Winter Blanco: Behind the Likes
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butthole marinating, just piddle juice pouring from all the holes. You guys already know that Lume is my go-to. Lume's starter pack is perfection for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, two free products of your choice like mini body wash and deodorant wipes, and free shipping. Again, as a special offer for listeners, new customers get 15% off all

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at mintmobile.com slash bunny. $45 upfront payment required, equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speeds slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. Hey guys, I need to ask you a question.

I wanna know why in the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the Bunny XO Show, we have Meet the D-Fords, we have Popaganda, we have a cooking show that's coming, we have more shows that we're adding.

And not to mention, we have the visuals of the podcast. Not only that, we have four tiers that caters to everybody's budget and everybody gets the podcast. There's no more excuses. Stop listening right now and head over to www.patreon.com backslash dumb blonde podcast and sign up. Stop missing out. We have built a huge community over there, guys. I'm talking about hundreds of thousands of people over there. We even have...

Live chats, live chats that I actually am talking in every single night. I'm in there just confessing all of my sins to you guys. I mean, it's, it gets a little ridiculous. Last but not least, we give away gifts every fricking month. I'm talking like signed stuff from Jay and I lives. You just never know what kind of surprise you're going to get. It's like a crackerjack box. I love the community that we've built over there at Patreon. If you are already a Patreon member,

I freaking love you, dude. Thank you so much. From my sideshow tier to the carnival tier to the ringleader tier to the main attraction, you guys are my babies for life, my writers. If I could, I would literally make out with each and every one of you. I love you guys so much. And that's a lot of kisses, actually. Gotta go, bye.

Is this thing on? Bonnie, who used to be a former sex worker, now hosts the podcast Dumb Blonde. Most little girls grow up wanting to be doctors and lawyers and shit. And I was like, I want to be super hot, make a lot of fucking money and be a rock star's wife. That was my goal as a child. And here we are. What's up, you sexy motherfuckers? Welcome to another episode of Dumb Blonde. Today, I got my girl Winter Blanco in the house, baby.

Thank you for having me. Dude, I feel like this has been a long time coming. Yeah, I do too. Like, I'm so excited to have you here. Me too. I love how outspoken you are online because it reminds me of myself. Okay, so you've seen me. Oh yeah, do too much online. But is it too much or are you just, you know, kind of standing up for yourself and defending yourself? Definitely I say standing up for myself. Absolutely, me too. I will fight bullies all day long. Oh, me too. 100%. Don't start none, won't be none. Period. Okay.

So I'm glad I got you in the hot seat because I was watching one of your podcasts last night because you have a podcast called Behind the Likes. Yes. And I was watching an episode where you were actually...

You know, talking about a lot of stuff from your childhood. And it just kind of intrigued me because I don't get to hear a lot. You talking a lot about your childhood when you do talk about it, you kind of pass over it like this is what happened. I had to overcome this. I had to survive this. But you never go into like detail. And I kind of want to just continue.

take a trip down memory lane with you. Is that okay? Yes. Also, we have her co-host Chai Fontenette here and she's going to join us in a little bit once we get past Winter's Childhood. So where'd you grow up? I'm from the Bay Area and I moved to LA when I was like 17. So I've lived out here for

I'm 19 now. So two years. No, I'm just kidding. Yeah. And I've lived here for like 10, 11 years. Gotcha. So you grew up in a single mom household, correct? Yes. I did see a picture of your dad because, you know, your ethnicity is always under question. And we'll get into that later online. And dad's pretty hot. No.

No? Did I not see the right picture? Ew. People do say that to me. I was like, for a dad. Right, it's your dad. Yeah. I mean...

- So you were raised in a single mom household. Was dad never present in your life or? - So my dad is British and my dad was deported from America when I was like, I don't know, a young thing. I don't remember what age I was, but he was deported from America and then he ended up going to jail. When I was younger, I used to think he got deported from America and went to jail immediately, but I guess he got deported from America and then went to prison for like 20 years in England.

Oh, my goodness. So he's deported. He's never allowed to come back to America. Like, I can't have him one day come out here. Right. Like, never could visit him in prison. Like, blah, blah, blah. So, yeah, my mom raised me. What did he go to prison for? My dad went to prison for sexual assault. Hmm. Mm-hmm. So...

Yeah, a lot of people don't know that. I did open up and talk about it in my book. I've written two books, When I See I Was Right, the second is You Should Have Listened. So I did open up about that in my first book. So some people do know it. I don't really talk about it all the time just because it's like it makes people uncomfortable. Absolutely. And it's just like one of those things like if you bring up like, oh, my parent, like if my parent died and then everybody's like, oh, awkward, like I'm so sorry, like or, you know, like so.

I don't really talk about it that much, but yeah, that's what happened. It's not your fault though that your dad chose that path. So I don't ever want you to feel like you have to take that on like that, you know? Yeah. What he, what he did was what he did and that's not a reflection of you.

Yeah, no, I 100% know that. I just think that the internet is just so weird. They're fucking assholes. Yeah, the internet is just so weird. And then like, you know, people are so obsessed with like, as you said, like my ethnicity and stuff. So like they kind of make me have to like claim my father. And I'm like, I don't even want to claim him to begin with. Like, you know, so. Understandably. And I hope maybe, you know, you talking about it on this podcast will make people see like,

you gotta stop forcing people to claim parents that they don't even have a relationship with. - Right, I definitely think so. People do too much. - So growing up with your mom, what was life like growing up with mama? - Growing up with my mom was, I love my mother to death now. We've definitely come a long way, I will say that. But growing up with my mother was just like,

terrible. Like it was, I grew up in a very violent, angry household. I did not grow up

in a loving affectionate home. My mother literally told me, I can remember the first time I remember my mom telling me that she loved me was the day my grandma died. And I think that was like 2013 or something. How old were you? I don't remember. I was probably like 17 or 18. I don't remember exactly, but I do remember like that was when me and my mom started being like, I love you. Like, you know, when you hang up the phone, you're like, okay, I love you. Like that type of thing. So we never had that relationship. And I just, you know,

I don't know. My mom was young when she had me. She was only 21 when I was born. And like when I was younger, I used to think like that's grown. But like now that I'm 30 years old and I look back and I'm like, okay, you were actually like a 21 year old kid with your own set of trauma from your parents. Like, you know, having to deal with like being a single mom. And like I was no easy kid to deal with. Like I was terrible. Like I was really bad. I probably had like my own issues like dealing with like my father not being there. But you're a product of your environment.

Yeah. I grew up in an extremely abusive household, too. My stepmother was so abusive. She used to put my head through doors like it was crazy. And I was an extremely fucking rebellious child. Yeah. And that's because you're you're raised in that environment. You don't know any different. So, of course, you're going to automatically want to rebel. Yeah, for sure. I mean, yeah, I don't know. I just I've always been that way. I've always been like very like.

I've been very hard-headed. I've been very bulimitaris. Like, I don't know if that has anything to do with it, but like I would definitely give my mother hell and like looking back, like I understand now, like she was just trying to deal with a freaking crazy ass kid. Was your mom the one that was abusive to you? My mom. Okay. So my mom, like, I'm not going to sit here and just be like, my mom would just like beat on me. Like she wasn't like that, like when I was a kid, but like my mom just, it was like living in a house with your enemy.

Like that's like the best way that I could describe it. Like living in a house with your enemy, we're always arguing. We just hated each other. Me and my mom 100% hated each other. We did not love each other. Like...

That's the worst, having to grow up walking on eggshells. And any sort of emotional abuse is, I think, 10 times worse than physical abuse. There gets to a point when you're in an abusive relationship, you're like, just fucking hit me instead of playing these fucking games with me. And it can be like that with a parent, too. Yeah, I think that with me, it just always kind of felt like my mom was never on my side. That's a big thing that we even go through to this day. Because if I go through something, say it's online or something, and my mom is like,

well, you did this or like, well, you need to think about, I'll be like, why can't you just ever have my fucking back? Like you never have my back. Like I would get in trouble in school and my mom wouldn't have my back. I would, you know, go through stuff with friends and my mom would have my friends back. Like, cause my mom just hated me. She was an enemy. She was like literally an op. Did you, did you think maybe she was jealous of you?

