#49 - Louis Katz
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The Fat Rascal Tour is ending. My big final shows of the Fat Rascal Tour are December 1st. One last show at the Beacon Theater. Two shows sold out already at the historic Beacon Theater. If you want to be a part of the last show I ever do with this hour, this material, go to the Beacon Theater Friday, the first, late show, 10 o'clock. It's going to be awesome. And why am I going to stop doing that material? Because...

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That's hellotushy.com slash stave. That's the big show, final show at the Beacon Theater, December 1st and the special December 5th. Now, let's play the music again, Eld. Welcome everybody to Stave's World, 904-800-STAVE.

We're very happy to have my boy Louie Katz in the studio. What's up? What's up, buddy? Just put out a special, present tense, on YouTube right now. That's right. He's doing fucking great. Hilarious. Very good special. Yeah, buddy. Everybody go watch it. And Louie, thanks for being here, man. Dude, thanks for having me. I've seen all the clips. It's crazy to be here actually in studio. I mean, wow. Yeah, we flew him out to Greece. We're going to go for a dip right after this.

Dude, that's the dream of this podcast is like we just find a way to add. This is the backdrop. We're just in a villa. You should do that. We're on the balcony. That would be incredible. Okay, I don't want to give away too much about our summer plans. This is the plan. But me and Eldis, we're trying to figure out a way to like rent a sick house in Greece and just like, you know,

do like enough podcasts where it is technically a business expense and we can write it all off. I think you can totally do that. Maybe you can like save some refugees from the sea, have them come in. Let's not get crazy. We're trying to run a business, Louis. Now do they know how to edit clips? That is actually, that would be fucking hilarious, dude. We got to turn some Palestinians into like clip editors. That's how we're going to help this whole thing.

Let's get a ceasefire. Stop the occupation. And let's teach them how to fucking put clips on pussy jokes. It's true. Why haven't they tried crowd work over there? That's the key. I know. We're going to go. We go over just the least useful shit of all time. Comedians being like, we'll teach you how to do crowd work. That's how I got my family out of poverty.

That can buy a lot of rockets. That can buy a lot of snipers pointed at Netanyahu, my friend. Oh, fuck, dude. Yeah. I think you can do the real villa thing. I think that's totally doable. Hopefully. We got to like... I'm trying to take a ton of time off next year, just not be on the road. And so I think I want to spend a month in Greece. And if we can just tack on...

Stavi's World. If I can convince a couple comedians to take their vacation in Greece. Why wouldn't they? And then just come on by for a couple days to the Stavi's World villa. But then everyone can write it off. That's what I'm saying, dude. I mean, I don't know. Everyone can write it off. Yeah, yeah.

This is a great plane. I'm saying I'm in already. All right. Come on through, brother. So, yeah, dude, thanks for coming through a bit. You know, it's nice to it's I'm happy that you put the special out. Hilarious comic. If you guys don't know Lou, you got to go check his shit out. And very funny special. And it was I mean, you you shot it. You said you shot it a while ago, right? Dude, I shot it last May. So it's been almost like almost a year and six months that took me putting it together.

Not only... It took a long time. In between, then I also got married, which is... I know. That's what I was... I was like... Because it was shit. I was like, this is funny, but I was like, he's talking about being single. Yes. And I was like, I thought he was married. You know what I mean? I feel bad about it because the special's about going through a horrible breakup and being sad and alone. And now I'm married and happy. So I'm actually kind of trying to hide that. Like, yeah, I feel bad for me. It's so sad, but...

The truth is things are all right. It has a happy ending. The special's doing well and I got a wife. It would be so funny if this catapults you into fame and you cheat on your wife. You're back to square one. You put out a special about how happy and married you are right now.

By the time it comes out, you've got all this road pussy and you've ruined your finally good life. You finally figured it out. And you're like, nah, the special went viral, bitch. Get to stepping. I'm out.

Yeah, no, it is interesting because the special is like this, you're like, yes, it's like a snapshot of a guy who's really trying to figure his shit out. Yeah, thanks. You know, like there was like, yeah, you were going through the breakup, you're talking about being single, and then it was like, you're like a first time therapy patient in it. Well, that's true. I didn't do, I never tried therapy before and only like recently that's like new for me.

It's crazy how fucking neurotic and crazy I am. It took me so long. It's kind of embarrassing. If people, they don't even have to know you. They just need to look at one picture of you. And literally at any stage of your life, you've looked at like four different types of Jewish people. You know what I mean? Like now it's classic. You've aged into this. This is it for the next probably 20 years. It's going to get funnier and funnier. It's going to get funnier and funnier. The nose will get bigger. The ears will get bigger. Yeah, yeah.

It's going to get crazy. At a certain point, you got to grow it out. That's what I want to do. I want to go full Curly. I just want to wait till the top goes down and then I just want to go full Larry David. Dude, that was, that was, I always said until the pandemic, my goal was, cause I've always had like this weird diffuse. Like when I went bald where I was like, where I was like, fuck, if I had a horseshoe,

I would be growing it out. That was always my cowardice. But then the pandemic happened. I was like, let's just see what happens. Best decision I've ever made in my life. I've never felt more myself than a guy with hair like this. It's awesome. No, it's weird how like some of those transitions, like, do you know, Shane Wang is one of my best friends. You see him, he like,

He went full, like, he has full long hair now. Yeah, I do think that happened in the pandemic for a lot of people. We were cowards who didn't want to try it out in front of people. And then with Nothing But Time, we're like, this is what I'm really like. Yeah, but it's also weird how it's like, oh, this is how you should have been the whole time. Like, this is the form. You have, you know, this is your final form. Yes. I've had many people, Eldest included, be like, it's so weird you haven't had this hair forever. Yeah.

Because I was fucking completely, I was like cue ball. Probably when we met, I was completely cue ball. Not even like, you know, I might not even have the mustache when we met. I was just completely hairless when I first got to New York. And that was strange. And then actually, even the mustache was like a weird...

I got this fucking jaw. I had like a benign tumor. Oh, shit. Before I knew it was benign, believe me, I was fucking scared. That's horrific. Because I was broke. I was like, we had just started making a little money on Compton, but nothing, not enough to cover unexpected jaw cancer. You know what I mean? Not a new jaw. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it fucked me up so much that I just like,

I didn't like touch my face at all and like I had a ton of growth and I was just shaving it off and I started with this and I was just like, huh.

whoa, this is kind of funny. This is mustache. And I just like tried it out the way you do. And people were like, whoa, dude, that looks kind of cool. And I was like, really? And I was like, all right, we got a new thing. It was before the tooth came out, too. I had a mustache. Then the tooth came out. It's been a lot of stuff. You've had a lot of classic looks. A lot, yeah. The worst is when you film something when you're going through a bad look. Yes. I have my, this is not happening. I have a mustache beard combo. Okay. Mustache, stuff.

stubble beard combo, which is like, it's not even a thing really. You know what I mean? They invented a new form of facial hair that doesn't look right. That's an extra dirtbag move. Pull that up, Elders. Come on. Fucking do some producing for God's sake. I heard you typing. I was like, oh, he might be doing his job. And no, of course not. God knows what you were up to. What the fuck were you even typing if you weren't looking that up, asshole? Tell me. Tell the people what you were typing. This business, I had to text something to Ben.

Okay, all right. Likely story. I got the logs. No, all the company devices are surveyed, so...

Stop him pulling it up from his laptop. You can never let an Albanian to his own devices, Louis. If you're ever unfortunate enough to have an Albanian working for you, you have to keep him under watchful eye the whole time. Let's pull up Louis Katz. This is not happening. He wasn't even fucking listening. He can't even. He couldn't even. He has no idea.

Oh, yeah, that's tough. Which is it? Is it a mustache? Is it a beard? It's neither. And you know what? Okay, here's the one that I love, though. Go to Louis Katz Comedy Central half hour. That's a decent look, I thought. Let's find out. Let me see how I remember it. The bad one is Fallon. My Fallon is a mustache with a soul patch, kind of like a Colonel Sanders, like a Jewish Colonel Sanders look. No, that's not a dumbass. That's the one he's got. Come on, man.

Just look at it. Images. God damn. If you go to my channel, it'll have something somewhere. There, that one on the right. That's it. Oh, okay. You know, that wasn't as bad as I remembered it. No, it's just my face. It's just my face. Yeah, you're right. What I'm recoiling is your face.

I thought your hair was floppier for whatever reason. Did you ever shoot something with like floppy hair? Am I misremembering? I haven't had floppy hair since I was in like high school or something. Okay. I don't know why in my head because I was, I watched the, your half hour came, what year was that? Maybe 2011 or something. Yeah, because that was like right in the height of like

I was like, that was the career goal for me. So I was like watching all of them. So I remember that class of half hours really well. It's crazy. Chris DeStefano was like, I was there in the front row. I was like, wow, I wish you fucking put me on your podcast. Yeah. How about something for the members? Yeah.

Chris was wiping shit off of paraplegics' balls during the day and then going to see Louis do his half hour at night. Now look at him, dude. Theaters, cheating probably. Putting his trans uncle slash...

Step uncle slash step aunt on his podcast reviews. My how things change. Fuck, dude. But yeah, I get. Yeah, but you have had a couple a couple hilarious looks. But my point is any look you would never look at that guy and be like, he's not been to therapy.

Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, the whole package. When you said that in your special, I was like, what? This motherfucker's never been to therapy? I have that. It is a classic. Like, people also say, like, you know, I'm not actually from New York, and people are surprised at that. I think it just means, it's just Jew, Jew, Jew. It's basically what they're saying. You should be in therapy. You should be a New York Jew in therapy. Right. And I only became that a few years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where, wait, where did you grow up? I'm from L.A. You're from L.A., that's right. That's classic, too, though. I...

If you know, you know, but some people don't know. There's a lot of Jews out there, but people always think I'm from New York. I think it's because my dad is from New York, so it's like there's Brooklyn history and all that kind of stuff. Yes, yes. So you grew up in L.A.? I grew up in L.A. Born and raised? Born and raised in L.A. proper, not actually from there. Yeah, it's weird. It seems like there's...

I mean, just as like there's few people actually from New York, there's few people actually from L.A., you know? Yeah. It's a trip growing up there. It's like my substitute teachers would be like struggling actors and shit. Oh, dude, I bet some of the hot... There was a lot of beating off to be done to substitute teachers in L.A. Dude, there was the Conan Barbarian, like spectacular at Universal Studios, the Red Sonja. She was our substitute teacher. Yeah.

Oh, my God, dude. That's incredible. The level of... Because you didn't have to be hot to get jacked off to by middle schoolers. No. But if you were... You're almost spoiled. You didn't know... This is not what random women look like. No, no, no, no. You never had to make do with a fat bitch with a lazy eye whose one of her nipples was poking out and you're like...

I could do some with this. If I could see it, I was down. But my standards are all over the place anyway, regardless. It doesn't have to do with being from L.A. I got a wide range of things that interest me. That interest you? Yeah, yeah. Interesting, yes. I mean, I remember, again, when I was probably first...

Because I also opened for Bobby. Yeah. And so seared into my memory is a YKWD appearance you did where you talk about drinking breast milk. Oh, yeah. That was like, that like literally is like before I knew you personally, I just kind of knew you from your half hour and shit. And then after we like met and I watched because I was on that show a lot and I was hanging out with Bobby a lot. You were to me, I was like, ah, yes, Louis Katz, the breast milk guy. Yeah.

The guy who drinks human breast milk from black women. That's literally who you were for like three years in my head. It was white woman breast milk at the time. It was? Oh, did I confuse two? No, I date a lot of black women, but the breast milk I drank was white woman breast milk. I just want to finally set the record straight. You're a breast milk white supremacist. You're like, look, what I do in my sexual spare time is one thing, but I would never put unpure black breast milk in my body.

They have different enzymes that the white stomach cannot deal with. I will drink anyone's breast milk. I've just only had the pleasure of drinking white woman's breast milk. I am down for any kind of breast milk.

Dude, my friend, there used to be a place in New York where you could get breast milk cheese. That's fucked up, dude. And it was underground because they wouldn't homogenize it. They were like, it was raw breast milk cheese. I don't know if it was just the homogenization. That was the problem. It was probably harvesting human milk. Might also be the problem. Yeah, dude. Just like the same Chinese ladies that do nails. They just have them hooked up to fucking breast pumping machines. Like...

