WHAT COUNTS AS A BODY BUT ISN'T A BODY?! | EP 385 | ShxtsNGigs Podcast
01:22:02 Share

My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friend's still laughing me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn.com slash results.

LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. This episode is brought to you by Hulu. Hulu Anime Ahem is your animation destination to watch full seasons and new episodes of your favorite animated shows. Get ready to be bowled over, have your socks knocked off,

and get thrown for a loop, all in one convenient streaming location. Stream stone-cold animated favourites like Family Guy, Futurama and Bob's Burgers. And you can also catch Solar Opposites, Hitmonkey, American Dad and tons more. Plus, watch some of the freshest animated series around like The Great North, Grimsburg,

crapopolis and so many more that's right guys if you're looking for your favorite animated shows there's only one destination you need to remember hulu anime mayhem your animation destination now streaming on hulu you know what enticed to do tomorrow are you doing are you silly come back

- Guys. - Girls. - This is it. - This is the announcement you've been waiting for. - Let's go. - Come on. - Let's go. - Let's go. - It's happening. - It actually finally is happening guys. Drum roll please.

- Your daddies are going to America! - We're coming to America guys. - North America. - Yeah, North America. - Let's clarify, North America. - Yeah, Brazilians, chill. - Brazil, not yet. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guys, we are coming to the US of A. - We finally are. - Finally, your question is.

Questions have been answered. Your prayers have been answered. Daddies are coming home. Okay. So listen close. Listen well. The daddy's home tour. God, the daddy's home tour is coming to North America. Okay. 15 dates for you, man. 15 dates this summer. One five.

Starting off in Dallas, Texas on the 11th of July. That's where we're cooking. Then we head over to Houston. Then Charlotte. Then Phoenix. Then LA. Then Seattle. Then Orlando. Then Fort Lauderdale. Then Atlanta. Then Chicago. Then Toronto. Detroit. Washington. Philadelphia. And then we're going to finish off August 10th in New York. New York City, baby. So tickets go on sale this Friday, guys. This Friday, the 26th of April, 10 a.m. local times. But of course, Patreon.com.

You already know you're gonna get it early. Come on. So you guys are gonna get it on Wednesday the 24th. Yes sir and if you guys subscribe to the SMG mailing list at shitsandgigs.co.uk you can get access on Thursday. Right guys so

I know it's a lot to digest. It's a lot to process. So what you need to do is go to shitsandgigs.co.uk/live. All the information is on there. All the dates are on there. We'll leave a link in the description. The poster is on the screen as you can see. We're insanely excited. So make sure, just do us one fucking favor if you can. Just buy the tickets. - Just buy the tickets. - You guys have been asking us for multiple years to come. - Come to America.

- Come to America, come to America, do a show in America, do a show. We're doing 15 shows in America. - We are. - So for the love of God, show up, buy the tickets. - Buy the tickets guys. - 'Cause your daddies are coming home. - Gang. - Right guys, you already know what time it is. - Yeah. - Go straight to it. Question of the week, best part of your day. And the question of the week this week is, what isn't a body, but is a body? - Let's clarify because,

- You already know. - Give your finger up my face. - You already know what I'm gonna say, don't you? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what you're gonna say. I know what you're gonna say. And I'm angry at you. - Why? - Who came up with the question? - Jacob actually came up with the question. - Really? - Yeah. - I'm angry at Jacob then. - It's not a riddle, guys. It wasn't a riddle. Bag of Mal was writing water. - Water! - Bag of Mal was writing nobody. - Water was the number one response. - It's not a riddle. - It wasn't a riddle. It was a genuine question. What is a body but isn't a body? When have I ever written a riddle in the dance?

- Focus guys. - Bro, so what that means when we ask what's a body but not a body? If you're about it, you'll know we're talking cheeks. We're talking pipe. What's a body? If we're talking body count, people might say, "What's your body count? How many people have you clapped? How many people have you finessed?"

That's a body. So what things are out there that don't technically count as a body, but they're a body. They're a body. Cool. Yeah. You want to go? You can go. Knowing their fast food order by heart. Fast food order. Yeah, it's love. When I know to tick no cheese. Yeah. I'm livid. Because you're my girlfriend. Because you know her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know her. I know her. And I wouldn't dare test that temper. Yeah.

Even if I want to be nonchalant and tell her, how am I supposed to know you don't like cheese? That temper. I don't want to sense that temper. Yeah, those jokes. Right. What isn't a body but is a body? Giggling at another woman's joke. Yeah. Okay. Right. What's a body but isn't a body? I haven't heard this word since they released it. Using the Memoji to send voice notes like the skank I am.

- Skank. - Skank is insane. - Say that all again. - Using the Memoji to send voice notes. Do you know what the Memoji is? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - When you got the unicorn, they go, "Mam, mam, mam, mam, mam." - Like the skank, I am. - No one's ever, I think my dad sent me that the day after they dropped the feature. - I've never received or sent that. - That's the first and last time I received it. - Wow. - All right. - That little monkey thing on there? - Yeah. - Yeah, pathetic. - Eye contact lasted over four seconds.

Yeah, that's a body. That's a body. That's a body. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's a body but isn't a body? I promise you I didn't write this. When you look at Foo Hat and bite your lip. Hey, yo. Say less. Say less. You took that in your stride. I like that. Yeah, that didn't stifle you at all. Cool, calm and collected. What is a body but isn't a body? Whispering in the air in public. That's crazy. That's crazy, crazy. Yeah, just...

Making eye contact with a guy as you walk past him and then you both simultaneously look back. There isn't a greater feat...

There isn't a greater feat than eye contact on the street and then you both look back. That happened to me once and that was the day I moved to Wachita. I remember I said it on this pod. I never moved to girls. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was walking past, I saw the back from the front. So when we crossed paths, I had to look back. And she happened to look back at the same time. - And then you bopped over? - I bopped over. I didn't even know what I was gonna say. - Yeah, I would've been too scared. - I didn't even know what I was gonna say. I was like, I have to. - I would've been too scared. - I have to. - I would've been too scared. - Yeah, but, and yeah, it worked. It worked. What is a body, but isn't a body? When she gets lifted up by her male friend when they're saying hello.

It's the most disrespectful thing. That's a body, bro. Yeah, of course it's a body. It's a body. He's had that body. He's held that body. He's held that body, given it back and then took it again. Yeah. Yeah. Piece of shit, bro. Oh, God. Taking her to meet your friend at his house and her Wi-Fi automatically connects. There's explanations. There needs to be explanations. That's impossible. Do you know what would be even worse? What? If...

As opposed to All My Click Connects. All My Click Connects is a fucking piss sack. Yeah. But it's, it would send, my stress levels would go Excelsior. I can't,

I wouldn't be able to comprehend how bad that is. So I'll probably stay quite tempted. I'll be lukewarm because I can't even think about- - Yeah, you don't wanna deal with that. - Yeah, what that means. Because you didn't just come here to fuck. - Excelsior. - You're hanging around. What I wouldn't be able to tackle is if she asked for the wifi and then his name popped up as such and such is sharing the wifi with you because his name is in your contacts.

- Yes. - That auto-send password thing. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Ooh. - Yeah, that would, my strain would hit 20. - Yeah, 50. - It will break it. Wow, it will break the whole thing. It'll pop off your wrist. - Yeah, yeah, my wrist would fizzle. - All right, what is a body but isn't a body? I once saw a man lean forward to sniff a girl's hair. So you tell me. So you tell me.

Wow. I used to, I don't want to sound like a creep. I used to have a thing with nice smelling hair. Oh.

- Yeah, I don't think there's a guy that doesn't. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. But it would be like, it got to a point where it was the first thing I was noticing. And I'm not even talking about like, "Hulk, oh, wow, your hair smells nice." I would see a ting that I found attractive and think, "God, your hair looks like it smells nice." - Mm, I know what you mean. - Yeah. - That fresh curly jawn. - The curls? - Yeah. - The wet look curls? - Yeah. - I know that bitch smells insane. - Yeah, yeah, it does. It does. - Oh, God. - Yeah, yeah. - Sickness and health. All right.

I'm saying stuff today that doesn't even make sense. All right. Next one. What's a body? Ooh, what's a body but isn't a body? Having a shared Netflix account. Okay. If you've got my password, it's a body. I don't care. I mean, does she have the password or do you just put the password in so she can watch it? It doesn't sound the same, but it doesn't sound different, but it's different. Putting the password in on her thing so she could watch it. Yeah. And I leave and don't log out. Yeah. And then next time I go on my Netflix, it says continue watching and it's,

like selling sunsets or something? Body. If you continued the next day on my account and didn't log yourself out, body, you're my girlfriend. - All right, say less. Say less. - You're not watching shit on my shit. - Yeah, fair. All right, say less. All right, what is a body but isn't a body?

If she asked him what color should she do her nails? - That's my favorite question. That's my favorite question. 'Cause I'll sit there and we'll deliberate. Send me pics. - Yeah, send me tones. - Send me facts. - Yeah, send me the tones. - Send me tones so I know what's right for you. Yeah, I'm all about them things. That's me. That's my favorite thing. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's my fucking favorite thing. - And when she said, "You got boyfriend?" You tell her yes. - Yeah, he chose the color. - Yeah, he chose the color.

