THINGS YOU CAN SAY AT DINNER & IN BED! | EP 387 | ShxtsNGigs Podcast
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LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. This episode is brought to you by Hulu. Hulu Anime Ahem is your animation destination to watch full seasons and new episodes of your favorite animated shows. Get ready to be bowled over, have your socks knocked off,

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Crapopolis, and so many more. That's right guys, if you're looking for your favorite animated shows, there's only one destination you need to remember. Hulu Anim Mayhem, your animation destination, now streaming on Hulu. The table would rise a little bit. The table would rise a little bit. What's Odell? Huh? What? Odell.

- What the fuck did you just say to me? - Doesn't he say, "I'm gonna take a bitch or a ordeal"? What's that? - Rodeo. - Or rodeo. - I thought you said ordeal. - Nah, take a bougie ass to rodeo. - What the fuck did you say to me? - Jesus. - Rodeo means rodeo drive.

- You know about Rodeo Drive? - No. - Is it like a Harrods? - It's a street. Keep this in the episode. - Okay. - I will, when we go to America, I will take your bougie ass to Rodeo and I'll let you pick up whatever you want. - Okay. - CC, Gucci, whatever you want. - Whatever I want. - You can piss me off. Yeah. You can piss me off. I said it first, you can piss me off and somehow you'll still get whatever you want, Ellis. And then I'm gonna hit it in the shower and make you tell me what you want.

- I was waiting for that. - But yeah, Rodeo Drive is like a very, very famous street with like all the designer shops and shit. - Where's that, LA? - LA. - LA, yeah. - Fair, I've never heard of it. - You've heard of it now, G? - I've heard of it now, G. I'm gonna go see it. I'm not joking though. - I'm down to go. - Obviously not whatever you want, but within reason. - Yeah, fair. - Budget? - What's the budget? - We'll talk about it off-cam. - Okay.

- I'm a guest! Let's go! - Fuck's sake. - Right. - Anyway, right? So we got question of the week. We do have question of the week guys. And the question of the week this week was something you can say during sex and at the dinner table. - Mm-hmm. - Careful, babe. I don't want you choking.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, sorry. I knew there was a disclaimer I needed to say before we got into this. Disclaim. It's going to be harder to stand up than it was to sit down at the end of this.

Because these responses are too saucy. Okay. Okay. Okay. They're too saucy, man. Okay. And I collated mine on my Uber from my hotel to here today. I was in my Uber. Just. Yeah. Like raw. Yeah. Yeah. And it's all girls that responded. All my responses are from girls. And I was like, that's crazy. That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. We like that. Yeah. Say less. Bro, yeah, it's nuts. Say that one again. Careful, babe. I don't want you choking. Yeah, that's crazy. What can you say during sex and at the dinner table? It's got a bit of sweetness to it. All from girls. Yeah. Yeah. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. It's got a bit of sweetness to it. It's got a bit of sweetness to it. That'll sound good to me. Something you say during sex and at the dinner table.

Bon appetit. Bon appetit. - Cool, something you can say during sex and at the dinner table. Thank you, daddy. - Yeah, move on. Move on, yeah, that's not well. - Yeah. That was so fucking delicious, but so messy. Can you hand me something to clean my mouth with? That's the winner right there. - That's different. - That's the winner right there. - I don't think I've ever put down my phone. - That's the winner right there. - Can you hand me something to wipe my mouth with?

- Who speaks, no one actually speaks like this. No one actually speaks. - It's all folklore, they're liars. They're liars bro. - 'Cause daddy's been around the block. - Daddy's taken laps around the block. - I've never heard stuff like that. - And it's been multiple languages. I ain't heard stuff like that. - Nah. Wow. - That's crazy. - All right, cool. What can you say during sex and at the dinner table? I'm gonna eat it all. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's mad because it's all actually too fast food. Obviously. Yeah. Yeah. I was gonna say it's all gobbles. Yeah. It works both ways. It does. It does. It does. Somebody can say during sex and at the dinner table, I want more, but I can't move. Are you sure this is healthy? Yeah. Yeah. Next one. Yeah. Don't you dare spit that out. Okay. Stop. Stop. Don't you dare spit that out. All right. Next one. This one actually was from a guy.

Lord, thank you for what I'm about to receive. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Grace. I'm going to say grace. Lord, thank you for what I'm about to receive. It's crazy. Yeah, it's nice. Yeah. It's nice. Yeah. Something you could say during sex and at the dinner table. That was nice, but I still prefer five guys. That one's fucking wild. That's barbaric. I still prefer five guys. Yeah.

They thought about that one. That's really good. Yeah. Yeah. Jesus. Straight into the point. I like it raw. Ceviche style. Yeah. Yeah. Ceviche. Say less. Does your sister want to join us? Stop speaking. It's one of them episodes. Right. What can you say to joysticks and at the dinner table? I'm so sorry. I'm a bit of a messy eater. I'd fall off my chair. I'd fall right off my chair.

and fall right off my chair. - I'm a bit of a messy eater. - Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm a bit of a messy eater. - That's what I like to hear. - Yeah, facts bro. That's one of them ones that like, that's something you'll see in a movie where like the POV of like the 13 year old boy and his older brothers just bought like a baddie home. - Yeah. - And she's just saying stuff.

- At the dinner table she's saying stuff. - And he can't comprehend. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - What's going on? - Yeah, yeah, and everyone's acting normal. - Yeah. - She's out here talking about, "So sorry, I'm a bit of a messy eater." - The table would rise a little bit. - The table would rise a little bit. - 13. - My bro, I wouldn't be able to control it. 'Cause Lord knows I'm in the shorts without the boxers anyway, 'cause I'm at yard. The table would rise a little bit. - Oh God.

- Oh shit. - Oh fuck. - Oh that's hurt, man, I'm sorry. My solar plexus broke. - It went. - Fuck. - Yeah, because also, yeah, when it rises, it wobbles back as fast as it wobbled forward. So everyone's glasses dropping. - And everyone knows where the starting point was from. Everyone knows where it came from. 'Cause it wobbled in one direction and it wobbled back. - And you have a broken eye contact.

You haven't broken that goddamn... No, fuck! Oh, my stomach! Oh, God, that was funny. All right, I've got a few more. Yeah, yeah. Something you can say during sex and at the dinner table. Yeah. Nuts never fail to put me in a good mood. Oh, dear. It just stopped getting funny. That's too naughty. Oh, look. You've got it all down you. It's dripping down your chin.

