what are you talking about? Looks great, too. Thank you. I appreciate it. Paramount Theater, Austin. Paramount in Austin. Fat Rascal. Tomorrow, folks.

Netflix is doing a new thing where, you know, everybody steals Netflix. They started logging people out. So what I need you to do right now is talk to whoever's Netflix you have and ask them to check their email. Click, yes, I am traveling.

Because that's the only loophole around it. Because I have my brothers, which is hilarious. I know. I should buy my own Netflix. I actually use my dad's still. Dude, it's going to come up. I know. It's going to come up. I pay for all the other ones, but I use... That's the one my dad just has had. Yeah, exactly. So anyway, make sure you got your shit in order. Fat Rascal, let's take it to the top charts.

Let's make it beat whatever, I don't know, Ryan Reynolds movie about reconnecting with his father or whatever fucking bullshit. We get it. They're mean and now they're nice. We get the point. Whatever other bullshit is on Netflix, watch my bullshit instead. I got a lot riding on this.

So this is a big week in Stavi's world. We got the special tomorrow. We got the year anniversary. We got our best pal, Sammy the Bull, in the fucking studio, in the flesh. Thanks for coming, man. It took me... I got on the wrong train twice. You're the only person I come to Astoria for. Yes, thank you. And I'm not cabin here in rush hour. Are you kidding me? I know. It is embarrassing. You're the most...

Born in New York person possible and you got on two wrong trains to Queens Why I'm using old New York things where I got on the queue for getting the queue goes to the Upper East Side Yeah, yeah, no one else is gonna get no, they'll love it But there's like there's like ten nerds who like are dreaming of moving to New York They're like all the queue you go some of the upper east because that was me ten years ago listening to podcasts when they would talk about Trains, I'd be like wow

Wow, the New York City subway. When I was like, if the year, like the year 2000, let's say, when we graduate, 11, 12?

So 12. I have my first day job and I'm just listening to... It's funny because a lot of the podcasts I listen to are people that I am now friends with. I was a big YKWD guy. That was a big one. Before I even opened for... Or actually, maybe I was part-time opening for Bobby, but I was still a big YKWD guy. And I'm just sitting there and just listening to List and Bobby, literally two of my best friends. I remember going on there and being like, why did you book five other people? Yeah.

I'm like, this is supposed to be an opportunity for me. And they'd be like, we booked every comic. Yeah. My favorite thing Bobby would do is he was such an egalitarian that if he told some open mic-er, he could do the podcast. And then there was one time where he surprised Last Minute got Burr on. And it was like Bill Burr. And then it was like Tim Dillon's roommate did Bringers. And it was like...

It was like you couldn't have. And the guy was like speaking up. Like he didn't know to just be like, all right, I'm going to use this as a credit and I'm going to shut the fuck up. He didn't know to be intimidated by Bill Burr. He was like getting in the conversation. It was so fucking funny. Bobby's the man, dude. It's getting like that time of year where like I like this time of year. I love this time of year in New York. But you're starting to see the coughs and you're like, fuck.

wet coughs on the train. The guy not even fucking, just an old sickly looking guy. He's like, I'm like, that's fucking nice. Dude, it's fucking brutal. Rona's back. Rona's back. I had it. Eldest never got tested, but he couldn't taste or smell. I think I'm one of those now too. I think I'm just like, I'm done testing. I lost my taste and smell and he fucking had it. Literally, I wouldn't have gotten tested, but I just had

Like I had leftover like a stockpile of tests and I just woke up and I was like I feel like dog shit and I just took it and I was like oh I guess I have it and he's he was come we're in a car driving in a lot You know car windows up just talking to eldest for four hours driving up to New York So it's like I definitely got it from that motherfucker. I

But, you know. The person who just, like, refuses to admit they're sick, too. You know, the guy who comes in, he's like, it's allergies. Literally was eldest. You look like a ghost. 100%. You look very ill. 100%. Eldest to a T. It was in Baltimore, too. We got it in Baltimore. So he's, like, hugging all our family members. He's, like, kissing my sickly grandmother. I'm playing with our friend's baby. He's just, like, lifting a baby up in the air. And it's...

Took zero precautions. Didn't give a fuck. Luckily, not going to a nursing home just to say hi. Yeah. It's uncharacteristically nice while having undiagnosed and being like, I can't smell anything.

Just an old lady across the street and carried her groceries upstairs. No, come inside and breathe on you. But anyway, but yeah, dude, I know it is. There is a magical, we're past it now. Again, this, the date is December 5th and now in December 5th or 4th, whatever the fuck day it is. And yeah,

New York is magical in October. It's magical. I love in December too, though. Yeah, I mean, it is. Once you just make peace with the cold, but October's nice because it's like...

You get crisp fall days, and then you get the random just nice days. Just shorts in the middle of the fall. It's so... I mean, the best fall in the world. I love it so much. Wear a light jacket. You don't even need to wear it. It's like the only time you get to be fashionable as a man. Yes, yes, yes, yes. It's kind of nice. A little jacket, a little accessory. I got myself a little... Now, you're not...

penned in by the confines of what DXL has to offer, Sam, the big and tall store. But I got myself a nice little 3XL Brooks Brothers light jacket that you'll be seeing around town. It's tough because you can really only dress like... If you go to a big and tall store, your options are like Big J or like lawyer on vacation.

That's really it. They have huge jorts. You have huge jorts or you have fucking cheating on my... What was the dad? They have a muumuu too, but they have like... What was the dad in Succession? You could dress like him or you could dress like Big J.

Logan? Logan Roy, yeah, yeah. A lot of sweaters. It's nice. It's a nice look. But those are your two. Corporate Stavi would be a fun trend. Yeah, yeah. Mix it up a little. Oh, dude, when I... Back in that, again, that era, the 2011, listening to pods, working my day job. Dude, I was...

First of all, I was fat as shit. Like, actually probably as fat as I am now. But the fattest I ever was, which is now in 2011. And I was wearing... Come down, come to the village and we'll fucking... Dude, no, we're going to be good. We'll go to yoga, we'll go to... I love it. I got a personal trainer. She wants to see you. All right, all right. She's good, man. We'll get in there. But dude, I was wearing like just the most... Like, all my clothes were like... They were supposed to look like...

but they fully had an elastic waistband. And they had buttons for show. They had show buttons. Why do those khakis say champion on them? What the hell is going on? Dude, the way I dress and the way a baby at a wedding dresses was exactly the same. It's just little buttons so your mom thinks you're cute. It was me wearing little buttons so my boss didn't know I'm wearing glorified sweatpants. It was like costume...

costume like pants it was fucking crazy that's the tough thing because you gain weight you really get to dress for comfort yes you got it I mean listen I was comfortable and right now I'm always comfy track suits track suits Hawaiian shirts you know what I'm saying I just went to Phoenix and Matt Coleman who does that club was like I got Stavi uh

two tracksuits as a gift. You got me some tracksuits. Yeah. That's part of your personality. Yeah, yeah. People know to get me tracksuits. Leisurely. I'm leisurely, dude. And then, look, there's something to live in life leisurely, but, you know, I would like a couple more options, but that's why... We'll get you healthy in the village, man. Yeah, well, I did, I did put, I was going to go on a big tour after the special, but I'm just going crazy, so I'm pushing back

Sorry, folks. I was going to hit the road starting in February. And I have the makeup shows because the Detroit Grand Rapids, we're making those up. And also Dallas. Detroit and Grand Rapids, I got COVID, obviously. And then Dallas, look...

It's time I came clean. It was the day after my special, and I would rather do mushrooms and watch heat than the show in Dallas. That's why I canceled that show. Every other show has been a legitimate reason, but Dallas, me and Eldis were like, we're going to go straight from filming the special to fucking Dallas? Why would you book a gig after a special? I didn't know. It was one of those things where... Oh, you filmed the special as you went. I filmed the special. This tour was going, and I was like...

I want to film this now. I'm feeling hot. And then I looked at the calendar. Ooh, Austin, perfect. Where I had Dallas right after. And I was like, I'm not going to work after a special. When did you decide to cancel it? Oof. It was a little too close. Look, I'm coming clean. I'm a man of honor. I could have lied to you about this.

But yeah, it was like, it was like, wait, like, to my defense, I told my agents earlier, but I think they were like trying to figure out a date. You know how it'll be. Stop sick. Yeah, literally. It's like, oh, sorry, something. I don't think I even gave them the dignity of a real excuse. It was just like something came up and I was fully doing mushrooms today.

I rented a sick Airbnb in Austin. We were grilling. We were doing mushrooms, and then we watched Heat. That was the way we celebrated the special. It's a great movie. Yeah. Fucking Michael Manchick. An absolute banger. An absolute banger. Yeah, I'm trying to think if I've ever canceled a gig. To do mushrooms? Never. No, never. We got to get you to do that. I've been pretty fucking hungover and still powered through, but I have done the IV. We've done it together. Oh, of course. Well, I'm an IV champion.

I'm constantly doing IVs on the road. But you feel awesome. You feel fucking good. You feel sick. We did it at Norman's wedding. I know. That was fucking great. Another time I did mushrooms.

That's right. Kind of by accident. That's like... I like getting drunk at weddings, though. Well, dude, it was so fucking weird because I was like... I was being so... I was on a sober kick because it was... That was before the special, I recall. That was... When did Norma get married? November? November or some shit. Yeah, it was a long time ago. Whatever. Fuck Mark. I was just being sober for whatever reason. I don't remember what it was. I think maybe it was...

I think it was just the tour. For the tour, yeah. Because when I wasn't sober, I was getting even fatter and more unhealthy. And I was like, all right, if I'm at least sober, I won't go crazy. It's tough. And then in my head, I was just getting jealous of everyone getting fucked up at the wedding. And I was like, mushrooms, it's

it's not as bad. I don't know what the fuck math I was doing. And then as soon as I did Mushrooms, I was like, why don't I just also get fucked up? And so it completely defeated the purpose. And I just got fucked up later than everyone else. I took Mushrooms. I was fucking... And also, New Orleans, bad place to do Mushrooms.

The vibes are fucked. Everything's haunted. Yeah. You're like, there's a little fucking... I've never done mushrooms, but that seems... There's a little ghost around the corner. Every hotel's haunted there. Dude. Every hotel's like, we have ghosts. I'm like, that's fucking weird. It's so weird. You say it like it's normal. They're like, we have a ghost. And you're like, you're at Holiday Inn. You're not even at a cool hotel. Yeah, dude. What kind of lame ghost haunts a fucking West Western? Yeah.

Some fucking shitty ass ghost. Yeah, the ghost having the most fucked up turkey sausage in the morning. Hope you guys are enjoying your free breakfast. The yogurt is warm now. You wanted a yogurt, but it's room temperature.

Yeah, dude, it's so haunted there that Mark, who is really not a superstitious guy in most ways, is just like, oh, yeah, there's ghosts here. And he says it like it's just purely fact. Do you believe in ghosts? Dude, being in New Orleans kind of makes me be like, something's fucked up here. Some spirits. Have you ever encountered a spirit?

Not that I know of, but like, because you think that, but then it's just like the light flickering and they're like, there was a, there was a beat. You're like, you just replaced the bulb though. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Although there are some homes where they're like, there was a murder here and you're like, well, just don't move into that home. Yeah. Yeah. Demolish the home. Unless you get a good deal. That's New York real estate. I'm like, a family of seven was murdered and you're like, maybe it's like 3,500 a month. That's pretty good. You'll knock off six, you'll knock off 600. Yeah.

Because a woman met her brutal end in this bathtub. They never found the murderer, but he's probably not going to come back. Yeah.

That would be a pretty arrogant murderer to go back to the scene of the crime. Oh, they do that? Oh, that's a classic thing they do. Yeah, that's true. New York is so about deals that it cancels out ghosts, whereas in New Orleans, everyone is just so about the vibe and how we're too frugal here to worry about ghosts. I just don't think ghosts, maybe outside of the city, but what ghost is going to hang in a studio? Yeah.

