Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
This season, Instacart has your back to school. As in, they've got your back to school lunch favorites like snack packs and fresh fruit. And they've got your back to school supplies like backpacks, binders, and pencils. And they've got your back when your kid casually tells you they have a huge school project due tomorrow. Let's face it, we were all that kid.
I used to think as soon as I had to reach out in my head, I was like, it's over. It's over. I'm going back downstairs. I have to go back downstairs. It's over. You're not getting lips tonight.
Actually, no, wait. Intro. Hit me. Intro. Hit me. Patreon. Oh, you know the vibes. You know the vibes, guys. You already know the vibes, guys. So Patreon is Boogie Oogie Oogie now. As per normal. As per normal, you run over there every Thursday and you get the extra laughs. That's 50% of its content for £3 a month. That's all we're asking.
Three pound a month. Minimum. Baseline. Baseline. Three pound a month. 10p a day. 10p a day. Run the pee, man. Run the pee. That's it. So hop on over there. Enjoy yourself. Live lavish. Laugh it up every Thursday. And you get the stuff that we're not allowed to say on here. You get the stuff that you were not allowed to say. And I don't know what more we can ask for. So hop on over. It's patreon.com forward slash shits and gigs. Enjoy yourself.
And yeah, man, now we're actually going to get into the episode. We're going to get into the episode. Let's go. Come on, man. So this fun fact is about boxing or a boxing film, Rocky. While filming Rocky IV, Sylvester Stallone asked Dolph Lundgren to hit him for real. Dolph agreed and then hit him so hard that Stallone had to spend nine days in recovery in intensive care.
In a later interview, Dove showed no sympathy, stating, all I did was obey his orders. That's the Russian guy, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This brother. Man said, all I did was obey his orders. He stayed in character. He stayed in character. He rocked his jaw and Sylvester Stallone spent nine days in intensive care. That's why you know you're a man's man, isn't it?
You know you're a man's man. Who, Stallone or the other brother? The other guy. I was going to say. Rocky Man's Jordan is an intensive, for one bang. Intensive care. Mad. If I was Stallone and I came out after that, I'm cutting the whole movie short. I'm tearing the contract then and there. Stop production now. Now? My life is on the line. Yeah. To be fair, why would you say hit me for real? He wanted to be in character. I get it. I get it. I get it. But big man? Michael B. Jordan got tamped up as well in Creed, didn't it?
by um Liverpool guy I can't remember his name but yeah banged what the fuck is his name I don't know his name bro I think I know his name I just can't remember it his name is um he fought the no he didn't um oh I can't remember his name I'm so bad with names people are probably screaming it but anyway yeah the guy from Liverpool that's in creed um yeah he he I'm pretty sure he gave him a concussion damn banged him but I'm not surprised getting hit by a boxing glove
For how it feels like headache wise is worse than a bare fist. Bro, it rocks your fucking head. I've never boxed before, so I don't know how to spar. It rocks your head. You can feel your brain moving around. Speaking of boxing, did you watch the Anthony Joshua fight? I didn't watch it live. I watched the highlights. I've not even seen. Obviously, I did watch it live. I was at work, but I haven't seen any of the highlights or anything. It went all the rounds, no? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. AJ got tummed up. I was going to say, give me your synopsis of it. AJ got smacked about like a yak. So no sympathy knighting? Sympathy? I don't know. I don't know. I've not seen it. All I know is that he lost. He got smacked up. Smacked up in that last round as well. His team threw in the towel. No. But no one knows this. This is the funny thing. Okay. No one knows this. So...
In the last round, the last 10 seconds, AJ was getting tarted up. Donnie was putting paws on him. Yeah, tarted up. And basically, and you see the bottom left corner of the screen, where the timer is, they do the little whatever it is. To signal 10 seconds. To signal 10 seconds. And then, it's like a wood clap, isn't it? Yeah, that's 10 seconds. It says here, it goes 10 seconds.
nine at eight the graphic comes off the screen two seconds later they ring the bell there was five seconds left in that round six five six seconds left in that round Anthony was getting banged oh really and everyone's like what the fuck happened like why would why would they cut it short um and they're like oh we're trying to that a lot of people the narrative for a lot of it was they're trying to save face for Anthony in case he was going to get locked out in the last few seconds of the final round but someone who said that
That was just the narrative in the media. Okay. That like they, and he's not sure it's got, it's got such, there's so many millions of pounds wrapped around the career of AJ that they can't afford him to get knocked out in the last round. In the last couple of 10 seconds. Yeah. So they locked off the whole fight a few seconds early. Okay. So that was the narrative. But then I saw a guy on TikTok who caught it from a different angle. And then you look over at AJ's corner and they're waving the towel. They're waving the towel.
So that's why they were, I think that's why the bell guy saw that the ref hadn't seen the towel. The bell guy saw it and rang the bell. But because the ref didn't see it, it never went forward as a TKO, which it should. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So just went down as that's the end of the fight.
Say swear. Bro, Anthony got touched up. Apparently, I can't remember, what's this guy's name? Is that Yusik or something? What's it like? Yeah, Yusik. Yusik, yeah. He, apparently, he still had enough energy to go again. Oh, yeah. He looked active. He was ready, fam. The thing is, as well, it's tough. This is,
Right. This is the tough thing about boxing. It's because for some reason, I don't know when, I don't know around about, I guess it's kind of Mayweather's fault. It was kind of around that Mayweather stroke. Oh God, this is me with names again. Who's the guy...
