Ep 109 - Rich Dad Poor Dad, Nigerian Dad
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It's easy to be a superhero. You don't need a cape or x-ray vision. You just need to sign up for PowerSaver Rewards. That way, when you save energy during a flex alert, you get a credit back on your energy bill. Visit PowerSaverRewards.org and become a Super Power Saber! Please. I'll be crying. I'll be begging my mom. Please. Let's go. Oh, my days. Mommy, that's when you use that. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy, please. You probably know this because you know about alcohol, but I never knew this. Okay.

Apparently, so obviously you know tequila. Not apparently, but my brother told me that in Mexico they don't really fuck with tequila like that. Okay. Because, it's not that they don't fuck with tequila, but they don't like the hype that tequila has. Okay. Because I never knew this, tequila obviously comes from agave. Yeah. And tequila is just agave that grows in the tequila region of Mexico. So there are other agave-based liquors that...

They're exactly like tequila, but they're not called tequila. They're called other shit from wherever they're from. Did not know that. And one of them's actually called flipping my brother told me because it's a Spada. That brings a bell, but I don't know what that is. From bleach, my G.

oh the espada yeah i was thinking why do i know that name the espada is a region um it's a region in mexico fucking hell crimjo just chilling um it's a region in mexico okay and they have their own agave and they grow their make their own fucking tequila and it's called a spada no way my brother's got a bottle at home and i was like so that's just tequila but from a spider's yeah i was like bro i don't understand what you're telling me here

So in Mexico, they don't care about tequila. It doesn't matter to them. Because everything is tequila, but it's just for something else because of a different region of where it's made. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

mad i never knew that it's mad isn't it i never knew that it's interesting that is very interesting espada them man are pissed though because tequila is worldwide tequila is the ting the ting i never knew that yeah and it can't be called a tequila unless it's from the agave that grows in the tequila region does it's not any better than any other same with champagne i was just thinking that same with champagne champagne and this is from champagne you can't call it champagne champagne i'll call it one

i call it physical yeah prosecco whatever that's crazy i never knew that yeah i honestly never knew that yeah bro actually i was so intrigued when he told me that i was thinking fuck i had no idea um and also this is cool as well this is this goes as a testament to like um like how japanese people don't fuck around when it comes to like not honor but just their pride in their shit in their craft so um one guy that i just i

Fire on the Kid, Brendan from Fire on the Kid, he's doing his own whiskey. Okay. And it's like 50% bourbon mixed with 50% Japanese. Okay. And that's his whiskey. Okay. And yeah, 50% bourbon, 50% Japanese. But the Japanese whiskey makers, like the distillery that he uses, they wouldn't let him have...

anything that hadn't been aged for 10 years okay in these like specific barrels um and obviously he was just like now i've come like it's cool i just want the japanese whiskey it tastes fine and they were like big man you're not having it unless it's been aged for 10 years i'm telling you that now so if we're low on stock because we're still aging then that's just your business oh man you're not going around there calling it japanese whiskey if unless it's been aged for 10 years

I love that. I love that. I heard that. I was thinking gang. Yeah, man. Gang. These Japanese bros don't fuck around. They got pride in their work fam. Not nine and a half years. Ten. Ten minimum. So yeah, I was gassed when I heard that. I was thinking that's sick. Okay. I've never had Japanese whiskey. I have. It's closer to Scotch, I think, than

than the other types? I couldn't tell you. I think. I couldn't tell you. I listened to a whole podcast one time about different whiskeys and, um, like the media. So did you know, I think I might have told you this before, like the E. So you know how some people spell whiskey without the E, E-Y, and some people spell it with just Y. Um,

apparently if the england if if the england if the fucking country that the whiskey comes from has an e in the name of that country then it's spelled ey if it doesn't have an e in it it's it's not spelled that way no way yeah i never knew that so america spells it ey um irish whiskey spells it why why scotch spells it why i think no way

Japan must spell it Y. Yeah, I think that's what it is. It's the E in the name of the country. Bonkers. Yeah, it doesn't make sense, does it? I mean, it makes sense. Not necessarily makes sense now, but I can understand it better. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's wild. That is wild. And then you never think about, obviously you should think about it, but like I said with the tequila thing, sometimes you don't even think about it like Kentucky bourbon. That has to come from Kentucky. Mm-hmm.

And you're like, bro, Kentucky's some small poxy little fucking state. They take pride in their shit, bro. They all take pride in their shit. Kentucky bourbon is, I think it's one of the biggest wholesalers in America in terms of bourbon, period. Yeah, it must be. Bro, they don't fuck about. They don't fuck about when it comes to, like you said, with the Japan thing and all that. They take pride in their stuff.

That's wild, man. It is. It's interesting. I liked it. Yeah, I don't know what... I was on holiday when I listened to that podcast. A whole podcast about whiskey. I don't even like whiskey that much. I do like it, but I found the whole thing interesting. When you tap into something that you have on a regular basis, like whiskey, for example, you have it once every couple of weeks or whatever, and you start finding out more and more shit about a specific subject, you think...

Damn. It makes you appreciate it much more. It makes you appreciate it much more. And he's thinking, oh my day. So this is why this is this. And this is why this is that. And it's just like, okay, I've learned something today. Yeah. That's the thing. Like, um, like I'm desperate to try this Espada thing now. I'm desperate to try it. Where did you get it from your brother? Um, I think he might have bought it back from Mexico when he went to, he went traveling around there. Yeah. Yeah. I think he actually might have bought it back from there. Because I've not seen anything like that in ends, like in England, Mani, Perio, whatever.

It's a whole, it's a cover up. It's satin. No one knows about it. Espada. Nah, man. Tequila as a region must be... They're caked. They're caked because if anyone from a different country, ain't no one, like even, there's a dreading. So like, say if we want to start our own tequila company, like we're not going to be the ones...

who live outside Mexico to try and convince everyone that it's the same shit as tequila. We're not going to do that. We're going to go to tequila and be like, big man, we need your ting in here. Just pat on us. Yeah, I can't be bothered with this part of the ting. These men don't get it. It's too hard to sell. Let's just get tequila. Yeah, exactly. And they know that's the ting. I fuck, I never knew that, bro.

I don't know, but I don't know what the drink is called. Obviously, you've got tequila, you've got Espada, you've got whatever other regions they've got. What's the drink called? I know what you mean. What's the drink called? It's tequila. When you fucking ferment agave, what's it called? I need to know. Tequila what? What is it? It just says tequila on it. Let me fucking find it. Have we got a tequila bottle in here? We've got a tequila bottle in here. What's it say on there? Tequila, 100% from agave. That's all it says? Yeah. It doesn't say what it's actually called. It's just an agave drink. Um...

Patron Siva tequila is crafted from the highest quality, 100% Weber blue agave, which is carefully harvested, closely trimmed and slowly steam baked in small brick ovens. The cooked agave is then crushed, fermented and twice distilled in a small batch using the time-honoured Tohona process and one of the more modern roll-and-meal methods to create Patron's silver smooth taste. But that means nothing to me. So it's just, like I said, fermented agave.

I can't believe what the drink is called. Fermented distilled agave. All Patron tequilas are distilled and bottled at Hacienda Patron in the highlands of, I'm assuming it's called Jalisco, but it's got a J at the front. So I'm assuming it's Jalisco, Mexico. Yeah, it doesn't say what it's actually called. Fair play. But on that note. On that note, let's do one. That was a good one. I'm actually happy about that. I always get a bit nervous. Yeah, man. That was a good one. That was a good one. My teeth are gleaming now.

Fun fact of the day today, guys. So for those that aren't interested in football, I'm going to give you a little background. You obviously know who Lionel Messi is. Lionel Messi is one of, if not one of the greatest footballers of all time. That's alive right now. And he was at Barcelona all his life. And he currently, or more recently rather, went from Barcelona to PSG. And this was a big deal for the footballing world because he's always been at Barcelona. And Barcelona wanted him to stay.

He wanted to stay, but the fees and blah, blah, blah. He's worth a lot. They couldn't afford it. They couldn't afford it, basically. Long story short. So I think his final press conference or like a quote unquote, like exit interview from Barcelona. He was he was crying and there was a tissue that he was using. Apparently, this tissue is now on auction for a million dollars now.

Because they said that they want to try and make, who never know, potentially use the genes or whatever from that tissue to try and fucking, what's the word, create an artificial Lionel Messi in the future. It's so, it's West, bro. Some people have too much money. Too much money, too much time and too many ambitions. Fam, who's got the time to sit there and think, that's a good idea. Let me buy this for a million. A million. A million.

