MUM & DAD MATH?! | EP 329 | ShxtsNGigs Podcast
45:32 Share

It's that time of the year. Your vacation is coming up. You can already hear the beach waves, feel the warm breeze, relax, and think about work. You really, really want it all to work out while you're away. Monday.com gives you and the team that peace of mind. When all work is on one platform and everyone's in sync, things just flow. Wherever you are, tap the banner to go to Monday.com.

This episode is brought to you by Hulu. Hulu Anime Ahem is your animation destination to watch full seasons and new episodes of your favourite animated shows. Get ready to be bowled over, have your socks knocked off

and get thrown for a loop, all in one convenient streaming location. Stream stone-cold animated favourites like Family Guy, Futurama and Bob's Burgers. And you can also catch Solar Opposites, Hitmonkey, American Dad and tons more. Plus, watch some of the freshest animated series around like The Great North, Grimsburg,

crapopolis and so many more that's right guys if you're looking for your favorite animated shows there's only one destination you need to remember hulu anime mayhem your animation destination now streaming on hulu family i'm gonna start the year fresh can't you see we want to start the year clean and fresh right boys and girls we're back

And like we always say from the jump, we just get straight into it. We pull them to the side and we just go. Damn, bro. You pull them to the side and we just go. Damn, bro. Oh, spitting. Yeah, yeah. Spitting. Spitting.

- All right, let's go. Let's go. Spit and split. - Spit and split as we do. And obviously, of course, we have the question of the week and the question of the week was, mum/dad math. - Mum/dad math, all right.

- You already know the trend has been going and been going and been going within the boy mouth, girl mouth, this mouth, that mouth, black mouth. - And your boys are sheep like the rest of them. - Yeah. - We're no better than the rest of them. - We are no better, but we are the best. - Facts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't make sense. When you say it with chest, it doesn't matter. There's a need to make sense. - It doesn't make sense, but it makes sense. - Yeah. - Come on. Come on. - Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

Cool. Right. Mom, dad math. Mom math is calling me into her room to get the remote six inches away from her hand.

I've never been treated like that, but yeah, I bet. That's a piss take. I have. And it's facts. It's always the margers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My pops will get up. If what my pops will do, if he knows he can't be bothered to get up and change the channel, he's just falling asleep where he is. The TV's on and he's falling asleep where he is. My mom will call me. Yeah, and she won't tell you what's going on either. Facts. She'll just say Fuhad and let the air sit. And let the air.

Just let it sit I'll be like mum Mum Nothing Until she starts hearing me walking And saying mum Then she'll be like Come and get this thing for me Because she knows I'll screw She knows I'll screw It's jarring Dad math is driving five miles out of town Because the petrol is three pence cheaper Damn That's backwards Yeah that's That's hella backwards Backwards math

- Mum math is getting you to sleep early two weeks before school starts to get into a routine. - That's going to be vexed. - I knew it would. - That's going to be vexed bro. - I knew it would. - That's so facts. - Yeah, it is. And that's obviously mum math. - Oh, you need the routine. School starts in two weeks.

Bro. Get out of my face. It's 8 p.m. and the sun's out. It's out. And I can still hear the hoses spraying. I can hear the pit of power of everything else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Giggling. Oh, the hose is still spraying. Yeah, man. It's still spring. Allow it, man. Oh, God. God. Giving you trauma as a kid, but then denying it all when you're an adult. Mm-hmm. Preach. Dad math is them saying, are you going to challenge me when you prove them wrong? Oh, my God.

I can hear it in a Nigerian English accent so well. Swear. Are you going to challenge me? Oh, no, no, no, no. I've never had that confrontation in my life. Are you going to challenge me?

You're just a you, you know, just speaking facts. You asked me a question. I answered. And the response is, are you going to challenge me? This isn't the animal kingdom. Don't, I'm not challenging anyone. I'm just speaking dad. Allow me. Challenge me. Wow. There's so much authority. Authority in that word challenge. Yeah. Facts. Are you ready to take over? Cause here I am. Are you ready to take over?

Are you ready to start paying bills? That's clearly what he's asking. - Bro, no, no, no, no, that's scary. - Oh, Mum Math is grabbing her. Sorry, Mum Math is grabbing her hand when she tries to hit you equals you are trying to kill her. - Yeah. - Facts. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - When you try and dodge. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And she starts like, oh, no, bro. - Yeah, bro, you dodge that punch, she falls to the floor.