Who's the fucking druggie guy? Ricky Hatton. Okay. He's, he's money based. Yeah. I say quite a bit. I see him once in a while. Is he fat still? Yeah, of course. Ricky Hatton. Yeah. He was undefeated before he fought Mayweather as well. Okay. So around about this Mayweather era,
there's this boxing culture that came around that you have to be undefeated. Okay. You're just no one unless you're undefeated. Okay. So just losing is not a thing, but everyone lost back in the day. Everyone used to lose Muhammad Ali lost three times, four times. Um, and there was never like a shake on his name. He's still Muhammad Ali. Muhammad Ali lost Mike Tyson lost. Um, if I had a Holyfields lost, uh,
David Hay definitely lost. He's been losing. He's been losing. From David Hay stays losing. Um, all the greats lost. Um, maybe it was the only one that's like shot forward. This like narrative that like you have to be undefeated. Um, even though he's not the one saying it, that's just how it is. So if you're a book, they build so much around these boxes. Uh,
Tyson Fury, Wilder and AJ, the three Kings, like they're fighting again. This, this, uh, well, it would have been last week. Yeah. Yeah. So they're fighting again. Uh, well they would have fought already by the time this comes out. But, um, yeah, like they're just not allowed to lose. And AJ losing last time was a shake up. Yeah. It was a shake up. But then he came back and wrapped him up, wrapped him up like a present. Um,
Which is what I should have done. Yeah, yeah. Apparently there's going to be a second fight because I was, well, I say apparently it, who knows? It was all, it was all like Chinese whispers and second, second ears and stuff because I was at work one day and coincidentally, I think maybe two or three days after the fight, the CEO of Under Armour and one of the owners of, or like a high representative, maybe CEO or CEO of JD Sports were having dinner together in my spot.
And they were just talking, obviously talking about the AJ fight and blah, blah, blah. And the JD brother was like, oh, they're definitely having another fight. Who? AJ and who? This other brother that he just fought. Usyk? Yeah. Oh, yeah, they will have a fight. Who do you think I was talking about? I thought you were talking about the last brother. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, AJ and Usyk are definitely having another fight. Yeah, 100% AJ will tear him up as well. That's just how AJ fights. It's just like, I feel like sometimes, obviously I don't see his training camp and all this stuff. I feel like AJ falls in.
into his own, like, how do I explain it? It's tough for AJ. AJ's never had to struggle with context. He's never, like, AJ is someone who potentially has the potential to be an amazing fighter, but hasn't necessarily had the life experience to be one. So if you think about AJ's career, right? Mm-hmm.
So let's take about, we'll talk about Mayweather's career versus AJ's career, right? Okay. You will know a lot more than me. I'm just going to get there. Right. So yeah, I'll talk you through it. Right. So if you look at both of them are like Olympic athletes, right? So you'd look at Mayweather's career. His career is very similar to AJ's. In terms of? In terms of they were both like very successful amateur boxers. And then because they were so successful were...
kind of guided through their professional career. The difference is, is at a lighter weight class, it's harder to find a guy that you can 100% smack up. Okay. Because at the lighter weight classes, it's more skill and speed. Mm-hmm.
You've seen some of the donuts AJ's had fights with. They look like they've never boxed before. That's what happens at the heavyweight. You're not as skilled. You're strong as fuck, but you're not as skilled. If you're a good boxer, it's easier to do well in the heavyweight division. I'm with you. So Mayweather... The difference with Mayweather is...
his uncle and his dad were both ex-professional boxers. He's been boxing since he was a little kid with professional boxers his whole life. So that's why he's one of the greatest boxers who ever lived. AJ, on the other hand, is a big Nigerian kid who obviously boxed, came up the same path
Everyone else did and did very well. I think he won the gold in the Olympics in a super heavyweight division, I think. It was a while back now. Oh, years ago. 2012 or maybe 2008 or something like that. But this is the thing as well that no one was talking about. Jusic won a gold in the heavyweight division in the exact same Olympics. Really? They're both gold medalist Olympians. But Jusic, people talk like it's a huge upset that...
Yusuf beat AJ. He's a gold medalist. He's the real fucking deal. He's no joke. But anyway, so...
Mayweather came up. He's a bread boxer. He did well. I think he got silver in the Olympics. Okay. I don't think he got silver in the Olympics. He came up. Obviously, he got his fights picked for him early on, et cetera, et cetera. But he's picked his fights his whole career. But he is literally one of the best boxers, if not the best boxer, power of a pound, who ever lived. But that's because of his upbringing and his ethos around boxing. Boxing is his life. AJ is someone who's come in, boxed, and taken the exact same grassroots approach as
He hasn't had boxing in his house. Like his dad is not a professional boxer who forced him to be like the prodigy. He's come up through grassroots, happened to be a big kid, was probably quite talented and did very well in the amateurs for his size. If you actually look at his boxing skill and ability, take loads of weight off him, he would get destroyed in a lighter weight class. Absolutely annihilated.
Based on his skill level. But because he's done so well, he was a ute when he won the gold medal in the Olympics. He was a ute, bro. So he's been taken from this Olympic...
like handsome young black uk male win the gold in the olympics they've cherry-picked him when he had way more growing to do yeah way more growing to do to become a better boxer and they've been like cool fight this scrub you're better than him fight him you're better than him fight him you're better than him fight him you're better than him he's had one or two difficult fights in order to get the belts he's got the belts and he's never really had to face hardship yeah like real hardship
He's only now facing the big boys because he's got no one left and people are surprised why he's losing. It's like, he's never had to fight anyone hard in his entire life. Like if you obviously in the amateurs and stuff, I was a kid as a grown ass man. He's never had to fight anyone like who is a seriously skilled boxer. And when he has, um, he's either had the hardest fight of his fucking life or he's lost and then had to come back and win, which is, and then he's, he's very next opponent. He's lost again. Um,
And he's going to have to come back and win again, which he will. But I feel like sometimes he falls within the premise of his own narrative. People build him up to be the best boxer England's ever had. And he is not. And that's not his fault. So I don't have any hate towards AJ. It's not his fault. But sometimes I feel like he falls into that narrative. And he gets a wake up call when he loses. And he comes back and tumps people up. Which is great. But people don't give him the chance to lose again.
and come back when he loses he's forgotten and he has to seriously like he's already on the cusp of falling out of these three kings he's lucky that Wilder and Fury are fighting yeah for the third time yeah because one of them is losing each time yeah yeah yeah one of them is losing each time so it makes it even for him to lose yeah
Whereas if Wilder was off doing his thing, Fury was off doing his thing. And they both won. But these man ain't losing, fam. Wilder knocks people out in one punch. Yeah, yeah. These man ain't losing. Tyson Fury is potentially one of the best heavyweights who ever lived. Like his skill for his size doesn't make sense, big man.
