cover of episode BOY VS GIRL CODE?! | EP 377 | ShxtsNGigs Podcast

BOY VS GIRL CODE?! | EP 377 | ShxtsNGigs Podcast

2024/3/25
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My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friend's still laughing me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash results to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn.com slash results.

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Interesting question this week. We've got a surprise for you. We've got a question at the beginning and a question at the end. But the question at the beginning of this episode is, worst ways someone has broken bro code. You got some juicy ones? This is a sentence. And someone we know sent this one in. I found it. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My mate was seeing this mystery girl for months. I would never tell us who it was, but used to tell us in detail everything.

about the sex and would like do and would tell us in detail about the sex and would do like demonstrations around the gaff of what they'd do and what they've been up to and they'd say shit like she says I'm the best and the biggest she's ever had. Turns out he'd been seeing the girlfriend of one of the other guys in the group and he'd be doing all these acts right in front of his face. - And it's someone we know. - Not in our inner circle.

- But yeah, so we know. - What are we not of? - But this is, he's not talking about, he's not, the guy who sent it in is not, he's not the guy whose girlfriend it was and he's not the guy doing the acts. - Oh. - He was just a party to this whole situation. - Oh, watch, watch. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - He's a spectator from both sides. - Okay, cool. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Fuck. - Yeah. - Fuck. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Damn, damn, damn, okay. - There's certain levels of impossible and that's number one. Can you imagine me in the studio be like, bro, I had a ting yesterday, gawking. She was gawking the ting.

- She couldn't handle it. She couldn't handle it, but she was forcing it. - She was forcing it, saying it's the biggest I've ever had. I want more, daddy, I want more. - It's the biggest, I need it, more, more, more. Turns out it's Ellis' girl. - Stop. - That made me dizzy. I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking. It wasn't, it wasn't. - Oh, bro, fuck. Imagine that, no, that, ah.

I don't know how I actually would react. I think it was too much for me. Yeah. Way too much. Anyway, worst way someone has broken bro code. My homie who was homeless and staying with us stole three things from every room. Three. Three things from every room. Bad things happen in threes, they say. Bro. Jesus. What a bastard. Yeah.

Right. Bro screen. Oh, this one. Bro screen recorded the group chat after I sent my sex tape with my side piece and sent it to my girl. Is this group chat not a safe space? Apparently not. That's bro code infringement. Infringement is the word. Wow. Yeah. Infringement is the word. Screen recording and sent to my girl. He had ulterior motives. Oh, 100%. Because you're inside my girl right now. Consoling her. From the inside out? Yeah. That's insane. Yeah.

That's ridiculous. Oh, wow. Damn. Fuck, man. My best friend put a condom on in my room, took a pic and sent it to my girl. I was downstairs watching TV. I was downstairs watching TV. It's madness. It's out of order, bro. It's madness, bro. He accidentally, so my boy accidentally called her by the nickname that I used for her in the group chat.

Later that night, all I got was, "I want us to have a very long phone call. Tell me when you're ready." The panic that would ensue through my head to my tippy toes.

I want us to have a very long phone call. Tell me when you're ready. - Bro! - I would have the longest gym session. I would have the longest shower. I would have the longest meal prep. I would have the longest shit. Everything, bro. Because I have to get it all out my system. - I'm not ready. - Yeah, I'm not prepared for that level of conversation. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Tell me when you're ready. - That's scary, chat. - I have such avoidance, bro.

Just dump me. Facts. Whatever you have to say, I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it. It's got to be in, in, want it out. Do you ever just dump me? Man called her by her group chat nickname. I want to have a long conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Man just called her tonsils or something. Yeah. Yo, tons. Yo, dangly. Yeah, that dangly dang. That's you, no? Fuck. Right. He let me raise a kid he knew was his and would always tell me, you're the father of the year.

You're the father of the year. - Stop. - 'Cause I'm not dealing with that. I just came here for puss. - He knew it was his. - You're the father of the year. - You're the father of the year. Can you imagine that? - No. - Your you is my you and I'm telling you you're the father of the year. - 'Cause you're bouncing my you on your knee. - Yeah. - Just bottle feeds, all that. And I'm like, bro, you know what? You're the father of the year. And you're just there sweating safe, bro. Cheers, cheers, cheers. It's tough.

The sleepless nights. And I'm there like, couldn't be me, bro. It couldn't be me, bro. Couldn't be me. Deep down, it's yours. Yeah, I need to kick. Damn. Wow. All right. Break of the bro code, yeah? She used to be mine. They have a two-year-old now. She used to be mine. She used to be mine. They have a two-year-old now. I love the lack of context, but it says everything. Everything that we need to know in one sentence. Used to be mine. She's not mine anymore. She's his. They've got a two-year-old. They've got a two-year-old now. Damn. Damn.

Sometimes it really makes you think, man. Yeah, facts. Who's worse? Right, bro code. My boy liked this girl but was too shy to do anything. I lipsed her while she was sat on his knee. Man is this, he's confessing his own bro code violation. I lipsed her while she was sat on his knee.

