WHAT DID YOU DO TO RUIN THE DEED?! | EP 433
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Ryan Reynolds here from Int Mobile. With the price of just about everything going up during inflation, we thought we'd bring our prices down.

So to help us, we brought in a reverse auctioneer, which is apparently a thing. Mint Mobile Unlimited Premium Wireless. How did they get 30, 30, how did they get 30, how did they get 20, 20, 20, how did they get 20, 20, how did they get 15, 15, 15, 15, just 15 bucks a month? Sold! Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. $45 upfront payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Taxes and fees extra. Speeds lower above 40 gigabytes each detail. I cleared my throat one time and it killed the fire. Oh!

I know what you mean! I can't believe my throat! I know what you mean! Yeah, yeah, I'm like... Yeah, are you good over there? Yeah, are you alright?

Guys. Girls. Welcome back in. Welcome back indeed. Yeah, man. I've got nothing else to say, but let's get it cracking. Question of the week. As you know, we start off with a banger. And the question of the week this week was, what did you do to ruin a romantic slash sexy moment? Can you guys think of any moments that this has happened to you before? No, I didn't ruin it, but I need... Well, actually, yeah. Um...

It's all flooding back. - Yeah. I think it's been a couple of times. There was one time I was on a young 69er. Young 69er and I had, it was dread. I had my hands wrapped. - Yeah, yeah. - La, la, la, la, la. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, I was doing all sorts. And one of my, basically,

you know when you get a skin rub my skin was stuck to her skin so my biceps was stuck to her thigh skin and it was bothering me okay so i just needed to like free yeah free my arm a little bit yeah so i just like just trying to stay in the motion and i just quickly shifted out of that which caused her weight to drop a little bit yeah and she knacked my tooth ah one of them ones yeah yeah from there i just stayed i didn't look anywhere else but the ceiling i was like it's charged

The whole session is charged. - Damn. - And it was, yeah. She ended the session there and then. - Damn. For me again, during a bit of rough play. I think it was, I'm trying to remember the position. Long story short, my hammy. - Cramped up. - Yeah. Yeah. I think you could have been cow. And- - Standard cow? - I think, yeah. Standard cow. Was there cow?

I think it was standard cow and I think my right or left, it could have been either. It just seized. And yeah, every like, ah, every like rock. I'm like, yo, like, you know, you can feel it. Increase it, increase it. I'm like, I'm going to, it's going to snap soon. So I need to, I need to stop. And you know, one of them ones where you think, okay, cool. You think you've got it. You like stretch it a bit, whatever. But as soon as you bend or like extend again, it seizes again. I'm going to have to give it five love.

- Gonna have to give it five butters. - That is butters. - Butters. - Were you older than her? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's even more butters. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm fucking an old man. - My age is showing. - Yeah, you haven't got the hamstrings for it. That's embarrassing. - Butters, yeah, yeah. - Oh God. - Fun fact, I've never had cramp.

- You've never had a cramp? - I've never had cramp and it sounds dreadful. - That doesn't sound cramp. - That sounds amazing. - No, I mean like what people explain cramp to me, it sounds awful. - It's the worst thing. - I've never had it. - It is awful. - It just like seizes. - You can see your muscle going like that. - It contracts. - Yeah, it just contracts. - Your muscle contracts harder than you could actually voluntarily do it. And it does that involuntarily. - It's agonizing. - Do you have to just wait it out? - You stretch it out. - You stretch it and just wait.

- It's grim bro. - It sounds horrible. - Yeah, I wouldn't wish it on my wife. - I'm dreading the day. - Cool man, right, so can I go first? - You can go first. - What did you do to ruin a romantic/sexy moment? How did this man sneeze and fart twice during one session?

Sometimes the force of the sneeze releases the steez. It causes all of the core muscles to evacuate anything that's in the body. It's peak. Twice. Yeah. Damn. Sneezing during sex is the worst thing possible. It's cardinal sin. Yeah. I cleared my throat one time and it killed the virus. I know what you mean. I cleared my throat. I know what you mean.

- Yeah, yeah, I'm like, yeah. - Are you good over there? - Yeah, are you all right? Yeah, it's horrible. It's horrible! - I cleared my throat one time. - Oh, God. - I was livid. - Buzz, what did you do to ruin a romantic/sexy moment during the deed I had an asthma attack? - That is Buzz. - Also not their fault. - It's not their fault, but-- - But it's like,

- Damn. - Yeah. Take a preemptive before we get into this. - Yeah. - I don't know, is that a brown one or what it's on? I don't know which color it is. Take a preemptive. - Saw it. - Yeah. - Saw it. - Would you to ruin a sexy moment? Said, this one made me laugh 'cause it's contextual. Said, that's my Michelle. Do you get that? - No, I don't. - Unk, do you get it? - Michelle, no. - Come on, man. - Unk from? - Shannon Sharp.

- Oh, I don't know who he's ad-libs. - It's not a Shannon Shah ad-libs. So do you might know the story that came out a couple of weeks? - Yeah, that he was- - He was on IG Live. - Oh yeah. - He was crying. - Yeah, yeah. - The thing he was smashing was called Michelle. - I see. - And then the whole thing was black, but you can hear him and you can hear her and you can hear him like, "That's my Michelle." - Okay. - So that's why everyone's talking about it.

Wasted! Sorry. Sorry. Yeah, sorry. Question of the week. Sorry. It landed in the thread and I brought it to attention and everyone's like, and now I look like the dunce. So nevermind. Soz. Do yours. What did you do to ruin a romantic slash sexy moment? I took the piss out of her moans during reverse cowgirl. She jumped off so quickly. Do you know how much pussy you have to get to take the piss out of someone's moans? Yeah.