A million. It's on auction for a million dollars. That's ridiculous. God knows where this tissue is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What evidence do they have that they must have filmed... He must have filmed...

putting it in the bin or something like that, feeling himself picking it up and taking it. You need evidence. Evidence. Evidence. Bro, that's mad. That's a good point that you brought up the football thing though. Because obviously, as you know, I wanted to speak because we never talk about football on here. Yeah. And you ride or die football. And I haven't watched football since I was like, big,

big man ting 16 oh mad properly yeah yeah yeah properly obviously i watch my new games sometimes ad hoc mainly when i'm either with you or with like other friends and stuff but um i haven't known any i've intentionally stayed

As far away from football as I could. So you can explain some shit to me. Okay. And we can keep this going. Okay. All right. Talk to me. So I know nothing about Donnie. This is interesting because I know nothing about my man. Just like how you know. No, no, no, no, no. Just how like, you know, sometimes nothing about certain basketball players and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know nothing about Grealish.

Okay. Nothing. Okay. And then obviously this deal is the talk of the town. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Talk me through the whole thing. So I can only know, I'm going to, I can't even, I'm only going to go off what like, obviously I know. I don't follow Grealish that much, but he was basically, he's been at Aston Villa his whole life. I think he was there since he was like 15. Every time I watch Jack Grealish, I always say he's got the hardest working calves in England. Have you seen his calves? Castle Wham. Jack Grealish's calves, hardest working calves in England.

Bro, his calves are massive. They are, they are. He's been at Aston Villa his whole life. He's been the talisman throughout the whole, what, these last few years or whatever. But he was being injured, blah, blah, blah. And then he went to the Euros. He didn't, I don't think he started one game at the Euros, but every time he came on,

the world went mad for him. Yats love him. Gang. Mandem love him. Like he's, he's just a talk of the town. Yeah. It's like a young baby Beckham. Exactly. Yeah. I wouldn't say he's a young baby Beckham. Let me not, let me not go that far because Beckham is on a different level. Beckham was and still is on a different level. So let me not compare the two because they don't play the same position, any of that. But,

Jack Grealish is, I don't know why, but he's the pride of England at the moment. Okay, cool. Granted, he didn't score anything in the Euros, but people just love his energy and love his aura and love what he's about, about football, purely because he was very dedicated to his club. He was there for, I don't know, my 10, 12 years at Aston Villa. He was there since he was a kid.

And then obviously the Euros happened. He had a few good games and stuff, even though he didn't score. And then he got the, he's the highest chance. He's got the highest transfer fee in UK football. I believe it was a hundred million from Aston Villa to Manchester City.

And funny enough, I saw him. He came into my spot, I think the week before their first game. Okay. The whole team. So I saw them. It was cool. It was chill. He had to do some fucking ritual initiation type thing. It was jokes. It was jokes. Then I think he came on. Their first game was an away game. They played Tottenham and they lost. I think he was a sub. I don't know if he started, but they played the first home game.

this weekend, just gone, or last weekend. He scored. He scored the second goal, but it was one of... It wasn't like he did a mad ting and then scored a massive curler sign. It was more of the ball just hit him and he went into the net. But it was his home debut. He scored a goal. They won the game 5-0. It was a good feeling for him. But Jack Grealish, he is...

When he gets the ball, you just know something's going to come from it. You feel comfortable. You feel comfortable when he's got the ball. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, he's going to attract people towards him that will free up the space for other people. Okay, so he will either pass the ball to you or he will get the foul to create the free kick. Yeah, inevitably score a goal. You know, so that's the reason why

I say one, he's the hardest, he's got the hardest working cast in England because it also, for two or three seasons running, he was the most fouled player every season. Yeah. And this was obviously whilst he was at Aston Villa. So people know his potential. That's why so many people are drawn towards him. That's why, that's the reason why he creates so much because two or three people are going to be drawn towards him or looking at him and then it just frees up all the other man and that's it.

That's the reason why he's a great guy. 100 million, I feel like it's a lot. Don't get me wrong. 100 M's? When that transfer went down, Aston Villa were guests. Obviously, no team has received 100 million in England before because that was the highest transaction fee.

but for a team like aston villa you know yeah if it was like united or united somewhere in the top you know you're not into chelsea or something like that or they they can still do a good with that whereas aston villa getting 100 mil

from Man City for one guy? Yeah. Gang. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take him. Take him. Take him. That's a new stadium talk. Exactly. That is new stadium talk. You can do so much with 100 M's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100 M's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's too much money in football. That's too much money for one Don. New stadium talk. Nah. Too much money. That's too much money in football, bro. So yeah, man. It was a big deal for him. I feel like it's a great move for him purely because he's never won. To my knowledge, I don't know. He's never won a trophy.

He could have won like an FA or something. I don't know, like back in the day, I'm not too sure. But he's obviously never won the Premier League. He's never been part of the Champions League or Europe, like all those kinds of things. So this move for him is fantastic. That's heavy. That's fantastic. That's heavy. I like that. Especially because he is the pride and joy of England at the moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For these past few months, like him, Raheem Sterling and all them, man. Pride and joy of England at the moment. So I'm very happy for him, even though he plays for the Op. That's good. I'm a United fan. He plays for City. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But sometimes in football, you just got to appreciate what you got to appreciate, you know? That's why I love football. That's live, man. I like shit like that. It's cool, man. I like shit like that. I like shit like that. There's some, not similar, but like there's a few, there's a bit of basketball news going on at the minute. Like in terms of, there's two situations, like in terms of the pride and in terms of like the money and stuff like that. So it's the opposite things happened in the NBA. Do you know about Dennis Schroeder? Dennis? Schroeder. No. Cool.

So my man is, he is, where's he from? I think he's a German national. Okay. Plays in the NBA, plays for the Lakers. Okay. This is his first season starting, I believe. So first season starting, just gone. Season just gone, his first season starting. Did okay. Lakers wanted to keep him. Mm-hmm.

They offered. So basically just understand he's any man. He's any guy. He's not even like in the first five. He's just started this year is the first year he's ever been in the first five. But he's been on the Laker roster. He's been, he's been playing the game. Let's just say that. Let's just say he's been playing the game. It's the first year he's ever been starting five. Right? Wow. Um, Lakers were happy to keep him for another year. Um, no, they were, they wanted him for a four year deal. They offered him 82 million across four years. Um,

And he's any guy. He's any guy. 82 million. 82 million. 20.05 a year. Yeah, 20 million a year they offered him. He said, nah, I'm going to try my luck as a free agent, basically. Okay. And yeah, try my luck as a free agent and see how the market cleans me up. He's got, obviously he's gassed. He had an okay season and he's gassed. Fam? Talk to me, fam. What went wrong? It didn't go well.

No one gave a fuck about him. Now he's signed with the, I've already forgotten. I think it's the Celtics somewhere fucking cold. I know that. Yeah. I think he's gone to the Celtics and they offered him a one year deal for 8 million. I think.

Obviously in context of basketball, that's not a lot of money, but for the average Joe. For the average Joe, 8 mil ain't bad. Just a bit of context, guys. 8 mil ain't bad, but for the fact that you had a four-year contract and you were guaranteed 20 mil every year, so now you've got a one-year contract for eight. Man, that's a downsize. Bro, you have to move to cold-ass Boston out of lavish LA for less than half of what you were guaranteed in LA. Yeah.

And now it's a one. And that's the thing. The bad thing is a one year deal, one year deal. So they've paid you eight mil for one year for the fact that they've paid you eight mil Boston ain't no punk team either. So the fact that they paid you eight mil, they don't even care if you play or not. They've given you a busted contract for one year. You're not even going to get any court time. You're not going to get enough court time to get a better deal next year. You're fucked. You're fucked.

And this is your first year off the bench. And they promised you four lavish years. I was like, no, let me take my chances. Let me take my chances. I think I'm a bad bitch. So he said. So in the season just gone, he did well this year. He did okay this year. Yeah, not well. He did enough for the Lakers to think,

he's worth another four years and where was he before the lakers i can't remember to be that's what i'm saying he's any guy i don't follow his i've never followed his career but he's been at the lakers he's been at the lakers he's comfortable with the lakers um and then yeah this was his first proper season off the bench playing as a regular starter let me see if i recognize his face because obviously i watch basketball yeah he's any black brother i wouldn't be surprised if you didn't recognize his face what's his name dennis schroeder dennis schroeder the name does ring a bell sch yeah i got it yeah

It is. I think it is Boston. He's moved to. Yeah. Yeah. No, I know his face. I know his face. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I'd still be worried. Yeah, because it's just one year. One year, you've got to prove it now. Yeah. And you clearly, the season just gone, you clearly didn't prove it enough for anyone to want you. Yeah. So you know you need a much better season than the season you've just had with the Lakers and you're probably not even going to be starting in Boston. You are fucked. Good luck from now. That's all I'm saying. Good luck from now. Either get sixth man of the year and fucking smashes it and becomes the next James Harden or he's done. It's long for him.

