MOST EVIL THING SOMEBODY HAS SAID TO YOU | EP 323 | ShxtsNGigs Podcast
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Crapopolis, and so many more. - That's right guys. If you're looking for your favorite animated shows, there's only one destination you need to remember. Hulu Anim Mayhem, your animation destination now streaming on Hulu. - He would have been looking at his phone, eyes wide. - Eyes wide, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. That's all he's thinking. He's texting me, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run. She's clocked, she's clocked, she's clocked, she's clocked.

Right guys, you guys are obviously used to how we do things over here at S&G. Yeah, yeah. And for now, we are about to start with the question of the week and the question of the week is...

Most evil thing someone has said to you during an argument. And that's unusual. Oh, I know this was vicious. Yeah, it was vicious. A lot of them were very repetitive. A lot of them was like, oh, I wish you weren't born and blah. All these born stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All these born stuff. Your mum this, your dad that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The typical stuff you say in like primary school. All right. But just before you start, hit me. I want to apologize to everyone for my mood last week. Oh.

I just want to put it out there. I really want to apologize for my mood last week. I was going off like an hour of sleep. I wasn't putting two and two together. I wasn't in the right headspace. I took out on you. I took out on Rem. I took it out on the question that you asked the fans. And that wasn't fair. Oh, the festival thing. Yeah. Yeah. That bullshit festival thing. I was angry. Yeah. And I took out on everyone except for Ellis. So this week I'm going to do the opposite. I'm only going to take out on Ellis. Okay.

I'm playing. Buckle up. But right. Yes, I'm in a much better mood. I've slept more and I'm feeling juicy. Cool. Most evil thing someone has said to you during an argument. I don't want kids with you because your brother has cancer. What? Just as in the genes. Bro. Damn, man. Damn, indeed. Damn, indeed. Shit. All right. That's what we're staff. You give off big dick energy, but it's just so disappointing.

- Outline. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd pick her up. - I'd pick her up from a head-top like that. From a cranny like that. - Oh, it's just so disappointing. - It's just so disappointing. Now I see why you were bullied for most of your life.

That was, if you're, if you were bullied and you slowly like worked your way back up to like a place where. - Of self respect. - Self respect. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's gonna. - Self love. Yeah, that's gonna send you straight back to your life. - Straight back to the pits. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Wow, now I see why you're bullied for most of your life. - Yeah, that will trigger me. I'll say why, bully me then. Bully me then, see what I do. Bully me then. - Fact. - I'm not gonna take it anymore. - Fact, I'm a grown man now. I'm in the streets now. Wow. - Oh God. - I told my ex that her best friend gives head better than her.

Oh, okay. That's crazy. That's a death wish. That is bravado and that is a death wish. Yeah, that is a death wish. You can't be doing stuff like that, man. Your best friend gives better head than you. That kind of stuff will send a woman crazy. You can't sleep that night. You can't sleep that night. 100%. You better have sent that via text. Of course. And you better be abroad. Of course. God forbid they've made up.

Because she's coming for her that night. The bread drink. Yeah. God forbid they've made up. Oh, God. Yeah. God forbid indeed. Jesus Christ. I'll never have the balls to say that to someone. You just can't. You just can't. Even if I really, really, really, really wanted to. Yeah. I'll never have the balls. Yeah. That's a, that's a take. Next one. I hope all of your life's joys disappear. Damn. That's why your hairline starts behind your ears. What?

That's crazy. That's far. That's far back. That's the U-Ting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's his face from The Office? Kevin? Or Toby? Nah. He's spoken to Pac-Man. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got that. He's got that. He's got that. That ring thing is nuts. That's a perfect toupee top. It is. They glue that bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He looks pristine again. Yeah. All right.

I can give you the number to all of my hoes and they'll tell you that you get the best treatment. That's a double entendre. It is. Yeah, that's a compliment and a meanie mean at the same time. Yeah. Wow. My boyfriend said, if you don't get me off tonight, I swear I'll be fucking someone else in the morning. I swear on it. The swear is what takes the cake. I swear I'll be fucking someone in the morning. I swear I'll be fucking someone in the morning.

What? If you don't get me off tonight. That's a threat, bro. That's the definition of a threat. If you don't get me off. And she wouldn't know what to do. Yeah. Because she doesn't want to lose him. Facts. But also, she can't be treated like that. She can't be. So she doesn't want to get him off. She can't be treated like that, bro. The gym is literally a 15-minute walk from here. If your heart can't handle that level of intensity, I don't think it can handle this relationship. Facts!

If your heart can't handle this level of intensity. That's a secret fact. Wow. I'm not trying to fat shame anyone, but yeah. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your mother should have let that lady kidnap you. You good, Ellis? Yeah. Yeah, you sure? Jesus Christ.

- Cause that was sent the fear coming straight back to that moment. - Yeah, facts. - Because I remember losing my mom in like Debenhams when I was a youth. - Swear. - I was crying. - Swear. - I was crying. Them turnarounds like mom. - Yeah. - Mom, and you don't want to shout. - Yeah. - Mom, mom, mom. - Gone. The fear that runs through your fucking veins. - Were you with your brother or no? - On my ones bro. - I mean,

- Was your brother with your mum? - Yeah, my brother was with my mum. - Yeah, that's what I meant. - Yeah, my brother was with my mum. They were gone. - What were you doing, bro? Were you like, do you see something? - I was probably just playing. Me and my brother used to play hide and seek in the clothes, bro. I'm sorry, we used to play hide and seek in the clothes. - Fair, fair, fair. - So I probably just, I probably stayed in there too long. - You hid for ages. - And my brother stopped seeking. - Yeah, yeah, you hid it, he stopped seeking. - I hid it for ages. I was like, this dickhead can't find me. Peeked out, they were gone.