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- Well, I'm brave. Yeah. I got up, embarrassed and said, I want to stop. - I wanna stop all of this. - I want to stop. Babe, man. I want to stick you. - I'm close. - Yeah, come on. Stop. Who cares? - A factual. - No one cares. - It's me and you in this whole room. - Yeah, facts, man. Let's lock in. She's like, nah, I don't wanna do this anymore. Oh, I will bite the duvet as hard as I can. - All right. What did you do to ruin a romantic moment?

When he started, when he was sucking my titty, I jokingly asked him if he was hungry. Imagine, you're locked in and she's like, are you hungry? Are you hungry? The way I would, I'd look up with a titty in my mouth. I would sit up, you know when you stretch it? Yeah. I would sit up with it still in my mouth and let it ping out. I'll let it ping out my mouth. Bounce back on her chest. Yeah, ruin the whole thing. Cause she's looking down at you like this. Yeah. Are you hungry? Are you hungry?

- Don't mock me, I don't ruin it, man. - Yeah, now I'm full. Now I'm full. - I'm literally stuffed, thanks to you. - I'm literally full. - Jesus. - Anyway, let me get my shorts back on. - Fuck sake. - This girl said, "Right, what did you do to ruin a sexy moment?" She said, "I don't know, guys.

The moment of pause and silence to fit a condom on while my feet are in the air and my coochie juice is drying is just not sexy. Dot, dot, dot. That's the most fact. Oh, go on, sorry. Dot, dot, dot. Just give me the STD. Disgusting and sexy at the same time. I said that. Disgusting and sexy. At the same damn time. At the same time. Revolting and sexy.

Insatiable. - Just give me the STD. - Fuck this condom, just bang me. - Her legs in the air, pussy's drying up. Why are you struggling with the dog? - Yeah. - Just give me the, ah. - Just give me the wood. I don't care. - She should have just said that. If she said that then and there, he would have nutted immediately. The quickest nut he could think of, that's what would have happened. - I'm scrambling for a joint and she said, bro, I don't care. Just give me the STD. - I will be harder than what I was before. - Yeah, and then I'll be thinking, Uno reverse, who's really giving who what?

Facts! Who's actually giving you what? That's the PNC talk. That's PNC talk. It's way too late. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me a pot to piss in, bro. I'm going straight to the docks. That's way too late. What did you do to ruin a sexy moment? We were clapping to Bump and Grind and an advert came on. Didn't pay for the Spotify. He didn't pay for the preams. Also, don't clap to Bump and Grind. We don't listen to that song anymore. Yeah, we just can't. Yeah, yeah. Unfortunately, we can't. Sorry, yeah. Yeah. Anyway.

- What'd you do to ruin a sexy moment? I bought up the time that he cheated. I can't stand to see him smiling. - Dump me then. - I can't stand to see him smiling. - There's hate in her heart. - Bro. - There's hate in her heart. - We're about to get down to it. Remember that time you fucked that bitch? - But shut up, bro. - Yeah, I can't stand to see him smiling. - Dump me then. Why we here? Why we here? Dump me. Fuck, man.

Oh, God. That's painful. Bro, it's horrible. I can't stand it. What did you do to ruin a sexy moment? I accidentally called her by the name of the person she was worried about. That's impossible. That's treacherous, brother. That's impossible. I accidentally called her by the name she was worried about. Oh, God. I was giving head too enthusiastically and it knocked out a tonsil stone at...

Do you know what smell that produces? - A tonsil stone. - A tonsil stone. - I don't even know what it is. - You don't know what it is? - The dangly dang. - By the name I kind of know, but. - You man don't get it, bro. You man ain't on the same TikTok algorithm I've been on. Tonsil stone is, it's butters, all right, cool. Let's get out of this sexy moment for a second. Tonsil stone is like built up food

that gets basically your tonsils is, oh, that's insane. - What the, what the actual hell is that? That's like a tooth. - Yeah, bro, that's the craziest thing I've ever seen. In your tonsils, there's like crevices actually in there where food can get stuck. And I see it on TikTok all the time. They'll get like a Q-tip and all they'll do is push the tonsil and like these little white balls will come out. And they smell like shit. - They just build up naturally over time.

Yeah, bro. So if you don't actively try to get these out, you do have them. No, I don't think it's categorical. I think it depends on the size of like the things. It's worth checking. But when I was a kid, I know they stink because when I was a kid, I coughed one of these niggas up and it smelled like shit.

- That's crazy. That's tonsillitis right there. That ain't no tonsillitis. That one on the far left is tonsillitis. - That's disgraceful. - Yeah. But yeah, they're nasty bro. - What did you do to ruin a romantic/sexy moment? I put on headphones so I can concentrate from all of these grunts. That's not a thing. - That isn't a thing. - That is not a thing. - That isn't a thing. Headphones. You're not wearing headphones while we have sex. - I will have to stop the activity. - Yeah, 100%. - It's not a thing. - Right, last one for me.