I don't think my mom was jealous. No, my mom wasn't jealous of me. I definitely had some aunties in my life that were jealous of me, but my mom was never jealous of me. I think that, I don't know why my mom hated me. She hated me and I hated her too. So I can't really just like, you know, put your finger on it. I can't put my finger on it, but I was pretty fucking terrible. And like, if I was 21 and I had this crazy ass kid who had her own set of problems on top of me being a kid, like,

I don't think I would be able to deal with it. So, yeah. So growing up in that environment, how did you do in school and stuff like that? Did you, what was your escape? My escape? I don't really think I had an escape. When I was growing up in school, I was bad in school. Like I was the same. Yeah. Like I didn't listen. Like I didn't want to follow rules. That was always what, you know, teachers would say is she doesn't listen to anything we say. And I was just very like disobedient, like a hundred percent disobedient.

couldn't tell me nothing so to this day I just want to do what I want to do and also like I always say I was a rebel without a cause and that sounds like you too yeah like I just I hated school I hated being told what to do I would skip school I wouldn't go I didn't even graduate high school I was like this is not for me I feel like everybody's dumb I'm smart like I'll figure it out like that was just like my mindset so right I wasn't good in school

So how long did you live at home for? Did you live at home until you were 18 or did you leave early? So when I was growing up, keep in mind, I write about all these like in-depth stories like in my book. So it's like funny because like I don't really talk about it. But I can tell it's making you really uncomfortable to have to talk about it. I'm not uncomfortable to talk about it. It's just so like, I don't know, it's just weird because I'm just like this different person now. Like I'm just like this grown woman. And then I like think back to like this person who technically I am, but like I don't like

100% feel like it's your testimony, though. And I think that a lot of girls that look up to you, of course, you know, 100% read her books. But I think it's good for girls online who look up to you to be able to watch this podcast and, you know, listen to how far you've come, you know? Yeah. So...

- Yeah, I don't really talk about it often. A lot of people actually see me online and they're like, "This silver spoon, fat ass bitch." And I'm just like, "You literally have no idea." But no, for your question, I wasn't always living with my mom. My mom would kick me out all the time. My mom would, her thing was she would kick me out and turn my phone off. So I would have to just be out there stranded in the world. So I would bounce from friends' houses, cousins' houses, say with my aunts. - At all ages?

I probably, I don't know when this started. I mean, I don't know, maybe like 13, 14. I don't know. But for a long time and I wouldn't like...

necessarily have one place to just be like I live here like I know that I probably could go back to like be with my mom and like live with my mom but it was like it was hell it was literally like hell living with my mother so I left home at 14 I never went back yeah I would rather sleep on the floor of somebody's house or have nowhere to go for the night then go live with my mom so like I definitely had to go through you know those growing pains I got my first job

when I was, I think I was 16 and it was at Hooters. And then I got fired from Hooters and I became a stripper at 17.

Your first job was Hooters? Yep. Mine was Fatburger. We had two different goals. I had to take the freaking train to San Francisco and I was like, I'm going to get a job. Like, I'm going to just try to get a job. Got hired. They hated me. I had red hair piercings and tattoos. I was a little ass girl. I thought I was grown and I couldn't even work on the floor at Hooters. I had to work in the front, like just letting people come in because I was too young. Yeah.

And then I got fired from that. And like this girl was just like, well, we're in the city like, you know, there's strip clubs down the street. And I was like, OK, in my mind, I'm like, I'm too young for that. But let me go forge up some documents.

so i like forged up my id forged a fake social and how old were you 16 i was 17 17. yeah so that i had found this freaking i had this crackhead auntie who's to steal people's stuff and she had this i had like went through her stuff one day and i found this idea of this girl who looked like me and the girl was like 21 so i was like oh i'm about to use this id like whatever

And I, um, I forged up like a fake social, um, I had like photocopied it, had my friend photocopy and like adjust it or for, for it to match the ID name. And then they just let me start working. That is wild. Yeah. That you're 17. Cause I went when I was 18 and I couldn't, I had fucking ran out of the club. I farted on somebody and fucking,

I had bubble guts. It was scary. Some dude asked me to kick him in the nuts for like 700 bucks. Now I would do it. No fucking problem. But if I can back then I was like, Oh my God. And fucking ran out of the club. Girl, what was your first night in the club? Like it was cool. I mean, it was cool. Um, I remember I got tipped $20 on stage and I was like, Oh my God, I'm making so much fucking money. Like I was broke as hell. Like I didn't have anything. Like I literally had nothing. And at the time I was sleeping on the couch, um,

of like a family friend's grandma like with like two other people in the same living room so I was just like wow like this is crazy like I could actually make money doing this and then

I had a customer want to get like a VIP dance and I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. I don't know what the hell I was like, you know, like I didn't know nothing. So I'm like, did you have a friend to help you or you were just in there figuring it out? I was just figuring it out. I was green in the club. Yeah. I think that I had like an older girl kind of was like, I think I was like, Oh, like this is my first day, blah, blah, blah. And she was like telling me a couple little things. Um, but yeah,

I like I didn't know her beforehand. Like she kind of just looked out for me a little bit in there and like kind of like gave me a little bit of free game. And I'd like had this dance with this guy and he tried to like pull his dick out and

underneath his shirt and I smacked him in the face like with my box because like they gave us these metal money boxes and I smacked him in the face and I was like fuck this like this is weird as fuck but it was like 200 bucks so I was like well I got to keep the money I didn't have to like keep doing this long ass dance because it was like 30 minutes or something for like $200 or some crazy shit I used to hate when they would wear the windbreakers what what did they like the windbreaker pants so the dudes because when you do that

When you would do lap dances, they could, like, feel everything. I would hate doing dances for guys with fucking windbreakers. Yeah, literally even when I think back to, like, my life and, like, I had to entertain these freaking weirdos in the strip club. Like, I'm just, like, ugh. Like, oh, my God. How long did you dance for? I danced until I was...

Really until I was 21. I had like went through hella shit and then I had met a boyfriend who was like rich as fuck and he was like, I don't want you dancing anymore. But I had like, you know, my money started dwindling away because like I'm not dancing. That's the only way I know how to really make money. This is like years later after I started and I would go sneak out of his house, go to the strip club, sneak back in. And then the last time I ever did it, his homeboy was in the strip club and I was like, please don't tell him like I won't come back. Like I promise. So yeah.

He never told him and I never went back. When I think of summer smells, I think of sunscreen, salty beach air, barbecue on the grill, and unfortunately, body odor. Well, not this summer. Thanks to Lume, whole body deodorant, BO will no longer be an unwelcome guest at my summer plans. Their pH optimized formula is clinically proven to block odor all year.

all day and it's not just for underarms it's for everywhere we get odor pits privates feet under boobs you name it so no matter how hot it gets you can still smell fresh and feel confident from head to freaking toe baby ready to make this your freshest summer ever as a special offer new customers get 15% off

all Lume products with our exclusive code and link. Use code bunnyxo at lumedeodorant.com. That's L-U-M-E-D-E-O-D-O-R-A-N-T.com. You guys already know I'm a Lume girl. I have to have it, especially when we're on tour, high paced shows, back to back, running around, armpits, sweating,

butthole marinating, just piddle juice pouring from all the holes. You guys already know that Lume is my go-to. Lume's starter pack is perfection for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, two free products of your choice like mini body wash and deodorant wipes, and free shipping. Again, as a special offer for listeners, new customers get 15% off all

all Lume products with our exclusive code. And if you combine the 15% off with the already discounted starter pack, that equals 40% off their starter pack. Use code BUNNYXO for 15% off your first purchase at lumedeodorant.com. That's code BUNNYXO at L-U-M-E-D-E-O-D-O-R-A-N-T.com.

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So why? So he didn't want you to work. He had money. But then you when you were in the relationship with him, he did he try to control you with money? Is that he didn't try to control me with money? Um, I mean, he paid for everything, right? Honestly, but you needed extra money.

yeah i needed i needed my own money yeah i'm not like a i'm still to this day like i'm not like somebody who can just sit on their ass like i'm not somebody who could just let myself get taken care of like i have to have my own thing going on i have to your trauma won't allow it yeah i will not i will never go broke like i don't give a fuck like i i literally would suck dicks for ten dollars a piece if i had

to if I was homeless on the way here I will go back to the strip club if I ever had to like I know how to make money like I know how to hustle so you know god forbid I ever get to that point in my life ever again but I will never allow myself to miss a meal like it would never happen I'm the same way I have the same exact mindset yeah um so you you don't go back to dancing what do you do

you do you stay in this relationship yeah so i basically stayed in the relationship for three years i was just getting cheated on back to back to back to back like it was just insane i was just dealing with it it was like my first it were i really want to consider my first real real love and like also it was just different because i i think that that relationship like took a toll out of me only because

you know, I was dealing with somebody who came from money and like I had just freshly come out the streets, like, you know. So part of me always felt like I wasn't good enough. And it was like always people around him telling him like, what are you doing dealing with this stripper? Like, you know, what do you see in this girl? She just want to get pregnant and take your money and do all this. So I had like very low self-esteem. I feel like in that relationship just because I always felt like I wasn't good enough. So.