I cried. - Who resolved it? - My mom found me. - Oh, I thought it was like an announcer too. - Yeah, you know what's dreaded as well? 'Cause it's like, you hear that, "James, James." And you're like, "Thank God, ran to my mom. "Bat, bat, don't you ever, ever." - You were like, "Bat." - "Bat, bat, don't you ever." - Oh, you started thinking I should've stayed hidden. - Yeah, I should've stayed hidden. - I should've stayed hidden. They should've kidnapped me. - Yeah. - Yeah, they should've kidnapped me.

- 'Cause I won't be getting treated like this. - Yeah, I'll be getting sweets. - I'll be getting sweets in exchange for socks. I'm just getting thumped. - I'm playing, "Low me, low me, low me, low me." Too far, too far, too far, too far, too far, too far, too far, too far. - TF, TF, TF, TF, TF, TF. - Too far, too far, too far, too far, too far, too far, too far. Oh God. - All right, back to it. Most evil thing someone has said to you during an argument. My boyfriend called me a painted on eyebrowed cunt.

- Wow. - Jesus. That C bomb is what really kicked it off. - It did. It did. The streets don't like that word. - Wow. - Painted on. It's such broken English as well. - It is. You have to slow down as you read it. - It is. It's a bit of a tongue twister. - Oh God. - You look like God made you with his eyes closed. I think about it often and repent. Peek. - Damn. - Peek.

My ex dumped me. I cried and told him how much I loved him. His exact words were, you're so pathetic. It's tough. Crying, begging, you're so pathetic. That's insane.

Spoiler alert, I'm gonna try, I'm not gonna give any names. Top boy, there's a bit in there where someone fucks about. They come to their senses and they beg someone else for forgiveness. And say, if I fix it, can you give me a pass? Man said, fuck your pass. They said, all right, bet. Please, if you're not gonna give me a pass, I'm begging you.

Do not hurt my family. I know what you're going to do to me. Yeah. Just don't hurt my family. Yeah. Man said, stop begging. It's pathetic. No, he said, it's disgusting. Oh,

He said, don't beg, bro. It's disgusting. That's when you know that these are like real road. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't beg. Yeah, don't beg. Because I gave you an opportunity and you fucked up. Yeah, yeah, you fucked it. So deal with the consequences. Deal with the consequences. Don't beg, my bro. And they're like, bro, please, please, please, please, please. It's calm. I get it. You're going to murder me. I've charged my life from here. But the fam? Please, I'm begging you. Leave them alone. Man didn't even entertain the question. I just said, don't beg. It's disgusting.

The fear? - I promise you, I would have to take his life there and then. Because you're saying I'm X'd and you're saying my fam is X'd and you're saying I'm disgusting. - Tipping point. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got nothing left to lose and you've left me with no dignity. - Facts. You have to take his life then and there. - I have to take him out then.

That's crazy. That is crazy. But the repercussions are long for him though. If he does take him out, then obviously I don't know the scenario because I'm not seeing it yet. But if he does take his life, then there's peak. Facts. But yeah, I've got a few left. Most evil thing, right? You should be running on the treadmill instead of running your mouth. Oh, Jesus. Mad. All right. You have to say this one to me, right? All right. Say to me, I know you're cheating on me. In character. All right. I know you're cheating on me. And? No.

- And? - There's nothing I can say. - There is nothing you can say. - And it hurts my feelings. - And? - And? What are you gonna do about it? - I don't care. - I'm vexed, I ruined my camera. - Soz bro. - I'm all about the drama sometimes. - This is the reason why you can't lose weight. You're too full of shit. - That's intelligent. - That is intelligent. - Yeah, wow. - Yeah. - I wouldn't know what to say, 'cause I know I'm dealing with a pro. - Yeah, he's been doing this. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Been doing this. - This is why you can't lose weight, you're full of shit.

Yeah, man. Damn. Smart with it. Yeah. Even if I was on the receiving end, I'd be like, fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boss. It's a boss. And I'm vexed because it seems like you've been waiting to say that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Damn, dickhead. Dickhead indeed. There's no difference between you and them New York rats. Damn. Jesus. Them thing are big as well. Fuck. I've been cheating on you for the past five months. She's pregnant and she's keeping it.

- That's not even him trying to be mean. - Yeah. - It's just a case of... - I charge and it's gonna have to be cut, bro. - Yeah. - I'm not dealing down. - I don't have time to take your feelings into consideration. - Yeah, facts. - I've lost everything. - Everything. So I'm just telling you the facts one by one by one. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I'm gonna leave. - Facts. - Yeah, that's- - Do it that way you will. - The thing is with me, yeah, this is why I'm not a completed human being. - A completed? - Completed. Like I'm not like,

I'm just not mature enough. There's certain tendencies in my personality that I know I'm not mature enough. And I have a tipping point for everything. An emotional tipping point. Okay. Where I can like be composed, empathetic, take people's feelings into consideration and delicate. That's a scenario where even the love of my life, I can't take your feelings into consideration because it's like my life is,

isn't smithereens yeah i've lost you i've lost this this house i've lost this life and now i have to deal with this bitch and her kid your kid yeah i don't have it in me to be like grovelly and apologetic and all that kind of stuff i have to just run up in there like babe it is what it is i'm a dog i did some dog shit i'm gonna leave bro

- Because you can't take me back. - Yeah, exactly. - You can't take me back. - Because while this is going on, if you think I'm apologizing for the rest of this ting, I haven't got it in me. I'll take my life. I haven't got it in me, bro. I haven't got it in me. I haven't got it in me to deal with her. I can't afford whatever's coming in the next six months. - What did you say you would do? - I'll take my life. - This is not funny, guys. - Bro. - It's just the worst smile. - Yeah. - I'll take my life. I'll take it.

Fuck. Bro. Yeah, I can't entertain certain stuff. Oh, facts, bro. I literally, it's the same thing when I said about like, when these lot meet up, when the side chick meets up with the wife and then they pincer you together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't have time. I have the time. I don't have the emotional maturity to take care of both of you in this situation. Over it. I'm sorry, but I'm dead behind the eyes at that point. Yeah.