She said, treat her like a dirty slut. So I went to get a condom and she had the audacity to get mad at me. - I mean fair. - Yeah, fair. - Fair. - Treat me like a dirty slut, yeah? - Yeah. - Let me strap up. - Let me strap up. - Let me strap up, I don't know what's going on in there. - You're nasty. - You dirty. Look at you, you're filthy. Let me protect myself before I wreck myself.

nah she said are you taking a piss treat me like a I can't hear stuff like that yeah I can't hear stuff like that I refuse to hear stuff like that that turns me into super saiyan yeah treat me like a dirty slut fuck me alright last one from me what did you do to ruin a romantic slash sexy moment I said bazinga when I nutted

Can you imagine? Just bazinga. - I don't know why certain people are adamant on just ruining the fun for everyone. - You're not cute, you're not funny, you're not nice. Just keep it sexy. - That's them like 14 year relationships where you're just nutting for purpose. - Keep it sexy, bro. - Yeah, keep it sexy at all times, bro. That's bars. I'm not into that.

Anyway, guys. Anyway, guys, welcome back in. Thank you for joining us today. If you are watching on YouTube, please do us a favor. Actually do us a favor. Subscribe to the channel. Please do. If you are interested in your daddies right here and you think, oh, I love the content on a Monday. I'd like a little bit more Sivu play. Please head on over to patreon.com forward slash shits and gigs. Contribute a mere measly amount.

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What else did we do? - We have a whole heap of fun. - We went on a mini golf date one time. - We did. - What else did we do on there? - We did go-karting. - The whole team went go-karting so you can meet the rest of the S&G crew. What else have we done over there? - We've done some shit, man. - We've done some crazy shit over there. - We've done some crazy shit. - So yeah, head on over patreon.com/shitsandgigs and get involved with that.

Before we continue, Fu had said, "I've got something random to say on this episode. So please enlighten us." - So we don't usually, I say we don't usually, there are times where we do like take a moment, pause and just reflect, you know? And I feel like recently we should do that today purely because as you know, or if you don't know, now you will know, SNG are celebrating five years on the internet.

And that's a round of applause for the team. That's a fucking huge fee. - Five years. - Five years every Monday, we've never missed an episode. And that's thanks to you guys, down to you guys, down to how much you guys love and respect and rate us. And we just pour that back into you guys. So pause indeed. But nonetheless, I feel like it's a good reflection moment because

Going on for five years is crazy. Like, I don't know if we rewind five years ago today, did you think we would be growing at the rate we are? Five years ago today, obviously not. So like when we started, my ultimate goal, not even goal, but just like as far as my imagination would let us, like advance was literally just like,

We just do it for a living. Yeah. If we're super lucky, maybe we just do it as a part time job. If we're super lucky. There was no such thing as like podcasts that have like a million subs. Yeah. There was no such thing as like, apart from maybe like Joe Rogan or like the biggest, the biggest, biggest, biggest ones like that at that point. Yeah. I never thought we'd have like a big old studio with like loads of people on team and that,

- That is crazy. - That was way past anything I ever would have fathomed. Doing shows in different countries? - Yeah. - Are you mad? - Yeah, five years, man. - Are you insane? - This stuff has happened. - Yeah, five years ago, damn. Yeah, nah, it was a completely different life. - It was. - It was a completely different life. - It was. - So, as a reflection, I'm incredibly grateful. We've met some incredible people. We've done some incredible things. We've had some very,

some super, super highs, some super, super lows. We've grown as like human beings. I'm not the human being I was today five years ago. - Valid and factual. - That's actually on God. - Yeah, same. - Like I'm actually not the human being I was. - Same. - Like these five years, actually just take away like all of the material shit. Like from in my mind, what I wanna mainly reflect on this point is five years ago, like I was just like in, not like overly, but I was just like a normal,

Guy in his twenties, insecure about normal shit, like overthinking about normal shit, embarrassed about normal shit, wasn't really like very emotionally, I thought I was emotionally intelligent. I actually don't think I was. I was very binary in my thought processes. I didn't have much nuance. And through the only times I would be able to be myself entirely judgment-free

when I was with you guys. So being able to do that consistently and then have the input of the entire planet to help guide me on like an emotional development. And then five years later, I like to think I'm obviously still incredibly flawed human being, but just like way better. At a point that I never would have got to without this. So safe for that. - Gang, I've got a question for you.

- Let's say for, 'cause I remember you saying there was a stat, most people don't make it past like 80 episodes or something. Let's say we made it to like 60 and we both decided, all right, you know what? Let's just charge. It was fun, it was funny. We had our time, but let's charge. Today, what do you think you'll be doing? - Yeah. - Clinking glasses in Valhalla probably, well.

- Yeah. - Nah, I think I would be very, I was actually having this conversation with Lewis ironically the other day. I'll just be very sad. I'll be very sad, very like very, very depressed working a job that I really, really, really don't want to. - Yeah. - And probably still talking about the podcast me and my friend used to have.

i was never able to fully assimilate myself into a normal corporate job role so yeah i probably would just be doing something boring and mundane and just crying my life away yeah i think i would have been similarly unhappy but also i would have felt like you know i would have felt like i'd settled in life in a sense of

like prior to all of this you might know hospitality 10 years and i was thinking to myself oh i'm gonna have a restaurant do this and do that because this is all i knew post uni and i was thinking to myself even if alternate universe this all happened i would have still been working my ass to the bone to just try and fulfill a dream that wasn't a dream of mine 10 years ago this is just what i happened to fall into so i feel like i would have been pulling my hairs out i feel like i would have been

I would have had limited happiness and I feel like I wouldn't have had much time. That's one thing I wouldn't have had, time. Because the amount of time I spent working prior to all of this was, it was my life. I wasn't seeing my, my relationship with my family would still be very different. My relationship with you man would be very different. I probably won't be in London. - Yeah, I would have lost my patience with you.

