3: Ian Fidance [PATREON PREVIEW]
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I live in Vegas and play poker sometimes. There's this really, really cool and cute girl who works at one of the poker rooms I play at a lot. And I've been trying to think of like a non-creepy way to like talk to her and, you know, ask for her number. I mean, I talk to her sometimes, but, you know, like actually...

ask for her number while she's at work because I don't really see her outside of work. I feel like that might be the best way and just, like, leave it to her. And, like, if she doesn't text me, like, that's fine. I don't know. Poker is, like, very, you know, male-dominated. So, you know, every time there's a cute girl in the room, whether, you know, she's at the table playing or working or whatever, there are always, like, creepy guys, like, trying to hit on her, you know,

And I don't want to be that kind of guy. Sure. But also, I really don't want to have sex with her. So...

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I have to say, personally, unless there's some kind of undeniable moment we share or something, really, I err on the side if I don't approach them when they're working because it's like... Totally. Because that's their job. Absolutely. And if it's someplace you go a lot, say you are struck down, you got to find a new place to go. Yeah, right. You're not going to keep showing up there like a fucking creep. Right. I say you walk up to her and immediately go, am I wrong? Is there something between us? Yeah.

I'd like to give you a royal flush. What is that, shitting in her pussy? That's a royal flush. Yeah, think this through. If you've seen her consistently for like a couple months and you still haven't had like a conversation or like a real long like rapport, you got no shot. Yeah, yeah. I would just be...

Very careful, and I'm erring on the side. Unless you're a gambling man. No. Because I think he does want to poker. No, no, no. That's not even a... Oh, my God. I did. Standing ovation. I did. Give him the crickets. Give him the crickets. No!

Poker was a little something. Gambling Man was not even a joke. And if it doesn't work out, you could throw her on the river. I'm the opposite. I think Gambling Man was a little something, but you lost me with poker.

I thought Vulcan was the one. I guess maybe you could say that joke was the flop. Come on. Shut up. Fuck you, Ian. Say, oh, is this Texas? Are your boobies Texas? Because I want to hold them. Oh, Jesus Christ, dude. You're just remembering terms. Ace of Spades.

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