The scary footage is off the haunt. You would just be in the room the whole time. You can't surprise anyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ooh, I'm turning a hot plate on and off. You're right. You need a mansion. You want a chandelier to go by really fast and let it go, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.

You know, make that little noise. Yeah, there's nothing you can really do. You need space as a ghost. Like, you know, our friend Rachel lives in Maspeth, New York, and that's a huge home. And she thinks it's haunted. Interesting. And she said that the last person she got the home from, she goes, hey, we have this weird feeling. And the person went back, I've been waiting for you to tell me.

Wow. And she thinks it's absolutely haunted because her brother died in like a DUI or something. Ah, well that's not really. And ever since then. Yeah, that's not really. Her brother fucking, her brother hit a tree because he had one too many Negronis. A ghost doesn't really catch a cab to a home. His brother, his brother.

He's probably haunting a stretch of the BQE. If we're being honest, he's probably the Exxon. I should have called an Uber. I thought I was just buzzed. I forgot about the pain pills I had taken earlier and they really kicked in.

on the highway. I did a benefit once and it was, you ever just do a benefit and they're just like, it's for a really good charity and you're like, yeah, fine, whatever. I just didn't even look at the charity and I'm like five minutes and eating shit and I'm like, why am I bombing so hard? I open with a joke about drinking on muscle relaxers. Oh no. And I'm like, well, this joke usually works. I get off stage and I was like, what the hell was that? And they're like, he died of mixing alcohol and pills. And I was like, ah.

Oh, my God. The absolute one joke you shouldn't have done. I opened with it. That's fucking... I couldn't bounce back. Yeah, of course not. They think you're taunting them. Well, also, that feeling you get at least when you do a benefit, where you're like, well, at least it didn't go great, but I did a benefit. Yeah, I ruined their night. Yeah.

I sucked. I felt horrible. You bombed and you reminded them of the tragedy that they were there all trying to overcome with something positive. They're like, well, he'll never be back. And we're all sad about it. Who's next in the lineup? Artie Lang. Fuck, this is going to be a long night. Yeah. Let's hire Artie to do a benefit for nose reconstruction surgery. Yeah.

I think that was my opener in Buffalo. I was like, man, I was on Tinder here. All the women here look like Artie Lang. They were like, it's true. I'm trying to think. Have I ever gotten slurped off in Buffalo?

Last time, I don't think I did, right? We were in and out, weren't we, Eldis? I don't think so. Let me check the fuck record. Yeah. Eldis has hilariously heard me get my dick sucked a couple times on this tour. Because my thinking was literally like, look, I'm going to get an Airbnb. I'm going to go to bed early with the boys. I'm not going to stay out trying to get pussy. Cut to a couple times. I'm like, all right, Eldis, let's go.

lights off in your room act like you're not here that's the worst i remember i used to live in a dude it's funny because it's like i've recreated having roommates it's like it's like i have this i'm like these women have some fantasy of like wow i'm fucking the the star and then it's like and then it's like hey quiet my roomie's trying to sleep my buddy eldest is in the other

Could you do the Airbnb on the road? Yeah, sometimes I do. That's fucking crazy, man. As a single dude who's hooking up constantly, it's like you are doing this to yourself. I know. I used to have a roommate, and we lived in a one-bedroom in Midtown. It was like, I just want to be in the city, but it was too expensive. So I was like, well, we'll just fucking build a wall. We put a wall up. I know about it. I had a wall over here. Yeah, and it was not...

It was not smart for when one of us hooked up, you just heard the whole... Oh. It sucked. Dude, we had that going where we had a roommate, and he, by the end, he was so checked out. We won't say his name. You know him. But we had a roommate in here, and by the end, he was so fed up with just living, which, you know, it's not the way a human being lives, right? No, of course not. And shortly, like a month before he moved out, you know, he used to, like, he would hook up at night, everybody's sleeping, or everyone's gone, whatever, during the day. Dude, he just started...

Fucking out there Like in the living room But there's There's like Walls And it would just be like 9am in the morning Eldest And then what's funny is Eldest doesn't give a fuck Like normally It would be like That'd be like a cold war Where people are like Can you believe it This motherfucker

Eldest would be making a fucking omelet watching Miami Vice. That was... Because they used to play Miami Vice like 9 a.m. on Vice, right? Yeah, yeah. And Eldest's little ritual was make an omelet and watch Miami Vice before work. And our roommate is just in there...

Oh, my God. I know who this is. Yeah. That's also not on me. That's on him. It's like, okay, man. You don't fuck in the common area. 1030, 11 p.m. I'll be respectful. I'll go to my fucking room. But 9 a.m., I got to go to work. I got to get this breakfast off. You know what I mean?

You know, he's the one fucking that the crack is on. I don't think it's on anyone, to be honest. No, just humans aren't meant to live this way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had so many roommates at once in this city, and it's like, it's exhausting. You're just like, you're not supposed to... I've done the four in the two-bedroom. Oh, yeah. But you put the walls up, and they're not even real walls. They're not. They're cardboard. There's a little space for sunlight, but there's also, guess what? You can hear someone get fingered through that space as well. And you can look, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'm on Elvis' shoulders.

It's like a bathroom stall. Snacking on a piece of bacon on a step stall. I remember I had one Craigslist rando in Brooklyn and he was like, he was so, he had such anger problems. Oh my God. And it was hilarious. I guess he had a girl he was dating and he was just like, listen you fucking bitch. It'd be like 7 a.m. And I would wake up to him being like, balls in your court, babe. Balls in your court. I'd be like, Jesus Christ. This guy's fucking unhinged.

But you're like, I was like scared to rattle him because I was like, this guy's, and then he would like hit pans. He'd be like angry. I'd be like, it's like 7 a.m., dude. Dude, I know. I mean, I've been that piece of shit anger problem roommate. We all have. But like, but I know, I know how it goes where one time in college, my friend was literally letting me use his printer and it wasn't printing and I was running late for like, I had to turn it in and I'm literally just like, fuck you, you piece of shit. I'm like,

And then he comes in and he's like, were you just hitting my printer? I was like, no. The printer is fucked up. He heard me do it and it's not printing. And I was like, no. Anyway, I gotta go. I gotta go to the library to print out my paper.

Just lying to his face with irrefutable proof. He heard me go, fuck you. And I'm like, you fucking piece of shit. You have a great bit in your new special. I won't give it away, but where you do, where you're screaming at that woman. I'm losing it. And then it kind of revealed that you're the asshole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that because it's like not a lot of comics are like, I was wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You don't see a lot of the comics where you're like, here's the thing my girlfriend said that actually made sense. Right. And then I have the problem. She's like, she's a crazy bitch, myself included. I do it too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's rare to hear people own up to their shit. Oh, dude. I mean, I'm much better about it now. But yeah, I have anger problems where you catch that.

My dad had an over-the-top anger problem. And I think you just can't help but pick that shit up. You're like, oh, this is how a man deals with emotions. Like when you're a fucking baby, you're like, oh, okay, I see. When you pull through the fucking door, yeah. When you have a minor disagreement with your wife, it's time to throw the VCR out the window. You're like, hmm, okay. Like other people are like...

Like, those are my lessons. Like, other kids were watching, like, Barney. I'm watching my dad just fucking... Fucking... A couple VHS tapes straight from Greece, but... No, it's awful. And you realize we all do this for a reason. Like, I mean, you just, like, weren't heard or you watched something that you shouldn't... And, like, I had good parents, and I still... But every parent fucks up. Oh, yeah. I brought my mom to the comedy cellar recently. Huge mistake. I don't know what I was thinking. Yeah. Of course...

Am I going to get a good crowd? Of course not. Of course I don't. A drunk woman's talking my entire set on the left side of the room. My mom's on the right. My mom's older. Her hearing's not great. She doesn't hear a woman interrupting my, and I'm in the middle of a long story. So I have to just kind of power through. Oh, I hate that. And I get the payoff. I hit it, whatever, I'm out. And then I'm like, you're going to talk the whole show? And the manager goes over to like shush her. And then I kind of zing her a few times, whatever. I get off stage. The first thing my mom says to me as we're walking out, you're so mean.

You're mean. I'm just like, the manager Val hears it. She walks over and she's like, he handled it very well. It's actually what you have to. And my mom's like, I just think you're mean. It was rude, Samuel. My mom is siding with a drunk heckler over her son. That's revealing in some way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a liar. You're wrong. Yeah, yeah.

I remember I might have even told this story in the pod, but I got assaulted in fucking Vermont. A person broke a pint glass over my head. And I remember when my mom heard about it, my uncle was like, there's no way he didn't provoke it. There's no way. I was like, I really did. There's no way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not the uncle you met, my other uncle. Oh, he's the man. Rob is cool. Dude, shout out to Uncle Rob. That guy fucking rules. No, I just met one of my uncles. Yeah.

We got it in, dude. We were drinking brewskis and magoobies with Uncle Rob, dude.

We were getting fucked up there and D.C. I've hung out with Rob a couple times, dude. Rob's a good dude. Yeah, we're close. He's very similar to me in a lot of ways. Yeah, he looks just like him. Yeah, he's the man. Shout out to Uncle Rob. Bring him to the... Yeah, if he's around, bring him to... Dude, fuck. I should have got him... Rob some tickets while I was in Baltimore. I bet he would have come, yeah. Fuck, dude. Damn, I should have thought of that. That's all right. Next time.

Dude, that's so, yeah, that is so funny. Also, though, from what I know about your mom, it doesn't seem like just any comedy club is her environment anyway. No, no, I don't think so. You know what I mean? Yeah, your mom's like, well, your mom's like an artist, right? Yeah. Yeah, your mom's like a Manhattan lady. Artist. Artist. Yeah, she's not. High society, not high society, but like high class. Is David Sedaris performing tonight? Yeah.

Oh, yeah, your mom's a person who loves humorists. My mom wishes I, like, it's not impressive that I fucking, you know, Netflix special, none of that. She's like, do you think you get in shouts and murmurs in the New Yorker? That's the peak of comedy. The funniest thing in the world to your mom is like a gay man rightly raising his eyebrow. Hmm.

Yeah, not going to work. Yeah, that's so funny. So what I do want to hear... Go ahead. I was going to say, of course, after she left and I was like, I go on at the Village Underground. It's like the hottest crowd ever. I'm like, of course. Yes. Of course you couldn't give me this universe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it is always like...

I do think... My hypothesis on artists is like... You have one nurturing parent... And one parent that you're always trying to prove it to... On some level. You know what I mean? Maybe. Like, I do think there's a little bit of that. But, you know... I was just curious. I want to hear more about all these fucking bullshit roommate situations. Because it is funny to think about... Because, like... Yeah, because you grew up here. Yeah. So it's like most people have that experience of like... You move to New York and you know...

All right, well, I know I'm going to have bullshit living situations. It's funny to go from like a nice apartment with your family, like growing up somewhere nice. I know. And then having to be like, I've never thought about that. You have to slum it and you just move like. Well, you're young, so you just expect it to slum it a little. I guess because you go from, you went from home to you go to college, right? Yeah. And so, and you're, oh, that's Tulane Sammy, right? Yeah.

Yeah, you're in the room with one other dude. Your bed's next to each other. New Orleans. I had the worst roommate there. I hated him. All right, let's do it. The Samuel Roommate Saga, starting in college. I hated him. He was...