I'm actually being serious. I think I would have lost my patience with you. I don't think I'd be in London still or now. I'll probably still be in Manchester because I'd have no reason to be in London because hospitality was growing for me in Manchester. So it's like alternate universe Fuhad. I feel like I would have been such a completely different person, but still convincing myself that this is my life and I would have been happy with it. Headline would have been marked.

Both of us. Yeah. Both of my hairlines would have been fucking. Peeled back. Peeled back. Because. Yeah, man. Life would be so different. Bro, life would have been life in. Yeah. And I would have had. This would have been black. Yeah. Here would have been black. And this would have been here. Yeah. And yeah, I'll be living for my link ups with you, man. Mmm.

Living for my link up with you man. - And it will never be paused. It will never be long enough. - Oh, a hundred percent. Nah bro. Bro. I would have been emotion. I would have been a wreck. I don't think I would have made it. I'm not gonna lie to you. I was in a really dark place as we were starting this. As we were starting this, I was in a very dark place. Just in terms of like career and like settling and just like understanding, am I ever gonna be able to live a life that I'm happy with? From the way I'm looking forward, bro. It ain't looking that way.

- So yeah, I would have been, you would have been talking me off the ledge multiple times a week to the point where you would have been like, just do it. - Yeah, facts, you're pissing me off now. - Yeah, 'cause this being here in this room aside, every studio we've had or you coming up to Manchester when we first started, that was always an escape. - Yeah, exactly. - And without that on a weekly basis, obviously at the beginning could have been monthly, bi-monthly, but since then on a weekly basis,

this escape has felt like everything to me. Do you know what I mean? Especially this aside, oh, not this aside, but outside of this, everyone has their personal lives. And there's so much shit in our personal lives that you want to either run away from, you're trying to avoid, or you don't want to face head on. And...

at least I had this to look forward to because one, I'm not thinking about the things outside of work or outside of the studio. I'm not thinking about what I'm gonna do after. I'm just solely focused on laughing with my people and trying to make other people laugh. And that one hour or two hours or whatever I spend here makes my week. So it's like without this mentally, you man already know I would have jumped.

Yeah, you might already know. Because I've had years on me sometimes. I've had moments on me. Oh, I know. Yeah. Yeah, you and I both. Yeah. Damn. Yeah. Thank you, guys. Thank you, guys. And thank you, guys. Thank you, guys. 100% five years, bro. Here's to five more. Here's to five more. And boy, yeah. What a five years it's been. Jeez Louise. Yeah, man. Right. So, moving on. As you might know, Cardi B's been on one for the last week. Yeah, we've offset. Yeah. Yeah. Just...

publicly beefing baby daddy offset. - So fine. - Literally let's not. Yeah, literally let's not. Three yous he's put on her? - Yeah, I don't blame him. - It would be six. It would have been six or seven by now. - Twins all the time. - Yeah, it's crazy. Now I said to you man on Reacts the other day, I didn't want to get into it. There's one tweet I saw that was like,

blew my mind. Now I don't even know if it's a real tweet. I don't think it's there anymore, but there's one tweet that was on there that had her name attached, which is gone. - I was gonna say for those that may not know a live another rug, give context of what's happening between Cardi and Offset. For those that may not know. - Bro to be fair, it's deep, I don't even remember, but I didn't, do you remember how it started?

Offset cheating. That's all I know. He's been cheating though, no? He's been cheating. He cheated the last time and then they broke up and they got back together. The tweet I saw, which was the reason I screenshot it, was because I wanted to know if there's a possible way for you to come back and there isn't. There just isn't. Okay. So let's say, let's take Cardi out of this and let's take Offset out of this. Let's say...

You're beefing with a ting and she tweet and publicly, I know you wouldn't, but let's just say you're beefing publicly. You've run a couple bars on her. She's run a couple bars on you. It's looking even Stevens and she drops this tweet. I'm not arguing with a nigga I put fingers in. - There is no comeback. - It's impossible. - There is no comeback. - It's so sharp, the whole thing's done. I'm not arguing with a nigga I put fingers in. - Plural. - Plural digits.

Nah, he got stinksed. - Do you know what fear would run through my blood when I see that? - Yeah, yeah. What was it? Did he clap back? - Obviously not. No one does. You can't do that because the next thing, if you clap back to that, the next thing you're gonna see on Twitter is a picture of your own asshole. - Yeah. - Spread up. Yeah, 'cause she's got receipts, big man. - I'm not arguing with a nigga I put my fingers in.

- Wow. - There's nothing to say. - That's game set match. - It's done bro. - Well played Cardi. - And I would have thought, I wish I never started this. I knew what she was on from jump. - From when I met her in the strippy. - Yeah bro. I knew what she was always on. She's always been on that all this stuff.

- So of course she's gonna tell the world that she stinks me up. - Oh, what tweet was you supposed to say? - Yeah, yeah, I forgot about that one. I forgot about that one. Yeah, she said, yeah, I saw that tweet. - I missed those nights. - Yeah, she tweeted saying her and Takeoff were clapping. - RIP to a real one, I missed those. Oh my God, my head will burst. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - My head will burst. - Yeah. - My head will burst, James. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - But fair play from, oh goodness me, she was good.

- She looks so good there. Fuck, I lost trail of thought. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. - Wow. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. The dread thing is that I know, yeah, I know for a fact she could say all them things and then offer you top and you're going back. You're going back. - I needed that last dance. - Bro, she's got three of your Utes.