Yeah. Last one. Can we wrap this up? So that's a negative one. Can we wrap this up? Yeah. That's not kind. But yeah. Fair play. Question of the week. Fuhad. Thank you for that. I haven't laughed like that this year. And that's on God. That's jokes. I haven't laughed like that this year. And inshallah, it won't be the last.

- When you add a splash of Arabic once in a blue moon, I don't think you understand how funny that is. - Tell you what, inshallah, I won't be the last. Oh, someone's killing me.

- Fucking hell. - Okay. - That's funny. - All right guys, welcome back. - Welcome to your favorite show ever. - Yeah man, second best show on planet Earth. Oh God, we've got the awards to prove it. - We do. - It's not just hearsay anymore. - Facts, facts. - Guys, you may notice everyone's merged up today. - Merged up. - We've merged up. So thank you to everyone who,

capitalized on the first drop yes sir we have had a restock yes i'm pretty sure that's half done already nearly gone mate yeah but anyway guys links in the description always grab some merch um you can fit two baddies in this john you can that's a fact you can it's snuggly very it's real real good tight yeah and if you're thinking ah it's a bit warm over here i don't really want to get it it's like i'll wait for the next one it's like bro it's a good tester in it it's a good tester so get it

Put it in your yard, wear it around the yard, and let's see if your man is strong enough to confront you. True. Because can he feel it out? True. Can he feel it out? True. And if he can't, send him back. Because daddies can feel this out. Yeah, shots fired. Yeah, daddies can feel it out. Shots fired. So I'm hoping all your men can feel it out. Yeah, man. As you now know, we are coming to the US of A. Yes, sir. It's been a long time coming. It has been ages. We're super, super excited. Tickets are now on sale. So please...

Again, link in the description. We're coming everywhere. Pause. Unpause. Resume. Resume. Yeah, guys. We're coming everywhere. Daddies are coming home. Yep. Grab your tickets now. And yeah, it's going to be vibes. It's going to be an experience. So make sure you are there. For real, for real. It's going to be an experience. It's going to be vibe, vibe, vibes. I literally...

physically cannot wait. Same. It's very soon, guys. It's very, very soon. So yeah, make sure you grab your tickets and just don't miss out.

- 100%. Yeah, it's gonna be sick. There's gonna be meet and greets. There's gonna be like after parties probably. Shit's gonna get crazy. - It's gonna be vibes, man. - So yeah, enjoy. We'll see you there. - We shall. - As always guys, if you liked the episode and you want a little bit more, not too much more, just a little bit more, head on over to patreon.com/shitsandgigs. Please contribute a humble three pound amount. - 10p a day. - Run the pizza S&G and become an official baby. - Yes sir. - Become an official baby.

indoctrinate yourself into the cult, indoctrinate yourself into the log cabin lifestyle. If you wanna see super, super cool, super, super, super fun episodes and what your boys get up to when they're not sat in these two chairs, please sign up to the log cabin. It's a fantastic show. It topples governments and how popular it is. - It does. - And we have a fantastic time. If you are watching YouTube, please subscribe to the channel. If you're listening on any audio platform, please leave us a nice review. It means the world. Five stars is obviously preferable, but whatever you say, say it with your chest. And now back to regular viewership.

Fuhad and I have had our face off. - We have. - It was a bloodbath. - It was. - It was tasty. - For some. - Yeah, and then someone came out on top. Someone's a bottom boy and someone has to play the top role. - Moving on. - Moving on. Quizmaster's back in his seat. - I am. And I would like everyone to grab their whiteboards and grab their markers. If you don't already know how to play this game, I'm gonna say it one last time. I asked the Kidars

Key stage three questions, age is 11 to 14. It could be different subjects, maths, English, science, French, history, who knows? Best out of five. You pass the boards around afterwards, you mark it, and hopefully you guys play at home as well and also answer in the comments. Are you guys ready, steady? - We're going back to school! - We're going back to school, guys. Question number one. How did Adolf Hitler die? - Oh, God. Oh, so everyone just knows this.

Yeah. Yeah? Or do we? Or do we? Double bluff. Yeah, technically. Some people didn't think he... No, some people didn't think he died. Oh, right. People think he, like, escaped somewhere. Okay, cool. Depends on what you believe, man. Question two. Which planet is closest to Earth? That's a trick question. Which planet is closest to Earth?

Question three. What is 560 times zero? Question number four. Who painted the Mona Lisa? Locked. It's wrong, but... Question number five. How many sides does a heptagon have? Locked. How many sides does a heptagon have? We did it on the GK Bowie episode. Did we? Yeah, and I forgot. Question number one.

How did Adolf Hitler die? The answer is Suicide He shot himself Yeah Cool He took a cyanide pill I thought it was cyanide as well actually Yeah they poisoned Him and his wife took a cyanide pill together Together yeah They both died I thought it was that But

Suicide. - The answer I got, well, suicide. - Suicide regardless. - Perfect. - Suicide nonetheless. - I wrote shot himself. - The answer I have from umpire is shot himself. - Maybe it's a myth, but I thought it was a pill. Fair. - Let me do some recon myself now. - Okay, cool. - Fair. Doesn't really matter. - Matters to my answer.

So let's not do recon. - No, it's not. It doesn't matter to answer because everyone's still got suicide. - Iroh shot himself. - Yeah, but everyone's got, it's suicide, isn't it? That's the answer. - Okay, cool. That's the answer. - Yeah, yeah, suicide is the answer. - Dude, dude, dude, it's calm, it's calm, it's calm, it's calm. - Wikipedia says he shot himself. - Oh, fair, fair. - Oh no, his wife did cyanide. - And he shot himself? - He shot himself. - Oh, okay. - Question number two.

- Which planet is closest to earth? The answer is Venus. - I put Mars as well. - Everyone put Mars. - Everyone put Mars. - Everyone put Mars. - Yeah. - I don't hear anyone chatting about trying to go there if it's so fucking close. - True. - Well, Venus is, I think Mars is on the right side of us. Venus is on the left, so it's close to the sun, so no one can go to Venus. That's my assumption. I think Venus is first, maybe. - Second. - Probably, yeah. - No, I mean like when I say first, I mean before. - Oh, right, yeah. - Not after. - Yeah. - So it's close to the sun, so we can't go there. - Yeah, February too.

Yeah 28 What is 560 times 0? The answer is 0 Who painted the Mona Lisa? The answer is Leonardo da Vinci And last but not least How many sides does a heptagon have? The answer is 7 Oh boy I feel like we might have a tie break here I think there is Maybe I don't know Possibly

I feel like there are questions that may have gone right and questions that may not have gone right. So, James, what did Rem get? Three out of five. Ellis, what did James get? Three out of five. You do have a tie break. Rem, what did Ellis get? Three out of five. Oh, shit. I forgot too. Wait, what did I get? Three out of five. No, sorry. You did get four.