So, okay, he... I could tell it would be a problem. What's the reason you went to Lanington? It was something funny, right? It was like you couldn't get it. You just wanted to go to a party school or what was it? I think I was like, well, this is a... It'll be good for me to leave. I was so New York. Right, right, right. And of course I leave and I'm like, this is not good for me. Yeah. Oh, it'll be good for me to leave. I get there. A small hurricane's hitting the school. It's called Hurricane Katrina. I don't think it's going to be big. Oh, okay. I swear to God, that's what I said. This happens every August. We'll just...

we'll leave for like three days so we drove to my family dropped me off and they were like we'll drop you off at school and then they're like well I guess we have to evacuate but it's like you'll go back and we'll drive to Texas we'll be there for three days and then you'll go back I didn't go back I mean I went back but not that semester that's so crazy so your first semester you think you're do you have your shit in the dorm room or no yeah oh no no not even oh thank god I know I had my bags but like we took them I mean I didn't yeah uh

That's fucking crazy. So wait, you just... I'm sorry, you stay in Texas, and then they're like, yeah, go ahead, home. Yeah. Really? You were just like... Well, we didn't even have to get their word. We're like, turn on the news, you're like, yeah, it's underwater. It's not... So that was bad. Holy fuck, dude. I mean, it was a terrible... I mean, you think of...

That time. And so, and yes, of course, you're the biggest victim of Hurricane Katrina. Yeah, a white man from New York. It robbed you of your freshman, your first semester, freshman year. Yeah. So you had to just, so you got kind of like a gap between.

fall yeah just fucking around in new york i did some classes at columbia because they just would take anyone anywhere if you were at two lane like well you can just come here and do we'll transfer your credits anywhere they were like whatever okay okay so yeah so i was uh and then i went back to two lane and i was at this roommate who was um he i could tell i was gonna like him he was like a party guy but like not the type of party guy i am right right uh

he was like the bitch of the frat he was rushing. And I wasn't, frats just didn't really, they didn't really come after me. I wasn't really like, I mean, I would drink for free at them while I could. But the one that courted me was one called Deke. And I was like, let me do some research. And I'm like,

Shut down for blackface at a parade. At a parade. I think I'm going to have to pass on Deke. Not even like leaked photographs at a private event. These guys are getting ready. They're like in the mirror. I'm going to look so good at the 4th of July parade. It was bad. And then...

Yeah, I had this guy. He would just get tortured. So the frat he rushed was called Pike, and they were just dangerous. They were like, you would tell bad kids. Yeah, yeah. Years later, kids I knew from this frat, I didn't know them well. I knew them in passing, like, hey, how are you? I saw them on CNN because they dumped boiling water on a kid as hazing. Holy shit.

Boiling water? You guys know the funny prank where you give a kid third degree burns? Where you treat a child like it's siege warfare in the Middle Ages? Like he's a Cossack trying to breach your walls and you pour boiling water on him? They do softer shit in Guantanamo than New Orleans. That's insane, dude. Yeah, horrible. And then...

I had this kid who was like the bitch of that frat when they just tortured him. He would like come back covered in like crab oil and shit. And then I remember he had the worst, you know, our beds were like right next to each other. I remember he had the worst ringtone of all time. It would just be that Sean Paul song. Remember, we be burning. It was either that or like glue. It was like one of those off. And I'm like, I fucking hate this kid. Listen,

Do not shit talk Sean Paul in this house. We be burning, not concerning, and nobody want to say. Glue is one of the most romantic songs I've ever heard in my life.

That's going to be my first dance at my wedding. But yeah, to hear that, that's a tough ringtone. That's a tough one to get because they would just call him all night and be like, show up and do shit for us. Pledge. My bald hairs are looking a little long. Pledge. I need you to trim them with your teeth.

It was awful. That kid was awful. Oh, my God. Of course, these dudes always, like, stand. They, of course, when things start to go well, they start hitting you up. Things are going well. We should have a brewski. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Always. But, uh...

Oh, you know what else he would do? He would dip. He was a South. He would dip. Freshman year, though, to dip is a little early. Yeah, it's gross. As an 18-year-old, 19-year-old dipping. I am the South. I guess that's true. He would dip. I guess I was smoking cigs at that age. Yeah, same. But he would dip and it was like...

That's tough to find that water bottle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then what do you do? You're too lazy to go to the bathroom as a freshman, so, you know, you just take your... You just have bottles of dip. Dip it in. Put your... Yeah, you're like, oh, just rinse with this. His dip. Oh, I would kill myself. I hated him. I would fucking... Oh, I would... Yeah, that's fucking wild. There was a bunch. Yeah, there was a bunch, like early stand-up years, too, like...

So you were only there, but you didn't stay in Tulane, right? No, I ended up going to NYU. Yeah, after how long? One year or one semester or what?

I think, I guess it was two years in New Orleans. Two years, okay. But how long were you in New Orleans? A year and a half. A year and a half, nice, dude, okay. Yeah, so you just had that motherfucker. What was the gnarled and snatched looking like for you? Did you get slurped off at Tulane? A little bit. I was seeing a girl for a while who's fucking nuts, dude. I can, oh, God, this girl's so crazy, dude. It's not good. She actually reached out recently. I want to read you the text because they're fucking, they're unhinged.

They're legitimately... Like, the recent ones are unhinged. Oh, yeah. That's crazy. You know when you're young and you're dating someone and you don't realize... And I don't want to sound like one of those dudes who's like, she's crazy, but she really... Like, something is deeply off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And child of two psychiatrists, which is never... Oh, yeah.

Brutal. It's like a senator's kid. You're fucked. Yes, yes. You're just fucked. Pastor's kid. Like a priest's kid. Forget about it. Or just a kid around pastors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're literally fucked instead of fucked. I got to read you something because she gave me a call and it was like one of those calls where... This is somebody you dated when you were 20. Yeah. And they recently reached out. Yeah. Block number, of course. I think it's Dave Attell, so I pick up. Who's the only guy who calls me for a block number? It's Dave Attell. Yeah.

So I'm expecting like my favorite comedian. Yeah, yeah. And instead I get her and I pick up. Oh my God. That's one of the worst. Yeah. The fall off between expectations and reality. I know. You're like smiling and then you're like. What? I would love to just look, have a silent like image of the 10 seconds of your face realizing what's happening. Yeah.

It was bad. And she was like one of those narcissists, like would fuck with me. Like, you know what she did? She's actually the reason I met my biological father because she used to do those like faux psychological tactics of like we'd be arguing and she'd be like, who are you really yelling at? Oh my God. And I'd be like, I guess it's because I haven't met my biological father. And then I meet him, I'm like, oh, I'm way worse off. This guy's insane. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Who he really yelling at. I was like, wow, you fucking manipulator. That's fucking deep. Yeah, she would do that. And then her parents were always nice enough to me. Are you mad at me or are you mad at your father for sucking off your roommate with crab boil, for licking the crab boil off your roommate's dick? I mean, my biological father is like, we be burning. Yeah.

Hello, the son I kept in my life. How are you doing? I love you and cherish you and can't wait to go to the Yankee game with you later. I'm so happy I got to focus all my fatherhood energy on just you. Anyway, what were you saying? Well, he turned out fucked up too, so here's your social experiment. Yeah, yeah. Well, both of us, you know, whatever. Yeah.

Yeah, is it nature or nurture? It's both. If your genes are fucked up enough, it's both. It's both, yeah. So then, yeah, I remember, so she contacts me and I pick up the phone and she was like, it's me, that's all. It's me. When's the last time you had talked to her? Okay, so I think 10 years ago she messaged me and I never responded. It was maybe, it was 12 years ago. Wow. It was 2011 and I remember only because...

we were remember those like bracket style march madness competitions we did yes of course it was me soda adam newman and nick cobb and we were in uh it was in new york daily news that a piece on us like are these the four funniest in new york like of course not but it was a nice thing to write and the finals are at caroline's you know oh caroline's march madness yeah we had to go head to head head to head on stage i would call it eight mile for jews that was my big opener and uh

So... Sorry to interrupt. Joe Pera had one of the funniest things I've ever seen on one of those where he was like, it's about to get crazy over here. And then he just put... He had a Z. He had a magnetic Z. And he put the Z over the S in Caroline's. And it was...

Wow. And it was like, and then I think it was Joe. I don't want to, I hope I didn't misattribute that to somebody else's great bit. But I think it was Joe Pera because, you know, Joe's not going to, that's not his, like, just jokes out of, joke, joke, joke. But he just figured out a way to be hilarious in that context. And he just put Carolines. Yeah.

What's tough ever a guy like that cuz Joe's so funny, but it's a good different energy totally did but uh, yeah We we did that and I remember she messaged me because it was at Caroline's and she was like well me and my mom will be there and it's like We haven't talked since we broke up. So you did her in New Orleans or New York, New York But we were long we were like long distance for a minute. Oh, I see I see I see and then I thought there's a girl from you like you met at college and

No. Oh, you were seeing her. Oh, I see. It makes more sense that way. And then she's like, we'll be there. And of course I didn't respond. I was like, I don't want to reconnect. You're not owed to reconnect with an ex. I don't wish you bad or anything. Yeah, but you're out of my life. It's also been a decade. At that point it was probably like four years, five years. More. It was more probably. Yeah, you know, I guess five years. And I just didn't respond. And then she was like,

more messages no response then finally well it's clear you don't want us there and I guess we'll call Caroline's and beg for a refund and I was like wow this is this is weird you made this about you yeah exactly guilty for no fucking reason so then she contacts me and was like it's me and I was like oh uh

Who? So, you're telling me that's the last con... Because in my head, you're telling me this story, and I'm like, oh, Sam dipped in, got his dick sucked every three years, and that's why... No, we didn't. But you didn't. Not since. I didn't fall... I didn't fall... Because I can't say the same of fucking my exes. Look, I've done it other times in my life. It's happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this time, I was actually good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I obeyed the law of breakups. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so then she calls and is like...

well, can you talk later? Which is like, it's literally like if a fucking cockroach came from behind your fridge and was like, we'll reschedule. Yeah.

No, it's not. It's you. I don't want to reconnect with you. It's fine. So then she writes me. I mean, I can read some of them. They're fucking insane. Oh, my God. But I don't want to. It might take a while. I don't want to eat up your pause. You can fucking read a good one. We'll dip in. Yeah, let's dip in. We'll dip in. Because it does get kind of saucy. That's crazy. We'll change your name for the sake of this. Of course. Change your name. Let's call her Melinda. Yeah, Melinda, the bitch from, what was that, Wicked? What was that one? Was Melinda the witch? Yeah.

I don't know. No Glenda, Belinda, I don't fucking know. Whatever. Hey, sorry, it's Melinda again. I have to say Melinda. Can I call you back or something? Separate text. Please. Separate text. What the fuck? Sam, it's Melinda. Separate text. What time should I call? This is a person you dated...

In college. I would say about, yeah, like 16 years ago. Yeah, dude. That's insane. Wait, these are the recent ones. Yeah, yeah. I haven't changed my number. That's my fault. Have you changed your number? I have because I was doxxed. But it turned out to be a good thing. I should. Because I got to like kind of reshuffle. I'm thinking about a fresh change, honestly. It's good. I'm thinking about it. It's like a new life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It does feel kind of nice. But that's four different personalities at once. Okay. So it gets better.

I haven't answered. I just have a very quick question. Trust me, please. I don't. Trust me. What? Trust me. It's like, this is all crazy. I don't know you anymore. It gets better. It gets better. I just...

I have a very quick question. I write, can you text it? And she writes, I'd rather not. Don't worry. It's nothing salacious. Like it all. I promise. I write back. Text is the only option. Text is the only option. Respect. She writes back, oy vey. Well, are you available for a few minutes right now? Even though it's over text, I write back, two min-max. Ha ha ha.

Any more, I will block you. I'm busy. Wow. Respect. She writes, block me. Oh, dear. Okay. That's such a strange thing to say to me. But the reason I've reached out is because you know how you're performing at MSG on November 4th. I mean, so yeah, this can't, this, we taped already. But like,

Yeah, I know. I know that I'm doing it. I do know that I'm doing that. Yeah. I'd love to come. I sent you a message about it on social media, but I'm not sure if you got it. Anyway, point slash question is, would you be okay with that? With me coming to your show? It's like, bitch, it's a 5,000 seat theater. Buy it, take it. I don't give a fuck. Well, that's where it goes. But I say, I write back, wouldn't make a difference to me. It's a pretty big venue. Because I think it's a pretty clear, pretty concise, right? Yeah.