Just they're human trafficking everything they could. They're jacking people off a massage parlors. They're doing nails and they're getting pumped. And you're like, this is a good breast milk brie that I'm having. But it's just for homogenization that I can't buy it legally. I can't use my credit card to buy it. That is a very interesting philosophical gray area where it's like, can you buy... First of all, is it...

Would your wife have a problem with you drinking somebody else's breast milk? There's an element of like, is this cheating weirdly? No. Even though it's not. Come on. That's not cheating. Look, I'm just saying there's an argument to be made of like, maybe it's not cheating, but it's...

It's so like... Well, give me your breast milk then. Give me some of your breast milk. If you don't want me to, I'm going to have to go out in the streets and get breast milk. Here's the problem. Here's where your argument falls apart. You don't need breast milk. Don't I? You are malnourished. If you have a doctor's note... I'd be taller with hair if I had breast milk, man. What if we all started drinking breast milk? All our issues went away. It was like stem cells. My dick grows. I'm not as fat as shit anymore.

That would be fucking sick, dude. But yes, there is like a... What is the other thing that comes out of a human body that you would buy? Like, okay, hair, right? We have weaves made of real human hair. Sure.

but you don't consume it like you do milk. Well, I mean, pussy juice. Yeah, but that's clearly sexual. Yes. No one's buying pussy juice. Why is no one sold that? There's not a real market for it. I think there is. You think? You're a big excretions guy. Oh,

All about the excretions. Here's the thing. It's very context dependent. When I'm out of the Pussy Juice Arena, I don't want to see it. When it should be there, great, naturally. But I don't want to come across it on a shelf.

You know what I mean? I mean, I know what you mean. And you don't know where this juice has been. But I'm saying like, dude, when I when I've like having the beard. Yes. I've gone down. Of course. And then it's in the beard. I'm walking around that day. Confidence, dude. Yeah. Just walking around smelling pussy everywhere. So you think it's more. Yes. I see what you're saying. As a like almost like a cologne. Yes. Dab a little pussy juice. That's what I'm saying. Right here. That's what I'm talking about. For yourself. Yeah. Okay. All right. All right. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting.

But yeah, it's just very, there's just no way you could commercially sell breast milk because it is such a, it's such a strange gray area of like, let's say you homogenized it. It would still feel wrong and weird to drink breast milk. Well, it tastes all right. I mean, I'm not saying that it tastes, yeah. It's sweet.

But the girl whose breast milk you drank, you were dating her at the time? No, no. It was... Oh, she was just friends. She was a comedian. My friend's wife. I was like, let me have some of that milk. Really? And she gave me a sip. I misremember this whole story. I thought it was a girl you were dating. No, no. It's kind of blown up. This is good. We're setting the record straight, folks. This is it. He's not... Because to me...

drinking platonic breast milk seems so fucked up. Even though, even though I guess you get it from your mother, which is a whole Freudian thing. It's just milk, man. I don't know. What, do you have to have a relationship with the cow? You don't, you don't. What are you talking about? All right. You know what, you're right. My mistake, I was thinking of women as human beings. That is my fault. All right.

And I fucked up there. You're right. They are cows or whores for us to use, whether it be for our sexual gratification or for our dairy needs. Women are interchangeable cows. That's a good point. I fucked up, Louie. I'm sorry. My point is rescinded.

Eldest, way in here. How do you feel? Would you drink platonic breast milk or only breast milk from one you love? I don't know. Did you like seek it out or how did it come up in Cabo? Judge Eldest. Judge Eldest. Look, if it's like you're at a dinner party or something, just had a kid, you guys want to try a shot of breast milk or something, I would take a little sip. See, there you go. That's what happens. I don't want the cup of breast milk poured just for me.

I didn't drink a whole cup. I'm just greedy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The baby needed some. There was a baby that needed the milk. I just took a little squirt. Yeah, let me get a little bit of that. Yeah, I would try it. I don't know. It's not that weird. Like, I would try a woman who I had a child with breast milk. Dude, I would be competing with that kid. Give me some of that milk. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Half for him, half for me. That's the only fair. I bet you if shit got dire, ooh, you think cavemen ever had babies...

To kill them and drink the breast milk? Yes. Yeah, probably. That's like some, what was that, Cormac McCarthy shit. Yeah, The Road. Yeah, that's one of the deleted chapters of The Road is drinking breast milk. And the baby's on a spit. That's in that book. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fucked up. That book is fucked up. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe I'm the one with the hang-up here. Sounds like it is. But I just wouldn't. Like, we have a good friend who had a kid.

I don't know that I would drink her breast milk. Even if they're like in our culture, please don't offend us. Okay, maybe, yeah. Maybe if I have to trick them into selling me Manhattan, I'll take a squirt. But otherwise, for a couple beads. But otherwise, I think I would present, you know. I mean, I was thinking of her specifically in my head. Stop. You would drink her breast milk? Would I drink her breast milk? And it's like, you know.

I wouldn't request it when... I wouldn't request it when I'm crashing at her house with, like, her fucking husband and baby or if it just were. But, you know, there's, like, a lot of people. It's sort of like a party trick or something. It's not like she's, like, feeding the baby. I'm like, hey, give me a squirt. It was a drive. It was...

There was a bottle in the fridge. It's got to be cold, first of all. If it's warm, that's fucked up. If it hasn't been kind of processed a little bit, in a bottle, in the fridge, I do not need it straight from... Definitely titty to mouth. Okay, this is interesting, then. Titty to mouth should be someone you're involved with. Titty to mouth needs to be your wife or whatever, woman you have a child. The child must be yours if you go titty to mouth. Warm...

The child can possibly not be yours, but you must be dating her. You know what I mean? Cold. Now we're starting to have some discussions. Anyone can have it. But I still think I'm out, personally. Like, I would be pissed if somebody drank my wife's breast milk. I'll say that. Really? I think so. Oh, it's a jealousy thing. I just feel like this is not for you.

Do you know what I mean? See, I feel the opposite. I feel like I don't want titty to mouth at all. I don't want any sexual aspect of it, even if it's someone not dating. Suckling out, no. But if she's like a clown with seltzer water out of a flower, if she does that and you catch it, that can be your wife. I knew a lady in Brazil, she had so many kids that she would squirt the other kids, like, hey, get the fuck out of here.

What the fuck? Yeah, yeah. Fuck off, kids. You know? Get them in the night. She sounds cool. Yeah. Wait, Louis, so what did it taste like? You said it was sweet. It was sweet. It was almost like a sweetened condensed milk, but like more, less thick. That sounds good. That sounds good. Fucking good, dude. Now, if you don't tell me what it is, and you're like, I have a pretty nice little dessert beverage, I think it's good.

I think I'd be fine. You can't trick people into drinking. That's worse. You can't trick someone into drinking excretions. Okay. You gotta have consent, man. If it's a trick, then that's actually very illustrative there because if it's not just good enough to serve without someone signing a fucking waiver, it's a little fucked up.

You know what I mean? Well, I guess. I mean, it's like... You'd never have to check and be like, hey... It's like a diabolical dinner party you're seeing and you watch everyone eat their panna cotta and you're like, do you know what you just ate? What's going on? I'm just saying, dude. I'm just trying philosophically to get to it. Maybe there is something Freudian where I have it linked. It's maternal, but then once it's your wife, then it's like, you know...

It's either got to be the mom or your wife in a very Freudian way. That is kind of crazy, actually. Those are the two people's milk you can drink. That is crazy. I know. It's fucked up, but I think it's human psychology. Yeah, you drink a third milk, dude. There's something...

I don't know. I find it... And here's the thing. If I were to even have a squirt in a scenario where you're saying, it would have to not be a close friend and it would have to be a lady, I kind of want to fuck. It would have to be like a weird flirtatious party thing the way you're... Like what you're describing, but it couldn't be somebody that I...

I'm super close with. For me, it just isn't sexual at all. I just am curious what it tastes like. You're more enlightened than I am. I'm taking a more scientific approach. I like to try everything. This is like food, like whatever. I want to try it. For most things, I want to try the things in the world. So that's all it was. It wasn't necessarily sexual at the time. It was just like, whoa, it's in there. Let me try it. It's weird. Let me try it. I like that kind of shit. That's fair. Yeah.

I just feel, I just wanted to really talk this out with two scholars, two modern day philosophers, because that was, that was literally how I knew you, was breast milk Louie for like a year. That was like the main thing I had in my head. People still remember that shit. It's weird. Like, I don't think, I really didn't think it was that big of a deal. I was like, yeah. You're like, this would be a nice way to kill seven minutes on a podcast. No.

Meanwhile, it was 10 years later. Yeah, people remember. Seriously, people, like random people that listen to the show. No, I know, dude. Yeah. And meanwhile, we just did another 12 minutes on that here. Yeah. Well, this was, again, more scientific. We kind of took it away. That was the jumping off point. Yes. But this was more of an academic discussion. Yeah, we really explored it. Let us know in the comments, folks.

Is it weird? Would you drink breast milk non-sexually without even a hint of sexually? Most people drink breast milk non-sexually. Let's remember that. Okay, not as a child. I'm not saying are you now a baby and do you need breast milk to survive? Stop really. It's just a big horny baby. There's no way around it.

My sippy cup. This is a giant version of how babies drink water. It totally is. That's hilarious.

I want some lively debates in the comments about this, though. All right. Hell yeah, dude. What are some other things you've tried that you're like... Some weird shit that you were like... Because you said you like to try anything. Was there one... Because the breast milk was pretty good. Was there one experience where you're like, let me dabble, where you're like...

Not for me anymore. Something that went south? Yeah. Could be a liquid, could be just a sexual experience, could be, you know, a vac... You know, whatever. Just something adventurous where you... Where it went south, where it turned on me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have anything? I mean, I like... Everything is like... It's even good when it's bad, is what I say. You know what I mean? It's like definitely sexual things. Because you've had your... Because you're like...

I at least experience... The experience is good. If you make it out and you're not permanently fucked up, it's all good. You know what I mean? No scarring. I mean, yeah, that this is not happening is a crazy story about falling in love with a semi-homeless lady. Probably a mistake.

I don't recommend dating the homeless. But, you know, it was an experience. You know, I'm glad I lived through it. That could have turned really south on me. And I'm lucky I walked away from that. So I'm just saying, but yeah. When you say semi-homeless, you mean homeless? Yeah.

I mean she didn't start off homeless and by the end she was. That's so funny to be dating someone during their decline into houselessness. Yeah man she had a very serious alcohol issue and she just kind of like lost it man. It was too bad but she was great and I don't regret it because I was lucky that I left it unscathed and it also was like a

I mean, not to be corny, but it was a big love of my life, to be honest. But, you know, but that could have... Get the... See ya, bitch. I'm going indoors. All right, this was great and all, but I have to go take a warm bath. I one time tried... I was... This is so long ago. I was still living in Baltimore. I was going on a weird tour...

Actually, with our friend Benny Buttcheeks, the other third member of our producing duo, our trio here, Ben O'Brien, directed my special. Great, great dude. Nice. I was opening for his alt comedy group probably 15 years ago at this point. Is that right? Yeah. Yeah.

14, 13 years ago, something like that. How long have you been doing stand-up? Since I was 19. How long? 34, so yeah, 15 years. Okay, right, so right when you started, basically. Right when I started. So this was probably, yeah, this was probably 13 years ago, pretty soon after I started. Mm-hmm.

Maybe 12. I don't remember which. I did a couple tours with them. But anyway, we were going through these, you know, we're playing these hilarious, like any DIY venue, a fucking hamburger place. You know, I'm getting paid. We're all touring in one SUV. How many people?

Like five. Every seat in the SUV was occupied. Where did you stay? Did you all stay in one room? Crashing in fucking floors. Sometimes in the venues. Sometimes we'd get one room, right? This was a one hotel room situation. And I am with the whole team. And we're in this weird venue in Atlanta that had just been lacquered. It had just been painted. The converted church one? That weird one?

I don't remember what it was. I can look it up later, but we're in this... It was like a weird art gallery. It was fucking downtown. You know how Atlanta... Now, you know how every downtown has been since the pandemic where homeless people are everywhere? Yes. Atlanta has been like that forever. That's what their downtown has been like. We were from Baltimore...

You know, grew up in Baltimore. I grew up in Baltimore. They had been in Baltimore for like, you know, 10 years, whatever. We were like, damn, this is fucked up. Right? Like, but the little, the venue was cool. They had just painted the floor. So everybody had to put on like Home Depot booties to like just even be in there. It was weird. Fumes are everywhere. Yeah, the fumes is what's concerning me. Fumes were fucked up. Fumes were fucked up. Really fun. Ended up being a really fun show. And I hit it off with this girl. And I'm not, you know, this was...