It took me a long time to leave it. And then when I finally did leave, I ended up going on reality TV. So that was like my next stepping stone. When did you do it? When did you join white girl mob? I did white girl mob when I was, um, it was still during the period that I was a stripper, but they had had me stop. So I had white girl mob. How do you stop dancing? Yes.

So... Because it would be bad for their image or something? No, because... So at the time when I was stripping, I was still rapping. Like, I was still doing music. And...

white girl mob was taking off in the bay i wasn't really close with them they were older girls than me so like i remember seeing them out and about in the bay area right and they were always like cool you know they were like the cool girls whatever we were like the little girls and um they had like one big song right yeah the gucci gucci song and i still love that shit yeah and i wasn't even on the song like you know so i didn't even get like the the super fun parts of it but um

they were like doing their thing while I was a stripper I was rapping still as a stripper and then they had lost little Debbie in the group they Debbie left the group and um they were like you know we need somebody so they were like oh well what about her at the time my rap name was princess so they were like what about princess and um well drop dead princess drop dead

So they were like, what about her? So they're like, all right, cool. So I had to quit dancing. And then, you know, I like went to L.A. for a little bit with them, did some shows with them, was part of it. It was cool. We never did a song together. I would just perform their songs with them. I was just like a replacement. And it just didn't end up working out like, you know, they kind of just started to fall off.

And it was just, they started facing backlash because they used to say the N word. And I would just be like, well, I'm sending this out because I'm half black. So I'm gonna say whatever the fuck I want. And y'all shouldn't be saying it anyway. So yeah.

It was just like, it was just like one of those. I was young. I didn't have shit. Like I was sleeping on their couch and shit, like sleeping on their floor. Like I didn't have no money. And I knew it was over when I was like, well, what am I supposed to do for money? Keep in mind, never saw a dollar for a show. I would travel with them and do these shows and wouldn't get paid for shit. I didn't even know about that. I was so green. Like it was just like, you were just trying to make it. I was just trying to be a part of something, you know?

so it's like what am i gonna do for money like i'm not seeing no money they sold you a dream yeah 100 like yeah you're gonna come be a part of wagger mob we're famous like i got a million dollar contract and i'm over here sleeping on the floor not a dollar to my name like how am i about to make some money and they're like well go get a job at starbucks or something i'm like bitch starbucks i'm not no starbucks bitch like i'm a star so why are we gonna work this out so i just had to end up figuring out on my own and just quit fuck with them

So you got out of the relationship that you were in where you were getting cheated on all the time. And were you fresh out of that relationship when you did Bad Girls Club? Yeah. So he had basically like started dating this girl while me and him was like still together. Yeah, of course. But he started dating this girl while we were still together. Found out about it. Seen the girl in person one time. She lied about it. But obviously it was like true. And then...

I want to say the year before I really found out I had a best friend at the time and she had asked me she was like they're doing this casting for Bad Girls Club. It's a sister season. Let's lie and say we're sisters to get on this show. So I went I went along with my friend to this casting. This casting is like thousands of girls like right. Crazy ass shit.

So, you know, we go to the casting. We don't get far for real. So it's just like whatever. And then a year later, as I'm getting cheated on, you know, ready to exit this relationship, I get a call and they're like, hey, we remember you from last year. Would you be interested in recasting for Bad Girls Club? And I was like, in my mind, I'm just like, this is crazy because out of thousands of girls, they're like, we remember you after all this time. This bitch was fucking nuts. We need this girl. So, yeah.

You know, I redid the casting or whatever. I think I went up to the Bay Area, did cast and they have like hundreds and hundreds of girls in there and they like select you out and then you get eliminated and then it gets to this big ass table of like, I don't even fucking know, like 20 girls, 50 girls. I don't know. Everybody got to just talk. You know, it's just like a bunch of little rowdy raggedy bitches, you know.

And then they call you back. They let you know if you made it to the next casting. Not the rowdy raggedy. Oh, yeah. You know, like those castings are like, especially for that show. Yeah. It's like everybody wants to show they're big and bad and can fight and all this shit. And I'm just like, I'm not even worried about it because like I feel like I know people are like drawn to me attention wise. So they called me back, did the green screen, and then the producers called me in the room.

And they were like, yeah, like, why do you think we should have you on the show? And I was like, you need me on the show to make the show. So like, you know, like make it happen. So they're like, OK, yeah, we're going to have her on. In a way, you pretty much manifest because you already believe it's yours. Oh, yeah. A hundred percent. And it's just so crazy. Like when I was growing up, like people used to always be like, she needs to be on Backers Club and she needs to. And I never really like.

I didn't really care to do the show, but I always knew I was going to do something like a stepping stone. Yeah. A hundred percent limelight. A hundred percent. I always knew that I was going to do something. I just didn't know how I was going to get there or like, you know, what I was going to say. What was that experience like for you? Bad girls. It was bad. Um,

It was like prison. I've talked about it before publicly. It was like prison. It was terrible living with a bunch of bitches who just want to fight you for no reason. And at the time I was like, it's kind of like how you were living at home with your mom. Yeah. Like you had to walk on eggshells. Oh my gosh. Just so irritating. Like, and then at the time, like before I had went on the show,

like I said I had been in a relationship where I was just constantly getting cheated on I had started taking Xanax and I was taking Xanax because I didn't want to feel anything like I felt like I was heartbroken every day like you know my friend had like put me on it kind of I used to take it when I used to dance because I used to not want to remember shit I would take Xanax and I would drink on the Xanax so that I would just wake up with hella money and

and be like, cool, good night, whatever. And I just wouldn't wanna have to talk to nobody or have these long-ass, boring-ass conversations, whatever.

So when I was my specialty to yeah, love Xanax. That was like what I had. I was like, this is perfect. I don't have to care about talking to nobody. I don't give a fuck about shit. Like I just almost like your alter ego comes out. Oh, yeah, 100%. And then like if I wouldn't do it, I would feel too much like myself and I would kind of get like in a way ashamed. Like I was put on a different voice because

Because if I was acting like myself, it's like I know I'm an intelligent, smart... Like, I'm funny. I'm smart. Like, I'm all of these great things. And I got to dumb myself for this weird-ass motherfucker. Like, now I don't even want to take your money, bitch. Because, like, you know? So...

When I went on the show, I was coming off as Xanax because I didn't have a prescription like legally. So it wasn't like I could bring my Xanax in Bad Girls Club like, you know. So I was having like severe anxiety when I was on the show. And a lot of people don't know that. But I was having really bad anxiety. It was just panic attacks. Yeah, definitely really bad panic attacks. You know, at the time, like my the guy that I had broken up with who I wasn't with was like,

going public with a new girl while I'm away for like two months so it was just like mentally definitely fucking with me and then just having to you know deal with girls who want to

break your nose like it's not when you talk about the guy who had a lot of money was it was that bow wow no okay i never dated that man oh i thought you know well the internet is wrong no no no i never dated bow wow i went to premier some premier thing with him one time i never dated him though yeah he just asked me randomly to go was he in the limelight though yeah is it puff daddy's son okay gotcha yeah so yeah that was it was whatever it was just a lot well you know we were young

We're still friends to this day. So it's like, I don't really hold any grudge for like anything that I went through when I was, you know, with him or anything like that because...