- Say he hit me. - He hit me. - Mum stop all these lies. Stop all these lies before dad gets home. - Bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro, bro. - Because you'll murk me. You'll murk me. Stop it. - That's crazy. - Mum math is coming home from work and getting angry at your children relaxing. James, James, I don't think you man understand how

my life was between like three and six every day. When I got back home from school, Dragon Ball Z, a bit of Trouble TV, a bit of Nickelodeon. - God, Trouble? - Six o'clock, I'd hear my pops or my mom's car door slam. - Live it. - And the PTSD will start flowing. - Yeah, live it bro. I remember saying- - The anxiety and the, even if I've done nothing or I know I've done everything I need to do before they get in, I'm still like, fuck, playtime's over. - Bro. - Playtime's over. - I remember coming home and thinking,

- 'Cause I used to mitigate that by always being out. - Okay. - And I used to come home at my curfew. And when I opened that door, bro, I used to have to play my steps perfectly. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - When I open that door, I have to say hello to everyone. Bro, if I made it from the door to the kitchen without announcing myself and saying hello, beef! Beef, bro!

that's yeah it's stupid man let us live as kids as children as your child being vexed your kids for relaxing is crazy i remember it like it was yesterday saturday morning bro saturday morning if the washing up wasn't done from the night before brother arms there's one on here facts actually there's literally one on here i'll go to that one right now mum math

Is it being 9am on a Saturday and her screaming, are you going to sleep all day? Are you going to sleep all day? Big man, it's a weekend and it's nine o'clock. Yeah, let me sleep. Just let me sleep. Are you going to sleep all day is right. Bro. Bro, it's the most jarring thing. I know it's chore day, but relax. The chores aren't going anywhere. Bro, the sound of that hoover on a Saturday waking me up.

The most jar-renting possible. - I remember my mum used to do this. I've said this on the pod before, but my mum used to do this all the time. This is when I was still working at Grill on the Market. And obviously I knew I was livid every day because I worked the longest shifts out of everyone in my family. And I'm like, just let me rest, bro. I've got a 12 hour shift tomorrow, let me rest. Every morning before my mum would leave to work,

She would wake me up. I bear in mind, I probably had about five hours, six hours sleep at this point. She would wake me up, tell me the chores to do, not to forget and then leave. I was like, you know, I have a phone fucking text me. Literally text me. I tell her all the time, stop waking me up. Please text me. And she gets mad at me for me having an attitude at her. Yeah, of course. You're putting me in this position. Yeah.

You're putting me in this position. I'm trying to be fresh for work. You're fucking talking about do the dishes. Text me. It's so frustrating. - 100. - Oh, I remember like it was yesterday, bro. Every week without fail. - Oh my days, bro. - Moms know what they're doing. I don't know why they do it. - Of course they do, bro. - It's their little entertainment. It's their little entertainment before they scurry off to make some money.

It's the only pleasantries they've got. - Oh, Dorian is actually getting me vexed. It's not a funny thread, it's just a PTSD thread. - It is a PTSD, it's a trauma thread. - Oh God. - Mum Math is them asking you if you know your schoolwork like you know those songs.

- Yeah, I remember that. - I've never had that one. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Do you know your school? - Do you know those songs? - Yeah, it was primary school, early secondary school days. All you knew was music. Yeah. - Why are you not allowed to just enjoy stuff? - Family! Parents don't want their kids to have fun. - They don't. - Period. - They don't, they don't, they don't. - Because I can, the thing is like,

As an adult now, we're all 32, you're probably familiar with this, right? We're deep in how hard, not necessarily how hard life is, but how stressful days can actually be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I can imagine us now going back to yard and just seeing kids spread out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My days, man. I'm smacking everyone. I'm smacking all three of you in a row. Line up so I can clatter you as an ETC, like ta-ta-ta. I don't want to wave my hand more than once. ETC! ETC!

Because I can't come home from a long day and see you man running around having fun. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've just done a three hour commute. - Fucking fix up. - Yeah, yeah, I've done a three hour commute. Why you laughing? - Fuck. - Why you laughing? - Sit down and shut up. I'm hungry. - Fuck you laughing at? - No one made me food, nah. I'm the bread winner and there's no food on the table. - There's no fucking bread.

- Oh, so I get it. I get it. You see what I'm saying? But as a child, allow me. - And then ask for this life. - Facts. Facts, bro. - And then ask to be born, bro. I remember the one smackable offense all the time when I lost my temper as a kid.

Whenever my mom was like, "Oh, you have no respect." "I gave birth to you and I've raised you." I used to say, "That's the law." - Yeah, facts. - It's the law. Stop rubbing that in my face. - I would never say that about facts. - I said that twice. Wow. - I wouldn't be here. - Yeah, yeah, I was dodging. I said it twice in my life, I was dodging, bro.

- Oh my days. - I wanna be here. Wow. - I remember saying bro, you're moving like a ass to be born. - Yeah. - Fuck, it's the law to take care of me. Don't use that as the bare minimum. - Oh God. - Oh bro, I used to get crazy. - Oh Jesus. - But yeah, the fun aspect is mad. - It is, it is. You see what I'm saying though? - It's mad. I remember one time,

One time I asked my mum on one summer's day, one summer's day I asked my mum, can we go have a water fight? Me and my brother. She said, yeah, do your thing. She cost us for coming in wet. She lost her shit. She was like, look who. I was like, it's a water fight. It's a fucking water fight, bro.

