TOXIC ADVICE YOU WOULD GIVE YOUR YOUNGER SELF?! | EP 441
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I don't know.

Until your ultimate demise. What if we just say forever? Okay. $25 a month, forever. Get unlimited talk, text, and data for just $25 a month with Boost Mobile forever. After 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers will pay $25 a month as long as they remain active on the Boost Unlimited plan. We'll be three shots in at a party. Okay, okay, okay. And I'll be like, I have to tell you something. Have we given it too long? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Guys. Girls. Welcome back. Welcome back indeed. Um.

I just had an amazing jerk chicken for my lunch. Yeah, yeah. You said, where'd you get? I'm not going to bait. I'm actually not going to say where it was. You told me already. Yeah, it was good. You should try it. I was surprised. Jerk wings, right? It was jerk wings? I have jerk wings. I didn't eat the jerk wings, but mine was, it was just breast, I think. Okay, cool. Or maybe thigh, actually. It was kind of dark.

Right, to get started today, to get our mind going and moving and shaking, I wanted to bring back an old game that we played once upon a time in Manchester and we haven't played it since.

I brought it or you brought it to the table? I brought it to the table. I brought it to the table then. I'm bringing it to the table now. It's more of an exercise than a game. Okay. Just to get your synapses firing. So it's going to be just, I don't even have a name for this exercise, but we'll call it, what did you call it? We'll call it Mr. Affiliate.

So we're going to call it Mr. Affiliate, all right? So we're going to set a scene and we're going to see how good Fuha can lie, okay? So this is the scene. I remember this. We are in a party. Oh my God. And we don't know each other. Okay. We bump into each other and you're in witness protection and you need to convince me of a life story that is not yours, okay? And I need to believe it.

- I'm in witness protection. - You're in witness protection. No one can know your real identity. - Okay, okay, okay. - Anyone else is, anyone in this room could be an op. So you're in the party. I'm a stranger. You're a stranger to me. We bump into each other. Conversation starts going. And based on the questions I ask you, you need to just have a conversation with me and me believe everything you said. - All right, man. All right. - Ready? - We can try. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - All right.

I won't drag on too long I won't make yourself too long Alright cool cool cool cool cool cool I'm also in witness protection I need to do the same Okay Yeah Cool We need to It's not fair that I can just be myself and you can't Okay We're both in witness protection We both have to hide our real lives Alright cool Ready? Yeah

- All right, Rem, can I get a... - All right. - What's up? - Oh, this is the dance. Yo, what's good bro? - I don't know this DJ, do you? - No, I never heard of him before. Bit different though. - Yeah. - Why are you here? - Huh? - Why are you here? I'm surprised you're here. - Why am I at a party? - Yeah, why are you at this party? - Oh, David invited me. - Okay, okay, okay. - You know David? - I actually don't know David. No, no, no, no. I know his housemate though.

- David has a housemate? - Yeah, a girl, Sharon. You've not heard of her before? You don't know Sharon? - No, I've never met Sharon. Who is she? - Oh, I'm David's housemate, obviously. - Fair. - Yeah. - How'd you meet her? - I met her through, actually we went to school together a long time ago. I thought, it was one of the ones where I thought like we lost contact, but yeah. Hollered her on Facebook and then yeah, it's just been friends since then. - Fair play, bro. So what's your name? - Femi, what's yours? - Femi? - Yeah. - Jamal.

- Jamal, nice to meet you, bro. - Nice to meet you too, fam. - Nice to meet you too. - God, this DJ's great. What do you do for work, bro? - I don't do much, you know, just import, export, nothing crazy. - Import and export? - Yeah, nothing crazy, bro, just import, export. - That's not believable.

- Oh God. - All right. - I got drug dealers. - Just import, export, nothing crazy, man. - All right, cool. - Nothing crazy. - Ready? - Can I think?

- Import and export? - Yeah, man. - What do you import, bro? - Just fruits. Just fruits, fruits from the islands, man. - Fruits from the islands? - Fruits from the islands, man. Yeah, man. - Like what? - Guavas, avocados. - They're from LA, I'm pretty sure. They only grow in LA. - I'll be damned.

You'll be damned. I'm pretty sure I read a study where avocados are just from like California. - That's incorrect bro. - They're in the islands too? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Fair play bro, I'll take your word for it fam. - Thank you G. - What do I do? - Sorry, yeah, what about you? What do you do? - What do I do? I'm an orthodontist. - An orthodontist? So talk me through what that means.

- You don't know about orthodontist? - Not really. - To be fair, I suspected you had braces, but clearly you didn't. So well played, bro. You got pretty good natural teeth. - Thank you, G, appreciate it. - Yeah, man. You ever had your bite tested? - My bite's tested now. - Has anyone ever offered you a Visalign? You ever heard of a Visalign? - I've heard of it. Heard of it, never had it done before. - That's my main name of business right now, bro. We don't really do braces anymore. Too technical. What used to happen was,

- Oh, what used to happen was with braces, we used to have to take out the two back teeth from the top and the bottom because there's so much movement that it would fuck up people's things. So classically with braces, people had a lot of missing teeth and it didn't make sense. So we only really need to lose like a small gap of the teeth in order to make the adjustments. So what I do is I shave a small bit of tooth off, put the Invisalign in,

- 23 cases bro, or trays as we call them. - Okay, and then that's it, light work. - 23 trays bro, 23 bags, you know what I'm saying fam? - I hear you, a bag of trays, say less. - Yeah, yeah bro. - A bag of trays. - Do you work out bro, you look like you do. - A bit, nothing too crazy, nothing too crazy. Yeah, I just try and keep fit, you know. - Yeah? - Yeah. - Yeah, reform of pilates, twice a week. - Okay, that's good bro. - Yeah bro, keeps me active. - I can tell.