These men ain't going to be losing if they're within their own separate lanes. And then AJ was just going over here, getting tombed up by every left. Tom, Dick and Harry, AJ will get slapped out of the race. Slapped out of the race. Fair enough. It's only because these two are fighting each other that he's allowed to stay in this community. Okay. But he has the potential, but he's got like, he needs like another three, four years. And he's never faced any of them too, has he? Oh no. No, no, no.
Because I remember Wilder was trying to get on him. Oh, yeah. Both of them were trying to get on him. Both of them had been trying to get... Him and Fury had a contract signed. Him and Fury had a contract signed to fight. But Wilder... Fury was in Manning like a year ago, a year and a half ago. Wilder? Wilder, yeah. He was there when me and you were eating in Asia. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We didn't see him there, did we? No. He went to another restaurant, I remember. Okay. So, yeah. Wilder had a rematch clause with Fury. So Fury wasn't allowed to fight AJ. Okay.
That's why they're having this fight. So who won? Because obviously this is their third one. So I'm assuming one won the other one. It was a draw. The first one was a draw? First one was a draw. Tyson Fury smoked him in the second one. Oh, I swear. Smoked him in the second one. I love how enthusiastic you get. This is how it was when I talk about football. So I'm loving being on the other side of the table. So this is the thing about Wilder, right? Terrible boxer. I've seen his form. He's more like this. Terrible boxer. But he's got power. He's got...
More power than anyone understands. He's the most powerful guy ever. No one understands why he's so strong, but he has ridiculous knockout power. So he just catches you and that's your soul is done. But he cannot box for shit. So the first one,
Fury was just so scared about getting knocked out that he wasn't fighting that game. Okay. But Fury still technically, in my opinion on points, Fury beat him in the first one. Okay. He still tombed him up in the first one, but he got knocked down twice, maybe three times in the first fight. So points wise, that balanced out the score for the judges. It balanced out. So they locked it up as a draw. And Wilder didn't get knocked down once at all. Wilder didn't get knocked down at all. Tyson stayed getting knocked down. Okay. That,
That right, it doesn't make sense. When he hits you with the right, you're out. It doesn't matter who you are. I need to watch the two again before I watch the third. Yeah, second fight, Fury realized, oh, this guy can't actually do shit. He especially can't fight off his back foot. If you put him on the back foot, he can't do anything. So all the second fight, Fury was just moving forward, forward, forward, forward, thumping him up, thumping him up, slashing,
smacked him in that second fight okay so in my opinion you smacked him in the first fight but he kept knocking you down then you tumped him up again didn't get knocked down at all in the second fight and now he should have wrapped it up from there should have been like you got tumped up the first one but you got lucky second one i've definitely tumped you up let's just leave it there but now he said nah third one let's run it back a third time so who agreed for this so both this was already in their contract from from the first jump from either the first or the second i don't know okay
but I think it might have been from the first I think it was a two rematch clause in the first one Jesus and
Because for these men, it makes sense because for these men, these are their career high fights. It's the most money they're ever going to make on a fight and they don't know what their career is going to look like afterwards. Yeah. I've not thought about it that way before. But if you think about it, since Tyson Fury beat Wilder, who's given a fuck about Wilder? No one. No one knows what Wilder's been doing with his career since he got tumped up by Fury last time. So this is why they have all these rematch clauses. Okay. All these rematch clauses because it's like,
You work all your whole career and then you have these guys, these top three, four guys. And once you've made your way through those, your career's done. If you're not the guy who won all of them, your career's done. Tyson Fury's going to beat both of them. He's going to beat Wilder and he's going to beat AJ. AJ is loved so much in this country that he might be fine afterwards. Wilder probably not.
But he'll have more money than he ever needs anyway. But Tyson Fury is also old. Actually, how old is Tyson Fury? I don't know. He looks fucking old. He looks like 36. Yeah, but the thing is, the only thing with Tyson Fury is that... Let's have a look. So Tyson Fury age. Oh, he's 33. He's kind of old. Age is 31. Deontay Wilder is 35. Wow. These men are old. They're all old. Deontay Wilder didn't start boxing until he was like 20. And he
got a silver medal in the Olympics gold medal in the Olympics oh wow Deontay Wilder's crazy so it's not for Deontay it's not more about the skill it's just more of the power because he can't he has no skill I've seen him box like a few times yeah but not like a whole match but like different rounds or like different like snippets on like socials and stuff yeah and the way he swings doesn't make sense sometimes
And obviously he's like 6'5", 6'6". So he's armed. He's reach is disgraceful. He's all power. All power. But I think he's gonna... Yeah. I don't know, man. So that's what it is. They've got all these rematch clauses because once you make your way through the top guys, if you come up at the bottom, your career's pretty much done. Really? Kind of. Because especially at that age, he's 35 years old. Yeah, obviously at that age. He can only fight people lower than him now. He can't carry on. He's not the champion. Yeah.
So he's not going to get another championship. If you fought... So let's say you're Deontay Wilder. Let's say you fought... This is awkward because the fight actually hasn't happened yet. But when this airs, the fight will have happened. So I don't know if he's lost or won. Okay, but I know what you mean. But let's say in retrospect, let's say you are Deontay Wilder and you've lost to Tyson Fury for the second time now at the third fight. So...