I know what he, his last one was, I won because you're my baby mom or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm gonna come back to you. I won because you're my baby mom. Damn, man. I miss those nights with takeoff. You can't say stuff like that to me. Nah, that's too far. She crossed the line. Yeah, that's too far. That's too far. Obviously he crossed the line too, but like, fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Them ones are mad. God, she's fine. Yeah. Let's move on. Everything she wears is so banging. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's nuts. Right. So the next thing I want to talk about

- Was I learned some stuff the other day. So we went to go watch, Ren please stop. - Yeah. - Sorry. - You forget that we can see it. - I'm just scrolling myself. Oh my God. - She's so fine. - She's fine bro. - Sorry. All right, next.

So we went to go watch the girls bathroom live show the other day. - Shout out to the girls. Shout out to Chinsu Osawa and Sophia. - Yeah, they did well. - Yeah, man. - And I was making notes of things I was learning during that. 'Cause the whole thing's gyal. It's just gyal in there. So I was learning some stuff in there and I made note of two things and one thing I wish I never learned. - Okay. - One, they made a statement in this show

That I've heard before, but I've never heard such a resounding cheer and applaud for. Okay. The statement was...

don't let your boyfriend stop you from finding your husband. Now I've heard that before many a time, but watching an arena full of people click and clap was haunting. - It put a sour taste in my mouth. 'Cause I couldn't believe that's what females were on. - Don't let your boyfriend stop you from finding your husband. They stand on business with that statement. - Resounding chair, resounding chair.

Scary. - It is scary. - Scary. And then there's also nothing you could say because it's also, if you were to, if you were the boyfriend and you're trying to stand up on that and be like, who the fuck do you think you are? And you'd be like, is there a ring on my finger or not? Are you gonna man up and put a ring on my finger or not? 'Cause if not, you're just a little boyfriend. And I will wait for my husband. Thank you very much. If you're waiting to step up and make that yourself,

- You're ready to stand up like a man and make that you? - Yeah. - Cool, I'll shut up. - Yeah, do what you need to do. - No? Didn't think so. - Far-fought. - Yeah, didn't think so. Sat here waiting for my husband, thank you very much. Little boyfriend. Yeah, that's like headbutting concrete.

I was like headbutting concrete. - What's his name in Jersey Shore that wanted to fight? - Oh, the situation. - Yeah, the situation. - He stumbled to the hospital. - Right. The next thing I learned in this show is that an Irish accent will get you where you want to be in life. - Wow. - You man. - Explain the context, please. - They did some blind date thing, right?

where obviously man behind the sheet and they were just talking about themselves. There was one brother, guy number three, had an Irish accent. He cleaned up the whole crowd. As soon as he spoke. Everyone was like, it didn't matter what he had to say. One time he was like, oh no, I don't drive.

I've lost a plot here. I don't drive. And everyone's like, I don't give a fuck. Yeah. Number three. Number three. Bring him out. Bring him out. They're like, I don't like his clothes. Oh, sorry. I don't like my clothes. It's all right. I don't drive. I know how to drive, but I don't drive. She was like, it's number three, bro. Yeah. The accent. The accent, bro. Cleaned up. So I will be going on Babbel and learning Irish moving forward.

I'm going to go on Babel and take a course in Irish because I need that kind of attention and respect. He could do no wrong, you man. Literally, they were soaking. Yeah, bro. For his accent. It was stuff I've never seen before. No one gave a fuck about what he said. Facts. He was just talking. Facts. Damn. Yeah. Damn. Yeah. The last thing I learned, which has nothing to do with girls and is nothing to do with

- Well, it has one thing to do with something we've had a problem with for a while now. And this rugby mandem need to be stopped. - Oh, okay. The group chats and stuff. - Yeah. - Yep. Go on, go on, go on. - Rugby Donnies have gone too far with their antics. And today's the day we put a stop to it. - What did they do? - There was this brother, I know, yeah? - He's on the stage telling this. - He's on the stage and they were asking, "What's the name of your group chat?" He said the name of his group chat was called Soggy Biscuits.

And he explained, and before that he had mentioned that he likes to play rugby and they were like, oh, fuck your rugby guys. And we've said before, rugby guys are the nastiest bastards you've ever seen. And I know like girls like to have the impression, oh, they're fuckboys, they're players. I don't see them as that. I see them as sick, sick individuals. This brer went on to explain that the reason his group chat was called Soggy Biscuits was because it's his rugby initiation.

Ordered Donnie's, nutted on a biscuit. I'm done. And broski ate it. Listen, listen. You man. That doesn't make sense to me. How? Your upperclassmen will empty their balls onto a sweet snack. And so I'm allowed to play rugby with you, man. I have to eat it. I don't care enough about anything in life. Bro, no. To do that. Anything. That's...

I'd contemplate losing a friend over that. Like in terms of like, if they had you on the edge and they were like, eat this soggy biscuit. Yeah, bro, what? What are we talking about here? And they were like, every man in this room knocked on this biscuit. I'm like, what the fuck? What the fuck? Hang on, hang on, hang on. Every man. I couldn't have been... Okay. Okay, okay. If I was a rugby don and I was...

prone to doing initiations for the next man to join the squad. Specifically the soggy biscuits. I have to be the first man nutting on that biscuit. - Of course. - I can't see a drenched McVitie and me being the fifth Don. - Yeah, who's touching the McVitie? - Do you see what I'm actually saying? - Or is it all in like a petri dish and they just pass the petri dish round and they all just, oh yeah, oh, they just get a cup full of nut and then just pour it all over. I don't know how it works.