- Thank you G. - I can tell, I can tell man. - You look like you're flirting with me fam. - No, I'm just saying what I see and you're like a strong ute. - Yeah. - You're like a strong ute. - Yeah. - Talk to me. - You look like you're flirting with me fam, I don't like it. - No, no, no, I'm not flirting with you, I'm just talking to you. - Why you call me a strong ute? - It's just how I speak. - Okay, fair play. - It's how I speak. - Sorry bro. - Yeah, that's fine. - Yeah. - You don't know me, I don't know you. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, enjoy your night. - Thank you bro, you too. - And scene.

- Not bad. - Not bad. - That's all right. - Import, export. - Stopped, the music cut. - DJs are- - Import, export. Fucking hell man, that's so funny. All right, fair play. Cool. Mr. Affiliate. That wasn't bad.

- That was terrible, let's not lie. That was terrible. - We'll run it back when the time is right. - Yeah, we shall, we shall. But good, I like that scenario though. - Gang G. - Good brain game. - Yeah, man. - Good brain game. Anyways, guys, as you already know, we hit the ground running and this week's question of the week was, what toxic advice would you give your younger self? - Gang. - I'm just gonna hit, go straight for it. - Hit the ground running. - Hit the ground running. All right, what toxic advice would you give your younger self?

We know you don't like him. It's okay that you're using him for his car so you don't take the bus. Fair. Fair. Fair. Right. What toxic advice would you give to your younger self? Marry for money and cheat back. Marry for money and cheat back. Okay. This one. Leave her before your life becomes meaningless.

- Meaningless. - Yeah. - Shit. Okay, cool. Next one. - Yeah. - This one's sweet to me. Don't pull out. I'm pretty sure we're shooting blanks. - Oh, wow. - Bro. - Wow. - Have you ever had that fear before? - No. - Have any of you guys had that fear before? - No. - Not that it has me. I'm just curious. It's never happened to me. Well, I've touched one. - I don't think so. - Erectile dysfunction. - Yeah.

Super dehydrated when I was working in Ayia Napa, bro. Oh my God. I had to go to the docs fam. That was mad. - Oh, mad. - Oh, you did do work in Ayia Napa 'cause you were so dehydrated? - Yeah. - Really? - Dehydration, yeah. Seriously dehydrated. - They put you on IV? - No, no, I was on, in fact, I think I was on antibiotics for something. - Oh God. - Yeah. - Something else unrelated?

I was on antibiotics because I remember I was going to the doctor, this girl that I was seeing at the time took me to the doc at the time. But yeah, obviously I had to get my water up, up. But yeah, I was on antibiotics for just a week course whilst I was out there. Yeah, that was nuts. And your pipe wasn't working? Only time ever happened to me in my life. Sorry, G, that's rough. That was crazy. That is rough. Found out the hard way as well. No pun intended.

- Damn. - Yeah. - Pretended? - No pun intended. - Oh, no pun intended. I thought you said, "And I pretended." - I couldn't pretend. - What? - It was peak. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Sorry, G. - Yeah. - Sorry. - Fight out the hard way is tough. - One of those things. - Cool. - All right, run it. - You're up. - Oh, what toxic advice would you give a younger self? Swing on people at the first sign of disrespect. - Interesting. - Very. - That's terrible advice. - That is terrible. - Yeah, it's toxic, isn't it? - That's terrible advice. - Toxic advice, yeah. - All right, cool.

October 2023 Leave it in We can't lose her Yeah yeah October 2023 Leave it in We can't lose her Fuck This reminds me of the I can't remember if we played it on Reacts or something Where you were saying how If If Mandem trapped women more Women trapped Mandem more Do you remember? Yeah I remember It must have been Reacts Yeah Yeah yeah yeah I remember Shit like that is like

I think it was, wasn't it Cardi B ting? - Yeah, Offset Cardi B, yes, yes, yes. - Offset tweeted like I won 'cause you got my uterus and shit like that. - Yeah, something like that, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, crazy, crazy. - Jesus Christ. - All right, what toxic advice would you give your younger self? Have his best friend's number just in case. - Oh my God. - Just in case. - Y'all know that if you're paying enough,

You have the ability to rock most friendships. Most friendships, most relationships. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I couldn't, you man are sacred, but my younger self couldn't receive certain texts from my brethren's girl. Keep it harsh. Keep it harsh, but I want you. Don't tell him. I couldn't pull up. I'll be scared. Because it'll be a trap. Yeah, of course it's a trap. It's a trap. It's a trap, bro. But I'm gassed. Would you tell me?

- If it's not me, I'm not said victim. - Oh, you're just my boy? - I'm just your boy. - And it happened to- - It's one of our boys. - One of the inner circle? - Yeah. Would you tell me? - One of these man's gal messaged me on a keep it harsh, I want you. - Yeah, I want that. I've heard you're slanging. - Yeah. - On a referral ting. - That's insane. - Would I tell you?

I would, but not right away. I'll tell you, we'd be three shots in at a party. Okay, okay. And I'll be like, I have to tell you something. Have we been here too long? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I'll just show you the screenshot. And then you'd look at it and you've got that. I'll double take. Yeah, and then you'd be like, and you'd look away and you'd be like, hang on. And then you'd snatch my phone and be like, fam!

- Yeah. - Yeah. - Fuck. - Yeah. And I'll say, "I don't know what to do." And you'll say, "There's nothing you can do." - Or is there? - Stop. - Okay, okay, okay. - Yeah, chill. - I'm joking, I'm joking. It's never gonna happen. It's never gonna happen. - All right, next one. What talkers advice would you give your younger self?

Cheat on everything but your relationship. Cheat on your exams, your resume, your taxes, your friendships, tickets, everything. - Fuck, fair. - Literally fair. - Fair. They said everything but. - Yeah, everything but. - Fair, fair, fair, fair, fair. Toxic advice you'd give your younger self. The more you swallow, the better it tastes. - The more you swallow, the better it tastes. Is that on God? - She said what she said. - I wonder if that's fact. I doubt it. And what's also more?