You're not going to get another shot at him. He's the champion now and you're not. You're not going to get another chance. Well, he's already the champion and you're not. You take your last chance. You lose again. He's never, ever going to give you another chance. Why would he? Why would he? Yeah. So now you can only fight people below you. Mm-hmm.
And you're only getting older and they're getting better. So every fight that you have below you, people pay less and less to see because they don't actually care. And the only way you can make big money is if you fight the hardest up and comer coming up. And he may not even want to fight you yet. And if he does want to fight you, he might thump you up. So it's a risk every single time. And you're already 35. Yeah, the life of a fighter is not nice, bro. Damn. And then you've got the AJ side, same again. AJ...
AJ has to avoid those men as long as he can. And the best thing you want to do is avoid them so long that when you finally do fight them, like let's say he finally fights Tyson Fury. He wants to fight Tyson Fury when Tyson Fury is like out of his prime. He wants to fight Tyson Fury when Tyson Fury is in terrible shape. He's just had his third mental breakdown this year. He's had another six kids. Yeah.
Fight him then. Yeah. That's when you want to fight him. If you're AJ. And that's kind of what Mayweather did a lot for his career as well. Oh, really? He fought... So, you know... Bless. Thank you. Canelo Alvarez.
Canelo, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Along with Mayweather, debatably, pound for pound, the best box of going, fam. Fam, he's got speed. Speed and fucking power. I've seen him on the bags. Speed and fucking... I've seen him on the bags. He's a talented youth, fam. Yeah, yeah, I've seen him on the bags. He got tumped up by Mayweather when he was a kid. Okay. When he was up and coming. Mm-hmm.
Mayweather knew he was going to be the shit. So Mayweather would never fight him once he was good. He also, Mayweather also fought Oscar De La Hoya when Oscar De La Hoya was past his prime. Would never fight Oscar De La Hoya in his prime. He probably still would have beat him. In my opinion, I've seen a lot of Oscar De La Hoya fights. I've seen a lot of Mayweather fights. I still think Mayweather would have beat Oscar De La Hoya, but it's just not worth it. It's not worth the risk. Mayweather's never taken a risk in his entire career.
He doesn't take risks like that. They're always calculated risks. And that's why he's rich as fuck. Yeah. He makes sure bets. He makes sure. Yeah. He makes sure bets. Why wouldn't you? Because he's in it for the P. Even though he's talented, he's got this talent and he's like, I'm going to make so much money out of this. It doesn't make sense. And at the same time, I'm also not going to get my head caved in. So, yeah, he made himself like easily the best defensive boxer who ever lived.
Even if he's not the best boxer overall, he's the best defensive boxer who ever lived. He always makes calculated risks and fights the best fighters at their worst time. That's skillful. If he fought Canelo in his prime...
Canelo would wipe the fucking floor with him. When would you say Canelo's prime was? Or is? I don't know. Now? Really? For the last three years? If he would have fought him three years ago when Mayweather was still kind of active. Same, another one, Manny Pacquiao. He fought Manny Pacquiao when he had like a broken arm. Manny Pacquiao was fucked when he fought him. And that was such a sought after fight because Manny Pacquiao was a killer. Yeah. A fucking killer. A Filipino fucking killer. Yeah.
Mayweather didn't want any part of it yeah yeah yeah waited until he fucked his arm up and then was like let's scrap come let's go let's go handicap fam it was a boring fight as well boring fight Pacquiao couldn't do shit Mayweather was just playing it safe boring fight
Yeah, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mayweather does. He's not stupid. Fair. And he's talented enough that no one can say with chest. So even though he's cherry picking all his fights, no one can say that even if he wasn't, anyone could do him something anyway because he's so good. But yeah, Canelo Alvarez in his prime, he'd swallow Mayweather. He'd swallow him, fam.
Canelo's a fucking animal. He's fighting people like three weight classes above him. Really? Obviously he has the meat weight. Yeah, of course. But bro, he's fucking up like light heavyweights. What's his regular thingy? Regular weight class? Like welterweight. Oh, really? Something ridiculous like that. Something ridiculous like that. Oh, wow.
He's mopping people up. Oh, wow. Did you see his press conference the other week? No, I don't follow him like that. I don't follow Boxing that much. I just saw it on TikTok. I didn't even follow it. I just saw it on TikTok. Okay. Fam, he smacked one guy in a press conference. But it was like, oh,
He split his eye open. So he's fighting a guy. They were having a face-off. And the guy said something. And Canelo Alvarez doesn't speak any English. He's Mexican. Doesn't speak any fucking English, which is ridiculous. At this level, it's ridiculous, but whatever. And the guy said something to him. And he thought he was saying something about his mum. So the guy said something. He thought he was saying something about his mum. Canelo Alvarez pushed him. The guy said, yeah? Yeah.
Swung for him. Canela Alvarez gave him a quick slip. As he slipped, smacked. No, he actually punched him. Gave him a quick slip. Bang. Lightning fast. Lightning fast. Wap-bap. Guy came up. Eye bleeding.
Fuck. And I was ready in a press conference, suit and tie. Fuck. Gave him a slip and a bang. I was like, oh my God, he stays ready. Oh my God. Fam, he's a fucking animal. He would destroy Mayweather. Destroy him. If it was prime and prime, I actually don't know. It would be the fight of a century. Oh, where?
Canelo in his prime versus Mayweather in his prime, the fight of a fucking lifetime that no one knows who will win. I love the enthusiasm, bro. I love it. I'm here for it. Oh my God. I mean, I'm envisioning it all. And my only actual, cause I don't follow boxing that much. I just know a few names here and there. And I see a couple of fights or a couple of highlights and replays. My only true, not necessarily, I wouldn't say true reference, but my only other reference point is anime Hajime no Ippo.