I think right after this tour, I started believing in myself, and I had a little pussy renaissance. You know, like... You had a pussy renaissance, yeah. This is right... This predated my pussy renaissance. That sounds like a Prince album. Yeah. So I was, like... I had fucked, like, you know... In my life, I had fucked, like, three women at the time. Sure. And I was, like, a college girlfriend, and then another weird quasi... I had no, like...

Again, no belief in myself. Just get pussy randomly. So this... I hit it off with this girl. She's like an artist. She's hot. She's weird. We're having a good time. And we were sharing a... Everyone's sharing a fucking one hotel room. We're gonna have to sleep on the floor. I'm like, see you losers later. I'm getting the fuck... I'm gonna get pussy with this girl. I'm gonna fuck her in her house. So we're fucking hanging out and, you know, we're making out in her car. She was just like...

We're hanging out at the venue, and eventually they kick us out. And, you know, I'm like, you know, let's go back to your place. She's like, oh, no, let's get a drink. And I'm like, okay, whatever, cool. We go to her, like, SUV. She has booze in there, which was cool but weird. But then I'm like, she's got a lot of stuff in this car. Oh, man. She's got quite a bit of home goods in this car. Oh, man.

Man. And so I'm like, all right, cool. And she's like, so then we go, you know, we go to a fucking bar and we're having like a fun time. She's like, let's go back to your hotel room. And I'm like, hotel room? I was like, uh, like, yeah, but you know, it's, uh, why don't we go to your place? And she's like, oh, I'm kind of, she's like, oh, I'm kind of staying with, uh, you know, my ex or something. I can't really go back there. And I'm like, uh,

Yeah, we can go to my hotel room. So now I'm just stalling. I don't have a hotel room. So I'm like, let's keep this night going. Maybe I get my dick sucked in this SUV or something. We go to a fucking gay bar in Atlanta. It's actually fun as shit. I'm making out and I'm grabbing a titty in the gay bar.

They just think you're a lesbian? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, look at that young queer couple. I really did, dude. I had the body of a young... I was, again, hairless, buzz cut. I looked like a fucking...

fat 20 year old lesbian for sure dude that's why everyone's like this is where they belong oh fuck I was wearing sweat like sweats I fully look like a gym style lesbian like a young PE teacher and I'm just I'm trying to make something happen right I'm trying I'm like alright let's fucking and she's like let's go to your hotel room and I'm like

You're both looking for someone to sleep that night. Yeah. Neither of us have a place. And I'm like, a homeless bitch? Like, what are the odds that I finally am getting pussy, strange pussy from a hot woman in my life, and she's homeless with nowhere to go? And dude, I pathetically, I'm like, yeah, we have a, I'm like, yeah, let's go to the fucking, yeah, my hotel's here. I think I was trying to book a hotel.

I had no money, right, in my life. It was like, the closest hotel was like $300. And I have no money, but I'm like, it's worth getting closer. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But she sees me trying to book a hotel room online. I was lying about having a hotel room. I'm like, yeah, no, we can do it.

we can go to my hotel, it's right down. I tried to book one right over there and it was sold out. I was like, actually, it's over here. Like, I'm being so not smooth. She catches a glimpse of me booking it and that was, she was like, what? You don't even have, she was like, you've been lying about, it could just fuck the vibes up. You know, when it's like, and meanwhile, it's like,

Bitch, you're homeless. You could have had a fucking place to shower. We couldn't have fucked. It was the lies. It was the betrayal. Now I would have obviously been able to handle this. I would have just been like, oh, okay. I mean, now I would just have my hotel room. It's actually awkward to book a... I found when I was... There was a while when I was living with my folks in LA. It's hard to make that step into we should get a hotel room. Because I feel like a woman, and rightfully so, wants to be able to...

bail at any moment. She's not feeling the vibe. There's kind of like an unspoken we're getting a hotel room, we're gonna fuck. And so they don't want to. You already have a hotel room. That's exactly right. It's the extra step

solely for pussy. Yes. Which is like, we all know that's what's happening anyway. Yes. But when it's explicitly laid out, when it becomes explicit instead of implicit. Exactly. It's a problem. It kills the mood. 100% true. Kills the mood. She has to be so down to do it. She has to, yes. And a lot of women don't even want to, they want to be able to back out any moment, which understandably. And who the fuck am I? It's like, I'm the opener to a lightly attended alt comedy show.

Who, by the way, my charms have worn off. It's been three, it's been like four hours, but we've been out all night. You're both trying to go to the other person's room if anyone has a room. Dude, if I had a holiday, if I had a room right from the thing, we would have just fucked, like, we would have had a fun time. Oh, yeah. I was like, want to go back? I was like, let's watch, you know, I'm doing, let's watch some show. She's like, we can watch that. Like, you're just doing something where you're like, oh, let's go back to my, you know, let's go back to your place and watch 30 Rock. She's like, I love 30 Rock, but let's go to your place. I was like,

If I had a hotel room, I'm getting sucked off watching 30 Rock. But then I also, I just extended it far too long. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When it's like, it's literally like, it's like 2 a.m. Oh, yeah. She's just tuckered out at this point. Dude, I've been, I used to be so bad at, I still probably am bad at it. Now I have a wife, so I finally closed one deal. But like, I used to be a horrible closer. Like, I would just like keep it going forever and it wouldn't go anywhere. You ever sometimes you like,

You're supposed to get to know each other on a first date. Sometimes you get to know too much. Of course. I wish I could have just fucked you. But now I know what kind of a crazy, horrific life you have. And this is, I can't do it now. I'm scared. I gotta go. That's happened to me. Fuck.

I've gone back to places that it was too fucked up for me to fuck, which even back in the days when I was like, I'm down for whatever. No, actually, some of them I did fuck, but it was horrible. You ever know a girl with... There's one girl with... Man, she had pet reptiles, man. That shit fucking stinks. Like two lizards in a studio apartment? Not good. Are you kidding me? You know, I have on multiple occasions had to pretend like rats were cute. Like...

crawling on me was good. Like before I fucked multiple. You fucked more than one woman with pet rats? I have fucked at least two, maybe three. That's your demographic? It's not my demographic. It's three out of a nice amount. Dude, I've never fucked a single woman with pet rats. Well, what can I tell you? Who am I as a lizard? Yeah, yeah, yeah. As a lizard pet owner. But there was something about rat where I was like, and I particularly, like look,

There's some rad people out there. Here's the thing. I will still fuck up because I will say this.

They were pretty hot. There is a type of weird rat girl on the internet that is hot as shit. For sure. And they're like artists. They were artists. They were like weird girls. You know what I mean? Oh, I totally get it. But I had to like, what a cute guy. Because my dick was hard. I had to be like, this guy is awesome. And then immediately I bust. I'm like, I got to get the fuck out of here. This is fucked up. Totally. But I was never...

Very rarely have I ever gotten to the place and not fucked. Even if things are a nightmare, and I've had some nightmare situations. Oh, I bet. Where I'm like... But in my head, I never even thought about the possibility of not fucking. Well, so the lizard one I did fuck. I'm just breathing through my mouth. I can't, like, it smelled so bad. I was like, I'm breathing through my mouth. But the one time I didn't fuck was this was...

I dated another girl in Portland, not the one from that one. And she was like one of the first suicide girls. Like the OG models. Good for you, man. No, but it didn't end up happening. I was like, I'm talking to her at the date. I'm like, what are you up to today? And she's like, oh, I've been icing down my pussy from all the fucking I've been doing. And I'm like...

I'm like, cool, I was writing some jokes. And I'm like, I don't know how to take that. I'm like, is this a joke? What do you mean? Then we go back to her place. It's like...

It's like too... You know, she like rents a room and there's too much stuff there. You know what I mean? It's like not a... And then we're kind of making out and then I look over and I see an ice pack and I'm like, I'm out. I'm out. I gotta go. You know what I mean? It's like, it's just that... An ice pack. It's just, I don't have any... It's like I just need... It's like out of sight, out of mind. Kind of with a woman. It's a similar... It's the flip side of what we were just talking about with the hotel room. It's like, it's like, it's implied this hot ass man

mentally ill woman with turquoise hair is getting dicked down. But now that it's been made explicitly clear, she got dicked down to the point where she's treating her pussy like it's LeBron James' knees after the finals.

you're like you know what I'm out I know you're getting fucked but when you've made it clear and it's like it's just the flip side for women it's like safety for men it's like I don't know not feeling cucked pre-cucked almost I don't even think it's the macho thing it's like just straight up a cleanliness like it's actually literally like a hotel room like a hotel room is for strange people to fuck in but

But I want to go in there and have no evidence that anyone's ever fucked in there. And if there's a slight bit of evidence, I'm out. I'm skeeved out and I got to go. I was in Brazil for the World Cup. And I'm thinking, man, maybe I'll go to a whorehouse. And then there was just a line down the block outside the whorehouse. The line is tough, dude. The line is tough, dude. You do not want to see that. Dude, imagine looking at the guy in front. The guy who's right in front of you. You know he just fucked the girl you're about to fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can't.

That's brutal. The line. It was like, it kind of, because I've been to Brazil a few times. I lived there for a year and it was like, it kind of ruined the vibe, the World Cup there because it's just, it's bros. It brings like the ratio is all fucked up in the whole town. It's just all dudes. And it's all fucking soccer hooligans. Yeah, dude. Just toothless British guys. Yeah, yeah. Give me some pussy, love.

Just that fucking guy spitting fish and chips. It's all that shit. Crazy Argentinians. It's all that shit. It's not a good vibe. Plus Brazil and Germany. You got those weird Nazis that live in Argentina and Brazil. I mean, my friends were rooting for Germany. I'm like, I can't. I'm sorry. I cannot root for Germany. Not in Brazil. Yeah.

Definitely not in Brazil. You can't refer Germans in Brazil. Couple fucking, the ones that got away might, are right around the corner, dude. I, dude, I saw a TikTok about like, that was like, it was like, it was like a fun facts TikTok and it's like, fun fact, there's a,

There's a community of German-speaking ethnic Germans in Brazil that's completely German. It's like, that is one of the least fun facts possible. That's just Nazis. It is purely the descendants of Nazis. They're not just Nazis. They were there before. I swear that. Seriously, I've studied this shit. Look, you think I want to know when there's Nazis. Do you know, this is a really funny fact. You ever Google this?

Do you know that before Adolf Hitler was the name of evil, it's just a popular name? Or the last name Hitler. So there's all these Hitlers in American history. And dude, you look up their names, it sounds like an SNL skit. There's George Washington Hitler. Dude. There's... I'm not...

That's fucking awesome. Dude, there's Gay Hitler. That's his name. You know how gay used to be a name? Yes, gay. His name was Gay Hitler, and there's a guy who's Gay Hitler out there. That's awesome. Right? Shout out to Gay Hitler. Yeah, this is a historical fact. There used to be bridges called the Hitler Bridge, and people were like, all right, we got to take down the Hitler Bridge. Oh, you're right, because it's just a German name. It's just a German name, yeah, yeah. A common German name. It's crazy. So those Germans were there before World War II, is what you're saying? Yeah, people immigrated. There was a...

German community in America when World War II broke out. Somehow they didn't end up in camps. I don't know why. I'm just saying there was probably a nice little influx in 1940, late 1940s, to those German communities. That's all I'm saying. That X-Men where the Magnetos go into the Nazis in Argentina. He takes their fucking feelings out. That's fucking awesome. Fuck, I love that shit. That was a fucking sick act. That's the coolest. That's the thing. It's like, Magneto, how can you not root for the guy? He's like,

He's a fucking... He's a Holocaust survivor that just owns Nazis. That's cool. Yeah, he's pretty dope. I like that better than the Bear Jew, actually. I thought that was more... That was like a cooler revenge fantasy for me, personally. Yeah, because that's like... Yeah, I mean, Tarantino's like historic... Like, historic revisionist history is very interesting. Yeah. He's a super interesting filmmaker. I mean, it is...