- That's like 16 year old chat because that can't happen as a grown adult. - That happened at house party in a 16 year old chat. - Yeah, between 16 and 18, yeah. - What was that fucking show called back a day? Skins? Did you ever watch Skins? - Loosely. I think I watched it in season one. - Season one of Skins? - Yeah, I don't remember it well, but I think I watched season one. - Season one of Skins, the main character was a bastard. - I'll swear. - He was on them things. - I'll swear. - He was on them things.

He was stealing everyone's gal. - Really? - All the time Fu had. - Rah, was he late? - No. - He just was. - Yeah, confidence. All the confidence in the world. - That helps. - Oh, it did. Yeah, he was a type where he had a brethren in, I can't remember his brethren's name. I can't remember any of their names. Huh? - Sid. - Sid, yeah. Sid got sand kicked in his face daily. - Damn. - Sand kicked in his face daily, bro. Anytime he was on a ting, do you remember what his boy was called? The main guy.

- Tony. - Tony. - Yeah, yeah. - Fucking Tony, bro. Tony's yanking all Sid's things all the time. - All the time? - The whole two seasons, bro. Always taking his things, bro. - Tony needs to learn, man. - Yeah, Tony won't learn his shit. Tony was the fictional Spencer from "Made in Chelsea." - How can I respect you when you allow me to cheat on you? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was Tony to a T, bro. - That's the worst line I've ever heard on TV. - Yeah, that is the worst.

That is the worst original reality TV line ever. - Ever. - How can I respect you when you allow me to cheat on you? - Lies. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - At the Thames. - Bro, bro! Scenic! I couldn't be the cameraman or the bread with a jumbo mic. I couldn't. - Yeah, yeah, the boom mic guy.

You'll see a dip into the screen. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Wow. Wow. How can I respect you when you allow me to cheat on you? Such an iconic bar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Evil. Evil. Pure evil. Yeah, yeah. That was Voldemort on our screens. We've never seen stuff like that. Voldemort. Wow. Couldn't believe it. Wow. All right. Simple again. Straight to the point. Dude had a threesome with his girlfriend and mine.

- Who is your anger mostly directed at? - I think it gets to a point when there's too many people to be angry at, there's no more anger to be had. It manifests as something else. - Yeah. - Yeah. And it's like looking at sharp things. Objects. - Yeah. What can I hold? What can I firmly hold to wet a man up? - Yeah, yeah. To wet a man up. - I just need satisfaction. - Yeah. - There's not an angry bone in me. I need satisfaction.

Don't ask me when I'm done until I'm finished. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. All I wanna hear is repent. I don't want apologies. Just repent. - Facts. - Yeah, pay. - Yeah, nah, no, no, no. - Sharp objects. - Wow. - All right, last but not least. Worst way someone has broken bro code. Straight to the point. Motherfucker tried to kiss my sister. - That's hot water.

Bro code Vio. That's out of order. Sisters have always been a weird one where brethren seem to think it's in play. Say that again. Sisters have always been a weird one where there's always a slimy brethren who seems to think that the sister's fair game. Because we're boys, for some reason, if your sister's laying, I'm moving to her. I'm not me. Yeah, yeah. It's not obviously in our French group or probably French groups that I know of anyway. But yeah, I just don't like...

the idea of that. - Oh, it's disgusting. - Ellis, do you have a friendship group like that? Or do you know any friendship groups like that? - No, actually hasn't. Actually hasn't to be fair. - Fair, which is good. - I think there might've been exes things before maybe. - Exes. - Maybe in college, I'm pretty sure. Or maybe in school. - Someone in your friendship group moved to an ex of someone else in the friendship group. - Yeah, in school. - That's wild. - Yeah, man. - She must've been hot kamad. - Hot kamad is correct. - Hot kamad. - Yeah.

That's when you know you can't help yourself. She's that leng. I'm willing to deal with the repercussions. I'm willing to lose a friend. I'm willing to lose a friend. And once I back her, there's nothing you can tell me. Because I've got the sweet pie. I know you, man. I don't care. I don't care. I've sampled what I need to sample. I'm happy. The sweet pie.

- It's crazy though. - It's insane. - It's crazy. - I know someone. - Do you? - Yeah, I know someone. - A sister ting? - Fam? - Not just a sister, a twin. - Ooh, that's naughty. - Explain, explain please. - Explain all of it. - I just didn't ask you 'cause I assumed it's impossible. - Yeah, facts. - In your sentence. - Well, old, old, this is going way back now. - Okay. - I haven't spoken to them for years, but yeah. Two boys, one of them is a twin, twin sister. He's boy.

what's it got with married settled down family yeah yeah yeah with his boy's twin sister twin sister yeah yeah i know yeah i haven't spoken for years but i know of yes nah that's wild isn't it because i'm sure they have a happy family but i also can't be privy of i can't have the knowledge that

When my twin sister's pissed off, angry, whatever, I know the cause and it's my boy that I'm seeing tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't be dealing with it. I can't be the middleman of this. Yeah, 100%. I don't have the emotional stability for that. Yeah, it's done, bro. That will grind my gears, bro. Yeah, 100%. I'm not dealing with that. Fuck. Fuck. That'll piss me off. Yeah, same. Massively. Damn. Anyway, back to school. Back to school, bro. I'm doing the questions this time. Yes. Obviously, because I cleaned up last week. Sorry. You did, to be fair. Yeah, everyone grab your boards.

grab your markers and stand on business. You guys already know the rules. If you don't, I'm gonna explain it really, really quickly. Five questions, key stage three, 11 to 14 year old, different subjects, different topics, best out of five wins. If there's a tie break, we all obviously go to sudden death. Ellis, remind us of the scores, please, sir. - So the scores are James six, Rem two, Ellis one. - Right.

