JAW DROPPING CONFESSIONS! | EP 355 | ShxtsNGigs Podcast
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Guys, welcome back. And right, we're going to get straight to business. I'm not going to mess around. The flute bands are on.

We're not gonna use the government name because they're not paying government money. - Facts bro. - Yeah. - They're not paying that dollar dollar bill. - No free advertisement. So this week we've got our flute bands on. So the eight week SNG Super 8 Challenge starts today. And so if you weren't here with us last week, the guys, all of us are gonna do this for eight weeks. We're just drawn for eight weeks.

It's going to measure our strain levels, daily strain levels, which is like exercise-based, calorie-based stuff, recovery levels, and sleep levels as well. It's waterproof. It is up to two hours. You can wear it...

- Okay, cool. - Submerging water. - Cool, cool, cool, cool. - Gang. - I can't. - What happens after two hours? - I don't know. - I think it just, just. - Something about the pressure. - You just can't hack it anymore. - It's something about the pressure of water and whatever. - Oh, okay. - The pressure makes sense. - Yeah. - All right, Bette, so.

Yeah, we're going to wear it for eight weeks. It's going to measure all that. And there's going to be leaderboards in app that we're going to share on the episodes with you guys. And whoever wins gets a thousand British pounds sterling. Macaroons. That reminds me, what gift card do you want for winning? I tried to brush it under the rug. It's my money anyway. Just keep it.

Keep it. I said it's my money anyway. I'm playing. I actually don't. I thought about it. I don't need anything. All right. I don't need anything. If you want to send me five bills, you can send me five bills. But yeah, I appreciate it. But I intentionally didn't say nothing. All right, say less. But yeah, with this price...

I will send myself the thousand pounds if I win. Okay, cool, cool. Just so you know, I will be sending myself the thousand pounds. So yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool. I'm excited. I'm... How confident are you? I know you said you're being incognites, but how actual confident are you? Pretty. Swear? Yeah.

I think out of everyone here, I'm the most underestimated and that's what's gonna make me win. - That's the sexiest thing you've said. That's the sexiest thing I've heard you say this year. - No, we're only day two in. - Yeah, we're only two days in, but still you do say a lot of sexy stuff. Damn, most underestimated, that's why I'm gonna win. That's actually facts. I would...

Initially I would, and this one I'm really happy about the recovery and the sleep. Because I've seen Rem at his best when you don't have to factor in those things. And he's undefeated. Yeah. Then bodybuilding days, I've never seen a beast like that. I've never seen a man do stuff like that. Facts. So I was like, yeah.

Wow, regimented. Regimented militant Brer. Stallion. Yeah, does what he needs to do. But this time, you can't cut corners on sleep and recovery. You can't just go work, work, work. His work rate is up. He's relaxed. He can't balance the two. Daddy can relax. I live to relax. I live to relax. Recovery's going to be up. I can step my foot on the gas when I need to. And daddy can also relax. So yeah, I'm here for it. Ellis is...

- He's a dark horse. - Ellis has got age on his side. - Yeah. - He's the younger, he's got that young blood. - He's got age and freedom. - Yeah, yeah, the human life is loose. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, and he's got a chip on his shoulder. I've never seen a Ute with a chip on his shoulder like this brother here. He's gonna be livid if he doesn't win. - Fast. - Oh, trust me. - Yeah, I don't know what he's gonna do. - He might smash something. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. But because of that, I'm also confident that he doesn't know how to relax.

Okay. Yeah. I don't think, I think sleep and relaxation are going to fuck both of you, man. I think you're going to win on sleep and I'm hoping I creep in there in the middle. Okay. Say less. Yeah. Just enough sleep, just enough strain and just enough recovery to just be like, yeah,

- Cool, I'm scared and excited. - Same, this is the first challenge we've ever done as a- - Yeah, accountants taking, 2024 is the accountability year. - Gang, yeah. - So we're taking this- - We're starting off right. - We're starting off right. And there's obviously, this is only an eight week challenge. - Yeah. - But obviously I signed us all up for a year. - Yeah. - So even after this, we can keep checking in to see how things are going. - I'm gonna have a tan on this bitch. - Yeah, bro, trust me. - It's not coming off, yeah. - But yeah, cool. Right, I'm gonna start us off different today.

I've got a dilemma. Hit me. Again, props to six brown chicks on Twitter. They literally have the best dilemmas going. Right. Factual. So this one is crazy. You man. So lock in. Yeah. Dilemma. Yeah. We lost our child two years ago in brackets. I've had a miscarriage. Horrible. And at the time she discovered that she contracted gonorrhea as well.

In brackets, I contacted a lawyer about suing the hospital for using dirty equipment that may have infected her. As myself and the woman I've been dealing with at the time had chlamydia, not gonorrhea. So that STI didn't come from me. The man says, saved by the bell, but I'm still a dog. Yeah.

Still a dog. Our sex life isn't good. That's it. Bro, so she didn't get pregnant again, but I know she wants a baby. Therefore, when I brought my two-month-old over for dinner, I expected her love for me and my child to overcome how the child came into my life. She said, what do you mean your baby? My wife threw my things out the front door, my TV, my games, my...

clothes and my son's diaper bag. - That's too far. That's a bit, it's too much. - I left when she grabbed a knife. I've been staying with my baby mama, but I miss my wife. My baby mama is an OnlyFans performer. - Performer!

- Terminology. - My baby mama is an OnlyFans performer and she doesn't want to be a parent right now. How do I convince my wife to accept my son and to take me back? I need help. - You can't convince her of anything. - Bro. - You can't convince her of anything. - So long story short, he's married. Two years ago, they had a miss, but during that time she found out she had gonorrhea.