And she was like, "You're taking a piss. Look, you're fucking close. You're soaking up the tea." I can't win. And she can't win. She wanted us to do water fight and just miss. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dodge everything. - Yeah, play water. Just water the flowers. - Oh God. - Oh bro, jarring. - Very much so. All right, mum dad math. - Dad math? This has happened to me so many times. - Yeah, go on. - Dad math is making you fetch the belt for your own beating. - That's crazy. - Fuck!

- My pops would just say, go and pick a belt. - Pick a belt? - Go pick a, bro, you start doing my- - You're not allowed to pick the skinnier one. - Nah. - 'Cause then he's like, yeah, yeah. - And he will lick my skin off. The skinny ones will lick my skin off.

- Go and pick a belt. - Oh my God. - Nah, I'm sorry bro. I'm sorry, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - That's fear. - Go and pick a belt. - Fear. - I'm leaving. I'm running away bro. - But you're not 'cause when you're back, it's even, I've told you man, this story, I've tried to run away before. I didn't make it far. I made it to school and back. They beat me. You man, they beat me. Fuck.

- Bro! - No, no, no, no. The mad thing about difference between your parents and my parents here. If I tried to run away, there will be no beatings ensued. - Okay. - The level of pure victim that my mom would play in those moments. - Oh, swear. - Bro, I'll never hear the end of it. - Oh, swear. - I'll never hear the end of it. She'll run to her room like I beat her. She'll run to her room, slam the door and cry so loudly.

and ask God why. - Nah, bro. Stop all of that. - I'm leaving because of you. - What did I do for this level of disrespect? - Oh my God. - This level of disdain. - That's a joke. - What did I do? - Bro, yeah. It's jarring. I would've been guilt tripped for four weeks. - Damn, yeah. I would've been beat that first day and being bruised for four weeks. My days. - I tried to run away before. - It just didn't work, bro.

I don't even know what prompted me to do it. - If I'm picking bells is what prompted you to do it. - Probably, but I don't know what I thought was, I don't know what I thought I was gonna achieve out of it. Do you see what I'm saying? - You're terrible, you're not supposed to know. - It was bonkers to me, I was in primary school. - I remember I was one point, I was so, this is so dramatic. I was so over this curfew bullshit. - Yeah. - I'm so over the bullying. - Yeah. - And the teasing. - Yeah. - I started looking at holes in bushes. As you're just walking down like a cycle path, you'll see like a little,

Just like a little crawl space in a bush. And you think, I could rather just live there. I could live there. No one's going to fire me, bro. And it looks kind of cozy. Wow. Then I can stay out as long as I want. Wow. Bro, obviously I'm talking to you. Yeah, clearly, bro. Yeah. And I used to look at like homeless people and I used to think, it doesn't look that bad. Yeah, you might go like, yeah, it looks cozy as fuck. What do you mean you got two sleeping bags? That's crazy, bro. Two sleeping bags and your hat's full of coins. I'm not seeing money like that.

You seem to be doing just fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, yeah. But that picker belting is crazy. Brother. Yeah. Fetch. Fetch your weapon. Right. Mum math is making you clean the entire house for guests that aren't going to leave the living room. Fucking facts. Bro, when...

Telling me to clean my room because her friend's coming over is the most nuts thing ever. The most nuts thing for me. My mum would say, why haven't you changed my bed sheets? It's New Year's Eve. Stop. She said, we need to start the year fresh. Why haven't you changed my bed sheet? That's not a sentence a human being has said. I'm telling you, Nigerians, get away with murder. Murder, James. Murder.

Why? I can't even. You lost me in the first half. Why haven't you changed my bed sheets? I'll stand up. I mean, obviously I'll get sat back down, but in that moment I'll stand up. And then to finish it off, the confidence. It's New Year's Eve. The fuck does that mean to me? Family. I'm going to start the year fresh. Can't you see I want to start the year clean and fresh? I can't hear stuff like that. Can't you see I want to start the year clean and fresh?

Some of the stuff I've been told is so barbaric, bro. Can't you see? I want to start the year clean and fresh. Change my bed sheets. Wow. I couldn't hear that in a Nigerian accent. Oh, brother. It'll spin me. It's so barbaric, man. It'll spin me, bro. The chores they give us. Anyway. God. Yeah.

Yeah, go, go. Dad math is taking the money that was given to you by a relative and saying they're going to hold it for you. Been there so many times. Oh, bro. So many times. Bro, bro, bro, literally. Dad math is asking me the same math question whilst there's tears in my eyes. Oh, fuck. That's bullying. That's just bullying. Whilst there's tears in my eyes.

The next one. Good, good. Dad math is having kids with multiple women and expecting everyone to have one happy family. Oh, dads, yeah. Dads have a sense of delusion that doesn't, they demand respect in every facet. Factual.

So if my four baby moms are not getting along, where do you mind getting the audacity? I work 12 hours a day. I provide for all of you. Shut up and get along. Shut up. Shut up. You're going to put me in an early grave. You don't want that. Yeah. He's going to provide. When I was 17 kids, I'm complaining. No one ever comes to see me. No one ever comes to see me. That's all I've done for you, man. Oh, God. All right. I got a few more to go. God. Yeah.