She writes back, that sounds kind of mean. I'm not sure why. I just didn't want to intrude or anything. Intrude! You're intruding right now! Yeah. It's a fucking big venue. Whatever, it goes on for a while. I don't want to read the whole thing, but I was like... The next thing I did send her was a Ticketmaster link. That's awesome! Which I'm like, let's fucking... But it's like, holy shit. It's insane. It's a long fucking exchange. For somebody you haven't talked to, that's crazy. It's crazy. It's... And I...

You're lucky you changed your number. I should have done it. I should probably do it, but I'm fucking lazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is a little annoying to have to tell everyone, like, hey, new number, whatever, but whatever. It is annoying. You get to, you know, you don't get to have to talk to the window. You know what the problem with these scenarios is, is for me, as a comedian, it is very hard to shut off situations that could be potentially bits. Ha ha ha ha!

This is why you're mentally ill, man. This is too far. But I mean, part of me is like, this could end dangerously for me, but also I could get a new seven, eight minutes. I'm really weighing that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this woman could be holding me at knife point with period blood war paint on her cheekbones, but...

If I survive, that's a tight four and a half. You can do a remake of Misery, but you're James Caan. It's just like a diehard Stavi fan. Yeah, oh my God. That's, I don't want to. Maybe the twist is that she's really hot instead of Kathy Bates. That would be fun. Yeah, I'm the fat one. And it's some hot woman who's mad I left Comptown. Record one more episode for me. One more, please.

You owe it to me. You owe it to the fans. Yeah, whatever you say. Just let me call my parents. Let me call the police and then we'll do it. I'll do it. I promise. Look, I'm texting Adam right now. I'm on the group chat. Hey, boys. One more.

Fuck, dude. Yeah, that fucking sucks. Once you get to emails, it's easier to wean off. When you move from text to emails, you're... Yeah.

And the sooner, the longer you've been clean from fucking them, the easier it is, you know? It's a drug. It does feel nice when you're in a relationship and you're like, oh, they have no power over me. Like, these texts mean nothing to me. I spit in these texts' face. The second the girl you're with dumps you, you immediately respond. I mean, I guess I could meet for a drink. Hey, just saw this.

Hey, my bad. Just been busy. Just saw this. Yeah, I'm free. Yeah, I was free eight weeks ago, and I'm actually free in one hour. You're literally writing the text as your girl's breaking up with you. You're like, that's awful. Okay, let me just get this in there. No, you're right. Yeah, it's nobody's fault. It's just these things do kind of just happen. I do have that feeling. I'm at the age now with breakups where, like, as...

you know, we have less time, we're older, we're like more seasoned. As a girl, like ending it with me now, I'm more just like, all right, time to make some noises next round. Yeah, yeah.

Let's get up some context. Oh, yeah. Which one of my boys is single? Yeah, it does feel like, yeah, we've never really overlapped when we're not constantly on tour. I know. But that would be fun, dude. I know. Believe me, it would be. And maybe next year. Maybe things will fall apart. No, no, because once they fall apart, shit will just start going good for me. That's how the world works, man. That's how it works. That's just always how it fucking works. Hit those fucking...

Bars, man. I know. I do feel like... But I'm going on my... I'm getting into the zone. I think I'm going to be... I'm going to have a couple of wholesome...

months in Baltimore. Just chill out. Train with your bro. Like I said, oh yeah, the thing I was saying is I pushed the tour back to October, next year's tour, and I'm just going to stay off the road for the whole beginning of the year. I've talked about taking time off and I'm actually finally going to do it. Good for you. And watch like some other awesome thing will happen and it'll be like, I guess I'll...

you know what I mean like I'll have to be I was like alright Martin Scorsese is like you're perfect for my next project yeah yeah yeah or hopefully shit goes a little bad yeah I wouldn't mind a little dip so that I could chill out um but I'm not taking time off I'm going back to clubs for a while to hone this special which I'm taping in March so hilarious yeah

That's good, though. Wait, I'm sorry. You're doing clubs to get ready for the special? Just to get reps. How many fucking clubs, dickhead? You don't need that many reps. The hour's already good. You need clubs to work the new hour. Well, I'm going to do both. I'm going to do new shit while I do it. All right, all right. Sometimes you make me want to fucking... No, I'll write new shit while I'm doing that so I can do it at the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think the move is to just record...

but give yourself like six, like not maybe six, but five months between recording and releasing so that that little gap is when you hit the fucking clubs and work on your stuff. I can't wait that long, but a lot of it's like I feel like I want to just get it out because it's been a while for me, but I also like...

Yeah, I'll use the clubs to work on new shit, for sure. That's what I'm doing. I think I'm going... I'm doing a tour at some point later in 2024, but I do think I'll probably do like...

The other thing is I miss just living in New York and being here for long stretches and doing pop-up shows here. Just fucking working my shit out here. I've been doing a lot of it. And then also in Baltimore, right? We got a couple of clubs in Baltimore, little clubs. I can work some shit out there, do my goobies for old time's sake on a random day. And then if I feel like it, I'll just do a club in a city I want to visit and work on material. But I just don't... I need to take a little fucking time. Those are the clubs I make...

I'm probably going back to those. They better fucking pay up. Oh, yeah. Those are the ones that like overly when I was starting out was like, we'll give you nothing. Oh, I love headline. I love looking at some of those emails and being like, wait, is this the most recent offer? Oh, I'm sorry. Is this this time where you offered me three hundred dollars and no travel to headline a Sunday? Is this the one I should be doing or the one where I'm making a hysterical amount of money?

But whatever. Yeah, that's this business. It's like it's either, there's not really a middle. There really is no middle class. It is just like you're fucking, unless you're in Austin and you just work Rogan's Club, who pays people. Yeah, he's taking good care of you. Who pays people an insane amount. Have you been there yet? Yeah, yeah. I gotta go. Oh, it's awesome, dude. It looks cool. I think I am gonna go. Eldest, here's something I was thinking about.

The place, remember, because we are redoing Dallas, but maybe before Dallas, what if we rent that same house and have a little retreat? Yeah. Because weather in Austin, January is actually nice. You could hit a pool in January. Which is the month where...

Ted Cruz runs to Mexico, which is that month. Oh, true. Because there is a month that's weirdly bad. I think it's March. Maybe it's March. Because March is bad in San Diego, too. That shit is horrible. It's a place where the weather is awesome. I fucking love San Diego. March is usually dog shit, from what I remember. Because I was in San Diego in March last time thinking, like, woo, hitting the pool, going to be awesome. And it was dog shit. They call it, like... I don't know. Or maybe it's...

Something gloom. What rhymes with gloom? Gloom? Broom? I don't know. Maybe it's June gloom. Was I there in June? No, June can't be bad. When? When we were... When were we in... Or were you even there? You weren't there. It was Ben. It was me, Ben, and the little guy. Me, Ben, and Evan.

Oh, when you were in Vegas? No, dickhead. San Diego. Where'd you play in Vegas? That was February. February, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. February was bad. February and March, I think, is the problem. Vegas, dude, Vegas was before I popped, so it was like, it was Wiseguy still. Oh, nice. I had an offer for... Anyway, we'll probably hit Vegas later on, I don't want to... Yeah. Yeah, whatever. Take your time, Elvis, you motherfucker. Vegas is...

I do want to go back and just do a sick, like... I'm there, I guess this comes out, I'm there December 2nd, so... Okay, so back in time. Vitor hit me. So two days ago, guys. I hope you enjoyed the show. But Vitor hits me up, he's like, let's wear suits. I'm like...

alright fuck it that's what it's kinda funny about I was like fuck it no totally dude you wanna go you wanna fucking get on your Ocean's Eleven shit yeah you wanna fucking yeah you should wear shit if I do next time I do Vegas I'll probably come out in like some sequin shit

Like come out with a secret shit Maybe a toupee Like yeah A gold suit And a fucking toupee And have my shit Have like a big ass pompadour In Vegas Come out Luck be a lady tonight Come out Just start with a fucking show tune Ha ha ha

A Stobby Vegas special would be kind of cool. That would be cool, dude. The only problem is Vegas... Unless you're getting the locals, the crowds aren't great. The crowds aren't good. The locals are good. It's just a fucking transplant. That's what I like about Wise Guys. Because those... And you know what else I'll say about Vegas? That's why sometimes...

I kind of prefer midweek shows there. Yeah. Because the weekend crowd is tourists, but they'll fucking, you go out on a Tuesday or Wednesday, it's people that work service industry in Vegas that have the night off. And they're good. Yeah, it's just hard to go against, like, you go to Vegas, you're going against, like, everything. Chris Angel. Mind freak. I'm like, yeah, why are my tickets so bad? They're like Adele, Taylor Swift. I'm like, oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Usher. Yeah.

And Carrot Top. You're getting fucking crushed by Carrot Top. The motherfucking Carrot Top. Dude, yeah, I don't want to talk shit on our beloved comedy seller, but I did see a TikTok about they were going through like the weirdest casino in Vegas. The Rio? Yeah, they're like, this place sucks. And then they're like, no, there is a comedy seller which is pretty cool. That was the TikTok. And dude, it's showing you like

The actual casino was... Some of those casinos are so fucking broke. The cellar's cool there, but the actual... The casino... The Rio sucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like fucking... Like, the rooms suck, too. I remember I went there when they opened, and I was like, this was cool in maybe, like, the 70s. Yes, yes. And that ain't... Not in, like, a vintage way. No, they didn't update it. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's bad. No, I do. I am excited to... Nothing worse than a bad casino. Like, there's nothing sadder and more soul-sucking. I remember doing all those fucking rooms, like Reno and, like...

Oh, man, would that suck your soul. Oh, dude, thank God. I mean, I just never. I do like gambling in a really shitty casino. Yeah, it's fun. It's cheaper. You can play $5 hands of blackjack. I love that. You can play like $10 blackjack and you're just there all night. That's sick. That's fucking fun. We did that in NOLA. It was fun as hell. No, we played 20. Those cocksuckers were $20 hands. You know how much money we lost so fast? We lost like each $300 in like five minutes. I guess that was pretty fucked up. You were fucked up. Yeah.

But it was fun. I should have brought Ari in here. That would have been fun. Oh, the Harry's Hard Dick Savages. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hank's Hard Dick Savages. Fuck, I should have texted him. He probably would have come and watched. Stubbs Gas Station. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We found a gas station. We talked about it. We talked about it on the last one. Shit, I should... I don't want to text that bitch-ass motherfucker now. I can't believe it's been a year of Stavi, baby, dude. Dude, a year of motherfucking... This put me in such a good fucking mood. I was so irritable. New York is getting a little intense right now.

Like people in the street, I think it's the bike riding that's making me a little crazy. Interesting. We're just crossing the street in Manhattan. There's fucking, there's bikes just whizzing by. So the green light's no longer a green light. You gotta check, I know. Old people, I had a guy nearly hit me because he was on his phone today. That's fucked. And I go, what the fuck? And he goes, fuck you. And he keeps going. I was like, man, I got no anger at him.

Yeah, he just owned you. And he whizzes by, fuck you. I was like, I got owned by this fucker. It sucks. It sucks, dude. You know, I'm the guy saying, fuck you on the, because I'm on a city bike too. Do you city bike? Oh, dude, I city bike all the time. Not only that, but you know what? It must be so frustrating because I'm on an electric city bike. I'm going fast as shit. And imagine getting owned by a guy who's so fat that there is no way he should be riding a bike fast. That's the thing.

But with the help of electricity, he's sipping past you. People get so mad when I'm like... Because I'm fucking whipping it, dude. I'm getting... I love riding those fucking... You're like Bowser in Mario Kart. You're just fucking... Yes, dude. You hit a fucking mushroom. I fucking love that shit. Yeah.