Fair enough. My soul shatters and I just move on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fair, fair, fair. Makes sense. All right, I've got two more, yeah? Yeah, go ahead. Most evil thing someone has said to you. Something someone has said to you during an argument. Nobody wants you but me. And if they do, it's because of what you've got going for yourself. That doesn't make any sense. I'm assuming he's just saying tits.

- Probably. - I'm assuming- - Either something physical or probably like- - It's external. - Your- - I doubt he's talking about her master's degree. - Yeah, it's probably like pretty privileged or something. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something you'll go for, you're just cheeked up. - Yeah, that's it. No one else wants you though. Nobody else wants you. This might be the worst one. This is the last one as well. Your sister never gives me these problems. - That's the craziest chat. - Fredrin? - For that to be the reveal, that's-

- You'd freeze. - Your sister never gives me these problems. If I receive that, I don't know who I'm slicing first. Do you know what I'm saying? - Bro. - I don't know who I'm slicing first. - Imagine your love saying, "James doesn't chat this much shit. He just fucks me and moves on."

I can't entertain this conversation. I actually can't entertain that conversation because I'm there. He blows my back out, pays some bills and dips like a man. James doesn't give me these problems. I can't hear the love of my life say that. I couldn't. Wow. I couldn't. Because everything's charged. Yeah, of course. A lot of mouths are not going to be fed anymore. Yeah, bro.

- Wow, you man would have, you man would better start looking for jobs. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's what I'm saying. Indeed. - Indeed. - Indeed, bro. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, bro. - Indeed, bro. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, bro. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. - Indeed, indeed. -

I'll lob my phone. That's another thing where I'm dead behind the ice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fair, fair, fair. I don't have time for your emotion, her emotion, my own emotion. I've lost everything. Every single thing, bro. Damn. Anyway, welcome back, guys. We've been two-step hardcore on so many words recently. Jesus. What did we say in Manchester? I can't remember. You ran over and spotted me. Fam, we said a whole sentence at the same time. Oh.

- It was to conclude, was it Manchester? - I believe so. - It was Manchester walking down the corridor, the hallway and you said, you both said you just charged it until the next one, I think. - Something like that. - Word for word at the exact same time. It was crazy. God, that dressing room was hot.

Fuck yes it was. The dressing room was hot. Uncomfortably. Anyway guys, welcome back. Happy Monday. Fun day. We love you as always. If you came to see us on tour the last couple of weeks, again, thank you. It's been a trip, man. It has been a trip. The Log Cabin Tour is officially over and we're onto bigger and better things moving forward and we can't wait to share the information with you. So if you want to hear about the new things first, head on over to patreon.com forward slash logcabin.

Schicks and gigs, okay? Indoctrinate yourself into our little ting that we got going on. Our little ting, that's not so little because we're booked and busy and the daddies take care of you. - We do. - We take care of you over there. So head on over right now, digest all of the content that we've put on over there. All of the content that we've put on there over the last few years. Binge away, get the updates, get the discounts.

Join the Discord. Facts. Chirps a ting. Facts. Three pound a month. 10p a day. Run the P to S and G. Come on, dog. Okay. In the meantime, guys, if you are listening to us on any audio platform, please leave us a nice review. Five stars is preferable, but whatever you say. Say it with your goddamn chest. And guys, if you are watching us on YouTube, please subscribe to the channel. And without any further ado, we have the game of the day. It's time for... Top five. Top five.

Let's go guys. Everyone grab your board, grab your markers. You're playing at home. Get ready. Steady. What's the scores? 12-7-3 at the moment. 12-7-3. Yeah. Okay. It's gonna be five episodes to break even. Steamrolling ahead, bro.

Steam rolling ahead. We're going to need a new game at this point. The top five this week is the countries with the highest number of McDonald's restaurants. Oh my God. Okay. That's a cool one. That's very cool. I like that. That's anyone's game. That's very cool. That is anyone's game. When you say countries, I'm like, fuck, but McDonald's is fine. Countries with the highest number of McDonald's restaurants. Right. Got it. Okay, I'm locked.

Oh, fuck me. Damn, bro. Damn. Might be completely wrong. First thing's what came to my head. Yeah, I'm locked. Rem? Locked. Oh, we're all locked? Yeah, man. Oh, let's go. Cool. Ellis, since you were first and quick with it, pause. Top five, please. Cool. So, gone for Japan, India, USA, UK, and Australia. Nice, bro. Cool. Rem? Rem?

I've gone for USA, Canada, Australia, China, Russia. Russia. China. That's what I'm... Jimmy? USA, UK, Japan. I've gone France and Canada. Number 10, Philippines. Okay. Cool. Number 9, which only two of you wrote, Australia. Number 8, Brazil.

I was thinking Brazil. I was close to right. I was thinking Brazil. Number seven, UK. Oh, shit. Oh, God. There's loads in the UK. Number six, Canada. Fuck. Oh, my days. Number five, Germany. Nobody wrote Germany. France and Germany, I was tossing. Pause. Pause. What? France and Germany, I was tossing. Dual handed. Number four, France.

France Number three Japan come on Number two China no way I Didn't know the Communist Mandem would have it like that. I'm not gonna lie to you and number one Obviously USA one has to be USA, but yeah, so it's twos is it nah. I've got three Jimmy one So three two two fun facts

Russia has no McDonald's in their country. - It was a stab in the dark because of obviously- - That's what I said, these communist man them, I didn't expect them to have it. - Yeah, I should have deeped it. I did take it into consideration, but I still went with it anyway. - Two other countries that don't have McDonald's, can you guess? - Two other countries that don't have McDonald's, Mexico. - North Korea. - Mexico definitely has them. - Nope. - North Korea. - Maybe, but it's not on this list. - Oh, all right. Two other countries that don't have McDonald's, Iceland.