So when you're talking about slips, I'm imagining my man. I'm like, fuck it. Oh, yeah, damage. Bro. Damage. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be the fight of a century. Speaking of fighting, there was a fight a couple of weeks ago. Brian Ortega versus Alex Volkanovski. Volkanovski. Polish? Something like that, bro. Probably the best fight of MMA I've ever seen.
Probably the best fight of MMA I've ever fucking seen, bro. Talk to me. Oh! So, these men must be so bored if they don't like fighting. They'll get used to it. So, check this out. So, it's hard if you don't understand jiu-jitsu. It's hard. But basically, if you take Brian Ortega, who's a great fighter, really, really, really good at jiu-jitsu. Really good at jiu-jitsu. What belt is he?
Oh, he's black belt. Black belt, yeah. Oh, 100% he's black belt. I actually don't know, but he's definitely black belt. Yeah. So in terms of submissions, catching you and stuff like that, given the opportunity, he's going to snap you up. Volkanovski is just an overall, he's a champion, overall beast. Overall beast, bro. So you're in there. Is this heavyweights, by the way? No, no, no, no, no. This is 100 and, oh, they're quite light. I want to say either 155, maybe 170. Mm-hmm.
And they're in there. They're going. Volkanovski's tumping his head in so accurately that it's concerning. It doesn't matter where Ortega goes. He's teeing off on his head. Ortega's face is disheveled. It's swollen in places that don't make sense. It's lost shape. And he's teeing off on his head like it's a speed bag. Yeah.
And he's clocking him, fam. Yeah. And then just as you're watching it in the third round, you're like, Ortega's done. Yeah. But he's fighting for his life. He's standing and he's swinging. And you're thinking, I give ratings to Ortega. Yeah. But it's a wrap. Yeah. You're a few seconds from getting dropped. Fam, out of nowhere, he throws his right hand. To Ortega. Ortega throws his right hand, puts Volkanovski on his arse. Mm-hmm.
And then goes in for a mounted guillotine from standing. So basically what that means is if I'm sat down here, half lying down, you say, you just put me on my ass. I'm sat down kind of half lying, half trying to get up. So my head's here. My hands are here. Yeah. Yeah. I can envision it. You leap on top of me. Yeah.
So you're face to face, you're deep on top of me, mounted. So he's sitting on top of him. He grapevined him, which means he wrapped his legs under here. So you're on top of me and you've wrapped your legs under my legs. So he can't get up now. So he can't get up. And you've got me in a headlock. So forward. Forward. Mounted guillotine.
forward headlock and choked the living shit out of him. It was like in a split second, Fouhad. A split second. Dropped him and he leapt on him like a tiger. It's such a complex move to do that you would never do it from a standing position. You don't leap on someone like that. Fouhad, I've never seen anything like it. You'd have to show me a clip. I'll show you tonight. You don't leap on someone like that. Stop it. I couldn't believe my eyes, fam.
I physically couldn't believe my eyes. And he locked it in, bro. Volkanovski was gargling. He said after the fight, he said he was gargling. He locked it the fuck in. But it takes so much arm strength to try and choke the life out of someone like that, that if you can hold out long enough, you can survive it. Somehow Volkanovski didn't tap out. Oh, really? Even though he was choking so much that spit was coming out of his mouth.
Eventually, he loosened the grip a little bit. Because he couldn't hold it. Because he couldn't keep it. His bicep was probably cramping. Couldn't keep it. Vosnoffs got out. Got out. We returned to our feet and we go again. Teeing off on his head again. Now Vosnoffs is vexed. Yeah, of course. Starts teeing off on his head again. I think either the third round or the fourth round.
Ortega, revenge time, fam. And you're like, it's a wrap. Someone throwing the towel because Ortega's face is fucked. He's just been getting ruined this whole fight. He had that one chance with the mountain guillotine. It's done now. It's done. Von Knosser gets him down. Ortega's here on the floor with his legs up trying to defend himself. Von Knosser will top him and just go whack, whack. And not even fast time. He's generating power. Whack.
That's the worst. Whack, fam. Oh, scare me. I'm not going to lie to you. I'll be like, fuck. The ground and pound? Whack. Whack. And you're just like, ref, stop it. Stop it, yeah. Please. It's a general safety. Please stop it. It's a general health and safety now. Fam, as he goes in to land the finishing blow, Ortega grabs his arm, gets him in a triangle. So a triangle... So a triangle is where, say, okay, it's really hard to demonstrate, but basically...
you've captured one arm. Yeah, so I'm laying down, yeah. So you're laying down. He's trying to punch me. He's trying to punch you. You've captured one of his arms, right? Yeah. You're holding on to that. Yeah. So you get one leg on the trap.
Of the arm that he got? No. Of the other arm? Of the other arm that you don't have. So with the left, for example. So yeah, if you've got his left arm. If I've got his right arm. Yeah, you've got this arm on this side. It'll be the left. You've locked it in. You've taken your left leg and you've got it on his trap. Yeah. And that's wrapped around that now. So he's got this arm free this side. Yes. You're not touching it. Yes. On his left trap. Yes. And you bend your knee so your leg's in a right angle. Like this. Your hamstring's on his trap and your lower leg's wrapped around the back of his leg. Like this.
Back of his legs. Back of his neck. Oh, sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Sam? Your hamstring's on his trap. You've angled your leg this way. I can see it. And your calf is on the back of his neck. I can see it. And your heel is on the other side of his shoulder. Yes, I can see it. I can see it. You've now locked this arm. Yeah. And you've locked his head down. Are you pulling him? You're pulling him towards you. And then you get your other leg and you cross your legs over like this. Like this? Yeah. Yeah. In a triangle position. Okay. Clamp down and you choke the fuck out of him with your legs. You've got one arm here to stop him getting away. Okay.