- So Ellis, Rem, you know what you need to do. James can't keep winning. - Yeah. - It's boring now. Cool. Back to school question number one. A gas changing states to become a liquid is also known as what? Cool. Question number two. Make 400 kilograms 15% bigger. Question number three. Name a language spoken in Belgium. Question number four. Spell accessory.

- Question number five. - Sorry, it just doesn't look right though, does it? - No. - Am I allowed on this? It doesn't look right, does it? - When you keep looking at a word you've written, I'm telling you, it fucks with you. The brain is crazy. - It doesn't look right. - It fucks with you. Yeah. Question number five. Is milk neutral, acidic, or an alkaline? - Oh, man, I didn't even know this. - Oh, dude. - No one does. Was that the first question you ever not known? - Fair.

I don't usually stand for that kind of chat, but fair. Fair. - But this one is like, bro. I would never have known. Lots, lots, lots? All right, that's five out of five. Let's swap boards. Question number one. A gas changing state to become a liquid is also known as what? The answer is the answer you rubbed out. Condensation. - Is that why it's so funny?

That's why it's so funny Yeah That's literally why it's funny It's hilarious That's pissed me off I know it has Yeah that's I know it has Yeah Sorry bro Because it's crazy Because I As I'm reading Obviously because you're closer to me I can somewhat see your board In my periphery And sometimes when you write I can see what you're writing So I

before you switch your balls over, I know your score. - Yeah. - I know your score. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So yeah. - I'm livid about that. - The crossing sweetened me. I just kept them. I couldn't move my lips. - So what's precipitation? - Precipitation, I think is- - Is that not the chance of rain? - That's the rain. - It is. - It is, it is, it is. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's gas to rain, I think. - Yeah. - As opposed to gas to liquid.

I should always stay with my gut, man. Yeah. Anyway. I get my head. Question number two. Make 400 kilograms 15% bigger. The answer is 460. Question number three. Name a language spoken in Belgium. You had options of three languages. French is an answer. German is an answer. And Dutch is an answer. Thank God. Question number four. Spell accessory. A.C.,

C-E-S-S-O-R-Y. Question number five. Is milk neutral, acidic, or an alkaline? The answer is acidic. Damn. Damn. Damn. And that concludes BTS.

Can we tally up the scores please and see? I think there might be a tiebreaker. - Rem got three out of five. - Okay. - James got three out of five. - Yeah. - Let's go. Let's go. - Tiebreaker. - Yeah boy. Three way sword fight. - That's a massive pause. That's a massive pause. - Fucking hell. - That's an entanglement. That's a knock. Sudden death question number one.

What is the next prime number? Exactly. After 19. Everyone show your answers in three, two, one. 21, 28, 23. We have one winner. And I'm explaining the reason why it's not 21 because you can divide that by, I think what's seven? - Three, seven. - Seven, three, 21 itself and one.

28 is also incorrect. - Yeah, it's first number. - Because it's number seven and it's an even number so you can divide it by two, you can divide it by 14, you can divide it by so many numbers. The answer is 23 because it can only be divisible by 23 and one. So James wins. - Thank you, gents. Thank you for showing up. Thank you for participating. It's boring to do it by myself. So thank you for coming in today.

- Guys, stand up please. Please, one week. I need you man to stand up. - I'm gonna have to literally start revising like I did for my GCSEs. It's fucking- - Bro, it's rough. It's rough out here. But I'm not gonna lie to you, man. I'm learning stuff. - Yeah. - Because if you didn't ask us a prime number question a few weeks back, I would never have known what that was. - That's exactly the reason why I doubled down and see if you guys will remember what it was. - Gang, I'm gassed about that. - Good, well played. - Cool guys.

- Whoop has been whooping. - It has been. - Daddy Fwigs is like 27 days without sugar now. - Yeah, man. - And he's looking snatched. - Come on, V-taped. - V-taped. - V-taped up. - V-taped is right. Upside down triangle. - V-taped up. Come on, dog. - So yeah, man, it's going well. I love seeing, like the chat is busy.

- So busy. - The chat is busy. - You got like 1.5 in there maybe? - Yeah. - 1.3, 1.4 in there? - Yeah. There's man chatting in there. - 1.8. - 1.8. Okay, 1,800 people in the Whoop Challenge right now, which is absolutely fucking insane. - That's insanity. - It is insane. - Yeah. - So what I'm gonna do, I'm not even gonna chat about myself. I'm gonna go and do some very, very quick shout outs to people who did the business last week, yeah? So last week,

The champion From So this is from 11th to the 18th 11th to the 18th So a week behind Or 11th to the 17th Yeah 11th to the 17th Yeah The champion of strain Was a guy called Kyle Mm

His picture is him on the ocean side. Yeah, just on the base of a yacht. On the base of a yacht. Yeah, and I buttoned down orange toothpaste. Yeah, his average strain was 19.7. Yeah, that's light for him. That's ridiculous. Average strain, where actually he drew with a chick called Chelsea. Fair play. Average for 19.7 every single day is ridiculous. So fair play. I finished, I'm not even going to say. Where did you finish? In Australia.