But all these men nutted on a biscuit and man ate it. And I'm sick to death of rugby players getting away with this kind of stuff. It's murder, man. And they think it's okay to tell the public. It's absolute murder. Bro, it's not funny. It needs to stop. It does need to stop. And it's crazy because there's probably...

so many people that we know that played rugby in the past, especially from uni days that have done fuckeries and we'll never know about it because they can't speak of it again. Do you know what I'm saying? - Oh, I don't want to know. Yeah. This is the stuff he's willing to tell. - Yeah. - This is the stuff he's willing to tell. - Imagine what they do in the locker room. - Yeah, I don't know what went on behind closed doors to really cement your position in this team.

Yeah man Yeah I'm over it I'm out I'm over it That's what I want to say Rugby We're cancelling rugby We're cancelling rugby man Yeah I think we're cancelling rugby Because it's just It's disgusting Ever since I was a kid I've been hearing about this Fucked up shit Disgusting Is there a figure you'd do that for? Yeah obviously Figure Yeah like amount of money Yeah You would do that for Yeah What would be your price?

- It'd have to be a fucking loads for me. I'm not, I'm talking like a hundred million. - Yeah, I'm thinking around a hundred mil. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'd have to be a lot. - I'm thinking about a hundred mil. - Quick digestive. - A hundred mil, which also means I'll do it for 70 mil. So probably 70 mil, maybe 65.

- 65 M's are big. - 'Cause it's same same. When you pass a certain number, same same. - It's same same. So let's call it a wholesome 65 M's. I'll gobble three of them. - Okay, that's too far. - It's not actually not. - It's not, but I think the adjective gobble is pissing me off. - It's pissing me off. - I would probably do it for 50 M's.

- 50 mil. - I do 50 mil. - Just one biscuit? - Just one biscuit. - And you would do three for, you do three biscuits? - If one's an option, I'm doing one. But if they said three soggy biscuits, 65 m's. Yeah, facts bro. 100%. - You do it for about 10, innit? - 10 mil a biscuit?

- 10 M, a biscuit. - 10 mill a biscuit. - So how many biscuits do you think you get through? - 10 mil. - You love a biscuit as well. - Yeah, you hold biscuits. - I got a crate of biscuits there. - Yeah. - Now how many were there? Did you say three? - He said three. - I said I'd do three, but there was one biscuit. - There was one biscuit. - Yeah. - But if you're offering up 10 M a biscuit and they're willing to comply. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - No, no, no, we're here, we're here, we're here. - I thought it was three. - No, no, no. - That's why I said three. - Okay. - So you'd still do 10 M for one biscuit though?

- No, it would have to be, it would be more for one. I thought it was the three biscuits. - Oh, okay. - I don't know why, I thought it was three biscuits. - 30 ms for one biscuit? - Yeah. - I think I could do it as long as there's no drip. If I open my mouth to like get it going and then it dropped in my mouth. I dropped the biscuit immediately, the vomit. - Vomit my intestines? - Yeah. - Oh.

Yeah bro I'd wanna pour gasoline Down my throat Yeah yeah yeah I happily would Fuck I'd drink Dettol

That's the single worst thing I can imagine. - Yeah, charge. - Charge rugby, charge soggy biscuits, charge initiation. - Charge initiation period. - Yeah, we're over it now, it's done. You got some tweets? - I got some tweets. Tweets of the week. So this chick has posted a selfie of herself on Twitter and the guy has responded, "Lord, take two years from my life and add it to hers." - Ooh. - Response from another guy. "Too far, man, what the fuck?"

Same guy responded. Previous guy responded, Lord, take two years from this man's life also and add it to hers. Just finished a 120 hour date. My insides feel like pulled pork. That's fucking disgusting. That's fucking disgusting. That's disgusting. Pulled pork. Bro, that's a slow braise.

that's hours hours hours my insides there's something i don't know this is i don't know how you can be a galling and have your insights because obviously my tool can be i've had some session on my tools my tools man like it hurts to talk yeah but it's not my inside yeah it's not my insides the bags man oh bro that's that's horrible it's horrible 120 hour day that's

- They fell in love immediately. - Yeah, I would love, I would love, sometimes I'm like, it depends on my mood, like sometimes I hear about like, oh, first date, we just like randomly

went here and then we flew here and we stayed in this place. And I don't even know this guy, but having a whirlwind, I'm like, damn, that sounds fucking sexy. - Yeah, that's an adventure. - Yeah, and then I hear like clips of people being like, oh, bro, after a while, we just didn't know what to talk about. 'Cause knowing me, I would get lost in it. I would get lost in it, but have an amazing first date, have a few drinks and I would like, fuck it.

Stansted is like, not a fuck. - Yeah, Stansted Road, yeah. - Yeah, Lake Carbo, what you saying? And she's like, bro, I'm fucking down. And I'm like, well, let's just buy clothes when we get there. And then we get there, we check in, bang in hotel, bro, we fucking, fucking, fuck, everything's amazing. I wake up the next day and thinking,

How long have I got with this girl? I don't even know her. - I think that thought will come to me when I'm on the plane. To Cargo. Because the whole facade is gone. I'm stuck on a plane for hours. - Yeah, once they're doing the safety briefing. - Yeah, I'm like, what am I doing? - Oh, what the fuck? - What am I doing? - Yeah, and you're seeing her in a different light. - Yeah, you're seeing her in a different light.

