Chapters
Shownotes Transcript
My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend.
My friend's still laughing me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. I've got an Amai the asshole before we wrap up. Cool, cool, cool. Hit me. Right. Fam, I read this.
It resonated with me. Okay. Not with me personally, but you can just picture where he's at. Yeah, you can put yourself in his shoes kind of thing. Yeah, you can picture where he's at immediately. Okay. Right. So, man said, yo, what's good, guys? Castillo, T. Got this DM, yeah? Yeah. All right. So, man said, yo, what's good, guys? I hope you're doing well. I've got a question.
I had a dream about cheating on my girlfriend the other night. Yeah. I got caught in the dream and I felt terrible. Yeah. I woke up feeling lucky as fuck to have her and I'd never want to let her go. But recently I've been missing my ex. I've been missing my ex. Wait, wait for it. She was toxic and so bad. She used to make me feel suicidal. Am I a bad person for missing her?
Am I a bad person for missing her? Because after I'm done missing her, I hate myself. All right. Sorry. Am I a bad person for missing her? Because after I'm done missing her, I hate myself for it. Any advice on what I can do? I was suicidal. Fam, I love my girlfriend.
Just the other day I had a dream about cheating on her and I woke up shaking. In fear. I woke up in fear. I can't lose her. I can't lose her. But in the back of my mind, I've been missing my toxic ex. Missing the fuck out of her. She had me suicidal. She had me suicidal. What? Fam? That's so sick.
The definition of toxic. That's toxic. What love is in that? Fam, when I read it, my immediate thought was on some Amber Heard ting. On some Johnny Depp Amber Heard ting. Johnny just couldn't leave. He loves her too much. He couldn't let her go. And I bet they used to fuck. After she used to rock his jaw, they used to bang. And she used to cry and apologise. Right.
Before she sat on the bed. Yeah, before she sat on the bed and ruined his life. She used to suck him off. It reminds me of when the one I said, something along the lines of, I love my girl, but my ex sucks me off the way I like it. Just the way I like it. Those words? I can never hear that. He loves his girl, but his toxic ex stays on his mind. This is what they do.
Fuck. They get their claws in you and you can't escape it. It's hard. The venom is in you now. Yeah, literally the venom is in you. You can't part ways. He's... It sounds like he's... He's...
He's almost like a traumatized you. And he associates love with drama. Of course, of course, of course. He associates arguments with love. And he's in this perfect relationship. It's healthy and it feels good. But he needs that drama in his life. It's boring. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's in love, but he's bored. Basically. He's in love, he's fucking bored. So what was it? Am I the answer for thinking about my ex? For wanting her back, yeah. He didn't even say, am I the answer? He said, am I a bad person for missing her?
Because when I was with her, I wanted to kill myself. Fuck. And that gave him life. Yeah. The adrenaline just... Every time my phone rang and I saw her name, my heart would beat. I don't know what the fuck she's going to say. I hated that life, but it's all I know. It was invigorating. It was invigorating. Fuck. Am I a bad person for thinking about her? I mean... No. No?
No. It doesn't sound like your fault. No, exactly. Because it's clearly not voluntary. Yeah, like, no, you're not a bad person for thinking about her. Like, the only, you'll be a bad person if you're acting on it. Oh, of course. You're currently not acting on it. You're only thinking about certain things and stuff. The fact that you had a dream. The fact that
The situations in your past previous relationship were that toxic that in your current healthy relationship, you're having dreams about cheating on your missus and that's waking you up shaken to the core. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is in turn giving you excitement to then think about your ex.
a sign that you need to step away. Yeah, it's a violent circle. You need to step away from everything and focus on you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all you can do right now. Take your current girlfriend out of the situation. Yeah. You've got demons. Yeah. You've got demons. Yeah, bro. See someone. See a few people because you need to step away from every situation. Rebuild your life before you step back into society. It sounds like you weren't ready for this relationship that you're in. Exactly. In the first place. Yeah, because you've got scars. Yeah.
You haven't had closure in God knows how long and it's starting to penetrate into your current relationship. Yeah, that's not okay. You're trying to brush it all under the rug and it's rearing its ugly head. It's not okay. And you want it back. You're waking up in sweats. Yeah, he's moving like an addict. Yeah, he is. He's moving like a heroin addict. He's moving like a fucking quackhead. It's not okay. He knows how destructive that is to his life, but he needs it. He needs it. He thinks he needs it. He does need it. He needs rehab.
he needs science it sounds like he went cold turkey i've deeped it yeah yeah i've seen it brother fam brother listen it sounds like you were balls deep in this heroin life you od'd and you were ready to die yeah by the grace of god you made it around the other side and you went i'm never touching another needle again this yeah he woke up in hospital
Like, rah, I'm alive. Rah, I'm alive. Fuck this. Fuck, I'm never touching another needle again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm never touching another needle again. You went cold turkey. And now you're getting those night sweats. Yeah, yeah. Literally, you're getting those night sweats. Shaking. He's dreaming about putting needles in him. So you've got that withdrawal.
