756. Q&AF: Accepting Help In Your Business, Tell Family And Friends The Truth & Controlling What You Can Control
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What is up guys, it's Andy Frisella and this is the show for the realest. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society and welcome to

To motherfucking reality. Guys, today, as always, we start off the week getting better. That means we got Q and AF. This is where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now, you could submit your questions a few different ways. The first way is, guys, you can email these questions in to askandy at andyfrasella.com. Or you go on YouTube in the Q&A episodes and drop your question in the comments. We'll choose some from there as well.

Tomorrow, just give you a quick rundown. We're going to have CTI. That stands for Cruise the Internet. That's where we put topics on the screen. We speculate on what's true. We speculate on what's not true. And then we talk about how we, the people, have to solve some of these problems going on in the world. Other times throughout the week, we're going to have Real Talk. Real Talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk and talking.

Other times we're going to have 75 hard verses. We do have a really good 75 hard verses coming at you guys later this week. If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard verses,

You can get the program for free at episode 208. It is the world's most famous mental transformation program in history, and it is free. 75 Hard is the initial phase of the Live Hard Lifestyle, and again, you can get that for free at episode 208. There is a book available called The Book on Mental Toughness. You can get that at andyfercella.com. That

We'll outline the entire program, but it has a whole bunch of extra stuff in it too. 10 chapters on mental toughness, case studies on very famous people who have used mental toughness, and they explain what it means to them. Very valuable book. Not required to do the program, but you can get it if you want at andyfercella.com. Now, one of the things we do here at the show is we don't run ads on the show.

I don't want to listen to someone bitch about what I can and can't say. That's not what this show's about, all right? I'm not here to please advertisers. I'm here to speak about the things that I think are relevant. And because of that, we are constantly dealing with shadow bans, traffic throttling, removal of episodes, and it means that we heavily rely on you guys to share the show. If you don't share the show, nobody knows about it, all right? So, if the show makes you think, if it makes you laugh,

If it gives you new perspective, if it's something that you think people need to hear, do us a solid and share the show. All right? Don't be a hoe. Share the show. All right. What's up? What's going on, dude? Not much. Drinking the grape out today, I see. Yeah. Well, actually. You got some more mix there. Yeah. I got my, this is my pre-workout mix. A little cocktail. Mm-hmm. Yep.

Yeah. Well, what all is in that? You do megawatt and- Megawatt, carnitine, alpha surge, creatine. Man. Yeah. It's good too. A little jungle juice there. Yeah. It's a great pre-workout. I like it. So what's up with you? Yeah. Nothing much, man. Just here to help make people better. Cool. Let's get into it. Let's knock it out. Yeah. Guys, Andy, question number one.

And just wanted to start with saying thank you for changing my life I've been a listener since the original MF CEO days Went to my first RTA event in st. Louis a couple of years ago when David Goggins was there that changed my life It was the day I decided to risk it all and start a company now I have to want an agricultural drone spraying and one in construction anyway, thank you for helping me make that push my question is

When was it that you decided to accept help in your business? I sort of get the feeling that you are a, I want to get it done my kind of way guy. So am I. But when do you choose to let someone help you take some of the responsibility, but yet let them do it in their own way? I know you have to have failure to succeed,

But do you allow your crew to fail on your dime so that they can get better at what they do? Of course, you are there to help guide them. But how do you know when is the right time to let go of some of the responsibilities and let someone take over a bit? It's nerve wracking to not be in complete control, but how

Also, I'm too busy now to not allow someone else to take some of this off my plate, too. What's your thoughts on this, Andy? Well, the last part is the last sentence where he says, I'm too busy to not have people take some of this off the plate. Look, you have to realize that you can only go so far by yourself, all right? And you have to learn to get comfortable not just trusting people but helping people learn to

helping people grow, helping people gain skills, and then communicating to them what the purpose of your business is so that they can apply those skills there. Yeah, a lot of people do like to make all the decisions. Yeah, a lot of people do tend to do that longer than necessary.