- I mean more frequency. - Oh, maybe. - Well you thought you meant in like one helping? - Yeah. - In one sitting? - It can't be in one sitting. 'Cause I've got all, it's always 100%. - Yeah, I think it's just frequency. - Yeah, frequency. All right, fair play. Fair play. All right, this one. Oh, this one's out of order. "Tokyo's advice you would give your younger self, "these men forgive cheating. "Just make sure he doesn't tell his boys. "It's a horrible truth.

- It's a horrible truth. Also, you better fucking tell me. - Oh yeah. - Oh rags. - When she cheats on you. - Yeah. - Rags bro. - I'm just saying. - Okay, okay, okay. - She's gonna try and tell you, don't tell your boys. They don't need to know because she wants to keep you. 'Cause she knows if you don't tell us, you'll forgive her. Tell us. - Facts, we need the accountability. - Yeah, we do. - Yeah. 'Cause we're not seeing straight. We're really not seeing straight. - Love will make you see round corners.

Love will make you see round bends, bro. What toxic advice would you give your younger self? Don't provide that girl with a shoulder to cry on. She won't like you. That's necessary. That's necessary advice. It's not even toxic. It's just helpful. It's helpful. Yeah. Right. Next one. Straight to the point. Eat more ass. Okay. Eat more ass. Was that male or female? I can't remember. Probably a male.

- Okay. - But either or. - Yeah. - Okay. - Have I ate ass? - Have I ate ass? - Yeah. - Hell yeah, I've ate ass, bro. - I never don't. - Would you? - No. - Why? - Well, 'cause dude amount? - Yeah, just not. - Yeah, but it's fresh out the shower. - It's not something that attracts me. - It has to be fresh out the shower, Jame. - Fresh out the shower, you know, he's bitter. - But it's still, unless he's bleached it.

- It's not clean. Do you know what I mean? - What do you mean bro? Why is it not clean? - Like there's probably still like is- - What particles? - Yeah. - She just come out of the shower bro. - She just fresh out of the shower bro. - It's still lingering. - What she scrubbed at. - Nah man. - This is what washing is about. What do you mean it's lingering? - I think you'd have to bleach it to clean it. - That doesn't make sense. - I think a shower couldn't clean the whole thing. - But that's like saying,

A doctor who's just come out of surgery shouldn't go back into surgery with a bleach in their hands because they've still got the shit from the last surgery. That don't make sense. They washed it. It's clean. I just... So with that analogy, you're saying once you've gone in the shower, when you step out, you're still dirty. Yeah. Because even though you rubbed your body, scrubbed your body, you're still dirty. Nah, I just think like...

- You can't get in it, can you? - Yeah, but it's not about that. - You don't need to get in it. - You don't need to get in it, bro. It's just the outer layer. - You do. - You don't. - No, I don't get in there. - Oh, okay. It's just the outside. - Yeah, unless I'm feeling crazy. - You ingest us and lick it. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I don't ingest it. - Oh, so you don't go like in. - Feeling crazy is fact. - Yeah, it is fact. That's what I'm saying. Never say never. Like, bro.

- I have gone, I'm not gonna say I've never gone crazy. I've been known to go crazy. But most time you're just, yeah. Wax on wax off bro. - Wax on wax off. - It's the Yagi type. - Okay, if it's the outside it makes more sense. I thought people just go in. - Nah, externe, anus, nah. - Externe. - Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. - Anus. - Yeah, try it man.

- I'll report back next week. - Next week? You don't waste any time. I like that. - Let's go with this. - All right, last one from me. What toxic advice would you give your younger self? Masturbate as much as you want, just hide it better. - I don't think I can co-sign that one. - Why? - Because masturbation is a disease sometimes. - Agreed. - Boredom and idle hands, disease. - Agreed. - Every man has been there.

It's a disease, bro. - It's so demoralizing. It's so, I don't even know the worst. There's more cons than pros. I think that's the best way to talk about it. In my opinion, there's more cons than pros. - The aftermath, yeah. - Exactly. - Yeah. - It ruins your dignity and your motivation. - Oh, that motivation, I just want to kip for the rest of the day. - Yeah, facts, bro. - I just want to watch Adventure Time and- - Let me just die in it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- God masturbation is horrible bro. All right, last one from me. Talkers advice you would give your younger self. Sex with a crazy chick is fucking amazing. - Is that toxic? - Oh, you're talking about like tapped or they're talking about tapped. - Oh yeah, not freaky. - Okay, cool, cool, cool. - Yeah, like tapped. - Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to think, have I experienced such? No, but I can see where they're coming from to an extent. I can see where they're coming from. - Everyone can see where they're coming from. - Yeah.

Don't do it. Yeah, yeah. I've not done it before. I don't plan on doing it. But yeah, I see where they're coming from.

- Cool, man. - Anyway, guys. - Anyway, guys, we're in. - We're back. - So guys, real quick. - Yeah. - We have this amazing show. - We do. - On Patreon, it's called The Log Cabin. - It is. - You may be thinking today, "Ah, Jason Fier's face, they look glossy. It looks glistening." - Healthy. - Yeah. We had a pamper day. - We did. - Your daddies went on a little bay day yesterday and got pampered up and felt good about ourselves and rekindled something we haven't had kindled in a minute.