- Sorry, sorry, sorry. - What did you think you got wrong? - No, for some reason I crossed out three, which was zero. I don't know why I crossed it out. That's just a- - Oh, I see. - Yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry. - It's all good bro. That's fine. I was hoping for a bit more. - Yeah, so was I. - All good. - Rem's not me. - He's not me. - He psyched himself up. - I'm sorry. - Yeah, tie break was gonna be juicy as well. - Cool Rem, man. It's cool. One day.

- Are we even keeping score anymore? - There's no point. There's literally no point. - I think it's 10. - 10. - It might have to be a new season. - Yeah. - As the umpire slash quiz master. - I think, what month are we on? April now? - Yeah. - New court, new game. - New court, a new game. It's only fair guys, isn't it? Isn't it? I can't keep getting away with this. What was it last time? Top five? - Yeah.

Reignin' champ, top five Reignin' champ, back to school. - Hey, I'll see what my umpires say. - Maybe key stage two. Joking, joking, joking, joking, guys. That was a joke. - I'm gonna go key stage four. To test you, man. - Don't. - 'Cause it's too easy for you. So everyone, no offense, should just struggle together. And then we can really see what the bonus questions are saying. - Oh, okay. - Yeah, 'cause keys-- - I think key stage four is excessive. - I don't.

- I think it stops being a comedy podcast at Key Stage Four. - I think it stops when you've got 10 points. - I think it did stop. It stopped being funny. - Exactly. - It started being cruel. - So, I'd rather be cruel to everyone. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So that's funny in total. - Yeah. There's no point in me continuing to punch down. Do you know what I mean? It gets abusive. - Next segment. Let's not do this to our family in this space.

- Ellis is looking into a fist. - I'm playing guys, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm playing, I'm playing, I'm playing, I'm playing. - You got a recommendation. - So guys, I wanna talk about the thing that everyone else keeps talking about. A little show by the name of Baby Reindeer. My God, you man. So I was very just like, don't see this being good. I'm not gonna lie to you. I was thinking, I don't see this being good.

I heard it was about a guy. I heard it was a true story. I heard it was a guy talking about how he had a female stalker, et cetera, et cetera. I was like, eh, eh, eh. Don't really see it being that good. 100 on Rotten Tomatoes. Oh, bro. If you could get 101%, this show would be 101%. Wow. Bro, for context, the main character is a guy called Donnie.

Donnie is played by an actor called Richard Gad. The story is also written by Richard Gad because

It actually happened to Richard Gad. So he just coincidentally happens to also be an actor and acted as himself in this role. So he plays himself in this role, in this story that actually happened. So when I first heard, oh, the main actor actually plays himself, I thought it was like a, in my head, I had like a reenactment documentary starting and he's just playing, he just feels comfortable playing himself. And I was like, it doesn't sound cool. No, bro. He acts his tits off. Mm-hmm.

So here's the story in a nutshell, right? So here's what actually happened. So Donnie is like a struggling comedian. Yeah. Struggling stand-up comedian who works in a pub, right? And he's been through stuff, but you don't find that out straight away. So he's just pouring pints in the club and Martha walks in. Martha is just like, she looks depressed as fuck when she walks in. And immediately he turns to her and says, oh, what can I get you? She's like, nothing. I can't afford shit.

And he's like, can I just get you a cup of tea? She's like, big man, can't afford nothing. So he's like, literally, I'll give you a cup of tea in the house. Her face lights up. She's like, what? He's like, it's calm. I'll get you a cup of tea in the house. Immediately, she's like, oh my God, thanks, cool, cool. And she's chatty, chatty, chatty, talking about...

I'm a lawyer, I work with politicians, I'm this, I'm that, da, da, da, da, I'm this, and that. - I remember seeing that in the trailer. - Yeah, and he's thinking, "Big man, how can you be a lawyer if you can't even buy a cup of tea?" It's all mad. So anyway, she leaves, all good. Next day she comes in. Then she's chatty, chatty, chatty, chatty. And every day he gives her, she never touches alcohol. He gives her a fucking free Diet Coke every day. She barely touches it and she just chats to him all day, compliments him, compliments him, compliments him, compliments him. All of a sudden, bro,

She starts, she finds his email address on his fucking comedy website. No one knows he's a comedian by the way. He does it in his little secret life. - Okay. - So she finds his email address and she starts emailing him a hundred emails a day. Terrifying bro. - Yeah. - A hundred emails a day. And when I say bro, there's one point

She's in there emailing him. He never replies. He sees all the emails. She comes in every day, chatting his ear off, chatting his ear off, chatting his ear off. And he's thinking, fucking hell. One day, and her nickname for him is Baby Reindeer. I was going to say, is there a reference to the name Baby Reindeer? She's Scottish. Baby Reindeer, Baby Reindeer.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. My little baby reindeer. Is there a reference as to why she calls him that? At the very end, but I don't want to spoil it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As long as there is. There is actually a strong, powerful reference why she calls him that. And I do... It's very easy to explain, but you need to experience it. Okay, cool, cool, cool. So yeah, she's like, I'm a little baby reindeer. All the time, bro. Yeah. And basically...

He should tell us To fuck off But he doesn't Because secretly He likes the attention He won't admit it to himself He likes the attention bro This is the first time Bro It is the first time Yeah And then Because this is like Scene one Open and act You don't know Why he likes the attention So they do a lot of Backstory As the episodes go on And you realise Why he needs this Mmm

So anyways, going, just going, just going. She's emailing him a hundred times a day. And I wanna say like, he never confronts her about the emails. He knows she's emailing him. - And he just sees her next day. - And then the next day, he just chats to her like normal. But he doesn't like indulge. He just lets her chat away while he's getting on with his day. And then one time, the other people who work in the pub, obviously clocking it and they start grilling him for it. And they're like, "Oh, who's your girlfriend? Who's your girlfriend?" He's like, "Shut up, bruv." And she's obviously there. She's obviously there.

