Weenie Boys and Disaster Sex Stories
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Let's talk about our favorite fall scents. I love marshmallows. I love the smell of s'mores. I love the smell of dark chocolate. I love the smell of rain on a dreary autumn night. Not a pumpkin spice latte fan, though. Sorry, ladies. But you want to know what's not on this list? B.O., let's face it.

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I wanna know why in the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the Bunny XO Show, we have Meet the D-Fords, we have Popaganda, we have more shows that we're adding and

And not to mention, we have the visuals of the podcast. Not only that, we have four tiers that caters to everybody's budget and everybody gets the podcast. There's no more excuses. Head over to www.patreon.com backslash dumb blonde podcast and sign up. Stop missing out. We have built a huge network.

community over there guys i'm talking about hundreds of thousands of people over there we even have live chats live chats that i actually am talking in every single night last but not least we give away gifts every freaking month i'm talking like signed stuff from jay and i lives you just never know what kind of surprise you're gonna get it's like a crackerjack box i love the community that we've built over there at patreon if you are already a patreon member

I freaking love you, dude. Thank you so much. You guys are my babies for life, my writers. If I could, I would literally make out with each and every one of you. I love you guys so much. And that's a lot of kisses, actually. Gotta go, bye.

Is this thing on?

Yep. I've got tuberculosis. What happened, dude? Listen, let me tell you one thing about Mimi. She if she's going to get sick, she's going to get really fucking sick and it's going to be with some weird shit. It's never anything normal. It's never fucking like, hey, I have, you know, fucking a strep throat. Well, she always has that, too. But today you have what is it? Hand, foot and mouth, but a very extreme case of it.

Those fucking dirty little crotch goblins you got, bro. Gross. Poor baby. But you look beautiful. I think you look great. You're so sweet. You do, Mimi. Yeah.

Tasha Lama, what's going on over there with you? You're having your first viral video. Got five million views. Overnight. And people are really being rude. It's very disturbing, you know? Yeah, it's crazy. And they all hide behind the guise of, well, you put your life on the Internet, so you deserve to be

Bullied or you should be able to handle this and I had some girl posted something the other day and I was so legit and she's Like I'm tired of motherfuckers saying that she's like no we know we don't you don't have millions of people the mind cannot comprehend so much negativity and you don't have so many thousands upon thousands of people Saying things to you, you know, of course It's easy for somebody who doesn't have a following to say that but somebody who has a following of you know Like thousands of people it's it's a lot to take on and

Well, someone posting a video is an excuse to be a dick. Right. It's not an excuse to be abusive. Yeah. Bullying is abusive. I remember when Tasha first came on the scene, I was telling her, I was like, yeah, I was like, she's like, you know, you, you've created such a beautiful thing and blah, blah, blah. And I was like, yeah, it's awesome. I was like, but with all beautiful things comes people that want to tear it down. And she's like, no, it's okay. You know, just don't just pay attention to all the good. And I'm like,

How's that going for you, Tosh? Well, it's out the window now. Once you get in it and it gets shit gets real, it's fucking it's a lot, man. Yeah, I just can't believe that people don't build each other up. You know, yeah, nobody's kind anymore. Yeah, it's fucking weird. It's almost like trolls love to say bad things because they want that response.

Half the time that you do, I feel like, respond to people, they're like, oh, I was just trying to get a reaction out of you. You have millions of followers. Why are you paying attention to something I said? Because, motherfucker, I opened my app and your comment was the first comment that popped up in my feed. That's why now I just fucking... I don't even fucking...

respond to anybody good or bad because it's like you can't win there's just a literal losing battle no matter what because there's so many hateful angry people in this world I don't get it I don't get it either

I'm ovulating today. Does anybody get depressed when they ovulate? Mm-hmm. I looked over at Mimi because I was like, yep, I know. But it's crazy because during ovulation, isn't it like when you're supposed to feel like the sexiest and you're supposed to like want to? No. No. I'm not.