Out of 1.8,000, I'm not bad. I'll take it, 274. That is good. I'll take it. You're high on the strain there, to be fair. Yeah. I finished 1,069th.

you're on the four figs yeah my average is 9.6 my stream's really hard to get either like when i was smashing the sessions last week the highest i got was 13. fair yeah mine is based off my lack of recovery though as opposed to yours so if you get sleep yeah you can run up the stairs and get like 12 straight yeah that's that's it's insane yeah right recovery champs first place with 96 average sabrina well played well played indeed that's insane recovery

Average, you man. Average. Oh yeah, I'm actually deep here. The best I've ever got is 94. Her average is 96. My best I think I got was 92 or 89. That's the best I've ever gotten. I was gassed. I felt recovered. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Yeah, she sleeps at eight and wakes up at six. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Insane. There's people who average 100%.

That's... People... I'm scrolling. That doesn't make sense, bro. The first 15 people on this list average 100% sleep. Absolutely ridiculous. On top of here, it says Nath. So Nath got it. Well played, Nath. Mm-hmm.

So you man are, you're doing stuff we didn't think were possible. Facts. To have an average of 19.7 strain to me is absurd. To have an average of 96% recovery to me is absurd. And to have an average of 100% sleep. That's the average. Yeah. You live the best life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That means on a good day, you're sleeping way more than you need to. That's a good life. Yeah, yeah. That's a good life.

So yeah, people are taking this serious and I rate it. So thank you guys because you're keeping me on my toes. Facts, facts. Keeping us accountable. You're keeping yourselves accountable. You're keeping everyone else in the community accountable. So I refuse, actually, let me go back on it because I refuse to finish where I finished this week. So 1,000 or whatever. 1,069. Mark my words, won't be the case next week. Okay, so tell me where you are on everything. Right, so I'm 1,069th.

- On strain? - Yeah. - Won't be the case. - Is this for last week or you're doing from today? - This is for last week. - Last week, okay. Let me change it back to last week. So yeah, so strain, you're what? - 1,069th. - I'm 2,740. - That won't be the case next week. - That won't be the case next week as well for me. Recovery? - Ooh, 56th. - 521. I told you my recovery is low. - Damn. - Yeah. - 521. - 56. - Let's get that bitch up. - All right, bet.

I might be lower than that this week. I'm gonna say that's a good one for me. I averaged 81%. Fair. I averaged 65. Damn. Sleep? Sleep? 618th. Average 79%. 738. Average 76%. Average sleep, seven and a half hours. You think that's enough? My average was 650. Fuck. I wasn't sleeping. I wasn't sleeping. Fuck. Fuck.

- I was clapping. But anyway, so that's that for this week. - Yeah, man. - Guys, it's not too late. So we go on a week by week by week basis. If you want to jump in, you will find yourself on that leaderboard. All you need to do is go to join.whoop.com/sng. - Sierra November Golf. - Grab your WHOOP. If you don't like it, it's 30 days risk-free, zero commitment. So shut that back if you don't like it, but you will because we're moving. - We are. - We're moving and grooving. Right.

Let's get back to the ep. Cool, right. I have a who am I today, guys. It's been a minute. Let's go. This one's a short one. I think it's an easy one. So this one is from the perspective of someone who's just committed a crime and they have been interrogated by the police. Okay. And through their interrogation and their confession, I want you to guess who I am.

- So you're just reading out the person as they're confessing the crime. It's not a back and forth conversation? - It's right back and forth, but the police don't really contribute. The police will just ask one liners. - Okay, cool, cool, cool. - It's mostly the dialogue from the perspective of the person I am. - The perp. - Yeah, yeah, the perp. - Say less. - Real quick, yeah? - Cool. Is this again, reading up? - I wrote, as if I would ever forget, I wrote the name of the person I am and I was just about to say it. Jesus.

- Are you reading out the whole thing? Then we guess, or are we hands up stopping you guys? - Sorry, yeah. Read out the whole thing. And then as soon as I'm done, hand up or whatever. - Okay, cool. - Why did you do it? It belongs to me. I said, why did you do it? Because it should have never been him. It should have always been me. We glorify the big and the strong, but what about the smart? What about the tenacious? What about the real leaders? The ones who work in the shadows?

the ones who are truly willing to do what needs to be done despite how they may be viewed. He has the love of the masses up there on his mountain, looking down at us with his beautiful wife and his perfect little boy. But what about me? While he was bathing in glory, I cultivated an entire army in the mud. They worship me because I can bring them true prosperity and respect. They call me king of the giggles.

And it's a title I wear with pride. But why did you have to kill the boy? I didn't. My soldiers did it for me. And they laughed as they did it. Done. Ellis puts his hand up immediately. Go on. The Joker. Oh, no. Sounds a lot like the Joker. Good guess, but no. Because I thought Batman obviously is a son, a rich family. Well played, but no. Fuck.