Well fucking played. Yes, Iceland. Good shout, bro. Let's go. I knew it'd be Iceland. Why? It's so isolated. It's so isolated. They haven't got fuck all. Fair. In Russia. In the best way. Iceland. And there's one more. According to this list. Just fucking Ukraine? Nah, Kazakhstan. Fair. Yeah, no one's getting that. Well, fair play for Iceland. That's a part of Russia, right?

- Is it? - I think maybe actually, I think so. - Is it? - Now you say that. - It's got its own flag, so I don't know. - I might be wrong by the way. - It's got its own flag, that's what I'm saying. - I don't think so. - It's its own country, but as in- - Just like Ukraine used to be part of Russia. - Yeah, it's got borders. - It's on ends. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's their neighbors. - It's Russia adjacent, say less.

Well played on that one, Ellis, though, for getting Iceland. But yeah, Jimmy, so he's what, 13? 13. I need to think of new games because this is bullshit. He's giving up on the squad. This is bullshit. What's all this, bruv? Well played. All right, gang, thank you for that, G. I needed that dub. Right, so you've got a dilemma for us. I do. I'm a 38-year-old divorced mum and I have a 13-year-old son.

who I successfully co-parent with my ex-husband, no drama. My ex and I have always had different views on certain aspects of parenting. I'm African, he's Aussie, so you can imagine the polarity. Anyway, my son is 5'11", captain of the rugby team, and can be quite charming and hilarious when he wants to.

These are all good things. However, I started to notice that when he was 11, that he started to get a lot of attention from females, including much older females. I mean, actual women. When he was 11? Disgusting. He must be peng. He must be... How about that's disgusting? It is disgusting. Don't get me wrong. For example... For example...

When he comes by my office, I'd get a lot of girls in their 20s commenting on his disarming looks and say they're putting him on. They're putting him on what? I don't know what that means. On bae lay-by. Oh, on like bae lay-away almost. Oh, I'm assuming that's what she's trying to say. Yeah, like benching him for bae. Okay, okay, okay. Cool. He's next up. Hmm.

Now this all seems harmless but it does raise alarm bells. Especially being in Asia where this kind of thing is fetishized. What like black people being fetishized. I've experienced this myself. I've always been scared he'll get taken advantage of by older women.

Now, recently my son told me he had a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend who is two years older than him. She's going, she's 15 going on 16. On one hand, I love that my kid can freely have these kinds of conversations with me. But on the other hand, I don't know how I feel about these older girls, about this older girlfriend situation at his age. He's 13 for Christ's sake. I'm worried that because she's older than him, she's gonna teach him stuff.

She's gonna teach him stuff alright. She's gonna teach him stuff. Bro. How old is she? 16? She's going on 16. Yeah, she's gonna teach him stuff. Despite having talked to him several times about sex and wait until he's old enough to bear the responsibilities that come with it, I also know that teenage boys have one thing on their mind and don't really give a fuck what their parents say. I've made my expectations be known to him, but I have no control what he does at his dad's place.

His dad is of the opinion that it's going to happen, so it might as well happen at home. Excuse me? Hell no. I will do whatever it takes to slow the trajectory of this kid having sex. The African parent in me is panicking and wants to nip this little relationship in the bud ASAP.

but i also but i am also careful not to alienate my son to a point where he stops telling me stuff and start sneaking around behind our backs help what do i do knowing what you um were like as young boys are you grateful to have have had a no-nonsense parents or would you have rather they been less strict what would you do with your own kids at the i'm tolerating his little relationship stage

But deep down, my ancestors are uncertain and a whisper in my ear. What kind of new age nonsense is this? P.S. If I don't hear back in four weeks, I'm going with the ancestors. So recap. 30-year-old divorced woman, 13-year-old son, co-parent with her ex-partner. She's African. He's Aussie. Son is 5'11". Captain of a rugby team. Charming. Wedge. Pause. Galley all over him in school. Galley all over him at his mom's work.

Now, a few years down the line, he's got a girl older than him. She's 16 and she's afraid she's going to teach him stuff. Pops is down for it. If anything happens, it's going to happen at yard. She's like, hell fucking no. And I'm going to do everything I can as an African parent to slow this motherfucker down. Thoughts, long story short. Honest opinion. If I was 13...

and I've just patterned a 16 year old baddie, there is not a power on this earth that will stop me from banging this girl. - There's not a Bible passage that will stop you. I promise you, there's not a Bible, Quran, Hanukkah, any, all of them too. - Ancestors or no ancestors, I'm banging this girl. There is nothing on this planet that will stop me. At 13, year eight? - And I'm draws in a 16 year old. - Are you crazy?

Plus, do you think for a second I will be allowed back on the playground if I have to tell the man that couldn't clap it because my mum shut down the dance? Wow, perspective.

I bottled a 16-year-old baddie because my mum shut it down. Perspective. Nah, bro, I'll never recover. Parents will never understand that side of a kid's life. Facts. Ever. Facts. Obviously, they might remember it or they might loosely remember it at their age. This is a paid advertisement for BetterHelp. Bro. Talk to me. Real quick, ask me what my self-care non-negotiables are. What? Grounding. Grounding.

Wim Hof breath work. Yeah. Eight hour sleep. Non-negotiables. Those are three perfect non-negotiables. And I'm proud of you. Thank you very much. I'm very, very proud of you. It's like when people say never skip leg day, but it's never skip therapy day. We all know how easy it is for our schedules to become overwhelmed with social gatherings and other obligations that leave us struggling to make time for the things that fill our own cups. 100%. It's like when your schedule is packed with big work projects and more.

It's easy to let your priorities slip. Even when we know what makes us happy, it can be hard to make time for it.

But guys, when you feel like you have no time for yourself, non-negotiables like therapy are more important than ever. Agreed. And therapy has broader benefits like, for example, learning how to set boundaries in your life so that you feel empowered to be the best version of yourself. Exactly that. With almost 5,000 therapists in the UK already, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a wide variety of expertise. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp.