Okay, cool. Last one. What's up, buddy, but isn't a buddy? Messaging him after his team loses.

Follow up. What is a buddy but isn't a buddy? Educating a woman about your football team. - Ooh, yeah, you're taking time. - Yeah. - I'm investing time in you. - Yeah, and she's learning stuff. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - She's learning stuff. - You're repeating back what I've said. - Yeah. - And you're asking inquisitive questions. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You're not asking boring questions. You're taking what I said, you're learning, and you say, "But does that mean offside is this?" - Yeah, yeah, yeah, come here! Come here!

- You want some. - Stop talking. Stop talking, stop kissing. - You want some. - Yeah, I've got it. - All right. - That's me. I've got a couple more. What is a body but isn't a body? Eating off another man's plate. Licking your lips whilst talking to another woman. - Oh dear. - Swaying from side to side when you hug. - Side to side is? - That's joy. - Yeah, it's joy. - That's when you, that's when you, yeah, there's no other word but joy. - I've missed you more than words can describe. - Facts. - Yeah. - And that's what that means.

Just, yeah. Yeah, man. Wow, that was wholesome. That was awesome. I thought it was just going to be skanky, but it was actually really wholesome. No, that was a good thread. Yeah, it was nice. It was a good thread. I like that one. Right, guys. Welcome back. Welcome back, indeed. It is another joyous Monday. Fun day. You are here with us in the studio, and it's great. It is. Can't complain.

Can't complain. I can't complain either. Guys, if you enjoy the show, even a little bit, and you think it's actually, if we're doing up House of Dragons style stuff, if we're doing up Shogun, God, God, Shogun, wait a week for that is ridiculous. If we're doing up flipping solo leveling week on week, and you think what I would give and what I would pay-

Get these man to drop another episode a week so I don't have to wait all week. It's sorted. It is. We're 10 steps ahead of you. We are. All you need to do is go to patreon.com forward slash shits and gigs. And please donate humbly. £3 a month. 10p a day. Run the P. S&G. And you'll have four years of episodes to binge on there and an extra episode every Thursday. And even if at that point you were like...

Damn, this is good. - It's not enough. - But I wonder what Fiat looks like standing up. I wonder what Fiat looks like doing cartwheels and stuff. I wonder what it looks like really getting down to the nitty gritty. - The nitty gritty. - Yeah, yeah. Again, we've got you patterned. - We have. - Patreon.com/ShitsandGigs. - Yes, sir. - And that is tier two. And that gives you access to the most successful subscription-only show I'm pretty sure on the planet.

That's what survey says. Yeah, we got the numbers back from the Pentagon like on Wednesday and they said, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. As far as paywall subscription services go, there hasn't been a more successful show than The Lockup. You might have gone clear and it's scary. Yeah, scary. Like they said, do you guys have any intention on toppling governments? Because you've got, like you've got the audience. You've got the audience, you've got the power. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got the influence. So we just want to make sure you don't want to topple governments. And we were like, it's not immediately on our list. And they were like, we'll take it.

- Cool. - Love the show guys. We'll take it, love the show guys. So guys get involved with the Log Cabin. If you wanna see us jump out of airplanes, on the Log Cabin. If you wanna see us do sensual art pieces of artwork, on the Log Cabin. If you wanna see us do hyper competitive games, it's on the Log Cabin.

And if you want to feel like more of the community and meet other people in your community and have us meet you, log cabin. So head on over there, get involved today. Without any further ado, I am getting nervous even thinking about it. We're smiling, but you will figure out why. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it is that time. Yeah. It's time for Back to School with a Twist.

- With a simple twist. Now, if you follow this show, you will know that typically the format goes as, Fuhad is the quiz master. He takes us through back to school, which is questions that are aimed between the age group of 11 and 14. - Yes, sir. - And it is up to us to see who listened in school. - Yes, sir. - And retain said information. - Yes, sir. - Typically, it's yours truly.

And sometimes Fuhad gets big for his boots and says, "It's actually fucking easy. I actually knew the answer to that. Come on guys, how could you not get that?" Sometimes he can be actually a little bit rude. - It's so degrading. - And demeaning and degrading in the way, and patronizing in the way that he explains why we got things wrong and how we got things wrong. So we all decided, "Oh, maybe Fuhad should have a go." Fuhad did have a go. And frustratingly enough, he won as well.

So now your two titans of industry are going head to head. And today we will find out who's the smartest in the room. We will. Foo, Had or I. Now we have to make agreements. Okay. About slanderous, grotesque gloating. I don't want any part of it. You post results? Post results. I never gloat. But that's a form of your gloating though.

Your silence is a form of your gloating. I don't know what you want from me. I don't know. I'm just delaying. Delaying the inevitable? I don't like when you just go like... And then you're just like, bro, next thing, next segment. And then you'll tell me to introduce the next segment and now I'll be angry again.

- Let's just see what happens. Let's just see what happens. So Rem is gonna give us the questions and yeah, we're gonna go 10 questions. Is that correct? Key stage three and we're gonna see who the head honcho is in the S&G classroom. - Yep. - Let's do this. - Back to school, question one. - Oh shit. - It's right in, innit? - Yeah. - Fuck. - Yeah, go on. - What is a synonym of the word frugal? - Long.

Multiple choice Yeah yeah yeah There's no other choice A Ridiculous B Economical C Enthusiastic D Routine Repeat the question please What is a synonym of the word frugal? A Ridiculous B Economical C Enthusiastic D Routine Cool Cool Locked Locked Locked Question two

What color are the benches in the House of Commons? - No multi. - No multi. - I've got two colors in my head. - I've got two colors in my head. - What colors have you got? - Don't fall for that. - What color are the benches in a House of Commons? - They're not asking you this. - Yeah, they're not asking children that. - Don't ask. - I'm not mad at you. - I'm not mad at you. - I've got no one else to talk to. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Talk to each other in it, 'cause. - All right, I've written something, is what it is, isn't it? It should be a question that everyone knows.

Especially if you pay tax in this country, you should know what's going on in that room. All right, next. Locked? Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Question three. A bat and a ball cost one pound and 10p. The bat costs one pound more than the ball. How much does the ball cost? Locked. Say the question again. A bat and a ball cost one pound and 10p. The bat costs one pound more than the ball. How much does the ball cost?

I'm overthinking it guys. I'm stressing out. Hang on. I'm overthinking it. You are. You really are. How many boroughs are there in London? Is it A, 32, B, 49, C, 50? I was thinking like seven. I was thinking eight. I'm not going to lie, bro. One more time for me. How many boroughs are there in London? Is it A, 32, B, 49, C, 50? Locked.

Locked. Cool. Diamonds are made from which element? Silicon, carbon or hydrogen? Locked. Oh, sorry. Locked. Cool. Question six. How many vowels in the word mischievous? I don't think I've got that one right. Okay. Locked? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Question seven. Which was built first? The Empire State Building or the Eiffel Tower? Locked. Locked. Question number eight. In a lake...

There's a patch of lily pads. Every day the patch doubles in size. If it takes 48 days for the patch to cover the entire lake, how long would it take for the patch to cover half of the lake? Read that whole thing again twice. Yeah, and slow the fuck down. Yeah, okay, yeah. In a lake, there's a patch of lily pads. Every day the patch doubles in size.

If it takes 48 days for the patch to cover the entire lake, how long would it take for the patch to cover half of the lake? This is not Key Stage 3. No, I promise you that's not. I'm sure we've all... That's A-level maths. Right. That's what they call it, further maths. That's that ting. Yeah, advanced ting. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. I think I know what's happening for us, right? I feel like I know what's happening. He wrote 24. 24.

And then just realise this is... Wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a whole different ballgame. Yeah, different thing. Okay, I've got it. All right, I think I've got it. Cool, got it, locked. Yeah. Question nine. Which river flows through the Brazilian rainforest? Oh my God, wait. What's the river called? That's the question. I know. Locked? Yeah. Cool. Final question. What tree do acorns come from?

This is the hardest 10 questions I've ever heard. What tree? What tree do acorns come from? Locked. What a vile 10 questions they were. Yeah. God forgive me for the answer for number 10. God forgive me.

- All right, ready? - Are we swapping? - Yeah. - Oh man, swap boards as we always do. You know how we do. - I'm too embarrassed. I don't really want that. I'm too embarrassed. Swap. I'm shy. - Swap. - God. - You're gonna see some of my ass as a glove. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Right. Let's do this. Just for the- - The thing is on Vex, I think that last one might even be right. And I'm gonna be livin' if it's right. - Yeah, exactly. - I'm gonna be livin' if it's right. - I'm thinking this, sir. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, we got a lot of similar answers. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We do. - Fair, fair. - Yeah. - Like I said before, I read through the questions and

I think I said before I would have got about four. - Yeah. - Now I'm going back, I think I dropped that down to about three. - Really? - For me personally. - Okay. - I would have got about three in this. - All right. Okay. We have got a lot of similar answers. - We have a lot of similar answers. - Cool. - A lot. - All right. Question one. What is a synonym of the word frugal? You had either ridiculous, economical, enthusiastic, or routine. The answer is economical. - Which is?