I think I'm going to need to hear it again, but I'll wait. Yeah? Go, go, go. Right. Do you want me to do the thing where I emphasize the clues? I would rather not. Okay. But it depends on the consensus. Okay, okay, okay, okay. We can do it. Ready? Yeah. Who am I? Why did you do it? It belongs to me. I said, why did you do it? Because it should have never been him. I think I know who it is. Okay. Is it Mufasa?

- Quickly if you had. - Or the other one. - Scar. - Scar. That was the other one, yeah. - I'm not gonna take that point. - Well played, I'll give it to you. Well played, well played, well played. I am Scar. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - 'Cause I remember you doubled down on the word pride and then you were like, why did you do it? Then you're thinking about the son, the dad, why did you do it? He's obviously slapped my mom off the cliff, okay, yeah, yeah, cool. I know I said Mufasa but I meant Scar. - You meant Scar. I knew you meant it. When you said Mufasa I was like,

Correct yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, bear with it. I would have never got to score if you didn't say Mufasa. I'll swear. Okay, cool, cool, yeah. So what I'll do is I'll do what I always do. For those who didn't guess it, I'll go through where the clues were, okay? So why did you do it? It belongs to me. It's just like a cold open. I said, why did you do it? It belongs to me. The kingdom, the bride. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the kingdom belongs to him. This is a paid advertisement for BetterHelp. Roll. Talk to me. Real quick, ask me what my self-care non-negotiables are. What? Grounding. Grounding.

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betterhelp.com slash gigs pod today to get 10% off your first month that's betterhelp h-e-l-p dot com slash gigs pod it should have never been him it should have always been me we glorify the big and the strong obviously Mufasa is big strong and he's the leader of the pride because he is the strongest brother but what about the smart obviously Scar considers himself to be smarter than Mufasa

What about the tenacious? What about the real leaders? The ones who work in the shadows? Obviously he works in the shadows. - With his hyenas. - Yeah, with his hyenas. The ones who are truly willing to do what needs to be done despite how they may be viewed. So obviously in the "Lion King" the hyenas are viewed as like the dirty little rats that live in like the graveyards and all them kind of things.

He has the love of the masses up there on his mountain. Obviously, we know the cliff that we're talking about with his beautiful wife and his perfect little boy, obviously Simba. But what about me? While he's bathing in glory, I cultivated an army in the mud, the hyenas. They worship me because I can bring them true prosperity and respect, which is what he promised them when he died.

killed Mufasa and then told them that they were going to be taken over the pride or pride rock or whatever they call it because they'd never had respect before they call me king of the giggles and I wear the title of pride why did you kill the boy I didn't my soldiers did it for me and they laughed as they did it so obviously he didn't know that they didn't actually kill Simba but he sent the hyenas to go and kill Simba and they said that they did

- Cool. - Yeah. - And that was it, well played. - Safe. - Well played, bro. - Well played, well played, well played, well played, well played. - I was locked in that one. - Well played. - Yeah, man. - I was gonna give more clues and I'm glad I didn't. - Yeah, that's why I said I don't want you to like accentuate those clue words. - Cool. - So like, let me just try and guess it. But yeah, sick, that was a good one. Good writing as well, very good writing. - Thank you. Right, I have a dilemma. - Nice. - So, from our favorite ghost writers, another one. - Yeah. - This one, when I tell you, made me laugh. - Okay.

I was in the car pissing myself. - Okay. - Right. So dilemma, yeah? My boyfriend's baby mama called my child a moon faced menace. - Okay. - And I promised- - Boyfriend's baby mom? - My boyfriend's baby mama called my child. So she's baby mama number two. Baby mama number one called her child a moon faced menace. And I promised that I'd jump her ass on sight. - Yeah.

I caught her dropping off their baby and I jumped out the car to fight her. Bro. But my four-year-old accidentally put the car in drive and I was pinned between my car and her parked car. My hip was crushed. I had a replacement hip. I had a hip replacement and I wear a lower body brace. I can't have sex and I have a severe limp. My boyfriend says my hip and body brace disturb him. So he says he'll sleep with his baby mama, but it's just sex.

Also, he says he cares about me and will be there when my leg and hip gets stronger. I don't understand what our rule of engagement is. Is he saying he's going to love me from a distance while he sleeps with her? Is she just a sex substitute for me? Or is she someone I should worry about? I won't stand for another man to play in my face. Advice. He's all three. He's all three of them drawings you just mentioned.

Bro, that's karma as well you you got the car to be square us cuz she said your child is a moon-faced menace And now you're that same child has crushed you. Yeah, bro moon face is insane moon face. Yeah, I didn't know what it means just round Literally round a flat flat and round one of them for creators. Yeah, that's P She pulled up to square up and got a hip crushed. Oh

And her husband said- - It disturbs me. - It disturbs me. - He said, "Baby, I'm not gonna lie, this whole bracelet and the loop and the hip replacement is disturbing to me." - I'm asleep with bae number one, but it's just sex. - Just so you know, I'm keeping it in the family. - It's just sex. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You already know about her. So I'm not really dipping back into her cycle. - I'm not catching bodies. - Exactly. - I'm just keeping it in the confinement of our year. She's already held you. - Exactly. - Yeah, it's fine. - It's not new. - It's nothing new. She's down, I'm down. Until this gets so,

Sorted. Yeah, because this is yucky. Pattern that and then you can pattern this. I guess so. What's our rule of engagement? That's hilarious.