Donny said, "I don't know where you're getting that gonorrhea. It must've come from the hospital. 'Cause I know you're a faithful woman." - Yeah. - And I've got chlamyd. - Yeah. Me and my side team got the clap. - Yeah, me and my side team got the clap. We ain't got that gon. So whoever gave you that gon, yeah. - Yeah. - We're gonna sue. - Facts. - We're gonna sue. Sex isn't great, so you've not been pregnant again, but I know you want a baby. Lucky for you, I've got a baby and a mom that don't want it.

He needs a mum. He's two months old. - Long story, I need support. That's what he needs. It doesn't mean he needs a mum, I need support. I need help. - I need help. - Yeah, that's what you want. - She doesn't want it, you do want it. XO facto. - Problem solved. - Be a mum. If you wanna be a mum, be a mum. She said, "What do you mean this is your son?" - Fat. - "Make him with a diaper bag." - Two months old, I hope, he wanted to hope that the you would

cover up the fact that she can't have a Ute anymore. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like be happy there's a child in the yard. - Man came to his marital home, probably with the Ute attached to his chest. - Yeah, all like cute. - Diaper bag in hand. - Fee out everything. - And be like, this is my son. - This is us now. - This is us now. I know you've been wanting a baby and I know it's been tough for the last couple of years, but here you go. She's like, what do you mean this is your son? My son, me and my son, me and side. - Me and SB have a U. - Yeah, SB will have a U, but she's the OnlyFans performer. She doesn't want it. - She doesn't want a performer. - She's focused on her career right now.

- And we're here. - If she didn't want to, why does she? What's all this? What's all this, bro? Why does she keep the U if she didn't want to be a mom? And then she went back to the profession that she was doing in the first place. - These times, both of these men got chlamyds. The whole thing is crazy. - This is bonkers. So one of them are still cheating on another person. Do you see what I'm saying? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Wow. - So busy, yeah. - So he said me and my partner have got chlamydia or me and my side have got chlamydia, confidently. - And he said, "Cool, my wife is throwing me out. I don't understand why she won't accept us, but she's throwing me out. How do I get back?" - There is no going back. - There is no going back, bro. Find a yard and move in with your son.

wow, it's you and your son now. Two bed apartment, find it and move in. It's you and your son against the wall because you fucked it. Yeah, literally bro. Only fans perform a chick. She's not going to want you in her life. She's going to see that you went as and when she wants. Marriage is done. And it's, it's a life lesson, I guess. You fucked up. You fucked around and found out. That is the definition of fucking around and find out. Wow. We can only hope

That baby mama, her OnlyFans pops. And that child support check is- Yeah, that bread is- Yeah, it's coming in hot and fast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I pray she's a LinkedIn. Yeah, but otherwise- Jesus Christ. Yeah, you've completely and utterly bottled it. That's one of the wildest things I've ever read in my entire life. Wow. And he's so- The way it's written and the way it's structured-

In his mind, everything is validated. You see what I'm saying? The way the whole thing was structured, he makes it seem like I've got a point here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bro, like. I've got legs to stand on here. You didn't realize I was chasing lawyers about what they did to you at Osport. They gave my wife gonorrhea. I'm trying to fight for you. And also, here's a son. Yeah. And I've given you a son.

- What more do you want? - What do you want? - You didn't even have to go through childbirth. - Facts, I'm checking things off your list, easy. - Yeah, what do you mean you're dashing my shit out of the yard? What's wrong with you? - The knife would have rattled. - Yeah, I left when you drew. - I've got a you in hand and you're holding a knife? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. - You're acting crazy. - Stop. - That's too funny. - Wow. - Yeah, that's the funniest thing ever. - Wow. - All right, Bet, so question of the week.

Question of the week. Yeah. So this week's question of the week was most unhinged thing you've done to get someone's attention. Oh, okay. Yeah. Most unhinged thing you've done to get someone's attention. I broke two fingers just to go back to hospital. I just got a new finest doctor after moving. That's why I did it. That's crazy. Broke two fingers.

Why is it always- why not one? Why not just fake cramps or something? Why are we breaking shit? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's crazy, bro. Told my friend to break into her house so I could save her. She called her boyfriend instead. Yeah, boy.

That reality would, because he's wham. Yeah. Yeah. It's long. That reality would really take your breath away. And your boys get rocked. Facts. It would rock you and you would get rocked. Yeah. I threw a water bottle at my maths teacher's head because she kept ignoring me with my hand up.

- I've got the answers. - Yeah. - I've got the answers. - I haven't got time for games today. - Facts. - It's always everyday games. - Jaquan, you chat shit. Jaquan, you chat shit and you know the answer's wrong. I'm not picking you today. - There's only so much tolerance I have for foolishness. - I'm not picking you today. I signed in and out of MSN about a hundred times.

Oh, because it used to be like... I remember that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. That's attention seeking. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I fucking remember that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I used to deal with one thing. Not even deal. Yeah. I used to fancy one thing called Jessica. Yeah. Body. Yeah. Body from early. God. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. One white John. Yeah. Body. Yeah.

- Every time I used to see that thing pop up, I was in there. - Instantaneous click. - Yeah. - You even think about it. Instantaneous click. - I used to click and we're chatting. - Chatting, yeah. - We're chatting. Well, this is where I used to fall into it. I was so locked in on securing this bang, which was never gonna happen. - Yeah, yeah. - I remember sometimes she would be like, "Oh." I remember one time she was like, "EastEnders is on." Chat to my little sister for a bit until I get back. And this is when I was like eight. - Okay.

You might best believe I spoke to this sister. I was in there, how was school? What are you learning? What's going on? How long until we send this as done? - Bring your sister back. - Get Jessica back in here. - My days. - Yeah, it was long. - I was talking to family members just 'cause. - Yeah. - Fair enough. - Oh God, Jessica was ditzy as well. I went through it for this. I went through it, I went through it, bro. - So she was ditzy. - Yeah, bare ditzy, bro. - But thick. - Yeah! Ditzy, bro. - That's a combo. - Yeah!