You know, when you first start out in business, it is just you. So you're making all the decisions. You're doing all the calls. You're sending all the emails. You're building all the relationships. But as you go, you have to realize that you can only go so far without anybody actually helping you. And your goal should be to surround yourself with people who are better at the things that you are not great at.

so that you can have a great organization overall, right? Like I don't know how to create graphics or create animations, but those are things that we use in our companies every day. So I have to find people that are great at those things and then we have to merge their vision with my vision and then eventually they learn and then they start running the direction that we need them to go. Now,

In terms of letting them make mistakes, yeah man, you know, it's very important that you understand this as a business owner or as a leader or a manager of an organization.

If you fire someone or get rid of someone every single time they make a mistake, the person that you bring in behind them is likely to make the same mistake again. So that means it's going to cost you twice. All right. And if you fire the second person, the third person is going to make the same mistake again. So you have to think this out logically. Would you rather have the person who works with you, who you like, who you trust, who you know is skilled, who's made a mistake?

And then is it going to make that mistake again? Or would you rather replace that person every time and continue to pay for the mistakes over and over again? The answer is obvious. So we have to understand that mistakes that people make, quote unquote, to use his term, on your dime are actually investments in that person's skill set, investments in that person's progression and increases their stock value to the organization.

But that's only if they learn from their mistakes. If they come and they make the same mistake over and over and over again, that's where you have to make a change. So that's pretty much it, man. You know, it's not a natural thing to go from...

you know, being on your own to having employees. I remember, you know, the hardest thing I ever had to do in business, and this is going to sound stupid, like looking back, it sounds ridiculous. But when we went from the first store to the second store, that was the biggest deal that we could do because it took us forever.

five years to do that. The reason it took us five years to do that is because we thought that people were going to show up late. We thought people were going to steal. We thought people were going to treat us wrong. We thought people would treat the customers wrong. Guess what?

That happened. Okay. And that happened multiple times. And what we did, what it allowed us to do was create systems so that couldn't happen. And then we were able to scale the business out. So you have to understand that there's tons of value there.

in this process and you're not going to eliminate someone else's mistakes. You just have to understand when is the time that we're going to have grace with that, use it as a learning experience, help them grow, evolve, get better and become a stronger asset or when is the time that we're gonna have to make a change? And when we have to make a change, it comes from someone making the same mistake over and over and over again, showing apathy about learning from that mistake

and then just not getting any better. So that's my answer on the whole concept there. I love that. I got two questions for you on this. So the first one, would you say that if you are an entrepreneur, you run a team, you have a business, would you say that the biggest problem or the reason why people would have an issue trusting other people is because that leader, you didn't invest in their skills at all? Like you're scared that they're going to fail, but that's really like a you problem?

What do you mean? Like if I'm not, if I'm the CEO, I don't know business. Right. And I'm scared to kind of like, you know, delegate and push some tasks off on people. Does that say more about me and my inability to kind of like raise those people up? Like it's. Well, look, that's not a natural thing. That's what I'm saying. Like, who do you who do you trust the most? I trust myself. Right. Right.

And it takes when you have all your money and all your effort and all your time and your entire life invested in this business in this project and your ass is on the line every day. It's very difficult to give that over to someone else knowing that they could screw up and cost you. And fuck it up. Yeah. So, but here's the thing we have to understand, bro, is that very few mistakes are fatal. Very, very, very few. Almost everything can be corrected, right? So, yeah.

you know, allow people to make some mistakes, correct them. And as long as they learn and make up for it, it's an asset to your team. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. There's a second follow-up too, man, because you, you've met, you know, thousands of other entrepreneurs, right. At all different levels. You've seen this game at all different levels. You know, I feel like there, and this might just be me looking from the outside inside. Right. But like,

I feel like, you know, I've met people who've owned businesses and they almost have this like like this, this this weird attachment on their business like it's their baby. Right. And when you're trying to, you know, build

build a massive company. At what point do you transition that like, this is not just my baby, this is our baby and my vision that I originally had is great, but like this is our vision now. Like when do you start, when do you make that transition? Well, it's not really a transition, dude. It's just a way of