Mum math is them having a bad dream so you can't go out. I've never had that one, but I've heard it. That's crazy. Mum slash dad math is not letting you stay out late, but comfortably sending you to another country to study.

That's me. To be fair, that's me. The way you, man, say that so comfortably has always spun me. Oh, we've got sent to wherever to study. Yeah, like the fact that like you're strict in this household, but you're willing to send me across the world. Yeah, facts. By myself. Facts, bro. Yeah. That's crazy. It's factual. It's just factual. Yeah, it is crazy. Jesus. Mum math is beating your kids before church and wondering why they won't praise the Lord. Oh my God.

Oh, God. Mum math. Bad grades equals early pregnancy. Coming home late from school, early pregnancy. Sleeping in, early pregnancy. Oh, shit. All right, two more. Okay, my head's pounding, bro. Dad math is them lecturing you about what they've achieved when you're age after giving you an arse whooping.

- 100. - All dads have won a gold medal in the Olympics by age 11. - Oh, facts. But you know when I was your age, I've done that. - Yeah, when I was your age, I was walking miles to school. - When you were my age, it was like 1974. Bro, so relax. - Yeah, literally. - I don't wanna be your age at that year, so relax. - Literally. - God, it's jarring. Anyway, last one. Dad math, always broke for his kids, but manages to send money back home. - Interesting. - Damn.

- Interesting. - Damn. But yeah, that was mum and dad math. - This was literally like foreign mum and dad math. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, facts. - This is like, yeah, first generation immigrant mum and dad math. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's exactly what it was. - Wow. - I was locked in, I was there. - I wanna hear white mum and dad math. - All right, so then. - That's roses. - Oh, is it? - I reckon. I reckon. I went, well, mine was white, but Irish white's a different white. - Yeah, it's not rosy. - Yeah. - It's more thorny.

Irish wine is a different wine. It's more thorny. Yeah, bro. Wow. Right. Welcome. Sorry, I cut you off. No, I was going to say, I literally said welcome. Oh, welcome guys. Thank you for being with us. As always, we need you to head on over to patreon.com forward slash shits and gigs. Yes, sir. Contribute a nice three pound a month. Tempe your day. And be a top boy or a top girl. Yes, sir. Because if you're not a top boy, what are you? Bottom boy. Sorry, I wasn't on. Bottom boy. I'm here now. Sorry. Bottom boy.

Sorry, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here. Wow. I'm here, I'm here, I'm here. I clocked it like three seconds late. I saw. I'm here. If you're not a top boy, you're a bottom boy. Freaks is moving like a bottom boy. Sos. Anyway, patreon.com, four sachets of gigs, three pound a month. Tempe a day. Run the pizza, SNG. Zero. Get all the exclusive episodes over there every single Thursday. Zero. Years and years and years worth of backlog if you're like a little binge. Four years to be exact. Four years of backlog if you're like a little bingey-wingey. Mm-hmm.

If you're watching us on YouTube, please subscribe to the channel. If you're listening to us, leave a nice review. Remski, trash news, please, sir. A priest broke his seal of confession to put a cheating wife on blast to her husband. Oh, dear. Oh, dear, indeed. Oh, dear. He broke some rules and he's going to hell.

Where's the, what's the word I'm looking for? The confidentiality? Yeah, bro. Non-existent. Priest, lawyer, you can't be spilling my stuff. Fam, check it. A priest violated his confession seal in order to inform the husband about an unfaithful wife. The woman was in a true dilemma and believed that Reddit was the only place where she could get help.

The cheating woman went to the legal counsel subreddit to see if she could file a lawsuit against her priest. She posted about cheating on her husband while traveling for work in 2022. Mary didn't feel especially bad about it at the time since she and her husband were on a shaky ground. Raw. So you post about it. So she posted it on Beyonce's internet. Okay. But then came to her senses and she immediately felt horrible about the situation.

So she decided to come clean to the priest. As part of her penance, the priest told her that she had to tell her husband what had happened. Naturally, this is not a simple undertaking, so she paused to consider her options. So instead of checking in with the cheating wife, the priest felt that he needed to update and spoke with her husband instead. I can't even remember. She returned home one evening to discover him violently tossing her belongings out of their bedroom. She deduced what had happened.

My whole world is exploding because I thought confession was supposed to be private, she wrote. Does this priest have any kind of liability or responsibility? Bro, that's a good dilemma. I'm not going to lie. It is an interesting dilemma. It's interesting. I feel like... This is a paid advertisement for BetterHelp. Bro. Talk to me. Real quick, ask me what my self-care non-negotiables are. What? Grounding. Grounding.