But we never, okay, so we literally started talking about your one fucked up apartment, but I want to hear about. Others? Yeah, let me, New York, give me a couple bad roommate apartment situations. Okay, there's one in Brooklyn. Young Samuel. Yeah, there's one with John. Oh, dude, I can't even imagine you living in Brooklyn. That's hilarious. Yeah. Just the idea of you, like, I can only think of you in Manhattan. The second I could afford it, I moved. Yeah, yeah. How many years did you live in Brooklyn? Brooklyn.

I don't remember, honestly. Like two max, probably. I didn't... No, it was probably more, but I didn't stay with... I was dating a girl for a while in Liveman Head. I slept there a lot. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. But just because of spots. You're just like, what can I do? How many spots can I do? Oh, dude, believe me. My college girlfriend, she went to grad school...

at GW in DC and I feel so bad for her she's a great girl but like I just love stand up so much that I was like sick an apartment in DC to crash and do open mics and she would be like she's having a tough time at grad school and I'm like yeah yeah yeah that's nice I gotta get to the Arlington draft house to do three and a half minutes about your pussy laughing

I'm such a piece of shit, man. Well, there was one of them, one of the apartments, John, it was this comic, John Powley, and he was a nice guy. But he ran a show, that's how I knew him. He ran a show called Buns and Puns that Arlo and Esme, it was a bad show. That fucking sucks. No, actually, the show was good. The concept was bad. That name was so bad. He was one of those dudes that fell ass backwards into a hot show. Oh, that was so funny when that would happen. When the worst part of a show was like the host, right?

Yeah, well. Which would happen in New York a good amount of times. But he also was the reason people, like, he would walk up to people. He was my roommate. And he would walk up to people on the street and be like, come to my show on Sunday. And they'd be like, okay. Wow. He was that confident. Interesting. And people would show up. Confident or, like, autistic. Yeah.

Both. It was definitely both. Because I think... Yeah, it was both. Yeah. That's good, though. You can harness that energy. Oh, dude, the lineups in these shows were insane. Yeah. I mean, I'd be on them and it would be like... Fucking, it'd be like Kumail. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'd be like DeRosa. Yeah. It'd be like... Fuck, a lot of people who... Yeah, there was a Golden Age of Bar Shows, which... Hannibal. Dude...

and maybe this is gonna come back hopefully yeah but I don't know but there was a time where the bar shows if you could just get 30 people in a room you could have the best comedians in the world do your fucking show it was incredible I mean and that's what it was but the show itself it was called Buns and Puns we would play 80s aerobics videos behind you when you're on stage and

and then hand out homemade buns that he got that's what we did and people were like what the hell and then he would um so the video was distracting as hell of course didn't help and then and then he would hand out jello shots which was actually kind of cool yeah because like you're getting a free shot no one's mad at that no dude everyone loves a jello he put a lot of work into the show so even the he did that hurt the show it was still a hot show like i mean i definitely did but anyway

you know, we had, we were in this home and he would just keep disappearing. So he would just keep, this was the one where it was like four of us in a two bedroom with walls and he would just keep disappearing and subletting his room to random strangers. So I would just come home and be like, who are you? He'd be like, oh, I'm in John's room. And I'd be like,

Okay. Yeah, just a guy you don't know. Once he sublet it to a really hot chick. Oh, wow. And I ended up hooking up with her. Ah, it all makes sense. And he was like, he texted me. He's like, I got you this month. I'm like, I don't know what that means. I said, I'm like, Jesus Christ. Damn, dude. Pretty cool. And she was very cool as well. That's awesome. But it's still weird to hook up with your roommate. But how long was she staying there?

A few months. He would disappear. He would take like odd jobs in Asia. What? He was a very weird guy. He had like a family business. He didn't really pursue comedy hard. Yeah, yeah. But... He was so funny. He was weird. He would what? Go work on a fucking fishing vessel in Taipei? The fishmonger? Yeah. What do you mean he's taking odd jobs in Asia? That's crazy. He was doing weird shit. Yeah. Um...

Yeah, but that was the guy. He'd bring in every once in a while. There'd be like, there was a couple cool people that lived there, but then it would be like. A couple nightmares. And every once in a while, he'd be like, this dude. But then we'd get like a random cool dude. So that was a weird one just because it was like, fuck the walls. I know, and it's your home. It was a tough one because I'd also like, there was no walls.

I don't remember. It was like early 20s. 24? Yeah, something like that. Early 20s. That's acceptable for that time of your life, though. I was fine with it. I also was like so all in on comedy that like... Exactly. That it was like, I don't mind. Also, I will say, hot subletting roommate is actually the perfect scenario. He looked out in that way. Because the problem... Yes, because the thing is, you don't want to fuck your roommate because you're stuck with her. Yeah. But like, there is that thing of like, if it's a stranger who's hot, like, there is a camaraderie to being roommates.

And, like, that is a really nice way to chip away at a hot woman and, like, have her, like, warm up to you in a very, like, easy, natural way. So, you know, he did do you solid. She was just cool as hell. She was one of those people that was, like...

She did have a boyfriend. So she was really cool. So I said, she's a really good roommate. Like, hey, Sam, I didn't do the dishes, but let me get you back. I mean, basically. Yeah, that was... I was scrubbing a lot of dishes. Sam's doing all the chores. Whistling. There was another one that I hooked up with that was another John hookup. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah. But she... But I was also like...

I think I liked her more than she liked me. And then, yeah, it was weird. Yeah. You were the clingy one. I was clingy. It's tough, though. It's tough not to be clingy when she's like right there. You're like, are we going to fuck again? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're in the common area. There's a vibe. Do we have to get drunk to fuck? I don't know the rules. Fuck.

I was trying to understand the rules of the house. Right, right. House rules. We have to be drunk to fuck. Anyone, it's funny, like, the reason those shows like The Real World are so popular is because that's like so many people's actual life in their 20s is you just have a shitload of roommates and you're just maybe fucking some of them. Of course. That's why Friends is popular. Yeah. It's not the fucking writing. No. It's just like, oh, we're roommates and we hook up. Oh, I get this. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't think I've ever, I mean, I haven't had that many roommates. They've all been my male best friends for the most part. So I don't think I've had any roommates. I've had those too. But like, yeah. I mean, you met John before a million times. We've lived in a couple places together. But that's not this John. Different John. No, no, no. It's a different John. John's cool.

Yeah I've met a couple of your roommates They're cool bros Chill blokes Um Yeah I mean We've talked about We know our roommate situation I don't wanna have to talk You never fucked a roommate Or anything like that Eldest right? No I only lived with I only lived with girls Like one year

Other than that, I've only lived in China. Oh, right, in that disgusting Bushwick apartment. In Bushwick, yeah. That's the thing the older generation doesn't understand. They're like, you're living with a woman that you're not dating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a hard thing to explain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, but women are for fucking. They're not for... My dad is my pet. So I'm like, I don't, you know. They're not for cohabitating. I do think immigrants...

find it easier to wrap their head around it because, like, we lived with a girl, but she was, like, one of my best friends. I met her, yeah. Yeah, yeah, she's awesome. Yeah, yeah. She's also now a member of Stabby Baby Enterprises. She's our logistics coordinator. Building a business, man. Dude, with the whole team. All my former roommates work for me now. Well, you're building something, man. It's cool. No, it's awesome. But...

- Yeah, that is, I just, I love, it's so funny. It's just hilarious in my head. I cannot fathom you getting off the train in Brooklyn and sleeping there. - Yeah, it was a different, it was a different me. - Do you think you would ever not live in Manhattan?

at any point in your life. It'd be really hard for me because I just like the convenience of it. I mean, look, who knows? Maybe at some point in my life I had a family, but I don't think I would ever leave the city. Even then, yeah, you wouldn't leave the city. Maybe then you'd go to Brooklyn or something. I just don't... I'm fine sacrificing space for just convenience. Yeah, I can't see... You in the fucking suburbs is crazy. I would kill myself. Yeah. I would legitimately kill myself. Even like Westchester.

Like, I can't imagine that. The silence is noise to me. Yeah, yeah. That silence actually freaks me out. Whereas, like, the noise in New York is, unless it's the fucking current noise in my apartment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would love, oh my God. This motherfucker's got, Elders, this motherfucker has had, they've been jackhammering his window for eight months, basically. No, I think 14. 14? Oh my God. I'm losing my mind. And, and,

They're literally jackhammering it. So my apartment's been vibrating and the building management doesn't give a fuck. And I really, I write all these emails that are polite. And then the one time I write a hem in all caps, they do a reply also. Now everyone thinks I'm fucking crazy.

They know what to get me. They got your ass. They got me. You're saying it's vibrating now? I hate it. Here's what you do. You stick a fucking suction cup dildo on it and then put it up your ass because they have to look at it. The window's right there. I'm like, oh, fuck. And you're like, oh, like this too. So they see your dick and balls. You're like, oh.

This is awesome. Keep doing this. That's your only way out, dude. The other thing that's crazy is my girlfriend will wake up before me and she just like opens the blinds everywhere. That's like her ritual. And I'm like, I'm a slow, I wake up at 830, but it takes me a while to get going. And I just walk in to the room in my underwear. And I just see these dudes just like staring at me. I'm in like tight undies.

And that's my every morning. It's just, he was like looking at me and I'm just like, fuck you. Dude, so you're going to have to take one for the team. It makes me mad. Put a dildo up your ass. Front ways. Get on your back and fuck yourself with a vibrating dildo. And make them look at you with jackhammers. It's just me getting fucked in the ass. It goes viral.

I put my tour dates at the end. I'm like, look, I got to move some tickets, dude. I'll be in Buffalo. I'll be in Buffalo. Just getting blasted. God. No, really. That's the thing about New York is, like, no matter... People, like... I just did...

Big Cat and PFT show and they're like are you worried that like success is gonna ruin your comedy I'm like I'm never not irritated that's what about living in New York I guess you're a little more removed in Astoria but in the city like I'm trying to fucking recruit you and I'm talking no it's great you should move down no I do want to for a couple years I think I'll get you down

there. No, I do want to. We'll have such a good... We'll go to Knicks games. I think I'm going to try and start looking at places like early... Late winter, early spring of next year. I'll meet you. I'm going to do, like I said, I'm going to do a little Baltimore sabbatical in the winter. Yeah. And then I think I'm going to at least...

If I can get a good place, because I just want... I'm okay spending a little money, because I've been frugal for the entirety of my life. So it's like if I splurge a little bit, splurge on a nice place. But anyway, we'll figure it out. Elders, what do you say we do a couple fucking questions? Me and Sammy got to fucking... We got to order some Greek food. We got to watch basketball. We got a full night ahead of us. I'm so happy.

It is like a weird relief to cancer cellar spots and just fucking chill and watch hoops with you. Chill, watch hoops, get some fucking Greek food. Unless Esty's listening, in which case I'm very sick suddenly. And Israel's never done anything wrong. Now, please don't listen to any other podcast I've ever done. I won't either. Yeah.

Yeah, hit us with some fucking questions, Big LD. Yo, stop. No, it ain't playing, bitch. Yo, stop. So I'll cut right to the chase. I have been dating this girl for about six months. It's been going fucking awesome. I love her. Like, it's been really, really great. And pretty soon we're wanting to move in with each other. That's cute. Move in together.

What?

They, like, wrap it up in more toilet paper and then put it in the trash can. And that's fucking disgusting to me. So... And the first time that I said, like, oh, this is kind of weird, like, kind of joking about it, she seemed weirded out that I thought it was weird. Like, she thought that this shit was normal. Or... I don't know. It might be normal. It might be, like... I don't know. But...

I don't want shit in my fucking trash can. I've been thinking about maybe going the bidet route or something like that. Really interesting. Have you ever considered Tushy? Yes, that's right. We urge you to go the bidet route with Hello Tushy Bidets. We love our Tushy bidet here at Stobby's World. And look, we all have to deal with it. Our caller is dealing with it, right? Relaxing dumps, they're great. But dealing with the aftermath...

