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Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. Recently, I asked Mint Mobile's legal team if big wireless companies are allowed to raise prices due to inflation. They said yes. And then when I asked if raising prices technically violates those onerous two-year contracts, they said, what the f*** are you talking about, you insane Hollywood a**hole?
So to recap, we're cutting the price of Mint Unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. $45 upfront payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three month plan only. Taxes and fees extra. Speeds lower above 40 gigabytes. See details. Some ACS confessions though. This is actually, this is not actually ACS confessions. It's SA confessions. So it's confessions from South Africa. Oh dear. Someone sent this to me time ago to have a look at their page.
And yeah, there's some funny shit on there, bro. South African confessions. Yeah, some funny shit on there. So, here we go. I watched porn just to see what other women's vaginas look like because I'm very insecure about mine. That's sad. That's an embarrassing bodies thing. Do you remember that show? Yes, I do. Weird show, bro. But I was hooked, but it was weird. Oh, I loved it. It was very weird. I was hooked, but it was very weird. I think it was...
At my age, it was like, what am I looking at? Do you know what I mean? Yes. Why is this on terrestrial TV? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This should have been on like a pin number type channel, you know? We have to type in a sky pin to watch it. That's what, I was surprised it was on channel four. Oh my God. It rattled me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway. Fucking hell. I've been making rap songs for a while now, but never told any of my family or friends because I was scared of being made fun of because I was still learning.
Anyways, I finally made a song I thought was pretty fire. I was driving in the car with my mates and decided to play the song to see their reaction without them knowing it was me. Well, they said it was probably the worst song they've ever heard and then also disconnected me from the orcs after I played it. I sat in pain for the rest of the ride. Ha!
Wow. Oh, fuck. Imagine. I can never imagine. I wouldn't know if I've made music. I would know if it's trash. Yes. Do you know what I mean? But people really, really don't have that level. Like that is my, this is like a bit of a sidetrack, but that is one of my main, like, how do I explain it? I literally think it is a secret to success because in terms of like, say for us, for example, like,
I would never be under any illusion that this is something we could do when we're actually really bad at it. Like...
I feel like I'm self-critical enough to understand when I can do, when I'm good at something and when I'm not. And like, so any endeavor that I would ever take up in my life, I already know if I'm going to be good at it or not. Yeah. I don't ever see a situation where I genuinely think I'm good at something and someone has to sit me down and be like, bro, this is shit. Like you've chosen the wrong career path. You're terrible at this.
I just don't see that ever happen. Yeah, I know what you mean. I know exactly what you mean. That couldn't be me, mum. Fuck. That couldn't be me. But bless him. Yeah, poor team. Really want to get my nipple piercings, but so afraid that one day when I have kids, my breast milk will come out my tit like a sprinkler. That's facts, to be fair. Oh, that's wild. Gross. That is wild. That is wild.
Before I swipe right on a guy on Tinder, I think about how I would sound moaning his name. And if it doesn't sound hot, I swipe left. That's fair. In South Africa, just bang ube. Dentings. I bet that's a big deal. It's a deal breaker. It would be a deal breaker.
Oh my days. My boyfriend is amazing, but my weed dealer and I have such sexual tension that I can't ignore. I definitely want to try him once and then pretend like nothing happened. Oh my God. Try him once. I want to try him. Ooh, that's buff to be fair. That is buff lingo. Me and my weed dealer have sexual tension. Buff lingo. Shit. I'm having my ex's baby and he has no idea. Enjoy that party life because soon he'll be changing nappies.
People are cruel. The worst. Cruel. The worst. Cruel. That's just not on. It's just not on. Going to see my ex tomorrow to fetch my aux cable I left at hers. I think we all know I'm absolutely going to rail her for the last time. Fair enough. Aux cable. Fucking hell. This one reminds me of Euphoria. I'm going to give a pro tip to the fellas based on my experience.
The bigger the daddy issues, the more fire the coochie. You know, if she hates her dad, you're in for the best rounds of your life. That's Cassie. That is Cassie. That's Cassie. She's got terrible daddy issues. And she's got terrific teeth. The whole show is based around her tits. It's actually crazy. The whole production is centered around Cassie's tits. It's mad. When Sam Levinson was writing this show, he was like, I need someone with teeth.
She's got ridiculous tits. They're perfect. James, they're perfect. People reference them all the time. They're perfect. It doesn't make sense. Fuck me. Oh, yeah. It literally doesn't make sense. And the thing is, her face isn't even that nice. It's not. But she's not ugly. She's not ugly. She's not ugly. But her face is not great. Yeah. But the tits make her face look amazing.
It's true. It's actually true. She's got a body audio. Oh, God. It's insane. Anyway. Sorry, random. Yeah, go on. Near the end of the season one in the prom episode. Prom episode. When Nate was squeezing cheeks. Yes. On his date. He was squeezing. To try and make Maddie jealous. She had her whole ass out. He was squeezing bare cheeks. Oh, my God.
He still left her for Maddie. Left her for Maddie. Maddie wins every time. Oh, every time. The toxic relationship is annoying, but it's sexy. Honestly, the relationship between Nate and Maddie gives me sleepless nights because it turns me on. It's the sexiest thing. It's so toxic. It's so sexy. But I love it. It's unbearably sexy. Maddie's face to me is the epitome of sex.
She oozes sex appeal. She actually does. She oozes sex appeal. It's nuts. She could never have Cassie Steeves. It will be game, set, match. 100%. Game, set, match. 100%. Nate wouldn't even look at Cassie. He wouldn't look at anyone. Guy or girl. He wouldn't look at anyone. Fucking hell. Oh man, it's a good show.
um all right i've been fucking this guy recently who has a tattoo sleeve and didn't think much of it last night we had sex and i noticed a woman's face on the inside of his bicep turns out i was looking at his mother's eyes whilst getting railed by him biggest ick ever god imagine i would never because you just yawn now as well i would never allow myself to sneeze or yawn in a toilet because i'm afraid of poop particles and getting inside my mouth
that's disgusting but did you know that's a fact though yeah i saw it on good morning or this morning or whatever it is if you flush with the lid open the lid open shit particles everywhere that makes me feel sick every fam ever since i heard that i'm closing it down always yeah always i don't i leave it open on purpose i want to pollute the whole whole yard your toothbrush merks with shit particles okay that's disgusting that's what i'm saying it's disgusting that's yeah uh yeah that's gross
That's the first thing I thought of when I realised what it did. I was like, my fucking toothbrush? Closing it ever since. Nah, brother. Fucking toothbrush? Nah. Nah. You're playing. You are playing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking hell. That is great.
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ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Are you ready for some hoops off? Are you ready for some hoops off? This is legitimately what you see people do right before they're going to fight. They take off their hoops, their earrings, because they don't want to get them ripped out of their ear. And they get ready for battle.
Hey, I'm Liz. And I'm Karen. And you're listening to Hoops Off from Luminary. On this show, we take our hoops off to bring you the spiciest, the saltiest takes on each week's games. We'll also be reading books by our favorite players, reviewing Shaq-sponsored products. And of course, we'll be bringing the tea. Should I, should I prepare the hot water? Oh, you better prepare the hot water. Please make sure to follow the show on your favorite podcast listening platform.
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