Wim Hof breath work. Yeah. Eight hour sleep. Non-negotiables. Those are three perfect non-negotiables. And I'm proud of you. Thank you very much. I'm very, very proud of you. It's like when people say never skip leg day, but it's never skip therapy day. We all know how easy it is for our schedules to become overwhelmed with social gatherings and other obligations that leave us struggling to make time for the things that fill our own cups. 100%. It's like when your schedule is packed with big work projects,

and more, it's easy to let your priorities slip. Even when we know what makes us happy, it can be hard to make time for it.

But guys, when you feel like you have no time for yourself, non-negotiables like therapy are more important than ever. Agreed. And therapy has broader benefits like, for example, learning how to set boundaries in your life so that you feel empowered to be the best version of yourself. Exactly that. With almost 5,000 therapists in the UK already, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a wide variety of expertise. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp.

betterhelp.com slash gigs pod today to get 10% off your first month that's better help h-e-l-p dot com slash gigs pod it's it's very interesting when someone comment a priest violating his code never heard that one before facts wow noun for doing stuff this is the least of it yeah um but i feel like in that aspect you don't necessarily anyway continue i don't know man well

He said he only spoke to the husband because he needed an update. So it sounded like he assumed that the husband knew. Whether or not, it sounded like, I'm just checking in because I want an update about what's going on. Not like it's your business for an update. Yeah, definitely not your business. But the way it's premised here is that he wasn't spilling her confession.

It was a case of she'd confessed. He's saying, if you want to be forgiven by the Lord, you best go tell your husband. He assumed she wanted her to get forgiven by the Lord. So instead of checking in with the cheating wife, the priest felt he needed an update and spoke with her husband instead. So it didn't sound like you don't know this and she confessed this to me, but she's been cheating on you. It sounded like he said, so how do you feel after your wife told you?

Yeah, but it's also like, you're not a therapist. You shouldn't- Some people, I promise you, some people treat priests as therapists. I get that, but I also feel like, I don't think, well, I have no idea because I've never been to a priest in this manner or whatever, but I also feel like

a priest shouldn't be asking the questions. You should let whoever come into the room confess and speak and then listen and then like add tidbits as and when. Add Hail Mary's, add prayers. Do you see what I'm saying? A priest shouldn't... I, as the husband, shouldn't come into a church, sit down and a priest would tell me, so...

What's the update on you and your cheating wife? Do you see what I'm saying? - I think, I don't know, bro. This is his flock. I think you'll be surprised because the priest, it doesn't say here that he told the husband in the confession box.

- True. Okay. - That makes it worse, no? - No, 'cause he could have just seen the husband on Sunday and gone open to him and been like, 'cause the open plane, like I agree with what you were saying if it was in the confession box. - That's how deep in it. - If the husband went in the confession box and was speaking, speaking, speaking, then he's like, "Oh, by the way, how did this go?" That's not how it's supposed to go. But if it's just his flock,

People go to priests with issues all the time. And they want the priest's advice on this, that and the other. So he's probably confident to be like, you must be really hurting right now. How's everything? How are you coping? - He's like, what the fuck? - And he's like, what the fuck are you talking about? I was like, obviously Sarah and Donny. - Banging guys on Reddit. - Yeah, facts! Banging guys and talking about it on Reddit. How are you feeling? And I said, what? And he said, what? Facts!

- I told her she's going to hell if she doesn't tell you. - Yeah, but he's pulling his collar like, "Oh, she wants hell." - She wants hell. Say less, my bad, my bad, my bad. - Yeah, so I'm playing devil's advocate, obviously. But yeah, if it's premised that way, I can see that he hasn't really broken any oaths.

- I guess. - In that scenario, yeah, I agree. But I definitely assumed it was the way Fweg said it. - Same, yeah. 'Cause I'm looking at the picture, I'm seeing how it is. I'm just deep in it, it's in a confession box. - This confession box pic here is like just- - As soon as it's raining me. - Yeah. Like he's literally whispering to my man right there like, "Your fam." - Your fam. - So what going with your wife, man? - What going with your cheating wife? - I'd make a terrible piece. I'm telling everyone, everyone's business. There's not a wife in there that can come and tell me she's a cheat.

- There's not a wife in that flock that she can tell me she's a cheat and I'm not gonna tell her man. There's not a single one. - Why? - You wouldn't have a congregation anymore. - Yeah. - I know I wouldn't. - You wouldn't have anyone following you. - 'Cause I like sleep. I like peace, bro. I'm not finding this stuff out. Plus,

First of all, don't cheat. Second of all, don't tell me you cheated, posted it on Reddit, and I'm the criminal. Yeah, facts. You told the internet. It's free game. If you're posting it online, it's free game. But yeah, it's a bit mad. But yeah, at the same time, the confidence that she has to be like, I'm trying to sue this priest. Does someone help me? No one should be helping you do anything. Facts. Facts.

You posted it on Reddit for goodness sake. Yeah, you don't get to cheat on your husband and post it on Reddit and then when shit comes to bite you in the ass, you be like, fuck this priest. Yeah. This is your cake. This is your cake, bro. Eat it. What did the comment say? There you go. Don't cheat at all. Oh, here we go. Would you have done the same thing if it was the husband? Shut up, man. She's more worried about her priest. Her priest fouls instead of her own foul.