It's life, we're young, we're going through our own set of growing pains. I came from a lot of trauma. Before I had got with him, I was literally in a physically abusive relationship with somebody. So I had my shit from that I had to deal with. It was just a lot. - How old were you when you went through the domestic violence relationship? - I was 18 to 19. - That's so young. - Yeah, 18 to 19 and then that's when I met my, I literally fled from my abusive relationship

and um I had like took hella money and bought a car and like literally took hella money went and bought a car got a u-haul my boyfriend at the time went out of town packed up my shit and had um

A girl drive the U-Haul and we drove to L.A., had an apartment already set up that I had never even seen before. I was like, I just got to get the fuck out of here. Had like sent them the money through PayPal or some shit. Had roaches and held it. It was disgusting. And a week later, I met my ex-boyfriend. So, yeah, I met him and it was like my whole life changed. Like we fell in love instantly. And it was like, wow, like this is crazy as fuck. You guys think you'll ever circle back? No. No.

No. Is that on you or on him? It's on me. Gotcha. Definitely on me. Like we're still friends. Like he's amazing. Like as a friend, that's pretty much it. I don't have any like I don't I just don't look at him in that type of way anymore.

So after the Bad Girls Club, because you're withdrawing off Xanax and stuff like that, it was a horrific experience for you. Where do you go? Take me on that journey. What's what does winter do after that? Where did Winter Blanco come from? Where did that name come from? Winter Blanco started when I was a stripper and it started because I was my favorite book was The Coldest Winter Ever. And I was just like winter got winter from that because I felt like I really related to her. Like she had to go through hellish shit and like, you know, blah, blah, blah.

And then Blanco came from Griselda Blanco, which is funny because now the Netflix show is coming out and people who didn't know about her are learning about her. And I'm like, that's why I made my name Blanco. Her son and wife are coming on the podcast. Really? That was why I made my name Blanco is because I was just like, she's just a badass bitch. So I always thought she was hella cool. So I just put Blanco on it. People really think that's my last name. I'm like, no.

When I was researching, I was like, what a fucking great name. And then I realized that it wasn't. It was a stage name. Yeah, definitely. What a great stage name. Right. Thank you. So take me on the journey after Bad Girls Club. What does Winter do? You know, I was trying to, I think I was trying to do music again. I did an album after that. And yeah.

It was hard, though, after the show, like directly after the show, because I got a lot of backlash on the show. I did some shit that I wasn't really proud of. Like, producers kind of pushed us into it. It was like picking on another girl or whatever. I don't think people, like fans of reality, realize that reality TV is not fucking reality. Right. Oh, my goodness. There's so much that goes on behind the scenes of reality.

these shows i mean so i basically got like labeled a bully because i did some stupid shit drunk as hell they would like feed us alcohol in hot pockets and no food yeah yeah like that's literally like what we would survive on and then they would be like yeah get that bitch out the house or she was talking shit about you like you know like stuff like that so

I did something I wasn't proud of. You know, I knew it wasn't my character. Like I immediately felt regret. I called my mom. I was crying on the phone where I was like, this is not me. Like, you know, I feel like that's when me and my mom's relationship kind of started mending was because I had to like I needed my mom. Like I had to like have her in my life. And it was just crazy. Like the world hated me at first. And I was like, I was at your first bout with online shit. No, because I had it with white girl mob.

Oh, gotcha. Yeah. And I always was the internet around back then. Yes, it was. Yes. It was like Twitter and Facebook and stuff. I fucking hate Twitter. Yeah. Twitter is where the crazies are. Twitter is fucking nuts. Like I get dragged on Twitter all the damn time. Twitter and TikTok. They're fucking nuts.

oh my god yes tiktok stays dragging me i don't really give a fuck though because like they're just losers we'll get yeah we'll get into that in a little bit but i get dragged on all the fucking time i don't even fucking do anything i'm the most unproblematic problematic person you've ever met right no that's how i feel honestly like i have my opinions but like i don't be picking on nobody for real so whatever literally i get in trouble if i fucking laugh at something somebody says on my podcast it's like oh she's a mean girl you're like shut the fuck up dude they just like to nitpick

for sure so moving on from the bad girls club what do you what does winter do besides writing an album when did you start writing your books was that in 2021 when was bad girls club bad girls club was in damn i was 23 so that was seven years ago whatever that was 2016 yeah 2016 okay so you didn't write your books until 2021 2020 i wrote one in 2020 and one in 2021 okay gotcha yeah so um

What do you do in that gap in between 16 to 20? What's winter doing? I was just doing a bunch of shit.

she's like I'm just living my life bitch yeah like I mean I don't know like I did an album I was just I was having to deal with the online hate for the first time for real you know people started really knowing who I was and I just felt like if I show people who I am they'll like me because like I know like I'm a pretty I'm like I'm the type of person kind of you really hate or you really really love so I was like I just gotta like show the internet who I am and like I just kept growing from that like I kind of

came to a point where I was like, I just want to get away from Bad Girls Club. Like I felt like it painted me in a picture like that isn't me. Right. And I really want to just get away from it. So,

You know, I was getting like reality TV offers and stuff like that. And I just was turning them down. I was traumatized as fuck. Would you ever do another reality TV show? I would. If it was the right fit. Yeah, I would do another reality show if it was the right fit. But there's not many that I would do. So, I mean, IDK. I've been kind of in talks about doing another one, but...

We're just going to see what happens. Yeah. I think you're made for TV. You do? Absolutely. I want my own show. You need it. I think you could carry it for sure. So let's talk about a kind of a sensitive subject because I did watch on your podcast last night where people are literally always questioning your ethnicity. And I see that it really like hurt you in this podcast and it broke my heart for you because it was like, it's kind of like you against the world. And I think...

and I quote, you said, I don't feel like I belong to any one community. Nobody will, I don't want to quote you out of context, but you just pretty much said like, I don't feel like I belong anywhere. Yeah. And if there's a little girl who's growing up with, you know, and dealing with the same things that you've had to deal with where people are

not accepting her, what would be some advice that you would give or that you could give to a little girl watching? I feel like that's hard to say because I feel like even I don't really know. Like, you know, like I don't really know. Like I do feel that way. Like I still feel that way. I'll probably feel that way forever. Like, no, I don't know what it feels like to like have a community. Like, I don't know. Like, I don't,

I don't because I don't know what other people feel like I don't know if I feel different like I don't know if like white people are like yes I'm white and I'm proud and then like you know black people are like I'm black and I'm proud well like yeah we know that but like you know I just I don't yeah sorry Shiza you're laughing but um you're doing so great thank you but um

No, I just I don't know. I don't feel like I have a community. I feel like, you know, mixed race people, they're uncomfortable about speaking up about how they feel just because people do want you to like choose your sides. And it's like especially for somebody like me who is white passing, like it feels like your voice just doesn't matter because you don't look black enough. And like white people don't give a fuck. Like white people don't give a fuck about what makes people got going on. Like that's just really not their problem. Like, you know, white people don't have to deal with like colorism. So, yeah.

It's just not really even like their issue, I guess. So...

I don't know. I just don't really have anywhere to turn to, I guess. Yeah. So you don't have any advice for a little girl going through it? I mean, I guess just like you just have to be comfortable with who you are. Like you can't be ashamed about anything. Like I feel like a lot of mixed people do go through shame. Some people be ashamed that they're half white. People be ashamed that they got a white mama. And it's like, it's really not that damn deep. Like, it's okay. Your mom is white. It's fine. Like, we're going to be all right. Like mixed people try to like...

I guess segregate themselves in a way like by parents like well my mom is black so I am different from you because which I mean I'm sure but like I really just feel like it depends on culturally like your mom could be like white your mom could be white but like

I guess. And then your dad could be black, but act white. Like that shit is fucking dumb. But, um, I feel like when Mariah Carey came on the scene, they did the same thing to her. Really? Like it was really bad. Like she had to address it a lot too. I also feel like another thing that goes on that is kind of frustrating, like, especially like when I have to see it, like there are like mixed people that are, um,

when there are mixed people that are super successful, like people want to claim them as their own. Like that's when it's like, we not gatekeeping. Like for instance, Barack Obama, he's biracial. That's our first black president. Kamala Harris came out. She was like, I'm mixed race. Everybody was mad. She was saying she was mixed race. Like, it's just like, it doesn't feel like there's like a space for biracial people to just be biracial. It's like, you have to be one or the other. And I think that's where,

I guess the issue just gets like annoying, especially like if you are like me and you look white as hell, it's like they want me to like,

pick and choose that I'm white, but I'm like, I'm never going to pick and choose that I'm white because I'm not. I'm mixed. Like I'm biracial. But you shouldn't have to pick, you know, just one. You should be able to coexist in the middle somewhere. Yeah. And I know the conversation is so tired and like even I get tired of talking about it because people like have, you know, been on my ass about this for years. But TikToks are insane. Yeah. I Googled your name on TikTok. I was like, this is what people really fucking spend their time doing. They will sit there and make

paragraphs and books about their opinion. I'm like, there's no fucking opinion about a fact. Like, I don't know what the fuck we're even negotiating. It got so bad online that people were doxing you. And like, yeah, the whole situation leaked my address, social security number. I'm like, it's cool. You can leak my fucking address. It's not like I got a gun. So I don't give. Did you have people showing up to your house there? Okay. So after my address got leaked, there was this girl sitting outside of my house. I was like, hi, winter.