And that episode is on the log cabin It is It's coming out on the log cabin Head on over to patreon.com Forza Shits and Gigs Immediately Contribute a tender Rony £3 a month 10p a day Run the P To S&G And let your daddies take it from there We shall Right Fuhat Talk to me I have something I want to try on you Pause Try on me Oh yeah

- All right. - Right, so we've done try not to laugh. - Okay. - I have a new segment today. - Okay. - Which is try not to blush. - Okay. - So I'm gonna chirps you. I'm gonna chirps you. - Okay. - And see if you can see composed. - All right. - Yes. - All right. - Right. - All right, let me, hold on. - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

So this is from some thespians I found online, some poets. Okay. So just a couple bars. I've got one, two, three, four, five. We'll see if we can get through it, right? Try not to blush. That's hilarious. Yeah, try not to blush. All right. Do I have to look at you? I'd prefer if you did. You got the angles? Yeah, we've got the angles. Yeah? Cool. I'm going to end the blushing myself. First things first. Have you heard? James. Desire didn't exist until I laid eyes on you.

Desire didn't exist. That's strong. I'm not blushing, but that's strong. That's a strong bar. Wow. When you actually deep it, that's a strong bar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Desire, I might use that. Yeah, fuck. Desire didn't exist until I laid eyes on you. Hunger didn't exist until I saw that apple. Mmm. Cool. When people ask me what my favorite song is, I say your laughter and your smile, the perfect album are. Okay. Yeah. That's...

- That's a strong bar. - That's a strong bar. - That's a strong bar. You have to be confident with that one though, 'cause that's a part one and part two. - Yeah, you have to let the part one sit. And you have to be willing to sit in the silence. - Yes. - 'Cause I hit you with part two. - 'Cause she doesn't smile. It's long, you can't finish it off. But yeah, strong, fair play, fair play. - Next. - Fyod. - Fyod? - Yeah.

What's this eyebrow raise chat, bro? What are you doing? I'm trying to spit game. Okay, alright, bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye. I will give anything to be the air that inhabits you for just a moment only. Okay. Mm-hmm. Okay. Mm-hmm. Okay. Mm-hmm. That's literature. Yeah, fam? It is. Okay. If the day ever comes that you die, I will envy the earth that wraps your body. Mm-hmm.

Mmm. Nigga, spit. It's cold. It's cold. It's cold. It's cold. It's cold. Okay, okay. That's cold. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cold. Fuck, that's cold. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, last one. Ready? All right, lock it, lock it, lock it, lock it. If you had, I would never give this up. I would never give this up. Not even for every season to be spring. Not even for every season to be spring. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Yeah. - That's new buds. Every day? - Okay. Okay, that's a bar. Where you getting this from? - Don't worry about that bro. - That's a bar. - Yeah, it's a bar fam. - Fuck. Okay, yeah man, that's literature. Okay. I think, I don't think I blushed at all, but- - I saw one, I'm not gonna lie. - You saw one blush, where did I blush? - Your cheeks didn't rose, but you did a smile that only showed these three teeth. That's a blush.

- I can't wait for this. That's a blush. That's a blush if I've ever seen one. - That's hilarious. - Yeah bro, it was tight lip but just showed these three. It's a blush. - Okay, cool, cool, cool. - All right, we'll check the VR. - Yeah, I'm gonna put a replay on. - Fuck's sake. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, gang. That's hilarious. Cool, right, you got a dilemma for us now. - I do. I'm linking with a college professor for money. She likes fat guys and I am one. - Yeah.

She's not my professor, so we're not breaking any professional taboos. We're discreet, but she has a weird sexual fetish that interferes with my manhood. She plays with my chest fat.

"Texting, can I play with your fat titties tonight?" - Nah! Nah! - Texting, "Can I play with your fat titties tonight?" is not something a woman should say to a man. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yes, I have a fat chest, but I'm still a man. - And it's just gone. - And I don't appreciate it.

Yeah. I told her this. I told her this. She responded by buying me a specialty bra for my birthday. I was this close to leaving her alone. But she said if I wore the bra in bed, she'd pay my rent. I wore the bra. Facts. She removed the fabric, then covered my nipples, and she played with my fat tees. I hate this so much. But I'm poor and fat, and she pays for my time.

How do I make her stop this humiliation ritual? Advice. This is a paid advertisement from BetterHelp. Right. I'm going to very, very, very quickly give a thank you to someone who's incredibly important to me, to us, to everyone. And that is Remski Delikremski. Okay. He let us know recently that he has started therapy. He did. And he's keeping the accountability train going for all of us. Factual. And it stops me from hiding in the shadows and...

not doing the things I need to do to be the best version of myself. - Okay. - So Rem, thank you very much, sir. - Thank you, sir. - Appreciate you. This month is all about gratitude, guys.

And along with the person I just shouted out, there's another person we don't get to thank enough. Ourselves. I agree. It's sometimes hard to remind ourselves that we are trying our best to make sense of everything. And in this crazy world, that is not easy. So guys, here's a reminder to send some thanks to the people in your life, including yourself. With over 5,000 therapists in the UK already, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a wide variety of expertise in mental health.

Let the gratitude flow with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash gigs pod today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash gigs pod. Wow. That's not something a woman should say to a man. Can I play with your fat titties tonight?

- Bro. - That's insane. - Yeah, that's horrible. - How, if you are said fat guy and a woman is lusting over you, but her fetish is fat titties, like she wants to be- - She just texted me fat abuse. - She's just fat abuse, but it's a kink. It's not- - She's not bullying me. - As a person, she likes you deep down. - Yeah, she wants this. - But she can't help. It's like you've seen the perfect cheeks.

The face you make is the face she makes. - Yeah. - When she sees your titties, bro. - And I'm saying, let me play with that tonight. She's like, it's not all about fat ass. - It's not. - I'm a human. - But I can't help it. - Yeah, and I'm like, I'll pay the fucking rent. Give me those cheeks. - I'll pay the rent. - Yeah. - She's like, all right. - She's like, fuck sake. - Yeah, and you can do whatever you want to them cheeks. Whatever you want. - Okay. - That's how she's gonna manhandle you. - Yeah. Hmm.

