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My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.
My friend's still laughing at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to LinkedIn.com slash results to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. What's the scandal your school was known for? This was on Twitter. This was on Twitter.
Security guard had a fully functional meth lab in our chemistry class. It was closed down for months after that. Nah, surely not. The security guard...
To be fair, if you're the security guard at a school, you can pick locks. You've got options and you've got nothing in your account. Facts. You're a minimum wage. A security guard at a school? I just did. Yeah, a security guard at a school. You're not getting paid. Yeah, yeah. That meth lab. I'll be doing up meth labs as well. Yeah, water white and a halting. Yeah, yeah, rags. The principal was running a dogfight ring in the middle of the night on weekends out of the gymnasium.
Teachers were involved and even some students. Only reason they got caught is because a teacher's OnlyFans account showed the dogs fighting while she was giving head to someone. No, that's not true. That's not true, bro. Just slops in the background, some dogs. And you just see the principal in there. Principal and a couple of students. And you say, nah, nah, nah, nah. And you see like an emblem. That's my school, big man. Fam, they got caught. Hang on.
twisted they got caught because one of the teachers has an only fans and she was sucking dick in the fight ring in the fight arena or the area yeah and saw a couple dogs in her back also yeah dogs principals and students in the back yeah also who was watching the only fans video
Who's the snitch that was signed up to our OnlyFans? That's what I want to know. Who's the fucking snitch that was on OnlyFans and ran out the dogfighting ring? The whole thing. Man's closed a lot of doors for a lot of people. There was money being made that day. From all different angles, there was money being made that day. He's fucked up so many places. My school janitor was selling student semen at a sperm bank. For what?
For what? Who was buying it? What do they need semen for? Fuck knows. Fuck knows. Jesus. Ex-CCSU athlete says he had to drink blood. No. New Britain, a former...
A former runner at the Central Connecticut State University has sued the school, saying a coach forced him to drink blood as a kind of tribal ritual. These men have lost their mind. A tribal ritual, brother. I'm not drinking anyone's blood. A third grader at my sister's elementary school dressed up as Hitler.
Did a presentation on him and had her report hung up in the hallway for a month. The assignment was about world leaders who had great achievements. 50% of the school students were Jewish. Mad. Hitler was a great world leader. He achieved a lot. To be fair, he did achieve a lot. It's not greatness. It's not greatness. It's impressive. I'm just going to throw it out there. Controversial.
It's impressive. The gang does kind of needed bits too. He had everyone on the ropes. One country had Europe on the ropes. The world war was literally the world versus Germany. Versus him. Yeah. Impressive. Mad. This is just a heading. Former teacher and coach arrested again for touching students. Nah. Again. Again, James.
Former Bloomingdale High School teacher sentenced to 15 years for voyeurism involving over 100 students. For what? Voyeurism. What's that? When you watch people. When someone's a voyeur means, no, when someone's a voyeur, they either like watching or like being watched during sex. Oh, cucking. Yeah, basically. Yeah, like that. You like being watched or you like watching. So who is he watching?
either he was watching students or students were watching him either way either way penitentiary i don't even know if it's a scandal but some kid had a kill list in his locker he even brought the strap to school he just didn't end up doing it motherfucker had me second in line oh on the list oh my god i'm leaving that school today immediately today
And I'm so offended. Why me? I'd have to confront him. Like, why? Why am I second, bro? What did I do? Why am I even on the list? What did I actually do? Motherfucker had me second in line. No way. I would fall to my knees, bro.
I'd be like, I could have not made it home today. You know when they post the, like, who made the cheerleading squad? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And everyone gathers around. When we find this kill list, everyone gathers around. I'm at the back. I'm seeing the man looking at me. What's everyone looking at, bro? What the fuck are you looking at? And just see the school bastard number top. And then me? My world would collapse, bro.
Because everyone's onto you like, what did you do to my man? What did you do? Especially if I'm looking at a man and they're like, makes sense. Makes sense. Fuck off. Fuck off. I'll be so vexed. Oh, wow. I'll fall to my knees. Our band director was caught with male prostitutes in his hotel while he was on a school trip. Fam, this one sweetened me. Go on then. Go on, go on, go on. One time, the cook made nothing but potatoes for dinner. Yeah.