That's a ponytail combo. She got pigtails as well. I bet she had pigtails and stuff. You know what she had? She had... Fuck, I don't even remember what her hairstyle was. I remember she was blonde as hell. That's not even usually my flavour. But yeah, I was locked in. I hadn't seen body like that. Fair. I hadn't seen... You're nine. Fair, fair, fair. I hadn't seen body like that, you man. I was chatting. Just trying to see a little webcam suck. Yeah, Skype. Yeah, yeah. Skype me. Send the socials and Skype me.

Send the credentials, man. Oh my God. Skype, you know? Yeah. I went to see Sarton, bro. Never happened. Been there, boy. All right. Most unhinged thing you've done to get someone's attention. Who was ignoring me, so I made an account and bullied his little sister. Jesus, man. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. She wasn't having it. Yeah. Bullied his little sister. Yeah. Nah. And she would have come to him like,

This is horrible. This is what happened to Mazza. Who's doing this? - Facts, facts bro. It's Sasha. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's Sasha. And you roll up back to school. Sasha, what are you doing to my sister? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Finally. Sasha's just like, finally. - Now you wanna talk to me. - Now you wanna talk to me. - Now you wanna talk to me. - Yeah. - Posted a nude on my Insta with only him in my close friends. Flex. - Massive flex. - Flex. - Massive flex. - 'Cause he doesn't know that. And it's like, oh, we're here now. Flex. - Hmm. - All right.

Fake booked a table of 15 at a restaurant we both worked at so she wouldn't get sent home early. Genius. Fucking genius. So would that work?

- It's genius to an extent because if there's a table of 15 in there, in a booking system, there has to be a number, there has to be an email. This is a large party table. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - And there's a young deposit somewhere lurking somewhere. - It sounds like a deposit team. - Yeah, it's lurking somewhere. But maybe they didn't do their due deal and they kept her. Man's like, "Hey, yo, let's chat." - Oh, I guess we're here. - Well, I guess we're here. Let's chat a couple more hours. - Damn. - All right, next.

I slit her tires. Then I put up a story saying, someone slit my tires. She replies saying, no way me too. Pep Guardiola, tactician. Fair enough. Fair enough. All right, most unhinged thing you've done to get someone's attention. I fake fainted into his arms. Shut up. Shut up. Literally shut up on that one. Shouting in my mom's full name in front of her. That's bravado. Your mom's full name in front of her.

Government, the whole thing. I got rocked. Wow. I did a front flip and concussed myself. Wow. Okay. Okay. Damn. Damn. I got their car stolen and pretended to recover it for them. Also fucking wild. What is going on? Yeah, it's drastic. It's unhinged, bro. Yeah, fair. I guess it says it in the title. I deliberately tripped that nigger, then helped catch him in fake shock. He turned out to be boring anyway.

Okay. Damn. Yeah. Last one. On my roof, my legs dangling over the edge and post it on my story on some life ain't it type shit. Yeah.

- Life ain't it. - So she just scurries over. - Yeah. - Don't do it. - Stop. - Send me a location. - Send me a location, don't do it. So McHale would've, why wouldn't I? - Right, facts. Give me a reason not to. - Yeah, give me a reason not to do it. Oh my God. What's left for me here? - Facts. - I've got no one. - This just is dangling. - Yeah, it's dangling. Life ain't it.

Oh my God. Jokes. People are perfect. Jokes. Yeah. Do you know what your most unhinged thing? To get someone's attention. Doesn't have to be unhinged. Just like wild thing I've done to get someone's attention. No, I might have to come back to me. Do you have something in mind for yourself? It's only just popped into my head now and I've realized, I didn't even realize I did this, but I actually did it. I'm pretty sure I challenged someone to a dance off.

- Yeah, it was peak Dougie season. - That's circa what, 2010, 2011? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was, you know who the girl is as well, it was the girl. - Okay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - The girl. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And I remember, I'd lost you man, it was on the night out there, Toby murked the toilets. - Yeah!

- He formed that night. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the thing called in student union called? - The Hub or Hub. - The Hub, yeah. - Yeah, it was there, bruv. And you might have gone somewhere. I couldn't find you.

and I was bopping through the dance, just wading through. And I seen this girl smiling and clapping. She couldn't be more impressed. I thought, what the fuck is going on here? One dude just dug in and it was mad. She'd never been so entertained. And then I was like, say less. K just jumped in there.

- Jumped in there. - I was like, you got served. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jumped in there and just hit it once. Bah, yeah. And then just made eye contact. Bah, yeah!

- Yeah, she knew what it was. - Oh, that's jokes. - Is this what impresses you? - Oh, that's jokes. - Yeah, pay attention to that. - It's a dance battle, you know. Fucking hell. - Yeah, I felt low after that. I'm so happy you man didn't see it. - Yeah. - I'm so happy you man didn't see it. - I could not have seen that. Wow. I can't even deep, you know. What have I done?

That's wild to get someone's attention. Bro, I'm not gonna lie, nothing's coming. The fact that I know my life, I know I've done something. See what I'm saying? But nothing is actually patting into my brain right now. So I know the type of person I am sometimes. Man, I do shit to get some attention. You know what I mean? I've done it in the past. Like, for the life of me, I have no idea, bro. It'll probably come back to me sporadically if I have the episode, but no idea. Say less, say less, say less. Okay, cool. So...

- Time for the next segment. We're going back to school. - Yeah, zero. - One nil? - One nil to James. So for those that don't know, for those, if you did miss last week's episode, I am livid about it, but back to school, we are no longer do top five. Back to school is, I will be asking our lovely gents in the studio key stage three questions. It could be a range of maths, English, science, history, geography, language, whatever. And yeah, five questions.

Unless he gets the most points. Okay. Scary hours. This one really does stress me out. Because you're not hardcore. You're not hardcore. You're not hardcore. Unless you live hardcore. And the legend of the rent. Let's go. Let's keep that in. Cause. Fucking hell, yeah, facts. All right. Guys, do we all have our...