The second one? B. A, B, C, or D? Sorry, B. Economical. Question two. What colour are the benches in the House of Commons? The answer is green. Well played. Question three. A bat and a ball cost £1 and 10p. The bat costs £1 more than the ball. How much does the ball cost? What did you write for that? 10p. It's not. Incorrect. What? Huh? Huh?

If it's 10p, then the total amount would be £1.20. The total amount of both of them is £1.10. Yeah, and you said the bat is £1 more? £1 more. What?

- If you're thinking of it being exactly one pound more, then you're going to write 10 pence. - Yeah. - But mathematically it can't be that, can it? - Fair play. - It can't be 10 pence mathematically because if it is 10p and the total cost- - I knew you wrote it down too quick. I knew I was stressed for a reason and that's why I got it wrong. - The total cost can't be one pound 10.

If you're saying that the ball is 10p. Okay. All right. Question four. How many boroughs are there in London? You had A, 32, B, 49, or C, 50. The answer is A, 32. Well played. Question five. Diamonds are made from which element? A, silicon, B, carbon, C, hydrogen. The answer is B, carbon. Question six. How many vowels in the word mischievous?

Tell us how you spell mischievous. - Wrong. Tell me how many vowels. - How did you spell mischievous? - I spelled it M-I-S-C-H-I-E-V-E-O-S. - O-U-S. - I-E-V-E-O-U-S, yes, sorry. So I put six vowels. - Correct. The answer is five vowels. - Oh, damn. - I put five vowels, just saying. - But you're not willing to share with us how you spell mischievous? - No, I'm not. I got the answer right. Let's assume I spell it right. Let's move on.

Question seven. Which was built first, Empire State Building or the Eiffel Tower? The answer is the Eiffel Tower. Question eight. In a lake, there's a patch of lily... Hold on. Question eight. I got it in the last second. Oh, okay. I got it in the last second. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. Continue. In a lake, there's a patch of lily pads. Every day, the patch doubles in size.

- If it takes 48 days for the patch to cover the entire lake, how long would it take for the patch to cover half of the lake? - 47. - 47. - Correct. - Yeah, we got it right! I was stressed out in my mind. - Yeah, I wrote 24 hours a day. - And then it landed. - Yeah. - It fucking landed. Yeah, bro. - GGs, ggs, nice. - Nice. - Nice. - We're so smart. - I was not getting that. Question nine. Which river flows through the Brazilian rainforest?

- What did you write? - I wrote Amazonica, but I think it's Amazon. - What did you write? - Amazon. - It is the Amazon. - Gang. - That was close. - 'Cause I thought the Amazon was just the forest. That's why I was stressed. - Fair, fair. - I wrote Amazonica. - I saw Amazonica, I was like, oh, you got it right. - Yeah. - Unlike you, G. - Amazonica, that sounds like VN, but it's not quite Vienna. Sorry. - He's throwing shade at you. - Yeah, he is. - At your lowest moment. - He is. I'll take it. - I can't condone stuff like that. - I'll take it, it's fine. - Fair. - Soz. - Question 10.

- How's got to be an egg? - You get it now, it's the power. - This is crazy. - You get it. - Fuck. - Soz with three Zs. - Question 10. What tree do acorns come from? What did we write? - Just say the answer. - Yeah, please. - What did we write? - Just say the answer. - I wrote oak and. - I thought it was a little twist. I wrote acorn trees. - What should be an acorn tree? - There's no such thing there, everyone's laughing. - It's an oak tree, bro. - Is it actually? - Yeah.

So you want to add up the scores? - James got nine out of 10. - Nine? - Yeah, he got the maths question wrong. He put 10p instead of 5p. - Well, you definitely guessed four. - Pardon? - Question four. - Yeah, we both guessed four. - Oh, everyone guessed four. - The borrow team. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I guessed four and I guessed the Eiffel Tower one. - Yeah. - Yeah. - GG. - Oh, and obviously you guessed. - Nine. - I obviously guessed. - So I got five out of 10. - I got five out of 10. - GG's. - Which ones did I get wrong?

- I got the first one wrong. - First one wrong, which was, what was the question? - B was economical. - Oh yeah, frugal. - Signing in for frugal, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, you wrote D. Obviously you got the 10 P wrong together. You wrote six vowels. - Vowels, not five, yeah. - Amazonica. - Living about Amazonica. - A country. - Living about Amazonica. - Wouldn't have made any difference, but yeah. - Wow, wow, wow. - GGs. - GGs. - GGs indeed. - GGs indeed. - I mean, I can be Quizmaster from now on if needed.

- It's not needed, but if you wish to be then- - If you like to be Quizmaster, you can. - You haven't been yet. - Oh yeah, he's been once. - I've been once. Yeah, I did it. - Yeah, when we played us three players. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Obviously. - I'm just trying to be fair. - GG's. - Nice. - Those were questions, man. - They were serious questions. - Well played, Anna. - Anna, yeah, well played. Serious fucking questions. Okay guys, it is time, the magical time of the week where we get a little update from our 12 week S&G Whoop Challenge. - Yes, sir. - What is a whoop?

You don't know, but you're here to be humbled and educated. You may look at my wrist and think, is that the new Richard Mill? Is this the Patek Philippe? Is that the Jacobs and Co. one of one? Is that the Art of Moppy Gate? Is that the Rolly Green Face? No. No, but it's very similar and it benefits you more. This is a whoop.

So Awoop is a wearable fitness coach and we've been using it for the last God knows how long now. God knows how long. To monitor our strain every day, our sleep every day and our recovery every day. And we opened up a challenge to everyone in the S&G community. There's a few thousand joins in there right now competing on a day-to-day basis to see who can be the best version of themselves. And then after the challenge, we're going to see snatch, snatch, snatch. Facts, facts, facts.

And it's as simple as that. It is. So guys, this week, we've had a mix up in the tables. We have. People listened and they said, I'm tired of hearing the same names every week. Week in, week out. So let's go for it. This week, I'll talk about myself. Okay. I did what I could with the time that I had. Yeah. That's...

That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Don't judge me. Don't look at me. I did what I did with the time that I had. Okay. And I did go hard in the pain in the gym. Okay. I went really, really hard and daddy was sore. Yeah. Yeah. And it was worth it. Good. And I was happy. Good. So granted, yes, my average strain is 7.8 for the week. So sue me, you know, daddy was also very recovered this week, which made it harder for me to get my strain out. Fair. And,

I'm ranked 1,887th this week. I'm not proud, but hey, we do what we do. - It happens. I went hard in paint as well. I said I was gonna go five times last week. I went four out of six. So not too bad. - Good. - Not too bad, all in all. I am ranked 237th with a 15.1 strain. - That's very good. - Yeah. - Well done. - I tried. - So strain this week,

Top shotters, we've got Ruth, number one. Krista. Krista, number two. And Rocha. Rocha, number three. We've had a mixy mix up. Oh, God. So, yeah, three newbies topping the table this week. Yeah, man. Very exciting. Then we got to recovery. Yeah.

- That's where daddy really came into his swing. - Yeah? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Daddy got recovered this week. I think I had one bad day. So my average recovery was 74%. - Nice. - And I'm 225th. - My average was 63. I'm at 841st. Damn. - Yeah. - Damn. And top three, we've got Felix, well played. Ruth, well played. Jakia, Jakia, I can't pronounce it.

- Yeah. - Yeah. Jack, number three. - Jack, yeah, Jack. - Yeah, Jack for sure. - Yeah. You know who you are. - Yeah, we can all see the tables. And then finally-- - Sleep. - Sleep. So again, I did all right.

Average of 77% on sleep and 966. - Average of 75%, 1,085. - Damn, okay, cool. We've got Josh, number one, Felix, number two, Stephanie, number three. Well played guys. So we're gonna, now we're in the swing of it guys. This is where shit gets exciting. So next week we're gonna set a challenge

Number one across strain. Number one across recovery. Number one across sleep. We're going to send your username off to Whoop and they're going to send you some free goodies. Yeah. So look forward to that. I'm also...

- To make things interesting, I'm gonna give Kyle their name as well. - Yep. - Kyle's been in the top 10 since day one for Strain. - Facts. - Rebecca is also gonna get an honorable mention goodies because she's been in the top 20 since day one. I'm pretty sure she was number one or number one and two for the last three weeks in a row. - Yep. - So fair play, well played guys. This is getting interesting. - It is. - So if you're thinking it's actually

Actually time for me to get off my ass. If you're thinking there for a second, turns out I'm tired of feeling and looking like this. Yeah. Because that's how I feel all the day. Yeah. All the day, all the time. Same. And it's not pretty.

to mock yourself in the mirror like that. - No, it just takes hard work to do something about it. - Yeah, it takes grit and determination. And turns out people in our community have grit and determination. So you either subscribe to the community or we're lazy bums. And there's nothing wrong with being a lazy bum. It's just, you're not a lazy bum in our community. 'Cause we don't stand for lazy bums. - You can't be. - Yeah, we don't like lazy bums. So if you're not a lazy bum, go to join.woop.com/sngtoday

Get a whoop. It's 30 days risk-free with zero commitment. And being a lazy bum doesn't mean going on marathons every day. It just means taking more accountability for the recovery that you have. More accountability for the sleep that you have. Making sure that you're hydrated. Making sure that you're actually taking the stairs when you can instead of the lift. Yeah. You know? It's all these tiny little things that make a massive difference, okay? So...