And you've got his head in between your legs and you're squeezing your legs together for dear life to choke him to death. He caught him in it. Caught him in it. Just as he was about to get knocked the fuck out. Caught him in there. Again, gargling for life. Volkanovski gargling for life again.
After he's been winning this whole fight, two separate occasions, he's nearly done. Somehow gets out of it again. No way. And Bruno, Bruno Tegas Jiu Jitsu is fantastic. You don't get out of these things. Once he's got it locked in, you don't get out. Yeah. He survived it again, bro. Again. And then for the rest of that round, teed the fuck off on his head again, revenge style. Started tumping the fuck out of Ortega again. Jesus. Jesus.
The fifth round, everyone was like, enough is enough. You look at Ortega's head. He looks like he's got elephantitis. Jesus. His face is fucked. The ref is, the doctor's talking to him. He can't answer questions correctly. He don't know where he is. He gets up in the fifth round and everyone's like, nah, stop the fight, fam. Stop the fight. It's done. You had your two chances to submit him. Valiant effort, but you didn't get it. And we're sorry for you. But you didn't get it. Bro, Ortega comes out dizzy in that round. Yeah.
Volkanovski is tired, but he knows he's won this. Fan goes for a swing, swing. Ortega, slip, slip. Whack, whack, whack. Ortega is coming out guns blazing Fuhad. Whack, whack, whack, whack. Volkanovski knows it's the last round. So he's like, yeah, yeah. Doing the little, yeah, whack, whack.
Fam, he shudders back. He shudders back, tries to get his arms up. Whack, whack. Starts thumping the fuck out of him. Ortega's going nuts. Fam, where he got this energy, I don't know. Whack, whack, whack. The whole time, fam. Bell rings. Everyone's aghast, fam. Blood everywhere. They bring it up. Luckily, Volkanovski, because Volkanovski thumped him up for the entire fight, he wins the fight. But Ortega goes out on his shield, fam.
He goes out and his shoe just collapses, gets dragged out the thing. Best MMA fight I've ever seen in my life. Wow. I've never seen anything like it. Every time he was about to go, snapped him in some elite jujitsu. Elite jujitsu. Couldn't believe it. You just describing it all. I was there. I felt like I was ringside. I felt like I was ringside. It was phenomenal. It sounded. It was phenomenal. It sounded it. Oh, creme de la creme of fighting. Gang. Creme de la creme.
Just to be able to watch that fight and appreciate that fight made it worth the fucking two years of Jiu-Jitsu I've done. Just to understand how difficult that is to do. Couldn't believe it. That's gang. That guillotine, I gasped when I saw it. It just mounted on me. He leapt on him. I'll show you that. He leapt on him. Oh, I need to see the fight. I physically couldn't believe it. I need to see the highlights of that fight. Oh, 100%. It's worth it. It's worth it. It's a fantastic fight. Gang. Fantastic fight. Gang.
Fucking hell, we've been talking. You've been talking. I've been listening. I was engulfed in that. Don't be sorry. If you're still here, we're going to get into the juice because... So if you guys have been sticking with us for the last few weeks, you'll know that we've been going back and forth with who gives what the ick. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Guys give this the ick. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Girls give us the ick here. And Foo Head did a little post on Instagram a couple of weeks ago of what gives girls the ick, what gives guys the ick. And we're going to reel off some of the highlights. And we're just going to put this bitch to bed. So which one do you want to go for first? Girls or guys? Let's do guys first and then we'll end off with the ladies. All right, cool. So the things that give guys the ick are...
One, when she plays the game better than you. That's sticky. Wow. Okay. A lot of these ones are the ones I never reply to on Instagram. Okay. There were quite a few that I didn't see until later on. Some guy said when she doesn't watch anime, which is jokes. Definitely when the little kids are running around me and they're trying to touch my shit. What? Why are you even in that situation? Little kids? What? So he's saying what gives him the ick about girls said when her little kids are around me trying to touch my shit.
I mean, that's just your problem. Oh, wow. That's not even a nick. Wow. That's just your personal problem with that personal situation. This one for me is key. Girls with no rhythm. For me. It's the worst. It's, you know. I know who you're talking about. You know who I'm talking about. I know. She's.
Like, you can't be peng with no rhythm. 10 out of 10, banging. It just doesn't add up to me. I haven't seen this, obviously, no rhythm thing that you're talking about. But from the pictures you showed me, 10 out of 10, banging. It just doesn't add up to me, broski. It's not fair. It's not. She's got no rhythm. Girls with no rhythm are the worst. Are the worst. Yeah, that gives me superior ick. You might not have it. I saw one of them on there that said, when she looks like she smells of ham. Fam? Fam?
I don't know if this is related to what he was talking about. Yeah. But there are some like obese chicks I've seen in my day. And I've got nothing wrong with overweight females. But there's some obese chicks that I've seen in the day. I'm just like, I know she stinks. Just from looking at her, I know she stinks. And then she might come and try to chat to me or something. And ham is a very particular way to describe it. Ham is a very particular way to describe it.
But I know exactly what he's talking about. She stinks just like that. Just like what I feared she would. Ham, you know. Oh, that is... That's not on. That's not on. Some people, when she has hygiene, that makes no sense. Having to use a condom is one. Oh, that's a controversial ick. That's a controversial ick. I know what you're talking about. Someone else put false advertising in leggings. I've been there back in the day. Been there. What are you thinking?
I've got a legging ick. Okay. Baggy leggings, big man, are the biggest ick I've ever experienced. Baggy leggings? Yeah, it's not cute. Do you remember Jeggings?
jeggings were the worst thing that were ever created yeah worst thing ever created i remember jeggings oh they used to run amok in my school back in day bro bro bro speaking of legging stroke jegging ics do you remember ah do you remember yeah the the girl this was an ick for me you know like the female school trousers yeah the tight ones yeah yeah
when they were stretch out and the glue used to separate out of the seam in the body. Yeah. Yeah. That gave me massive ick. The glue strands used to be, it just looked like fibers. Yeah. Just spraying out the back. Yeah, I know what you mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what ick. It used to give me mad ick. Ah, I know what you mean. I know what you mean. Those mercury in retrograde girls blaming crystals on their bad vibes. Yeah.