- Are you letting it slide? Is she paying your rent? - Yeah, she can pay my rent. I'm broke. She offers to pay my rent. - Yeah, you're broken your wedge. - That's my biggest expense. - Fair, 'cause you're not paying for anything. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's just food and rent. So I'd let her do it, but I'd be fucking humiliated. - Would you tell anyone? - No, oh God, no. But I would tell her, I would, it depends how important is my cock to her. - It's up there.

- Is she satisfied just titting me up? - No, no, no, no. - She needs to fuck. - It's her kink, but it's not the only thing she wants from you. She has to fuck you as well. - Okay, cool. - Because she does like bigger guys. - Well, I'll tell her like, I'm not this, I'll tell her I'm down, but like, this is not what turns me on. So I'm down to do it until I can't get hard anymore. - Okay. - Until you're just there playing with my tits and I'm soft as soft can be, that day ends then. I'm not coming back after that.

well she doubles that rent money then yeah then you're going back yes

- Titties comes first. - She's paying rent and then some? - And then some. She's not touching your tool first. Like it's good. It's a good 15 minutes titty play. - My nipples are sensitive by the way. So I wouldn't last 15 minutes of titty play. - 15 minutes of soul titty play. - Nah, I wouldn't last. - She puts tassels on them bitches. - Okay stop. No, no, no, no, no. Okay, now you actually are humiliating me. - But this is what she likes. - I don't care. - This is what she likes. - That's not funny.

I'm not the one. Tassels on my tits and says spin it. Spin for me, daddy. No. Because I'm not daddy though, am I? To her you are. I'm your little play team. To her you are. And when I say you nut, James. No, I don't. But I'm telling you I don't nut. No, no, no. I'm telling you I don't nut. I'm telling you. Because I've got tassels on my tits. But I'm telling you, after those 15 minutes, she gives you everything. No, bro. No. It doesn't matter. All right, bro.

That's like me saying to you, a woman that scratches at your face for 15 minutes straight and then gives you anal, like what? You don't want it. You want to go home. - I'd call someone. - Like after a while, it doesn't matter. She gives me anything. I'm humiliated. - Fair, fair. - And you? - I'd let her do it for sure. But I don't know how long I'll last in terms of like the longevity of this kick. Not per session, but like,

Is this three times a week? Am I gonna go three times a week type of thing? - I'm not going three times a week. It has to be once a fortnight tops. - Yeah, but you're not banging anyone, Jame. Let's be real. Let's actually not be coy with anyone in this room. - Okay, but still bro, I promise you I'd rather fap. I would rather stay home and beat my meat, then go home and then go to house and be abused for rent money.

15 minutes straight titty play. She's buying bras for man. - Soft as well. - I don't care. I don't care. No. - Tells you dance for me. - No. - Peter Griffin. - Oh no, I could have the most pristine physique going. A woman's not saying dance for me. No, I'm a human being bro, what is this?

all right bro fair fair fair fair yeah but that's the worst thing i've ever that is that is that is terrible there's not really much advice because i feel like it's one of those ones where you're stuck between a rock and a hard place like you need that rent money paid she's also satisfying your sexual needs but she's murking you off mentally i'd have to i would have to the only way i'm getting through it is if i prioritize it as a job because there were jobs that i had there's jobs that i've had in the past where if someone said

If you could make more money than what you're making now, being someone's little tit plating. Yeah. So it's this or that. I would choose that. Okay. Okay. I would hate it. Yeah. Facts. Okay, cool. Right. You said you got a question for the team. I do have a question for the team. This also applies to two of you. I'll edit or I'll adjust the question for you. Okay, cool. What plays a bigger role in your life right now out of these three things?

So for you and for James and Rem, music, training or gaming. For Ellis, music, editing, gaming. Why can't Ellis also have training? Because I feel like training wouldn't be as high as the energy for him. I know what you mean. So I think it would be one or the other for him. But editing is a big part of his life. Training, gaming or music? Music. Oh my days, bro. That's all I do. Number one.

- Out of those three, which has the bigger role, the biggest role? - Training, gaming. - Is role synonymous to impact? - Just how, yes, like how it makes you feel the, just how, yeah, how it makes you feel the impact of it, yeah. - Right now, for me personally, I actually think, which is actually gonna help me for today, I think training is number one. - Okay, why?

because gaming is whatever. I like it, but I don't need it. Music, I haven't heard enough new music that's got me excited recently. Music for me is few and far between at the minute in terms of like, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Where I'm actually in like a renaissance of training right now. Where like every day I'm going in there, I'm going, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. I'm pushing more, I'm feeling better. I'm opting to just do cardio and shit. Like I'm thinking about like, oh,

my hamstrings been bothering me. It's like making it harder to do X, Y, and Z. Like maybe I should get that looked at. And I'm thinking about like my shoulder health or my back health and all these things that can just make me train better. I'm not putting that much effort into anything else in my life. So right now I'm training for sure. - Ellis? - Definitely editing. - Okay. - Yeah, it'd have to be man. That's all I do.

To be fair, I want gaming to come up more though. I need to make more time for gaming. Especially since this new COD, I've actually been gaming a bit more, which has been good. Because I miss it, man. I don't make enough time for it anymore. It's nice, bro. I really don't make time for it and I need to. So I think I need to set, if it's just weekends or whatever, I need to set more time for it. Because gaming is so fun. Rem? Has to be training for me. Yeah? Yeah, there's nothing else in my life

that has had the impact on me the way training has. - I'm not talking about your life, I'm talking about right now. 'Cause your life, okay. - Every day fam. - Fair, fair, fair, fair. - Up until today. - Fair. - The snowball effect that training has on me, when I just one, say one good session, one good session, lower body, whatever. The amount of things that

I then feel that I I need to do to support that one good session outside of the gym also is is just crazy there's nothing else yeah then I'm I'm convinced okay well to make sure I've not put that training session to waste I now need to eat better okay now I need to make sure I get my water my water intake in okay cool now I need to maintain the momentum and then run it back go again the next the next day the next I don't know couple days whatever um

and just the trigger of maintenance of being on such a high, nothing else. - I hear that completely. - Nothing else compares with that. - I hear that. Are you guys disappointed with the other two that it's not as high? That it doesn't have like a bigger impact in your life at the moment? I.e. musical gaming or editing and gaming for you, Ellis? - Not disappointed. - Not necessarily disappointed. Disappointed is a harsh word to use, but more so would you want to raise any of them higher?