- Bro, that will start a riot in my school. - Family! - No sausages, no chicken, just potatoes. - Just potatoes for dinner. Do you know how many phone calls the school would get that day? - The parents would be kicking off. - I paid money for my kids to have lunch. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No tuck shop, nothing. No tuck shop, just potatoes. - That's a scandal. I don't think you get it. That's one of the funniest things I've ever read.
Oh my god. Explain yourself. That's what I have to ask. Explain yourself. The head teacher will run to the kitchen. What's going on? Man's just scooping mash. Tell me something, bro. We're having potatoes today. That's what's happening. Nah. Nah.
That's too funny. Oh, that's jokes. The treasurer of the school. Sorry. The treasurer of the school got caught stealing bands of money. Oh, this is multiple. Sorry. The treasurer of the school got caught stealing bands of money. One. A special ed girl got a special ed boy. A special ed girl got pregnant by a special ed boy. Number two. Wow. Number three. Two teachers got caught by a special ed kid having sex in the classroom and got fired.
Is this a special ed school? Mad. You know that you would tell everyone. If I'm one of those teachers getting clocked by a special ed student,
I'm spinning lies. Yeah, he's a liar. He's a fucking little liar. Don't believe a word that comes out of his mouth. Bro. Don't believe a word that comes out of his mouth. I don't know why, but when you said that as well, I was thinking, I feel like if I was a teacher in a school, I'd be fucking the female teachers.
In the school. Okay. Inside the school or from the school? Inside the school. Okay. I don't know why because this is such a boring job. Yeah. And I've got nothing to do. You're always flirting in the teacher's lounge. You're always flirting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's probably similar to your restaurant stories. Yeah, facts. You're always flirting. Facts, bro. Is this banging teachers? Yeah, because you're there literally every day. Every single day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Same with every other job, but it's so incestual over there. And there's skirts up in here.
There's skirts up in here. Of age, by the way. We're talking about teachers. I'm talking about teachers, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's just tings. Yeah, bro. Everyone's bored. There's skirts. Yeah, right. Fuck. I'd consistently be back in an empty classroom. Oh my days. I'd get caught. Oh, rags. Rags. Gay sex in a woodshop bathroom recorded and distributed to the entire school. From a teacher? Potentially. Potentially. Wow.
Freshmen stole, vandalized and destroyed the bathrooms to the point of them being closed off. A whole sink was ripped off the wall. Everybody had to use a portable bathroom in front of the school for a year and a half. A year and a half? Is that how long it takes to fix a bathroom? I'm leaving the school. What did they do? I'm leaving the school. Rags. My mum wouldn't let me continue with this school.
But yeah, those are the scandals of the week. School scandals of the week. That's insane, bro. Some of them things were. There was one I read that I can't find now, obviously. Something to do with PETA, like P-E-T-A, the animal thing. The animal people. Fam, it said students dissected cat intestines and were playing jump rope with it. No. Bruv, I saw the thing. Not a video, but like a screenshot of a news thing. Fam, you know what's mad? What?
I'm always such an advocate of like when people are like, oh, you're influenced like TikTok stuff or whatever. And they're like, these apps are dangerous. They're influencing kids. And I'm always on the side. Oh, shut up. Shut up. Like,
let the kids do what they want to do bro they're not gonna tiktok's not gonna make them fuck start fucking killing people chill it's all good yeah and then you hear that yeah and i think i don't think anything but tiktok to take out cat intestines and start skipping rope fam that has to be tiktok i don't know because no one else has the power to do that because my brethren couldn't convince me yeah no one could never only a famous person could convince me to do it
Only, literally, only the YouTuber of YouTubers... At a tender age of 14 to 16? At a tender age of that and their impressionable age could convince me to start slaughtering cats and skipping around with their intestines. No one else could convince me with that. That's insanity. No one else has that level of influence over me. Especially...
If there's multiple of us, because there's not a ringleader that can convince all of us to do that. It has to be a trend. What's up guys. Thank you very much for listening. That was a short clip from our most recent Patreon episode. If you enjoyed it and you want to get the full episode, head on over to patreon.com forward slash podcast.
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