So she's there like, what's going on? What's going on? She was like, oh, tell us about your girlfriend. Like, how often do you guys fuck? And like, they're just bastards in it. They're grilling him, bro. And then- I don't care what friendship group you're in. How often do you guys fuck? Yeah, bro. They're asking him heinous questions. The fuck? Like, have you had sex yet? Did you do this or that? And then she starts getting mad uncomfortable. Mad uncomfortable. I bet. And then so to break it, he makes like a sexual joke to her. Okay. Like she's talking about like, oh, you can come around.

like I need my curtains doing or something like that. - That's what he said to her? - She said that to him. - Okay, okay, okay. - He was like, "Oh, I bet you're around all the time." She was like, "Oh yeah, you can come around. I actually need someone to like help hang my curtains and stuff like that." And then like to break the awkwardness, he was like, "Yeah, I'll come around and hang your curtains in it." And then she, fam, when I say her eyes lit up, she was like, "Swear big man, swear you're gonna come hang my curtains, yeah?" Say less. - Downfall. - Emails like, "Give me that fucking dick now, do this." Bro, on it.

the things I'll fucking do to you bro

next level stuff. - Oh wow. - And he's like, fuck sake. And that's when she kicks it up a notch bro. She kicks it up a notch. Bro, so she finds like, she's obviously emailing him nonstop, talking to him nonstop. She finds his Facebook, messaging him nonstop, commenting on every one of his pictures, nonstop, nonstop, nonstop, nonstop. And it's too much bro, it goes on for months. And basically the story unravels about how like it basically gets to a point where he can't handle it anymore.

She's turning up at his comedy gigs. So she's at his work every day. She's at comedy gigs every day. And like, now that he made a sexual reference and he's not following through, she wants it. And she's like, you're a fucking tease big man. Like what's going on bro? She goes crazy for man, crazy. And then he does his research, finds out bro, she just got out of a four year prison sentence for stalking. And he's like, oh, it's charged. The whole thing is charged.

halting his charge so anyway basically the story develops and then

The main crux of it is that Martha is obviously a massive, massive part, but you start learning about other situations in his life as to why he needs Martha in his life. Even though he hates Martha, he needs what she gives him because no one else in his life has given it to him. And all he ever wanted to be was a successful comedian and the things he's had to do, you man, to get there. Bro, when I say, I'ma say this one bit.

which is a spoiler yeah but for the love of god you need warning before you go into it yeah so thank me for spoiling this part because you can't be surprised like i was surprised by this part bro there's a this is a real story there's points in there where you're like this can't be a real story yeah bro there was a time yeah where he went to edinburgh fringe for his fringe festival and he started working with like a successful bbc comedy screenwriter okay the screenwriter was having around his yards we're having him around his yard every weekend

like going over like writing sessions, script sessions because the screenwriter wanted to help him with his comedy career, wanted him to get a job as a comedy writer, all this kind of stuff. So during these screen sessions and obviously Donnie was gassed for it. During the screen sessions,

they will get high. But Donnie wasn't really into drugs like that. But because homeboy, the screenwriter. Every time he keeps saying Donnie, I forget that's his name. Yeah, Donnie. Exactly. So the screenwriter was always like, oh, do you want to get high? Do you want to get high? Do you want to get high? And it would start with like weed, lose to coke. Before you know it, these men are smoking heroin. It was nuts. So they're going for it. And then basically the screenwriter would get him

To a point where he was so murked of drugs that he would like pass out. Screamer I would just start fiddling him bro. Screamer I would just start fiddling him. Bro. And then he kept going back every weekend because he wanted success so badly. He would just pretend like it never happened. Until one day big man. He wakes up from one of his fucking trances. He's getting banged. Shut the fuck up.

Bro? Harvey Weinstein. Bro! He's getting banged in there on a Cosby ting. It's terrifying to watch. You, man? It's terrifying to watch. Fuck, you know. And what that, um...

Shrape situation Does to his psyche Bro like He starts dating guys And sleeping with guys That he's never Entertained that before Because he doesn't Understand his sexuality anymore Wow He doesn't understand What's going on with him

He doesn't understand anything bro. The whole thing murked him and he didn't report Donny to the police. He didn't like, he didn't report the BBC guy to the police. He didn't report anything. Like he just dealt with it, dealt with it, dealt with it. So like when Martha introduced, when Martha came into his life, he was at rock bottom.

So by the time he does go to report Martha because shit's just getting too crazy. Because it gets to a point, the tipping point is basically, I won't spoil too much, but he's dating someone. Martha sees him on a date and rocks the girl, bro. Goes mental, rocks the girl. And that's when Donnie's like, okay, enough is enough. I have to go to the police. This is getting insane. Wow. So he goes to the police, goes to the police, bro. And then like,

He's like, I need your help. It's been going on for six months. It goes crazy. Police are like, six months, big man? Like, why have you not said anything sooner? And then he says to himself, like,

The reason I didn't do anything sooner is because one, I needed what she was giving me. And two, the fact that I hadn't reported what the BBC guy had done to me, I didn't feel right reporting Martha. Because what am I doing in this room reporting this girl that gives me nothing but affection and love when someone abused me and is just walking the streets willy nilly and I'm too scared to say anything. Bro, it's a dark, dark, dark show.

Damn. How many episodes? Like seven or eight, maybe. Yeah, seven. Oh my God. So yeah. So it really turns into this. And basically how it all came out

how the netflix thing was made and how his like career was made is that they show this in the series is that he is on stage when his life is rock bottom now he's on stage doing his like a comedy gig he breaks down and just tells everyone what what's happened to him he starts making a joke about oh i'm like i've got a stalker it's mad i've just found out i've got a stalker she's like

I've lost my girlfriend because of this. Like this stalker has ruined my life. And the funny thing is, is that like, I didn't even, like I needed her in my life because of like, I got raped by this guy. And everyone in this crowd is like, what the fuck is this? So someone recorded it while he was breaking down on stage, put it on YouTube, video went viral, obviously. And now he's made a Netflix show of it.

Bro, you man are not ready to see what I saw in this show, big man. - Say less. All right. A lot of people in this past week have spoken to me about the show, so. - It's concerning. - It's added to the list already. - I thought I had the stomach for it, you know? - Yeah. - For a lot of, there's very few things I can see on TV that will like rock me to my core. - Yeah. - I thought I had the stomach for it. I don't. - Would you say the things you saw in this was worse than the things you saw in? - Salt burn. - Salt burn.

- Soulburn's nuts. But yes, this yes, because Soulburn like, Soulburn's rough, but you can tell it's incredibly fictional. This with the constant reminder that not only is this a true story, but this guy who was reenacting it actually lived it. - Yeah. - You're like, this part must be fake. There's no way this is real. And I don't under, like doing this podcast, I've said stuff about myself that five years ago, you like,

I wouldn't have thought was possible for me to say. I have not scratched the surface in terms of what this guy's- This is a paid advertisement for BetterHelp. Bro. Talk to me. Real quick, ask me what my self-care non-negotiables are. What? Grounding.