Join.woop.com forward slash SNG guys, grab your woop, 30 days, risk-free, zero commitment. If you don't like it, you will, but if you don't, you can send it back. Cool? Cool. Happy? Happy. Let's get back to the episode. Great. Cool. So I've got like a couple like recommendations, updates and stuff, right? Okay. So last night I watched a documentary. Mm. Mm-hmm.

It's on Netflix. It's called What Jennifer Did. Seen it. Then we can... Ah, we can deliberate. Seen that bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. What a liar. Yeah, what a dirty little liar. For dick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jennifer? Yeah. Wow. Jennifer Pan, whatever her name is? Yeah. She is something else. So basically, this shows a young girl

called Jennifer Pan. - I think they're based in Canada. - Yeah, they're based in Toronto, Canada. She's what, probably 22, 23? - Yeah, crime rate's low in these joints as well. Crime rate's low. - She lives in a nice, wholesome neighborhood. And I'm not gonna lie, I fell asleep for the last five minutes. I was tired. - Okay. - But I don't think I missed it much. - Oh, you wouldn't have. As long as you know the crux, you wouldn't have missed much. - So basically, out of nowhere, a random weekday afternoon,

She makes a 911 call. She says, "Fucking help." My mom's downstairs screaming and I just heard pop, pop. - I'm tied to the banister. - I'm tied to the banister. - Help me. - Fucking help me. - Come please. - Please help me. My dad's screaming outside. Help me, help me. I think my mom's been shot. They said, "Fuck, we're coming, we're coming, we're coming." So police arrive, her mom's dead.

Her dad's got a bullet in his head. He's barely alive and she's distraught. They take her to the police station and they're like, Jennifer, tell us what happened. Calm down. The floor is yours. Take your time. Tell us the story. She said, my mom went line dancing. She came home around 9.30. Dad was chilling in the yard. I was chilling in my room and I was on the phone to my friend.

I came off the phone, mum comes home and she's screaming for my dad, screaming for my dad. So that got me curious. So I looked outside, my mum's downstairs and there's a black gentleman with a gun pointed at her back. - With dreads. - With dreadlocks. And he says, sorry Ram. She comes down, the stereotype's not fair. She comes down with dreadlocks and he says, "Get him downstairs now." So I'm like, what the fuck?

And then, so he drags my dad downstairs. The three men now drag me downstairs and we're all downstairs scared for fucking everything. - They're screaming at the pops, saying, "You're a liar." - "You're a liar." - "You're a liar." - "Give me your money now." - "Give me your money now." - "You're a liar." - And dad's like, "We haven't got anything. We haven't got anything. You're a fucking liar." And then they took me upstairs and they tied me to the banister. And they went downstairs, took my mom's purse or whatever. And then all I heard was, "Pop, pop."

shot my mum, then I, and I'm like, what the fuck, what the fuck? So I managed to scringle my hands free and call the police. - Get the phone, call the police like, ah, help. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, like that. And the three men ran out the door and they said,

"Oh, it's been too long, it's been too long, we need to leave." So they ran and now my parents are dead and it's all fucked. And they're like, "Jesus Christ, that's crazy." So anyway, they don't understand why this happened, they wanna look into it. Police are flabbergasted as how this poor young girl with no criminal record, nothing could get into such a debacle. So they're like, "Why would three men pick your house out of anything else? Like, does your dad have gambling debts?"

Is your mom a prostitute? Something. Like, are you guys laundering money? What's going on? It has to be red flags somewhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's going on? She's like, no, no, no. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. And then they do some digging and it turns out she had a seven year relationship with a drug dealer. So they're like, they pull the drug dealer in, ex-boyfriend into the police station. Interview room. All I have to say is the only thing this guy was dealing was cough medicine. Yeah.

He is the softest looking bread you've ever seen. This guy's shot in ibuprofen. - Yeah, he's not really bad. - He's not a baddy, baddy. But he says, "Yeah, we were together for seven years. We had a great relationship, but her parents were so strict. They wouldn't let us be together." - They never approved because of the job I had. I worked in a pizzeria. - Yeah, I worked in a pizzeria. They said, "You're not fucking with a cook." - Yeah, you're not making it in life. - Yeah, my daughter, you're not fucking with a cook.

they broke up and that was two years ago. So police are like, hmm, obviously suspect number one, you're scorned about the breakup. You hated her parents for making a breakup with you. Tell us you did it. And man's like, big man, I didn't do shit. Plus, I've got a girl. I've got a new team. I've got a new Jornino across the way. Me and Christine are locked in. Don't worry about Jennifer. Jennifer can suck out.

But she's home girl though. Jennifer's cool. We're cool. But just know, yeah, I've got a lover at home. And her name's Christine. And they said, say less. And he said, just before you let me go,

For the last three weeks or so, I'm getting like a hundred fake calls a day and a hundred fake texts a day. Now the last text I got said bang, bang, bang. - Yeah, pow, pow, pow. - Pow, pow, pow. And they were like, pardon? And he said, yeah. Also Jennifer's been getting the same shit. And they were like- - Interesting. - Interesting, 'cause Jennifer didn't mention shit when she was in here the other day.

So they pulled Jennifer in and like, what's going on? - Interview number two. - Interview number two, Jennifer. What's really going on? Because Donnie's saying he's got a new John. He's also saying that you might not be getting texts and calls. And the last one said, bang, bang, bang. - Pow, pow, pow. - Didn't a random text from a plus four four give you red flags that just said bang, bang, bang. And then a week later, your mum and dad dead. Is this not red flags? It's not something you would bring up in the interview.

And she was like, I didn't think about it. I was distraught. Flustered. Flustered. I'm sorry. I didn't think about it. Cool, cool, cool. So then they bring in one of the experts and like, this bitch is fishy as fuck. Yeah. They bring in a lie detector expert and he starts, he's talking about, let's start at the beginning. Beginning. Jennifer, tell me about the beginning. So you break up with, what's his name? Tony or something. I don't remember his name.

Let's call him Tony. You break up with drug dealer Tony, you're angry at your mom and dad, aren't you? - Yeah. - And she's like, "A little bit, but let's relax. I see where you're going with this, let's relax." - It's my family we're talking about. - It's my family we're talking about. And they're like, "Cool, they were proud of you, right? You were like a pianist all-star, right?" - Right? - Yeah. - And she's like, "Yeah, right, right, right." And they're like, "You did good in school, right?" She's like, "Yeah, right, right, right." Cuts to another guy who went to a school and was like, "Let me tell you the facts."

For some reason, there's Asians galore in our neighborhood. Asians galore. So straight A's in our school is a minor. Let me tell you, Jennifer was not getting straight A's. All of our parents want us to be doctors, engineers, editing, lawyers, whatever. And Jennifer wasn't hacking it. So anyway, she's like, cool. So anyway, we broke up and she let slip. It was a bit techie because they found out about college.

And I was like, what do you mean they found out about college? And she was like, basically, basically. I lied. I told my mom and dad I went to college to study pharmacy. Turns out I never actually got accepted to college. And they were like, oh, okay. So what? You lied for a month, two weeks. This is a paid advertisement for BetterHelp. Bro. Talk to me. Real quick. Ask me what my self-care non-negotiables are. What? Grounding. Grounding.

Wim Hof breath work. Yeah. Eight hour sleep. Non-negotiables. Those are three perfect non-negotiables. And I'm proud of you. Thank you very much. I'm very, very proud of you. It's like when people say never skip leg day, but it's never skip therapy day. We all know how easy it is for our schedules to become overwhelmed with social gatherings and other obligations that leave us struggling to make time for the things that fill our own cups. 100%. It's like when your schedule is packed with big work projects and more.

It's easy to let your priorities slip. Even when we know what makes us happy, it can be hard to make time for it.

But guys, when you feel like you have no time for yourself, non-negotiables like therapy are more important than ever. Agreed. And therapy has broader benefits like, for example, learning how to set boundaries in your life so that you feel empowered to be the best version of yourself. Exactly that. With almost 5,000 therapists in the UK already, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a wide variety of expertise. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp.

BetterHelp.com slash GiggsPod today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash GiggsPod. I laughed for four years.

I lied for four years. I lied for four years. And created a fake certificate that said I graduated from said college. And I was going there every day. Every single day. They were dropping me there every day. And then I would just bop around for eight hours and then they would pick me up. And I would bop back on. Every day for four years. And the guy said, oh!

Oh, deary me, we're dealing with a psychopath. - A pathological liar. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, darling. Let's really get down to brass tacks. - Yeah. - Yeah, so you're, yeah, a compulsive liar. That much is true. - That's clear. - Yeah. - That's clear. - So what else have you lied about, Jenny?

And she's like, I don't know what I've lied about. I don't know what you're insinuating. Also, Christine's a bitch and she calls me stupid on Facebook all the time. God, I think she killed my parents. And they're like, chill, bro. Facts. And then...