And then that was one thing with the, you know, Inglourious Basterds, great movie, obviously. But then it's like with the whole, the Tate murders, just kind of reimagining them, it's just an interesting move. And even Django, it's like, it's revenge. It's like, yeah, historical, like, you know, this guy got the better of the slave owners. Yeah, he kind of lets the victims kind of win in a kind of a way. Like, dude, that, I actually, once upon a, what was it called? Yeah, once upon a time in Hollywood. In Hollywood, like,

I liked it, but even at the end, I was like, wow, this is super violent. My mom saw it. She's like, I thought it was great. She was like, they fucking got what was coming to them. She was into it. I guess maybe she was around it. It was crazy. You know that movie, She-

He was so accurate with like all the commercials. She recognized the radio jingles because she's from Southern California from that time. Like she totally, like he did it that accurately. And your mom was anti-hippie or she was anti-Manson family? She was anti-Manson family and she was like, because he was giving a bad name to hippies. I don't think she picked up the, there's like a weird political thing in there where it's almost like the conservatives are the good guys. I think a little bit. A little bit. But that's the thing. That's why it's,

I'd have to watch it again because the first time I like to just watch a movie to enjoy it and not think about anything. Just be like, what's going on? This is cool. And I haven't given it a rewatch because I also like... It was like a... You know when you watch a movie and it's like a really...

It was just a perfect day. You know what I mean? Hell yeah. It was like a great day with, you know, so I was dating somebody at the time and it's like this weird, that's one of the good days in that relationship. Yeah. So like revisiting that, you bring your own shit to a movie like that where it's like, damn, I might just be sad watching this awesome movie because I'm like, what have I squandered? You know what I mean? Like,

The other flip side is like, or on a bad day, I'm like, four, we had like five actually good days in that relationship. One, that was one of them. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I do want, yeah, there is the thing of like, yes, Leo's character theoretically is like, he is the avatar for like,

the conservative part of Hollywood that was going away. But, you know, I don't know. I don't know what he's trying to say with that because Tarantino isn't that... You know, those aren't his values, you don't think. I don't even think that's... It doesn't matter... I think he just loves...

Like the movies. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. He keeps it kind of ambiguous in a way. I'm not saying he's saying that that's better. He's just saying, here's a version where that side kind of wins. It's like, it's just that old, that old timey, we're still the heroes, even though at the time counterculture was saying, fuck these old time dudes. You know what I mean? Yeah. They're passe. Right. Right. Right. Right. I think that's all. I don't think he's saying that this is better. It's just saying like, it didn't turn out that way. What if it did?

And also, one win. It's kind of like Django, where it's like, one win in that context doesn't change. Like, Inglourious Basterds is the weird one. It is a win. It's a full-on win. Inglourious Basterds is like, no, no, no. We flipped everything. And, you know, that's the only one. But those two are kind of like these pockets in time where it's like, these characters that I love get to win. You know? Anyway, who knows? I love that stuff. And I thought, you know what I think is, I don't know if people...

put in the same category, but I think Grand Budapest Hotel is also... I know people hate Wes Anderson. I don't hate him, but I think that... I think that hating Wes Anderson is hack at this point. Thank you. That's what I think. It's like the guy just does something. You can't argue that there is an artistry in what he does. Yes, except for that last one, which really sucked. I'm mad I paid for it. Really? It wasn't that good? I haven't seen it yet. I had a huge argument with my friend where I was defending him, and then I saw the movie, and I was like, damn, I can't believe... Really? What did I do?

Well, even, here's the thing. Whatever, anyone can have one bad one. And even if it's a bad one, at least he's doing something. Yeah, man. He has a vision. He has a way he likes to do things. It is more interesting when a filmmaker has a singular voice instead of, like, things being completely homogenized and, like, everything's on a fucking green screen and it's like everything's a fucking Marvel movie or it's trying to be a Marvel movie, right? Sure. So, like, I just, it's like with the NBA where it's like,

the league kind of gets a little boring and I think it's better now but in the heart of like the Warriors slag I don't know if you're a big hoops guy but it's like everything became threes or layups like everyone was playing basketball like on a basically

mathematical equation and it's more fun when there's teams that play different ways. Yeah, totally. And have like five, when there's teams that do fun, you know, weird things. Huge teams, small teams. I mean, I think that with comedy is that like, you know, I work the cellar a lot. I love the cellar. But still, I go there and it feels a little bit like a comedy factory. There's all these different rooms and I feel like

I don't know. Everyone's starting to sound the same. And I miss like... Do you know Pat Burscher? Have you seen him around? I don't know. He's a new comic. It's just like... I miss like weird comics who are just like not trying to...

break down some kind of crazy philosophical thing i just want to hear like weirdos doing saying like crazy shit that i never could have thought of myself it's really fucked up that exactly you're i think you're really right about that where it's like things have become a little too homogenized in comedy and i think we're getting to the point where you maybe we're seeing a little bit of like different styles almost where it's like regional like you know

clearly the, like the Austin comics, they have their own thing going there, right? Where it's like, I liked, I went to the Mothership, great, great club. And by the way, I like that the crowd is different than you'll get here, right? I was doing jokes, shitting on

Elon Musk and shitting on shit that those people love and it was fun you do those jokes in Brooklyn everybody sucks your dick even if it's not funny to make those jokes work in a club where they don't agree with you I like that that exists I even like going to like or the flip side of it it's like you know you obviously know San Francisco right that's where you started and it's like

And so I like going there because it's like, yeah, people complain when things are like too PC or whatever or like the audience is touchy, but it's like,

Like, that's a different place for you to get better and be different. Offend people. You're supposed to offend people and still make them laugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't agree. One of my favorite comedians of all time is Patrice O'Neill. I do not agree with half the shit he says, but I'm laughing my dick off at his interesting, funny perspective. Well, people, that's the weird thing about all this stuff is that, like,

I am excited kind of when I'm offended. I still get offended. I'm like, wow, I'm offended. Like, this is exciting. Like, I haven't felt like, oh, like, you shouldn't be saying this. And that's me as a comedian. Right, right. I don't know if you should say this. And I love that feeling. And then you're laughing. Yeah, yeah. I like not being, as long as I'm not offended by how shitty and lazy the comedy is. Yes. Some people should, and at the end of the day, it should just be, like,

Just be funny. Yes. And original. Funny. Funny is number one. Original and the truth. Almost in that. I could maybe flip original and the truth on it depending on the kind of comic you are. But like that's the three things. I think funny and original. I think the truth is a separate thing. I think it has to be funny and original. Yeah. I think they're like almost on the same thing. If you're striving for the highest levels. I mean like funny and unoriginal is a hack.

That's what it is. You know what I mean? That's a good point. That is what it is. That's a good point. So it has to be funny and original. And then the best is when it's the truth. Yeah. But sometimes it's fucking, it's Rodney. Rodney isn't the truth. Rodney's fucking, you know. Yeah, exactly. He got some respect. I don't know. Here's the thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's the thing, though. There is a truth to a guy who, you could tell the way that guy feels. And there is like, sometimes you could tell what the joke, jokey joke guys are like.

I've used this metaphor before, but almost through echolocation, where it's like their jokes, their jokes aren't telling you anything, but what they're joking about, their manner, the like... Oh, no, 100%. You can kind of put together... You know who Rodney Dangerfield is. Yeah, the best one-liner comics...

they're a character but the character has depth it's just three dimensional character like not just Rodney but the more modern examples are like um Attell or Hedberg yeah we're like this is you get the whole character that they're being up there absolutely but they're not just they're just short jokes you know what I mean the jokes are funny on paper yeah yeah yeah but it's their whole person you know totally totally um

Anyway, we like to not talk explicitly about comedy because that shit's boring on the podcast. Oh, it's my bad. No, no, no. No, I got into it too. But a little piece of it's always fun. Yeah. But there is nothing worse than a fucking podcast where it's like people are talking about the business for an hour. Well, actually, that's why I don't, I hang out with a lot of not comedians because I am

I get tired of talking about fucking comedy shit, dude. The fucked up thing is, once these cameras are off, I'll talk about this with you for a fucked up long time. Because I love thinking about it and talking about it. But I do want to talk... We got to fucking do questions. But you got to come back because there's so much shit I wanted to ask you about that I haven't been able to. Dude, I love... This is good. This was a good vibe, I think. Super fun. No, I want to talk about... You know, at some point... Because San Francisco is very interesting to me. That whole scene is... Because if people don't know, you can't... I mean...

Like I came up in D.C. at a time where I think there were a lot of really good comics that helped me become a good comic. You came up in a crazy, in a really cool, there's a lot of great comics in San Francisco. Well, I thought, I was like, man, our class is incredible. We're the best out there. And then I didn't know what was going on in Chicago at the time. I was like, oh, well, alright.

No, you guys had great comp. It's dope. It's like, it's me, it's Shang Wang, Brent Weinbach, uh, some people that aren't doing anymore that were dope, Jasper Red, Moshe Kasher, um, uh, Ryan Stout, uh,

Ali Wong, you know, basically. So it was a class. It was a strong class. That's cool. Chris Garcia, Kevin Comey, all kinds of hilarious comics out of there. But yeah, but then that Chicago scene, which is kind of like, I was like, oh man, these are the real, those are the, I mean, those are like huge stars. They're doing, but you know, whatever. All right, thanks. Fuck them. Fuck them. It's just, some people get lucky, some people don't. That's how it goes.

But then more importantly, I would love to ask you more about the prostitution in Brazil and living there for a year. You living there for a year is so funny. Yeah. That's one of the most like, that's one of the most like, I'm going to be a sex criminal. I'm taking a little, like, you know how people go backpacking? I'm going whoring across Brazil for a year. Dude, I wish I got a girlfriend there within two months and I was just with her. It's like...

I've made mistakes in love. I'm always falling in love and sticking around with someone. It's a mistake. I mean, except now with my wife who I love. Yes, yes, yes. It was like, definitely when I was younger, I think you're just always like kind of like,

by however you were raised. My parents are still together. And it's weird. I have this crew of friends that's still friends that we've known since like junior high. And almost all of us, our parents are still together, which is weird, right? Like most people go through divorce and stuff like that. But I think it doesn't, it teaches you to stay with somebody. It doesn't teach you how to choose that somebody.

You know what I mean? Because you're not around for that shit. You're just around for the, you stick this out. And so all of my friends are, like, the pattern is staying in, like, long-term relationships that they should have gotten out of earlier, you know? That's very interesting because I, everyone I knew in Greektown, all the, like, immigrants, either...

got divorced or should have got divorced and we're in relationships that were long and loveless and all of us are scared to be are scared to be in fucking we like we haven't

Yeah. It didn't teach me to stick. Oh, that's interesting. No, it did the opposite because it was bad. So it teaches you to be scared of them. You're like, I can't be in this. It's going to be bad. It's going to be bad. You know what I mean? Yes, yes, yes. Fully, fully. Louis, that's all well and good, but I want to tell you about one of my favorite products in the world. One of my favorite brands in the world. It's Helix Sleep. That's right, my friend. Helix Sleep.

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Yeah. 100%. Which is, but good for you for conquering that and getting a wife, dude. Yeah, she's a great lady. Fingers crossed that it lasts. Right, guys? When is this coming out? We don't know. We got to take a look at the schedule. Hopefully you're still together. Elders, play some calls for us, baby. Let's answer some fucking questions here. I've always wanted to do this. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

What's up, Scottie baby? This is one of your fans from Philadelphia. I'm going to leave my name out for obvious reasons here in a second. I took a trip this weekend and it was for a wedding. So we had a bunch of responsible adults acting irresponsibly. So I'm going to leave my name out for obvious reasons here in a second.

I'm a single dad, 40 years old. Nice. And I ended up meeting a mom who's 40 years old on the trip as well. Only thing is she's not single. I'm not asking for advice on permission or the right thing to do here. I'm more so looking to ask questions about why does this keep fucking happening to me, man? Every time I'm single, somebody's wife,

girlfriends they want to hang out with me they want to spend the day with me we end up kind of like pseudo falling in love for the afternoon and then that's it uh nothing happened everything stayed above board with respect to uh you know she's got going on although i do acknowledge that i did pick the choice to uh spend a little bit of extracurricular time with this person who i knew

Wow, that's fucking bizarre. Yeah. Well, first of all, I mean, buddy, you hung out with her. What the fuck are you talking about? To attract somebody, like, what you're... Okay, there might... I don't even necessarily buy...

that he only attracts married women. But let's say that's the case. It's your choice what you choose to pursue. He doesn't know. Maybe they're hanging out, but at the end he finds out. You know what I mean? But I don't know. He says he knew here, didn't he? Yeah. I thought they were hanging out all day, and then she's like, by the way.

I'm married. Right? That's the way I pictured it in like a movie kind of thing. Yeah. But maybe not. Maybe he knew it from the top. It may have been somewhere in between where they hit it off at dinner, but you know. But it's a fucking wedding. Everybody, somebody knows this woman. Somebody's going to go up and be like, hey man. Oh yeah, that's bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey man, you know she's fucking married. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like he's, there's ways, by the way, at a wedding, right? And we've all been to a wedding. And as I said, I don't know if you, like when you're single. Yeah.