Wim Hof breath work. Yeah. Eight hour sleep. Non-negotiables. Those are three perfect non-negotiables. And I'm proud of you. Thank you very much. I'm very, very proud of you. It's like when people say never skip leg day, but it's never skip therapy day. We all know how easy it is for our schedules to become overwhelmed with social gatherings and other obligations that leave us struggling to make time for the things that fill our own cups. 100%. It's like when your schedule is packed with big work projects and more.

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betterhelp.com slash gigs pod today to get 10 off your first month that's better help h-e-l-p dot com slash gigs pod into pot on cam about what happened to him okay i'm with you i'm with you yeah yeah is like bone breaking damn you're just like there's no way you are out here

And you're playing yourself. Yeah. It's not even like you've got another actor to portray it. That takes courage, man. Bro, it's not even like, yeah. It's not like he employed another actor to do it and no one's really going to know what he looks like and all this kind of shit. He's playing himself. He released a story on his Instagram yesterday or the day before because obviously he kept the name away. Like Martha's real name didn't put her out and all this kind of stuff. Yeah.

but the internet being the internet, they found her like that. So they've put her name on blast.

and obviously they're trying to find out who the bbc guy is they've they've said people have been speculating on tick tock and all that kind of thing like i wonder if it's this guy i wonder if it's this guy because they're looking into it like oh they work he worked with this guy yeah at this time and he said like he'll tell the story about oh this writer worked for this show helped me with my edibra fringe show when i was there so people are going back and they're going for the receipts like wait i think it's this guy

So now, even if it is or it isn't, there's a guy who does all used to work for the BBC that's getting harassed at the minute about this show. And obviously homegirl, the stalker, her name's on blast. Like, I know what her name is. I'm not gonna tell you what her name is just because he respectfully said, please stop looking. All over TikTok. It's all over TikTok. Yes, it's...

dark you man damn yeah that's me this week i'll add that to my list wow okay i love i love an english drama english drama is the best english dramas are the best hands down they just are and my mom loves english dramas and she'll send me recommendations for english dramas all the time and i'm just like chill chill but sometimes yeah they are simply the best thing bro this is

Groundbreaking television, this one. Guys. Girls. You might be wondering, whoop, what's that? Whoop is a wearable fitness coach. You wear it on your wrist. I've got one right here. And me and Fouad wear ours every day. All day, every day. So does Rem. All day, every day. And what it does, guys, is it tracks your sleep. It tracks your recovery. And it tracks your strain. You zero. And...

Everyone who is a true baby, everyone who is a true S&G fan at the minute is on our 12-week S&G challenge. And we're all getting snatched and sexy and our stomachs are flat and our cabooses are tight and the chests are chesting and the backs are backing. Because we're getting ready. Because we're getting ready to step on stage at the O2 titties out. Looking tight. Looking way too tight. Snatched. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Snatched? Yeah. Will my skin be shining louder than usual? Yeah, probably. - Probably, yes. - And that's the oil. - That will be. - But the oil just enhances what's already there. - Facts. - Which is a snatch little kitty cat. - Anyway. - Anyway, so guys, if you want a snatch little kitty cat,

Join. Go to join.woop.com forward slash S&G and it's time for us to check in with the babies and see how their progress is going. This is a very special week because we said last week, whoever is top of the table will get

Free goodies sent to you by Whoop themselves. We're going to send your details over to Whoop. So have you got everyone up? I've got everybody up. So I usually, just to caveat, I know I usually give an update. I'm not going to this week. Neither am I, James. Neither am I. There's only so much shit I can eat. Yeah.

without feeling like a piece of shit myself. And I can't come in here every week and say this person beat me. I'm ranked 1,456. I can't do it this week, you guys. So lay off, all right? I'll be back next week. - Yeah, it's been a terrible week. - Oh yeah, I'll be back next week with peacocking. But for this week, my tail's between my legs, all right?

Humble beggar. I'm sorry, you man. - Yeah, I hear it. - Anyway, who's killing it this week? - So we have Ruth on 20.6 strain. She bodied the Stairmaster. - Well done, Ruth. - She's top Donny for this week on strain. - Well done, Ruth. You're gonna be sending it. You'll be gonna get some gifts from Ruth. - Second place, obviously Rebecca. And we've got a- - Rebecca second again? - Rebecca second, yeah. - Damn. - And we've got Rochere again for third place.

For recovery, we have Ryan on 98%. We have Starlit on 98%. And we also have Rob on 97%. So Ryan, expect something in a post. Expect something. And for sleep, we have Charles on 100%. We have Owen on 100%. And we also have Nathan on 100%.

Very nice. Charles, Ruth and who? Charles, Ryan and Ruth. Charles, Ryan and Ruth. Well done. And I'm pretty sure Rebecca and Kyle are going to get stuff as well. They are. Because they've been in the top 10 since day one. So guys, look out for that. And then keep an eye out, guys. Make sure you're top of the table next week. And daddy's coming next week. Daddy's coming hard next week. Pause.

- Because I'm tired of eating dick, bro. Week in, week out. It gets exhausting. - It does. It does. - But I try my best. I'm only human. I'm flesh and blood. Sometimes I forget I'm flesh and blood. - True. - Because these men put me on a pedestal and they expect the most. Sometimes I forget I'm flesh and blood. - I don't put myself there. - Facts. I just wake up there. - Wake up and then like nearly stumble down. - Yeah, stumble 'cause it's high. - It's too high.

I get vertigo from the height. I get vertigo. - I get a case of the dizzy. - Fuck, say less. Right, I've got a recommendation a lot more lighthearted than this. A lot more lighthearted than this. It's called "Good Times Black Again." - "Good Times Black Again." - So "Good Times Black Again," it is a animated recreation of a '70s show

Back in the day. Do you know about the show? It's called Good Times. Oh, sorry. Okay, cool, cool, cool. The actual show in the 70s is called Good Times. And this is just the animated version of the show, which drops this month in April 2024. So it focuses on a black family that live in Chicago in the hood. The dad is played by J.B. Smooth. He's a cab driver that he calls.

can't make money to save his life. Okay. Yeah. And all he does every time he's in a sub-buckle, he's like, Jesus, why? Like he loves Jesus so much, but he can't believe that Jesus is doing this to him all the time. Yeah. All the time. So that's his life and that's his character. The wife, I can't remember her name, but it's played by Yvette Nicole Brown. She's the lady that was in Community, the church one. Yeah. Yeah.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - She is heavy in this show. - Really? - Her voice acting is so incredible and yet so similar, yet so very different from how she was in the community. She plays the mother. When I say it just reminds you, she could be your mom. - Ooh, okay. - She reminds you of such a typical black TV screen mother. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And it's hilarious. - Okay, gang. - Hilarious. - Gang, gang, gang.