- Whiteboards and markers. - Yeah. - Cool. Are we ready for the first question? - Yes, sir. - Yeah. - So like I said, I'll repeat the question twice. Some questions have multiple choice answers, some don't. - Okay. - Yeah? And at the end, we will go through the answers collectively. Question number one, simplify the following equation. 4A plus 5B plus 6B plus 6B plus 6B.

I'm gonna say it again. I would advise you to write it down. Simplify the following equation. 4A plus 5B plus 6B plus 11A. I wonder if you man's stress levels are going up because of this. - Mine is. - Mine is to the roof, bro.

Okay. Yeah? Locked, locked, locked? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bad. Question. Jimmy, locked? Yeah. I just want to remove the evidence. Okay, say less. Question number two. What is the capital of Northern Ireland? What is the capital city of Northern Ireland? Wow. Wow. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. I think a city's in my head. I don't even know what country that ran. Question number three.

Spell instantaneous. Spell instantaneous. - This is horrible. - This is key stage three. - Yep. - What did we say? Was it year eight, year nine or whatever? - I did not spell that in. - 11 to 14. You'd probably be surprised 'cause you don't remember.

Because when I was looking through some of these questions, I was thinking there's no fucking way I was 11 to 14 learning this bullshit. There's no way. Yeah, I don't think so, bro. Question number four. Which of the following is the symbol for copper? C, C-A, C-O, or C-U? Periodic table. Which of the following is the symbol for copper? Option A, C-A.

is letter C. Option B is C-A. Option C is C-O. And option D is C-U. Last question. Find the adverb in the following sentence. He ran quickly in last year's race. Find the adverb in the following sentence. He ran quickly in last year's race. Cool. So we're locked.

- I don't know. I can't say with confidence I got any of those right. I'm actually, I can't say with confidence I got any of that right. - Relax, man, relax. - I can't relax, bro. - No, no, no, you need to be. - The strain is through the roof, bro. - Right, question number one. I said simplify the following. 4A plus 5B plus 6B plus 11A. Rem, what was your answer?

- 15A plus 11B. - Ellis, what was your answer? - Just realized I fucked it over last minute. 15A and 21B, but I meant to do something else. Fuck. - James, what was your answer? - 15A plus 11B. - 15A plus 11B, correct. - Oh, damn. - What is the capital city of Northern Ireland? James, what did you put? - I put, I don't know the difference between Northern Ireland and Republic of Ireland. I put, I don't even know if this is an island. I put Cardiff. - Ellis, what did you put?

- Is that in Wales? - Yes. - Is it in Wales? - Yeah. - I thought it was in Wales. - I'll put, I don't know, I'll put Dublin. - And Remski? - Shout out, I'll put Belfast. - And the answer is- - Belfast is what I was thinking. - The answer is Belfast. - Oh, Cardiff and Belfast, I know it got mixed up, man. - Question number three, spell instantaneous. Ellis, can you go first for me, please? - I-N-S-T-A-N-T-A-N-I-O-U-S.

Remski. - I-N-S-T-A-N-T-A-N-E-O-U-S. - James. - E-O-U-S as well, it's like the same. - E-O-U-S is the answer. Question number four. Which of the following is a symbol for copper? C, C-A, C-O, or C-U? Rem, what did you put? - C-A. - Ellis, what did you put? - C-U. - James, what did you put? - C-O.

Yours is calcium. The answer is Cu. - Do you know I'm livid? - Because you wrote it and then you rubbed it out? - Yep. - Standard. - Standard indeed. I wrote Cu first. - Calcium is C carbon. - C is carbon. - C is carbon, Ca is calcium, Cu is copper, Co is cobalt, cobalt? - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. - Last but not least,

Find the adverb in the following sentence. He ran quickly in last year's race. Ellis, what was the adverb? - I put run. - I was gonna say James. Ellis, what is the adverb? Rem, sorry. What is the adverb? I was looking at you and said Ellis. - You were looking at me, yeah, it's fine. I also put ran, but I think that's wrong now. - James. - I put last. - All of you are wrong. - Is it quickly? - It's quickly. - I put quickly first again! - Ran is the verb. - Ran is the verb, but yeah.

- Okay. - I knew it was quickly. Fucking knew it was quickly. - So the winner- - That's two answers that I wrote rubbed out and wrote the wrong fucking answer. - Well done Rem, you won today. Three, two, one. - GG. - GG. - Well done. - I think going forward, next time I do this, after everyone has written their answers, I'm gonna ask you man to swap your boards. - Oh, okay. No cheaties? - It's not that I think you are cheating, but I think when I ask the question again, there are times where you guys are like,

- Bro, read what's on your ting and you're like, do you see what I'm saying? - You mean when we're answering? - When you're answering, like for example, I asked Ellis to read out instantaneous and it didn't seem as if you're reading what you wrote down. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Do you see what I'm saying? - He's just questioning it as he's going through it, that's why. - Yeah, that's all. I'm trying to work out, man. - Yeah, but there'll be no questions. Once you swap boards, there'll be no questions. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - We'll see who's right and who's wrong.

- Damn, yeah, good, let's do that. - We'll see who's right and who's wrong. And that was Back to School, guys. Hope you guys got five out of five at home. If you did, let us know. If you didn't, start doing revision for next week. - That's embarrassing, man. - It is. - It actually is. - Cardiff. - I'm playing over the Cardiff. - Swear. - Yeah, swear. - Do you wanna bring up what you got wrong last week? - What did you even get wrong last week? - I don't know, but I won, so we can just point and laugh at whoever we wanna point and laugh at. - It's 1-1, so we can keep laughing. - Nah, it's cool. How many Drake songs do you know?