Of thinking you know and I agree with you a lot of people do get overly emotional about their business because of what I just said a minute ago it makes sense well yeah bro look most employees that work for someone I'm not talking about a big corporate organization you know Amazon's and shit like that because they're so far removed from the ownership that they can't really understand how that person would feel about it.

but you got to understand if you're a regular, like say regular person running a small to mid-sized business, bro, that's everything. You've, you've invested your nights, your weekends, you've foregone all kinds of normalcies in your life. Like a person who hasn't done that could not possibly understand what you've been through to have that business. So it's natural for someone to like, hold onto it. But the thing is, is that

If you want your business to become great and you want it to really scale, you have to share that

quote unquote ownership feeling with your entire team. This is us. This is what we're doing. This is our mission. This is what we're going to build together. And when you do it like that, you know, because most companies never do that. And if they try to do that, they don't really mean it. It creates something pretty special that can grow pretty quickly. You know what I mean? I think the biggest thing that entrepreneurs...

struggle with is knowing that entrepreneurs think differently than intrapreneurs. They're a different kind of thinker. So while an entrepreneur might think,

you know, I have to own my own business to feel validated or be successful. There's lots of entrepreneurs that are going to say, bro, you know, I don't want all that shit, but I want to be a key fucking player in an awesome winning organization. I don't need to be Jerry Jones that owns the Cowboys, but I want to be Emmett Smith, the hall of fame player. You know what I'm saying? And that's the mentality of most people and true entrepreneurs are

have a problem connecting that because dude, we only know and see the world through the way that we think in our perspective. So for the longest time, I couldn't understand people that didn't see it like me until I had someone pointed out to me. I had this lady who was an executive at Domino's pizza that I got to meet, you know, 15 years ago.

And we were having a good conversation and she was like, "Hey," she's like, "You need to realize this right now is that you're the anomaly. Most of these people are not going to think like you. They don't want to invest their entire lives in this. They want to contribute. They want to do something valuable, but they don't necessarily want to own that entire risk on their back because as you know, that's a crazy amount of pressure."

And it is. And not everybody's built for it. And that's why I get so upset about the way that the internet culture is painting this picture for every single person as if they're an entrepreneur. Entrepreneur is the hardest path you will ever take for a career. It is...

Infinitely harder. It's not even close. It's not even comparable. It's entrepreneur and everything else. It's entrepreneur and pro athlete. It's entrepreneur and fucking everything. Everything else you think is a high earning job or a prestigious job, YouTube influencer, all this shit.

Running an actual organization and building it from the ground up is the hardest fucking thing you could ever choose to do with your life. Period. And not everybody wants to do that because it does consume your entire life. That's reality. And the guys that do it,

They love it. They're like bro. This is awesome. I love this right and then the regular people who Aren't built that way mentally they look at it and they're like, I don't want to give all that I want to have about bro. You're just it's okay We see the world differently, you know It's hard for people to understand that there are people out there that actually love that life. You know what I mean? So we have to always just think dude

you know, what are we trying to do? What are we, what is our mission? What is our goal? Where are we trying to get to? And how can I utilize the people around me and get them involved and get them to want to, to do what we're trying to do in a way where it makes them feel fulfilled and it makes them happy and it builds a career for them. So I truly think one of the biggest keys about building a successful organization is, is really just,

Building it for the people around you. That's that's what it comes down to that took me about 15 years to figure out in business I love it guys any question number two Eddie as I've grown I've tried my best to build the people around me in the process and

The problem I'm having with families specifically is that they take what I say the wrong way and start to play victim. My question to you is, have you ever made any adjustments to your delivery to get people to listen? They need my help, but I don't want to push them away with the way that I deliver the message. So people that you really care about, do you change the delivery? I mean, what's your what's your outlook on that?

No, I think if you really care about someone, you tell them the truth. I think if you really want to be kind to someone, you tell them the truth. I think if you really want the best for someone, you tell them the exact truth. You know, the truth doesn't have to be mean. That's what people don't. They have this mentality where they say, oh, I got to have a hard conversation. What's hard about telling someone the truth about where they need to improve?