Wow. Fucking hell. Funny, funny, funny, funny. Okay, cool. So, Trash News, Rem? UK is officially the world's second most miserable country. It's fucking miserable, though. It really is. It is, it is. So, yeah. Unhappiest. Uzbekistan. Uzbekistan. We are second. South Africa's third. Fourth is Brazil. Fifth is Tajikistan. Sixth, Australia. Seventh, Egypt. Eighth, Ireland.

Ninth, Iraq. Tenth, Yemen. Happiest, Dominican Republic. Second. - Might have to pop there. - Fam is literally what I was thinking. DR might have to see me. - Might have to pop there. - They're the happiest in the world. - Might have to pop there. Look what island. - Yeah, say that. - DR were coming. - Yeah. - Sri Lanka second. Tanzania third. Panama fourth.

Malaysia, fifth. Nigeria, sixth. Come on. Venezuela, seventh. El Salvador, eighth. Ninth, Costa Rica. Tenth, Uruguay. It sounds like... South America's where it's at. South America's where it's at. You took the fucking words, bro. It sounds like South America's where the party's at. Wow. All of these happy, happy people. It's where it's at. Yeah. Might have to see that as well. Yeah. Yeah. I remember when...

When I saw a clip of, I don't know if it was on his pod or whatever, Philly said, it's during carnival in Brazil, eye contacting. If you do an eye contacting for a certain amount of time, the lips is free game. - Cool. - It's customary, he said. - Customary? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And these men are full of unhappy. - Yeah, yeah, fam, it's customary to hold her lips. But yeah, for some reason, Brazil, I think is, Brazil, they've got favelas in that bitch. And I also think the expectation is too high.

- Expectation in what sense? - I don't know. Maybe just people just perceive it to be something it's not. All these undercover Venezuela, El Salvador, Costa Rica, Uruguay, all these other ones, they ain't got the same pressure as Brazil. Everyone is supposed to go to Brazil and turn the fuck up. - Same with Australia. I'm surprised that's on there. I'm surprised that's on there. - They've got sun and surf. - Exactly. - I thought them man were gassed. - So I was gonna go into the company who did the study after you had your first thoughts on that.

So it was a company, so a company called Sapien Labs did the study and it was, their executive summary was, "The Mental State of the World report is the annual report of the Global Mind Project and provides trends and insights on the mental wellbeing of internet enabled populations around the globe. In 2023, we collected data from over 500,000 respondents in 13 languages across 71 countries that spanned nine regions."

The data is collected using the MHQ assessment, a comprehensive online survey of cognitive and emotional capabilities that provides an overall mental well-being metric. MHQ score as well as multiple dimensional views that relate to the ability to navigate the normal stresses of life and function productively. The key insights, three main key insights to the study found

where the mental well-being remained at its post-pandemic low with yet again no sign of improvement towards pre-pandemic levels. So in 2023, at both global level and the level of the individual countries, MHQ scores remained largely unchanged relative to 2021 and 2022 after the sharp drop during the pandemic years.

raises questions about lasting impacts of the pandemic of course and shifts the way we live and work and the amplification of existing habits which is remote working online communication consumption of ultra processed food and the use of single-use plastics

They have cumulatively pushed us into a space of poorer mental wellbeing. The second point was that younger generations, particularly those under 35, saw the steepest declines in mental wellbeing during the COVID-19 pandemic, whilst those over 65 stayed steady. With these declines persisting across all age groups, the pandemic amplified a preexisting trend in poorer mental wellbeing for younger generations that is now visible across the globe.

This was the... This third point, the most interesting one for myself anyways.

As in previous years, several African and Latin American countries top the country rankings whilst wealthier countries of the core Anglosphere such as UK and Australia are towards the bottom. This pattern suggests the greater wealth and economic development do not necessarily lead to a greater mental well-being. In 2023, data from the Global Mind Project identified key factors that explain these patterns such as getting a smartphone

at a young age, frequently eating ultra processed food and a fraying of friendships and family relationships that are typically more prevalent in internet enabled populations of wealthier countries. - So the internet's just murking us. - The internet is killing us. - Interesting. I also think, I'm surprised Brazil isn't part of the happiest ones considering the fact that I wanna say, I also feel like it's somewhat

Nigeria, for example, like it has like 280 million people in that country or whatever. And the disparity between rich and poor is so clear. But the poor don't, the poor people or like the not well off are, they're not actively searching to be rich. They're somewhat content because this is all they know. Do you see what I'm saying? So their level of happiness may not be the happiest of a rich person, but they're still fucking happy with what they have and

what they've had to survive with. So that's why I was surprised that Brazil wasn't in there as well. But I understand your expectation point where you said, if you think Brazil, you're thinking carnival, you're thinking Rio, but Brazil is fucking massive. It's got one of the biggest populations. Brazil is like the sixth biggest country in the world. Sixth biggest population in the world. So it makes more sense that

A lot of people are just thinking of Brazil and just thinking Rio, thinking like all these popular places, you know, but it's massive and you don't really consider everything else and everybody else's happiness. But yeah, I hear that completely. - That's weak. So what would we say? DR? - DR bro. - Their economy is going to get murked now. Everyone's going over there to get happy. - Yeah, boy.