They're not flattering airplane lights. So you're like, oh, what am I actually doing? What am I done? Yeah. Shit. Reminds me of, do you remember in Friends when Monica dates that rich guy? The UFC guy? And on their first date, he goes like, oh, where are we going? And he goes, oh, I know a really good pizza place on the flight to Italy. Yes. I was like, what a fucking line, man. I know a good pizza place, Italy. What's his name from? He's been in loads of shit. Yeah, he's from Spider-Man. Yeah, he's...

- He's the director of "Bear Shit". He directs shit. What is his name? - Happy in the Marvel series. - Happy in the Marvel series. - What's his actual name? - John F... I don't know how to pronounce his second name. - John? - It's not John. - It's not John. It doesn't ring a bell. John doesn't ring a bell.

Type in Happy Marvel or whatever. - Jon Favreau. - Oh, Favreau. - It is Jon Favreau. - It is Jon Favreau. - My bad, my bad, my bad. - It's not Jon. - Yeah, it's Jon Favreau. - It's Jon Favreau, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and then he entered the UFC, innit? And got fucking smacked. - Yeah, yeah. - Damn, yeah. - Jon Favreau, Jesus. Throwback. - Throwback indeed. All right, back to the tweets. "Am I the only girl you are talking to?" Reply. "Yes, dear."

The others are asleep. Right, this is a text conversation. I think I'm pregnant. I told you not to nut in me. We should have used a condom. Reply. Shake my head. Let me tell you some real shit. Out of all the women I've dealt with, you are the most kind-hearted and smartest one. You have your shit together like no other. Now, normally I would pull out, but something heavy on my heart said not to. I see something in you that you probably don't see in yourself.

I know that you'll make it as a great single mother. And that's why I did what I did. You've got this. Praise to you and your family. Praise to you and your family. I was locked in thinking, this guy's found love and he's ready to be a dad from jump. I know you're going to be a great, I see something in you, you don't see in yourself. I know you're going to be a great single mother. What's sick fuck? Psychopath.

How do people get away with stuff like that? - I have no idea. - You might not understand how much I fear consequence. How much I've lived my life based on fearing consequence. Fearing it, truly, truly fearing it. And certain men operate like it doesn't exist. - Yeah, they've never seen it before. - Yeah, they've never seen it before. - They've never seen it before. - They do what they wanna do and they move how they wanna move. - It's crazy. - Fuck, man. - Crazy, right, another tweet.

I met a bitch so fine last night. We've been texting all day. I planned a date and all, and she tells me she's got three kids. God, stop fucking playing with me, bro. Stop playing with me, bro. Three is a commitment. Three is a... Obviously, all of it's a commitment. Yeah, but three? First, I'm wondering... This is actually probably interesting. Like... Is there someone you'd wife that has three kids? No, of course there is. Okay. But like in terms of like...

in terms of like when you introduce that information. 'Cause how, like- - Time in, when's the right time? - It's not about when's the right time, but it's about like, what's the balance between like, I feel lied to versus you wouldn't have chosen me on date one, knowing I've got three kids. But on date five, you may choose me.

because there's a bit of foundation now. - There's so much more to me than the information that I'm giving you over text. - Yeah, I think it's just the weight of that topic. It's too heavy to handle at one on the first date. - Yeah, 'cause I'm thinking if I was linking to Ting and I was seeing her for like, I was gonna say, "Mom's a long time for not telling me you got three kids." - That's a long time. - Yeah, that's a long time.

If I was seeing her a few times and I was like, damn, this girl's special. And then she was like, I need to tell you that I'm like, I'm a mom. Like I'm a single mom. Maybe don't say three straight away. Like I need to tell you I'm a mom. I'm like, oh, on day one when I've not even met this girl yet, I might be like, oh, you can be bothered. But if I'm a mom, I'm like, oh, how many kids you got in the three? I might swallow spit. But like, depending on my situation, it depends on how much that like,

if I was to take on that role, is it gonna burden me? Probably not. And it may be something that I would have dismissed you. - From the jump it was. - Based on that information on the jump. Just like if a guy says I'm five seven, it's just like, fuck this. But if we worked together and you'd seen me five six, five five,

- Five, four. - That's okay. - My bad. - Five, four. - Don't worry, it's cool. - Five, four. My actual fucking bad, by the way. - That was really sly. - No, it wasn't even sly. - It was really sly. - I wasn't, bro, until you were staring at me, there was no shade on you whatsoever. - I literally didn't do. Neither did I. I didn't. - It was no shade. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Also, everyone thinks you're six three, by the way.

I had that verbal confirmed. - That's crazy. It's crazy. - So bro. - Hey, short kings win. It's cool. - You're giving 6-3 energy. Your aura is 6-3 bro. So fuck this 5-7 chat. Anyway. - 5-5. - 5-4. - Yeah. - If I worked with you, you might.

You might not even care. - Yeah. - But if I tell you over Hinge, I'm 5'4", you'll be like, "Suck your mum." - Yeah. - You're wasting my time. - Yeah, I'm taller than you. - Yeah, I'm bigger than you, bro. It's like, you didn't care when we was in the canteen, kick-a-kaying. - Yeah, valid. - But now you wanna kick up a fuss 'cause you don't know me yet. And I think that kind of does work with like the kids thing and like certain other bits of information. - I hear that completely. I hear that completely. Good analogy. Right, I've got a few more tweets. Right. "I'm a sucker for deep conversations.