Betterhelp.com/gigspod today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com/gigspod. - But you're just never gonna remember it when it's your child. - Yeah, of course. - Going back to like, you're right bro, going back to the playground or the mandem or your form class and say you bottled it is the worst thing you can do and you better not lie about it. - Bro, you can't lie about it. - 'Cause they're gonna catch you out. - And plus she's older, but she's still in your school.

So she's telling everyone. So you're ruined from top to bottom. She's in year 10 or year 11. Yeah, I tried to suck him off and his mom ran in and shut it down. She said, I'm going with the ancestors on this one. Yo, yeah. You can't recover. Personally, it's hard to give advice to you because I don't feel like you can fully understand the ramifications of what you're going to put your son through. Yeah. Because...

I feel like that's the reason why the pops is saying if it's gonna happen later, it happened under my roof. 'Cause one, he's a man, he understands like male sexual nature, especially as a young growing teen. But within the same breath,

I understand your logic about wanting to not have this happen at fucking what, 13 years old. Do you know what I mean? That's young. That's scary young. It's scary young. And the thing is, at 13, you think you could tackle pussy if it was presented to you. I couldn't tackle it when I was 16. Oh. Going on 17. Bro, facts. Yeah, I couldn't tackle it then. Facts. So 13, I would have bottled it. The best advice I would say is chat to pops and be like,

You need to put the fear of God in him and let him know, brother, I know you're gassed, but I promise you,

When she puts it down on you, you're going to shit yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Take it as slow as you possibly can. Get comfortable lips in her. Get comfortable dry humping her. Get comfortable thinker in her. Get comfortable with these hand jobs. Put it all off as long as you possibly can before you bang this girl. Because I promise you, you're going to shit the bed. Yeah. And we can't let that happen. We can't. And he will under the kid. Hopefully the kid understands.

and be like, fair, fair. - He just needs to re-instill that fear of if you do shit the bed, the school's gonna find out. - Everyone's gonna find out. - Everyone's gonna find out. - And it's gonna be fucked. - But then he might double down and be like, if I don't fuck it, everyone's gonna find out, so I might as well just bang her. Do you know what I mean? - One example, I shit the bed and I didn't bang her. The other example is at least I got pussy. - Facts. - So I might as well bang her. - I might as well bang her and take the brunt.

I'm 13. Bro, if I was the dad, I would say, bro, I'm gassed for you, but fuck, this is a lot to handle. Let me coach you through this as best as I can. And trust me, keep the lines of communication open and we'll make sure you bang this girl. But please don't rush this. I just realized.

Don't bang it. Don't bang it. Bro, 13. I just deep told underage that is. Oh, okay. Obviously it's underage and I'm not condoning this pedophilia. But same, same. I was 13. And when I tell you when I was 13, man, I was ready. I wasn't ready, ready. But my dick was ready. Ready. Wow. I was fapping at 13. Non-stop. Yeah. Eight flicks. Yeah.

I felt stuff like that. Year eight, James, his cock was sensitive, bro. Yeah, bro. All the time. Yeah, bro. Boner, boner, boner, boner, boner, boner, boner, boner, boner. Wow. So there was no reality where a year 10 slash year 11 ting was putting it on, man. 5'11".

He's in your head. Yeah, I'm just deep. Because when she was going about 5'11", I was like, big whoop. 13? Yeah, he's a man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes to the mom's office and 20-year-old plus. And Gally are like, rah. Hold him for me. He's 13. That's too much power. That's too much power to deal with. He can't wait to turn 18. He can't wait to turn 18. He doesn't know where he's going to clean up. He's making me swallow spit because I can't even imagine it. Yeah, he's...

that's too much power for a young man darling take the innocent child you've got for now because when he's of age yeah it's game over it's game yeah yeah yeah i'll be preparing or not he's not gonna matter be prepared to have grandkids that's all you need he's gonna be used to average pum by the time he's 16. facts and he's so the guy is going to be collecting at 18 he can't pull out he can't he won't yeah anyway yeah they're all facts because they want his genes from early

because they know they're not getting better than this so all i would say is express your concerns to him but the more you add pressure on shutting this down he's going to do it yeah he's going to get it and he's going to rush through it because he's just thinking this is a ticking time bomb i have to find this girl now because my mom is ops facts so i would yeah personally like i said before chat to the dad explain your concerns and be like i know you're a gas for him but

You must know what, you must remember what it's like to be 13. He can't handle this. And if he fucks this up, the whole school is going to be the laughing stock of the whole school. He's got a great opportunity. Don't fuck it up. And the dad will be like, oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Because yeah, there's no way I can handle this in year eight. There's just no way I can handle this in year eight. That's too much. Wow. That's too much pressure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll be the best situation I could possibly, possibly imagine. I mean, would it be the best though? Because in year eight and I'm back in the year 10, 11.

It's all good being the buffest guy in the school or whatever, or buffest guy in your year at year eight and all the things wanna bang you. Buff, I get that. I get that. But when it actually comes down to the ass, because you need to understand he will be gassed in school, surrounded by his boys, other people, blah, blah, that's that guy, that's that guy, that's that guy. When it actually comes to the one-on-one situation with a gal, he's gonna be a nervous wreck because he's never done this before. - Of course.

It's a double-edged sword kind of thing. I mean, it is, but like...