Not so much. Wiping only spreads poop around, my friend. Give yourself the ultimate clean and turn your bathroom into a personal oasis with the refreshing stream of clean water from a Hello Tushy bidet.

We love him. We got him. You could, honestly, you could eat off my ass pipe after I've taken one of the messiest dumps you've ever seen in your life. Listen, these boys, we got a couple thoroughbreds in the studio right now. Sam, Sam, he's a messy. I've seen the aftermath of some of his stuff. Disgusting, okay? Everyone in this studio takes fat dumps, and everyone in the studio has clean holes despite being very fat, okay?

Being fat and hairy and large. Having one of the loosest, most used up butts in all the land. Just can't handle dairy, can't handle anything. Still, clean. We all love tushy, okay? Keeps me feeling fresh. And look, you don't like tushy, that's alright. You think you're not going to like it, you will. But every Hello Tushy bidet comes with a 30 day hassle free return. Come on. Scroll down you fucking dumbass.

Make your post-dump experience even better with their Precision Nozzle Adjuster. I got it targeted right in the hole. Sometimes I feel like I get it so directly it's coming out of my nose. Ha ha ha.

And listen, even if by some, you're some kind of loser that doesn't enjoy this product, which you won't be, we love it. But let's say you are. I'll take the judgment off it. Every Hello Tushy bidet comes with a 30-day hassle-free return policy and a 12-month warranty. So join the over 1 million real pooping humans who have made the switch. Do it right now, folks.

HelloTushy is offering our listeners an exclusive limited time offer of 15% off your first bidet order plus free shipping. Go to HelloTushy.com forward slash Stavi for 15% off all bidets. That's HelloTushy.com and enter promo code STAVVY at checkout. See site for details. I don't know how to bring it up to her because it feels uncomfortable. Clearly, she thinks that this is normal. So, just...

You know, let me know, stop. Appreciate you, man. Love the pod.

Also, hello guests as well. I got you in there, too. First off, how much time are you spending with her? Anyway, bye. Yeah. I mean, that's not that big a problem, right? I know. Do you live with her family? Unless she's doing that, because that is gross as fuck to me. I think that's what he's saying. It's just a part of her life. She hasn't known anything else. Get a bidet. I mean, I have a bidet. It's a tushy, and I love it. You got it. Bidets are better anyway.

Well, I will say this, right? I actually think I can provide a little context here. Eldis, maybe you can too. In Europe, in Greece, people do not flush their... The pipes are not good enough.

to flush toilet paper. In Greece and in a lot of places in Europe, you're not supposed to flush toilet paper. You're supposed to put it in a bag and throw it out. Like, that's just a way of life. That's just reality. And in fact, when I was growing up, we had kind of shitty pipes and because my parents were both

from Greece, we did that growing up. Now, I could never go back. It's fucking disgusting. Yeah. Like, in my personal life. But I don't know if this... Is this girl, like, foreign? That's a possibility. But either way, you gotta be like, hey, unless we have a fucking...

Unless we have plumbing issues, can you please just flush the paper? I think the bidet will solve this. I think you just get her on the... It feels better. Definitely get a bidet. Definitely get a bidet. You definitely get a tushy bidet. You can use promo code STOCKY. Or just any bidet. No, no, no. Again, edit every time Sam says anything that's not effusive praise of the tushy.

I honestly don't get why it's not more common. You go to an airport bathroom and you take a shit. Sometimes you have to. This toilet paper is paper thin. Japan and Korea, public bathrooms have a fucking bidet. It's incredible. It's just more clean. Yeah, definitely get a bidet. This shit is weird.

She cannot... That's fucking insane for her to behave this way. But get the bidet and then look, if it really is an issue, be like, hey, I would appreciate it if you just flushed the toilet paper. At least in my place. You can just be like, look, it's my place. You could at least say that. I think it's fucking gross. But that is fucking gross. If you're doing it like...

As a choice? That's crazy. Now, wipes, you're not supposed to flush wipes. There's flushable wipes. You're not even, that's fake. Really? You're not supposed to do that. That fucks your pipes up bad. Well, I'm fucking up every hotel I go to. I bring that shit on the road. Hotels, they can suck my dick.

I like to trim my pubes at the hotels. Oh, that's smart. Sprinkle those pubes over their toilet bowl. Leave a little extra tip for housekeeping. I ain't messing up my bowl. Yeah, no, that's a great point. Even just shaving in general. It's annoying to get your shit in your... I'm on the road tomorrow, baby. Yes, there are perks to the road life. Yeah, go the bidet route. Tushish promo code Stav. Sam, silence. Do not comment on that. And next question, Elders.

Hey, Sabi. Hey, Eldis. Hey, guests. Whatever beautiful degenerate you happen to be today, I've got a real quick one for you. So I've been working at this company for four to five months now. It's been going great. And this past weekend, we had our company anniversary party. Hey.

And I have this coworker who we get along great. We work well together. Uh, the lab runs super efficiently whenever we're working together. So it's definitely not a relationship. I'm looking to damage. She is, she does tow the straight and narrow a little bit for my taste. She likes to tow that line. Uh, however, she brought her sister to this company party and me and her sister hit it off. Uh,

You know, we're ripping tequila shots, crushing plates of ribs. She's eating ribs like a walking around snack, which is a good old Midwestern boy that really did something for me. It looked like she wanted to go to the bars with us after, but my coworker went ahead and took them home. They had somewhere to be in the morning or something dumb. But anyway, I'm just wondering if the don't shit where you eat rule applies to family members of coworkers, or if it's okay to ask her for her sister's number. I definitely don't want to damage the relationship at work.

And, yeah, that's pretty much it. Love the show. If you could do this on a free episode, that would be greatly appreciated. If it ends up working out, I'll definitely top five at the Patreon and call back with an update. I appreciate you. Love the show. All right, all right. You lucked out. This is our big anniversary show, so this does happen to be free. This is interesting. I think you're in the clear here. This is not a shit-where-you-eat scenario. And before even asking for the number, if you were cool with it, I would feel it out. I would be like, man, your sister...

That's one hot piece of ass. Maybe, I'm paraphrasing. You can find better language. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your sister was great, yeah. Be like, oh, your sister was so fun. And then take her temperature. Is she like, oh, she loved you. Exactly. Or you could also tell, though, is she kind of weird and cold about it? It's like, oh, yeah. He does say this coworker, he's like, she's on the straight and narrow, so she sounds like kind of like a whack, like fucking type A. Yeah, yes, yeah, sure. Fucking...

Proud employee or something. Right. But at the same time, feeling her out is, I think that's step one. Yeah. But when did he call in Elders?

Okay, yeah. By the time this fucking guy gets this answer, it'll be... He'll fuck it up with his sister. He'll have pulled his cock out at the office. You think your sister would like this? You know her better than me. I want to be a gentleman. I don't want to send her a dick pic she's not going to like. It is. I've been in that scenario where the sister, there's a vibe and you're like...

I think it's okay. I think as long as it's not... It's okay, but you're on thin ice. You're on thin ice. You just have to tread carefully, but I think you're in the clear here. I think this is like... And if you vibe, if you felt the vibe and you're ripping shots and you're having clearly fun. Yeah. Well, I would also ask our friend here, you are okay, but...

It can still be negative. It can still fuck things up. Not quite as bad as if you were dating her, but it could fuck up your relationship with your coworker. That is a possibility. It is still a risk. Maybe. If it goes really bad. As long as you don't treat her horribly. Sure. But I'm just saying that's at least on the table. He's saying he doesn't want to fuck up the relationship with the coworker, right? So keep in mind...

You are in the clear. This is like an 80-20. You're fine versus it could be bad versus when you fucked your actual co-worker, it's almost like 65-35, you're going to fuck it up versus it's going to be good. Maybe more. Yeah, it's actually probably 90-10 if we're being honest. So just keep that in mind. Also ask yourself...

Was she actually into me? I would say just be sure. Take your co-worker's temperature, but also do you have any friends that are other friends that work at the office that were at the party? Because there have been times we've all been guilty of being like, whoa, that girl was fucking into me. And then you talk to your friends, they're like...

She was not into you. She was like that with everybody. I saw her sucking off Mark or whatever. Bill and Mark had her, you know, in their Acura after the thing. She really, she's just a cool girl. Yeah, there are those girls like that where they're like... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're just like, I'm fucking funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Then you see her talking to a homeless guy outside. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly, exactly. No, it's a tough one, but it seems like he's fairly aware. I'm just saying, just do your due diligence here. But also, you run the risk with this where the sister is kind of like...

I guess the sister's your only lifeline here, but sometimes the sister's kind of like, maybe she's weird. I don't want to make it weird. Right, that's what I'm saying. I think if you had asked the sister for the number, like, part of my instinct almost says, like, leave the co-worker out of it other than a temperature check. And then if she's like, oh, she loved you, then you could follow up. But if she's not immediately like, yeah, like, super seems like she'd be on board, I almost feel like you have to...

Figure this out yourself. Wait for some pictures from that night to come out. Is she tagged? You know what I mean? But find a way, if you're vibing that night, it's always better if you find a way to get the number, even if in a professional way where you're like, oh, have you seen this? I'll send it to you. I'll send you the thing, you know? But he has no...

There's no professional way. Like, he has the co-worker's number, but he needs the sister's number. You know what I mean? But if you're drinking, there's a way, I think, to get it. If you're ripping shots... It's over. This is in the past. No, I'm saying in the future, in this type of scenario, you've got to find a way to get the number night of, I think. Absolutely. Absolutely. You've got to find a way to be like... You know, if you're ripping shots, that's an environment where you can ask for a number. I think so. So...

Yeah, I guess talking through it, what do you think about asking the co-worker for the number? That feels a little dicey to me. I think that's pretty weird. Really? What he really needs to ask himself is like,

How does my coworker feel about me? And don't like delude yourself. Yeah. Like, am I just some annoying asshole to her that she has to like work with every day? And you know, is she friendly to me or is she just nice? Cause it's work or something. And let that be your guide. But I also think like, you know, get her involved as little as possible. I think you're fine. If you hooking up with a coworker sister, uh,

Is fine. I think maybe if you really want to be a bro, if you go on a date with her sister, be like, hey, I just want to let you know, you know, I took out whatever, I had a nice time. Like, but yeah, I would say you don't really, you don't want to put your coworker in the position of like,

Being your wingman in any way You know what I mean? You don't want to put her in the middle of it But I think the feel out You say something subtle like What I would give to titty fuck your sister Yeah, something Gauge temperature, you know? Yes, yes, yes, absolutely You're like, you know, you're like Check out these thumbs, wouldn't they look cool in your sister's ass? Laughter

Yeah, you play thumb war with her. You're like, yeah, these thumbs are pretty strong. You know what would be cool? Flicking your sister's clit. You see how hard I'm working today at work? That's how hard I eat pussy. And not to you, by the way. I'm a man. To your sister. I respect you. Your sister, I want to treat like a fucking... I want to treat her cunt mountain asshole as my personal play toys.

I just think of like I've hated the majority of my coworkers. That's the job I've ever had. And I would just like recoil in disgust if I saw my sister like having a blast and like taking shots with like my coworkers. That's a good point. But they seem like they get along though. They do seem like they get along. At least according to him, they seem like they have a very good relationship.

strictly professional relationship. I mean, you can like party with your... I mean, you know, I don't hate all my past coworkers, but it's like, you can party with them, company party, whatever, but it's like, you know, I do not want to intertwine my life with any of these people like beyond this context. True, true, true. That is the problem, I guess. Now, I've only worked in...

two regular offices in my life. And the one that I worked in was a shit show law office where people were like, literally there was like a guy, like women would show this one manager their tits to get like

like shifts off and like people were getting blown in the parking lot. So it's like, but that was a very, that was a very low, like in that scenario, I would have no problem literally going up to a coworker and being like, God damn, your sister's tits are awesome. You think I could fuck her? So that's my frame of reference, right? Um,

So, but I do, there are some places where that's acceptable. He said lab and he said she's straight and narrow. This seems a little too professional. I think you're okay trying to fuck the sister. But you gotta feel the co-worker out without, you know, some subtle things that we've discussed already. And then...