When you care about that person, don't you want the best life for that person? Don't you want them to win? Don't you want them to be successful? If you did, then why would you hesitate to tell them how they could get better? Now, if you do feel like you are...

criticizing them in a negative way, or if it comes across that way, that's one of two things. One, your delivery is off and you need to get your intent right. Usually people understand and can feel someone's intent. So like if I were to correct someone, even if it's somewhat from the outside harsh, that person can usually feel the intent behind it, which is, Hey, I want you to get better. And that's how it works. But a lot of

operators, leaders, CEOs, etc. managers, they don't have the right intent. Their intent is still about them and how they're going to perform and how they're going to hit their metrics and how they're going to get paid. So when they criticize someone, it's like, hey, dude, you're a piece of shit. You're fucking costing me, blah, blah, blah. That is not the right intent. The right intent is, hey,

Bro, you're fucking up right here. And the reason I'm telling you you're fucking up is because I want the best for you, okay? You're doing this, you're doing this, you're doing this, and we need you doing this. You want to be good? Yeah? All right. Well, this is what you need to do. And, dude, if you have it that...

If you present the conversation the right way, I've found that the harshness of it is almost irrelevant. Now, are there times where you go a little too hard? Yeah, absolutely. What should you do in those times? Well, that's when you come back an hour later and you say, hey, listen, dude, I love you, man. I appreciate you. I want you to win. That's why I'm saying it's not personal. If it came across personal, the only thing personal here is that I want you to get better. Okay. And people fucking respect that.

And a lot of you guys are so fucking soft and so afraid to say anything. Like, if you think you're going to build a successful organization when you're afraid to have conversations with people because you're afraid they're going to be mad at you, you're not going to do very well, dude. You're actually, you're not going to make it at all. So,

That comes down to us adjusting how we look at these conversations and how we should look at these conversations where criticism is involved is that we are having this conversation because I want my person standing here in front of me who I care about to get better. And if they get better, we all get better. So...

It's about changing the perspective of the conversation. Like this whole, I got to have a hard conversation with bro. You're setting it up to be hard. What's hard about that?

What's hard about telling someone hey, man, I want you to do this and this so you'd be better What's what I mean that that shouldn't be hard that like if you actually care about them You should be jumping at the chance to say hey, dude. I noticed this I noticed this you know if you're a peer if you're a peer of someone you're the same level of them And you're building an organization holding someone accountable to their performance is is a tremendous asset

that you you could have like dude peer-to-peer leadership is one of the most valuable skill sets and people don't understand that they can even lead that way they think to be a leader you got to have a title dude to be a leader you you lead and then you get the title of leader right you lead first and then eventually people recognize you as the leader they don't come around and say you're a leader and now you need to go lead that's not how the fuck it works

The best leaders in the world got put into leadership roles because they were leading before they were actually named the leader. That's the truth. Nobody gets elected president

without some sort of you know evidence that they're a leader right nobody gets to be ceo without some evidence that they're a leader they were doing that before and that's actually the key to your entire career whatever position you want wherever you were trying to go whatever you were trying to build you have to do that before you actually get told that this is your role you see what i'm saying yeah

You think great artists were not artists before they were considered great? Right. You see what I'm saying? They were doing that for a long time. So you have to decide where you want to go, start doing it, and eventually you'll become that.

And a lot of people think it's the other way. They want someone to come along and say, you're a great artist. Oh, now I'll start. Now I'll start. Yeah. Right. Masterpiece. Yes. Yeah, dude. And that's not how it works. People got it backwards. I want to ask you on that. You talk about peer to peer leadership and that accountability aspect. Why do you why do you think so many people have issues with holding, you know, friends or family or peers accountable? Well, I think it's because what we talked about a minute ago, they're afraid of some sort of personal backlash, right?

They're afraid of them not liking them. You know, the idea of not having people not like you is insane. Like you don't like everybody.