You got to get your, he's going to be shook at 13, 14, 15, 16. So shook is shook is shook. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shook is shook. So bro, like he might as well, no, it's not, he might as well get it done now, but he's in a situation now. She's going to want to bang. He's going to be desperate to bang. So who are we kidding here? Damn. Yeah, that's crazy. Who are we kidding here? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He ate. Bro, that's crazy. That was the prime of my holiness. I think mine was like,

Year 8, year 9 was definitely Yeah I would say I would say Year 9 Because I think year 8 Year 8 was when my first girlfriend And my first lips And I've never been so scared Oh fair I've never been so scared I was terrified for my first lips Mine was in year 8 as well My first lips I think I've definitely said it on there before

My sister had a man at the time, obviously year eight I was in boarding school. She was in the same school as well. It was like, I don't know what they called it, but there was a time before dinner, I think either before dinner or after dinner, we had like an hours play. Everyone was just fuck about. So the boys and girls were mixing like the playground per se. And my sister was with her boy at the time

And they had known that me and my girl at the time had never lipsed. - You did tell me this. And they put pressure on you. That's not fair. - Didn't they just? - That's not fair. - So they lipsed in front of me.

And it was like, all right, you two lips now. So they were stood up. - First of all, I'm not watching my sister lips anyone. - First of all, I didn't know them things then. I didn't know what that was then. I was like, all right. I needed guidance. And my sister was all I had. - Fair, fair, fair, fair, fair, fair. - So they lips, they were standing up and me and my girl at the time were sitting down. I remember they lips. - Your heart must've been racing. - James. - He said, you two lips. I looked at her, I looked away.

I looked at her and looked away. I was like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. I was thinking to myself, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. And they were like, I bet they said the worst thing. We'll count you down. No. You man. No. Every second. No, no, no. I would have been terrified. Bro, my heart was beating. He got to one, looked at her pecs and looked away. Yeah, it was a peck. It wasn't a French. It was a peck. Oh.

- Oh, dread. - I don't think I Frenched her for months. - Damn bro. - For months bro. Yeah, we were doing little peck peck things here, there and everywhere. But then I think year nine is when I blossomed because obviously after year eight, year eight was training wheels. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Year nine, the wheels came off. - Year eight's a lot. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, year eight was a lot. - Damn. - That's what I'm saying, sex in year eight, James. - That's crazy. Bro, I think, wait, hang on. - That's what I'm saying, bro. - I'm pretty sure my sister's in year eight. - Yeah, let's move on. - Okay, yeah, let's switch. - Let's wrap this bitch up. - Let's switch the whole fucking conversation.

Now fuck this, what? She's a child. I've just taped it. She's a fucking child. Nah, bro. Nah, I'm over it. I'm over it. He's not banging anyone. Bro. Bro. Bro. That's too funny. Jesus. It's just made sense. Fam, bro. I'm telling you. She's a child. Oh my God. Oh my God. The fear of God in it.

- It's young. - Damn. - So young. - Damn, my year eight perspective through my own eyes, I thought I was a man. - Facts bro. - Jesus, she's a child. - Yeah, it can't pass. - Yeah, moving on. Lock that whole shit down. Forget everything I said. - Facts. - Lock it down. - Have to lock it down, bro. - Good Lord. - It's too young. It's too young. - That's crazy. - Way too young. - Okay, cool. Right, I've got a thread. So this one we've done before.

Maybe even twice, but the internet's re-upped it. So I'm re-upping it. Cool. So typical title of the thread. What's the craziest way you found out someone was cheating on you? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we've asked this question. We've seen this thread. It's gone round. Some of these ones, I've never heard stuff like this before. So craziest way

You found out someone was cheating on you. Just off the bat, bro? The first comment was, your pH balance will tell you everything you need to know about your little relationship. Bro. - Oh my God. - Your pH balance will tell you everything you need to know about your little relationship. - That last bit is like, why man? You've already stabbed me. - Shank and a twist, bro. - Don't twist it, bro. Fuck. - Mad, bro. Right, next one. I jokingly guessed his email password and unlocked the chamber of secrets.

- You didn't. - Yeah. - Don't lie to us. - Bro! - You're saying what I'm thinking. - Fuck. - Jokingly guessed his email password. - Well on the first try, of course. - Bro. - The fuck? - What do you mean jokingly? Was he there? Because if he was, he would've smacked your hands off the keyboard. - Oh rags, that's really odd. - And what's he got going on in his emails? - Bro. - Old school. - That is old school. - Right.

He tweeted at the car lot with bae. I was looking at the four walls of my bedroom. Oh my God. Bro, that's not even funny. That's just poor planning. Yeah. The time management's all over the gap. All over the gap. He'd given up. He had. He'd given up on a shawad. He had. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The girl he was with is bae now. Yeah. Yeah. She got demoted to side bae. Yeah, 100%. And she's probably always been side bae. And he was just like, I can't even be bothered to pretend anymore.

I want to go outside with the love of my life. I'm not pretending anymore. I'm putting it on Twitter for her to deal with it. Yeah, facts. Don't come to me. Blame Twitter. Don't come to me. Blame Twitter. You read what you read what you read, bro. Don't text me again. The algorithm did what it needed to do. You found out. Shut up. Shut up. Oh, God. That second shot obscured me. All right. Oh, this one's dread.

I worked with the other woman's mum. She saw my husband's picture as my screensaver and asked how I knew her daughter's boyfriend. She was probably thinking, rah, small world. The mum was like, rah. Small world? Is that your brother? Screensaver? Yeah, that's a lot. Screensaver. That's what you've been getting. How do you know my sister? My sister? My daughter's boyfriend? How do you know my daughter's boyfriend? She'd be like, pardon? Family? Pardon? Boyfriend? Your screensaver. How do you know him?

Him! That's my husband. - Should we do a list? That's my husband. - That's my husband. That's my daughter's man. - Listen, listen. - Everything, everything will be going wrong that day. - Everything you've worked so hard for is just gone. Bang. - 'Cause he's claiming another girl. Met the mum.

That's too many lives for one man. Yeah, he's ruined it all. He's ruined it all. Why would you put so much energy into that cheat? Yeah, yeah. That's too many lives. Jesus Christ. Met the mum. That's brazen. Jesus Christ. Right. This one's rad. His AirPods went off loudly in his ear, reading out a text message saying, I miss that dick so much. Bro. Wow. In a Siri voice. Oh, God.