- Yeah, that's cool. - You wanna base general knowledge on Drake songs. - That is general knowledge. - Okay, yeah, but you wanna go- - You should know more Drake songs than cities in fucking Gaelic countries. - Oh, what's wrong with cities in Gaelic countries? - Fuck Ireland! - This is a paid advertisement for better help. - Bro. - Talk to me. - Real quick, ask me what my self-care non-negotiables are. - What? - Grounding.

Wim Hof breath work. Yeah. Eight hour sleep. Non-negotiables. Those are three perfect non-negotiables. And I'm proud of you. Thank you very much. I'm very, very proud of you. It's like when people say never skip leg day, but it's never skip therapy day. We all know how easy it is for our schedules to become overwhelmed with social gatherings and other obligations that leave us struggling to make time for the things that fill our own cups. 100%. It's like when your schedule is packed with big work projects and more.

It's easy to let your priorities slip. Even when we know what makes us happy, it can be hard to make time for it.

But guys, when you feel like you have no time for yourself, non-negotiables like therapy are more important than ever. Agreed. And therapy has broader benefits like, for example, learning how to set boundaries in your life so that you feel empowered to be the best version of yourself. Exactly that. With almost 5,000 therapists in the UK already, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a wide variety of expertise. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp.

BetterHelp.com slash GiggsPod today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash GiggsPod. Yes!

- All right, cool. - I'm playing, I'm playing, I'm playing. - Same with your chest. - I'm playing, I'm playing, I'm playing. - Same with your chest. - I'm playing, I'm playing, I'm playing. - Same with your chest, innit? - I'm playing, I'm playing, I'm playing. - All right, cool, yeah, that's your boy. - I'm half Irish, I can joke like that. - That's who you listen to, this is your daddy. - Yeah, I'm half Irish, I can say stuff like that. - This is your daddy, this is your daddy. - Yeah, they know who I'm on. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is your daddy. - They know who I'm on. - That's your daddy. - They know who I'm on. - That's your daddy. - Five Fs.

- Fuck Ireland. - Yeah, I'm playing you, man. That's the kind of jokes we do over there. - Okay, cool. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - They know who you really are now. - Oh, jokes. - I hate losing you, man. I'm sorry. I just say stuff when I lose. It pisses me off. Anyway, tickets for our Dublin show are now... - Plummeting. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's jokes. - Cool, right. Rem, trash news, please. - People who leave parties without saying goodbye save up to two days per year.

- That's two days. - That's a lot of time, bro. - How many parties are you going to? - Yeah, fair. - How many parties are you going to to make it up to two days a year? 48 hours saying goodbye to people. - Researchers in the UNSW's Time Management Institute interviewed 2000 Australians finding on average they go to 25 parties. - Oh, Australians, makes sense. - Yeah, fair. - Makes sense. - 25. - They might gather.

From the moment we actually decide it's time to leave a party, it takes us on average 45 minutes to say goodbye, says lead researcher Dean Hoddle. That means we spend an average of 18 hours and 45 minutes each year saying goodbye. That's crazy. Also, 25 parties a year is great. That's two a month. Also, on what planet is 18 hours two days? That numbers is off. But even if we went by the 18 hours, it's average. Yeah.

- Yeah. - The title's up too. And that stays average. - Saying goodbye is long sometimes. - It is. Sometimes just, yeah. - Yeah, and you know when there's them ones where like, if you don't say goodbye to this person, it's gonna be hassle next time. You go away and they're in a toilet and you go,

- Then you get caught up in another thing and then, oh. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or you wanted to go five minutes ago and then all of a sudden the rave just starts to get busy. Busy and the DJ's doing what they need to do. - Yeah, someone goes, "I thought you were going." - Shut up, man. - Let's vibe. - Why are you watching my next move, man? Move.

- It also doesn't have to be 20, we'll say for example, for you guys, maybe not 25 parties, but 25 events. - True. - Yeah. - That's very easy. - True, true, true. - We hit 25 events last year easily. - For sure. - Yeah. - And it did take ages to say goodbye. - Same. - Yeah. Might've saved three days. - There's a lot of time when you deep it. - Fair enough. - Fair play, man. What's an Irish goodbye?

- It says try an Irish exit next time. - What's that? - I'm assuming that's just leave and just deal with the consequences of who you didn't say goodbye to whenever that comes up. - Fair, fair, fair, fair, fair. That's the one I like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, interesting. Cool, right. It's time for Who Am I, okay? - Ooh, yes, yes. Do we need our boards right? - I guess. You don't have to. - Okay. - So the way I'm gonna do it- - Whatever. What the fuck, Everam? - I'm just saying if you...

- If you're there, you're there. - So end of first chapter, you get one try each. So it's not gonna be like, - Okay, okay, okay. - So it's first to raise their hand, gets asked first, this is your try. And then you guys can choose to even try or not try. - Okay. - And then we'll go on to the next chapter. - Okay. - You might as well stab in the dark though. - Hmm? - You might as well just stab in the dark when you're offered the try. - Yeah. - I mean, you can do if you want.

- You don't lose anything. - We lose the fun of the game. 'Cause if you get it right by accident, I'll be pissed off. - Okay, cool, cool, cool. - 'Cause I took time and effort into doing this fucking thing. - All right, let's go. - That's neither here nor there. So, right. Basically I'm a normal brayer in it. Everything about me is normal. My job, normal. My life, normal. Boring is the word I would use to describe it. But to keep it slightly interesting,

Outside of work, I do a couple like side hustles. I put my talents to good use and yeah, I make a bit of extra cash on the side, right? Now, while I've been doing my job, I've been doing my side hustle, I've been making money. One, like I said, life is fucking boring. And two, you man have been having dreams. Random dreams, half the time I can't tell if it feels real. Half the time I can't tell if it's fake.