I thought it was though. Cause that's like when you're supposed to get pregnant. So like your loins are quivering, your vagina's wet, like everything's fucking great. And, but I'm swollen and angry and pissed off and sad. I got the sad. I'm a baddie. That's got saddies. I don't, I don't understand it. Literally. I'm like, I woke up today and I'm like, I'm sad. I just want to lay by the pool and meditate, you know, whenever I get like this.

I don't know. What do you guys do whenever you're ovulating? I don't feel like I even know I'm ovulating. I know. We got to get you back on track with your periods. I have PCOS, so it's... I can't even tell you the last time I had a period. It was probably like March, April. Did you... God. I know. I couldn't imagine. But that's been like that since high school.

But that can't be good, right? Like, aren't you? Isn't your body supposed to release a period and like an egg and stuff like that? It's supposed to, but when you have PCOS, it doesn't. Yeah. Doesn't semi-glutide help with that? Yeah, I'm going to get back on it for tour. How's your journey with semi-glutide going, memes? My shit is regular as regular gets. I love that for you. How much weight have you lost? Well, since I've been sick, I just lost like three more pounds. So like 41 pounds.

Yay. If I could lose 41 pounds, I would be happy. There would be nothing left of you. No, I am 160 pounds. I would be, if I lost 40 pounds, I would be what, 120? No. You can't go by weight. You have a butt. I want to look like Skeletor. No, you don't. Nothing tastes as good as being skinny. What'd you say? Shut up. No, I'm serious. You are skinny. You just have a butt. I'm dead serious about it.

So Vegas. Should we get into Vegas? Good old Vegas. I never want to go back. I never want to go back. I still have PTSD. So we just went to Vegas and...

You know, Tasha's getting back in the groove. We wanted to, you know, initiate her back into the crew. So we went and got tattoos. And Tasha and I, when we were growing up, used to work at a place called Olympic Gardens. And when you work at worked at Olympic Gardens, it was downstairs was females. Upstairs was males. We used to call the male dancers weenie boys.

And every night after work, we would creep upstairs to go get some balls in our face because they were our friends. And back then they were like striking young lads and like fucking had routines. And like, I don't know, maybe it's different because they were all our friends, but like it was just a very joyous, memorable time for us. Every night was joyous. I humped one of the weenie boys one time. His name was Carlos Asada. Oh God, yes.

And Carlos Asada made me puke. Okay. It ruined, it ruined me for weenie boys. I literally hooked up with this dude and I went down on him and all I could smell was like cum and tequila. Okay. And I was drinking a lot that night. So I,

You know, we finished doing the deed, whatever. And I'm driving home on the freeway and literally I start projectile vomiting while I'm driving with one hand looking for a fucking trash bag with another hand. And I grabbed this grocery bag off the floor and I'm just fucking vomiting my brains out in this bag while I'm driving down the 215 in Las Vegas at six o'clock in the morning. I never pursued another weenie boy after that.

It was not fun. That was disgusting. I just ruined it. But other than that, they were our friends and we loved them, right? Yeah, they were great entertainers. I'm glad you guys had a great time. We had a special song for them too. Balls in your face go round and round, round and round, round and round. Balls in your face go round and round all night long. So anyways, we...

And looking back on those fond memories, Tasha was like, I want to go see weenie boys. And I was like, you know what? I haven't seen weenie boys in so long. I was like, let's fucking go see some weenie boys. So apparently there's a shit ton of male reviews in Las Vegas that we didn't know. But there's a new one out. I don't know if we should say the name because are we going to talk good about it or bad about it? No. So we're not going to say the name. But we went to one of them.

And the men are gorgeous. They're beautiful, but it just didn't have the, you guys tell us about your experience. It was so weird. It was weird. We got to start about the night. There wasn't a lot of people there either, which made it also awkward. And we were front row. What? Tell them about, tell them about your dream before we do this. It wasn't a dream. It was a nightmare. And in my nightmare, it,

Um, everyone was getting a lap dance and I kept saying, no, I don't want one. And this guy came up to me and forced me to have a lap dance. And he fingered me through my jeans. I don't even wear jeans, but he was fingering me through my jeans. I could feel it in my dream. And I was yelling. I was like, no, stop. And I was like, he finally got off and then just left me there. Left me. Used and abused, baby. It was terrifying. I woke up in a sweat.