Needless to say, the story unravels and then as it goes on and they start talking about Tony. Tell us about Tony. Tell us about Tony. Tell us about Tony. Drug dealer Tony. And he's like, oh, well, we're cool with this, with that. And she'll keep saying, but he's moved on. But he's moved on. But he's moved on. And they'll be like, well, like it was two years ago. Have you not moved on? And she was like, well, yeah, kind of. And like, and Donnie was like, you love Tony, innit? You love Tony, innit? And Jen was like, yeah.

- Yeah, a little bit still. - Can't help it. - Can't help it. Say less. And they're like, "Cool, now we need to do some digging because all I'm hearing is you're a pathological liar. Tony's been get random prank calls for like months. The last one's the bang, bang, bang. - Pow, pow, pow. - Pow, pow, pow. You keep throwing us like Christine, his new thing. He wants nothing to do with you. You lied to your parents for four years and said that you went to uni when you didn't.

"Sartain's not adding up." And all of a sudden, how do we get from there to black guy with dreads in your yard? It's not making sense. - And they also dissected the 911 call down to a T. So the question was, "How are you able to call us when you said on the phone, 'Your title are Bannister,' and your hands are behind your back? Where is the phone and how are you speaking?" Chaos ensued.

- Chaos ensued. - Chaos ensued. I'm not gonna lie though, she battened it. - She battened it well. - She battened it well, bro, 'cause they made us stand up. This must have been terrifying for her. They made us stand up and Donny was like, "Cool, just as an experiment, don't get stressed. I'm not accusing you of anything. Here's a fake phone. I want you to plant it in your waistband where you said your phone was. And I want you to put your hands behind your back and tell me how you reached the phone. Bro, homegirl is flexible." She said, "Say less, hombre." - You're stupid. - Yeah, reached behind her back and grabbed it and said,

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I was like this. - She was like, "Hello, hello." - And she flipped up like this, like I was shouting like this. - Yeah, I was shouting like this. She was like, "Well, how could you hear us?" She was like, "I turned the volume up." - I turned the volume up. - Big man. Next question. Yeah, Nick, and I said, "Say less." - Yeah. - Yeah, she did it well. - Yeah. - Yeah, she did it very well. So anyway.

We're moving on, moving on, moving on. And they're like, this is not making sense. And just as they tell the story to the point where you're like, she fucking did it. They're liars. She's a liar. She did it. She did it. She did it. All of a sudden they go to the CCTV footage. There's a security camera on one of the houses across the street. What do we see? Three s*** coming out the yard. And they're like, oh damn. Yeah. Spanner in the works. There was three brats coming out that yard. Fast forward a couple of days, the pops wakes up. Oh yeah. Yeah.

- The pops. - You forgot about the pops in it. - Pops was in a coma. - Yeah, he's the vice. - Pops was in a coma. - The pops woke up. - Yeah. - He's got the truth. - Pops woke up and says, "Keep Jennifer away from me. "Keep that bitch away from me." And he said, "Calm down, sir." - Yeah. - His name's Pan Han. - Yeah. - He said, "Calm down, Pan. "What are you talking about?" - He said, "Find out what Jennifer did." - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - He screams an awful bit. - "I need to know the truth about what Jennifer did." And they're like, "What do you mean what Jennifer did?" And he goes, "I need my rest." He said, "A rest, I need my rest."

Just keep her away from me. - Oh God. - And then, so they're like, what the fuck is Donnie talking about? And then yeah, the dad was like, these bros were her friends. She was bopping around regular degular with these men in the yard. And then we're like, but she said she was tied up to the banners though. And he was like, she was not tied to shit. - She was walking around with them leisurely. - She was bopping through the yard like she pays rent.

Find out. So then turns out, so you know how in England, I'm pretty sure it was in England and I'm pretty sure it was in America as well. In an interview, an interrogation, you can't lie. So you can't falsify. You can't falsify. No, no, no. If you're a police officer, sorry. Yeah, you can't falsify evidence verbally. You obviously can't do that to try and get a confession out of someone. Turns out in Canada, you can. As long as it doesn't like divert the course of justice,

As long as you're not forcing someone to admit to a crime, like you can lie. So basically an officer got her in the room and was like, here's the thing, you know satellites? She was like, yeah. And it was like, we have access to satellites and the satellites have like heat signature. So we can go back to that day and that time and pinpoint the closest satellite to your house and just monitor the heat signatures in the house

And where they were located in the house. And she was like, okay. And Donnie was like, so yeah, we went back. We saw the heat signatures because at this point, she doesn't know what her dad's just woke up and said. This point, we looked at it and we believe you. We can see your mom's heat signature, your dad's signature, just three other people in there. And we can see your heat signature in there. And she's like, cool, cool. Fantastic, fantastic. He's like, only thing is,

as the call's happening you're not upstairs by yourself tied to a banister you're walking around the house that's a fair so what's that about she starts starting holding her stomach holding her stomach and she put her head between her legs i can't remember what did she say at that point do you remember she whispers she was whispering she's whispering oh yeah that's it that's it that's it she was like it was meant to be it was meant to be me

And Zoe said, "What? Speak up Jennifer, I need it on tape." She said, "It was meant to be me." And they were like, "What are you talking about?" I was like, "They were supposed to come and kill me." And she was like, they were like, "What, what, what?" And he was like, "It was all an elaborate scheme to commit suicide. They were supposed to run up in the yard. I gave them VIP access." - VIP access. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how you know the door was unlocked 'cause I called it VIP. Said, "You can check my phone. You're gonna see a text that says VIP access." - From homeboy. - From homeboy. Which means come in the yard and kill me.

So they were supposed to come and kill me. They run up and they kill my parents. They left me there alive. I want my two grand back. - That's a two grand. - And that's what happened. And Donnie's like, "Fair, but none of that makes sense. Why would you pay them money to kill you for them to run up in hells and then murder your parents and leave you alive? None of that makes any sense, Jennifer." She was like, "I don't know what makes sense or doesn't make sense. All I know is I'm an orphan and I wanna go home." - Yeah. - And Donnie was like, "Shut up."

Anyway, they poke and prod, poke and prod, poke and prod. Turns out once they start digging up the phone files, Tony, I lied. He's not shot cough medicine. He's a dark motherfucker. He's an orchestrator. Yeah, he's an orchestrator. So turns out Jennifer was in her mom and dad's will or life insurance policy or whatever. And if they died, she would get half a mil. Hmm.

Tony said, I knew even though I'm 10 toes for Christine, I know that Jennifer loves me so much that if she got 500K, I can extort at least 40. Or 400, sorry. I can at least extort, I can manipulate her and take at least 400. I know that for a fact. And I want to build my drug empire. Yeah.

As we said, I can just run more drugs. She'll give me 400. I know she will. And then, so they go through the text and then she's like, cool. They basically got a plan. You're going to chat to homeboy. Homeboy is just a hired gun. You're going to chat to homeboy. He's going to run up in my yard and he's going to kill my parents. I want my parents dead. I hate that they made us break up. I want my parents dead. Get homeboy up in here and kill my parents. She's like, he's like,

Don't worry. Then like the day before she's like, hey baby, I know tomorrow's the day. Can't wait for them to be dead so we can be together. And man's scared. F.Y.I. Christine's still bae. Yeah. She's next to me. After,

- After, yeah, she's literally laying on my chest as we speak. After all this murdering stuff is done, don't start calling me bae. - Don't call my phone. - Yeah, don't call my phone anymore. - Let it die down a bit. - Yeah, let the heat die down. I love her. And she's like, but I love you. And he's like, yeah, I know. - It's a triangle ting for now. - Yeah, it's a triangle ting and I feel for you, but Christine's my girl. - Facts. - You're talking crazy stuff now. And she's like, well, if that's how it is, then charge the whole scheme. Charge the whole scheme. And so it's like, well,

- No, you said you hated them regardless. - It's too late. - Yeah, it's too late. Her boy's coming. And she's like, "Text him now." I said, "Don't come." Text him now, I said, "Don't come." - It's too late. - It's like, "Shut up and go to bed." - It's happening. - Yeah, it's happening. Chat to him yourself. - It's happening. - So anyway, yeah. - It's what she does the night of the event.

She gets the message from home boy. She's like, are we good to go? Green light. She's like, cool. Mom comes back home. Flashback to what James said. Mom comes back home from line dancing. She comes down, says, oh, wagwan mom. She goes to look as if she's going to lock the door, check that the door's locked, unlocks it, goes upstairs. And then she says, VIP access ready. And then that's how the story unfolds again. Yeah, bro. They ran up in there and murdered everybody. And yeah, that's it. Yeah.