I'm seeing repeated people that I've never met and I feel like I know them and I feel like I know their names. Well, I know their names before I've ever met them, right? So one day while I'm doing my side hustle, one of my clients says, oh, you should come to a rave. It's like a Wednesday night and I'm thinking, man's not raving, brother. You couldn't pay me. But something told me from one of these dreams that I had, I should bop to the rave. End of chapter one. Any idea who I am?

No, no clues. Not a clue. Not a clue? Not a clue. Not even to guess. No. Good. I couldn't even tell if it's fact or fiction. Okay. You would have to know this person very well to know from chapter one. It was the ending that gave it away, but it's done now anyway. Right. Chapter two. So I bopped to the rave. It's one of them incidents. Yeah. Again, it's Wednesday night. I'm not really feeling it. But when I say there's one thing,

in there. One baddie. And I'm thinking, okay, say less. It's a party. She pulls up to me and she's like, ah, it's a vibe. I know you. I'm a fan of you. I think we could do a little cool thing. I think you should meet one of my brethrens. And then I hear you've been having some dreams, my guy. I think we can explain it for you. Obviously she's banging. So I was like,

Mad, but I'm down. Don't know how you know about my dreams, but I'm on it. So the next night, I link her and then she pulls up to man with her bread rings on smoke. They throw me in the back of the car. Oh, it's not what I thought it was. And they're moving mad. And I'm thinking, yo, yo, yo, yo, I thought it was calm. I thought it was calm. I thought it was calm. What's going on? Why are you man rushing me like this? And they're like, shut up, shut up. They start drapes in my clothes off me, pinning me down. And I'm thinking, ah, it's a little...

Orgy ting, non-consent. Homegirl, baddies sat in the front of the whip, like calm down, calm down, it's gonna be calm. And I'm thinking, you man are jumping me. You're supposed to be linking my bridge and it's gonna tell me about these fucking dreams. And you man are just moving mad. Next thing you know, they drapes out this fucking gun looking ting. And I'm like, nah, they're gonna kill me. They're actually gonna kill me. But it doesn't even look like a normal gun, bro. This is a machine, you man. So they've drapes off my top, pin me down and they snap.

suck this hoover machine on my fucking stomach and started drapes in alien looking drawings out of my belly and i'm thinking i'm dreaming now i'm dreaming till now this is all one lucid dream and i don't know what's going on bro so they suck one thing on my belly i'm screaming ah what's going on what's going on what's going on yeah and they're like it's real my guy you're not dreaming this is what's going on we need to link you up with donnie so you know what's going on

So they pull me up to this crack den in the middle of the night and they're like, go inside, on your ones, meet Donny, he's gonna explain the fucking dreams. Go in there right now. End of chapter two. If you man don't know by now. - Sounds familiar but I can't put a pin in it. - Before you said Froome in the car, I thought you were talking about the, I don't know if he's the main character, but one of the guys from Babylon. - Incorrect.

- Oh, I know it's incorrect. - Oh yeah. - Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I said before you said the card thing, I know it's incorrect. - Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. - Yeah. - Fuck. - It sounds familiar though. That's what's annoying me. - Okay. No guesses? - Zero. - No guesses? Chapter three. - Yeah, this is the final chapter. - So this is the final chapter. - Okay. - As soon, so this is, now this is, final chapter is Free Fire because it's gonna be so obvious we can't wait for the end of the chapter. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - To see who goes first. - Cool. - Whoever guesses it. - Yeah.

If you're gonna say it, raise your hand. You have one chance to say who I am. Don't start saying, oh, kind of thinking. Name of who I am. If you don't get it, I'm gonna keep going. Right. So they sent me in there to meet Donnie. I'm thinking nervous, nervous, nervous. It's a crack house. Where am I? They're sucking drawings like my belly button. I don't know what's going on. Bro, I'm moving there and Donnie is cool as a motherfucker. I'm thinking, all right, well, I'm gassed of him already because he's just too slick.

He knows who I am. He tells me about my dreams. He sits me down, brother, and says, brother, I'm with you. And there's a reason you're having these dreams, my guy. There's a reason you're having these dreams. And I'm here to help. I can make sure you never have these dreams again. All you need to do is trust me, follow me and eat this thing right here. Eat this thing right here. And I'm going to open your eyes, my bro.

- Oh no. - Or if you're comfortable with what's going on in your life, don't worry about it. We can send you back to your boring life, to your boring job. - Um.

- It's not him. - Okay, none of that. I'm carrying on talking. - I can't remember his name. - Raise your hand if you don't know his name. Don't raise your hand. - I just know the movie. I was thinking of someone. - Anyway, so I'm like, big man, I'm a grown ass man and I'm scared of what's been happening to me. One minute ting, let me eat it. I eat it, you man. When I say, I was dreaming the whole time. I've woken up now.

I've woken up and I don't know what I'm looking at. I don't know where I am. I don't know how I got here. All I know is I wake up, cool as fuck Donnie, who knows everything about me, picks me up and tells me, bro, your whole life's been a dream. Your whole life's been a dream and I'm going to teach you the real ways.

So he teaches me the rule ways and he says, bro, there's ops everywhere and you need to learn to protect yourself. You out of everyone are the most special out of all of us, you're gonna be able to protect yourself better than everyone. But first of all, I need to teach you how to fight. So he teaches me how to fight and he's quick as fuck, my guy. - Neo? - Yes, it's fucking Neo, bro.

- I knew the film straight away. - Oh my God, that took you guys way too long. - I didn't know his name. - You don't know Neo's name? - I watched it years ago, I can't remember. - I'll take the L on that. - Okay, so yes, I am Neo from the Matrix. - Yeah. - Fuck. - I don't know anything, I don't know enough about the Matrix storyline to even have a close up. - This is one of the most successful franchises of all time. - I don't doubt that, I know that's true. - Fair, Ellis is livid. Sorry, my bro.