The daughter, again, it's annoying because the cast isn't here. I can't remember their names. The daughter, she's, all she wants to do in college is graduate with the highest grade. She's obsessed, obsessed with education. The brother, I'm sure he's got like severe ADHD because he can't focus. He loves to paint and shit. But when it's time to focus in class-

his mind goes everywhere so they always compete well she always competes with the brother about um academics and stuff even though he know he can't compete but there's times where there was an episode where they gave him pills to try and take to focus when i say he bodied it

but they add more depth to it because there's slight changes of the animation when they do certain things. There's always a bit more imagination to the imagination of the show, which adds a lot of layers to it, which is fun. - Okay. - And then there's a youth. The baby is the funniest character. Again, can't remember his name 'cause the cast isn't up here. So the dad and the baby fucking hate each other. - Cool. - The baby hates the dad because the dad can't take care of the family.

- The dad hates the baby because the baby's a drug dealer. The baby's on road, shot in. He's got guns and everything. Shot in on road and he's one and a half. - Damn. - Yeah. But the dynamic is fucking hilarious. I would definitely, definitely give this a watch. It's just a very, very, very good, funny, relaxing watch. I think it's 10 episodes. I think I'm on episode seven.

And yeah, I would definitely, definitely recommend it. And especially one of the ones where you know it's gonna have a season two. It's a good watch, man. It's a good funny watch. - Okay, go. - So for sure, I'll definitely give that a watch for you. - Exciting. - Yeah, man. - Very, very nice. - That's my recommendation. - All right, Bet. Cool. Trash news, please, Rem. - Okay, so before I start,

The title of this particular article is called, it reads, Taiwanese man, 56, needs coconut removed from his rectum. That's not possible. So statistically, it's right here. How much per year do you think the NHS spends on removing objects from people's anuses? How much ballpark?

How much money, how many thousands per year do you think- - It costs the NHS. - It costs the NHS to remove- - I think it's sky high, you know. - To retrieve objects from the rectum per year. - Based on the fact that I need to sleep tonight, I'm gonna say like 10K. - That's cute. Next. - I think it's sky high. I think it's probably like best part, maybe like 220, 230 bags. - Ellis? - I'd say about 100 grand. - 340,000 pounds per year. - Taking things out of people's asses.

- Can we just not be trusted? Is that what this is? - Wow. - We can't be trusted. - We can't be trusted and we love to experiment. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's what that is. - None of us can be trusted that every man's up in the hospital getting shit taken out of their ass. - Wow. - Literally. - Wow. - A coconut. - That. - Coconut, big man. - Yeah fam. - Don't break my pelvis. - Yeah fam. - Why bro? - I don't know. - Shoved. - You said shoved.

- Bro. - That's illegal stuff. - A man who shoved a coconut into his bum needed to get it yanked out by surgeons. The constipated 56 year old who wasn't identified waited two days before seeking medical attention. - Two days, I'd be dead. I'd be dead. - I'd walk into an operating room. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And lie there.

Wow. The man from Taiwan did not confess why he used the fruit in the first place. Of course, why would he? Just get it out. Oh. Yeah, there's the imagery. He's pushing it against his spine. Yeah. That tailbone is banner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The coccyx is... It also doesn't look that big. It doesn't look that big. It's a baby coconut. It's... Yeah, so the measurement was nine centimetres. That's nine centimetres too many for me. Nine centimetres is way too many.

Writing in the British Journal of Surgery, medics claimed that he had been unable to urinate and complained of severe abdominal pain. Yeah. Upon examination, scans showed that the fruit was lodged in his rectum, compressing his urethra and preventing him from urinating. Two days. Two days without weeing. I promise you, man, I wouldn't survive. I wouldn't survive. 56 years old, bro. What's going on? He's on a board, bro.

There's boredom and there's just like How much stimulus do we need? Oh god That's straight off the tree That's disgusting man That's straight off the tree Like the debris That's gonna be left inside Donny And I know I'm vexed because I can see the shape and now I know what appealed to him

He wasn't expecting it to look like that. - Oh my days. - He cut it down from the tree, saw the shape and said, "I have to sit on that." - Yeah, tip first. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have to sit on that. - Oh my God. - So the rates of rectal foreign body removal grass here. - Sky. - Yeah, men are sky. - What's wrong with us? - Is this UK or worldwide? - This is UK, I believe. - UK. - Oh my days. - Yeah, study of Royal College of Surgeons. - So what, 400 plus men a year.

and 100 plus women a year. What's wrong with us? I don't know. The baseline, like on our worst possible situation, is still twice as much as the women's best possible situation. Yeah. Wow. The coconut, measuring 9cm in length, was then extracted via...

Leperotomy. An operation that involves opening the abdomen. Oh, no. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. The abdomen. He's got a scar and a heart. Yeah, yeah. C-section. Yeah, they gave him a C-section to get a coconut out of his arsehole. Pretty much. He should have ashamed of himself. Leperotomy procedures, however, often involved a hospital stay of up to five days and recovery period between six to eight weeks. Okay.

According to the NHS reports. - I wouldn't communicate with a single nurse during those five days. I'd lay in the fetal position pretending to be asleep. - I would tell them to take it out without putting me under. So when they open me up, just let me die. - Oh God. - Let me die, brother. - 'Cause I can't. - So extra. - Bro, die. - So extra. - Who are you speaking to after this? - Obviously no one. - No one knows who he is, bro.

Everyone in the hospital knows who he is. That's enough for me. - I'm not, yeah, nah bro. I wouldn't communicate. There's just too much going on. I'm staggered by the gender separation here. I'm staggered and humiliated.

The rise and fall between 14 and 16 is what I don't understand. What's going on brother? - What happened between 2017 to 2024 to get us here? We're at a sky high rate of shoving stuff up there just to see what pops. - Reports in medical literature of objects being stuck in intimate areas date back to the 16th century.

as well as corks and other objects. That's what I said. Other objects reportedly recovered by medics over the years include plastic aerosol caps, a plastic cup, and even a child's toy.

nhs doctors are no stranger to dealing with similar incidents with data analysis last year finding about 400 foreign objects are pulled from english anuses each year and that's when it goes on to say this was estimated to cost the taxpayer roughly 340 000 pounds per year unnecessary man that is yeah stop because be saving the nhs more than a quarter of a million pounds every year

Just use a dildo, bro. Just use a dildo and then just... Use the appropriate shit. Yeah, a coconut. Just use the appropriate shit. Yeah, use the appropriate shit and use stuff that doesn't get stuck up there, man. Facts, bro. There's so many phallic representatives that can be used. Use a fucking traffic cone for all I care.