Oh, that's a twist-a-rooney. That's a twist-a-rooney. Never been so close to hitting a like. That's facts. Can't feel bad for a person that cheats, but the pieces of break, the pieces of break of vows are both gone wrong. Don't cheat. Only confess to God, not humans. What?

- Oh. - Why don't they do that when one of their homies touches children? - All right, next, next. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Next. - Next seggy, next seggy, next seggy. - Charge, charge, charge. - Right. - It's a family show. - So I've got a dilemma. - All right, hit me bro. - So I found this one.

- I didn't find it. A few people sent this to me from the old classic Six Brown Chicks page. They get the juiciest dilemmas. - They do. - I'm not gonna lie, they deserve their flowers 'cause we've been asking for dilemmas for years now and we've had some juicy ones, but these months they consistent with their juice. - They do, always, always is wild. - So props to them.

Right. This one. All right, hit me. I left my wife of 23 years for a younger woman who works at the car wash. Jesus. He saw a fantasy around me. I left my wife for a 23-year-old woman. No, no, no. Sorry. Of 23 years. 23 years. For a younger woman. For a younger woman who works at the car wash. Jesus. I tell her about life, show her around, et cetera.

I spend a little money on her, not too much. - Irrelevant information. - Irrelevant. - Irrelevant information. - I love when people speckle dust of deceit. - Yeah, everywhere. - Try to distract me with stuff. Get to the point bro. I noticed she had my number saved under wisdom on her phone.

That shows age difference already. I'm unattractive already. Under wisdom on her phone. I figured she called me wisdom because I teach her so much about life. My 18 year old daughter sent me a TikTok video that my young girlfriend made. In the video, she said, I'm so poor. I'm fucking an old man who's shaped like a wisdom tooth.

- No! - What a plot twist. - Fam, I'm so poor, I'm fucking an old man who's shaped like a wisdom tooth and he has the audacity to be cheap.

And then him. Where do I go from here? Confront her or just move on? I'm hurt and embarrassed. Advice. There is no advice. Wow. TikTok. Not even a tweet, bro. She didn't care. She didn't care if he saw it. My daughter sent it to me. It's your fault. Why are you leaving your wife of 23 years for a fucking car wash lady? It's your fault. It's your fault. You report you so much. She has nothing to do but make TikToks. Facts, bro.

- Facts bro, you reap what you, oh my days man's asking for help. - Bro advice, I left my wife and this new ting is- - It's embarrassing. - Passing me on TikTok. She said I look like a wisdom dude. - Women are so specific. - You know what a wisdom dude looks like? It's fat and it's got two little legs. That's crazy bro. It's fat on top and it's got two skinny little legs.

A man said I'm saved as wisdom. Is it because of... I teach her so much about life. Wow.

Oh, it's because man's fat on top. Yeah, sir. That's a spinaroonie like you said. Wow. What do I do? There's nothing you can do, my good sir. It's charged. The fact that your daughter had to send that to you. Address your midlife crisis and move on. Facts. That's such secondhand embarrassment as the child. I would never want to see that. I'm so poor. I'm dating an old man who's shaped like a wisdom tooth.

And he's cheap too. And he has the audacity to be cheap. The audacity to be cheap is relentless. Bro, me and my, if I find myself a bachelor at 60 and there's a young teen that wants it and I'm gassed and I find TikToks of her saying, I'm dating a man who's, oh, I can't even say it. He's shaped like a wisdom tooth. My hand will shake and shake and shake. I crack the iPhone 16. I crack it in my hand.

My 18 year old showed me this. She's been seeing it. Facts, bro. I couldn't click on the comments. You can never. Yeah. You can never. That's that moment. I would stare at myself in the mirror for hours. You would. It's one of them ones where I wouldn't discuss it with my daughter or my child or whatever, but I would also know she's got the leverage for years. She gets what she wants. She gets what she wants. She gets what she wants. And I'm hitting the gym. Facts. Cause I've embarrassed my surname. Bro. Oh,

She has to move on. She has this story until the day she dies. When people ask about her dad, this is what will come to her mind. - Wow, factual, factual. - He left my mom after 23 years of marriage for a car wash chick. And he found, I found out that she was cussing him on TikTok. Said he shaped like a wisdom tooth. - I would find a, what's that thing where you like go away from your parents? What's it called?