So you think everybody's gonna like you? Like, you know, if you really just think about it, like there's a whole list of people I don't fucking like. Right. You know what I'm saying? So I don't expect everybody to like me. I'm sure there's a list of people that don't like you. Yeah. I assume there is. And I assume it is what it is. But I also assume that that's okay. You know what I'm saying? Like, this is America, bro. You don't have to like me. You can think whatever the fuck you want. I'm going to do what I'm going to do. I'm going to help the people around me. And quite honestly, I'm...

If they don't like me and we still accomplish the goal, I'm okay with that too, right? Because they're better the customers better and I'm better we're all winning so we don't always have to get along, bro But I find that when you do have the proper intent people do get along because they know that you know Hey like this really do this all comes down to intent. I think another issue is is that I

You know, people have a hard time holding themselves accountable. So if you can't hold yourself accountable and you can't live with integrity to the own rules that you set in your brain, you're always going to feel uncomfortable holding someone else accountable. You know, like you get that weird feeling where like, fuck, dude, they might not listen to me. Well, yeah, because you don't listen to you.

You see what I'm saying? So there's all kinds of things that go into this, but ultimately it comes down to your intent. If your intent is right and you care about the goal, you care about the person, you know, helping someone get better should be something that you seek to do, not something that you try to avoid. I love it, man.

I love it, guys. Andy, question number three. Question number three, guys. Andy, I love the show, your message, everything you teach, brother. It's truly changing things out here. One message that I love your take on is controlling the things you can't control. I feel too often people let external things completely take over their lives, regardless if those things are actually taking over their lives. My question is, though,

What was an internal battle that you struggled with, identified and overcame in your journey thus far? How did you recognize it and how did you defeat it? Yeah. So for me, it was food and alcohol. OK, I could not control alcohol.

My food right in 2014 1516 here I am running this massive company and I'm 350 fucking pounds and my companies all of them are based around fitness. How does that make sense? It doesn't all right and Something that I came to realize around that time which is ultimately, you know What led to the development of live hard and 75 hard is that if I can't control the basics? How can I control the big stuff?

You see what i'm saying and the control of the big stuff comes from your ability to master the basics so When I looked in the mirror and I saw myself at 350 pounds Yeah, I didn't like it But I went my whole life where I would diet down and then get fat again and diet down and then get fat again And diet down and then get fat again. I did that a bunch of times And it wasn't until I realized that that was a mental weakness that that was a mental problem I

was giving control over myself to things that were legitimately inanimate objects, food, alcohol, whatever. These are not even influential things. These are just things. This is just a thing. It's a fucking can with some liquid in it. And when we start looking at things for what they actually are, we break it down. It's pretty embarrassing. And I had that mental realization where I'm like,

Dude, you're up here, you know, giving all this advice, leading these people and you're a fucking fraud, dude. You can't even control the basic shit in your life. And at that time, you know, I was definitely, you know, on this search of, you know, what's my purpose and, you know, mentally, what am I supposed to be doing and how do I feel better about myself?

And I thought there was something wrong with me because I didn't feel good about myself. No, I didn't feel good about myself because I wasn't exercising basic levels of discipline in my life, which makes me feel helpless, which makes me feel chaotic, which takes away all the things that make us feel good. Confidence, self-esteem, self-belief. These things matter every day to how we feel about ourselves. And if we can't even keep the promises that we make to ourselves, then...

We know that on the inside, like that's our internal voice. Like, you know, you're full of shit. Like all of you sitting right there right now and you're listening to this show and

You know that fucking a whole bunch of you are full of shit because you're not living the standard that you know you should live. Okay? And until you live that standard, until you get to that point where you are actually controlling the things that you know you need to control, you are going to continue to feel bad about yourself. So when I discovered that, it changed my life. First off, I got pissed. I was like, dude, I can't believe I allow these things.