- Nah. - Any of the other options rather? - I'd be disappointed if either of those was higher than training for me right now. If I cared more about music than I did my body, like what am I doing? - Fair. - Fair. - Yeah, I think editing needs to stay top for a while now. For a few years. 'Cause I wanna get better. So yeah. - My brother. - Fair play. - Yeah. - Well music for me. - Sorry, go on. - I was gonna say, music for me and gaming,

and training all have their own parts to play with mental health for me. Training most because that is investment in my own body. But obviously streaming now, like I'm having a lot of fun doing that. So that is gaming, of course. Music, I listen to music every day. There's not one day that I don't listen to music. And if I can't find, if there's not any new music that I'm feeling, then I will just play.

re-up on Sutton and I do go through droughts we all do whatever and then something will just someone will drop Sutton Tyler's new album dropped yesterday I randomly found Black Odyssey's new album that dropped I think in April this year I didn't stop listening to that so it's always moments like that where I think to myself okay well it was

I've been going through a drought, but that's down to my, like, ability to search for something. Because, like I said, that Black Odyssey album's been out since April. We're in October. So, yeah, mental health-wise, I do stay the same. Training first. But, yeah, not to say that music and...

- So, music and gaming aren't up there as well. - Fair play, man. Fair play. I would agree. I would also say training has played a better role, a more important role in my life right now than gaming as well as music. I agree, I listen to music every day. I think everyone in this room does. Everyone that's listening probably does as well. But there are days where I've listened to music and I've not trained and my mental health is mid or low. There are days where I've trained

and listen to music and my mental health is higher. Like it's a much better place. So training, and like you said, once you train well, you're gonna have, you're gonna eat good, you're gonna drink good, you're gonna sleep good, and you're gonna repeat the cycle. So 100% training, especially with how we've been training over this past month or so. - Yeah. - It sets my week up, bro. - Same bro. - It sets my week up so perfectly and it's just bang, bang, bang. We have a busy Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,

busy in the studio busy in the gym good food good hydration and then yeah it just sets the rest of the week up so it makes me look i've been looking forward to my weekends now as opposed to just being like this is the week this is the i'm looking forward to my weekends because i get to like relax and you know so yeah man training for sure training for sure i've got a random question go on would you rather give up music or films and tv films and tv music for me

I'd give up music. Oh, it pains me though. I give up music in a heartbeat. Fuck. That pains me. I don't know. Music. I love music. Same. Do you watch films and series every single day? Yeah. Most days. I watch it every single day. I love it. Wow. Every single day I watch something. Fuck. That's a tough one for me. I would say film on TV has had much more of an impact on my life.

and like even like who i am as a person then music fair i get that it's pretty even for me man because you you you all know that i've seen me in like a club and stuff or like when i'm like when i'm married and i'm listening to music and i'm out you know you know what it does to me i hear it you even know what it does to me um but also like filming i don't know i think

flip of a coin, whichever one it lands on, I have to just firm because I think I love those people. - Fair. - I'll have to firm, I'll be livid, but I have to firm it. - Fair enough. - Do you think you'd be more depressed if you could never ever watch anything ever again or never hear music ever again? - Probably watch because of the longevity of it. Like every song is between three and five minutes or whatever, six minutes is like, yes,

I would probably be repeating the songs that I like over and over and over again whereas if I'm watching a movie or show like this is good 30 minutes 45 minutes an hour of quality tv you know so I would probably be more depressed if I can't watch anything again

So I guess that's my answer then. I'd give up music. - Fair. - I guess that's also the question. I'll be livid. - Oh, facts. - Don't get me wrong, I'd be so pissed off. - I'll be driving home bored. - In silence, bro. - Bored. - What's your commute time? - An hour. - Of looking out the window. - Yeah, bro. - Just doing nothing. - I'll be bored, bro. - Same as sitting in your living room looking out the window. - Fair. - Yeah. - Fair. - You've never blasted music in your living room before.

- Yeah, but not every day for hours and hours and hours. - Thank you. But don't make it like you can't do the same. - No, you can't bro, you can't. I can't just sit on my sofa and listen to music every day. - I can't, I can sit on my sofa and watch TV every day. - Yeah, yeah, that's what I do. - And I love it. - Yeah, same. Good question bro. - Yeah, very good. Right, tweets? - Tweets of the week. Ain't done these in a minute. Right guys, tweets of the week. And I'm just gonna roll them off. Been farting anywhere lately, I don't care anymore.

Farting. Farting anywhere. Anywhere. I just don't care anymore. Damn. Tweet and a quote tweet. Behind a great woman, there's always low iron and stomach problems. Tell me about it. Quote tweet. And visually impaired. Bro. What is it with these men? And they hate water. Baddies hate water, bruv. Always headaches. Next one.

Hearing a guy moan really do turn that hoe up in you. Would you class yourself as a moaner, sir? - Nah, I'm a speaker. I don't moan. I'm not like, "Ugh." But I'll say some stuff. - Not even like a, "Oh, fuck." - Yeah, I say, "Fuck." - Yes, that's a moan. - Is that a moan? - I would class that as a moan. - That's what I mean by I'm a speaker. Yeah, I'll give it like, "Fuck." - Yeah, that's a moan. - Fuck. Yeah, that's my bag. - As long as you do the "Ah." - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Whatever comes after "Ah" is still a moan. In my books, that's a moan.