The second guy I thought it was, when you say eat this and blah blah, I was thinking of, I can't remember his name, the actor from Limitless. Bradley Cooper. Bradley Cooper. Things aren't adding up. So dreams? I'm thinking dreams? That was a dream? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck. Cool. So that's this week's Who Am I? All right. I'm happy. Cool. That was a good one. All right. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. Sorry, Ellis. I can see you sweating. Damn.

I'm happy about that one. Fuck. Okay, cool. Right. So, Fwaze, we've got a thread. So this is a thread that was posted on Twitter. The caption is ladies and gents share. Oh, so ladies and gents shared a jaw dropping confession with us. A thread. So here's one of them. So I went to a birthday party with my boyfriend. It was his friend that was celebrating his birthday. And there was a fine guy that was eyeing me up all along.

Jesus. Oh, my God.

This guy was entering my soul and I had to stay longer to do with him. Confession number one. Yeah. Wow. My boyfriend's walking around, babe. Yeah. Calling the phone. And she's just getting banged. Yeah. Slipped it in from behind. Said all her senses were gone. Yeah. There's certain times. All right, cool. I'm just going to pause ahead of time here. There's certain times you hear women describe dick. Yeah.

- There's certain times you hear women describe dick and you think, "Bah." - Yeah. - I wonder. - I felt it in my soul. I lost all my senses. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - That's dick. - Yeah, dick. - Yeah. - Yeah, run it.

It was ignoring my boyfriend because I was receiving that demon dick. Yeah. What's all that? Fuck. Yeah. Let me taste that. Let me just see some. What's it really about? What's all the hubbub about, man? Wow. Oh, God. Confession number two. Fola, please help a girl out. I have two boyfriends and I'm not ashamed to admit it. You can't lay your eggs in one basket.

One is rich and doesn't really have the time for me because of work, while the other one is always available because he's not doing anything. My rich boyfriend usually sends me money and I flex with it. I flex it with the other nigga. And then when we have and then we have mad sex and I feel like I love him more because he's always available. But but my rich guy is so caring and I'm always scared that he might leave for another lady somewhere.

That's why I want to keep him close. Am I wrong to have two men at the same time or am I right? Confession number two. - You don't have two men at the same time though, do you? - No, she's- - You've got one guy that just gives you money and you spend it on your boyfriend and then you fuck your boyfriend and you love your boyfriend. - Facts. - And then you take my money again and you spend and you fuck and you love. - Facts. - And you take, take, take, take, take and give, give, give, give, give. - You're the middle man. - You don't have two boyfriends. - Yeah, you're the facilitator. - Yeah. - Wow, okay. - Number three.

I just found out that my boyfriend is a mechanic and I'm so pissed. How can you keep such a secret from me all this time? He told me he was an engineer, but I saw him last week at the mechanic workshop. Was driving by with my friends and those girls have a bad mouth. They cited him and asked me if that's not my boyfriend. I'm more angry about how I found out about it. If I told me from the start, it wouldn't have been an issue at all because I don't even care about the money. I have mine.

but keeping such a thing from me vexes me to my core. If he's not proud of his job, then I'm not proud of him too. - I just found out he's a mechanic and I've never been so pissed. - Pissed off. - That's horrible. - That is horrible. - I'm a tradesman. - That is horrible, but don't lie to me and tell me you're an engineer. - I might see myself as an engineer. - Yeah, facts! - I might see myself as an engineer. - My potential's there. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I'm two courses away. - Nah, man, I'm an engineer. - I'm two courses away. - You're a mechanic.

And my girls have a horrible mouth. Yeah, they saw it and was like, I swear that's your man fixing cars. Nah. On his back. On his back. Greasy hands. Greased up. On the floor. Couldn't be my man. Yeah, could never be. My man really is an engineer. Yeah. He holds meetings. Packs. Hold meetings. Yeah. All right. Last confession. I'll jump straight into it. I started dating Sophia about four years ago.

She was 20 years old at the time. We had a strong connection from the first day and she was very open and honest with me. She told me she was also into girls and I accepted it and didn't mind. She had a female lover and me as her male lover. Sometimes she's with me and sometimes she's with her female lover and it wasn't a big deal. One day she told me she had a threesome with her female lover and another guy. I was so pissed because I believed she crossed the line.

She said it was her female lover's idea. Why couldn't it have been me? Why couldn't it have been me then? I broke up with her, but I miss her so bad because we had an amazing friendship. Oh my God. Man just wanted that three piece. Why not me? Why couldn't it have been me? But yeah, those are the four confessions today. First of all, that's also the question I'm asking. Facts. Why not me?

- You love males and females. You are dating me or dating her. You're about to have a threesome. - Yeah, why am I not the immediate choice? - Facts bro. - We all know why, 'cause I'm a joke to you. - Yeah, I'm a joke to the both of them. - Yeah, you might've even pitched it. Someone pitched it, that's what I know. One of you bastards pitched it. - And the other one laughed. - The other one was like, "Obviously not." - "Obviously not." I want a man in the room. - I want a man. - I need a man in this room. - Nah, you're not inviting your little boyfriend. - He's a flimsy little boy. I need a man. - And she was just like, "Fair."

If you know a man, bring him. If you know a man, fucking bring him it. Because I'm going to need a man for two minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's four tees. I need a man in it. Yeah. Okay, that's crazy. That's crazy. All right, where we go next? Right. Tweets of the week to finish, yeah? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. When I finally post my man, I don't want to hear anybody saying, wow, but my dad though, she wants that older thing. Damn. My dad though.

Jesus, right. One of my biggest fears is if I'm out having drinks with a woman and I can't get the bartender's attention. Oh, you're just like, oh, it's so embarrassing. You want to kick the bar. It's so embarrassing. Listen to me. Listen to me. Oh.