- Sri Lanka as well. - Sri Lanka, yeah. - Say less. - Thailand, zoom in a little bit. Sorry, I can't see. - Tanzania. - Tanzania third. - I heard Tanzania's quite nice. - I've heard it's very nice. - You might think I'm playing. - I definitely don't think you're playing. - I'm bopping there. - Yeah, we're going to DR. - To be fair, I've been to DR. - Spot on it? - Yes. - Pinky? - Yes. - Twist? Kiss? - You love to take it too far. - Would you ever do that? Pinky and a kiss?

- What do you mean, would I ever do that? - If I was like, can we please have this as our new thing? - I'd do it with like a you, like my child. - No, with me. - I don't think so, no. - Do you know what to do? - I don't know what you're talking about, brother. - All right, so we would have to go opposite hands. So we'd have to be closer to each other. - Okay. - And then we would pinky. - Yeah. - And then we would put the thumbies in our mouths and we kiss the tip of the thumb. We just kiss the tip. - What does this symbolize? - Friendship. - Friendship.

- What is this like a primary school tip? - No breaking promises. - Is it a primary school tip? I don't know what it is. - Where'd you learn this? - I don't remember. - Doesn't matter. - Yeah, it doesn't matter. Are you kissing a tip or not? - No, because what will happen is I'll entertain this. I will kiss the tip and he will suck his thumb. And he will look in my eyes. That's exactly what will happen. - You'll kiss the tip, I won't move and I'll go like that again. - I couldn't gag on my own thumb in my own studio.

- I promise you Ananya, that video has never seen the day of light Ananya. It's never gonna see the day of light.

- That's funny. - Oh, that's so jokes. - Oh, good. - All right, Bet. Girl code? - Jesus Christ, girl code indeed. - Oh, that's funny. - Right guys, like we said before, we had a thread at the beginning of the episode, we got a thread at the end and this one is to wrap it up. Worst ways someone has broken girl code. Okay, cool. This one was more treacherous. I've got quite a few. - It really was. - Treacherous. - Yeah, across the board, it really, really was. - Yeah, facts. So worst ways someone has broken girl code.

She fucked her sister's fiance whilst the sister had leukemia. - Leukemia? - Yeah, that's just entry level. - Cancer of the blood? - Huh. - Berese. - Okay, cool. - Berese. - Cool, cool, cool. One thing before we continue, one thing I learned about this girl coating is that the running theme is it like, it has to be him. Not like him, not him adjacent. It needs to be him. - I don't care what it takes or what it costs.

Yeah, it has to be him. Insane. Right. This one is actually just a little funny one. So what's the worst way you've seen like girl called broken or whatever? Someone tweeted, exchanging punches with a fellow girl over a five inch dick. Then a guy replied and said, I heard it feels like 10 inches when you're in love. She said they were playing. They were playing. They're playing. Oh, that's a low blow.

I heard it feels like 10 inches when you're in love. That's a low blow. That's a joke. They lie to you. Yeah, wake up. That's a joke. They lie to you. 10 inches feels like 10 and 5 feels like 5. Facts. Love or no love. The metrics don't lie. Yeah, it's just if they chat or not. They were playing. Yeah, the metrics don't lie. All right. Back when MSN was a thing, I was chatting with a boy and my sister logged into my account, stole the boy's email and started chatting to him. They dated for two years. Fucking hell. Two years? Yeah.

That the first few months must have been rough. - Of course. - Because it's also shows the amount of goal and audacity the sister has to still come back to the same yard knowing that this is the guy I fancied and you done know I fancied him 'cause I've been telling you. - Yeah, you stole him. - You stole him from him. You just casually- - Bought him to the yard. - Bought him to the yard and parading him. - Yeah, nah, it's out of order, right.

My best friend asked for my boyfriend's number to check if he was a good guy for me and then became his side chick because he was also a good guy for her. I'm telling you. Yeah. It's all I'm hearing from these type of girl codes being broken is that women are treacherous and men are weak.

- Weak. - Those are the two- - Weak. - Concurrent themes. - Weak. - Because the sister fucking the fiance when the sister had leukemia is bonkers. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not a shred of dignity. - Is bonk, how weak are you? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not a shred, bro.

- Fuck man. - Yeah, it's not shred bro. Weak as of the week. My girl said, let me check if he's a good guy. I don't believe he's as good as you're saying. Give me his number, I'm gonna move to him, see what he says. She moves to me, moved back, and she said, rah. - I'm the side as well now. - Yeah, this nigga's spitting game. Yeah, let me see that. - That first giggle would have sent her. - Yeah, yeah, she said, "Mm-hmm." - Oh, he's here. - Yeah, yeah, he's here. - He's here, he's here. - I've already started, I might as well finish. - The fags. - Yeah, I've already started. Let me take it all the way. - Yeah, yeah, let me know if he actually would fuck me.