But like, I don't know if like maybe she just was there or like she seen my address. Right. But nobody ever like just showed up and knocked on the door. No. I mean, I had a stalker, but he wasn't like from the Internet. Like I knew him. Oh, that's the worst kind. Yeah. That's when you know somebody and they start fucking stalking you. Yeah. But I mean, honestly, I'm not I don't give a fuck. Leak my damn address. Bitch, I don't give a fuck. I've been wanting to use my gun. I really don't care. Give me an excuse.

So moving on, you wrote your books in 2020 and then you also, that's around the same time that you met your friend, Shai. Yes, it is. Can we bring Shai in? Yes, let's bring her in. Shai, welcome. Hi, thanks for having me. Thanks for sitting in the corner for a little bit. Of course, I loved the whole conversation. Y'all really, it was really engaging. Yeah. You did so great. I loved it. I told her off camera, I was like, you're like her emotional support human. Yeah. How long have you guys been? For the most part. Yeah. Yeah.

How long have you guys been friends for? Where did you guys meet? We met like seven years ago, I think, probably. But we've been friends solid since like right when COVID happened, I think. You have a lot of time to really sit with somebody. You don't have nothing else to do. You have nothing else to literally do. So I think that's the most part, yeah. I love that. Was it just like an instant friendship? No.

Like a soulmate type thing. I was like, this bitch is funny. Yeah. I like her. Yeah. I mean, yeah, we definitely like, for the years that we knew each other, we didn't know that we were just so amazingly hilarious together. Especially you. I think, what really? I think you had like a taco Tuesday or something.

And it was something random that Clark invited me. We lived together. We lived around the same. I mean, we lived in the same building. Yeah. Oh, gotcha. But one of my close friends invited, one of my best friends invited me to her, something you were having at one of your apartments. And I damn near was the host of it at that point. She was sitting there on the couch and I was just like playing all the games. I was doing it. She was like, no, stay, stay. And I was like, I like it here. Aww. Aww.

- Those are the best friendships that are just like so effortless and it's just like you guys, you literally meet and it's just a friendship from here on out. - Yes. - So how did you guys start your podcast, Behind the Likes?

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Sign up today. So I was going to start one. We always tell this story. So I was going to start one probably like a year or two. It was drag. Two years prior to us starting one. Because I've always been very open. I go impersonable. People would always come up to me and be like, you need a podcast, you need to do this, you need to do that. And so I got approached by someone who was starting their own streaming network. So...

I was like, okay, yeah, I'm gonna do this. So I filmed like a few episodes.

He was full of shit. The streaming network was full of shit. The contract was full of shit. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, it was just everything was downhill at that point. So I was just kind of off of it for a second. And Winter was like, I'm going to do a podcast. And like, it was at this time, it was just like, I was like, perfect. Go ahead. Do a podcast. Like, I'm like, you have. She did not want to do it with me. I was about to get there. She has a following. I'm like, it's perfect. You can do your thing. But I just didn't want to do it. Like, I wanted something of my own.

own my fresh like my own like look thing aside from I'm always like showing up in the beaches for everybody else which is perfect I have no problem doing that but I'm like I just need something on my own right but now looking back I would have jumped on me and went to doing this the moment it fucking like the moment yeah moment it was brought to me because I could not imagine doing a podcast by myself I hated doing it by myself for one and then two just like we bounce off of each other so well it's insane it really is insane it's

It's not even like... I know it's work. We're getting paid. Like, you know, you're getting paid to be a creator now, I guess. But...

It's not even like work. It's just so... I couldn't have no other way. It's like just hanging out with your best friend and getting paid. Yeah, and getting paid to do it. Literally. I watched a couple of you guys' episodes and I feel like you're the calm to her storm. Really? Yeah. I feel like she's a nut job. Everybody says that though, but I don't think so. Your delivery is just a little bit more aggressive. Yeah. So her delivery is aggressive. You're an Aquarius like me. Yeah, and we don't really care about that much. So I can speak about something. I'm like, all right, whatever. You can do what you want to do. And she's very like...

Passionate. Passionate about her opinions, which I respect. And, you know, I'm trying, I'm kind of getting more like that, but I'm like, pull my arm. I might, I might agree with you. You know, you're going to tell me, I'm like, whatever, fuck it. And she's like, no.

I don't agree with that. Here we are. I mean, yeah, she just, I think we just balance each other really, really well. And we just understand each other. Like, I think even me growing up my whole life, I never really felt like I had people who understood me like core through and through. But like, that's one thing I could definitely say about our friendship. Like, I feel like we genuinely do understand each other. Like, you know, like before we got here, she called me and she had a little attitude and I was like, all right, bye.

I got time for this. I'll see you later. But that's real friends. That's how Mimi and I are. Like before having a day or like I'm being an asshole, I'll circle back around later on that night. I'm like, hey man, I'm sorry. Sorry I was being a douche bag. So Shai, where are you from? What's a little bit of your backstory? I'm from Louisiana, born and raised Baton Rouge. I moved out here at 22.

I'm 19. By yourself? We're both 19. I don't know how I age backwards. Listen, when you get as old as me, you start counting backwards too. Yeah, I don't think I'm, I'm stopping at 29. Like, I'm not going anywhere else. Like, I'm going to be 29 until I'm 50. You say that until you hit 44, which is what I am. You're 44? I love you guys. You're lying. I love you. You know what? Can we do

I thought you were like

maybe 35 38 38 max love you guys but no i was gonna say when you get to 44 you kind of like want to be around 36 like that's your yeah you know so once you get there you'll be like maybe 36. damn girl you look 36. i appreciate it you can really do it i love you so much we could still all the drugs

When I was younger. I'm the crazy one. No, you guys are going to age beautifully. Thank you. As long as Botox is still around. Botox is still in style. Look, for sure. Botox is a saver. But, no, so I'm...

Yeah, I have four older sisters. So I came out here by myself. I have family like an hour away. What made you want to just leave Louisiana to come to L.A.? So pretty. Both L.A.s. Leave L.A. to come to L.A. I'm like, why am I here? No, I'm just kidding. I came to visit my family at 18 and I was enamored. I was like, oh, I'm coming back. I don't care what I wanted to do. And like, I was really thinking about this the other day.

I never really had like a passion for fashion. Like I'm like, I want to be a model. You know, I never cared that much for it. But I'm like, of course, I was thinking, I was like, I need to do something hard in my life because everything has been so easy. I came out here. I got an agency. Like, you know what I'm like? It was just like, it was, it was easy for me. And I'm like, I should go to school. I should do something. But I was going to school in Louisiana. I was like, I don't want to do this. And I was just like,

I go to L.A. It's crazy you don't have an accent. Oh, I worked hard for that. Yeah? Yeah. I did because, I mean, no matter how I tell you. Because Louisiana accents are so... Yeah. Yeah, strong. Yeah, no matter how, like...

you can be or come across, they don't get past that accent. That's true. So it's just so real. You know, you just have to learn how to like, you know, I feel like I've even had to do that, like with the Bay Area, like having my accent. When I first moved out here, people thought I was so ghetto and so ratchet. And like over the years, I just had to start talking a little bit

more like this and like sometimes when I get drunk it comes out really heavily and then people are like you sound country as hell when you drink yeah the bay sounds hella country to me I know people say that all the time my husband is one of the smartest humans you'll ever meet and when he opens his mouth he talks like this

and it's like now don't get me wrong my family is completely different and it's like it will come out but like out here it's just you know it's not that valley girl thing but it's just it's more just like you know you learn to adapt you know I was telling her the other day I was like when I first came out here I was wearing like floral dresses going to the clubs and I'm like you have to really

Not the floral. Yeah, like, you know, you have to learn how to adjust when you come to L.A. So it's like I adjust it. And how old are you? 25. You're 25. No, I'm 30. Okay, gotcha. My birthday is Wednesday. I'm about to be 32. Aw, happy birthday. I'm getting a box. Thank you. When's your birthday? January 22nd. Ooh.