- It was crazy. - Wow. - Good documentary. - I remember seeing it. - Juicy. - I've seen parts of it, but I don't remember. I must not be paying attention fully. I don't remember all the details. I completely forgot about the dad waking up. What happened to him afterwards? - They didn't say. - He put a restraining order on her. - Oh, he put a,

- Yeah, by his health, they didn't say anything about it. - And she's apparently at the end of the documentary said she's appealing now. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. - She's in the appeal process of trying to get out, say like claim it innocent. So when they ran it actually up to trial, so she went through the whole thing and was like, fine, fine, fine, I did it, I did it, I did it. When it actually came to trial, she was like not guilty. So now she's still to this day, go through some appeal process too. Ridiculous. - Nah, duh. - Absolutely ridiculous. - Good show, good documentary. - Very good. - What I wanted to say,

You man seen invincible. I wanted to bring up last week, I forgot. I forgot. - I forgot. - That episode? - Oh shit. - This is why I said, I was saying to my boy Chia do that. They needed the break because what they did in the last four episodes or whatever. Wow, but the last episode, episode eight, I think that's the finale 'cause there wasn't anything last week.

Episode eight was insanity, brother. That's with the broken arm? Yes. Oh my. Insanity. Oh my God. What an episode. What he did to Oliver? This guy's on stuff, bro. Smoke. He, I had to double check. Sterling K. Brown was the voice actor for the brother and for the villain. Who? Oh, I recognize the voice. Who is that? Sterling K. Brown. I don't know who that is. Google him. You'll know when you see him. I could recognize the voice. So I knew I'd heard the voice before. He,

Perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's perfect. He was perfect for it. Yeah, he is. Wow. Wow. Bro. And then you hear Invisible saying, but I thought he was strong. He told me he was strong. He told me he was strong. Yeah. You know next season's gonna pop. When you hear the words he told me he was strong, bro, you feel it. Yeah. You feel what he's actually just done. Yeah. He told me he was strong. And you understand...

how arms he can possibly go bro when he said i'm i'm tired of holding back yeah i was like brah yeah two seasons you've been holding back yeah bro yeah invincible's gonna get crazy but i keep seeing i'm not spoilers but i keep seeing like spoiler-esque stuff okay on uh tiktok because that people read the comic the comics leagues ahead yeah because they said season three and four is already like green lit yeah yeah the comics leagues ahead so like

I haven't seen what he does, but just people do like ranking systems of like who's the strongest character in Invincible. Mark. Where it's at right now and where the comics are at, Mark's literally the strongest character out of everyone. Really? Really. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting is correct. Yeah. And when the pop said...

- I Miss My Wife. - Ooh! - That was a juicy teaser. - It was a juicy teaser. - That one, 'cause he's gonna come back and do stuff to man. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - He's gonna come back and do stuff. - He's gonna come back to earth and just pick up where he left off. - Yeah! - Yeah, it's fucking good. - Rem, you need, I've never watched one ep.

- Oh my God, you're physically missing a jigsaw piece to your entirety. - Yeah. - You are going to have the best binge session of your entire life. - I'm jealous. What I would give to have not seen a single episode of "Invincible" and binge watch it up to where it's at now. - Wow. - My goodness. - I'm probably gonna watch it again. - I'll happily watch it again. It's fan-fucking-tastic. I think, as far as shit that's coming out, I think it's better than "The Boys."

- Facts. - In a comparative sense. - Yes. Oh, my comparative question to you is what's better? This or the blue eyed samurai? - Oh, the blue eyed samurai was fucking amazing. - You speak more highly of this than you did of blue eyed samurai. - Yeah, but blue eyed samurai. - I know, I've seen that. - Blue eyed samurai was physically insane. - Yeah. - But the way that your enthusiasm and the way you speak about this. - This is crazy. - This is like, I've never seen anything. - To me, this is better. - Yeah. - But blue eyed samurai was,

episode for episode for episode for episode. - Every episode was good. - Invincible has like downtime. Invincible has like his own downtime. So you'll be watching it and it's like, it's fair, they don't waste your time. But it's like, there's just ups and downs. Like, Blood Samurai was like, go, go, go, go, go.

But Invincible is like everything I wanted the Justice League to be when I was watching as a kid. Like you could tell like whatever they did to make Justice League PG had so much potential, but they would just hold back and it was still amazing. Invincible is just getting rid of all that shit. - Yes, 21 plus, not even 18. - Bro, he told me he was strong. One of the most impactful scenes of metahuman cinema I've ever seen.

- Bro, he told me he was strong. - Oh my God. - I actually can't believe you've never seen it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You've spoken about this show plenty of times. - Oh Rem, you have to. In this one, you get a full scope of everyone. Like you get like a laid perspective of Omni-Man, a layered perspective of Mark, a layered perspective of Rex. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Bro, when they popped him in his head. - And he's .

He said, I'm not going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not going. Yeah, yeah. It's very good. And what's her face as well? Eve? Eve, yeah. Arms, man. Yeah, really fucking good. Such a good show. Really fucking good. Damn. This has to be the best show on Amazon. It has to be. Oh, hands down. It has to be. 8.7 out of 10 on IMDb. That's high. 99% Rotten Tomatoes. Wow. Yeah, it's fantastic. Cool. So...

But yeah, that was what I was gonna talk about. - Gang, finally, as far as show recaps go, maths, I have a more nuanced perspective. - Oh, good. - Bring up the cast now, before I forget.

I have a nuanced perspective now. So obviously guys bear with me. I'm still behind. - Yeah. - I know for a fact in last week's episode, my recap literally took like 25 minutes, half an hour. I'm gonna, I say this every year. I'm gonna try and shorten it. - Try to down, yeah. - Right, so I'm gonna skip through the boring stuff. - Okay. - So Andrea and what's her name again? - Rich, Richie. - Richard and Andrea.

Where we're at at the minute, still boring. Okay. So they love each other. They love each other. They love each other. They're giving other people advice on how to make their relationships better. They love each other. They love each other. The worst thing he did was they did a photo ranking of every year they get all the, there's always like a test, right? And the way some guys still fall for this test is absolutely insane. It's actually ridiculous. So they'll get pictures of all the other wives. Oh, and then rank them. Rank them from penguins to most ugly. And then where do you put your wife? He put her like third.

- Why don't you put your wife first? - Yeah, everyone knows put your wife first. Anyway, Cassandra and Tristan. - Tristan.

Tristan has insecurity issues. - Oh yeah, I remember you saying that to me. - So he used to, yeah, I remember Rem touching it last week. He used to be overweight. - Yes, yes, yes, yes. - He can't stand rejection because he's like, when I say he's been rejected in his life, bro, he used to say that he used to chirp stings and not only would they say like, nah, but they would like laugh at him. - In his face? - In his face. - That will break my soul. - Yeah, and he said it was just, he's just only been friend zoned in his life. Cassandra, his wife,

Gorgeous by the way. That picture doesn't do her justice. - No it doesn't. - Gorgeous. She is down for him. - Nice. - But she's so down for him, but she was saying, I can't handle this pussyhole mentality you have yourself. - Yeah. - Because she was like your self image. He even said to the experts, like, I hate myself.

I hate myself. And she was like, that's all well and good. But like, you're dragging me down when you keep talking about insecurity, this insecurity, that insecurity, that, and I'm the one who has to keep reminding you. I think you're gorgeous. I think you're lovely. I think you're this. I think you're that. It's exhausting, bro. And it's baffling.

So they had the sex expert come around and was like, he was like, I've been asking her like, do you find me physically attractive? Do you find me physically attractive? And Cassandra was like, it's bro, it's draining when you keep saying that. And he was like, yeah, I get it, I get it. So she said to her, she said, the expert asked Cassandra, do you find him attractive? She started crying and said, in this moment in time, no, I do not. Because I can't find someone who verbally assaults themselves.

- Yeah. - Is it possible? So unless he perks up, it's charged. - Were they in a room together or separate? - They were in a room together. He was like, he started crying and he was like, I had no idea I was making this upset. No idea whatsoever. So that's them. I'll see how that goes. But they're a good couple. Eden and her, oh my God. - This is the troublemaker, no? - Oh no, the kickboxer that's alive in her. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got a past.

So, came out, yeah, so they did some confession things. So Eden, his wife, her one trauma is that she got cheated on by her ex and her ex cheated on her with her best friend. So they're going through confession stuff, confession stuff. And he was like, I have to tell you something and get off my chest. Jaden's saying this. Jaden's saying this. And he's like, and it's going to change the way you look at me as a man. And she was like, Jesus Christ, what is it? Rough. Oh, bro. So he said...

Because when he first signed up, they said, he mentioned that he'd been cheated on in the past. So he was like, long story short, my ex was cheating on me religiously, nonstop. This is Jaden saying this. Jaden saying my ex was cheating on me nonstop and it was getting embarrassing. I was having Donnie's come up to me in the streets and I fucked your girl. It was getting too much. I'd move country. Oh, bro. It was getting too much and I was losing my head. So I confronted her, et cetera, et cetera. And like, big man ting.