So she has this dream before we go because that's how nervous she is about going. Tasha and I are like, whatever. But what happened with Bunny? Should we say that? Yeah, I don't care. Okay. Well, and then they came up to Bunny and said, do you want to get fucked? And she said, is it hard? And they said, yes. And then she went off. That was the end of the dream. Off into the land of weenie boys.

I was like, that sounds pretty realistic, but no, I'm just totally kidding. But, um, so I have a friend that works there. We'll refer to him as street meat. We, he's a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful man. He's gorgeous. I mean, none of us can deny that this dude is gorgeous. So I was like, you know what, Tosh? He's intense. I was not ready for that. He's intense. It might've been the eyebrows. It,

Anyways, I told Tasha, I'm like, I'm going to introduce you to my friend Street Meat. You're going to love him. I want you guys to go to VIP. Like I had plans for Tasha. I was like, all right, girl, we're going to fucking you want to get back in the loop. We're going to fucking throw you right back into the loop. Throw me to the wolves. I was not ready for that. That's not I you know, you said put my little toe in the water. That was not. Are you cannonballed?

Yeah. Cannonball. Balls deep. So anyways, so anyways, we walk in and it's like, first of all, one thing I hate about Vegas is you're allowed to smoke.

In these fucking places, like cigarettes. And I'm just like, I don't know. Maybe I've been in Nashville too long. I'm just like, ew. As soon as I walk in and there's cigarette smoke, there's nothing fucking cool about it. I'm like, I don't want to breathe in your secondhand smoke because you want to wreck your fucking body, you know? So this lady next to me is just fucking the ostrich. She was like this the whole night. This lady.

this lady we can we nicknamed her the ostrich not because not to be mean it was the way she was turned around she was looking at us she would make eye contact with me and would not fucking stop staring at me and i would like she would like her eyes were like this her eyes were huge and like she would just turn around

She had a long neck. I think that's what it was. And stare at me. And I'm just like this. And I'm like, Haley. Haley. You can't tell me to look at stuff like that because I will bust up laughing. I'm like, Haley, is this, this lady's staring at me? And Haley's like, yep, she is. And we just fucking bust up laughing because she was doing it the whole night. But anyways, so we walk in. Street meets nowhere to be found. Oh.

We don't know where he's at. And we walk in, they give us like a booth that's right literally next to the stage. It's like a VIP booth. It was a lot smaller in there. Smaller and there was not a lot of people. Yeah. A little awkward. So we walk in there, we're fucking right next to the stage. And I'm like, all right, we need to go get some money because we got to tip, you know, like we can't just be sitting here fucking not tipping the hose. We have to just get to going. We got to get Tasha back in the game.

So we go up to the ATM, we get some money out and street meat makes an appearance. And I think he came out and he said hi to everybody. Right. And then he was like next step on stage. I tried not to look. Hey,

Haley sat in the corner the whole fucking time and would not... I was like, Haley, let me get you a lap dance. And she's like, no, no. I'm like, all right, fine. I genuinely feared for my life. I can tell when Haley's being serious and when she's not being serious. Mimi was just up with fucking Maui because we had security there and everything. So Mimi is just fucking...

One by one, you guys kept getting off the bench. And then there was me and Tasha left. And I looked at Tasha and I said, I'm sorry. I'm not sitting here. And I went and hid behind the bench too. And then I was alone. With all the weird boys. Well, you just skipped over a huge part. I don't want to talk about it. But anyways, is Mimi all right? Was she over there laughing or is she dying? She's laughing.

To be both. Fucking laughing, dude. I can't. I'm reliving this whole experience. No, I did not want to relive this. So this could be the last time we talk about it. So street meat comes on stage and it go ahead. I've talked enough. You guys talk about the street meat experience. He did put on a good show. I will say he's very talented, but

But keep it on the stage. Stay over there. He put his belt on the table in front of me. It was touching my phone at one point. I remember I looked over at you and I was like, his belt is touching my phone. She lost it. It was scary. It was the eye contact.