Happy birthday. Happy light birthday. Thank you. Now, don't cry. 32. Dude, I'm telling you right now, 32 to 39 is your time to shine. Really? I mean, even after, but I'm just saying those are like your golden years. You're going to have so much fun. It sounds serious. It's not. It sounds so serious. I had so much damn fun. Sounds like an adult.

No, we gotta be We'll be adults at 40 You're only I'm classy this year She says You're only as old as you feel If you still Like I'm 44 And I still feel like I'm 34 Like it's You're only as old as you feel And how you feel inside Is what you're gonna project To everybody

So you're married to, is his name, okay, I don't want to, what is it? Jelly. Jelly? Is it Jelly? I recently seen him on something. Wasn't he in court? Yes, for the fentanyl thing. And I watched one of your podcasts with him. And I was like, the way that he, I was like, because I just wanted to know. Yeah, of course. So I'm like, the way that y'all speak to each other is so like just cute. And he's just so chill. And just like, they're just sitting like, yeah, baby, no.

I'm like, I like it. It's so cute. No, he's a sweetie pie. He's my Sagittarius. Oh, that's our connection. I say that all the time. That's our love connection. Sagittarius have only ever broken my heart. Yeah, she calls me Sagittarius. What about your new love, Winter? He's a Leo. Oh, Taurus and Leo are soulmate signs. Mm-hmm. Taurus and Leo? Really? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah.

I love that. Cool. Everybody's so interested in who you're dating. I know. I mean, there was one TikTok. They didn't crack the damn code, y'all. Really? Admit it.

I mean, no, I'm not admitting shit. I mean, there's so many TikToks. Somebody's going to have to really go through all those fucking TikToks to figure out which one it is. People are fucking delusional. But I mean, yeah, I've been dating. I have a boyfriend now. He's really great. Full time, like off the market winter. Yes. Like real boyfriend. Yeah. It's not like just somebody I'm dating or dealing with, you know, a situation ship. It's like a real boyfriend. It's like it's been cool. It's been a little bit hard because I feel like I've only really been in like very toxic relationships lately.

And usually when things get hard or somebody pisses me off, I just dump them and find a new boyfriend. So I'm like not doing that now. Trauma.

Oh, yeah, definitely. Like, my mom has always been like, you need to be more patient with guys. Just your mom? Huh? I'm the other one in the air like, hey, this is what we're not supposed to do right now. I'm all for a free spirit that lets you do your thing. I'm like, you know, do whatever you want. Fuck them if you feel that way. But in the sense that I'd be like, that was a little toxic that you want to hang up and you want to correct him. I'm like, okay. But I'm like, yeah, it's a thing. But it is true what they say when you – the first –

healthy relationship after a toxic one is the hardest yeah I mean it hasn't really been hard because I just feel like he balances me out so well but I feel like internally it has been hard just because it's just like I don't know I'm just not used to somebody who's like not a terrible person I guess like I don't know how to deal with a good man I only know how to deal with pieces of shit

So it's just been different and new. And like some days I'm just like, you about to be single. Like, I don't give a fuck. Like, I don't know who you playing with. You don't know. I'll be right out this door. Like, you know, and I'm like, I have to not do that. You need to learn how to not bleed on people who don't cut you.

Right. That was one of the major things I had to learn with Jay because Jay was my first like really. Well, let me not lie. The first three years of our relationship were fucked. But we had to learn to heal together. And once we got into that safe space, I was like, God, I'm so used to the chaos. Like, I just want to fucking start an argument. Right. Fuck shit up, you know, but you have to really learn to grow with somebody. And it's the most vulnerable thing that you're ever going to do. Right. But it's the most rewarding also. Yeah. I'll get to that space.

You know, so I talk about it very openly, but like, you know, we, I came out of a severely abusive relationship where I was almost killed a couple of times and just relationships before that were extremely toxic. He had came from nothing but toxicity too. So when you put two fucking wild hyenas in a cage, you guys are going to bite each other for sure. And we got to a point where my husband had an affair behind my back for about a year and

A year. And yeah. And when it all came to light, you know, I've been in the adult industry for a really long time. So I've seen pastors cheat on their wives. Oh, yeah. Cheating to me is not sex. Cheating to me is emotional. Yeah. You know, he was doing both. So I felt completely violated. And then when we got to that point, I was just like, OK,

Okay, I have two roads. I can either leave right now and start over with somebody else and go through the same fucking bullshit or I can give this man one more chance to prove to me that he's willing to change but I need to also take responsibility for what the fuck I was doing in the relationship which was pushing his buttons being toxic with them, you know, I just needed to take accountability because

it was both of us and you know we went to counseling and he has completely became the man that I needed and I've become the woman that he's needed and we had to heal together and I always tell everybody this I constantly say at the biggest flex as a couple is how you grow together it's not what you have materialistic wise it's not status in the fucking social media ring it's literally what you guys can heal together as far as childhood traumas and break generational curses together right Shire you with somebody

Yes, I am. Yeah? How long? So we've... She was like a deer caught in headlights. I was like, let me throw it back at you, Shai. This isn't our podcast. I was like, so tell me more. You're fine. It's so easy to get back to that in a sense because it is so interesting to hear other people's relationships and their dynamic and how they move forward. It's work. It's work. A relationship is work. You're never going to find a fucking easy love. And if it's an easy love, I don't want it. I want to work for it. Do you feel like you're...

his infidelity kind of helped heal your relationship in a sense it um what happened was it tore the castle it tore the castle down to build a mansion you know so like we literally had to tear shit down to rebuild because who we were as humans before we decided to heal together i was a piece of shit he was a piece of shit we did not have good intentions for anybody in our lives i i

Only life I knew was hustling. So everything was a hustle to me. And same thing with my husband. And we had to reevaluate who we were and who we wanted to be. And we also got full custody of his daughter. So we had to change for her too. But yeah, that's cool. I am in a relationship. I've been with him for like three, four years now.

It's been a lot. That's a long relationship. It's a long relationship, yeah. I was in a six-year relationship before that, and I was single for four years, so I felt like I was ready. And, yeah, it's been up and down, but it's been good for the most part. When you say up and down, what do you mean? We both have been pretty toxic towards each other. How can I say this without sounding like a...

You guys both have such a hard time talking about yourselves. Really? Honestly, no. Like, vulnerably. I love talking about myself, but like in certain, like my relationship sometimes. Your vulnerability. She's closed off about her relationship. My relationship is a little different because, because I can be open with me.

I had yeast infection the other day. No, I'm just kidding. I hate when that happens. I know, right? But no, I really didn't. But my relationship is a little different because, I mean, people can't critique what they don't really know. So I don't really want the, I don't want that personal part of me to be judged. And because like they do, because I cried on one episode because we had broken up. And then like, and I, for me, that's hard to even do. And I was just caught off guard. Yeah. Because I didn't think our guest was going to ask questions about me in that moment. And I was just like,

I don't want to talk about it. So it ended up being that situation. And before that, I kind of got vulnerable and was like, I'm at this crossroad right now of like where I want more in this relationship. And I wasn't really being met in like me wanting more. Like I'm 30, about to be 32 years old. Like I want more stability, more. Like you want to be married? Yeah, I want marriage. I want like, I just want a little bit more structure and stability because we are long distance. And it's just like all of those things were getting to me.

Which as you're rightfully so. Yeah, exactly. So it was all getting to me and then some bullshit happened right around that time. I was expecting like a crossroad shift to happen and I was just like, oh, this is my sign to be done. Done. And then when you think you're done, like you want to stand on business and that business is quicksand. It's just like you're not standing on shit. Love is a four letter word. Yeah, so it's from that point now we're working on, that's why I was asking you because I love hearing people's dynamic when

Something happens and how you fix it from there. How do you move forward? I think we're both focused now on the positivity of it. We had to really hit rock bottom. I've done some shit that I'm not proud of. He's done some things that he's not proud of.

done some things I could probably go to jail for. You know, so it's like, we have to like, I had to figure out a way to like, okay, why is this happening? Is it just him that my reactions are this way? Am I the only person? Because at a point, I felt like I was always at fault for things. And I'm like, am I being...