- Coconut. - You can pull that bitch out. - Yeah, you can get off it. You don't have to go through this. - Coconut is like, not even like a banana. - Yeah bro. - You know what I mean? Something with the unison. - Not even plantain. - Something. - Yeah bro. - A coconut. - Coconut's scary. - He wanted pain. - Yeah, he needed something. - He begged for pain. - That's ruined my day. - Sorry.

- Damn bro. - If I was gonna start experimenting now, this would put me off. 'Cause I can tell all I'm seeing is from 2010 till now, it's a slippery slope. This is like a physical representation of slippery slope. Because it starts with a pinky and finishes with a coconut and a C-section. - The C-section is crazy, as a man.

- You say, "Oh, walk off your stomach, I had a C-section." - Yeah, yeah, yeah, bro. There's no way they're putting the gas mask on me and my legs are spread. And they're rubbing stuff on my tummy. I say, "What's going on?" - You're about to have a C-section. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're in the wrong area, big man. Get it out. - Okay. - They say this is the only way we can get it out. - Laparotomy, but yeah, we're just tagging it C-section.

- No, no, no, no, no, no. - The laparotomy. - Laparotomy, yeah. - Laparotomy, C-section. - Yeah, same John bro. - Open up my chest. - Yeah. - My stomach. - Chest is ridiculous. - Yeah, he opened up my stomach, dog. - For what? For my next bait to say, "What's that scar from?" - Like, how are you explaining that? - Yeah, I'm not saying that. I'd say I fell on a chain link fence.

- I tried to seppuku myself. - I was just thinking, seppuku? - Seppuku is someone save me. - Yeah, but that doesn't make sense then. Seppuku, that's your honor, you put yourself on the line. That's supposed to be the end of your days right there. - Yeah, I committed seppuku and my second pussyed out. - Yeah, my second pussyed out and then I survived. - Yeah, survived. - I somehow survived and here we are. - Seppuku doesn't work on me 'cause I'm him. I'm a hard nut. - Yeah.

- Oh, right. Anyway, I've got a thread to finish, okay? - All right, cool, cool. - You ever see "One Man, One Jar"? - Oh, don't you dare. - What did you say? - Don't you dare. - Have you ever seen "One Man, One Jar"? - Oh. - Yeah, in like secondary school. - God, that was horrible. - Wait, wait. How old were you when you saw this? - I was gonna say. - I was young. - We saw this when we were young. - I got shown it in like year eight.

- Yeah. - I would have vomited in your age. - Yeah. - Fuck. - I wasn't much older. I think I should have shown it like year 10. - I was gonna say, I was in secondary school. - I was definitely in secondary school. But I was, for some dumb reason, I was thinking the day I saw it is the day you saw it. - I know, I did the same maths. I did the same maths. Like when I saw it, you can't possibly see it. - You couldn't possibly have seen it. - There's no way. - Oh God. - You would have traumatized. - You were sucking your own tea, bro. - Yeah, there's no way you're seeing one man, one job. - Yeah, 100%. - That bitch cracked. - Yeah.

Yeah. I can see it in 4K later on now. Yeah, yeah. He's wrecked. Yeah. He had warts from jump anyway. So he was down. I didn't understand the pressure could be that tight. Neither did I. Yeah, it's to crack a glass jar.

That's pressure, you man. I couldn't do that with my hand. Yeah. No, you couldn't. Do you know how crazy that is? I couldn't do that with my hand. Yeah. It was batty. Mental. He was draining pipes with that thing. That's insane. Anyway. So the title of this thread, what are some things that sound like compliments but are actually insults? Okay, cool. Nice, easy. First off, I don't usually like black girls. I don't usually like black girls, but you...

You're different. I think I've told you, man, before I had a girl that I had like a little fling with years ago and she wouldn't stop saying she doesn't fancy black guys. She was insisting it was like the biggest compliment she could give me. And she was always like, oh, I just don't, I really don't usually go for black guys. I usually don't go. I was like, okay. And then she was like, nah, you're not like, she, she,

Really really really thought I was gonna be like no way and like you picked me Like that's what she thought I was gonna say cuz she reiterated again like no James I don't think you understand like I do not fancy black guys I know what right I remember saying to her like say that one more time I dare you I fucking dare you bro say that one more time God it was butters bro God you're a better woman than me. That's on God you're a better woman than me. Yeah, bro

Damn. Next. A lot of them are fucking women ones as well. That's how you know women be shady, bro. Backhanded always. I love that for you. Yeah. And they preach that one. They stay preaching that one. You know what? I actually love that for you. I love that for you. I love that for you. Can never be me.

But I love that for you because that's what you deserve. And that's the level you can achieve. Yeah. Everyone has a lane. This is yours and I'm happy you found it. Stay in it. Fuck. Right. This is the one. What sounds like a compliment is actually an insult. I wish I had your confidence. I think I've heard that one before. That's not fair. That's not fair. That's not fair. I wish I had your confidence. Damn. Because that's like...

- It's the most embarrassing thing I can imagine. - Speaking of confidence, the breader that couldn't stop laughing at Dave Chappelle. - Dave Chappelle. - Ellis. - Really, that bad? - Fam? - He would laugh a third before the punchline was even dropped. - I was convinced it was a tick. - It had to have been a tick. It had to have been something. - It was really loud as well. - The loudest. - Something. - It was that! - It was that. - It sounded exactly like that. - No. - And then it go. - Yeah.

Every 15 seconds They firmed it until like the last Third quarter of the thing And then he went to say something And the guy was like Everyone looked and everyone laughed Yeah, it was buzz Dolphin laugh That's crazy It was tough It was really fucking tough I've never been to a comedy show And had to think about

other people in the crowd like you get a joke a punchline and everyone laughs at different you know different volumes of how funny they find something that bray was just creasing throughout the whole thing bro it was so jarring to be fair i went to a comedy show once and there was a couple like two seats away and the guy was explaining to his girlfriend the joke she wouldn't get it

Every fucking joke, he was just explaining it. And I was like, you're just ruining this whole experience. - Oh, that's biased. - I can't hear that. - Yeah, so basically it's just, oh yeah, I get it now. - Oh, man. - Fucking horrible, yeah, honestly. - That's disgusting. - That's a red flag. - That's a huge red flag. - Yeah, 100%. - I'm explaining jokes to you. - Yeah, bro. - Literally. - Why can't the penny just land? - Yeah, facts. Like, you can't say Dick and Dom is your pace.