That's tough, man. It is tough. It's dog eat dog. It is dog eat dog. Following up, I know we're talking a lot about sports, but obviously a few months ago there was this ESL, the European Super League.

Do you remember? Yes. That whole fiasco. I remember that drama. Yeah. Did you read it? I didn't look into the specifics. I had someone tell me like a brief overview. But yeah, like I understood it at the time. So just for context, what it was at the time was they wanted to make...

FIFA i.e the football association in the in across Europe the same thing like America in terms of basketball in their league so in the NBA no one gets promoted or demoted like you stay in the same league season in season out and that's what they want to do for football yeah across what five different countries so England Spain Italy France and I think Germany backed out I think it was somewhere else

But obviously United backed out, Chelsea backed out, City backed out. I think PSG backed out. There were so many teams that backed out, but I'm thinking why on earth, how does that promote any form of competition? They wanted the same teams to be playing the same quote unquote Champions League. Well, there wouldn't have been any Champions League because that's out of FIFA now. There wouldn't have been,

able to qualify for the world cup because that's part of fifa they wouldn't have been able to qualify for like there are so many things that were so wrong with it but it was more of a powerhouse hungry thing for the the bosses and the owners to just make more p yeah and

It made me wonder, it made me think like, why doesn't that happen in America in terms of just having a relegation system? Like if you're shit, big man, give the D-League, for example, the chance and the opportunity to fucking progress. If your team is the number one seed of the season in the D-League, surely you've earned the right to be in the NBA. It's true, man. It's true. You know? It is true. I think it's because, I think the reason is, is because...

Teams are so, there's so fewer players on an NBA court that typically if a team is doing well, it's like crushing it. So if someone, for example, was crushing it in the D league, it's because of one person, typically. And instead of promoting the whole team, they'll just take that person. That's what happened with, what's his face? We were talking about the other day, plays for the Bucs.

Giannis? No, not Giannis. His second guy. Begins with M. Middleton. Middleton. Yeah. He was in the D League. Okay. I think. Okay. I'm fairly certain he came up through the D League. I remember them talking about someone. It was either him or it was either Drew Holiday. It was one of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yes, continue. I do remember. I'm fairly certain he came up. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I watched a little...

little piece on him about just like never giving up on all this shit. So I'm pretty sure, I might be wrong, but I'm fairly certain he came up with the D-League. And yeah, so I think with basketball, that's the difference is that in football, it's very rare that you can just

pin success down to one person well you never can you can never if you've had a fucking unbelievable season obviously you get players that are like yeah but you can't ever say they were purely successful because of this person whereas in the nba in basketball even you can yeah 100 it happens all the time uh that's why people get taken here there and everywhere that's why they're trying to create super teams because now even if you've got two or three if you've got three all-stars

on one team all of a sudden now it's a super team yeah if you have that in football it's like you're still you're right yeah like you're decent yeah we expect you to have at least three yeah if you've got less than three superstars then who's for example psg now have messi mbappe killing mbappe and uh neymar yeah but apparently i think mbappe wants to leave because he doesn't want to play with messi or neymar one of them want to leave because they don't want to play with messi and the reason why messi used to play for barcelona when not sorry not messi sorry

Neymar used to play for Barcelona whilst Messi was at Barcelona. The reason why he left Barcelona was because he didn't want to be in Messi's shadow. But then when he went to PSG, he was in Mbappe's shadow because Mbappe is a fucking bore. He's a fucking bore. I think he's like 22. At the time, he was like 19. I think he's like 20, 21 now. Maybe, I'm not too sure. But now one of them want to leave. It's just all...

everyone wants to be the star man obviously you want to be the one bringing in the goals and bringing in the bacon of course it makes sense and that's why I believe like you said if you have three star men in a team you have to be doing the team so that's why I believe thoroughly this year that PSG will win the Champions League PSG will they've got no choice but to win the Champions League yeah yeah yeah first play Di Maria Angel Di Maria he's an Argentinian footballer he used to play for United that's the only reason why I ride for him because he used to play for United in like 2016 for like one season or two seasons before he moved to PSG

And the coach of, that's the fucking fattest spider I've ever seen in my entire life. Is it the same one as last time? Oh my God, you man. If you man can see the spider, Jesus, it's just hanging. That's the same one as last time. Same one as last time. It's got a family in there. That's the same one as last time. Fat batty dick. Fat batty spider.

What was I saying? Yeah, I ride for Di Maria because obviously, not obviously, but he used to play for United and anyone that used to play for United, I'm always like, yeah, man, you still, I still got connections. Yeah, I birthed you. Yeah, no matter what, you're still gang. But I hated him. We played, we played PSG. This was when Di Maria was at PSG and United played PSG in the Champions League, maybe a year and a half ago, two years ago, two seasons ago. We played them home and away. Yeah.

first leg we lost at united at old traffic we lost two nil d maria scored he grabbed the bottle like he scored in celebration was to grab they threw like beer bottles at him he grabbed the bottle he was about to drink it dashed it on the floor and he's like keep quiet keep quiet i was like you motherfucker you motherfucker i think two weeks later we went we went to theirs and we beat them 3-1 which was gang yeah yeah and i was like yes united blah blah but like i said

Back to what I was talking about. Anyway, I feel like PSG will win the Champions League this season because the team that they've got, bro. Solid. Solid, man. There's so many all-stars in that team. And they've also got on a free... Who did England play in the finals again? In Euros? Italy. Italy. So the goalkeeper, De Moromo, whatever his name is, he's at PSG now. Big boy. For free. For free.

They got Messi. They got Gino and Adam, who used to play for Liverpool. He's a strong, strong CDM. They got for free. They've now got...

Sergio Ramos used to be the captain of Real Madrid, PSG for free, and Di Marino, whatever his name is, the goalkeeper, big man. With Messi, with Mbappe, with Neymar, with Verratti, with, what's his name, Di Maria, they have to win the Champions League. I love this enthusiasm. I love it, I love it. I love football, bro.

But then I'm starting to think, is it a case of too many stars on one team and they're going to crumble? They can't mesh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They can't mesh. There has to be, everyone can't be the star, you know? But I don't know. We'll see. We will see. It's true. It's one of them ones. I feel like, from my limited knowledge, I feel like,

Messi is old enough to not get caught up in that bullshit. Yeah. Messi needs another trophy before he dips. Yeah. He's nearly done out. Yeah. I feel like obviously Neymar might be a little bit vexed. He's still a young buck. But I feel like, yeah, I feel like Messi's old. I hope anyway, old enough and mature enough to not fall into that bullshit of like, let me prove I'm the best player at the cost of this, this W. Like, big man, you want the ball, have the ball in it. You want the ball, have the ball, bruv.

I know what you mean. But it sounds live. It sounds super interesting. Bro, PhD. I know a lot of people aren't into football, but it's just so... People forget that when we watch football, yes, we watch for entertainment. And a lot of women don't like football. And a lot of guys don't like football as well. But people think that we watch football because... They start asking, why are you so interested in football? What's the point? Blah, blah. People forget that.

this is their job. Like regardless of our entertainment, yes, we watch it week in, week out, we get vexed and blah, blah, blah. Big man, this is their job. They have to perform week in, week out to secure a spot in the top 11. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're not starting big man, you're not doing something right. Unless you're injured, you're not doing something right. And did you know that

every feature, like every sub, if you start, you get a bonus. Obviously, if you score, you get a bonus. Everything is to do with P. I didn't, I had no idea. Everything's to do with P. If you're on the pitch, you get extra cake.

If you score, obviously you get extra cake. If you win trophies, obviously you get extra cake. I knew about the trophies and things, but I didn't know about the, if you start and if you get subbed in, you get extra. I only found out recently. That's wild. So if you're not in the starting 11, bro, it's tough. And a football team is consisted, depending on the team, consists of 24 to 26 players. Only 11 men can play.