Like, I don't know what's going on. Right. So like we just had to shift the whole dynamic and now we're just working together instead of against each other. And I feel like that's just been the best thing. That's amazing. That is key to work together and not against each other. But I also believe that everybody deserves a second chance. They don't deserve three or four though. Yeah. And that was the one thing I did with my husband was a second chance. Yeah. And mine was more so in a sense of like...

all right, I can see, like, I see this, but it's just like, it was the things that, it sounds crazy to say, it wasn't that that was the kill for me. It was the things prior to that. Right. That I really was like, oh, you got me a little fucked up. You've been doing all these things and you have me feeling crazy, but you really are the psychopath. It's the, yes. You know what I'm saying? The psychological part of it. Yes, it was a psychological thing that really kind of like fucked with me for the part. That's when my husband did his affair. That is what I was more pissed off about. I was like, I have sat here and said, I know this is going on. Have confidence.

concrete pretty much proof and you literally gaslit the fuck out of me and made me feel like I was crazy. Being gaslit and just feeling like you have a it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that if you have a finger pointed at you somebody's pointed a finger at you three are pointed back at them it's just like you are doing all of these things because you got some shit that you ain't got going on and it could be anything like not even just cheating it could be a multitude of just different things and so it's just like for me it was everything leading up to it and it's just like I should not be dealing with this type of shit and so

Whatever one thing led to another and now we're at like a place where I was just saying the other day I'm like, oh we've been pretty solid since you know, a lot of things have happened We've talked about it a lot. So we're not where I want us to be but we're definitely working together and I actually said today that

while i was on the car right here i was just like we're in such a good place right and he was like yeah we really are i thought that earlier today and i was like okay let's see how long it lasts and that's the thing right now yeah that i'm thinking in my head let's see how long this lasts but i literally was like we really are i thought that today that's how it be when you like be beefed out you'd be like can we just have one good day yeah and that's that's so annoying i hate that yeah i do not want to get back to that in any relationship yeah and i'm just like and that's why i'm like i'm telling you i'm like

when I'm listening to winter and she, we talk about, you know, like as girls do, you talk about these things and you just be like, you enjoy this and you thrive off of where this is at now because I'm not saying that I want that, that it could go down your way in your relationship, but that dynamic shifts so quickly and you'd be like, damn, I wish I had that boring or that peaceful or that, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. No. Yeah. I'm thankful. I'm thankful to have like a, I'm, I have a pretty peaceful relationship. I'm not going to lie. So you in love winter where,

I feel like I love him, but we don't say I love you yet. Why? Yeah, we don't. Because I don't tell men I love them first. Gotcha. They have to be in love with me before I even like them for real. So I'm just kidding. You gotta be obsessed. If he were to say, Winter, I love you, would you say that? Yeah, I would say I love him too. Definitely. She said it on the phone while he was on the phone.

No. She was like, love you. I did not do that. You're literally telling a lie. No, that is the dead honest truth. Remember that day we interviewed Jaden Alexis? Bitch, he hung up the phone and I was like, I love him. And then he, no, I was calling him. That's what happened. I was calling him and I said, I love him. And he was like, what? He answered the phone. I said, nothing. I was like, say it.

I think that's one of the things I love about you guys' podcast is you guys will straight up argue with each other on the podcast. Like, you guys will straight up have a day. We've edited arguments.

even why because at the end of the day hilarious no she don't want people to see us argue um you've cut out arguments too true yeah exactly she's trying to act like it just be me she listen i just want to tell you guys my team is both tauruses really so it's an aquarius and taurus and we we beef too really yeah she's so hard strung and it don't be beef it really be like it'd be it's not

They're emotional. Yes. And it'd be like, okay. I literally say, okay, we can relax. We're all getting on the hot seat now. Yeah.

The whole energy in the room is changing right now. But I've been telling Winner, I'm like, the dynamic of our podcast is our friendship. Which is what I love about you guys is having your little tiffs on the show. It's some real shit. We do have real shit, like real little tiffs or whatever. We don't really argue much, though. We argue about pretty much the same thing every time. You guys are like sisters. Stop! Stop!

Don't fucking start with me, bro. Because I already know the way that you're looking at me. You're about to start. But no, we do pretty much only argue about one thing. And like, it's so fucking dumb. And what's the one thing you guys argue about? This episode is sponsored by AutoTrader. Credit scores, down payments, interest rates.

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Oh,

Oh, I'm calling that card. No. She said don't bring it up now. We just... It's just the only thing we've ever really argued about. It's fucking dumb. It's really not that deep. But, like, we just never got past it. And... I don't know. It's just... But you guys have to get past it for your friendship. You guys need to figure out a way to communicate with each other without... I think we just come to the point where we just agree to disagree. Yeah. Like, that's just, like, the best thing. Because we are both... She says I'm hard-headed, but she actually is extremely hard-headed, too. Oh, yeah. For sure. So, we're both hard-headed. Yes, she is. I can be hard-headed, but...

but here's the thing they're both over here going because i'm the same way i can get it i get it i'm cold i'm like a cold motherfucker that's and that's what i'm saying it's just like i'm i literally can be but my cold is like silent you know what i'm saying i'm like i'm not about to argue with you i'm not about to like and i'm like well i'll get my words out first i'll be like motherfucker fuck you this is how i feel and then that's it yeah so do you feel like i'm like that

Oh, yeah. I will say what I have to say. But after that, it's just like I am. She's the type of person she like if there's something going on, I feel like she would rather like not deal with it in the moment. Yeah, but I need I need to really because I'm like half the time I'm like,

is this really that deep? And I need to calibrate and be like, okay, I don't want to flash the fuck out. So I have to really go back into it. And I'd be very hot and bothered. And she'd be like, what? Because I know we have big personalities. So I'm like, sometimes it's necessary to take a step back. Now my step back may be like...

a few months and hers would be like a few months yes no it was that one time we didn't talk for six months at one point oh yeah it was it was terrible it was I thought I called her crying on my birthday and I was like this has been gone long enough no oh did you miss her yeah I missed her a lot yeah definitely it was very weird I never had a friend that I actually was like

oh my goodness, like I feel like a part of me is like missing that we're not friends. These other bitches, bye bitch. I don't give a fuck. I never felt that way. I knew we'd be back together, but I was just like. Not back together. Homos. Homos. Gay. But no, I knew we'd be fine, but I know me. I know that sometimes I'm like, I felt like this was too much and I felt like,

you know i sometimes people need space and i say and maybe not six months next time shy but we tried to work it out halfway through and then we couldn't work it out and then we tried again i was like she got me fucked up no we couldn't work it out yeah and that's how i felt too yeah why did you even bring that up well i'm glad you guys i didn't bring up i said we only argue about one thing i was about to talk about the little tits but you want to talk about the big one because i don't feel like we really have like

Little tips, really. So let's focus on the podcast really quick. You guys already have kind of you guys started this year, right? So you guys have pretty much came out swinging with your guests. I mean, to be a new podcast, you guys are getting quality guests on. We are very thankful. I don't even think that we knew.

that we were going to like be able to like do what we've actually been able to do so far. Like I, we've learned everything almost by ourselves. You've helped us a little bit. Be Simone has helped us a little bit. Like just giving like, you know, advice and stuff. And like, that's really helped us with like little things that has mattered for sure. Yeah. Did you guys start a Patreon yet? Yeah. Oh, cool. What? Shout it out so people can go in. What is it? Behind the lights podcast. Oh, is it podcast or pod? Or is it pod? We don't know. One of the two. God,

damn it it's podcast it's podcast just go to patreon and type in behind the likes podcast yeah but um yeah I think for me I feel like you you'll see I mean you know having your own podcast it's

After a while, we get like, oh, we didn't talk about these topics. We need some guests. You know what I'm saying? We need to have a little bit of diversity or just something. Yep. That's the one thing with podcasts is you have to keep the momentum snowballing. It's just got to be a constant. It's like a constant hamster wheel. And people don't realize that's a lot of fucking work.

People are like, oh, they have a podcast. And it's like, yeah, motherfucker, let me see you have one that has longevity. Yeah. I've been doing mine for five years. That's crazy. That's crazy. Five years? But it's so rewarding. And you guys...