If you get even any hint of backlash, you cannot involve the sister at all, the co-worker at all. And you have to then go your own way to try and fuck the sister. It's going to be tough, though, if she kind of doesn't give you the in and then you go the DM route. That's a good point.

In fact, you're going to have to... That's why you need to bypass her altogether and just go straight to the... You got to do your own research. I guess, you know what? I think you're right. Find the co-workers page. Look for her sister tags. Yeah, the feel-out is actually... You're right. That's kind of a risk. Maybe I'm wrong, yeah. No, no, no. I think you're right. Because...

If the feel-out goes well, you're golden. If it goes poorly, then you are real and you still try and fuck the sister. That's kind of jeopardizing your relationship with the co-worker. If you try to bypass the co-worker, you always have like no matter how bad it ends, you can be like, hey, we're just two consenting adults. I don't need to ask you for permission. But the more we're talking about this, this actually does feel...

Where he fucked up was not getting the number that night. Because if you had seized the moment in a place where everyone's there, where everyone's having a good time, you're fine. Now you're going to have... Actually, now that we really talked this through, you kind of have to wait for another organic situation, another office party, or...

Here's where you could be sneaky. Try and put together like a little company happy hour. And like, you'd be like, hey, we had fun with your sister. You should bring her back. Exactly. That's kind of a very safe feel out process. Because if she... If she... That's barely a feel out. And maybe she brings her. You know what I mean? You never know. But...

Yeah, I think you're actually... It's a... I'm back to being this... Yeah. This is a huge gamble. Yeah, the DM lurking also just feels a little too like... A little thirsty. 24 years old or something. It's like... What you didn't know back when you were that young is like, hey, if it's meant to be and you'll fuck this girl one day, like, you will run into her at another party. Yeah, you're gonna... But... Here's the thing. You are shitting where you... You're risking shitting where you're eating unless this happens organically. I've been...

I think because I've been in this situation and I've always gotten the number the night of or just gotten straight up shut down. So I mean, I think you just got to fucking take this as maybe a lesson. I would personally probably just go through the sister still if you have a good relationship. But I yeah, I think take this as a lesson. You got to get the fucking number. Yeah. And the hard thing is, yeah, you got to get the number. And the hard thing is we just really don't know because we don't know what your coworkers like. But from all the like hints, yeah.

It doesn't sound like she's the type that would put you on to get slurped by her sister. Well, maybe if you say, like, man, she's really... I think you can't... You do have to say something like, man, I'd love to take her to dinner. You gotta, like, put, like, she's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd love to be... I'd love to be cleaning her cunt juice out of my mustache in the morning. That's option B. I think you have options. I'd love to wring out my chin hairs of her pussy juice.

I'd love to use a ShamWow on my fucking sofa after I make that whore squirt all over my IKEA. Alright, next question, Eldis. Hey, Savi. Big fan. So, something kind of strange. I'm a grown man with a child. She's seven. And I have found myself, since the advent of self-checkout...

I've been stealing a lot. I've never really stolen in the past. I've grown up. I'm a fully grown adult. But ever since then, I feel like the stores have been kind of showing us that they would rather us steal than pay workers. That's kind of the point of self-checkout. I think that's what they were going for. Yeah.

explaining it away, why I steal because of the corporate machine. But I've been doing it more and more and more and more. And now every time I go to the grocery store, I'm stuffing stuff in the bottom of my bags and not paying for them. Do you think this is normal? Should I stop and start paying them or should I kind of say, fuck them, man? Hey, man, thanks so much. I love you. Love the guys. Goodbye, guys.

Yeah, who gives a fuck, man? Keep stealing. I guess it depends on the grocery store, but if you're stealing from Whole Foods, it's Amazon. They're not really hurting. Keep stealing. Don't get caught, but keep stealing. Yeah, pretty easy one. Next question, Eldest.

It doesn't matter. If it's Christina's, that's the fucking... Steal the fuck out of their shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck them. Don't steal from mom and pop, but yeah, steal from big chains. Who gives a fuck? Yeah, and listen, steal something for your baby girl while you're at it. You see you got a seven-year-old daughter, get her a little fucking candy or some shit, and then you're a good guy. COVID really... I mean, those clips of people in like Target where they're just like, yeah, just... I mean... Yeah, yeah. Just steal. Just steal this. Oh, I steal all the time. They're like just like waving goodbye. You're like, wow, this is fucking... Yeah. Yeah.

I'll steal a little something if it's too overpriced. Look, Bidenflation has ravaged America. This is our way back until we get Trump in the White House. Keep stealing. Keep looting, but in a Republican way.

Hilarious. Yeah, pause this for a little bit. Hysterical. This guy called in and asked if we should try and fuck his therapist.

I'm not going to lie. It would probably, if I'd have a really hot therapist, it's like kind of a turn on. They know a lot about you. You're so stupid. I mean, it is kind of hot.

Is it that hot? It's hot the way, like, yeah, the way, like, people jack off to incest porn. It's like a fantasy. But it's fucked up. Gandolfini wanted to fuck Dr. Melfi. That's true. That's true. James Gandolfini, the real guy, did want to fuck Dr. Melfi. It's not the same as incest either. Come on. No, no, it's not the same as incest. But I'm saying it's hot as a fantasy is my point. It's, like, hot the way, like, being, like, you know, getting...

But there is something weird and unethical about... It's unethical. But, you know... I mean, if they fuck you, they're not a good therapist. Yeah, that's the thing. That's not... But it's like, if you're committed to therapy, you shouldn't try and fuck your therapist. Your therapist is riding you. So why do you think you're doing this right now?

And who wouldn't want to fuck Melfi, by the way? Hachi Machi, what a piece of ass. I was like, who wouldn't? And I was like, I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, of course. Who wouldn't? Consensually, that episode was my least favorite. I have to skip that on the rewatch. It's too dark. That's a tough one. It does feel... I know what the point they're trying to make, but...

She couldn't have just gotten mugged. It was dark. She couldn't have just gotten like really fucked up. She had to get raped. That season was tough. I mean, that also had the stripper episode. There was a couple really tough ones. But that one I at least...

understand that one's really reminding you like these are fucking pieces of these are subhuman pieces of garbage and we're having a good time laughing along with them and everything but at the end of the day these are evil pure evil beings and Ralph is funny so you do have to be reminded that he is the one of the worst he's one of the worst yeah yeah alright keep going LD

So I took your advice not to do anything. I also asked my friend if I should make a move, and she told me it's surprising that I continue to get more and more retarded as I get older. So I took that as a don't do it, you fucking moron type of advice from her and you. And I guess what I'm calling in now for advice is...

I kind of have this addiction to MILF and I have trouble getting hard for girls my age. And there's been plenty of times where I've had sex with a girl and I just don't get hard. And every single time I've had sex with an older girl or an older woman, I get really, really turned on by it. So I guess I want to settle down with a girl my age. I'm going to be 29 soon. So basically what I'm asking is how do I get over this MILF addiction? And thanks, buddy. Love you so much. Why are you fighting nature?

Use your cock as a guiding light. Your cock should be your North Star here. Unless you're a pedophile, follow your cock.

As long as it's a consenting adult, follow your cock where it leads you. That's what will make you the most happy. You know what you like. And we really are. This is the perfect episode. Sammy loves, Sammy's the old school milf hunter over here. Thank you. Maybe cut that part with my girlfriend. Oh, yeah. I'm kidding. Keep that in.

No, I do. I appreciate older women usually. I just think they've got their shit figured out too, which is kind of hot. It's also amazing that this guy has the...

He goes to therapy, but he wants... It's amazing to be responsible enough to go to therapy, but then be like, I should fuck my therapist. Yeah, yeah. It's just too crazy. That is a funny little needle to thread there. Yeah, I mean, I also get it. You want to do what society tells you to do. But see, here's my issue with this, right? If he happened...

Guys marry younger all the time. Someone marries somebody 10 years younger, right? And look, I'm looking at... I'm kind of reading my own...

You know, I'm kind of reading my own charts here. I'll probably end the... I don't see myself... By the time I get married, I don't see myself, you know, marrying somebody older than me. Just looking at my record, we really are hilariously, like, different, where it's like, I've dated... I've tended to date much younger. And, like... I would date younger. It's just they've got to have their shit. They've got to have their shit. For sure. But I'm just saying, like, nobody... I mean, like...

Sure, some age gap discourse has started where it's like it's problematic when men date young women, but it's like nobody really gives a fuck. Like if you if a guy marries a girl 10 years younger than no one cares, why? Why is it a big deal if this guy marries somebody older than him? I don't fucking get it. I want to judge himself. I think that's what I'm saying is I'm saying, dude, let go of your fucking hang ups. Like there's nothing wrong with that. You like what you like.

There's plenty of, you know... Like, if you find somebody who... Also, maybe it is a phase. And maybe you'll get over it naturally, or maybe this is just what you like. Right. Like, you're calling it an addiction, but you're... Like, that's the thing. No man would ever call in and be like, I'm addicted to fucking 20-year-olds. Or, like, I'm addicted to fucking 23-year-olds. I'm just Leonardo DiCaprio. He doesn't have your number. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Leo, if you want to chat, I'm always available. But that's what I'm saying, is, like...

No guy would ever be like, all the girls I fuck are eight years younger than me. Why are you like, no one would be like, I have to beat that. Most people have a type. Right. I mean, most people, it's like you see, people show up and you're like, wow, that guy kind of looks like your last boyfriend. Right, right, right. You know what I mean? People have a type. Some people say it's a fetish, but it's like, well, maybe that's your type. Yeah, and that's what I'm saying is like, a woman who happens to be a little older than you,

It's not... That's what... I guess I want to like... That's not a fetish. It doesn't qualify to me as a fetish. Yeah. Because it's like, it's so normal when a guy dates somebody younger than him. Yeah. That it's like, you shouldn't want to beat this. This isn't something to beat. Not...

Like, beat trying to fuck your therapist. Not happening to want to fuck, you know, you're 29. Oh, you want to fuck a 36-year-old woman. You want to fuck a 37-year-old woman. That's not a fucking problem, bro. I say you fucking... I wonder if his therapist is a MILF. That's probably what it is. Like a hot older woman therapist. I could see like... Oh my God. That would be... Again, I would jack off to that. Yeah. And I would even maybe... In the session. Yeah. Yeah.

And I would maybe even ask a woman I'm dating to put on, to dress like Dr. Melfi and pretend I'm fucking my therapist. I got you this blazer and this wig and these glasses. Do I have to...

So, yeah, dude, I don't think this is something to beat personally. I think this is something to continue. Embrace your embrace. It makes you happy. Embrace it. Unless you don't. It doesn't make you happy. Also, I mean, just do what feels good until it doesn't feel good. Or if it feels good, date an older woman. And maybe. Yeah. And I would say I would say.

There's been plenty of times where I'm about to have sex with a girl and I just don't get hard. And every single time I've had sex with an older girl or an older woman, I get really, really turned on by it. I've been fucking a bunch of dudes and my dick doesn't work. But those are fucking women. And I was like, I get really hard. I think I'm attracted to women.

It's crazy. Just do. Yeah, just keep going. My advice would be the opposite of this to you. Try dating somebody who turns you on and then just see how it goes. You're young. You're not that old. You got years ahead of you. I would say you owe it to yourself to see if a relationship with somebody that you are super attracted to works out. I don't think this is an issue. Mazel tov. Try and get your dick sucked by a woman older than you.