And with a keeper, if you're the number one keeper, you're calm. Oh, you're solid. Your place is solidified. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why this De Marumo guy or whatever, he is, he's got the game on lock. Creme de la creme. He's got the game. He's like what, 6'6", 6'7"? He's 6'7". Fucking tall guy. But the keeper, PSG's keeper, I think his name is Keilo Navas. Yeah, Keilo Navas. He's a great goalkeeper. He's been their keeper for God knows how long. So I'm a bit skeptical as to how that's going to play out. Purely because he's been doing great for them.

but my man is he's a goalkeeper he's a goalkeeper and it doesn't for a keeper it don't matter whose team you're on fam if you keep well save the ball we're yours fam you know it doesn't mean you don't need to mesh with anyone it doesn't save the fucking ball that's all you need to do you got one fucking job do it yeah that's i like that i like that passion my mind spirals sometimes when i think about football that's gang also again football do you not think it's crazy or any sport it doesn't have to be football

do you not think it's crazy that because we watch sport week in week out kind of thing we just watch it as entertainment value whatever or we watch our team as entertainment value but let's say for example I play for United you play for City no let me not say City because I'm more times probably going to face you more than once or more than twice let's say I play for United and you play for Southampton for example

Southampton aren't likely going to get into any cup competitions. They're only going to be in the regular degular season. So let's say, for example, I've come to your yard and smacked you up 4-0.

You have to wait seven months to beat me again. Yeah. You know? It's long. So that's in your head for time and you want to get revenge. You want to do all of these things, but we're watching it week in, week out as football. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whereas you as a player. It's personal for me. You as a player, it's personal. You've got to wait months to come and meet me again. And then these men were chatting shit in my ear as well. Bro. They were chatting shit in my ear. Bro. When the corner was coming and we were just all shoulders. Bro.

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I remember when we were in school, do you remember obviously playing like, when you're in school, you play either football, I didn't play football in school, I played basketball, but you would only ever play in the local league with the other schools, we would only ever play one, through the season, one school, one time.

Okay. So we play every school in like our town. Yeah. And then there will be some like local tournaments and stuff like that. And you might play some of them again. But there was at least one player on every school team that you had to be wary of.

And it just created so much... You didn't want to... Because if you lose to him, you ain't playing again until next year. Yeah. You weren't playing again until next year, bro. It used to piss me off. So I remember... So this is mad. I actually remember this. So we had... This is wild as well. So we had obviously my team. And then we had...

another team called hatton so they were called uh the name of the school is like christopher hatton anyway i don't know who the fuck that is but anyway um they on their team they had these two twins called kane and lewis they weren't that big but they were fucking tall then they had my boy jason on there so hatton was the tall team hatton was the fucking tall team because all three of them motherfuckers were tall as hell and my team was short we are one of the shortest teams it's

So we had Hatton, which were, they were ballers because they had them three. The rest of the team couldn't name a single other player on their team. Them three were running and gunning. So I knew it was hard. When we played them, I was stressed. But I was stressed when we played everyone. Then we had another team called Wren, who were like our closest school in terms of like proximity and stuff like that.

They weren't... Okay, cool. So they weren't... They had one guy called Richard, tall as fuck, played... He was a baller as well. Tall, white, baller. He had the fundamentals down to a T. Fundamentals. He wasn't about showboating. He had the fundamentals, bro. So they had him. The rest of the team was kind of trash, but the thing with their team, Ren, they're a rugby school. Okay. And they're...

They're just militant. Yeah. Like it didn't matter that they didn't, they couldn't play ball, basketball. They just were just so dedicated to winning this game that they were willing to do their best. And they knew Richard was there. I call him Higgins. This is everyone called it Higgins.

Higgins was their top don. So they had to run him. As soon as they're running the ball, it's long for everyone. So I remember we had to face off against him. So every time we faced Hatton, I knew we had the three big boys that we had to worry about. It's kind of like Haikyuu. Fam? Yeah. Fam, I was literally thinking, you man were, you man were like, you're not a real man from Haikyuu. Fam, fam. Fam, literally thinking about Haikyuu. So this is the thing. Jesus. You go through all these schools, but you never think about yourself. Yeah, yeah. So you go through, in Hatton, we had the three big ballers. They were stressful to deal with.

But they were kind of team, if you could get them frustrated, they would fuck up because they're showboaters. Yeah. They want a pussy in fame. That's what them three men wanted, pussy in fame. So they wanted the dub in the flashiest way possible. Of course. So you could beat them. If you played them against their weakness, which was their showboating, you could beat them easily because they were selfish and they want pussy in fame. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they'll get frustrated. They'll get frustrated and they'll fuck up. That's how we used to be then. Mm.

Wren, militant players, but they only had Higgins. So basically, it didn't matter how militant they could be, you could outscore them. They were the kind of team that if you were going to go coast to coast, like one for one, one for one, one for one, we had more good players than they did. So we would beat them if we're willing to go back up, back up. As soon as Higgins is off the courts, we're going up by 15. Yeah, yeah.

as soon as he takes a break if they start with Moff as soon as he gets a break we're going up by 10 15 straight off the bat because the rest of the team was trash as soon as he comes back in it's game time so that him big tall guy really good player fundamentals would never fuck up ever then we had another team called Wollaston now Wollaston they were a short team like us but their point guard

Was a guy called Johnny Yates. Baller. In school? Baller. Baller. White guy. Baller. Handles and could shoot. His dad was a coach. Okay. They would have him and his little brother both been fucking ballers. Okay. His little brother came to our school and he was like four years younger than us. He was playing like three teams, three years older than he was playing for the teams like his year, the year above and the year above that. No way.

He was a baller. Both of them ballers, bro. Every time we went to Wollaston, you knew it was long. Because Johnny's going to have you up, bro. And he will snap your ankles if you ever give him the chance. Stress. But you knew it was a fun game. Because as good as he was, he's not tall. So you can lock him down if you need to. How tall was he roughly? He was like... School, so obviously we were shorter. But now he's probably like my height or a bit shorter. Okay. So...

In school, he was just a normal height guy. Not short, but he was a normal height guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably in school... Yeah, in school, he was probably a little bit shorter than me. But he was a hooper. He could hoop. Bro, you didn't want to guard him. Yeah. But I wanted to guard him. Yeah. Because I was thinking, I'm taking down Johnny today. You like the competition. Yeah, but it was... That was our favourite games to play against them, man. Nice. Because...

I knew it was just... It was like... Me and my boy John would always argue. Like, who's taking Johnny? Who's taking Johnny? And then I'll be like, bro, if I fucking defend Johnny, I don't care. I don't care. I want that victory. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So...

we're playing against Johnny and that was the most fun team because their guys were okay he was the big boy but they had no tall guys on their team until year 10 but I'll get back onto that okay no year 11 year 11 yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

But yeah, it was us versus them. And sometimes we would beat them. We were very evenly matched, but he was their guy. He was their guy. He could do anything, but he just wasn't tall. If he was tall, he would have been like a much better version of Higgins. And it would have been impossible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We would never be able to lock him down. But yeah, that was fun. And then the rest of the teams were just shit.

Like no offense to them, but we had another team called Rons, another team called High and Fairers, another team called something, something. They're all shit. But those three teams, they were the ones. So they were like the seed and you were like just underneath them as a team. So that's what I thought, but it actually was never like that. So I remember basically, I never thought this one. So you never think about yourself. I never thought about that.

And then Johnny From Wollaston Coincidentally lived Down the road from me And I never knew that Well he lived like Two streets away from me And I never knew that And one day I was walking to the The court By myself Just balancing my ball And I walked past his house And he was outside Playing a hoop And I was like Swear You live here Because Wollaston's like Far

and I was like oh you live here he's like yeah I live here and stuff like that so we started playing and then we started talking and basically we had the same discussion that me and you're having right now like oh when you play hat and you got this and that and he's like yeah yeah yeah and then he said like and when we play you you've got you and John and I was like oh what do you mean and he's like yeah like when we play like my school was called Weavers isn't it when you play Weavers you've got James and John James and John like James and John that's like

That's what you have to stress about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you were playing Weavers, you know, we were on the bus. He's like, all right, James and John, you got to watch out. Because me and him used to play. We didn't give a fuck about the rest of the team. Me and him were so competitive, but like in a good way. So you know what I said about the Messi and Neymar thing? If they can get mature enough, big body.

But if they're vexed about who's the best, then it'll never work. But me and him were like, I was so competitive. I liked to intentionally pretend like I thought I was shitter than him. Okay. Because I remember we used to train and then every year our coach would award us like either MVP or MIP, most improved. And he'd give us jerseys. Mm-hmm.

And two years in a row, he got MVP and I got MIP. But secretly, I liked it. I used to pretend like I was vexed, but secretly I liked it because I'm thinking, I'm getting better, big man. And the next year, I'm going to smack you up. So me and him played against each other because you could tell he wanted that glory. I didn't really care about being the best. Yeah.