I said I wanted to work it out. She wanted to work it out. I wanted to work it out. So I said, cool. The only way I can work past this is if I fuck one of your friends while you watch. He said, if you want us to move past this and you're really sorry about what you've done, you're going to watch me fuck your best friend. And he's like, so I did. And she watched. So his wife was like, you know my trauma is my ex fucking my best friend. And he was like, oh yeah. And she was like,

So are you telling me this because you're remorseful because you regret it and he was like I'm just telling you because it happened. Mmm. I don't regret shit She was like big man. You don't regret that. Mmm. She was like that's sick in the head, but would you regret it though? Yes, but I'm thinking about the fact that he has been cheated on by his girl You said multiple times and Donnie's are coming up to him saying our body where banged your girl. Yeah so

- So it was revenge for him? - Yeah, it was revenge. So she's saying, she basically asked him like, "It's revenge, 100%. So do you regret stooping to that level to commit revenge?" - Okay, okay, okay. Oh yeah, of course. That's pointless. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - All of that is pointless. - Yeah, exactly. And he was like, "Nah." So she was saying, "What you did is one thing, but the fact that I'm asking you, do you regret revenge fucking to get

Back at your ex Who cheated on you And then continued A relationship with her After And he was like Yeah I don't regret it So He was like She was like Cool like I don't think I can continue this If you don't regret it And then afterwards They hear him back He's like Yeah I regret it Obviously I'm not trying to Lose my woman I regret it Yeah anyway Next Ellie and Ben So Ben's the one With the fucking podcast With 11 subscribers Okay She Is Colourful Where I'm at

So her main thing was, I want kids, I want kids, I want a family, I want kids. So they were ranking order of priorities in life. So they had a whole list of different priorities and they had to rank in order. She had like family and kids, number one and two. He had family and kids at like 11 and 12. So she was like,

what's going on with this? I need explanations. So he was like, bro, I don't really want kids. Like I'm 50, 50. I don't really give a fuck about kids. She was like, big man, on our wedding day, you told me you want kids. So she went off to the, um,

She went off to the experts and they said, "I don't know." This is on her own, with the other girls actually, where he was in there, he was like, "I don't know if he's here for the right reasons." I know my cousin was grilling him about promoting his podcast or getting a name for himself. And I thought, obviously that was bullshit. But the fact that he told me he wanted kids, now he's like, "No, I don't really want kids." And apparently they went out for dinner and he was like, "Do you think I'm here for the right reasons?" And she was like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you're here for the right reasons." And apparently he was like, "I think you're here for the right reasons."

So she was like, okay, I don't think you're here for the right reasons. What's all this mocking stuff? Why are you mocking me, bro? What the fuck is wrong with you? So anyway, she ran off telling everyone, I actually don't think he's here for the right reasons because he's being a dickhead and he's lying about what he wants with the kids. So after she's already told everyone, this guy's moving crazy. I don't think he's here for the right reasons. That night, she comes home and he's like, sit down, sit down, sit down. She's like, what's up, what's up? And she was vexing him, innit? She was like, what's up, bro? Like, what the fuck do you want to do? Like, what do you want to say to me? He's like, so...

I called my sister today just to check in on her. And I spoke to my niece. And my niece said something that made me laugh. And it made me realize I do want kids. So she was like, so this whole time you've been saying, I don't want kids. And then you spoke to your niece who you speak to every day. And she made you laugh. And all of a sudden, the day after we had the conversation about me being vexed that you don't want kids, you're now sitting me down to tell me you do want kids. And he's like, yeah. And she, you'd expect her to be like,

bore off because she was like, oh, thank God. Oh, thank God. I was really worried. I'm so happy to hear that. I'm so happy to hear you had to change your heart after 24 hours. Goal of all. We'll see how that develops. I don't know what's going to happen from there. Damn. Next. Oh, Lauren. I don't have much for Lauren. She...

I'll give her authenticity as 10-10. She said from day one, she doesn't want a passive man. She wants a man who's argumentative. She wants a man who's passionate. She wants a man to challenge her. She wants a man to make fun of her. She wants all this. Good God, does she want that? Because Jonathan, her man, is a lovely guy.

Truly, truly lovely guy. And shit, that's not for her. Bro, she keeps saying, bro, you're chatting like some autopilot robot. Everything I say to you, you're like, okay, fair enough. I can do that. Or yeah, that's fine. We can do this. She's like, it's fucking boring, big man. Tell me how you feel, bro. But she did one thing that really pissed me off. And I don't like it. And he wasn't like, he's not,

there enough to like get it off his chest and articulate how he feels so basically there was one bit where she was like he basically said there's a lot of times you make me feel like you give me coldness like you're cold to me and it makes me feel like you hate me she's like

Big man, this is what I'm talking about. We've been together for three fucking weeks and it's the first fucking time I'm hearing about it. Like how am I supposed to judge you as a character and how are you supposed to judge me as a character when you feel this way and you're keeping it in your chest for three fucking weeks and I'm only fucking hearing about it now. So how am I supposed to work on myself if you're holding it in for three weeks?

And then he was like, yeah, I guess you're right, et cetera, et cetera. But the thing is, yeah, is that she's not understanding that it obviously takes a lot for him to get that and say that. - Get to that stage. - Get to that stage. So if this is the first time he said it, you're not making him feel comfortable that he's gonna say it next time. Because he's now saying it and you're cussing him saying, why did I do that? So now he's thinking, well, even though she's- - Now he's just gonna retract. - Yeah, now it's a hostile environment, next time,

Maybe if we're in a good mood and you do something to annoy me, maybe I don't want to bring it up and ruin the mood. Maybe I want to wait until we're in like a nice calm situation away from, maybe if we're fucking doing up splash time in the pool, maybe I don't want to say, oh, what you said just annoyed me. Maybe I just want to keep the good vibes rolling. Maybe I want to hold my song. So now if I feel like if I don't say it exactly in that moment that you pissed me off,

That like I don't feel comfortable To ever say it Yeah So that pissed me off Apart from that She's gone up on my books A little bit Only because she's Incredibly authentic Okay Alright next up Oh god Lucinda and I can't wear that dress man Bro Lucinda And Timothy Yeah So Where I'm at right now Yeah

They have an issue with sex. - How so? - So they haven't had sex. She's desperate for it. - It's been like what, three weeks? - It's been three weeks. She's absolutely- - Gagging for it. - Gagging. She finds him so attractive. And when I say her eye contact is crazy. - Oh, this is the one that said it's okay and rubbed the- - Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's absolutely lovely. - Okay. - She wants to fuck Timothy badly.

And he keeps saying, "It just takes a lot for me. It takes a lot for me. I'm a slow burner. I like, it needs to grow on me." She's like, "I'm patient. It's fine. Whatever." - Yeah. - So going, going, going, going, going. And then we get to the commitment ceremony, right? So commitment ceremony now. Timothy's chilling there and he's done his piece, et cetera, et cetera. I'm a slow burner, yada, yada, explicitly like, "Fair enough, bro. Go sit down. Let's work on it."

It comes to Jack and fucking Tori are now on the couch. They're sitting down and basically he does not fancy Tori. Similar situation to Timothy. He does not fancy his wife, but he's more open about it. So he's been like, oh, like she's lovely. She's great. Everything. I just don't have that sexual connection with her. So he's trying to say,

as well on the couch, same as Timothy. Slow burner, slow burner, slow burner. So Timothy's, when Jack's saying slow burner, slow burner, Timmy's in there like, scoffing, innit? So the experts turn to Timothy and be like, bro, do you have something to say? He's like, bro, I'm gonna say it how it is, innit? Like,

You're talking about slow burn, slow burn, slow burn. But you're talking about a sexual creature. Yada, yada, yada. Like, I'm not sure. I don't think it's authentic. I just think you're not checking for your wife, big man. Like, I'm putting my hands up. That's how I see it. That's how I'm calling it as I see it, bro. And then the old guy, what do you say his old? Richard. Richard, the old guy, jumps in and was like, I thought he was going to back Timothy up and be like, fair, bro. I agree with Timothy. He was like-

One sec, Timothy bro. Because when I met you man, before everyone got married and we were out on the stag do, everyone around us said, would you fuck your wife on the first night? Jack said he wouldn't. You big man said you definitely would. When I say he was like, and his wife was staring daggers at him. He couldn't make eye contact. And she was like, swear.

Swear you told all the man them you'd fuck on the first night and then you saw me and said nah can't do it slow burner

Oh, they're in trouble, bro. They're in trouble right now. It's techie. Yeah. It's very fucking techie. He's also a fucking troublemaker as well. So I'm at the next dinner party now. I haven't finished it. So he's cooking up some trouble where I'm at right now. He's a little gossip, bro. And he loves to like set off little fireworks everywhere else. But every single time he does, for some reason, all the bricks fall on him. So I don't know why he keeps doing it. But anyway, it's long.

Natalie and Collins. So Collins is the one I said they're trying to sidetrack him into Love on the Spectrum. - Yeah. - Bro, this guy is the single worst actor anyone's ever seen. So they've left now. - Both of them? - Both of them are gone. Natalie charged him. So basically he sat down and was like, "Yeah, I really, really, really want this to work." And then like,

Long story short bro, every time he's like, "Wow, yeah." So he'll see her and she'll be like, "Hi Collins, how are you?" And he'll be like, "Wow, Natalie, fucking amazing to see you, mate." And she's like, "Yeah." And he's like, "Yes, you're so just lovely, Natalie." And he's like, "Cool." And she's like, "Big man." And then when the commitment started, they're like, "Do you like her?" - Yeah. - Like, "Do you even like her?"