Mercury and retrograde. Oh, that's jokes. That made my eye hurt. Blaming crystals on their bad vibes. That's funny. That's funny. That is hilarious. Them, you can't handle me girls. Oh, yeah. Non-toxic girls. Man likes a toxic bitch. Fair play. Once someone put, when they catch me cheating. Yeah.
Nah, that's sour Fam When girls get makeup on your hoodie or top That for me It's an issue It's an issue, it's an issue, it's an issue That for me is an issue It is an issue Like when you're hugging a chick and you just get the makeup here On your breast or your shoulder Pisses me off Pisses me off I don't know if I call it an ick But it pisses me the fuck off It pisses me off
It pisses me the fuck off. I just want to grab her. I want to touch her foot like this and dash it. I just want to fucking dash it. Fucking hug me again. Yeah. Oh, girls with shit tan on their hands. Oh my days, bro. Their hands are like the ankle area here. Bro, their hands, their ankle area under the nails. Yeah. Icky now. That is an ick. Icky now. That is a fucking ick, bro. Anyway.
Girls with nasty feet. He said he doesn't like feet, but girls with nasty feet in general. When girls just use man for their car as if the sun shines at their ass. Bitter. Bitter as well. But girls do do that. When she's Thai and has a bigger dick than you. Wow. Jesus. That little moustache, I pretend not to notice. Nah. Nah. Dread.
man sent for it dread oh wow that's actually dread oh wow oh when she wants to finger me that's that's a lot yeah the one that you say girls that look like they smell like ham that's it someone put girls farting in general oh yeah that would make me hook and i oop like man you're trying to catch this hook that's something i hate when people say and i oop
When they expect you to pay for everything, I want to be living top tier. Hairy females. Where are they getting this shit from? Where are you meeting these women? I don't know. Where are you meeting these women? Screeching when they see their friends they haven't seen in a long time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Girls whose breaths stink. No aspirations or ambitions. Shoreditch bitch. Yep. Fuck. Sainsbury's, you know.
Oh, when a girl asks or says if she's prettier than her, than your ex or than my ex, for example. Who says that? That's a teenage thing. It is a teenage thing for sure. That's a teenage thing. For sure, for sure, for sure. Who would ask that? Am I prettier than your ex? Shut up, fam. You are my ex. That's what I was saying. You are my ex.
It's the dash for me. Makes me want to be celibate. It's the whatever for me. Big man. Did we not say that last time? Have we said that before or no? I can't. I don't know. Did I just read that on there? It was on the thing that I put on. Yeah. It's the da da da for me. I fucking hate that, bro. Top three. I fucking hate that, bro. Top three. Top three. Top three. Top three. Top three. Oh, yeah. Top three. Oh, my days. Uh.
This is one I put up as well on the day. When her titties don't bounce when she's on top. That sweetened me. That's harsh. That's harsh, but it sweetened me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Harsh, but sweetened me. All right, cool. Let me do the women. All right, women. They're going to send for us. I know they are. They always do. They always do. Women hit mad specific. Yeah, they cut. It's cutthroat when it comes to the women's sex. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's no game. When they come and don't bother making us come, then coddles like nothing happened.
Poo attached in a man's bum hair. And they wipe the ass properly. And they don't wipe the ass properly. Saw that. Saw that. Saw that. And creased. Poo in their bum hair? Yeah, that's it. Fanmanscape.com. SNG. 20% off. Free shipping worldwide. There you go, bro. Snip, snip that. There you go, bro. No yak can tell me I've got shit in my ass. No yak can tell me I've got shit in my ass. I'll kill myself. I'll kill myself if you have. You got snap.
I hate, that's what I guess when you got Snap. I fucking hate Snapchat. Sorry, just to bring it back. I've just had one that is an ick for me. I think we spoke about it on here before. When they stop contributing to the 69. Don't know if you've had that on here. When they stop contributing to the 69 because they want to nut. Yeah. Nut! Suck me off in it! Yeah!
it's a 69 for a reason damn it's one of these ones for a reason bear moaning suck me up ah that is jokes that is jokes uh children with their mouth open one in one that's kind of yucky that is yucky this is a big one for me i think i put top three on this when girls walk around um barefoot at the end of the night that is that for me wait i thought we're doing the girls ones
Fucking hell, yeah, we are. But this is what annoyed me on the day. Okay. When I put girls only, anyone was contributing. And I wasn't replying to the mandate. Yeah, they got carried away. Obviously, because I've saved all of them. I just completely forgot. They got carried away. Oh, that drives me insane. Yeah. I'm a specifically said... Understand the assignment, innit? Exactly. Know your assignment, man. When he takes pictures using famous tourist attractions as his dick, that's very specific. So I'm assuming, for example...