If anything I didn't want that pressure Yeah True If anything I didn't want that pressure I wanted to be the guy coming up True I wanted to be the guy Everyone's like Look the fuck out for him True Like he's the He's the MVP That's the position you want to be in But you want to be the The underdog The underdog That everyone's like This guy I can't stop him But like This is the main guy But they've also got this guy as well So me and him Me and Jon Jon used to play Fam Play

passing everything just it was live it was like the fast breaks yeah it was long yeah it was long so when i say you thought we were in the like kind of lower seed and stuff like that it was actually kind of all even okay everyone would win some everyone would lose some of course um but it's weird that i never once thought that me and him were like those guys so just like in high q where like they're stressed about the big boys on every other team

But the other teams are secretly stressed about these, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. FYI, guys, sorry to cut you off. Haikyuu, for those that don't know, is an anime about volleyball, just to give you clarification. Bro, yeah. Jump on Haikyuu, it's live. So many people hate sport anime. I was one of them. Live. I was one of them. But tonight, jump on Haikyuu. But that's the thing. So yeah, we were those guys, the guys that thought that everyone else was so much better than us, but...

when they were coming to play us we never knew that they were whispering like big man when we get there they got james and john you need to do something about them because if one of them gets free it's long yeah yeah yeah so you need to lock them both down we used to hoop gang hoop it was so much fun back then it was so much fun back then if you had so much fun back then fuck i miss it i know you do bro fuck i miss it i know i miss it so much i was thinking oh i just want to play ball i just miss it um but anyway

Sorry to cut you off again. You said you were going to go back to year 11. Quincey. Quincey. He got traded. So Wollaston picked up. They had a new starter. I don't know if he always went to that school and never played. Or he just had a massive growth slot. This nigga was 6'10". 6'10". I've never seen anyone that high. Tallest guy I've ever seen in person. 6'10".

as I've seen a 6'7 yeah well huge Quincy was huge so they put him on Johnny's he went to Johnny's school so they I think just for year 11 he played for Wollaston 6'10 yeah bro you couldn't do anything he used to just dunk it barely jump of course he used to just go to that and it was in

well there's nothing we could do but then we played a tournament one time and i twangled him he dunked on me in it this is a separate tournament this is a six form tournament okay so he went to their six form i went to my school six form so for fun we would just play we used to play we both used to play for county anyway and we're playing the same team and stuff and um

we'd see each other a lot. We were friends. So we see each other a lot, but we never used to play against each other until they had this local like six form tournament. Whereas like our six form versus loads of other six forms, but no six forms are serious borders. So I wasn't really worried about it. It was more for me. It was like fun. Like I didn't have John anymore. Cause he went college somewhere. He went to an art college, I think. Um,

I didn't have him anymore but for me it was just like it's whatever and it's just like a bit of fun yeah yeah yeah just to get some cardio in um so it was one of the games I think oh I'm gonna practice this I'm gonna try this with these man because it's just trash and then um no respect bro when I was like prime hooping days I had no respect for anyone

I literally only cared about, if you're not playing for like England, I don't care about you. So yeah, I used to, we played it and I played him. And then out of nowhere, bro, they just had this play. They just, I wasn't paying attention. They just dashed in the ball, jammed it in my face, bro. Balls just all up in my cheeks. Nuts everywhere, fam. And I was just there on the floor like. Nah.

Did he jump? As soon as he landed, did he just look down at you? Fam, you hung on the ting and just stared at me. Come off. And then did that slow jog back, just staring at me on the floor. This is literally high Q. Bro. When they do the setter dump. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And all of a sudden, I'm going to rush into my car. And you just look down at me. He just looks down at them. Fam. You prick. He jogged back. I was like, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, fam. I told these man, ISO, ISO. Ha.

I told Donny, run me the ball now. I called him out. This is how little I cared about this tournament. I called him out. He was down in his half. I was up at my hoop. I said, come. Told all his boys, all my boys. I said, everyone get down there. You, come now. I'm not having this. Guard me. I dare you, fam. I dare you to guard me. Twangled his feet up. Because he was so tall, he couldn't barely move, fam. So he just...

A little shoulder shimmy here and there. Roundabout, bam. I dowsled him all the way down to the other court. Quick little... Pump fake. Yeah, pump fake reverse layup under his finger. Just like, shut up and get away from me.

Get off me. It wasn't impressive as dunking on him, but I got my redemption. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. You needed that, man. Everyone needs that. You can't get dunked on balls and not redeem yourself. You can't. Nuts in my mouth. It's just like, oh God, kill me now. Kill me now. On home turf, it was at our school. I was like, fuck, just kill me, bro. You had a what would you do thing, no? Yeah. Where's my phone? Fucking hell. We've been talking about sports for ages. I forgot about that. Right. Yeah.

My in-laws say, what would you do? Right? My in-laws were visiting and I couldn't be asked, entertaining them. So I had to, so I told everyone I've fancied a nap because of a headache. I went upstairs and watched some spicy porn for a solid 20 minutes, despite not being able to get the sound to work on my phone.

Upon returning downstairs, I could see everyone awkwardly looking at my headphones. Only for my partner to inform me. I already know what's happened. Only for my partner to inform me. They could all hear the sounds blaring out of them as I didn't turn my Bluetooth off. Nobody looked impressed. Bro, what do you do? What do you do, bro? I actually don't know. The thing is, I already know what I'm going to do. If...

If I'm watching porn and I can't hear shit and I've tried multiple videos, something's obviously off, you know? I'm not going to stay there for 20 minutes listening to audio-less porn. Big man. Who watches porn for 20 minutes, by the way? That's a long time. He's watching it like it's leisure. He's watching it like it's anime. Just sitting there watching it like that. Like an anime episode. Nah. Bro, if I can't hear anything, there's clearly something wrong. I need to figure it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I need to hear... I can't just watch it. I need everything involved, you know? Bro...

So clearly something's wrong. Let me figure it out. He was, he was Jun Tao. He just wanted to whack one out as, as, as immediately as he could, you know? But anyway, what would you do? You've walked downstairs. You've mustered your nut. You've got your girl, your girl's parents. Let's say a couple of nephews and nephews there's chilling. What do you do? You're in her yard.

You're in her yard. It's not in my girl's yard. You're at your girl's yard, but you were staying over for the night. Oh my God. You got like your Bose headphones just chilling there, audio connected to your laptop upstairs. And you know Bose headphones, when they're not on your ear, they're just loud when they're just... Screeching. Bro. Oh my God. What do you do? What do you do? This is the first time I've been absolutely speechless. I can picture myself there. So let me think about it. So I go downstairs and...

Everyone's staring at me. I can imagine coming downstairs and playing it off as if you've just come back from an app. Like, hmm. Fam. Crusted by. What's up? What are them ones? But they've heard the whole ting. That's double embarrassment. So is someone addressing me? Because at this point, I don't know what's going on. Is someone saying what happened? Let's... Okay. No, no, no. All right. Let's just say... Let's say... Sorry. Let's just say...

Your girl's mum As soon as you walk down the stairs You do your whole Stretch whatever Fake nonsense Everyone's staring at you Like what? And then your girl's mum Just picks up the headphones And just And I know now You know I know immediately Did you forget this? And you're like Now what do you do? You know immediately Because as soon as you've seen The headphones you think No wonder my fucking audio Wasn't working You put two and two together Yeah immediately I'm not done Immediately I say yeah I did I'd be so mortified I can already feel my blood Running cold in my veins

I think I'd be like, yeah, thank you. And then I would kiss my girl on the cheek and I'd just walk out. I'd have to just walk out. I couldn't look back. There's nothing I could... I wouldn't have the strength for that. I wouldn't have the strength to be like, oh, yeah, sorry. I wouldn't have the strength for it. I'll quit. Bro, there'll be so many questions. They can ask themselves because I'm not going to be there.

20 minutes. Why is he watching porn when, first of all, when the whole family's here? Does he have an addiction? That's what they think. Does he do this often? Fam, does he have an addiction? He's at a family gathering in someone else's house and he runs upstairs to watch porn. Does he have an addiction? What's wrong with him? I would leave my relationship for that. A man said, I'm going upstairs for a cheeky nap. He bust one out and lied about it.

Came up with this whole facade. Nah fam. I would happily lose my relationship for that. Happily. If I'm a young buck as well. In my teens. 100% I'm losing my relationship for that. Embarrassing. You know she's telling all the gats. Oh 100%. I have to move town and everything.

If we've got mutual friends, oh, I'm vexed. Mum, please, let's go. Mum, please, let's go to another city. I don't have to explain it, but please. I can't explain it to you, but please. Bro, we have to leave. We have to get out now. I don't want to hear questions. Get your shit and let's go. Please. I'll be crying. I'll be begging my mum. Please. Let's go. Bro. Oh, my days, bro. Mummy. That's when you use that. Mummy. Mummy. Mummy, please.