- Like emancipation? - Yeah, I'd emancipate. - Yeah. - I'd have to emancipate. - If you're the daughter. - I can't be tied with that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can't. - I can't be tied with that. - You can't, you can't, you can't, you can't. - That's bonkers, bro. - It's the worst. - That's the worst level of embarrassment I've ever heard. - It's the worst thing, bro, because I can, forward thinking, I can see

the midlife crisis. And I can see, I thought I was down and out. And this young ting wants me. She wants me. Only to be told on the internet that I'm a fucking joke. And I've got the audacity to be cheap. That last bar, the audacity to be cheap. It's not my fault. It's not my choice. Bro, you think old and rich just, yeah. They collate. I'm just old. Yeah, fat.

i'm just old bro damn she wanted that silver fork oh i'm so poor and she's she's using me as an example of how sad her life is facts do you know how horrible that is she's using me as an example to say look how bad my life is look at what i'm doing with my man everyone feels sorry for me he's shaped like a tooth that's brazy that's

- Oh, bro. That's nuts. - That is nuts. - Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - What a good dilemma. Dilemma solved. - Yeah, it's a juicy one. - Right, so we've got a thread. - Yep, yep, yep. - Everyone's been sending me this thread all week. One thing I'm gonna address, one thing I'm gonna address before we do this thread is that this is another South African friend, yeah?

Yeah. Right. So let's clear the air with you, man. Let's clear the air. Facts. Because this week you might have been getting carried away. Facts. So last time we did a South African thread, me and Fiyad mentioned that half of the thread was in English and half of it wasn't, right? So we said that it was gibberish. Mm-hmm.

Now, there's a mishap here in intended use of the word gibberish. Facts. We use gibberish for everything. If I hear someone with a stri accent, that's gibberish. That's just noise. If someone's speaking overly intellectually to me and I can't understand it, you're speaking gibberish. If I'm in France, gibberish. Spain, gibberish. Yeah.

- When I saw that you man thought that we were saying that your mother tongue is gibberish, fam, this is actually dread. Let me actually do this because I was alone in my bed and I had to, I'm not gonna lie to you, man. I was so confused I had to Google what gibberish actually meant. - Family, someone on Twitter,

- I reposted the video and then someone quote tweeted that and saying, I can't believe they spoke, they called it gibberish, blah, blah, blah. And put the definition under it. - I had to Google what the definition of gibberish meant. 'Cause I thought there's no way a nation is this angry. - A nation.

An entire nation is this angry about saying gibberish. I call everything gibberish. And no one said anything. What does it mean? Because gibberish just means I don't understand. Yeah, mumble. Yeah, gibberish just means I don't understand you, bro. So when I read it, I was like, bro...

Bro, whatever gibberish, yeah? Noun. Unintelligible. Oh, God. Meaningless. Oh, God. Bro, nonsense. Oh, God. Whatever that was like, raw. Okay, my bad, my bad. Raw, raw, raw. Apologies. Yeah, you're stronger, you're stronger. Yeah, you're stronger, you're stronger. My bad, my bad, my bad. If you man thought that...

We were saying that your language is meaningless. - And unintelligible. - And unintelligible. - Come on, man. - Bro, we're sorry. - We are sorry. - Obviously we did not, we're not saying that. - Jeez. - Fucking hell, bro. When I read that, I was like, "Wha?" So, all seriousness, guys, if you genuinely thought that's what we meant and that's how you took it,

our sincerest apologies. We would never ever, ever say that your mother tongue is unintelligible or meaningless. - Facts. - The way we use the word, it just means I don't understand. That's literally it. So again, apologies. We love you South Africa. Oh, another thing, I need to hold my hands up.

- I said that man was Swahili. - Swahili, yeah. - I'm not gonna lie. - That's Kenyan, I'm sure he's a Kenyan. - He's a bear East African. I just Googled that too. - Yeah, I think it's Kenyan. - You might have put me on game this week because that's just what I thought. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's just what I thought. - When you said it, I wasn't sure, but I also didn't have the balls to correct you. - Yeah. - 'Cause I wasn't, do you know what I mean? - Yeah, you don't know. - It was one of them ones where, it's one of them ones where like, I was also saying it to say it. I wasn't actually,

I didn't know where I didn't know who said Swahili I just said it again didn't mean to be offensive I just said it so then I had to google what language they speak in South Africa first of all it's like 26 oh yeah there's a few yeah I was like damn bro so again if you were offended by that

- I'm sure one is like Kosa or something like that. - Oh fam? - Yeah. Like XHSA or something. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, guys, let's have a clean slate. - Yeah. - We love you. You love us man. - We love you. We didn't mean it. Please don't be vexed. - Come on man. - But yeah, you might have juicy, juicy threads as well. So let's start burn bridges. - Facts bro. - Let's start burning bridges. - Facts, 'cause you guys provide the content. We just spread the word. - Yeah. - But, all right, start us off. - Anyway, the title of the thread is,

That phase where you slowly start hating your girlfriend is crazy. This might be one of the funniest threads. It's one of the funniest stories I've ever seen in my entire life. Bro, I was in the barber's screenshot and wanted to save for the show, like holding my breath. I was in the chair holding my breath so I didn't fuck my partner. It's hilarious. Yeah, bro. It's fact, right. You can kick us off and then we're just going to run it. All right. You'll be wondering why your day is going so well. Her battery died. Bro, bro.

Oh my God. This is nuts. You'll be having a bad day and when she hugs you, it becomes even worse. That's nuts, bro. Oh my God. Then someone commented under that, her hug feels like you're getting mugged. Man said, I remember this one time on a weekend, she said she was coming. Yo, I cried. Bro.