- That's low. - You can't say the Choco Brothers are your place, bro. - That's low. - You can't. What are we doing? Right. Yeah, I wish I had your confidence. - That's crazy. - That's horrible. - Yeah. - This one I used to get all the time from the whites that just come back from Tenerife. Look, I'm almost as dark as you. That one? Look, I'm almost as dark as you. Me in primary school/secondary school

Every summer, bro, every summer, some Catherine would put our arm next to mine and be like, look, I'm almost as dark as you. - Do they just not understand how racist that is? - Of course not. - The PTSD I'm getting from that comment. - Like, bro, I'm dark and I've had that from Caucasians, my brother. - That one there doesn't make sense. - Doesn't make sense.

- Doesn't make sense. - And it's like, oh look, shut up, man. - Yeah, literally shut up. Who's this for? - Who is it actually for? - This one is, what sounds, okay, cool. What sounds like a compliment is actually an insult. You're so well-spoken. - Um. - You're not, you think, go back to the race thing you were just saying. - Yeah. - And why someone would be saying that to you. - You're so well-spoken for. - Yeah, you're so well-spoken for. - For a nigger. - Yeah. For someone who smells so banana-y, you sound so.

- Bro, for someone who looks like that to come to my queen's country and talk like this. - Sound, is this magic? You sound so well. Yeah, when did you get here? - It looks so banal, it's hilarious. - Oh God, when did you get here bro? - It's annoying 'cause that's somewhat triggering 'cause I used to get that

when I worked in hospitality quite a bit. A lot of people used to think I'm not from London, even though I don't think I've got an accent, but people would say, oh, you don't sound like you're from London because you're so well-spoken. I'm like-

- What? - Interesting. - Very interesting, bro. It happened a lot in hospitality. A lot. It was weird. - So what do they expect you to sound? Just bear cockney? - I have a cockney or road. I don't know. - Or road is right. - Probably road 'cause I'm black. - Or road is right 'cause you're black. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And it's like, oh, you're so well-spoken. You don't sound like you're from London. You don't sound like you're from, I was like, how do you want me to sound? - Do you want me to act like what you see on TV? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Is that gonna help you out? - 'Cause you haven't grrr once. - Yeah, you don't need.

- You haven't done that once. - You haven't draw for anything at all today. - Yeah bro, how you doing that? - What? Fuck. - Okay, go, go, go, go, go. - Madness, madness. - Oh, all right. What sounds like a compliment is actually an insult. How's your little music thing going? - Oh.

- How's your little music thing going? - How's your little podcast thing going? - Yeah, how's our little podcast going? - Just ring my neck. - Oh God. - Yeah. This one's dread. This one's definitely a girl one. I saw this one. What sounds like compliments actually insult. Hey twin. Hey twin. - Facts. - Yeah. - Facts. - Never associate me with you. - Facts. - Never associate myself with yourself. - Facts, we are not the same. - Yeah. Next one. You can come if you want.

That's the story of my life. Yeah, come if you want. Damn. You should come if you want. Damn. Do you want me to come or not? I also hate that back and forth. Yeah, of course. I hate that back and forth. I can't remember me asking that question, but if I have asked that question, like, I don't know. Like, I know I've solidified my mind. I'm not going regardless of what you say. If you said come if you want, and I've said, do you want me to come? And you're like, yeah.

Yeah, I'm just saying if you want to come you should go up. Yeah, I need to come. I need to hear that yeah again. That bitch was high pitched. Yeah bro, nah, I'm not going. Fuck it up. Okay, cool. I hope you have the day you deserve. Layered. Yeah, layered indeed. Bro, what sounds like a compliment is actually an insult. If you like him, I like him.

If you like him, I like him. It's cool. This is your choice. I can't take every step for you. If this is the person for you, I guess it's the person for us. Yeah. Damn. It's tough. Next one. You look better without makeup. Again, that's very... Yeah. That's a grey area. Yeah. It is a grey area. That's a grey area. But it's also like, I'm trying to picture it of someone being like, you look better without a haircut.

because in the case of like- - You're a fucking liar. - Yeah, first of all, you're a liar. Second of all, I've consciously paid money to enhance my experience of life. And you're telling me I wasted my time. - Experience of life. - Yeah, I tried to make an effort and you said that was a waste of money and you actually look better when you just look like you got out of bed. When you haven't eaten in four days, that's when you look your best. - Yeah, peak. - Yeah, it's tough. What sounds like a compliment is actually an insult. It's very you.

- It's very you. - Yeah, I hear that. - Yeah, that's tough. What is me? What is me? - Yeah, what is your preconception of me? - Yeah, 100%. - Because there is something that I don't know that you know about me. - Yeah. - So what is it? - Yeah, 100%. Last one. Sounds like a compliment, actually an insult. This one made me laugh when I read it. You look like Mia Khalifa when you wear glasses. That's nuts. That's actually nuts. I'm not gonna explain to anyone who might not understand. - That's so unfair.

You look like Mia Khalifa. - Only when you wear glasses. 'Cause that's the kink I keep. - Yeah, it's trigger-signing me. When I see those shades on. - Yeah, I can't think of anything else. - When I see those spectacles on. That secretary look. - Yeah, trigger-signing. - Yeah, you got that Mia.

Nuts. But yeah. Anyway, guys, that's the show for today. It is. That was fun. Thank you very, very, very much. And yeah, I've laughed today. I've laughed today. What did you say? I don't even remember. What the fuck did you even say? I don't even remember. The table will rock. Yeah.

- Oh my God. - That was funny. Anyway guys, thank you for today. As always head on to patreon.com/shitsandgigs, three pound a month. - Time for your day. - Run the beat to S&G and follow us every Thursday. Love, love, love. - Gang, gang, gang.

When you want to have fun and have scratchers to scratch, there's a playful way you can do just that. Scratch with a key or acrylic nail, scratch with a quill from a porcupine tail. Use a belt buckle from your friend Lamar, or scratch with your pick while you play guitar. You can scratch in a bunch of different playful ways. Scratchers from the California Lottery. A little play can make your day. Please play responsibly. Must be 18 years or older to purchase, play, or claim.

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