- 'Cause she's watching men get served left, right and center. - Left, right and center, I'm clearly not the one. - There was one time, yeah, where me and you went out in Northampton and I'm glad there wasn't a woman in sight. We went out to a bar in Northampton, this is years ago. - It would have been. - Yeah, it would have been. We went out and for some reason,

the flippin Northampton Saints rugby team was all in this bar at the same time. - Yeah, I remember. - When I say you, man, there were seven Braves on this side, seven Braves on this side, me and Fiyad in the middle. And when I say it looked like a capital H, it went like that, down, up, and then. We were like children, you man. - A capital H is, the visual of that is beyond embarrassing. - Bro.

You look like a capital H. I was mortified. And if you think we drank that hour, you're mad. We were waving, waving down this bartender. - Yeah, the bartenders were serving men. - Yeah. - Serving men. - Man, I don't have time to check IDs today, guys. We're busy. We're busy. - Wow. - Oh, worst day of my life. - All right, next. - Cool. - If I'm already irritated, why would the door grab my pocket?

- Yeah. - There's no, the belt loop. - Yeah. - When that thing catches you in there and it makes you feel so insecure about your own strength. Because when I say this inanimate object drags you. - Drapes you by your waistline. It grips you. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. It's the worst feeling. Right, so this is a text chain, yeah? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You get home safe. Reply. Yes. Reply. - Oh, no.

- Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. You've seen this one, haven't you? - I don't think so. - Oh no, all right, cool. Text, you get home safe. - Yeah. - Reply, yes. Reply, you're ugly in person. Don't ever come here again. - Oh no! - Bro. - Don't ever come here again! That's so rude. - Bro! - That's so fucking rude, man. - That's crazy. Wow! - Don't ever come here again.

- I could have received that. I also could never send that. - And man just had enough manners to make sure she got home all right. - Yeah. And then he was like, all right, cool. No holds barred, I never could see her again. Wow. Right. Arguing with me is pointless. I knew I was wrong 10 minutes ago. Hey. - I don't claim to be one of those prayers, but yeah, sometimes it's, yeah. I find it when I argue with some of you man, I'm a bit like that. Especially Rem. - Where you knew you were wrong and you still arguing? - Yeah. - Okay. - Because he's so antagonizing. He's not humble in victory or defeat.

- I see that. - So it's just like, I can't step, I can't stand down now because you're antagonizing me. And I know at this point, I could know I was wrong 10 minutes ago, but if I quit, you're never gonna let me forget it. So I have to fight until both of us are tired. - Fair, fair. - Anyway, I walked in on my ex getting her cheeks clapped. So I tried to fight the guy. He ended up beating my ass so bad that I shitted on myself.

And as he was leaving, he told her, text me after you clean shitty boy up. They're married with two kids now. Text me when you clean shitty boy up. Wow. Bro. They're married with two kids now. Yeah.

- Do you know how many times they probably looked back at this scenario and laughed? - Laughed. - Laughed, my bro. - Do you remember when I rocked, what's his name? - What's his name? Mr. Hoo-ha, Mr. Shitty Boy. - So baby, you swung him. I've never seen something like that. You swung him. - I was so horny that day. - I was so horny. Wow, I couldn't wait to text you. - Text me when you clean up Shitty Boy.

- That's, oh. - Oh God. - There are guys in this world and there are men in this world. - Yeah, there's gents and then there's fucking beasts. - Fuck man. - Wow. - Imagine disrespecting me and I pay a crack head to walk up and kiss you. What would you actually do? What would you actually, 'cause you know them men are quicker on smoke as well.

It would be like Donnie from Reacts the other day. Yeah, with the phone. That pause was brutal as well. Bro, it was clean. Wow, that's disgusting. Right. Blocking him isn't enough. I need to watch his hairline recede. I saw that one. That's brutality. You're not watching that from me. That's brutality. I need to watch his hairline recede. That's out of order. Go on. I feel like I've read this one before, but I'll run it back.

I knew I was toxic when I put a condom in this boy's car and acted like I found out. Like I found it, sorry. The way I fake cried and was holding my chest, I need to be in a movie. You have read that one before and it's equally as disturbing the second time around. That's crazy, bro. Men know everything till you ask, who's she? Now he's clueless. Answer for everything until who's she? Yeah.

Dogs, man. Oh, God. Hilarious. Fucking hell. All right. My girlfriend is such a nerd. This hoe is in an escape room figuring out clues, talking about, aha, niggas too deep into character. Aha. That's funny. Right. Last one. This one's crazy. Yeah. She's claiming I slept with her man as if we even had time to sleep. Sis, your man is a beast. Women don't fear God. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Bro, they, yeah. - That whole sentence is crazy. - As if we even had time to sleep. Sis, your man is a beast. - She's saying what we did, we didn't sleep with each other. - Yeah, you can't say, yeah, we slept together. - No. - That's no, no, no, no. - That's what you man do. - Yeah, that's what you man do in your little. - What we did, we raised a roof. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, wow. - Wow. - We were sweating. - This man's a beast.

- I couldn't be said alpha in that context. I couldn't. - I couldn't read that tweet knowing it's me. - Yeah, I couldn't. - I'll bite my nails off. I'll bite my nails off. - That's hilarious. - Sis, your man is a beast. - Yeah. I know my chest will grow three inches just there. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Octaves will drop in my voice.

- Wow, yeah, yeah, yeah. - This one is a Instagram conversation, Instagram DM conversation. So Donnie replied to, I'm assuming an OnlyFansGirls pic. - Okay. - He replied, "Damn, Ma, wanna play 21 questions?" Reply, "I'm okay to be honest." Reply, "All right, just ask me a question." Reply, "I just said, all right, do you have any pet peeves?" Reply, "Yeah, I got two dogs, are you a virgin?"

- Do you have any pet peeves? - Yeah, I got two dogs. - Are you a virgin? - Massad, let me ask my question. - ASAP. - Now. - That was funny. All right guys. Oh, I forgot to do the intro again. - Run it now. - Damn man, I'm losing my touch. Right guys, intro with the outro. - Let's go. - Guys. - Girls.

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