I miss that dick so much. Text message from Sarah reading. I miss that dick so much. Reply. Reply. Mad. Mad. To reply, say yes. That's...

- Yeah, bonkers. - Fuck! - Bonkers. - He would have been looking at his phone, eyes wide. - Eyes wide, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. That's all he's thinking. He's texting me, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run. She's clocked, she's clocked, she's clocked, she's clocked. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop everything. - Yeah, bro, run, run, run. She's clocked it, she's clocked it, she's clocked it. He'd be waiting for a fist in his jaw. - Straight away, straight away. Jesus Christ. - That's nuts.

Right. The ex came to the ring doorbell and talked for two hours. This person wasn't female. Bollywood twist, bro. Wow. This person wasn't female. Wow. Our brothers just chatting shit at the ring doorbell. Drunk and in need of closure. I need my man back is what he's saying. I want my fucking man. I know he's in there. Bring him out. I want my fucking man back. As...

the woman in the relationship, how would you handle that? You're in your right yard. Your man is in that yard. - Yeah. - The X man is outside doorbell, same scenario, just going off. What are you doing? - Just jean shorts, ass out. - Jean shorts! - The ass fat as well. - Yeah, it's fat. - And he's chatting shit at the doorbell. - Cropped abs. - Cropped with abs. - Cowboy boots. - Yeah, yeah.

Not a hair on that body. - Mustache, clean shave. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Clean shave and mustache. Not a hair in sight. Oiled. - Veins. - Yeah fam. And he just turns around and just, ah! - Oh my. - Bring him out. Bring him out. I know he misses this. - What you doing? - There's nothing I can do. 'Cause it will also top me up. - Fat. - If he wants to, he's getting in the yard. - Fair, fair. - Oh, I will just cry and cry and cry and cry. Because it's actually dread. Because it's something I actually can't comprehend because as a man,

If the same thing happened with my girl and there's a female at the door chatting shit, I'd probably just laugh. I might be a little bit frustrated. I feel lied to. But I'd be like, what the fuck is this clown show? Get off my doorstep before I bust your head. It's embarrassing for you. Yeah, get the fuck off my doorstep. But a brother saying I want her dick back should be on the floor throwing up. I put a fear of God in me.

she would be throwing up. - Yeah, she'd be throwing up and just crying and wouldn't know what the fuck to do. - I want that dick back. - I need that fucking dick back. Give him back. - That's a- - Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Give him back. - Nah. - Nah, see I'll be scared. The first bang, you know when they bang the door, right? And the other side of your flap exits. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Flap back. - Oh my God. - That's how you know there's weight to that punch. - And the lampshades just swinging. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Give him back.

- Listen, you'd have, the thing is you'd have to call him. - Oh, 100%. - It's also one of them ones where you would feel like such an idiot because you've never seen the signs. You've never ever seen the signs. - Bro. - And it's like, am I the fool here? - Yeah, yeah. - Like, where did I go wrong? - Literally. - Do you know what I mean? - Literally. - Why me? - Literally. - You just look up like, God, why me?

- Oh bro, that's a lot. - That's too much. - That's a lot. - Two hours of this. That's harassment bro. - That is harassment. - I would have called the feds way before hour one. - Time. - Way before hour one. - Bang, bang, bang. Give him back. - Give me that cock back. - Oh God. Yeah, she'd be on the floor. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. She can handle that. That's not fair. - Good Lord. All right. Few more.

scrolling through an X-rated site and saw him there, zoomed in and saw my picture in the background. This is the marital bed. He's clapping a ting on film in the marital, bro. That's nuts. That's unforgivable. That's unforgivable. I would fall out of my computer chair immediately. That is unforgivable. Bro. On Soulja Boy's internet? At X, bro. On DaBaby's internet. Wow.

Just bang, bang, bang. With the picture in the back. With my picture in the back. You didn't even do like clean up. Do you diligence? He didn't care, bro. He didn't care. He wanted his pum and he wanted his pee. Cheeks facts, bro. He wanted cheeks and he wanted money. Facts. Jesus. Right. The person he was cheating. The person he was cheating with told me both times. I took him back just for him to do it a third time. She told me the same day.

That's your business. That's your problem. Bro, that's your fucking business. Yeah, fool me once. Bro, shame on you. Fool me twice? Come on, man. Bro. She came home in the morning tired, hugging me and telling me how much she loves me. I knew from then I was back on the street. That intuition kicked in. That Spidey kicked in. I knew from then I was back on the street. She came home tired.

Hugging me. I love you. I love you. I love you. Man just knew straight away. I don't have a house anymore. She's not been like, she's not been this affectionate in months. Hundred. Months. Why are you so tired? It's morning. Vax, why are you so tired? It's the morning.

I knew I was back on the street. That's jokes. This one. This one was tweeted by someone we know. Really? Fam. Okay. Saw him on deal or no deal with his girlfriend telling him to take the 8K. That is jokes. Bro. I read that tweet. Do you know who wrote that? Audrey. Big receipts. Audrey. Tell him to take the 8K. I'll pray to God it's a rerun.

- I pray to God this is ITV2. - Bro. - And it has to be a rerun. - Pause my sky then and there. Then and there I start belling everyone else. I'll start, if I'm Audrey, I'm belling Tolly. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, Milena, yeah. I'm belling everyone. We need the whole squad. - Lock in. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - This can't be real. - Three brains are better than one. - Facts! Lock in 'cause I need the receipts. Lock in 'cause I need the receipts. Fuck. - Wow, bro. Wow, bro. - Tell him to take the AK.

- I was howling when I read that one. This one's crazy. - Oh God, hit me. - Last one. I found that Adsy was posting to be a bottom boy for transgender women. Bottom boy. A bottom boy, bro. - For trans. - Do you know how mad that is? - A bottom boy. - A bottom boy. - That phrasing. - That BB. - The phrasing because bottom means both things.