There's a way to get information because you're usually at the wedding with, it's your friend's wedding or you're the friend of somebody who knows everyone. They should print out like a dossier for single people. They really should. These are the single people. Here's what their deal is. Exactly. Who's available? You know, whatever.

Like, I've been at a wedding and I've seen somebody and I will go to whoever is my source of information. Yes. And I'll be like, what's her deal? Yes. Always. You don't like... That's a good point. You know what I mean? That's a good point. Or even, especially...

Especially after you have a little chat with someone. Because this is the other thing about weddings. People are kind of flirty, right? People are having a good time. There's vibes. There's vibes. It also is safe, right? This woman knew she wasn't going to fuck this guy. She said maybe having a good time. You know what I mean? Like, maybe it's like, you know, it's like, I can't tell you how many women have basically flirted with me in front of their, like, husband. Because it's like this, weddings are like a weird, where it's like, everything's weird.

everyone is kind of happy everyone's got there's like a love in the air but it is wholesome right like yeah it's like ultimately it's wholesome until you push it over the edge and then it becomes you know it can be kind of wild but it's like i just think it's like if you're are you at a are you at a place where fucking married women constantly i guess this is just about this wedding we're not talking about the larger well he does say it keeps happening to him i think it's partially because he's a

dating women his age. And that's the mistake, you know? If he went a little younger, this would not be an issue. This wouldn't be an issue. And also, look, I don't know. He's a single dad, right? He's 40. He probably gives off kind of a safe, nurturing energy. Totally. Right? Which is like...

So they know he's kind of responsible. It's also to a certain to certain women that is attractive. Yeah, especially if you're the kind of woman who's with the fucking dickhead that doesn't pull his own weight. You're like, oh, this is nice talking to a guy who is he's making his life work without a woman at all.

Not only... He's like... It's almost like this fantasy of like... If I'm gonna... It's like I feel like if women are gonna cheat, they go either with a complete dirtbag who's just trying to... Who's just bad for them and is gonna fulfill sexual fantasies. Or it's like...

like a nice, you know, dad who's like kind of wholesome, but also he, he probably, you know, he could probably let you have it sexually if push came to shove, you know? It's hard. It's, it's, it's actually hard to decide this without seeing him. He's like, why does this always happen to me? It's like, I don't know. Like he's got a huge cock. You can see it in his pants. Yeah. Right. Right. It's true. It's true. Because if you're also just, cause this also could be a little bit of like, if you're, I don't know,

Because he talks about, like, he says nothing happened with this woman. Do things happen with other women? Like, do women cheat with him? Or does he get into these weird friendships where he's allowing himself to kind of be almost, again...

It's almost like when you're a fat teen, as I was, and I didn't have the guts to make a move, like, I would end up being, like, an emotional support when all I wanted to do was, like, date this girl. Oh, yeah. Like, is he kind of, like, is he sort of, if he's not fucking any of these women, what he's talking about is, like, married women befriend him and kind of put him in the weird, yeah, straight gay friend, friend zone, whatever you want to call it. Yes, yes, yes.

If you're not fucking them, then this then what you need to do is stand up for yourself and not put yourself in these positions. And it's also because like if that's what's happening, if you're not fucking this woman, then married women and like by being a 40 year old single father, you kind of have become like a fat teen all over again. You like, you know what I mean? Where you're like, it's like.

don't believe in yourself or you're wholesome, basically. Where it's like, this guy's not gonna go fuck around. He's not gonna go treat women badly. I think there's... I mean, I haven't been in the situation, but I imagine in the 40s there's a divorcee community who is freaky as hell. Absolutely. I think they're fucking like crazy. But he's not that guy. Yeah, you're right. He's not. He's trying to be good. That's what I'm saying. If this is a different... And that's how I'm reading this, right? If there's more information here and he's like, oh no, I've been...

I've been cucking insurance salesmen left and right. That's different. But you're kind of onto something about dating younger. Because I do think his qualities are like a 40-year-old single father who's very responsible. There's a zaddy vibe there. Totally. There's a...

literal like daddy. He's a literal daddy. Yes. You know what I mean? I mean, not even that much younger. Usually I say don't date younger, but I'm just saying if he's running into this problem of cheating on their husband, maybe that's the problem. Mid-30s. Yes, exactly. Mid-30s is a sweet spot maybe. But yeah, dude. What do you think about cheating in general? What's your rule? What's my rule? If you find a woman and you find out she has a guy, you're out? Or are you in? Or what? I don't know.

Oh, really? Well, like Israel, it's a complicated matter. This is where I start talking bullshit. There's so many ways to look at it. I know I'm doing something wrong, but I don't give a fuck. It's really what it comes down to. Let's just say I'm shelling that guy. I'm using white phosphorus on that guy's wife's face with no bra, no matter what the UN says. I'm letting it go. Oh.

Yeah, I think I have matured. This is so funny. I was just literally thinking about this like this week where I was like, because my policy has always been like, it's not your fault. She's the one doing the wrong thing. What the fuck do I care? But I do think recently I've been like,

yeah, that is fucked up. But it's also, it is also, I do think it's a case by case thing. Yeah. I think it's a way to get murdered. Yeah. Probably. Is to, is to fuck someone else's wife. Now there is a self-preservation aspect for sure. But it's like, look, if the guy, if I'm not worried about the guy and he's, the other thing is like, who is this guy? Is he a piece of shit? Is this bitch a piece of shit? It's like, do I have feelings for this person? Right? Like, um, yeah.

You ever been involved with someone who was in a relationship, like an affair? No, dude. I've been in a nice little string of, like, girls with open relationships. Oh, really? It's almost like the above board, like... Wow. Which is kind of nice. We've kind of taken... It's gone from being dangerous to being like, well, nice to see you. Can I get some head, please? And then it's like... Are you talking to her boyfriend? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dude, I have met a girl. I have. Dude, it's been a little, like, it is weird to shake someone's hand and been like, I was demolishing your girlfriend yesterday. That's why, so. And we're both like, nice to meet you, man. You know what I mean? And it's like, you just know. You have no. Exactly. And women don't understand. I think women don't understand that weird masculine feeling. And I'm trying not to, you know, get rid of all that macho shit, but it's in me, like,

My ex was with so many other comedians and she told me all of them. And she doesn't know that like every time I'm seeing them, they are thinking I fucked his girl. And like I know they're thinking that. And I'm thinking they fucked my girl. And we're both thinking at each other.

You know what I mean? And it's awkward, dude. Yeah, absolutely. It's like, I'm not saying like... No, you're so right, because I don't... Listen, body count does not matter to me. No, me neither. My wife can fuck a thousand people. I don't give a fuck. It doesn't matter. But it's a thing of like, I don't want her to have fucked 1,000 people I see every day. That was my life. That was my life, dude. That's tough. That is like, yeah, which some people would argue...

You guys are... We are being misogynist in a more modern... We're halfway there. It doesn't even matter if it's right or wrong. It's a feeling, dude. That's exactly right. I don't know what to say. It's also like... It's just like... Just don't tell me, dude. It's not a worst thing. Just don't tell me about it. I would never have known. The thing is, none of those guys...

said a word to me. Sure. I just knew because she fucking told me. They were just smiling when they said hello to you? Yeah. Oh, hi, Louie. Good to see you. You're like, hmm, that guy's being a little strange. Anyway. I would have rather not known. It's all just like, just don't tell me. It's like, fine. Like, I don't have a problem with that, but just don't tell me.

Okay, so let's get to it. Let's see if we can do anything for this guy. What was his final question, Elders? Like, how does he know? Why the fuck do I only trust one of them? Why does that keep happening? Yeah, man, I mean, I think it is a little bit of you clearly are putting out something. I think there might be a little bit of that safety thing. I think there might be a little bit of what we described of the, like, you're a good guy,

You have a kind... You know who you are? You're the guy in every Hallmark movie when she comes home from her high-powered fucking job on Wall Street. You're the guy in Carhartt who's just raising his daughter and who lives a... You are kind of a fantasy to these women, I think. And so you just have to...

Don't allow yourself to get it and even saying pseudo falling in love for the afternoon Part of this is you so want to be in a relationship you you could I can feel it from this and that's why it's like that's why I'm saying it reminds me of being a fat 13 year old because I was so lonely I so wanted a girlfriend, but I didn't know how to go about it and his his that's his challenge is obviously different than not believing in yourself, but

You do have to kind of set a boundary and, like, not entertain these kinds of stuff, right? You don't want to be a guy who cheats? Great. Then you don't... These women... You don't have time for these women. Only give your time to somebody who is not married. Find that out. And it is a little bit of... There is a little work that comes to this, I think. There is a little bit of, like...

finding the right woman who fits into your life as a single father already is going to be a little harder. Maybe the women that fall into your lap are all married, but you got to stop entertaining that and you got to start looking if you really do want a relationship, which it sounds like you do. Yeah, you got to start looking elsewhere, I think, or you have to know that somebody is explicitly divorced. The good news is he is a catch. He's putting something out there and it's really just...

reshifting your focus, I think that is what the problem is here. There's also that early question, which is the perfect flirting question. Hey, where's your boyfriend?

You know what I mean? What's your husband doing right now? They know what you mean. You either do or you don't. And then it's on them. And then you know what's up. So just ask that question early on so you don't get halfway involved before that. You know what I mean? It's a good flirty question. It's a good flirt move. Because that's another thing. Your intentions are very clear when you ask that kind of question. Do you think it's a sleazy line? I don't think so. I think it's like...

It depends how you say it. It depends on delivery. Yeah, yeah, it does. Where's your boyfriend, little girl? They let the head cheerleader out here by herself? Good luck, buddy. I'm sorry that it keeps happening to you. All right, LD, what else you got for us?

Okay.

He compliments my outfit. Like, was like, oh, my God, we're wearing, like, the same thing. When we're in there, we're talking about where we're from. We're talking about what we want to do. Like, we're... It just feels like I'm on a first date. At this place, they do fingerprints instead of, like, pulling a whole vial of, like, everything because they want to make sure that there's not as much biohazard. My blood sprays all over his face, which is, like, never happens at this clinic. He was, like...

kind of shook about it, but he's like wiped off his face and was like laughing and like we were just talking even though I want to say he probably feels like sanitized his face. But anyways, we're getting along super fucking well. I end up leaving. He writes his name on one of the cards and says like, call if you have any questions.

He can't hit on me. He's at work. I didn't hit on him because he's at work. I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable. I did not see a ring. Some of my friends, I can't stop thinking about him. Some of my friends are saying that I should call and ask to talk to him and then ask about that way. I'm a little bit worried about that because I don't want to feel awkward going into this clinic because I really like this place. Right.

Oh, come on. Just fuck this guy.

I probably was not detailed enough. I don't know. But let me on. You don't think you were detailed enough? First of all, this girl sounds awesome. These are the kind of people I want in my life. Wow. This is, there's nothing. This is so cute that she's even calling in.

How do I fuck a guy that clearly wants to fuck me? I'm a hot girl that does porn. Do you think he'll fuck me? Come on. Would you be freaked out if porn star blood sprayed all over your face? After it came back clean, no. But there would be a little. This is the pre-tested blood. I wouldn't be too thrilled. Jesus. This is such a... First of all,

This guy has unlocked a new level of scumbag I didn't even think was possible. Get a job at a STD clinic to get pussy? My hat's off to you, sir. Remember the Bud, which commercial was it? The Real Men of Genius commercial? Yes, yes, yes. Real Men of Genius. Yes.

This is a real man of genius. Insanely good move, dude. The women who are coming, the girls I know who are regulars at STD clinics, either are sex workers or they are girls in an open relationship, girls that get tested before or after each new partner, who are cool. Responsible. They're responsible, hot, cool.

One of the best combinations possible. That's like my favorite. If I had to pick three, I'm taking those three over anything. So again, tip of the hat to this guy. I found most guys working at those clinics are gay. Right. Because most of those clinics are gay clinics. Right. Because that's who has to get tested more than everyone else. And he did a complimenter outfit. Yeah.

Yes, that's what I thought right away. I'm like, all right. We're dressed the same. He might be bi. Yeah, I know. He's wearing a tube top and knee highs as well. No, she's probably wearing fucking all hoodies. That's the other thing. These girls will be comfy when they're off the clock, which is another thing I really respect about them. A lot of sweats, you're right. A lot of sweats, which I love. Go ahead, Louie. Well, I mean, it's like...