- Fuck. - Yeah, that's me. - Yeah, try it without saying fuck. Try what you do without saying the fuck part of it. - Nah, because you need the fuck, otherwise I'm moaning. Exactly. - It's part of the moan, right? - Nah, it's not part of the moan. - All right, next one. Tweet and a quote tweet. "A bitch will lay in bed with you in another guy's shirt from three relationships ago." - Facts. - Quote tweet. "And his boxers too." - Yeah.

But don't let me see that jiggle about it in boxes. Cause I'll see, I don't get who's they are. Yeah. I don't get who's they are. Yeah. Damn man. Play with that. Yeah. What's that about? Give his t-shirt back. Don't bring that around here. They're never giving it back. But they're also, it's one of them ones where,

- There's no reason for a guy to question a girl for having, for example, like an oversized tee in the yard. You're never gonna ask the question. - You're never gonna ask the question, but you know she didn't buy it. - Exactly. - What day did you buy that? Where did you buy that from? - You just have to take it. - You just firm it, but we don't concern ourselves with those kind of problems. 'Cause I'm in bed with the love of my life. Why am I asking you where you got your shirt from? - The peaks are soft. - Yeah, this is love. What are we talking about? - So soft. - It smells like vanilla in here. - Oh, essence.

- I'm asking about t-shirts. - Yeah, your priorities aren't straight. - Yeah, facts. - All right, next one, it's a conversation. "Hi," reply. "Send dudes." You mean nudes? "I'm in a fight, I need more men." - That's funny, okay, well played. - Next one. - That's funny. - "That first little lick of pussy with the piss on it be like a shot of Henny." - That's disgusting! That's sick!

- Yo, what's wrong with you? That's disgusting. Oh my God. - Like a shot of Henny. - Yeah. - That's insane. That's insane. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - All right. I used to think it was all fun and games to fuck niggas bitches until my bitch got fucked and it wasn't fun nor was that shit a game. Damn, son. - Yeah. - That's that karma, boy. - Yeah. - All right, again, tweet, quote, tweet. Maturing is realizing that Rose was a whore. Titanic.

- Titanic. - Yeah. - Quote tweet, she got married with kids and still spent decades thinking about some nigga she fucked over the weekend. - Indeed. And she still let him drown. I don't care what anyone says, there was room on that door, bro. - There was room on that door. - There was bare room on the door. - Even like a young alternation. - Yeah, yeah. Tag in, tag out type thing. - Bare space on the door. - He didn't have to go, bro. - He really didn't. This is a text, text chain. Good morning. You got a man? Reply. I've got a few.

Reply. Add me to the list. That's some real shit you just said. What are you saying if she says she got a few? I'd probably say the same thing. Yeah? I wouldn't say that's some real shit you just said. Yeah, I wouldn't say that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd probably say, I'd probably say fair. Yeah, I would say fair. Fair fucking play.

- Is it a ranking order system? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Do you need to see my CV? - What position am I in? - Yeah, yeah, also, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where do I rank in the man system? - Yeah, 'cause I need to be top three minimum. - Yeah, 100%. - 'Cause I wanna be hollered free. - Yeah, I'll probably say to no me, I'll probably sit on it for a while, pause, and be like, cool.

If I apply, am I gonna make the top three? - 'Cause you're bad. - Yeah, you're lame. - You're all bad. - You're just all lame. - So, and you said some real shit. - I remember on Fresh Prince, do you remember on Fresh Prince where he had a ting, he was dealing with a ting who was, I'm pretty sure. - There isn't a ting he hasn't dealt with that wasn't fire on that show. - Yeah, but. - That wasn't fire on that show. - Very true. - Jesus Christ. - I have a feeling it was Stacey Dash. I have a feeling it was Stacey Dash who was playing a pop star

Stacey Dash was my crush when I was nine years old, by the way. In Clueless? You, man. You, man.

Stacey fucking Dash, bro. Oh my God. I have a feeling it was Stacey Dash. I might be wrong though. No, there was another. It might have been Stacey. There's another chick. It's that one. Top right. Right, right, right. The bunny boiler. Yeah. Yeah. The homewrecker. Whatever her name is. Yeah. Her? Yeah. In Fresh Prince? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Homewrecker. Kryptonite, bro. Yeah. Lisa's brethren, right? Yeah. She had sex appeal. Yeah, she did. She wanted him. She wanted him.

Good Lord. But yeah, there was one of his tings in Fresh Prince. I feel like it was Stacey Dash. I could be wrong. Stacey Dash.

She was like a singer and she was bringing around like that life. - It wasn't Nia Long, you sure? - I don't think it was Nia Long. - Wouldn't have been. - I'm just throwing out names that were in the show. - No, who was Lisa? Nia Long, right? - Oh, Lisa was Nia Long. - Yeah, I was gonna say. Lisa's Nia Long, right? - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry, sorry. You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. - This was a fling ting he had. And she brought him to a basketball game and her next man was there and she lipsed him. And we was like, "Wow, Guan." - That picture in the black top left. - Yeah, crazy.

And Will was like, what's all this? And she was like, come on, bro. You know what it is. You know what time is. Yeah, you're man number four. And if you can't hack it. Step. Step. But I hope you can because I like you a lot. And he was like, I don't think I can handle this because I love you. I don't think I can handle this. But he was contemplating, bro. So would I. Oh, facts. Because the energy she's exuding. God, she's fine.

Yeah, bro. God, Fresh Prince. I love that show so much. He was in his Will Smith bag in that era was untouchable. Literally untouchable. Untouchable. Wow. He was in his bag. Yeah, bro. Yeah. When you hit upon a star episode 17. Come on now. I knew it. Stacey Dash. Yes, bro. Yes, bro. Episode. Okay. Oh, man.