He put it around my neck, the belt. It was on the table. He put it around my neck, and I was in fear. I can't believe we used to love going in, you know what I mean? Yeah. Because it was uncomfortable. And then he did a handstand, or like a headstand. His head was right here, flipped his straight-up butt and balls in my face, almost takes Maui out, and he's grinding. I'm like, oh, no. And then he, I don't know how the fuck.

fuck he did this he grabs my hand and puts it on his sweaty nuts down his hands and I'm like no please and I'm help help like there's no help everybody's just looking at me I left I left that was terrifying and then you said I need to go to VIP with street meat and

And I would have a panic attack in a dark room with that guy. I was not ready for that. Wait, you went? No. No, she was fighting with me. I was like, Tasha, this is your chance right now. Go into VIP. Little sucky sucky. You know, just go start your dreams. Kick off your single life, you know? Tasha was like, bitch, I am not going. I was like, motherfucker, what did we come here for? I'll do anything but that, please. I'm sorry.

And I feel like he was on stage for literally an hour and a half. Oh, it never ended. It was like he was grinding. He was staring. What were you saying? It was the eye contact. It was the constant like. And every time he would look, I would look over at Haley. It was like a dog when they got in trouble and you were like scolding them. They'd be like this.

Every time he was like trying to make eye contact I would be like So how you doing I just I don't know I don't know how we used to I don't know in our 20s maybe it was different And we just were hornier I don't know I'm pretty fucking horny I'm definitely more horny now I think maybe we were just fucking We also were sober

Okay. Let's, let's point that out here. We, anytime we used to go watch the weenie boys, we would be coming off a full shift of making thousands of dollars and fucking drunk as shit. I feel like it'd be different if there was a lot more people there and we were all drunk. Yeah. Super drunk. Then I feel like,

No. You know what I loved though is that there were women there that actually really soaked it up and like they needed that. You could tell those women like that was what they were there for and like there was one lady who was wearing like this cute little sundress and she would like drape herself across the stage and these guys would

manhandle her and she fucking loved it and it brought so much joy to her that that made me happy that it brought so much joy to her I was like you know what baby girl go stay on that side of the stage keep going over there to her let's talk about our favorite fall scents I love marshmallows I love the smell of s'mores I love the smell of dark chocolate I love the smell of rain on a dreary autumn night not a pumpkin spice latte fan though sorry ladies

But you want to know what's not on this list? B.O. Let's face it, summer isn't the only time we get body odor. We can get just as smelly under our favorite fall sweaters. That's why I'm excited to tell you about Lume's Whole Body Deodorant for pits, privates, and beyond. As a special offer, new customers get 15% off all Lume products with our exclusive code. Use code BUNNIEXO, B-U-N-N-I-E-X-O, baby.

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appointments. You guys know I absolutely hate going to the doctor. So if I can get a tele doctor, I'm all for it. I use them. You should too. You guys know I have anxiety. So I absolutely love the comfort of being able to be in my own home and do it from an app. It's absolutely seamless.

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That was better. We love the girls. It's a breath of fresh air. No, it literally felt like home. Yeah. We just sat down and all the girls were... Are we going to skip over the part where they turned on Jelly's song? Oh! How could we forget? Oh. So I'm sitting there... An old baseball boy came out. So I'm sitting there and we're just enjoying the view, kind of. And all of a sudden I hear very familiar guitars. And I'm like...

This man is in a G string showing his buttocks. And all of a sudden I hear my husband's voice loud and clear. What song was it? Empty house. And I'm just like, I look over and everybody's like, everyone's staring, just staring at me, smiling. And I'm like,

I love my husband, but come on. I don't want to see fucking half naked dudes to jelly roll. And I even, I even texted my husband and I was like, babe, I can't escape you. I'm in literally in a fucking strip club right now. And they're playing your song and Jay's like, go motherfuckers go. Like he thought it was hilarious. And then we go downstairs to the girls section.