The problem is really, the real, it's like, it's actually like a classic problem brought into like a new kind of weird situation. Whereas like you have a place you regularly go. Right. Do you try and date the person that's there? Right. Because that can mean you can't go there anymore. Yes. Which is like, usually it's like a coffee shop. We have had this exact question about a coffee shop. Yeah, that's a classic. From a guy that has no shot though. This is the difference. It's an STD clinic with a woman that has no problem whatsoever here. Right. Right.

It's funny he waits. I say, yeah, definitely wait till those results come back. Oh, believe me. Yeah, he won't be interested. You know, I think she's going to come back clean, though. She sounds responsible here. Yeah, I mean, yeah, that is something you have to think about is how much do you want to fuck this guy versus how convenient this clinic is. That's the real question. Yeah. And I would say give it a B.

Right. Give it a month. Maybe go back in there next time you see him in person. Right. Like I would say give it a beat so that you can really because it sounds like you're swept up in this fun interaction. You know, you really want to fuck this person, whatever. If you can, if that initial if that initial like wave of attraction or like desire subsides and you can really think about this and be like,

I want to fuck him. Like, think about the doomsday scenario of you have to find a new clinic. Is that worth this dick? That's really the math you have to do. And if it is, and if you think ultimately it is, then there's no question. Like, he gave you his number to call back, um...

Like if you have any questions You call back with a dummy question Yeah See what the vibes If the vibes are flirty Then you can be like Here's another question Would you want to go out for a drink? Yeah He's gonna say yes And you can even be like And if you can't answer Because you're at work or whatever You know Whatever Just let me know later Or something I don't know Yeah Like Like

I think you'd be fine doing that. The other question is, do you want to date someone who's a bad phlebotomist? I mean, this person, I've never heard of the blood spraying all over someone's face. Right, right, right, right, right. I've had blood drawn so many times. That is true. I mean, this person is bad at their job. He's doing Looney Tunes shit with your blood. Yeah.

Yeah, if that's how careless he is with the blood, what's he going to be like with your pussy? That's what I'm saying. Although that is also, it is so, this is such a cute story. It's like a meat cube. It's a meat cube. It's a filthy meat cube. It's a dirt bag meat cube. Because that's like, he was so flustered because of how hot you were. He spilled blood instead of like, again, overdoing the foam on your latte. Yeah,

This is actually really cute. This is adorable. But anyway, yeah, that's, you got to do the math. I would say give it a beat. Do you really want this? And then do the math of like, is it worth potentially never going back here even though it's so convenient? And if it is,

Call back with a little... There's nothing to worry about here. He's not going to say no. I just realized, but it is really hard to date someone that works at your regular STD clinic. Yeah. Right? Because they're like, well, why are you coming back in? You know what I mean? Well, I mean... I know that she's a porn star, but I'm just saying... He would have to... I feel like anybody who dates her needs to understand this. Okay, yeah, yeah. He's not going to be like, well, with my salary as a guy working at a free clinic...

I'm going to retire you, baby girl, if she even wants that. So anyway, good luck. You're in the clear. You just have to decide if this is what you want. But it's adorable. I love an adorable dirtbag story. Yeah, really sweet. Next question, Big L Dunce. Hey, Stav, Eldest. Love you guys. Love the show. Hello, esteemed guests. So I'm calling Stav to – I'm going to keep this short and sweet –

I'm thinking of going into therapy to, you know, deal with all the issues I've got. I know I have to have goals going in, so, you know, like, fucking, you know, I want to deal with my anger issues, overeating, you know, and the fact that I'm probably bipolar. I want to get all that sorted out, but I'm a little nervous that it's, like...

Cause I hear stories all the time of people who go into therapy and it doesn't stick. And I really tend to overthink things. Um, and I just worried that it's not going to work out for me and it's not going to stick. Um,

So I know you've been to therapy before, and I just wondered if you've ever had these doubts before going into therapy or if you have any advice for that. So thanks a lot. Love the show. Looking forward to seeing you when you come to Tampa. You have a great day. Love you, baby. Bye. There he is.

Okay, buddy. Yeah, I mean, this is... I mean, I think that's all pretty standard. I think people do worry about therapy. Sure. And the thing is, like, you have to look at it as, like, it's like going to any doctor. You might go to a doc... I've gone to doctors, and I have just not liked them, right? Like, I've had to change my general...

My general physician in New York, I've changed him like three times and I'm probably going to change him. Me and Eldest are the same guy. Eldest loves our guy. I don't know that he's the guy. I got him. I didn't have any money and I think now it's time to upgrade to a doctor that's not in above a... I'm not going to say what store, but it's not where you want your doctor to be. I know what you mean. Anyway...

But that's something to consider, right? Is that like, you are going to see a doctor, you're going to see somebody, and it's not... You might take some time to find the right guy for you. Yes, exactly. But when you find the right person, it does... For everyone I've talked to, it is the ability to change your life and help you work through things. I think all of us have been in therapy at some point. And...

You know, there's just, and it's tough because it takes a while. Like, all these issues are so interconnected and they're so, they're so, like, complex that you can feel like, I've been in therapy, I was in therapy for a long time and I was like, this is doing nothing. And then all of a sudden I would have, I felt like I would have a breakthrough. Or I've had friends who,

I've convinced my family, I've convinced friends of mine to go into therapy, and I've had friends who I'm like, what the fuck are they doing? And then out of the blue, they leave their job or they do this huge thing that they were supposed to be, that I thought they should have been done years ago, but it's like clearly over time, eventually it just like worked. So it is something that if you know, and I think it's very helpful that he's going in with

specific things he wants to deal with. Anger, overeating. I think that stuff is very, that's a good place to start, right? But I mean, that's my general advice on it is like, you know, it might take a little work. Don't get discouraged. Yeah. But it will be helpful, but it won't be overnight. Right.

Yeah, I think all that and like I think it's a little bit not totally. I think I really lucked out or maybe it's just that thing like I was saying with my parents but like the first therapist I happen to see, I think he's great and it's helping me a lot. But I do think it can be for some people almost like dating. You have to – first of all, I would find someone –

not just with reviews online, but through someone you trust who recommends them. Yeah. For a personal recommendation, if possible. If not, go with reviews online. Or a different doctor who's like, I have a colleague who is really good. Yes, someone who you trust who might...

Who might be able to recommend you someone personally instead of just online reviews if possible. That's a great thing because there is a new type of doctor in today's age who is an incredible marketer. Yes. Like, I go to a podiatrist who's a solid, I have no, you know, he's helped me out but he is so much better at

digital marketing than he is podiatry. But he's good. He's good. But he's like... And he's always like... He's upselling you shit. And he's like... There's this thing. There's that thing. And he's a good businessman. And that's the fucked up thing. Again, this is the fucked up thing about America is that our physicians have to also be business people. They have to run a practice. But anyway...

Well, the worst is fucking dentists. They're fucking scummy as shit, dude. I went to one. I had a tooth that chipped a little bit. I call up one place. They're like, well, you're at least going to have to get an x-ray. That'll be $150. And then everything else, we can't tell you over the phone. We can't give you a quote. I call my mom's dentist. He's like,

No x-ray needed. Come in. I'll fix it for 50 bucks. I was like, what? I think the x-ray was like 200 bucks. It was insane. I know. And I found, again, I upgraded the dentist to a nice Manhattan dentist. He's not trying to upsell you? He is not, but everything is a little more expensive. That's fine.

They are so professional. But when I was like, when I had this tooth, which I need to, it got fucking chipped in my sleep. I don't know how. That sucks. I woke up one day, my tooth was chipped. I was like, how the fuck is that? I think I literally did. And then I took a fat shit before I realized it. So I was going to comb through my shit to see if the chip is in there. To glue it back on? Yeah.

No, dude. That tooth piece is gone, dude. It is gone. I just wanted to see that it was in my shit. I just wanted to know where it was. But anyway. I'm saying a cell phone in the toilet is done for me. You want to dig your tooth out of your shit and put it back in your mouth? Jesus Christ. But yes, I went through that whole racket of like,

There was a guy who quoted me $20,000 for a new tooth versus like, you know, I got it all everything for like eight grand. Now it's chipped. So, but still like 12,000 more. No, it's crazy anyway. But yeah, that's a good point is like go. Yeah. Get somebody you trust. A personal recommendation instead of just reviews, if possible. If not be okay with saying it didn't feel right. I need to go to someone else. Yeah. Yeah.

But it is a delicate thing. It's like you also don't want to be giving yourself like an out and be like, ah, this therapist didn't feel good because they made me confront something I didn't want to talk about. You know what I mean? You have to be honest with yourself. And you have to be willing to do the work. I feel like a good rule of thumb is like if there's something just deeply like irrationally in you that's opposed to therapy because like the mysteries and the unknowns of doing it like make you worry, that's probably a sign you like –

You should open yourself up to it. You need them the most. Yeah. No, absolutely. But once you get to that point too, it's like, you know, it's not like a magic pill or something. It takes work and like, you know, it could take like weeks and months of just like feeling like you're not doing anything, but like you see the effects of it in like different ways. Totally. After the fact, like, you know, just down the line. I mean, dude, we...

This has been a crazy year for me and Eldis, especially. We launched the podcast. We were on a tour. We recorded the special. I did this indie movie. We were editing the special. It's been nonstop. And at a certain point, I just missed an appointment with my therapist, and I just have not gone in months at this point. And it's like, I know I'm worse off for it.

Like in these like In these intangible ways And there's other times That have And I'm gonna see him again soon But But there's other Been other times in my life Where I'm like I'm feeling great I don't need to go to therapy And like

Like around two months off would coincide with me making a horrific decision. Dude, totally. Like fucking up a relationship, like making a bad business. And then I would look back and I'd be like, how the fuck did I do this? And then I'd be like, oh, right, I should have gone to therapy. I'm so absent-minded when I start to get busy, I let all my health lap.

And that's part of it. And so it's just very useful, I think. It is scary what's new to you. So you're like, so wait, so I just go to this forever? Is this forever now? And I don't know if you need forever, but I will say I have the same experience where I'm like, I think I'm doing pretty good. I think I got a handle on things. And then it's just like...

something happens and it's just like a fucking hurricane of anxiety in my head. And I'm like, what am I doing? I got to go back. I just need some help right now. And there's nothing wrong with like, you know, I was at a place where it's like, if I even just went every month, I think I would have been fine this past go around. But just letting it go completely and kind of losing sight of your like, what you're working on mental health wise. Because for me, it's just been, I've been too

like busy with everything that's been going on and it's just like and you can't let yourself do that and I think it's good what you're thinking is good and I think Eldest is right if you're nervous about finding out that you're bipolar that's you should find out other than you know potentially ruin your life and all your you know relationships by letting it go unchecked and also let a doctor tell you I have this thing and Soder has a great bit about it but like

Let a doctor diagnose you with a clinical thing. Yes, yes, yes. Instead of you using TikTok to tell you that you have. That's a dance order bit, but it's like seriously, like you're not bipolar until someone who knows what bipolar, like someone who's studied that kind of stuff diagnoses you. Absolutely, 100%. Maybe you're just upset. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. You're fully right. Like maybe, yeah. Who knows? Who knows what it is? Maybe you do have it, but I'm saying let a professional find out and help you with the proper way. 100%. Yeah.

Let's get another one going, Big Eldest. Hey, Savvy Baby. I have a dilemma that I need your help with. Okay. So the guy I'm dating wants me to fully shave everything downstairs, which I don't want to do. And, you know, I keep things trim and tidy down there. It is not a crazy situation. I've never had any complaints.

But my boyfriend says that when he goes down on me, the hair rubs on his face and that it hurts him. And so I need a man's perspective. Like, is that bullshit? Is he just trying to get his way by saying that? Or is this an actual phenomenon? The pussy hair on the face irritation phenomenon. So thank you. Kiss, kiss. It's got to be rough dating a pedophile. It's not easy.

Yeah, dude. I mean, you keep the... Like, okay, I have been in situations where I'm just like, this is a little too much pussy hair. Sure. Right? Where I'm like, can we maybe get a little trim? But if you're a trim, if you're into the trim, that's crazy to me to ask for a full shave if...

if you're already trimmed. Like, my perfect situation is a trim. Yes. It's like, little bit of pussy hair. Yes. Nothing crazy. You know what I mean? Like, even a, I'll even take a strip before I'll take no pussy hair. I think the strip is where it's at. Strip's great. Strip's the most, but, a little Hitler. Yeah, give me a little Hitler. Give me a little George Washington Hitler. Give me a little gay Hitler, baby. That's what I call pussy. Just smashing some gay Hitler. Ha ha ha.

