Shownotes Transcript
My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.
My friend's still laughing at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to LinkedIn.com slash results to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be.
What made him bad in bed? She tweeted this and obviously just replies as per. Okay, bet. Let's go. So one chick report, bad kisser, kept licking my neck like an animal grooming its kid. Yuck. Couldn't finger properly. He bit my clit, poor upper body strength. So we kept leaning on my breasts for support when he was on top.
That's jokes. Poor upper body strength. Some of the descriptive words people opt to use is so painful to him. To annihilate the male species. Poor upper body strength. I can't even imagine. Bro. That's poor. That's fucking harsh. He had to lean on my breasts for support. While banging Mish. Fuck's sake. Open his eyes when kissing. Yuck, to be fair.
She said, zero foreplay, not even kissing, stuck it in me and asked me why I'm tight and dry. I was like, excuse me? Shoved it in and said, why are you tight and why are you dry? Don't you know we're having sex? I'm clearly boinking hard and you're Sahara dry. What's going on? Play your part. Fucking play your part. This chick put, couldn't take constructive criticism. Yeah.
I just want the laughing emoji. Sometimes it is tough. To be fair, it depends on what someone's definition of constructive criticism is. Because there's... That's subjective. I don't mind instructional stuff. If it's like a harder, faster, slower, left, right. Right there, right there. Yeah, right there, right there. Right there, right there is what I like. Come on. Yeah, that's something. But if it's like a... Look.
You seem to think that I enjoy this and I'm not sure why.
I don't know what those other bitches like, but this is painful. So if you could just, you know, stop doing that and actually like learn how to fuck, that would be great. Oh yeah. Yeah. She wouldn't make it halfway through a sentence before I'm soft as anything. That's too much talk. Yeah. That's too, I mean, my dick's inside me. You're talking way too much. That's all I'll be thinking. You're talking way too much. My dick's inside you. You shouldn't.
You shouldn't be able to talk like this. You shouldn't be able to make these cognitive sentences. Yeah, you shouldn't be able to flow your way through a sentence like this. Yeah, you're too coherent. I don't like it. I genuinely don't like it. That's jokes. One chick book, he doesn't give head. And I think that's so poor.
It is so poor. It is poor. It is actually poor. Like it needs to get sussed and addressed. Because I just don't understand. Obviously back, we've spoken about this before. I think on the last, maybe the last YouTube episode before about giving head back in the day in school and stuff. Like how we said, if you're in second school, you can never say, oh, you were giving head, blah, blah, blah. Obviously that was then. Like this is now.
Regardless of the age of whoever sent this in or whoever the guy is, the recipient is. Big man, just get... It's 2022, man.
Like, if you're having sex, just give head, bro. Literally give head. It's not even... We're not asking for much. Yeah. You know? They're not asking for much. We're not asking for much. Just do what you need to do. Eat some pom. Suck some dick. Just give head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's standard. It's so basic. It's like a lips at this point. It is. It is like a lips at this point. When I hear he or she doesn't give head, I literally hear, they don't kiss me before they fuck me. And I'm like...
What are you talking about? Literally, what? What are you actually talking about? Like, it's childish behavior, man. No wonder women are sick of us. It's childish behavior. It is still. He tried to grip my neck and couldn't gather the strength. He started to shake. Nah, fam. Please stop. He started to shake. The muscle contraction, he just couldn't handle it anymore. And she's just like, yawn. Yeah.
Grab me. If you're going to grab me, fucking grab me. Be stronger. Be a male. Fuck. No waistline. Just in and out was extremely boring. No foreplay. Lack of affection. No girth. Silence. Less than 10 minutes. That's a bullet point. Bro. No foreplay. Lack of affection. No girth. She wrote silence in capitals. No girth. No silence. Less than 10 minutes.
oh yeah that's not an experience man okay this is a random round this is not actually it's not right i don't know why i said random because it's completely relevant to this um what's i think we've probably had this conversation what's a good length of time for four player for sex for actual sex because right right i'm talking about sex like actual intercourse not
full play then intercourse then sucking dick again and then a bit of fingering and then fucking again like that can go on for like an hour yeah i'm talking about from when i've given head you've given head and i've stuck it in and i'm not i'm not stopping yeah i'm only changing positions no one's giving head anymore yeah no one's giving head anymore there's no pauses no one's pulling out no one's doing anything we are actually fucking now yeah none of that yeah we are banging and
From that point to nutting, like what's an actual nut? Not taking like this is a good amount of time or bad. What's a like appropriate amount of time? I would say 15 to 20. 15 to 20. I feel like 20 is long because I think about it. I compare it to other stuff. Okay. Like watching a show. Like I compare it to like, how do I explain it?