Having a blast. Next thing I know, I look up on the fucking TVs. My husband is baptizing people while there's fucking chicks.

upside down on a pole and i thought it was sweet like it was a sweet gesture they were just maybe not the right song yeah it was it was a video even angels cry maybe not put the video on the screen and i mean there's a girl doing a plie on a pole you know and he's in church he's in church praying and i'm just like babe i can't make this shit up like this is fucking i wish we could film in here because this would have been a fucking amazing segment for bunny xo but

It was sweet. They tried to show us so much love there and, you know, we appreciated it. But I don't know. I just think we're not weenie boy people anymore. You looked at me and said, what happened to us? And I'm like, I don't know. Because I really wanted to, you know, get back to a little bit like I used to be. You know, I thought I was, I hyped myself up. She had been hyping me up all week and I realized, man.

It's crazy because there's sometimes that I mourn the girl that I used to be because I do miss that party girl sometimes that, like, didn't give a fuck and just was the life of the party. And, you know, like, I snap my fingers and trucking shit happens, you know? And now I'm just so, like...

OCD. And so like, you know, like to myself and everything has to like I have to be in my comfortable bubble because once I had a panic attack walking into a strip club like who what the fuck I used to work in them, you know, like the thousands of people that I've danced for and touched and fucking been around. And then now I can't even walk into a strip club without having a panic attack and wanting to run out.

I think the one that enjoyed it the most was Jaime, honestly. So we learned. Confirmed. Yeah. So we learned a little bit of information about our new videographer, Jaime. Not only was Jaime super stoked to go to the Weenie Boys. Go ahead, Jaime. Tell us what you told us. Back, you know, about 20 pounds ago, that was going to be the direction of my career there, was going to be a Weenie Boy. Gosh.

So you were going to be a street meat. I was the streetest meat of them all. The meatiest street of them all. I had a couple of nicknames, you know, that I thought about. Wait, what are your nicknames? I didn't hear this. Please tell me. One was Romando. Romando. That sounds like a cheese. Yeah. No, I wanted people to. Can I have some of the lasagna with the Romando cheese, please? Yeah. And my whole gimmick was going to be like, you know, Olive Garden, they have the.

The cheese. I was going to bring one of those out and just kind of break it on the ground. And just pour it all over your body? Yeah. Make them lick it off the cracks? I love that. I'm kind of into that. I think I would have been more excited about that. Yeah. I mean, I think the reason they also kept staring at our group was because I didn't break eye contact. Okay. So.

They had good eyebrows. The majority of them did. The best eyebrows. They did. I was like, those are good eyebrows. But I think I was sending the wrong message. No wonder they kept looking over. It wasn't to us. I thought they were looking at us. They're really looking at Jaime. But then Maui made a good point. He said, because we tried to look at it as like, how can we make this not awkward for two fairly straight males? Poor Maui. I think Maui disagreed. They were like,

They're athletic. Poor Maui. Maui's like, I'm like, Maui, I love you. You really don't have to come in the strip club with us if you don't want to. He's like, no, I go with you. I'm like, okay, all right, Maui. I'm just letting you know you don't have to be here if you don't want to. And he's like, no, I go. It was fun. And then Charlie Classic showed up, which he's always a joy. We love Charlie. But yeah, it was definitely an experience that I'm probably never going to repeat. I just don't, I don't, I think...

I think at my age, our age now, and you'll get there soon too, but I think you're actually getting there. It's like if something doesn't have a purpose or bring me joy or serve me any sort of reasoning, why the fuck am I going to be there or go? You know, like, I don't know. I just, I grew up.

I grew up. We all grew up. I love it. That's what it is. Mimi, what did you think about it? Mimi's friend, though. Are we going to talk about Mimi's friend's mom that did get a lap dance next to us? Oh, so I brought some friends. Yeah. So, Mimi, let me just tell you something about Mimi really quick. It doesn't matter what city we're in. It could be the weirdest of circumstances, like being in a strip club in the middle of Vegas. Mimi has friends everywhere that just show up at random fucking places. Mm-hmm.

Oh yeah, they were actually downstairs with the girls. And I was like, hey, where would the dudes come upstairs? And then when they got there, realized they had brought their mom. And it was her first time at a strip club. So they went all out. They went and got some money for her and called one of the guys over.

He put her in a chair and he went to town on her. He was doing this with her tits at one time I looked over. I was like, wow. You're literally paying to get fondled, which I mean, I don't mind. She probably liked it. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Oh, she said her legs were sore. Oh.