I want to know why your daughter lives with your grandma and not you. Yeah. I want to know why your daughter lives with your grandma and not you. Fuck. Fuck. That's harsh. Yeah, not even your mom. Yeah. Your grandma. That's harsh. Jesus Christ. All right. That nigga ghost was so in love with Angie, he used to hand deliver her piping hot coffee with no gloves in the middle of a freezing New York City weather.

Not much power, but fair. There was a time, there's a scene in Power where he's shouting at his wife. I can't remember his wife's actual name. Oh, they were arguing rather. And I think she must've said to Ghost, why are you so angry? Or why are you shouting at me? Ghost shouted back at his wife. I've just lost the love of my life. I've just lost the love of my life. There's no- Tasha. There's no actual way. What do you want from me? I just lost the love of my life.

- Angie's the love of his life? - Yeah, Angie's the love of his life. - This Angela thing? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Who's his wife? - The one next to her, Tasha. - I've just lost the love of my life to his wife. - Yeah. - Yeah. - That's what I mean about consequence. I'll be expecting a knife in my ribs any second. - There's no thought about it. - If you imagine beefing your actual wife and you're like, what the fuck is your problem? And she's like, I've just lost the love of my life.

Yeah, I'd freeze. I'd freeze, bro. Because what's real and what's not? Yeah, I'd shrink. I've just lost the love of my life. That's a bar. Bro. That's Spencer's famous bar again. How can I respect you when you allow me to cheat on you? Yeah. Yeah, that's real life. That's real life. There's no harder way to experience real life than that sentence right there. How do you expect me to respect you when you allow me to cheat on you? I'll study that one day.

they will they will be the psychology yes they will yeah wow he's going to be referenced i don't know how it's still not being referenced on a daily basis the craziest part i've ever heard yeah these times they're doing that that was made in chelsea when it was real yeah spencer was a demon it was raw yeah it was a demon he was wow man all right i've got one more tweet um

Back to work tomorrow. This thing of not being from generational wealth is inconvenience in my life. Not being from generational wealth. That's facts.

That's facts. - Inconvenience in my life so much. - Back to work tomorrow. - You had a weekend. - Oh my God. Bro, listen to me. I'm so, so gassed that I didn't have to grow up around them generational wealth motherfuckers, bro. I'm so gassed because I remember, who was it? It was fucking, do you remember when we went to Edinburgh? - Yeah. - We went to Edinburgh the first ever time we went there.

- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. - Fringe, no? - Yeah, Fringe. And we met Henry Rowley. And at the time I'm pretty sure he was living in a flat with his boy. - I believe so. - And his boy's dad was just caked. - Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. - And broski didn't have a job or nothing. He was just vibe, he just lived in a sick apartment and was just vibing bro. 'Cause his dad's caked and hearing was working bro. And I'm like, I'm not dealing with this. - Bro, I remember there was a time I was still working at Grill on the Market.

There was two servers or runners. One was called Toby and one was called, I can't remember the other one's name, but we used to hang out after work sometimes. All of us used to go out wherever. Then we went back to theirs. - Yeah, that's all the time. - Yeah, in fact, we went back to theirs for after afters and it was a buff apartment in Chelsea. You say, "Oh, this is my uncle's yard. "We stay here most of the time." And I'm thinking, I'm walking around this joint like,

and i have to go back to dirty dags that's all i kept thinking oh man that's all i kept thinking bro like and this is your like you're 16 17 this is your life livid yeah bro i remember my boy um i wouldn't call it generational wealth but i remember my boy jason when i was like 18.

he just had money all the time, man. He just had money all the time. And I went, we were at a basketball tournament one time in Nottingham and he was like, "Shall we?" He said, "My nan's having a barbecue in South London, shall we go?" I was thinking that petrol is insane. - Yeah, yeah. - And I was driving. - Yeah, yeah. - I was like, "That petrol is insane." - Yeah, yeah. - He was like, "I'll give you some petrol money." I was like, "All right, bet." And he gave us the petrol money, we drove down there.

And as soon as we walked in the door, his nan gave him an envelope. It's a thousand pounds in cash just for turning up. At that time, I'd not seen a thousand pounds. Period. Ever. And I was like, this is not fair. I'm surprised you drove from Nottingham to South London, my bro. I had nothing else to do.

I really, really had nothing else to do. And also on top of that, I needed to be out of, I didn't have a job and this was like a summer holiday and I needed to be out of the house as much as possible without my mom being like, "You're just a bum, you're a fucking bum. "Get a fucking job." And I remember seeing it, I was just like, "Our lives are not the same." But do you mean you got a grant just for showing up? - To a family member's yard? - To a family member's yard. And then we drove home that same night, went to bed.

Woke up the next day, I got a text saying, do you want to go shopping? And I was like, yeah. He just wanted me to drive him to Footlocker. That was us going shopping. And he just spent the money and then got back in the car with bags and then went home again.

Yeah, it was rough witnessing that. Yeah, you don't know when you're being used until months later. You don't know. You just really don't know because when you're in this bubble of an experience, you're experiencing it. Yeah, I thought we were experiencing it until I realised I haven't tried on any... A crepe? A crepe? A sock? Yeah. Nothing. You were the chauffeur for the weekend. I'm pretty sure that at one time, the only thing I could afford in Foot Locker was crepe protect.

i swear to god i wouldn't feel like her and it was because i was so embarrassed of continuously going in there not buying stuff yeah i came up with a bottle of crepe protect damn and some green laces i think damn yeah the the game is well and truly the game yeah the game is well and truly the game you have to suffer to survive factual um anyway guys we're going to charge it there thank you very much for today we appreciate you as always love of love

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