When he takes famous, when he takes pictures using famous tourist attractions as his dick. I'm assuming, for example, like the Eiffel Tower and he will say, oh, this is the size of his dick. I don't know. I don't know. Because that's very specific. So she's obviously talking about something crazy specific. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When he says, I thought you were younger. You look 16. Why are you asking for a man's snap? What? Motorbike thieves? Oh no, that's a guy. A guy wrote that. Fucking hell. You guys don't understand your assignment. Ooh, double texting if you're not my man. Oh!
that's um that's a good one i like that one i like that one double texting if you're not my man i like that one i like that in my younger years i found myself double texting and as soon as you see it that blue blue you're like what have i done what have i done it looks hideous yeah it literally looks hideous it's not a good look it's not a good look um
When his moans sound like a 12 year old girl getting punched on the upper arm. Instant dessert. Oh, wow. Oh, that's funny. When he immediately likes everything I say, like he has no personality or opinion. That's a very good one. Yeah, that's a good one. That's valid. That's a very good one. That's fucking valid. That's a very, very good one. Full mirror selfie nudes or nudes with his face in it. Understandable. Nudes with his face in it. That's such a preach, you know. I hear you. Nudes with his face in it.
desperately begging me to tell him he's good during it even that made me say like nah you need your ego is off my dude yeah yeah yeah your ego is off this is one for me male or female being rude to servers says a lot about someone if they're not polite to everyone that for me is a huge ick disgraceful oh that drives me insane yeah yeah yeah disgraceful that drives me insane disgraceful that drives me insane I'm gonna try and find a good one
When he's trying to pick something up, but it blows slash rolls away. Oh, this is what I mean, bro. When girls go for the throat. Yeah, they slice it open. That's not fair. That's not fair. It's not our fault. Fam, I can see it. Look at a piece of paper and you're going to get it and it blows away. Nah. And she looks at it and says, yeah, yeah. I remember reading one. This is a while back where it says...
You know when you go on trains and the train stops and you jolt? They said, if you're jolting, you're not my man. You're not my man. You're not my man. That's not fair, fam. That's not fair, brother. That's not fair. That's how I used to feel when I was younger. I would get on the bus and you know when the bus starts moving? It kind of peels back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you'll walk, say if you're walking to the upstairs and you see the man and the gal is sitting there and the bus takes off and you have to reach to grab something.
I used to think as soon as I had to reach out in my head, I was like, it's over. It's over. I'm going back downstairs. I have to go back downstairs. It's over. You're not getting lips tonight. Nowhere near you're getting lips tonight. When they say you remind them of their mum, specific boy. Have you ever said that to a girl? You remind me of my mum? Nah, I don't think so. I know I haven't said that. That is... I would... I've said to women...
Like you're such a mum in terms of what they act and how they behave and stuff. I would never say you remind me of my mum. That's, yeah, that's a lot. Guys just staring at me makes me angry. I mean, it depends on how they're staring at you. It does. When he seemingly skips his hands and ankles when applying body lotion. Wow. I think I saw that one. I think I saw that one.
Imagine just walking around with actually had your cream to the gills, hands and feet and ankles are ash. Oh, that's embarrassing. Have you seen that? Speaking of there's this interviewer, right? He interviews NBA players. Okay. Some Mexican guy. Oh, definitely not. And he always asks and LeBron James was ducking him for years. Okay. And he always asks, do you wash your legs in the shower?
That's we ask everyone. Okay. Do you wash your legs in the shower? Okay. Because I'm going to come out and say it. I barely wash my legs in the shower. I wash my legs. What do you mean? Like actual, like soap and water. Like get in the, like, okay. So when I'm in the shower, I do face. I've got a specific face cleanser. Yeah. Same face. Yeah. Rinse it out. Yeah. Then I get my body wash. Yeah. I do arm, arm, pits, pit, torso, body, body.
And like quads. Yeah. I don't lift up my leg to do this. I just don't. Okay. I just don't. Okay. So when, when, when he asked LeBron James, yeah. Do you, oh, and balls. Okay. Cock and balls. Yeah. When he asked LeBron James, oh, do you wash your legs in the shower? It sweetened me, fam. It sweetened me. Why? Because he tried. Because I don't.
And I was like, you want to say yes, but you're like, I bet if I don't do it, and this Donnie's asking if LeBron James does it, I'm thinking, I bet hardly anyone does it. I do. But use a glove, don't you? I've seen in your show, use a glove, use exfoliating glove. That makes sense. I don't. I just use my hands. So yeah, I'm interested in the comments. Man them. Own up. Own up. Send an emoji if you have to. Yeah.
Do you mind washing your lower leg? I'm not bringing up my knee in the shower like a yap. I'm not bringing up my knee in the shower. I'm not bending over to my top. I put my leg on the ting. I put my leg on the ting like this. Nah, fam. Nah, I'm not raising my leg and bending my back in the shower. That's jokes. Like a top.
Every time you use the word tart, it sweets me, bro. You have no idea. Sweets me. Oh, wow. Like a tart. This one sweetened me as well. When he's got some orange left in the corner of his mouth after eating bolognese. I've seen that. Random. That's a white guy thing. In terms of? I've only ever seen it in white guys. Oh, really? Yeah.
I don't think I've ever seen that period. Have you not? I don't think so, bro. I've seen it. I don't think so, bro. I've seen it. When they suck the spaghetti. Yeah. Yeah, if I'm bare bolognese sauce in the mic corner. It's butters. That's hilarious. Oh, my days. When you're giving him a blowjob and he smells of shit. Someone's put that before. I've seen that before a while ago. What is that? This correlates to the shit in the bum hair thing as well.
When you're giving him a blowjob and he smells like shit. Personal hygiene is a... Oh dear, imagine. She must have wanted to knock him out. Just in his torso. Fam, she must have wanted to knock him out. In his fucking chest. Imagine eating a girl out and you can smell physical human shit. I would be so angry. So would I. I'd be so fucking angry. So would I, so would I, so would I. When he moans louder than me.
i've seen that but like what what i don't know because how are you moan i i don't moan i don't moan so i don't know i don't know maybe some some guys moan men in flip-flops jokes want to see the white crap in the corner of the mouth when they're talking or just like dry mouth yeah dry mouth corner is that it yeah there's loads but that's all right cool yeah oh man apparently there's bad things that give people ick
There are. I'm still scrolling. There's loads I've not said. There's... So, there's one that no... I don't think any guy has ever said, but it has to be an ick. Because I refuse to be seen in this situation. A man naked...
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