I can't remember the last time I called my mummy or my dad daddy. Oh fam, I don't remember. That's hilarious. I remember the day I stopped, I told you, I remember the day I stopped calling my dad daddy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was shook. Night dad, don't say it like that. Night dad. And he said he, was he? And I just paused. And I did, I walked out. I laid back like, oh, oh, oh.

Too funny bro I was so scared That's too funny I've recently started Calling my dad pops I call him pops Like monotonously now I don't call him dad Or anything anymore I don't know why It just spiralled out of nowhere This is normal now Yeah I call my dad What do me and my bro Call my dad Pa Pa Yeah we call him pa

I don't think you've necessarily told me that before, but I think you've said it in like conversation. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I have to take an emergency exit. I don't know what else to do. I just don't have it in me to just affirm that, bro. That's embarrassing, James. It's too embarrassing. It's embarrassing, James. 20 minutes. Like you said, there's just too many questions to answer. Yeah. There are too many questions. Why here? Why now? Why for so long? Like, what's wrong with you? Why do you feel the urge to do it now?

If you were so bored, like, why don't you go home? Like, is this what you do when you're bored? You just sit there and watch porn? Like, did you even fap? Like, what was that? What was that? You were just watching it, bro. Oh my God. Like, what do you have to, and then the parents are not going to be happy. They're going to say, what do you, what do you have to say to Sarah? I feel like Sarah is owed an apology. What do you have to say to Sarah? What do you have to say for yourself? No one can say that to me. No one could put the onus on me. Like James, what do you have to say for yourself?

Oh, escape. Escape. I don't care anymore. I'm like, you man, I don't care. Bye. I'm not dealing with this. Do you know how embarrassed I am? I'll have to be honest. Do you know how embarrassed I am? I'm leaving. Sarah, I'm sorry. I'm fucking sorry. I'm sure you can understand. Yeah. If she was at the other foot, you'd dip too. Oh, 100%. Everyone's out. What would you do? I would... I would be shell-shocked, obviously. But I think...

I don't know. I don't think I would be able to stomach the questions. I genuinely don't think I'd be able to stomach the questions. But within the same breath, I don't know how I'd exit the building. Because I understand the fact that it will be a fight or flight situation where you're like, I can't deal with this. I just need to bounce. But I genuinely don't know how I'd do it. You know? Because my girl's parents are at the yard for a reason. Let's say it's... Oh no, you said we're at my girl's yard, right? My girl's parents' yard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I wouldn't know...

I just wouldn't know how I'd leave the situation. Obviously, me and the girl are meant to be together. We'll probably go in there to visit the parents, blah, blah, blah. We probably came together, you know? So it's like... Yeah, this whole thing in my head, I assumed that it was her and her parents' yard and I was a visitor. If we came together, I'll climb up my own arsehole. Bro, I don't know, man. It's West. I would like to say I'd want to leave.

but i just don't know how i'd go about it i honestly don't know how i'd go about it because i'd be too i don't know i can't have that many eyes on me especially for that kind of situation i can't have that many eyes on me i wouldn't know what to do or not to say i wouldn't i'll be so scared to receive a message from her bro if i see her if i see sarah's name pop up on my i message on my whatsapp i'm not i'm not opening it

I'm not opening it bro you can bail me as much as you want I've been there before where I'm dreading a message from a certain someone because of whatever and soon you pop up I feel sick I just feel sick to my fucking stomach oh why why when this all doesn't go away I literally want I want the world to swallow me I think I would just have to assume an alias and be like my name is James and I'm a sex addict

I've been seeing therapists for years. I'm sorry. I needed a quick fix. Now, you know, I'm glad. If anything, I'm glad it's out there. If anything, I'm glad we all know now. That's a persona you have to keep up with, bro. I would lie. I would lie. I would tell my girl the truth when we get home. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When we get in the car, she's like, what the fuck? I'm like, shut up, man. You knew what it was. You know what I'm like. What am I supposed to do? You know what I'm like. Man said, did I take the A45 or the M2?

What option did I have? I had to leave. I had to get upstairs. Shit combo. I wasn't tired. Oh, my days. And nothing else to do. Oh, my days. That's hilarious. That is hilarious. Oh, fun. Jesus. I'm glad I asked you that. Fun question. Hit me. Tell me the truth, though. Oh, God. No, it's not even that bad, but just tell me the truth. Okay, okay. I hate when you say tell me the truth. I hate it. It puts me on edge. Am I too old to start skateboarding? That's very random. Um...

Before I answer the question, where has this interest come from? I don't know. Well, I've always been interested in skateboarding. Okay. I've never had the urge to go out and try and do it. Have you ever owned a skateboard? Yeah, when I was a kid. Yeah, same. When I was a kid, I owned a skateboard. And I got up to the top of it. I lived next to a park that had a fucking massive hill and like a footpath on the hill. So before I could learn to skate...

i sit on it and roll down the hill yeah and then bam and then just lean side to side i sat on it made it halfway down the hill fell off skidded fam knuckles bust up knees bust up everything i was just on the grass like that i never used the skateboard again after that and you see the skateboard just peel off into the distance and i was just there just twangled so i knew i was never gonna step on the skateboard again i made a foul

But then, do you remember when they had those mini skateboards? Yes, the long, thin ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had one of those and I used to like do little tricks in my living room and shit. And I was like, oh, this is cool. But I've always been interested in it, but I've never ever had the urge to like go out and do it. And then I was just, I was, I'm...

I follow Nigel Houston on Instagram. I don't know who that is. Big boy skateboarder. Okay. Probably like the most famous skateboarder in America. And... Like the Tony Hawks of this day. Yeah, basically. And I also follow this peng female skateboard called... Skateboarder. Skateboarder. She's Brazilian. She's called... I want to... It's like... Oh, what is her name? Sorry, I'm going to have to figure it out. I can't let that one slide. It is...

Something Buffoni or something like that. Letitia Buffoni. And she's sick. She was in London the other day, actually. But she's live. And I just watched their stories and shit. And I think, fuck, skateboarding's cool. And I saw a TikTok the other day where one guy was like, oh...

started skateboarding a year ago today. Big man as well. Started skateboarding a year ago today. And this is... The progress. Progress. These are tricks I can do. And he did them. And obviously, yeah, he looked like a deer on ice, basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But at the same time, I was like, he landed all of them. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, fair play. That's pretty fucking cool. And just as like a cool...

It's just a cool way to get from A to B. I'm more saying like, I wish I need to go on more walks and stuff like that. And if I just had a skateboard or wanting to try skateboarding, I would have a reason to go out more and just do shit. And like, I've also thinking about, obviously your boy, your boy basically dresses like a skateboarder anyway. I remember you saying this. I never wear trousers. A few episodes ago. I'm always wearing baggy tops now. I wear the fucking classic Reeboks. And I had some Vans on yesterday. Yeah.

And I was like, and I also want to get a tattoo on my neck. Okay. Like how? I don't know. Okay. Bro, I don't know. I want a half sleeve on my leg and I want a tattoo on my neck. Sick. I just want the neck one. I do like, I do like the idea of it. It doesn't need to be like extreme, but I need a, you can't do another job interview tattoo. That's what I need. Now that I've quit, I need to solidify the fact that I can't go back. I can't go back into the dog eat dog world. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You can't do another job interview tattoo. Hilarious. I need it. You can't get hired tattoo. That's what I'm after. That's what I'm in the market for. So if any of you guys are tattoo designers or whatever, tattoo artists, and you have some designs or some ideas for some cool neck tattoos, let me know. And I also want like a half sleeve on my leg. So from like here to here of like, I don't know, some kind of anime collage kind of thing. That'll be sick. I think it'll be sick, but I don't want...

Like your typical face of a character on here. I want it to mean, I want it to be something. I want it to be some kind of story where only true anime fans will even know that that's an anime tattoo. Do you know what I mean? I want that kind of shit. So I want something like that, but I'm not entirely sure what yet.

that's cool man at least you got a rough idea though yeah um but the neck one i ain't got a fucking clue what i want not a fucking clue but i definitely i definitely want to tie it on my neck just so you can't get hired anymore that's what i want you can't get hired anymore and you have to be okay with that because you took this step and now you're gonna live in it forever um

But that's what I want. So, and I thought, man, that just makes me look more like a skateboarder. So if I, if I had all that shit and I dress that way and actually was good at skateboarding, bro, it's a wrap. That's just a new level to my repertoire. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a bit different. So I thought maybe I should buy a skateboard and start trying to practice skateboarding.