Yeah, dude. Strip, I think, is like no pussy hair at all. It's like, listen, don't get me wrong. I'll take it. And I would rather take that over a wild overgrown bush personally. That's just who I am. But the perfect situation for me is a trim. And so I think that to say it hurts him, that's crazy. Well...

Wouldn't stubble hurt more? Stubble hurts. I also think it's like, I got to know, maybe try conditioning. Maybe you need a little conditioner down there in your pussy hair. How coarse is your pussy hair? How coarse is your pussy hair? Yeah, that's a good question. Seriously, if you're not conditioning it, if it's like... I've never come across pussy hair coarse enough.

I have. Really? It's not a coarseness thing, but it's like, you know, it's like a beard stubble. If she keeps her shit trimmed, it could be like some pussy stubble that can like rub on your face or something. But see, I don't think she's going down to a number one. It sounds like she's shaving the sides and trimming the top bush.

Well, what is... Maybe. I mean, I have no idea how much she's... She says she keeps it neat. You know what I mean? So who knows what that means? That's true. But it really is... She doesn't seem to me that she's getting the razor out to the point where stubble happens and she's letting the five o'clock shadow grow on her pussy. Not stubble, but I think in general, like, you know, trimmed pubes are pretty short. Like, whether it's like...

little longer than usual. Yeah, that's fair. You could have like that scratchy little stubble effect. But also... It can be coarse. If you have coarse hair, it can be coarse. I'm not joking about the conditioner. Interesting. If you don't want to trim it, at least condition it. Smooth it out, you know? Huh. I'm trying to think. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know that I've ever... Like, because even the biggest bushes I've had have been... have seen kind of soft even.

Because I don't know, if they're too overgrown, they kind of become... What, did she use a moisturizer soap? I don't know. I'll have to ask her. She's married with a child now. No, no, I was talking about that. No, don't ask her about her bush. I was talking about this lady. Right, right, right. Okay, so we've had... Now, but I'm also...

I'm thinking about the mechanics of eating pussy, and it's like most of your face is not really on the... We're talking about the top that's stubbly, right? It could be anywhere, man. I mean, you've seen bushes can be all around. It could be the side of her thighs. She's not talking about side of thighs. She claims to keep it neat, which to me feels like we're just talking about the top...

I think it just means not letting it... Like, I keep my pubes neat, which means I got shorter pubes. There's not a part of it that's ever waxed. It's all got some hair at some point. So that's me with neat pubes. Interesting, interesting. Which are not neat right now. I let it go like you let the therapist go. I gotta... These pubes are wild right now. I would also say that, like...

It's a little weird that he gave this as the excuse, but also like people, and I made the pedophile joke or whatever, but straight up, it feels better. There's less friction when you're, because the dick has no hair. The hair is, you know, away from the dick. The pussy lips have hair. So pussy lips without hair, it feels better for both people, I think. Yeah.

Interesting. No, you don't think so? I guess I don't think about hairy pussy lips. I feel like once you're in the pussy, there's no hair involved. I know that, but I'm just saying it does feel better. It feels like total... Because look, you're trying to... I mean, to camera? Please, to camera. You're trying to... There's that part. That part right there. I know what you're in there, but that moment...

Feels way better, dude. And then you can slip out and go back in and there's not that outside friction with the hair.

But see, I think a shaved pussy more often than I've encountered stubble because of shaved pussies. If in fact, I would say I have, my face has been hurt more by from a stubbly pussy than a trimmed pussy. You know, the, the tell joke about that. Like your pussy has been up late trying to solve a murder. Yeah. Yes. That's a classic. Um,

Look, we're going to have to look at your pussy. I don't know. Yeah, I don't. Try conditioner first. Yes, try conditioner. But I do think this feels a little like bullshit, right? Doesn't this feel like a guy who wants to shave pussy? There's like credence to what he's saying, but at the same time it feels like a bullshit excuse. Like he's just like grasping for something. Right, right, right, right. Even in situations like that, if there's like a stubbly pussy or something, you just like, you know,

correct how you lick the pussy so you don't scratch your face. Absolutely. This guy can't say my fucking face or nose or whatever hurts every time I eat your pussy because you're not He clearly just wants her to shave her pussy. You know what it could be though? There is this, maybe he's saying it hurts but he's really thinking it kind of stinks.

And some of the stink is from the retention of excretions in the hair. Which is another problem with pussy hair. Right, right, right. There's excretions, there's piss. Traps, there's pheromones. Like, when you go down on a woman who has pussy hair, that first mouth is a mouthful of piss, dude. You know what I mean? Like, that first lick is straight up piss. You've got to lick your way through the piss to get to the pussy. You know? Absolutely.

And when there's no pussy here, that's not an issue. So we could be like, man, it's like a piss. It's like a little bit nasty. Yeah. It hurts me. You know what I mean? It almost seems like less rude to say it kind of hurts my face than like, it's a little funky. It's a little, it's a little, you know. Now our friend here seems pretty, she seems pretty open. So is it possible your pussy stinks? If no, then I do think that if, because that's a good point. If no, then I think,

Yes, you're right, Aldous. This is like, he has plausible deniability here, but I don't know that his case would stand up to cross-examination. Like, it hurts is kind of crazy. It is a little crazy. And look, is there some compromise here?

You know what I mean? Can you trim it a little more? Or is there, or, you know, for his... Deep conditioner. Try the conditioner. That would be an interesting way to call his bluff. Yes. Is to go, is to try and make your pussy hair softer. I've never conditioned my pubes personally. What? I don't shampoo my pubes. It's all soap.

You shouldn't put your pubes. Eldest, I bet you probably need to with that coarse-ass fucking... No, never my pubes, but I definitely have my beard and stuff.

Yeah, you condition your beard, right? I have beard oil that I leave in as conditioner. Probably beard hair is closer to pussy hair, I think. Yeah, for sure. Probably, so it depends on the woman. It does. Like you said, there are some coarse pussy hair out there. So yeah, now our final vote is, I think it's probably bullshit, but that's my take, but...

You could, if you wanted to continue down this path, you could condition your pussy hair as an olive branch. And if you really don't want to shave your pussy, then guess what? You don't have to shave your pussy. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As long, yeah, she says tidy.

Trim is even, she said trim and tidy, which is different than just trim. Trim and tidy to me says like, you know. Shaved would have been the word she used if she shaves it. She doesn't shave it. She keeps it trim and tidy. Do you know what I mean? She's doing what I do, basically. What I used to do before I just gave up. But, you know, it's shorter pubic hair. That's what it is.

Yeah, again, look, without looking at your pussy, we're hamstrung here. But I think as long as you're being honest about its tidiness, and we can also, if you personally can dispel the pussy stink accusations hurled at you by Louie. I'm just saying it's...

It's a possibility. I'm not saying you got a sticky pussy, but I'm saying, you know, you didn't say you don't have a sticky pussy. Sure, she didn't say that. Yeah, give it a little fucking conditioner. And yeah, I don't know. Maybe if you really want to, clearly this is something, the way you would know if it's about

hurting himself or not is if you just surprise him with a shaved pussy and his eyes light up like it's Christmas, it's not about how his face feels. You know, there's a way to find out if he's lying or not. Yes, yes. So that's another possibility. But anyway, good luck. He should be able to power through as long as the bush ain't wild. Now, I... This has... I have had arguments when pussy hair is out of control where I'm like...

Come on, can we get it a little under control here? Again, I'm never a shave it, wax it every once in a while as a little treat. That's nice. Would be nice, but no dated. That's not necessary, but I have come across some out of control situations where I'm like, come on.

I'll trim my shit up too. And listen, if a girl asked me to shave my dick completely, it would be weird, but I would, again, then I'd really look like a fat horny baby. You can't be fat as shit with just like a little roll.

That eats up most of your soft dick too? You can't trim your... You can't be fatty shit. It's like beards when you're that fat. You kind of have to keep a beard. I can't grow a good one or else I would. Very fat men have to have beards to give the illusion of a jawline. You do not want to see how round my penis area is if I don't have some pubes. Your pubic jawline needs to be established. Yeah.

All right, Big L Dunce. One more time. I kind of take a piss. Yeah, take a piss, dude. Is that okay? Yeah, for sure. All right, Louie's back with a nice empty bladder. Eldest, what do you have for us, pal? Yo, what's up, Savvy? And hello to your guest. I just have a quick question for you. I'll keep it short. I moved into a new apartment, moved out of my parents' house, like...

Three months ago, everything's going fine. Except for the fact that my neighbor, the guy that was living right next door to me, he was a nice guy. But the person who lives in the building next to us, his three...

XL bullies almost ripped apart his tiny dog. Oh, no. And this caused him to move out of state back home. And he had a GoFundMe and everything set up for the dog. What the fuck? And it was just a really bad situation. The dude got his dog taken away like a couple months ago. But today I was coming back up to my apartment.

And the dude got his dogs back. And I know that they're fighting dogs. I know that they're like framed fighting dogs. And I'm wondering if I should report him to animal control or to the police. Because those dogs are fucked up. And there's a lady that just moved in downstairs. She got little kids. And I can see those dogs taking a bite. You know what I'm saying? So let me know what you think. Love the pod. Yeah, that's it. Bye.

First of all, all right. I'm sorry. The first guy's dog was killed by these bulldogs and he had to move out? Because maybe he wasn't sure that the dogs would be taken away. Maybe the dogs were still there at that point. Yeah. It also seems like maybe that dog, it was a small dog, but it didn't die, but it got, like, fucked up.

I mean, why else would you start a GoFundMe? That's true. For the funeral. Get him a nice... This is when I get real... This is when I get real Europe immigrant with it and I'm like, just shoot the fucking dog and move on. Well, I'm like that the other way with the other guy's dogs. Like, fuck that guy's dog. No, no, for sure. I'm with it in both cases where I'm like...

We're letting dogs ruin our day. And I know, I know, I know. 80% of the people listening think I'm a fucking, you know, brutal, like, piece of shit. But they're fucking animals. Who gives a fuck? Yeah. All right. I mean, I really, that is something that the third world has right.

Let dogs fucking be in the yard. Throw them a little bit of fucking ground beef you have left over. Don't be fucking... Dude, my parents found a dog. Uh-huh.

She was this adorable dog, and it's hilarious because they didn't... My dad just straight up wanted to steal her. He refused taking her to the vet because they're microchipped. He didn't want to take her to the vet. He just wanted to keep it and be like, well, it's my dog now. He took him away. I'm like, you have to see if it's somebody's dog.

You can't just fucking keep a dog because you found it on the street. Turns out it was like an abandoned dog. And she's little, so everyone thought she was a baby. But she's just like an old shih tzu, you know? Oh, okay, cool. But she's great. She's a cool dog. Our family has... Everybody loves her. My mom loves her in a way that I had... We didn't have pets when we were little because we had asthma. And the dog has a heart problem, right? And my mom, they took her to the vet. And they were like, well...

She's either gonna be, we have to do this test and it'll tell us she's either okay or she's going to need surgery. And my mom was like, how much, if she needed the surgery, how much would the surgery be? And they're like $8,000 or something. And my mom was like, don't do the test. My mom was like, either the dog is living or

Because she doesn't have this heart problem or the dog is dying from the heart problem. Yeah, that's that. Like, we're not, like, you know. And by the way, thank, my mom's a real one because who do you think's paying for that fucking dog surgery if it needed surgery? Mom don't got a grand lying around. We're picking up another weekend.

We're going to have to sell a little more merch to get that dog a fucking heart transplant. So shout out to my mom. Or else there goes Eldest's Christmas bonus. So you should really be thanking her, Eldest. But now here's another. So now this guy's like he's living with these terrifying dogs in the complex. My initial thing not being in his position is like, ah.

snitching even on dogs is kind of gay. You know what I mean? Like, like calling, I just hate calling fucking, and like cops for anything that doesn't seem totally necessary, whatever. Dog is going to murder the kid, but that's the thing. It's like going to eat the kid. Yeah. I mean, that's like, I know it's digits, but the dog, the kid, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, absolutely. But it's not his kid.

Like, shouldn't the kid's parents call fucking animal control or something? Well, you could just maybe just let them know, hey, there's these... At least, first step, let the lady know there's these dogs there and they've been a problem. I don't know what it takes to get someone's... Get rid of these dogs. Can you just snitch on anybody? Hey, like, fuck this guy's dog. And then they take the dog away? Well, this clearly... I mean, you would think this incident would be kind of enough, like...