Inadamant things to control my decision-making. I'm I take pride in being you know a strong person and I was fooling myself because I wasn't a strong person I was lying to myself I thought because I had a few dollars and you know I was I had become somewhat successful Which at the time I was very successful in my mind and now I look that's a weird dynamic there like you even at that place in 2014

To most people that that was success. Oh, yeah compared to where you are now though. Like what's that? Yeah, but see dude It happened organically because I got in control of all the things that I could control. I started controlling my food I started controlling what I drank. I started controlling how I exercise and I was I was diligent about it and

When I started controlling all the things in my life that I had control of, which, by the way, are a lot. It's most of the things that make up our quality of life. We are in control of. Okay. Yeah. We're not in control of the economy. Yeah. We're not in control of, you know, attacks that happen or whatever. Right. And whether. Yeah. We can't control these things. Yeah. But.

And that's why in Live Hard there's outdoor workouts because guess what? We're not always going to be able to control the environment, but we have to execute anyway. And when we start to control these things, regardless of what's going on around us, that's what builds the confidence. That's what builds the self-belief. That's what takes you from this place of uncertainty and anxiousness and feeling poorly about yourself to

to a place of strength where you have certainty, you have belief, you have confidence, you know that it doesn't matter what happens to you, you're still gonna get the job done. And when you're in that place, you're very powerful. And when you're in the other place, you're very weak. Now you could project strength from that place, but it's not real. And when you go home at night, you just feel like more of a fraud. So if you wanna feel good and you wanna feel fulfilled and you wanna have true confidence, true belief,

and really just set your life on a path for massive levels of success, you have to learn to control the things that you are in control of. And the truth of the matter is you are in control of almost everything that dictates the quality of your life. 98% of it. Now we are very good at telling ourselves, oh, you know, this happened or that happened or this or that or this. Bro, you're full of shit.

Okay. Millions of people just like you have gone way further than you with worse circumstances. That's the truth. And you sit there and you pick apart why you're not where you are when in reality, you're only not where you are because of a very simple concept. You have refused to understand that truth.

You are in control of all of these things and because you don't want to put in the effort or you've been hanging around the wrong people that have convinced you otherwise, you are now at a point where you feel like you're floating through the air and life just sort of comes at me and we'll see what happens. It's a completely different type of living. Those people never get anywhere. You cannot get anywhere without intentional control of your environment that is available to you. You cannot get anywhere. If you float through life,

And you have that attitude, you know, it's kind of take what you get. And it's never good because all the people who are living the other way, the intentional way, they are intentionally controlling their outcome. They are intentionally controlling their environment. They are intentionally making decisions that they know. And they've built that mental strength to do so.

They're those people take all the good shit and it's what's left over is for the floaters, right? So, um, yeah, man, I mean, this is the whole concept of what live hards about what, you know, people think they still think it's a fucking diet. Like I see these trainers talk shit on it and they say, Oh, it's a fucking diet. You haven't even read the program, bro.

If you were smart, you'd use the fucking framework of the program to get your clients results because they would get 10 times better results. And not only would they get better results, they're going to, when they get better results, you look better as a trainer. You see what I'm saying? So like it's a mental reprogramming. So,

So that you can go from someone who's out of control to someone who is in control. And when you live your life in control, you control the outcome for most things. So, you know, we've been conditioned over and over and over and over and over again for, for dude, as long as I can remember in my life that there was uncertainty in the outcome of our existences because, you know, uh, that's just the way it was. Like people will say things, you know, and you never really hear, uh,

super wealthy successful accomplished people say this you always hear people say this they haven't done anything they talk about luck they talk about circumstance they talk about yeah all these things that you know i didn't have the breaks i didn't get this i didn't get that well that's not true bro what's what's true is you didn't control intentionally your life while other people did okay and

You know, that's the mentality that the masses have about the exists do think about everybody, you know, how do they live? Do they live intentionally where they control every single decision that they make or do they have the attitude of well, that's just life, you know, got this I'll get through it. These are my cards. Yeah, what? Where do most people live? Most people live there and I would say it's like

98% of people live there, which if you really think about what that means for you, someone who's trying to live intentionally, that means that it's unlimited buffet of success for you because no one else is even trying to eat.