And I can only know him once he does. Became his side chick. - Wow, okay, cool. Your turn. - Worst way someone has broken girl code. My best friend at the time, scissored my step-mom. They have a 46 year age gap. - Oh my God. - Yes, I'm in therapy now. - 46 years, scissor? - Scissored my step-mom. - Specifically, not even slept with, scissored. That's exhausting. My best friend told my landlady to kick me out because I've just lost my job.

Damn. So you want to make me homeless? Yeah, you want me... Yeah, you want to take everything from me. Just this yard is not patterning and I like your yard. Do you think that's worse than a boyfriend thing? Getting me kids at my house? Yeah. Yeah.

- Because. - Yeah. - That's evil. - 100% because you're also, once this all happens, you're not expecting my landlady to tell me wagwan. You're expecting her to kick me out and you want this friendship to continue. You're gonna move into my yard and you orchestrate the whole dance. - And you're trying to console me and then invite me back to my previous yard. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. At least I kept it between us. - Imagine. - So once you're back on your feet, we can discuss. - Yeah, we can discuss, son. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But I'm the lead tenant.

Going forward, I'm the lead tenant. You do as I say. Fuck. You're a guest. I don't ever forget that. Oh, fuck. That's so funny. I'm the lead tenant. Oh, God. Me and my ex fell asleep at her house. When I woke up in the middle of the night, I saw them sleeping in her bed together. I asked what was going on, and she said, it's not like that. I just feel better when someone sleeps in my bed with me. Donnie didn't give a single fuck.

- Donny said, "Tom is Tom is Tom is Tom." - Wow. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's not even like that babe. I just like sleeping in bed with someone. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the thing is as well, speaking of men are weak, I hate that I can visualize what happened. Because, you know what I'm saying, innit? She snuck downstairs in her skimpy skims while he's asleep next to the love of his life. And she was like, "Derek."

Derek. He's like, yeah. What's up? She was like, I'm sorry. Can you come sleep in my bed? She's got that. She's got a silting of teeth. Yeah. Nipples are crazy. Yeah. She was like, can you come sleep in my bed? He's like, what? Yeah. Yeah. You're so big. She's asleep. It's fine. She won't know. She's a heavy sleeper. Just come upstairs, sleep in my bed. Don't make a noise. Yeah. Whatever you do, don't make her up. Yeah. We have to be quiet. Yeah. We're going to have to be quiet.

Yeah he lost his mind He lost his mind He started seeing stuff Yeah yeah yeah His imagination went crazy In fact mine is going crazy The weakness Fucking hell Yeah bro Disgusting behaviour Fucking hell Alright go go go She slept with my brother Even though she made me promise Not to even look at hers Damn

Again, territory, you don't cross these boundaries. Yeah, bro, yeah, you really don't. This one I save best for last. This one is exactly the statement you made about just the betrayal and the weakness. Okay. This one is my piece de resistance. Okay. My friend told my boyfriend that she taught me how to suck dick. Say that whole line again. My friend told my boyfriend that she had taught me how to suck dick. So he should be thankful.

Then proceeded to show him she can do it better. Weak, bro. Weak, bro. You know what I taught Shanice how to gawk that? How to gawk that? Yeah. I said, what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She didn't know. I taught her everything she knows. Yeah, but I didn't tell her everything I know. I taught her everything she knows. I didn't tell her everything I know. I didn't tell her all the secrets. Yeah. I didn't tell her all the secrets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I said, stop. Yeah. Stop. Stop.

That's my girlfriend! Stop! We're weak. Yeah, pathetic bro. Don't say "we" because I'm not included. We're weak. As an embodiment of a race, we're weak. Jesus Christ.

proceeded to show him how she could do it better. - That's crazy. - Hey. - Hey, girl code is a disgusting kettle of fish. Guy code is a disgusting kettle of fish. Yeah. - Just wake up. Don't cross the boundary. Don't cross the territory. - Guy code is important though, man. The one that guy code one that's struck me is obviously who's putting sex tape in the group chat. But if you are, screen recording and send it to my girl. - How long have you been thinking about this motive?

How long have you been waiting for the opportunity? How long? Yeah. Because I didn't give you, I didn't say I'm putting, I'm dropping this in the chat in two weeks time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I said, you man, wake up. Look at this. Look, you need to see this. And I said, thank God. I've been waiting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just pull that control center down.

- Three, two, one. - I've got it. I've got it. It's that evil laugh. There's fire in the background. Glasses on. - Wow. Jesus Christ. - Oh my God. - Yeah, horrible, horrible stuff.

Anyway, guys, we're gonna charge it there. - Yes, sir. - Thank you very much for today. - Indeed. - This was good, this was juicy. As always, guys, head on over to patreon.com/shitsandgigs. It's gonna cost you three pound a month. - 10p a day. - Run the pizza S and G and indulge in four years worth of bonus content, indulge in our brand new log cabin show. If you're watching on YouTube, please subscribe. If you're listening on any audio platform, please, please, please leave a nice review. And yeah, love, love, love.

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