You've got that balls deep withdrawal. Fuck. And you're thinking, maybe heroin wasn't so bad. Maybe if I just have it in doses. Yeah, maybe. Smaller doses might help me change my life. Yeah, I think second time around, now I know how bad it can get. I think if we mitigate it. Yeah, I'm well trained now. Yeah, I know what to expect now. And I'm starting to miss the taste of heroin. Because I need a little bit. Yeah, I need a little bit because...
This paracetamol thing I'm on a minute. It's not touching the surface. I've been smoking weed and it's not doing anything. I need needles. Yeah. It needs to be in my blood. This weed thing. Inject it. It's dead. It's boring me. A man said this. This is his profile picture. Huh?
I need it in my veins. Fuck. This vanilla thing is not working for me. It's not working for me. This ibuprofen, it's nothing. It's not doing anything. I need it here. Yeah, I need it mainline. Yeah, I need it mainline.
But what you should have done is you should have woken up in the hospital bed, taking us to rehab and they would have taught you to reprogram your mind. Yeah. Reprogram your heart. Cause then you don't associate any joy with heroin whatsoever. You realize how bad it was for you. And that's it. That's what you need to do. So you need to step away. I'm not saying dump your girlfriend, but you need to step the fuck back away from your ex, your girlfriend, your cheating dreams. Yeah.
And focus on yourself and your health. I think if you are very honest with yourself, the best thing to do is be honest with her. 100%. Tell her. She must know you've had a traumatic past relationship. Just be open and honest with her. Babes, I've been missing the heroin. I'm not going to lie to you. I've been missing this heroin. And I know it's wrong. I know it's wrong. It's fucking with me day in, day out. And you probably see it on me. But I'm trying my hardest to shake it off.
But there are nights where I think I can't. And I can't even sleep because I'm just shaking and shivering and sweating.
You know? And it's not my fault and it's definitely not your fault. You're not doing anything wrong. You're just my partner in this crime and I just need to express to you how I'm feeling because it's just me and you in this relationship. I've got no one else to speak to. You're my confidant and I need to let you know how I'm feeling. I need to get this off my chest because I can't sleep. I can literally not sleep. Yeah, and the thought of losing you is killing me. The thought of losing you is killing me but the thought of not fucking her is making me suicidal.
I need it. I need it. I needs one more. I needs one more hit. Just a taste. Help me. Just a taste. Yeah, bro. Get out of there. Get it off your chest. Tell your missus what's going on. If she's the real deal, she'll understand. If she's the real deal, she'll get it. You need to reinforce the fact it's got nothing to do with her. But say, babes, I'm not going to lie to you. I'm going to speak to someone about this.
A professional. Yeah. Because it's not going well. I just need to let you know where I'm at mentally. Where I'm at. So I'm not trying to be distant with you. I just need to focus on what's going on here so I can be the best version of myself for you. 100%. Because I'm not going anywhere. I don't plan on going anywhere. Yeah, I want this. This is perfect for me. I need this. It's healthy for me. I need this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's different and I like it. I like it. Sometimes when my back's against the wall. When I'm cornered. Yeah.
Oh my God. Them idle Sundays? Yeah, the unblock buttons looking juicy. It's flashing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's pulsating. Yeah, it's a strobe ting. I'm just hypnotized by it. Fuck, that's hilarious. So yeah, bro, get out of there. Speak to a professional. You think it's because we're laughing, you think it's jokes. We're fucking not joking. Speak to someone because this isn't healthy. A man says she turned me suicidal and I loved it. Oh.
Oh no, that's dark. That's very dark. Yeah, that's very, very dark. Yeah, speak to a professional by MIG and get yourself out of that hole and never look at that heroin again. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. Yeah. What's up, guys? Thank you very much for listening. That was a short clip from our most recent Patreon episode.
If you enjoyed it and you want to get the full episode, head on over to patreon.com forward slash shits and gigs. Link is in the description. And once you're there, it's going to cost you a light, humble three pound a month. 10p a day. Run the P, you know the drill. Head on over today, guys, and enjoy. Thank you very much. Gang, gang.
At Ashley, you'll find colorful furniture that brings your home to life. Ashley makes it easier than ever to express your personal style with an array of looks in fun trending hues to choose from, from earth tones to vibrant colors to calming blues and greens. Ashley has pieces for every room in the house in the season's most sought after shades. A more colorful life starts at Ashley. Shop in store online today. Ashley, for the love of home.
Where's the most convenient place to get that big fitness energy? It's Planet Fitness. Right now you can join for 24 cents down, $15 a month. With over 2,400 locations and equipment for every workout, you can get in, get energized, and get going. And with free fitness training and most clubs open 24 hours, everyone belongs in the judgment-free zone. Join today in-club, online, or on the app for just 24 cents down, $15 a month. Hurry. Deal ends August 22nd.