To answer your question, I don't... I personally don't think it's ever too late to do anything, period. Unless, like, you're disabled or something, you know what I mean? But, within the same breath, do you honestly think you would keep it up? I don't know. I hope so. That's the only thing. Bro, I genuinely don't know. But then again, it's not like you're...

there won't be anything to keep up in the sense of you've not got a target like you've not got it's not like in two years time you're trying to compete for something or you're trying to enter some competition yeah you just want to do it for recreation do it for fun and something you want to do so if that's the if that's where your common um goal is at then why not yeah man you know i might go for it i might buy a skateboard go for it g

Yeah, man. I just don't know if 30 is too old. I mean, I don't want to. I don't know, man. I don't want to rock up in the skate park. What's going on? This old nigger, it can't do nothing, you know? And I'm just there like. You've got no balance, fam. One kick and I move like half an inch. I'm just there. Oh, embarrassing. Bro, you'll be so surprised about how many people would be willing to want to teach you.

You'll be surprised. I say... I also watched a skateboard in anime a little while ago. Skateboard in anime? Yeah, it was quite cool. Oh, what was it called? It was called skate... Excuse me. I've got it on a list. I've got my anime list. Mm-hmm.

It was called Skate Infinity. Yeah, it was all right, man. Fair play. So yeah, I don't know, man. I don't know. Bella loves skateboarding, but she doesn't skateboard. But if she's like walking to town or something, like during lockdown, especially, obviously everyone's trying to do something more extracurricular. Them dons near town. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. When we used to live in my old spot.

um every time Bella used to go to town or whatever she'd see either if it's a football or a skateboard she's involved she's involved I saw and she's older than me she's older than you you know so she would just ask the guys it's obviously different for a woman yeah because she's she's a paying woman it's obviously different but within the same breath it's never too late bro true it just goes to show it's never too late to do what yeah thing is I I also have an obsession with being very shit at things and getting better at things it was the same when I started jujitsu

My first day of Jiu Jitsu, I was God awful broke. But I loved the fact that I was completely shit at it. And I was like, gang. And then when you get better and better and better, and then you become good, and you can actually say, oh, I'm good at this thing. And you're better than... I like being in a position where you've started something and you're absolutely shit. And you get to a point where...

you are better than a hundred percent of the people on their first day trying this because you know how like you can be doing stuff for a while but people with like natural talent towards things can come in on their first day and smack you up yeah and you're like oh well i've just wasted a year my life because this guy's just gifted like you can get that in a lot of sports whereas like um

Like, I feel like obviously really technical stuff, like jujitsu and like some martial arts and stuff like that. I like being that guy on his first day, getting my ass handed to me. And then six months, a year down the line, you get to a point where you meet someone else on the first day and you're a million times better than they are. And you think, fuck bro, that was me. That was actually me. And you think it's so rewarding. Of course. I just find it so rewarding. So yeah, mate, fuck it. You know what? I am going to get a skateboard and I am going to jump out of a plane and you're coming too. Yeah.

We've already discussed that. I know. People keep messaging me asking when it's happening. I actually don't know when it's happening. I know. But it's going to happen. I'm scared as fuck. I know you are. Oh, God. I'm scared as fuck about that. I can't wait to see you with them goggles. I know. I know you can't. And the cap. The skull cap. Skull cap and goggles just vexed and upset. Oh, I'm going to scream through that. I'm going to scream my lungs out. I'm going to be laughing so hard. I'll be laughing so hard at you that I won't have any fear in me. I know. Until my edges are up to the end. Yeah.

Your knees will be shaking. Oh, bro. Your knees will be shaking. I'm going to tell him, just hold me. Hold me like a lover. Hold me. Wrap your legs around me. Do what you need to do. Bro, I genuinely think I'm going to be one of them ones where, you know when you see videos of them men that go on like slingshot rollercoaster rides and they pass out midair. Phil Dunphy. Phil Dunphy wanted to rollercoaster on Modern Family. Midair is just like... And then he wakes up.

And then he just drops again. That's going to be me. I promise you that's going to be me. I tell you now, fam, I couldn't be there, free falling, look up to my side and just see you dangling asleep. I would scream, fam. Donnie would think there's something wrong. I would be laughing so hard, fam. Oh God, I couldn't just see you there like that. Bro, I'd be dangling. I already know it. I already know. I'm going to miss the whole experience because I'm going to be dangling.

Oh my days. My heart wouldn't take it. I can't breathe. That's so funny, bro. That's too funny, man. Fuck. Jesus Christ. That's hilarious. I'm scared, bro. I know you are. I'm very scared. I'm scared for you. I'm scared for me. But it's going to bang. Don't worry. It's going to bang. Oh, I don't doubt it, G. It's going to be a science tick off the list. I've got an almighty asshole and then we can wrap this bitch up. Fuck me. That was funny. Right.

This is a different kind of one. Hit me. I'm 23 and live with my dad. This is a guy, by the way. Okay. I'm 23 and I live with my dad. I work and make enough money to live alone, but due to family circumstances, I had to move back to my dad's a few years ago and was told it would be me saving money as Pops does all the bills. It started out great for like three weeks. I wasn't paying for nothing. I would give Pops money, but as they said, it was less than I was paying living alone. Hmm.

But as they say, all good things come to an end. Long story short, I'm paying for all different kind of bills. My question is, how do I save to move out when I've got all these new responsibilities, which weren't part of the original plan? Any advice would be great. By the way, if you didn't guess already, I'm Nigerian. I feel like that makes all the difference. Yeah, because I remember a time where

Obviously, I'm Nigerian. I remember a time when I was living in Baguio home with my parents. And I think this is when I first started maybe grill on the market, maybe. My parents were like, all right, boom. Now that you're making a bit of P, you got to chip in. Standard, isn't it? And I was like, okay, cool, cool, cool. And obviously, I told you time ago, we always used to save every month, blah, blah, blah, all that shit. But because at that time, I didn't have any plans of saving to move out.

It was very different for me. I was just frustrated. I was giving my money away. I was vexed. I was giving my money away. But when you're 18, 19, 20, 21, you don't really think, you don't really understand, you know? Like I felt like my parents felt like I was a squatter, you know? Like I have to chip in. So in his context or his point of view,

did you say what he did did you say job wise yeah no you didn't say i mean it's tough because obviously because i don't know what you do and obviously the amount you earn and blah blah blah it's hard to say how you can get out how you can get yourself out of that situation i think the best thing for me to say for you is probably speak to your parents to say boom i've got this plan that i want to move out i want to try and save x amount of money

so I can be here in my life in two or three years down the line. I feel like if you have an adult conversation with an actual adult, they will see you in a different light as opposed to you being their son or their daughter, just living in a yard and paying money here, there and everywhere. Because it's inevitable that parents are going to see, once they, once, especially African parents or Nigerian parents, once they see you making money,

some p and you live under their roof you you're gonna have to contribute no matter what you say no matter what you do or say yeah you're gonna have to do the food shopping yeah contribute a bit to the council tax you know buy this here buy that there and it's inevitable you know but i feel like if you have a conversation and be like boom i want to in two years time i want to move out and have my own spot because of x y and z i feel like it would be great for me and this that and the other then they'll probably see you in a different light then they'll probably feel see you that see you as an adult see you as a person that

you're actually trying to plan at this age you know you're actually trying to achieve something and be better and be more independent and all those kind of things but it just depends he has lived it alone before okay he lived alone first and then he said because of family circumstances he had to move back yeah and now we can't afford to move back out again i forgot about that i was just i was spiraling on that bit i was spiraling on that bit i forgot about that bit

His dad knows all of that. He don't want to hear it. He don't want to hear all this independent chat. His dad just wants to save a bit of pee. The rent is too much for him at the moment. The bills are piling up. He wants to watch BT Sports. He was an easy life. He was the easy life and he still wants to watch football on the weekend. Damn. He's not going. I'm sorry, bro. You know,

- I get everything I just said. I get everything I just said. - Your dad's got itchy thumbs. - You're paying rent until you get another job, bro. Until you get a better job, you ain't going anywhere. - Or get yourself a girlfriend, bro. Move in with her. Get yourself a girlfriend with her own spot and move in with her. That's the only way out. - You ain't going anywhere, bro. I'm sorry. Nigerian or not, you're not going anywhere. - Oh my days, that's dread. - You ain't going anywhere. - Oh my God. - You're paying rent until you can't pay rent no more.

Nah, that's long. It's an opening shot. I'm swinging. I'm swinging someone. It's an opening shot. No one's getting me in that predicament. I'm swinging someone. You're paying rent so you can't pay rent anymore. Nah, my parents could never put that pressure on me. I'm swinging them. I'll murder them. Which means I used to live alone and then I acted like a responsible man and moved back in for you and now I'm trapped and I can never get out? Trapped. That's it, you're done. That's it, bro. No. Sorry, bro. The answer's no. The answer's no. What are you going to do? I'll leave. I'll leave.