To have the momentum and to be able to have outlets like TikTok, that's shit that I didn't have starting out. And you guys can literally capitalize off of it. And plus, because winter is so in the spotlight and you're starting to be in the spotlight too, it's like, you know, fucking you guys can totally capitalize off of that. And she does so much, which I'm so appreciative of, because it's like you never know what you get into. Because in the beginning, I was like, all right, I have to like...

help out as much as i can because i'm not bringing that following oh and you are you're i know yeah yeah but bringing bring i think even you bringing yourself to the table is the best thing you could possibly be done because if it was with anybody i would have not been able to do this shit with anybody else yeah 100 percent balance off of each other so well like the workload is just so equal i was reading the comments people love you too shy yeah don't discredit she said yeah i know but like i'm not saying

I'm just saying like in the beginning you do have these like doubts and these questions and you do question yourself in a sense when you are coming onto a platform that somebody has built on their own like from the ground up. It is like you do feel like...

what can I do to add value and you know sometimes yourself is enough but it is also bringing that workload being a good partner being a good friend being understanding like what we need from each other I feel like has made it thrive to where it is going right now and yeah we definitely pick up like especially with the workload like we're not like nitpickers like we're not like well I did this so you need to do this and I it's just like whatever needs to get done we're gonna get it done okay I I realize I need to pick this up you've been doing a little bit

you know, a little bit more for the last few days. Let me do this and handle this. So like we balance each other pretty well with that. And for being such a new podcast, you guys are, you know,

you're gonna figure it out at each year each season it's gonna just get better and it'll just keep getting bigger and like i said it's just gonna keep fucking snowballing thank you what do you guys want to do next besides the podcast you're such a big personality wonder i feel like you need to have your hands in a bunch of shit so we are actually about to um we're about to be shooting a pilot for hopefully our own show yay so fingers crossed you know we are going to try to pitch it to a couple networks that we have connections to and um

I don't know. I just think it's going to be great. Yeah. You know, I think it's going to be good. What's going to be the concept of it? So we're... So kind of basically like a spinoff. Not a spinoff, but like something...

Similar. Along the lines of similar to The Simple Life. Okay. Paris is another one. And then like, even like a Cardi Tries, like what she would do on Facebook. It's just like something similar to that because anywhere we go, it's like people want more of us. They want the Patreon. They want footage of us every day and it's kind of hard doing it on your own. It's just like, sometimes we want these intimate moments to ourselves but sometimes people want

to like for you to capture every single thing and it would be perfect if a camera was with us and while we do like fun activities and things like that so I think that's just like a catapult to something that could be really great because they love when people subscribe to our Patreon they love it and they're like we need more of this like we've done

tennis and we've like we did tennis lessons we do a bunch of random shit all the time on there getting drunk as hell and just being insane watching you eat just doing Q&A's do Q&A's yeah I do my I produce my own my family's reality show which is Meet the D4s and then I also do

my Bunny XO show with my production company and I make more money off my Patreon than any network than any fucking network would ever give you guys so you guys could even start it yourselves and then sell it to a network and then maybe be in like kind of like a bidding war and being like I want this much because I'm making this much you know you started your own production company is that within this realm of the five years that you've been doing the podcast too? we said the same thing it's like you see all these things that you need and it's just like

Instead of depending on other people you want to figure out your own shit. Yeah, own your own shit We've been we've definitely been like doing that a lot like we get like deal offers for random shit all the time We're like we could do this on our own. Yeah, that's that's where she'd be like I'm like I can do a little help

She was like, we can do it all on our own. I'm like, no, help me. But the thing is, is if you build the foundation, they will come, you know? And it's like, you get to where you're in a position of like, I'm making X amount of dollars on our, our Patreon. We have a demand. I have 70, what do we have? 70,000 on Patreon, 72,000 on Patreon. Uh, we have two tiers, right? Oh, that shit is fucking crazy, bro. But,

I'm telling you, you guys don't need a network. The only reason you would need a network is for the exposure. So it's like you're going to wash one for the other. You're washing the money that you would get for the exposure or you're going to make your money and then limit your exposure. They're annoying too though. They'd be like, yeah. Well, they want to control your narrative. They want to take all our money. Yeah. They want to do everything and take all our money and just leave us to give them a show for them to get paid. I'm like, bitch, I don't know. We almost signed with a production company this year and I'm so glad we didn't because they're under a lawsuit right now.

really oh my goodness yeah the one that i was signing with for the podcast they're in the lost they're in all type of shit right now that's crazy insane and i and i was gravitated towards them because they were like we'll do everything we'll do the marketing we'll do all of these things like all you have to do is come and bring yourself right and i was like yeah perfect love it now we're like googling things how to do this on our own watching youtube videos text me if there's anything i can help you guys with i'll always help you i swear to god tumblers

tumblers because we look we've been struggling we were trying to make our own damn cups we're like fuck a merch company we'll make them ourselves no bro when it comes to merch i do have a fucking merch company because i fucking hate dealing with money we have like clothing now but at first we were doing these cups and i just posted a video the other day of us trying to figure and she was like please god help me please like stress the fuck out i have anger issues literally i threw my own phone

which you should never do throw some other shit but like I threw my own phone I didn't edit like when I was aggressive when I was angry I was like ah so I was two seconds from throwing the printer because it wasn't working so I was like okay now you guys need help yeah we're not we can't do

for that. You guys don't want to be fucking doing tumblers on your own. Definitely get a company to do that because merch is just a fucking headache. It's a merch is like, how do I describe it? It's like a, um, I don't want to say it's a luxury, but it's like, it's a necessity within a business to have it, but you need somebody to run it for you because if not, you're going to fucking lose your mind trying to deal with it. Well, we just, we're literally actually going through something now where these people basically tried to play with our money and

for these merch shirts and like really damn they're trying to scam us so now they're trying to like take their money but it's like ten thousand dollars and like they're trying to play play us we don't have no merch from them now we have all our she's wearing one of our merch shirts but we have like a whole new company whole new shirts like all this stuff whatever but yeah they're trying to play with us and we're like oh my god this shit is fucking crazy like people really need a real merch company what is our merch company name

yeah we got a good one now for our friend heather sanders who has um sorella she has like a store that's been going on for years and she just hooked us up with them we're like oh my god she went to her in the first day right we should have i was wondering why we why we got an outside source when like la is like the murder you know what's crazy literally garment district right down the street freaking fashion district i literally was like oh i'm gonna help this small company out like i'm let me

Let me give them a payday real quick. Bitch, they tried to scam the fuck out of us. Yeah, they were like payday for themselves. I already bought the Tumblr stuff though, so I'm going to have to figure that out. We have the machine and everything, literally. You guys, go follow Shy's TikTok. She needs all the Tumblr help she can get, all right? Literally. Do you guys really think Drake has had a BBL?

yes yeah definitely really them abs came out of nowhere i didn't see them i've never seen him with a shirt off i've never looked though either so yeah he posted something with his shirt off i feel like it was like right off the table so you think he's had ab sketching i think so i would get abs i'm not judging him at all i would do it too yeah well i've had it done really really i know a lot of girls who've had it my doctor does abs sketching hella good but i didn't get abs sketching

I love it. I'll show you guys my stomach whenever I stand up. Oh my God, I remember this. I knew there was one girl who went and got ab sketching in freaking Mexico and she came back looking like Superman. That shit was terrible. That's a bit much. Yeah, it was bad. I feel bad when the girls... I feel like a six pack is too much. A four pack is cool. Yeah. We're just like a little...

Yeah, just that's what I did. I just did a little chiseling and that's it. Yeah, that's cute. I did this in 2015 though before everybody and their mom was doing it. So I didn't even know what the fuck my doctor was doing. He's like, yeah, just make me look good, please. Well, thank you guys for coming on the podcast. I'm so happy you guys came and I hope you guys come back and visit me every year and give me updates and all that jazz. Shout out where everybody can find you, your socials, your socials.

My Instagram is winter W I I N T R R. And our podcast is behind the likes podcast on Instagram. No, it's behind the likes pod. See, this is why we get so confused. Just Google behind the likes. Behind the likes pod on Instagram. TikTok, behind the likes pod, all that YouTube.

My Instagram is chy.f. So yeah, you can follow me on there. Follow us. And your Patreon. We already said that though. Our Patreon is behind the likes pod on Patreon. So yeah, tune into that. Yay. Thank you guys so much. Thank you. Thank you. Bye guys. Thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Dumb Blonde. I'll see you guys next week. Bye.