And it's like he knows... Well, no, he just says, my dog bit another dog. You know how dogs are. There's ways to lie around that. It becomes two-sided. But I just think those... I don't know, man. I'm kind of like you with the dog thing. A Rottweiler bit me in the face when I was 10, so I don't have a lot of sympathy for the dogs. I can't understand the way people let dogs take over their lives. Someone else made a comment about how it's like these people, they stay single. They don't want the responsibility of a kid. And they're like, oh, I can't go out tonight. I have to stay home with them.

my dog. Oh, dude, that's another element where I'm like, it's just ridiculous. I'm going to have to plan my life around a fucking dog. You've got to be kidding me, right? I'm never doing that. No way. Like, I could see if I ever settled down, had kids, the whole thing, and someone's going to be at this house forever, and it would be nice to have a dog around your kids. Sure. Okay. And at one point in my life, I do want a dog, and maybe when I do, I mean, my life's been too, you know how our lives are too transient, you can't really whatever. Yeah, yeah.

Maybe that's part of it. I've never felt the love of a dog. I'm sure that's what everybody's going to say to me. But in this case, yeah, it's,

I mean, I would, I guess you at least, there's an incident that's already happened. Yeah. And you could follow up and be like, hey, what's going on here? I thought this, these dogs, like, I don't feel safe, you know, this isn't safe in the neighborhood. What do you say about framed? They're framed. Do you know what this phrase is? I think you said trained. Oh, trained. Okay, thanks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stop reading the transcript. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're trained fighting dogs. I mean, that's like...

That's crazy. That's scary. That's like having, you know, unregistered weapons in your fucking house. Like if, yeah, I guess that's true. If your fucking neighbor had an AK 47 and would just, sometimes it fired one bullet at a little dog, you'd be like, ah, I could fire a lot more bullets at me.

I don't know which is scarier. Which would you rather, AR-15 next door or three XL bullies trained for fighting? That's a great question. I think I would go gun. Yeah, probably. I mean, actually, I don't know. If anything, as long as the guy's not insane...

Statistically, if he's going to kill anyone, it's himself with the gun. Yes. But the dogs might kill anyone. Yeah, you're right. And we got to know what kind of a yard situation, what kind of fences are in place. You know what I mean? Man, dogs, those are really big ones, too. I mean, those are like... Look up XL Bully. Can we see what they look like? Isn't that the dog that was just banned in Great Britain? I don't know. I'm serious. Oh, goddamn. Those things are out of control, yeah.

They're awesome. Dude, those are sick dogs. I mean, sometimes I know people hate on pit bulls, and I've seen sometimes pit bulls can be almost adorable, like cow-like dogs. I kind of love those dogs, to be honest with you. I kind of want one. Yeah, they look pretty cool. My dream dog would be you mix that with a really fat bulldog and just kind of get a chubby jacked one. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's what I want. I want a half English, half XL. My sister used to have a half English bulldog, half pug, and that was a cute XL. That's a good dog, yeah.

So, all right, yeah. I guess you could follow up with the situation. You're in a new apartment. I guess it's probably not a good apartment. There's no HOA or anybody you can check in on this. Well, this is his first apartment. He moved out of his parents' house like three months ago. And I'm going to say one thing to look out for is the yard full of fighting pit bulls next door. Really?

When you're checking out an apartment to rent, maybe say, oh, there's fighting dogs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No thanks. No lease. And I guess my other follow-up is, who has these dogs? Are you scared of them? Yes, there's that also. Like finding out you snitched. Yeah. That's kind of way more what my thing is because, like, look, somebody with a kid –

It's like, I have a fucking kid to protect. Yeah. Some nosy 20-year-old. Yes. That you've never harmed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, your gay neighbor got his shih tzu fucking throat ripped out. That's not you, bro. I mean, I know, like... That's true. There is a little bit of, like...

This guy's like, why are you in my fucking... Did you call... Like, God forbid it kind of gets back to some lunatic who has... Who breeds fighting dogs and trains fighting dogs. Do you want to be on this guy's shit list? I say you call up, but you do a fake voice. Maybe like a Mrs. Doubtfire kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. Hello! There are some very dangerous bullies.

that my black neighbor has. I don't care that he's black, by the way. I'm just giving you details. I mean, sure, statistically, isn't more often black people

No, it's not. Okay, well, listen, I don't want to really argue with you about this, but... Racist Mrs. Doubtfire? Racist Karen Mrs. Doubtfire? Why do only... They're only 12% of the population, but they have 80% of the fighting dogs. Like, okay. We were kind of with you at first, Mrs. Doubtfire. And we will check this out, but...

You really should do a little more research on what you're saying. Thank you. Oh, that's really funny. That's making my face hurt. Oh, that's fucking funny. All right. So, yeah.

That's what I would have to weigh if I were you. Are you scared of this person? We're scared of the dogs of the person. Yes, that's exactly it. And if there's some kind of coward's way to report this, maybe do it. But that is fucked up. Sorry, you have to deal with that. And good luck.

And, dude, I feel bad for those fucking dogs, man. True. Like, a fighting dog? Well, it's like, it's also like the fact that he trained them to be fighting dogs. That's such a horrible life. That's what makes them dangerous is the way this guy has trained them, you know? Yeah. All right. What do we got, LD? Hi, Scott. Hi, Alden. Hi, guess whoever it is. I need help. I'm in college.

Um, uh, this year I decided to get a random roommate and she, I'm white. Um, cultural dishes. I literally can't be in the room when she uses them for hours. I've had to sleep.

in my friend's dorm i don't know what to say because i can't be like hey do your like cultural wishes come with but like they do so please help me out what do i say what do i do how do i break it to her that like if her food smells bad thanks please help me out i'm really struggling i'm a virgin tears every time i walk into my room because i just want to barf

Okay, audio quality, not great, but I believe what she's saying is... Cultural dishes. Cultural dishes smell like shit. Didn't say which culture. Yeah. I have a guess. What's your guess? I'm not going to say it. All right. It could be any number of... It could be a lot of them. Could be any number of them. Yeah.

In a dorm, though? She's cooking? What the fuck? No, she's not in a dorm. She's in college. She's in college. Oh, okay. She's a partner. Got a random roommate. They cook food. I guess that's true. Do you have those little apartments? Damn. I mean, my advice is fucking grow up and try some spice in your food. Like, what's your fucking problem? Like, yeah, there's flavor in some dishes in some regions of the world. Yeah, we're sorry. Buttered noodles. I can't have buttered noodles with...

A little salt. And if I'm feeling crazy, a little garlic salt. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, I mean, look, there is no way around this. Like, unless she's cooking...

crazy shit like if she's cooking like fermented like dead fish shit it could be you know what kimchi is pretty stinky and I love kimchi but it stinks you gotta you know they have special fridges to make kimchi because it stinks so bad put it away from the other shit because it stinks so if it's on that level that is a legit concern if the process is very stinky or she's like constantly has like fish guts or whatever laying around yeah

That's one thing. But if it's just like very fragrant, you really can't say shit. If they're using some kind of strange ingredient that really bothers you, you could be like, hey, could we cut this down a little bit? Or you could even be like, see, it's hard because you're in an apartment with a kitchen. You can't be like, there's the one way to go about it would be to be like, hey, all the cook, any cooking bothers me. Not this specific. It doesn't happen. Yeah.

Not yours, even if it was fucking hamburgers, I would be coughing a lot, right? That's really funny. The way she says cultural dishes... It's awesome. It makes me blame her, I think. 100%. There's a true lack of any kind of exposure to other foods, is what it sounds like. Cultural dishes. Cultural dishes is so funny. You seem like a nice girl, but you are giving us like...

You're in your embryonic Karen phase right now. Yes, exactly. Where it's like you could go one of two ways. Yeah, yeah. This is a big moment in your life. Okay? And you have to recognize, are you in the wrong here? Are the dishes just a little over the top? Like...

I had an Ethiopian roommate, and he would, like, he wouldn't cook a lot, but when he did, it was very fragrant, but it was good. Yeah. It was like, I was like, this is a weird smell that I'm not used to, but it doesn't smell bad. Exactly. And most of the time, you know, most ethnic foods, my house smelled, you know, we had a lot of fucking Greek food getting cooked, and there were some dishes that smelled like dog shit. My mom would make...

a cauliflower dish that was so bad, it smelled like farts. The whole fucking house smelled horrible. And there's... How did it taste? I was not, I was never tasting that. I was like, I was like, it smells like farts, I'm not tasting it. There's no way it smells, it doesn't taste, even if it tastes better, it doesn't smell, it doesn't taste that much better. Um...

So unless she's cooking up like what's that one fruit durian or whatever that smells atrocious. Yes, that does smell. That shit does smell. Unless she is cooking up like rotten fermented fish and durian and all this shit. Unless it's really atrocious. You might just have to buck up here and just like, all right, she's making a fucking curry.

Who cares? It really is dependent on the food. It's like it's dependent on the pussy. I mean, all these things are really like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all like if we could be there and smell it. I know, I know. Too bad you can't send a smell over the internet. I would love to smell. I do... I kind of want to take a couple whiffs to just know what we're dealing with here. And you might need to... Here's what you might need. You need a second and even third opinion. Yes. And they can't be as white as you are. Yes.

You need, you seem, you seem Midwestern regular ass white. You need an ethnic white of some kind. Yeah, at least. Do you know a Greek? Do you know a fresh off the boat? And by the way, within one generation, you can't have some bitch. You can't have Ashley Tamberelli whose family's been here for six generations. It's like, yeah, I'm Italian. You need somebody whose parent speaks a different language, has an accent, has a

to come in and tell you if it's really too bad. Yes, that's it. Okay, you need someone between your level of whiteness and your friend's level of ethnicity, your roommate. So now she might have gotten a completely fresh off the boat roommate, and there is a little bit of cultural thing, but it's like, that's what you have to do. Are you in the right or not? And the problem is, even if you're not,

You're just... This is what happens when you have a... You know what the problem is? You don't have enough friends to not have a random roommate. By the time you're in the kitchen, that's probably... You're in upper class, right? Like, at least in my college, you were in dorms your freshman year. Sometimes even your sophomore year, you got the apartments with kitchens your junior and senior year. With your friends. You didn't have a fucking... You don't have one other bitch that can be in your fucking... Maybe it's your personality that's the issue here. That...

That opened you up to the smells of the Orient. Maybe all the other kids at her school are cultural and she doesn't get along with them. There's too many cultural motherfuckers moving into this neighborhood. It's getting a little too cultural around here for my taste. That's a nice... That's a new euphemism. It's cultural. So anyway, good luck. Sorry to be a little harsh on you. But...

Find that... Here's the thing. You need to find out if it's you or not because if it's you, you need to buck up and just grow up and smell a couple vegetables you're not used to. If it's not you, then you still have no out here. There's no way to complain about this without sounding racist. I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah. Right? Right?

but at least you know it's not you. And then it's like, all right, well, let's never get a random roommate again. You're just learning a lesson here. Yes. Where it's like, look, it's like this is just what can happen if you open yourself up to the random horrors of, you know, of random selection. I mean, and the real problem is the cultural thing because, like, there's a thing about, like...

Just microwaving fish in the office microwave. You know what I mean? So people just don't, you know, like fish. It could just be fish. It could just be fish. You know what I mean? So it's like, it's the cultural thing that makes it

A little questionable, I would say. Right. Right. That is true. Yeah. What do you cook? You know what I mean? I mean, I get it. This bitch has probably never cooked. Like, most American college students have cooked, like, pancakes. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, she probably just doesn't cook at all. And this is just zero to 100 for her, right? Yes. She's like, these are the dishes she needs. She should be trying these at 34 and stealing them for her blog. For her mommy blog. Yeah.

Also, like, some things stink and they taste good. There's cheese that stinks that tastes good. Cumin can sometimes have a BO vibe, but I fucking love it. You know what I mean? It's, like, delicious. That's true. Cumin cheese stinks and it tastes good. So maybe you need to get in to stink. Right. Open your heart to stink. Get in to stink. Yeah.

Yeah, good luck. Sorry, that's not an easy one, but we're rooting for you. Anyway, that's going to do it for our episode, folks. Louie, thanks for being here, man. Thanks for having me. That was fun. That was great. So fun. Go watch the special, guys. It's out on YouTube right now. That's right. You're going to love it, and we will see you guys soon. Bye-bye.