I'll leave. I'll live in my car until I can find somewhere else, G. I'll leave. I'll say, nah, you're taking the piss out of me. Fam, your parents will change the locks immediately. What? I need to shower? What? You should afford that for your kids, bruv. You African man, when it comes to parenting, will forever, forever tickle me. Bro, they teach you. So harsh. Harsh because it teaches you how life is, bro. It does. It just teaches you how life, anyone can get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you live in an African household, anyone can get it.

You know? It's just a way of life. But it builds you as a person. Oh, Black Summer for real, for real. For real. For real. Black Summer for real. Anyone can get it, bro. Anyone can get it. Nah, I'm not growing up like that. I'm not growing up like that. I have no choice. Oh my God.

Fam, that's hilarious. It's open and shut for me. My mum was on a different thing. Never. When I got my first job and stuff like that, she never asked me for no money. This is the difference. This is the difference. Maybe she should have asked me for money in retrospect, but then I would have been vexed either way. I think I told her, she made me get a job. As soon as I turned 16, you're getting a fucking job. She said it on there. Yeah, and I was like, nah, I don't want one. I've never wanted a job.

I didn't want one then. I don't want one now. I've never wanted one. Leave me out of it. And she was like, bro, she was like, when I was your age, my dad never let me get a job. And I always wanted to do fun things with my friends. And I wanted a job. It wouldn't let me get a job and all this stuff. So now you're old enough, big man, trust me, you need money. You need to be able to go out for your friends. You need to do this. You're getting a job. Big man, I said, fuck that.

I didn't say that to her face, obviously. But I was like, fuck that, bro. I'd rather sit and wank. I don't care. I'm not working. You can't make me, bro. I'm not doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not doing it. If that man want to go cinema, I can't afford it. Turns out I can't afford it. I'm not getting a job. I don't want to work. Turns out I can't afford it. Bro, I was so against having a job. Yeah. But I was...

I think it was more against someone forcing me to get a job because it was like a lose-lose. It's like, not only do I not want to be here at the job, but at least I get paid. It's like, I don't want to be at the job. I don't even want to get paid. I don't want to have anything to do with this. Like,

you're making me get the job and these men are making me stay and these men are making me work everyone's making me do shit I don't want to do and I'm going to fight someone it was a lose lose losey lose yeah yeah I was even vexed when I got my first job first job was so easy it was so easy working at a leisure centre okay I think I said this before I used to work at a leisure centre

And I had like one or two shifts a week. And they were like three or four hour shifts. And then when I first got the job, I used to box. My boxing club used that leisure center as a training center. And I used to play basketball there as well. So my basketball was on the basketball court. My boxing was in the boxing gym. And I would spend so much time in the leisure center just from my extracurriculars. So when I got a job there, the manager already knew who I was. Mm-hmm.

And he said, look, I need you for these shifts. It's like going to be dead. You're mostly going to be doing cleaning and stuff. If you're working on a day where you've got boxing or basketball, look, just go do your training. I don't want to interrupt your training and stuff like that. And then come back after your training and finish your shift. And I was like, gang, I did that for like six months. Then he got sacked. Then they put a new manager in, Linda. Fucking Linda. She said the first thing she said, this basketball boxing thing, forget that. You're here to work.

You said that not too long ago Fam it must have not been that She's you're here to work big man And she worked me bro I used to have to hide I used to go upstairs and hide So she thought I was doing something Because if she saw me Just literally strolling through She'll put a broom in my hand I hated her I hated that job from then But even though it was one or two shifts a week Fucking hated it Hated it bro I've always hated working Always But yeah

Yeah, instead of my mum being like, right, you've got a job, give me money. It was like, I don't want your money, I want you to have money, but go get a fucking job. Where I was like, I don't want money, I don't want anything. I just...

I just want anything but a job. I don't care. Like I literally do not care. Plus me and my boys used to just play football all day anyway. No one was going to the cinema. Your leisure was free at that time. My leisure was free at that time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I wasn't like, my group of friends weren't the type of friends to like, oh, let's go cinema. Let's do this. Let's do that. They never, we would never, when I was a teenager, we never did shit that cost money. Ever. We would always just play football or basketball or whatever. Like everything was free. So I couldn't even wrap my head around the fact why do I need money? Yeah. Yeah.

What am I going to do with it? What literally am I going to do with it? Go shop? Nah, I don't care. I don't need it. But yeah, if she was like,

you're 16 which means you need a job because you need to contribute to the house otherwise you're out i would have i still would have been vexed but i would have been like fine yeah yeah yeah fine yeah yeah yeah oh frustrating i can imagine oh frustrating i hated working so much we had and i remember before i came to uni i quit obviously i knew i had to quit that job because i was going to uni we were going to uni in september i quit in like june

My mum was so vexed. She was so, what do you mean? And she's like, wait, I'm going to uni, I can't work there anymore. She's like, you're not going to uni for like four months. Whatever, innit? Any excuse to get out of that job. I'm not working there anymore. It's whatever, mum. Whatever.

But yeah, sorry G, you're trapped. You are trapped. You need to tell your dad enough is enough is enough. You are trapped. Because big man, I'm on the far, yeah, I would say risk, I don't know. I'm not Nigerian. I don't know in it, but I would personally say risk it all and just tell pops, I don't want to be here anymore. I want to live. I want to go back out to where I was. I've come home.

like i needed to i've done what i needed to do but now it's time for me to go back out into the wild yeah and you're stopping me with this how old did he say he was he's 23 23 okay he's not that young he's not that young man he's not that young he's been an adult for five years now he's lived on his own he's had to come back and i want to go out again just tell him pops this is how it is i lived alone i enjoyed it i've come back to help you i've helped you now and now i want to go back out but i can't because i keep having to give you money all the time how are we going to pattern this what would your dad say in that situation

If I just said what you said to my pops at 23, boy, he'd probably look at me and be like, what do you mean? He would look at me, put his glasses down, like, what do you mean, bro? My heart would beat. The thing is, as you were saying that, I was thinking, there's no way I can say what you just said to my pops. Really? I could probably obviously say that now, but back in the day, I'm thinking...

The thing with, I think this is with everyone in general, but because I'm Nigerian, I can only speak from my background and my perspective. And because I know a lot of Nigerians as well, back in the day when I used to live in London. So the thing with Africans and Nigerians, right? When it comes to money and like living situations and things like that, like helping the parents and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. They don't want that to leave our four walls. You know, like I said, I'm sure that's the same with any and everyone, but I can only speak of my context. Yeah.

So for me to... My dad would probably find a way to make me feel guilty, to make me stay, to keep helping him out, than him agreeing to...

Even if he did say yes, it's fine. You can bounce. He will still find a way to make me feel guilty. Oh, okay. I just have a feeling that's how the conversation will pattern. Yeah. You just want the world to know I'm broke, innit? That's why you want to leave me. You want everyone out here to know that I can't pay rent. So, you don't want me to live till next week. Something stupid, you know? It's just one of them ones. So, I feel like money situations is hard, man. Money situations is hard, especially when it's to do with family because...

You're inevitably going to feel guilty and you're inevitably going to want to help out as well, but you can't always do both or you can't always feel both. So I don't know, man. My dad would find a way to make me stay. At 23, helping him out, bro, but if I'm making a decent amount of P, I don't see him giving me an... I don't see myself giving myself an out unless he gives me an out. Swear. Yeah. So you're just living it as long as you had to live in it? I feel like...

until I reach a breaking point or for example like you said I got a girl when I go and live with her and blah I just don't see an out I don't see an easy out whatsoever oh wow that's really interesting I don't see an easy out if I'm in that predicament you know I don't see an easy out mad I hope that kind of answers your question yeah he's trapped you are trapped honestly to god unless you want to lose your dad you're trapped as soon as you said if you haven't guessed already I'm Nigerian I can obviously empathise and understand the situation so you know

All right, man. Good luck, bro. Let's know how it goes. Yeah, man. And for the rest of you guys, Patreon every Thursday. Patreon.com forward slash shits and gigs. Jump on. If you've enjoyed this video, guys, please pump that like button. Please subscribe if you're not already, guys. And comment. Comment, man. Help us with the algorithm. Help us reach all the little ears and eyes that we haven't reached yet. If you funk with us, then yeah, please help out. Guys, we love you and we will catch you over on Patreon on Thursday. Love, love, love, love, love. Peace, peace, peace.

Peace, peace, peace, peace.

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