And when he was with Tyra Banks as well, bro! What was her name on that show? - Who didn't he have? I don't know. I actually don't remember Tyra Banks' name on the show. - It was his bread room, right? And she worked at the, at uni, she worked at the cafe or whatever. - Oh yeah. - Or the gift store. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - And they grew up together or something. - Ranking all Will Smith's girlfriends, let's go. - Oh, okay. We're ranking Fresh Fruit's girlfriends. Nia Long has to, Lisa was number one. - Let's zoom in a smidge, please. A smidge. Just for me, yeah. - Oh, bro, that crop sweater? Mental.

- Mm-hmm. - All right. - Yeah, Lisa's number one. Tyra Banks was up there, bro. Jackie, that's it. Okay, cool, yeah. Ooh! - What about her? - Oh, where he fasted the mom and the daughter. I remember this one. Yeah, that was a, yeah. Uncle Phil's ex-girlfriend, she and Will hit it off until Will was seduced by the mother. Yes, bro! God, what he lived a life. - He did. - Oh, I remember her, yeah, Sandra. - What about her? - Okay, yeah, cool, baddie.

i don't remember what she did huh yep cindy norris yeah yeah cindy on high ruining everything just the way the aura my face is something else man ah

I don't remember this one. I don't remember this one. Season three. It was a breathing coach and the two hit off in Lamar's class. Fair. I don't remember her. Okay. I don't remember her either. I remember Jay from My Fin Kids was his girl at one point. Early season. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Samantha. I don't remember her either. Samantha. Who did she play? Season four, when in his day, Samantha got on a double date with Ashley and her new boyfriend. When Ashley and her guy take off, Will becomes very overprotective of Ashley and ruins everything.

- Don't remember that one. - Don't remember that one either. - Next. - Mimi. - I do remember this episode. - Was it like homecoming or some shit? - Something like that, but I don't remember. - Mimi season one. I'm trying to remember if I've seen that movie, but it's an impressive father, but he would take her on a date. I could feel Carl and Jeffrey do their best to teach her how to be a gentleman. - Oh yes. - My Fair Lady is inspiration. Okay, cool. - Yes. - Oh, Queen Latifah. - Fucking hell. - Wow. - Forgot about that one. - Yeah, Marissa Redman. All right, skip. - Cool, next. - Jesus. - Naomi Campbell.

- Naomi Campbell. - Kiss my brother when I was getting blind date ashes from Helen played by the gorgeous Naomi Campbell. - Helen is exactly his type. Oh, I do remember this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn. I'm pretty sure he must've just curated these. - He had to have. - He must've, 'cause this is sus. How has he just got every Lengers ting there is? Kayla, I remember. I remember. - You can tell she's looking at me. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Love at first sight, yep. Yeah, I remember this. Jesus Christ. Oh, yep. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Vivica Fox was sighting elves. Forgot about her. Jesus Christ. Mm-hmm.

- Stacey Dash. - Yes! Stacey, my fave. She's a celebrity superstar. Michelle Michaels in season four. Will miss Michelle when she shows up at college campus for a tour. Two of them date, but their relationship is more of a fling for Michelle who is constantly in the spotlight, not ready to settle down. Will realizes that he'd rather have a more meaningful relationship with someone else than Michelle can give. Bro.

I remember that Like it was yesterday Damn Yeah bro Damn Stacey Dash Ah I remember this one The boxing thing Yeah I remember She thumps him up Yeah God damn it man We're on number 16 guys I was thinking How are there so many We're on number 16 I don't remember Where are these Where's Gyal Gyalis What was it The Chicktionary Mmm

This is the one. It wasn't Homegirl from earlier. - Oh, it wasn't Homegirl from earlier. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was this one. - This is Boonie Boiler. - Yeah, this is the one. Lisa's quote unquote friend who seduces Will. - She actually puts it on him, on him, right? - She comes to the party uninvited, no?

- I remember. - And forces him and says, "Oh, you should give me a ride home," all this. And Lisa's like, "Yeah, give her a ride home." - And she sticks it on him. - Sticks it on him. - I'm sure he's got a girlfriend during this period or no? - Yeah, Lisa's his girl. - Lisa's his girl at the time. - Sticks it on him. - Oh.

Yeah that one was crazy Baddie Oh yeah Tisha Campbell Yeah Tisha Campbell Yeah that's where They have like a blackout Or something He's stuck in the basement With her Oh swear Yeah Trapped in the basement Yeah Trapped in the basement Sitting on a bicycle Girl getting on my nerves Going out of my mind I thought she was fine Don't know if her body is hers I remember Because she's got fake nails And a wig I think Okay Yeah How I remember that song I don't know

That's the mom What What He's clean Will clean Wow Is that it Damn man he had a roster 20 Yeah Lisa's number one In my eyes And then it goes Stacey Dash Lisa Stacey Dash for sure

Yeah, Lisa Stacey Dashing and Robin for me. Robin did sighting to me. Yeah, I remember the episode. She did sighting to me. Her sex appeal is disgraceful. It was crazy. Fuck me. Yeah, man. Damn. Damn. Damn, indeed. I don't make up my dad anymore. J. Cole makes a bar about her, innit? Yeah. I couldn't remember. Saying about, I wish I was old enough. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

- Yeah, my only regret was too young for Nia Long. My only regret was too young for Lisa Benet. My only regret was too young for Nia Long, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - She shallow, but that pussy deep. - She shallow, she shallow, she shallow, but that pussy deep. - She shallow, she shallow, bro. - Pussy deep.

- Yeah, anyway, let's charge the episode right there and then. - Let's, let's, let's. - Thank you guys, we appreciate you. - Factual. - As always, catch us on patreon.com/shitsandgigs. It's a love, love, love. - Gang, gang, gang ting. - Bless you.

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