You give good advice, Stavi. I just think, and you know, I just, it just, it, I'm literally, and I would, I'm literally, I would give the same advice if you weren't here. No, I know. But it is, this is, you, like, you've gained. I've definitely, I've definitely done my, you know, I've been with some older women and it's, hey, they're fucking hot, man. Especially if you keep it tight and you're older, it's like extra hot, I think. Oh, absolutely. Because you're like, that's a person who's taking care of themselves. Yeah, and that, and you know,

you know, like, you can kind of, like, see the future as opposed to, like, you just date a hot younger girl. You're like, who knows what the fuck's going to happen to this bitch in 10 years, you know what I mean? All right. Here's with another one, Big Eld. Hi. I just moved in with my boyfriend. We've been dating for two years. We've been friends for three years. He about...

I think that's the right reference. Yeah, that's the guy who helped people kill themselves. That's just a doctor she's heard of.

That's definitely not. Some Dr. Phil shit. Yeah. Okay. Some Dr. Melfi shit. Totally rejecting it. It's constantly using, like, yellow pus. Ew. He's limping. He has to go on all fours to get up the stairs. He's turned into a cat? He's a 40-year-old man. That's a tough one. On all fours going up the stairs because he can't fucking walk. Ooh.

And he refuses to go to the doctor. Why? I've asked him as a friend. I've asked him as a girlfriend. And now as a live-in girlfriend. Damn, but you moved in with this guy?

call the ambulance and force his body into it. I'm 5'3" and he's 6'2". Not on all fours, he's not. I will do it if I have to. But I wanted to ask if there's any advice from Stav or Eldis or the guest about just dealing with a stubborn-ass man that is ready to lose his foot, like literally have his foot amputated as opposed to just going to the goddamn motherfucking doctor. So if you have any advice as to how I can...

make this happen or if I should just start banging an amputee instead. This is crazy. Much appreciated. Thank you. What the fuck is this? Love you. The only reason I can even think of is that he doesn't have health insurance. That's the only scenario. Yeah, maybe. But even then, it's like, dude. I would eat the money to make sure I have a fucking foot. You can't walk?

shit's coming out of your fucking ankle. The thing is coming out of your ankle. It's constantly infected. It's oozing pus. I had a fucking hangnail here that was fucking infected and I wanted to kill myself. Like, I can't even imagine that. You can't get upstairs. Young me probably would have avoided it at all costs, but not at this level. 40 years old, bro. He's 40 and his fucking ankle's fucked up. Like,

Yeah again When I was young Yeah I mean yeah I avoided the doctor constantly Yeah But at this age You're right You gotta fucking go

This sucks. How to make him go is a crazy thing. It would suck to... This is a thing that sucks to learn about a person once you live with them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Because you really should get this level of stubbornness out of the way. No, fully. But living with them? Well, it sounds like she moved in with him like before...

or this was an issue even before she moved in with him or at least maybe it was about to be she said I've asked him as a girlfriend I've asked him as a live-in girlfriend either way I mean it's tough because you can't be like you can't be like damn bitch you should have fucking made him do this or you should have been like either go to the doctor or I'm not moving in or something but

But he won't go. That's crazy to me. That would, I mean, I don't want to tell you to live your life, but this would maybe be reason for me to leave someone because this is telling about other shit. Yeah, I know. I hate that. I hate having that reaction too. But it's like, this is, you're in deal breaker territory. Yeah.

You really are. Yeah. He's on all fours. You know how fucking soft my dick would be if I was dating a woman who just walked on all fours like she's in the fucking Exorcist or something? I know. I'm sorry. It's gross. Women are hilarious what they'll put up with. Yeah. This is crazy. This guy's acting like a fucking baby. Doesn't want to go to the doctor. I feel like she's in the right to be like, let's get in the car or Uber or whatever and go to the ER right now.

And if you don't, I'm going to call the ambulance. Yeah. It's not like he's going to run away or anything. Yeah, yeah. But what if he refuses? What if he's just like that level of crazy? I mean, he's not like, they can't strap him down. Yeah. You know what I mean? He's not incapacitated. Yeah. She could, you could knock him out.

You could dose him with drugs, call the ambulance and be like, my boyfriend has such, his foot is so infected, it's knocked his brain unconscious. Please check him out.

And that's something. But the fact that we're even going here is a sign that you should probably leave. Let's be real. This dude's got problems. Yeah, I mean, you've asked him this many times and you want us to figure it out? He's got a fucking screw coming out of his fucking ankle. Puss? She's so frustrated, too. You could just tell. She was wording it like she was making the call and he was sitting right next to her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, buddy, if you're listening, you're a fucking idiot and a piece of shit.

Go to the doctor, you dumb asshole. And there's no way he's fucking her well if he's on one leg. He's like, ouch, ouch, ouch. Yeah, he's hopping. I'm going to give you the pogo stick, fuck. Let me get in there. The pogo stick. He's like, no, I can still fuck. Yeah, he's figured that out. It's no big deal. All right, get on top, whore. He's just laying on his back.

Yeah, I mean, this is crazy. This is like scary. I know. No, this is literally like imagine your significant other. There's something clearly wrong with them and they won't go to the doctor. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you've moved in with him. I don't know what to tell you, but I don't know.

Does he have... Okay, let's actually try and give you something tangible here. Does he have friends, family? Like, is there somebody you can recruit? Family's big. Almost intervention level of like, hey, I don't know if you guys know how bad his fucking foot is, but I'm really scared he won't go to the doctor. Can you guys please help me? An annoying mom would be big here. An annoying mom would be really big. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Some guilt...

Russell up some immigrant guilt if he has some that would be or Jewish two of the best in the guilt business yeah that's like friends or family or just kind of intervention style is the closest thing I can come up with to a semi practical solution other than this man is out of his mind and you have to give him an ultimatum like you're gonna fucking leave him if he doesn't do this shit but yeah good luck toots I don't know what to tell you

We'd love to keep talking forever, folks, but we have some basketball to watch. Let's do one more. Maybe we can do the classic move of ordering Seamless while we're on the podcast. Let me take a quick piss. Take a piss. You want some Greek food, buddy? One more to sign us off.

Hey Stav, super producer eldest and esteemed guest. I'm a 31 year old guy with a wife and a four year old kid. Nice. Um, I was wondering, is it weird to jack off to completion into a sock? Um, for a little bit more context, sometimes it's, you know, the socks that I wore that day. Sometimes it's a fresh sock out of the drawer. Every time it ends up in the laundry with everyone else's dirty clothes. Um,

Yeah, let me know. Thanks. I feel like that's what you do in high school or college. It's not like adult shit. This is undignified, man. So then you're what? You or your wife is just lifting up your stiff sock? First of all, you reacted to the fresh sock. The one you wore that day is fucking gross to me. I guess, but you don't want to waste a fresh sock with jizz. Yeah, but also, I don't want a fucking sweaty, on-my-foot-all-day sock wrapped around my cock. That's good.

You don't want that as a cum rag? Also, I don't know. Just fucking... Be a fucking... Go green. Shoot a load in your fucking hand and wash it in the sink. Thank you. Me and Elvis have had many discussions. I usually just shoot a load into the sink. Into the sink. Yeah. I just will like, you know, jack it up in the sink. Interesting. I am... I...

I will probably, it's in my hand and then I probably use like a napkin or something personally. But in the hand is easy too. As long as you're not too backed up you make a mess. Eldest is a belly guy. He comes on his own belly. I'm too hairy for that. Isn't that true? For special occasions. Eldest.

Eldest, are you hairy, though? He's very hairy. Oh, yeah, I'm hairy. But isn't that a whole situation when you get that, like, dry hair? Isn't that awful? No, I'm pretty, like, vigilant with a Kleenex. So I, like, hit it with a Kleenex right after. And I'll do that. On special occasions. I'll do that if it's, like, you know, if I'm, like...

I'll like strip down naked and fucking, I'll just like, I'm about to shower. Give me one of these special occasions. Shower's a good one. That makes sense. Not special occasion, but it's like, okay, I need to take a shower anyway. Okay, I'm treating myself. I'm beating off on my belly, kind of like jumpstart the whole shower process. Yeah, yeah, yes, yes. I like to take those like Jorian showers. You do, you do, you do. I see, I see. You know, up on the belly is a, it's.

That's a wild move, man. I've done it. Usually I'm with a woman and she does it to me. It's not like... Yes, coming on your own belly is crazy. It's just a big cleanup. It's the same reason I don't take out eight dishes when I'm cooking at home. I'm just cooking for myself. The juice ain't worth the squeeze. Yeah.

Now, is it weird? Yes. You've outgrown this, my friend. You have a wife. You have a child. Better than jerking off into his socks. Yeah. Although they make your dick look awesome. Putting a baby sock on your dick. It's got a little stripe. You're like, whoa, dude, my dick is so big. In your head, you're like, these are adult-sized tube socks, not a baby's tube socks. Yeah.

Yeah, dude. Jack, this is crazy. You're making your... I mean, unless... Okay, unless you do the laundry, then keep jacking off on whatever socks you want. I still think it's a weird move. I buy socks I really like. I wouldn't want to... These are fucking... These are fun, these socks. Those are nice socks. Oh, yeah, I wouldn't want to jack off on those. I wouldn't want to jack off. I like socks that fit well. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Also, you just know that every time you put a sock on, Jizz has been here forever.

It's like, look, have I in a pinch cleaned my hands with a sock when I thought I had Kleenex next to me and I didn't? It's happened. Sure. But I don't like knowing that every single sock in my... It's kind of like the kids in the hall ass penny sketch where it's like... I don't know it. You don't know that sketch? It's so funny. The guy's basically like, a power move is to put pennies up your ass because then any of your enemies or anybody that you're like...

negotiating against like a business guy has probably handled your ass pennies. Like it's a very funny, I basically ruined it but it's a good, I would still watch it. It's a good sketch. That's the thing.

I wouldn't like knowing that the majority of my socks have had jizz in them, even if it's my own jizz. I just don't want to know that. So, yes, we have ruled officially it is weird to jack off the completion of your socks all the time. Just get some Kleenex going. Keep a Kleenex supply in the bedroom. Get some Kleenex. It's the same as a sock, really, when you think about it. And easier to just throw a cummy Kleenex.

Kleenex away. Great point, Elders. Let's clean up. Come out of your socks. Yeah. Yeah, let's clean up. Yes. All right, folks. Well, that's going to do it. Watch tomorrow. Watch the special on Netflix, Fat Rascal. Go see Sam live. You know, he's going to be in. I think I'm in Tampa and Fort Myers this weekend, and then I'm going back to clubs for a while. Back in the clubs. Springfield, Madison, Philly. Springfield. All over. Yeah, buddy. This fucking guy.

Go see him. Dania Beach, fucking... It's a good club. Dania Beach is actually good. It's a good club. I like Dania Beach. I only go to OKC. I'm fucking... I'm only in good rooms leading up to the special in Boston, which should be sold out by now. All right.

The Wilbur's. That's going to be fun. Yeah, yeah. It's definitely sold out by the time this comes out. It's going to be awesome. Go watch Sammy. Go watch the special. We love you. Thank you for one year of Stavi's World. The podcast, we haven't really talked about it, but I'm blown away by how much you guys have supported it. We succeeded beyond mine and Eldest's wildest dreams. So thank you. Tell your friends. Let's grow. We're actually going to work harder on the podcast.

We just kind of fucked around this year. We will actually try a little... Not a lot. I don't want to promise anything crazy. We're not going to try that much harder, but just a little bit. We're going to make it a little bit better. We're going to work a little bit harder. It's work, man. You're fucking... You're doing work. Thank you, buddy. Thank you. Thanks for listening, guys. Happy one year. Here's to, I don't know, seven more, max. Hopefully my career goes good enough where I don't have to podcast until I'm an old man. But...

Thank you. We love you and we'll talk to you soon. Bye-bye.