They're just trying to, you know, see what they can catch off the dinner table. You're over there making the fucking dinner and you're going to eat as much as possible. And they're going to get a couple bites of the scraps. And that's the reality, dude. And it's more than just success. It's how you feel about yourself, right? How many of you feel uncertain or in this place of anxiousness or in this place of, you know, I'm not sure how this is going to work out. Most people feel that way.

But people who intentionally control their decisions and they've developed the discipline to do the things they know they need to do. And when they make a promise to themselves, they can do it. Those are the people that feel amazing. Those are the people that are fulfilled. Those are the people that are excited about life and they're pumped and they want to attack.

It completely changes your existence. And anybody who's actually done 75 hard or the full live hard program or lives that lifestyle understands exactly what I'm talking about. But people who don't, they're like, oh, this sounds like hocus pocus. Well, yeah, it does because you, you know, anything's going to sound like hocus pocus when you've never fucking done it. Right. That's real, man. Let me ask you this too, because I also feel like, you know,

There's a third class of people. And this is like, I don't know if you want to call them like this is where the miserable people will live. But people who know that there's something they have to change. They like they know it and they don't know nothing about. Yeah. Yeah. Can we talk about that a little bit? Well, I mean, you said it. They're miserable. If you know what you need to do and you do not do it.

Every single time you tell yourself in the morning, today's the day, I'm going to eat right today, I'm going to lift today, I'm going to make these emails today, and you don't do it when you go to bed, your stock in yourself shrinks a little bit every day. And if you do that for years and years and years and years and years, you beat down your own self-image so far that it becomes this little speck of dust and you cannot even comprehend that you are capable of anything.

You see what I'm saying? So if you beat on yourself over and over and over again, I'm not talking about this negative self-talk. I'm talking about with your actions. I'm talking about you knowing what you need to do and then you not doing it. That is intentional degradation of one's own character and belief in themselves. And it will shrink you down to nothing, to where you think you can do nothing, be nothing, create nothing, become nothing, and you'll be miserable. That's the reality. But it's

easy to change by just understanding and taking ownerships of our lives and saying, hey man, I'm actually in control of way more than I'm giving myself credit for and I've been lying to myself. That's the key. Admit that you've been lying to yourself. It's okay. We've all lied to ourselves.

Over and over again in our lives. None of these people out here that pretend like they've never done that They're full of shit. Everybody does it It's called the human experience and we are so good at lying to ourselves That it doesn't even sound like a lie after a while after a while. It's just the truth. You know, I can't control what I eat I'm big bone. I'm overweight because my mom was overweight, right and

And after a while, you just accept that. You tell yourself that story, even if it's a fucking lie. You see what I'm saying? So we have to admit to ourselves and say, yeah, I have been lying to myself. And that's the first step. That is the first step to changing your entire life. It's just taking responsibility for the lies that you have been telling yourself for years and years and years and then saying,

Okay, well, what can I actually do? And that's a dude, you're being born into a whole new world whenever you stop that and you stop that cycle of lying to yourself and then start taking the actual proper action.

Intentful action towards who you want to become and bro every single day and people will attest to this that live live harsh lifestyle When you wake up in the morning and you know You did exactly what you're supposed to do the day before you have this power about you already because you're like fuck Yeah, bro. All right. I'm you might look in the mirror. You might look at your bank account You might look at your life and say fuck it's still kind of fucked up but

I did what I was supposed to do yesterday. And it gives you this extra power that most people never ever experience even once, which is really sad.

I mean, if you want to learn that program, what I'm, that's the live hard program guys. Like the live hard program will develop the skillset that we are talking about right here. It will teach you to control the controllables. It will teach you to have self belief, confidence, self esteem in yourself because you are keeping the promises that you make to yourself every day. Uh, it also happens to get you in shape, but it's still not a fitness program and it's still not a diet and it's still not a fucking challenge.

It's a program. It's a lifestyle. You can get it for free at episode 208. I love it, man. I love it. Guys, Andy, that was three. All right, guys. Let's go out and have a good week. We'll see you on CTI tomorrow.