"Oh my God, I think she is the single most perfect woman I've ever met in my life." And the day before that, they had a dinner party and she was trying to leave. She was like, "I can't do this anymore." And then he was like, "Oh my God, oh my God, like you're leaving, you're leaving." And then bro, first thing they pulled him backstage and was like, "How do you feel like your wife's leaving?" And he was like, "Does that mean I have to leave too?" And then they were like, "Yeah, big man, you have to leave too." And he was like,

He's like, "I have to go work tomorrow." And they were like, "Yeah, bro, you're going to work tomorrow." - The experiment's done. - Yeah, your ting's done. And he was like, "My brand at first sight journey's over. Oh my God, I can't believe it." And then the dinner party's still going on, so he can hear him laughing in the back. And he's like, "I can hear them laughing back there. I just wanna go back there. I just wanna go there." And they're like,

Sorry He's here He's FOMO He's killing him Yeah yeah yeah So anyway They tried it again She was like Sorry sorry sorry Let me just try again And then within five minutes Of him this Yeah Yeah I love you Natalie Like you're just the perfect person She was like Big man Every time you speak I hear an orchestra This is the worst Oscar performance I've ever fucking seen big man You're a fucking weirdo Yeah You're a weirdo bro So they left She was like Fuck this bro Yeah it's tough for Collins

Sarah and her man Tim. - They look like they're banging. - They do. But put some respect on my man Tim. She's a fucking gaslighter. She's a gaslighter, she's mean bro. So he's about it with her. He likes her, likes her. And she's told him, I want a man to take control. I want you to book dates. I want you to do this. I want you to be dominant and take control of like our situation. And he's like,

So three weeks in a fucking row, this guy has told her, "I've booked us a date for tomorrow. I've booked us a date for tomorrow." She's like, "Oh my God, I literally can't wait." And he's like, "Gang, got you, babe." And then everything good, everything pure. That night she decided, she'll decide to go out with the girls, get off her tits. And then the next morning when it's time for date time, she's like, "I'm too hungover, I can't go." So,

Third week in a row, he pulls her up and was like, "Look," and he's a nice guy, bro. He does not like conflict. He can't make eye contact or anything when they're in conflict. He's like, "Look, yeah, I don't wanna be an asshole here, but I'm like seriously, seriously pissed off that you keep telling me you want me to stay control, you want me to do dates." Three weeks in a row,

I've booked us a date. Three weeks in a row, you've canceled the date last minute because you're fucking hung over. Like you're mugging me off. Bro, do you know what she said? What? She said,

you're just moving mad insecure like i don't know what else i can do she was like i'm sorry i missed the date but like i can't have a man that's telling me they don't want me to go out my friends i need girl time that's not what i said when i say his lip was quivering his lip was quivering yeah there couldn't be cameras yeah yeah yeah his lip was quivering through her head he was like i physically can't take this and he was like and she just kept she kept repeating gaslighting it was like bro she's just not taking any accountability and it's

turning me off. It's turning me off. She's not taking, I can't stand someone who can't take accountability. And I was like, facts, Tim. Turn to her face, bro. She's moving mad, bro. And he was like, you're just not about it. And the fact that you keep spinning it, making me out to be some insecure little boy is pissing me off. So they've gone to the dinner party. The next episode I'm about to watch, they have an altercation.

And he shouts at her, but I'm vexed already because the clip they showed me was that she shouts at him, he shouts back, and then she gaslights him again. She's like, don't you fucking dare shout at me. And then starts crying. Obviously, every single time in the history of maths, every time a girl cries, at least nine other girls chase her out the room. And it causes such a scene. And no matter what happened... The girl was right. The girl was right. It makes the guy look like an arsehole no matter what.

Every time it pisses me off, it always happens, bro. She screams in his face and she's like, no, you fucking didn't. And he, oh, bro, he was a man just then. He goes, yes, I did. And then like the echo goes. And then I was like, fuck. All you hear is puddle, puddle, puddle. It's like, yes, I do it. And then she's like, don't shout at me. Walks off. So I need to see what episode happens there. I don't know what they're arguing about.

for him to do that but I can tell he's already on the edge yeah someone needs to put some respect on Tim bro because he's a good guy he's a good guy it's pent up anger it's from the day it's from the day resentment yeah it's out of order bro I hate what she's doing to him yeah alright moving on Tori Tori and Jack yeah same thing same thing he's telling everyone she she's convinced they're the number one couple and she's convinced they're about to fuck he is telling the world I can't you can't pay me to fuck this girl

She's lovely. You can't pay him as fuck, Miss Girl. That's all there is for them two. Okay, that's it. - That's it. - Cool, man. All right, that's it. So yeah, maths is cooking. - Say less. - Maths is cooking. - Say less. - Right, who am I to finish up, yeah? - Yes. - Yeah, let's do it. - Shit. - Yes. - Right, this who am I, yeah? - Mm-hmm. - Nice. - I test, I was afraid it was too hard.

So I test ran it with my brother who's very good at it. Of course, he said it was too hard. But I think read out loud, it will be easier. We'll see. So what we'll do is I'm gonna go, we're going back to the old way. I'm gonna go for the whole thing. Give you guys an opportunity to guess. And then I'll, if needed, I'll go through it again and emphasize the bits needed. Okay? - Yeah, yeah. - Cool. - But this is a difficult one.

Who am I? So this is from the perspective of the person I am. And the way you're supposed to guess who I am is because I'm, I basically spend the time. So it's, I'm talking about my counterpart per se. And by explaining the counterpart, if you could figure out who the counterpart is, you'll figure out who I am. It's Wednesday again, or is it Friday? I lose track.

I wake up every morning expecting a new sensation but the cycle remains unbroken. We simply rinse and repeat him and I. It still feels like our first dance but the song just never ends. I used to hate him, I really did. I never understood why he pursued me so aggressively. What did I ever do to him? I only felt safe within the confines of this hole in the wall I call home. But now I realize safety is a fallacy and one I no longer wish to subscribe to at that

I need excitement and he's the only one who gives it to me. I still don't understand his intentions as to why he wants me. Is it for play? Am I his prey? Or am I just invading his personal space? Needless to say, in this game of cat and mouse, I feel useless without him. He's the ying to my yang, the push to my pull. I am nothing without him and he is the same without me. So because of that, I wake up every day with a spring in my step and we go again.

I let him get a glimpse and he chases me like a dog on heat, but he's not a dog. I know he's a pussy at heart. I also know if I ever let him get his hands on me, he'll run through me like a tank engine. So for now, I'll keep playing hard to get because I know he loves the chase. Tom and Jerry. Oh my God. Well fucking played, Ellis. I knew it was Tom and Jerry. Let's fucking go.

- Fair play. - Well played. - I was worried about that 'cause like I got it straight away and I was like, someone's gonna fucking say it. - Okay. - I did notice Tom and Jerry as well. - Fair play. I was thinking too far outside the box. I was thinking the Joker. - Joker? - That's like the third time someone said the Joker already. - Yeah. - True. - But yeah, fair play. - Nice. Is that your first one? - Yeah, that's my first one. - Well played. - Well played. What gave it away for you for Tom and Jerry? Or it's Jerry, but yeah.

- The like repetitiveness, like I'll get up and do it again. And like, it was the repetitive cycle of it. That's what I got it. Cause I was like every episode, it's the same thing. - Oh wow, well played bro. - Yeah, that's what I got. - I'm really happy you got, I'm really happy for you, you know? - Nice. - I'm gassed you got that. - Yeah, I'm happy about that. - What gave it away for you Rem?

I've just scrubbed my answers up you said there was yin and yang springing this step you said cat and mouse I did actually as well yeah and this like Ellie said the repetitiveness the back and forth um

The counterpart being Tom Being a pussy at heart They were always playing hard to get Like yeah there was a lot of I couldn't It was screaming Tom If you didn't say that Literally a second later I would have said Tom Fair fucking play I'm really happy about that That's sick Yeah when I said to my bro He's like that's too hard I was like I can't be bothered To make it easier I didn't think that was hard at all Alright gang That was good Cool Right Thank you very very very very much We appreciate you This was a good episode And as always Love love love Gang gang gang

Let's talk about something that's not always top of mind, but still really important. Life insurance. Why? Because it offers financial protection for your loved ones and can help them pay for things like a mortgage, credit card debt. It can even help fund an education.

And guess what? Life insurance is probably a lot more affordable than you think. In fact, most people think life insurance is three times more expensive than it is. So with State Farm Life Insurance, you can protect your loved ones without breaking the bank. Not sure where to start? State Farm has over 19,000 local agents that can help you choose an option to fit your needs and budget. Get started today and contact a State Farm agent or go to statefarm.com.

Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. We put together a morning show that we call The Burt Show because we didn't like morning shows. We keep it real, we keep it fun, and it's going to be very different than anything that you have heard before. What I

What I love most about this show is everybody's vulnerability. Whether it's dating, relationships, family issues, or what's going viral right now, we talk about any and everything. We also like to talk about celebs and keep you up to date on what's going down in Hollywood with the entertainment buzz. Listen and subscribe to The Burt Show podcast free wherever you get your favorite podcast. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com.