Okay, okay. Okay, well, let's not even, not even that other stuff, but let's talk about other physical activities. Okay. Imagine 20 minutes of a football match and you're one of 11. You're tired. Yeah. Imagine it's just you. Yeah. 1v1 of anything for 20 minutes. Let's just say a boxing match. It's like three minute rounds. We're talking three minute rounds. To get to 20 minutes, we're talking what?
That's at least six rounds. Six, seven rounds? Six rounds. Six and a bit rounds, yeah. They get gaps in between. Yeah. That's a long time. That is a long time. 20 minutes? Yeah, but it's a different form of exertion. Of course. I'm not talking about being tired. Of course. I'm just saying. But I feel like 20 minutes because I think like, what do I do for 20 minutes? 20 minutes is a long time. We actually sit there and actually count it or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And because we're stroking... I'm stroking at what? I'm talking...
Yeah, let me find my cadence. I'm trying to find my 20 minute cadence because I've got different cadences for different positions. Yeah, this is like, it's my four minute cadence. Yeah.
20 minute cadence? You're slow and deep. It's slow and deep. It's slow and deep. This is what's up because I think I've got ADHD. Okay. Because when you tell me- I feel like I know I've got ADHD. Because when you're telling me 20 minutes and I'm thinking of this cadence, I'm thinking I'm so bored. Yeah.
Because I can't keep that cadence up for long. Oh no, neither could I. We're going to have to go for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And yeah, I'm either... To be fair, it depends on what mindset I'm in. If I'm trying to leave an impression, 20 minutes here, we're doing up-down cadences. We're doing obviously bare positions. And I'm trying to aim... We're trying to pattern a nut for you. Like...
maybe twice before I'm, before these 20 minutes are up. But if we're just going, if this is the 19th time I've banged you, 20 minutes, promise you're on board. Promise you're on board. I haven't got time for that cadence. Yeah. If we're, we're in a relationship now. Yeah, I haven't got time for that cadence.
I'd rather go multiple rounds than do like 20 half an hour. Yeah. I'm like a wholesome between seven and 13 minutes. Okay. Just banging. Yeah. From, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're doing better other stuff. We could be talking half an hour, 45. Hour, like, if I'm really, really, really, like I've got some drink in my belly. Yeah. Yeah. And time's flying. But yeah, I'm talking, if we're in a relationship, it's,
You're getting that 7-13 back in. 7-13. Okay. 7-13. Okay. Because, yeah. Yeah, I like... I want to...
I want to catch you on your way out of the toilet or something like that. I want to catch you doing up some dishes and it's just a little, yeah, they're called six, seven minutes there. If it's bedtime, I'm a bit tired. 13. It's been a long day. Yeah. 13. I'm thinking we don't need to be up all night. Like let's just, let's just not. Yeah. 20 minutes to me is I will get bored. Okay. But I don't know. I would still say 15 to 20 for you, but I understand where you're coming from. Um,
Some ladies made a screen. Ladies in the comments below, let us know what you feel. Obviously we're thinking of men as men, obviously. Ladies, let us know what you think is an appropriate time or amount of time for just penetration. Yeah. And this is like I said, not a good time, not a bad time, just an average, average appropriate time. What you think would be good for you.
So yeah, let us know in the comments. I think I've got one more. Sorry, I forgot this is even still in the thread. Minor, bro. I love tangents. So I've got three more. Go on. So the question again was, sorry, what made him bad in bed? And acting like my clip was the analog stick on a PlayStation controller. Just...
Didn't go down or foreplay. Stopped three times during sex because he was tired. And then patted himself on the back when I came without his help. Last one. What does a pat on the back look like in that scenario? But he did nothing. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. 23 with erectile dysfunction and was delusional about it.
Delusional. Swear. Damn. Erectile dysfunction. Delusional about it. That's...
Bro! But yeah, that's the thread. I was delusional about it. That's the thread about what we need. What's up, guys? Thank you very much for listening. That was a short clip from our most recent Patreon episode. If you enjoyed it and you want to get the full episode, head on over to patreon.com forward slash
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