Donnie said pretending to be asleep and murmuring her girl best friend's name in a sexy way so that she gets a reason to leave. Oh my days, bro. That's insanity. That is insanity. Because you're risking a broken nose. You're risking a broken a lot of things. That's insanity. Facts. When she says talk to me and you know she's not worth the effort so you just tell her it's fine. Yeah. Oh.

That's tough. She's not worth the effort. Talk to me, you know? Bro, when her kisses start to feel like being licked by a dog. Ah! Nah. This one. It's a comment and then it's a screenshot of a text message. It says, when you know deep down this isn't a typo. And then the text says, I wish you were her. Yeah. Oh, and then comment here. Yeah. Nah.

Bro, slight pause in this. The reason this is so funny is because all Brares know this feeling. Oh yeah, facts. It's not always with a girlfriend. It could just be with a ting. Ting, yes, yes, yes. And this ties into that PNC mentality as well. Yes, yes, yes, yes. And you're just like, don't touch me. Don't speak to me. I'm done with you. Bro, when you wake up and see that good morning handsome and you're just like,

Fuck off. Fucks, bro. Fuck off. What is this? I'm not handsome to you. I'm not your handsome. I'm not your man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're butters, bro. Stop. Have I been banging you for three months? Yes. But am I over it? Yes. Bro. Oh, God. When you're wondering why you're having such a peaceful day and it turns out she was giving you the silent dreamer.

Brutal. When you keep messing up on purpose so that she gives you a reason to break up and she keeps forgiving you. Damn. Jaren. Fam, this one, when you receive her text and it's like a debit order. Fam, a text from your girl is like someone asking you for money. Oh my days. You'll be ghosting her and she will still be texting you like, I just want to make sure you're okay. You can talk to me. I don't want to throw my phone. Bro. Oh, this one was the craziest one.

when you have to spit on her back to pretend that you came because she doesn't turn you on anymore. - That's uncalled for. - That's actually beyond out of order. - Yeah, that's uncalled for. - That's too far. That one had replies. - I can imagine. - That one had replies, bro. - This one, you start asking yourself things like, does she have to chew when she eats? - Yeah. Bro, the infuriation. Wow.

When you open a text thinking it's from the woman you actually want, but it's from her. Savage. When she holds your hand in public and you feel like cutting it off. Oh my God. That made me snort. Oh my God. Wow. Oh my God. When she says, I'll call you when I get home, then you switch off your phone and remove the battery. The removal of the battery is crazy. He doesn't want to communicate with anyone. There's no chance you're getting through to me.

Remove the battery. Brazy. Oh, right. When you walk past a group of niggas with her on purpose and no one tries to take her off your hands. That's a next level. When you no longer have an ego about her, that's another level. Fam, this one. This one might be the same as yours. When the problem asks you what the problem is.

- This one? When her smile takes away yours. - No! - Oh God. - Oh God. - This is the funniest one. - When you decide to unlock your phone so she could check any time.

Oh my God. Sometimes having a girlfriend is like having an op you're forced to see. Oh my God. Jesus. I think I'm done. Same bro. I think I'm done bro. Wow. Wow. Thread.

What a thread, man. Wow. What a thread. What a day. Right. We're going to leave the episode there for you guys. Thank you very much. Facts. Again, SA, we love you. We're sorry. We do love you with all our hearts. With all our hearts, bro. That was a tough week. Some guy said, man, some guy commented,

On one of our videos. These men think my tongue is gibberish, yeah? Well, take this. And he starts to be in bars. I had to translate all of them. Basically, it's suck your mum. I said, raw! Suck your mum. Jesus. It was nuts. Oh my day. Anyway, guys, thank you for today. Thanks. It's been good. Always. Love, love.

Let's talk about something that's not always top of mind, but still really important. Life insurance. Why? Because it offers financial protection for your loved ones and can help them pay for things like a mortgage, credit card debt. It can even help fund an education.

And guess what? Life insurance is probably a lot more affordable than you think. In fact, most people think life insurance is three times more expensive than it is. So with State Farm Life Insurance, you can protect your loved ones without breaking the bank. Not sure where to start? State Farm has over 19,000 local agents that can help you choose an option to fit your needs and budget. Get started today and contact a State Farm agent or go to statefarm.com.

Hello, this is Danny Pellegrino, host of the Everything Iconic podcast, and I'm here to tell you all about Splash Refresher because hydration is mandatory, but boring is not. Now, I love my water, but if I don't spice it up, I'm not going to finish what I took out of the fridge. That's why I love my Splash Refresher, which is flavorful, delicious, bright, hydrating, and zero calories. The wild berry flavor is my fave. No, wait, is

Is the pineapple mango flavor my fave? You know what? All five craveable Splash Refresher flavors are my fave because they're so delicious. So get hydrated and enjoy it with Splash Refresher. Love. Gang, gang, gang. Bless. Bless.