A bottom boy. Wow. Ads. Advertisements for these cheeks. Yeah, that. Oh, like what's going on in your life to have to do this? Oh, God knows, bro. Because it's all well and good. If you want to advertise for cheeks, that's your business. But advertising for cheeks whilst you've got a partner. Yeah, it's nuts. It's crazy. It's nuts, bro. What did you expect to happen? Bro, the thirst is more important than this relationship. Facts, bro. The thirst is more important than the guilt.

And if you really wanted it that bad, wait, he wants to get penetrated. - Yeah, he wants to get banged. But he's not gay. He wants to get banged by a woman. - But then just tell your girl to strap, to have the conversation. - Nah, he wants flesh. There's no strap. - He wants to feel the throb. - He wants to feel the throb. - He wants heat. He doesn't want this metallic or rubber nonsense. - None of this plastic bullshit. - He wants heat. - None of this plastic hibbity dibbity bullshit, bro. I want flesh. - Goodness me.

- Bottom. - What do you call him? - Bottom boy. - A transgender women. - Bro. - Wow. - I don't think you understand. Next time any man piss me off, that's the first bar I'm saying. - You fucking bottom boy. - Shut up you little bottom boy. Shut up you little bottom boy. - Because there's no comeback because you like, I've not heard that before. You start stuttering. - Bro. - You bottom boy. - Look at you little bottom boy. Watch him, little bottom boy. Nah.

- I couldn't be called that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've belittled your whole life. - Facts. Wow. - Little bottom boy. - Yeah, man. Funny thread. - Yeah. Very, very, very, very funny. - Well fucking played. - Cool, right. Rem, we're gonna finish on trash news, please, sir. - Let's go. - Let's go, let's go, let's go. Okay, plane turns around mid-flight after passenger has diarrhea. - What? - That's his business. - A lie? - That's his business. - Right, it's everyone's business on the flight. - Get me home. - 'Cause yeah, the flight got spun.

A Delta Airlines flight from Atlanta to Barcelona has had to return to Atlanta after a short trip. Atlanta to Barcelona? It's not short. It's not short. Also, what are people doing in Atlanta going to Barcelona? I'm sorry. I don't want to be rude. I know what you mean, bro. Atlanta to Barcelona. That doesn't add up.

- You man from Atlanta don't have no business in Barcelona. I've never been to Atlanta, but you've got no business in Barcelona. - You got no business in Barcelona, bro. I got to Miami first. - Fact. You have no business in Barcelona, you bottom boy bitch. - The listeners from ATL are going to crucify you two.

- Oh my days. - My DLs are gonna be blowing up. These man are vexed. - Your ATL fans are going to be livid. - ATL niggas don't play as well. - No they don't. - They don't play. - Man said you bomb boy bitch.

- Yo, you're gonna see Quavo in your request bro. You're gonna see man in your request bro. You want him fam, bitch. - Fam, Andre 3000 is about to end you fam. He's gonna come for you. - That's top three funniest things you've said off the cuff. - Oh bro.

Wow, they're going to be angry. Wow, they're going to be angry. All right, cool. Yeah, go on. Here we go. The flight was two hours into its journey when the pilots told the air traffic controllers they were turning back.

The airline confirmed there had been a medical issue on board and that meant the plane had to return to Atlanta to be cleaned. The plane landed in Barcelona eight hours behind schedule. Cleaned. Cleaned. We've got a VN to listen to. Oh, okay. Or this is from the pilot. Oh.

Oh, okay. Reporting. Oh, this is a good black box thing. Yeah. Oh, damn. Okay, cool. You know, we've had a passenger who had diarrhea all the way through the airplane, so they want us to come back to Atlanta. It's a biohazard issue. You know, we've had a passenger who had diarrhea all the way through the airplane, so they want us to come back to Atlanta. They were running coast to coast. They were running coast to coast of shit. All the way through the airplane? Nah. Wow, wow, wow. I...

- Wow. I don't care what, what's the word I'm looking for? I don't care what seat I'm on. Like if the economy toilet's locked, I'm darting to first class. I don't care what you're telling me. Man shut all up and down the runway. - Yeah, that's long. - Wow. - That's the worst thing. That's the worst thing. - That's the most embarrassing. - I'm locking myself in a toilet and I'm not coming out until we're back in Atlanta and everyone's off the plane.

That's the worst way to go out. - Yeah, it is. There's not much more embarrassing. - You might as well open a door, bro. You might as well just open a door. I can't see a way out of this. - Two hours. There were two hours in. - Two hours in, had to U-turn. - Oh, I'm livid. - Man said it's a biomedical hazard or something. - Biomedical hazard. Someone just shot all up and down the plane.

- Dude, that is a hazard. That's a huge hazard. - The worst thing. - I'm not cleaning that. I promise you I'm not cleaning that. - Contagious as fuck. - I'll leave with the rest of the whole thing. - Jesus Christ. - That's horrible, man. - I couldn't be on that plane. I couldn't be on the aisle seat and feel like a speck of splash. A splash of diarrhea just touches me.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - And the thing is you can't even fisticuffs the brother 'cause he's just shitting everywhere. - He's just shitting everywhere. You can't get close. - Every punch he's shitting. - My knuckles will pop. I'm squeezing, my knuckles will pop, bro. Squeezing my fist so tight, my knuckles will pop. - Oh, God. Wow. Wow, crazy, crazy.

- Damn, all right, fair play. Right guys, we're gonna charge that one there. I apologize for Fuhad. I apologize for what he said. Don't send for me. Don't send for me. It's the funniest thing I've heard. - I had to. - But don't send for me. It was too perfect. - It was perfect timing. - It was worth it. It was worth it, bro. Wow, that was funny. All right, but anyway, guys, we're gonna leave you there. Catch us on Thursday on patreon.com. Four-star shifts and gigs, three pound a month, 10p a day. Run the P to S and G. Love, love, love.

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