She hadn't opened them up that far in a long time. Oh, wow. Mom was getting it. Listen, I love the fact that weenie boys bring joy to people like that. Not to us, but to others. We're just a bunch of weird fucking...

neurodivergent is that what it's called yeah yeah with anxiety and just a bunch of weird tics so it was fun to get to watch other people find joy in it you know and to figure out how we found joy in it and I think we're still trying to figure it out but I think the big thing is is we were sober I found joy in it by leaving yeah

Literally. Our joy was going home and eating. Yeah. We were going to our favorite place ever to get food. Yeah. Yeah. We had gone to the Morgan. We had been, it was a long day. It was. We had literally done the Morgan Wallen concert and we did the Morgan Wallen walkout. It is baffling to me how many people did not know who I was imitating.

In that TikTok that I did. That or the whole, she's throwing up devil signs when you were flicking your eyebrows. Have you guys ever seen a cartoon character when they lick their hands and then they go like that? I think even Jim Carrey does it. Yes. I don't understand how this is devil horns unless I were to go like this, you know? I was like, like that. People will look at anything. Yeah. And people were like, this is the best WWE walkout. And I'm like, this is, do you guys not watch Morgan Wallen do his freaking walkouts?

Oh, look at him. Hi, Blue. Oh, Chachi's like, who? Look at Chachi. He's not excited. Look at your cousin, Chach. Chino, look at your cousin. He's scared. Look at your cousin. Do you see him?

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So moving on from the weenie boys, you had a Halloween party, a little going away. Halloween. I did. It was like a housewarming slash Halloween slash going away. Party was great. Who was there?

I had a lot of people. All my closest friends. Chelsea Lynn came. That was great. Caitlin, Amber. I thought you guys were going to come, but... Mimi has the measles and I'm depressed. Yeah, it's okay. You were there in spirit. Yeah, for sure. It was a grand old time. It was nice. You're the only person I know that has a fucking Halloween party in August, but I love it. I'm down with it. I think it's amazing. I loved it. I have to have Haley tell...

The story about when she was a werewolf. I didn't think we were going to bring that up, Mimi. Oh, yeah. Let's talk about it. Oh, we're bringing it up. I'm pretty sure that was like the last Halloween party I even went to. It was like...

2017, maybe, era. Whoa, okay. So it might have been 2016. And I had dressed up as a werewolf. Full-on face paint, everything. You could not tell who I was. Yellow contacts, everything. And I went to a Halloween party. Full-on werewolf, okay? It was my first, like, Halloween party. It was at this apartment complex. It was the first time I ever, like...

I was drunk enough to where I was making out with girls. And I was in the bathroom with one and we were like, yeah, we were kissing and she literally pulled back and was like, this is your first time, is it? Isn't it? And I was like, I was like, yeah, I think I'm going to go get a drink. And I fled. I could not do it. And then...

Hold on. Let's just pause right there really quick because Haley goes through these phases where she thinks she's a lesbian. And I'm fine with it because I'm just like, if you're a lesbian, be a fucking lesbian. But she literally will swear like I'm going to date females. And I'm like, Haley, you could never.

And she's like, yeah, she'll straight up be like, yes, I can. I can. She's fine. She's the, and I'll be like, okay. And then literally appreciate a woman's beauty. And I think that's, I love bitches, but I'm not going to be with one, you know, like I fucking love females. I love their bodies. I love everything about them. I will make out with them. I will love them and squeeze them, but I'm not going to be with one. No, I just, I love flesh on mesh penises.

Well, so do I. It was a phase recently, too. Yeah, I know. It comes and goes. Because it's gone. Yeah, it comes and goes. It's gone. So go ahead. So clearly I'm not a lesbian because I immediately went and found a guy. And...

We did it in the front seat of his yellow Challenger outside in the parking lot of this apartment complex. Full werewolf paint and yellow contacts. And my contacts match the color of his Challenger. What's hot about that? What was he dressed like? I don't remember. Oh.

I don't remember. All I remember is that I'm in, I had black lipstick on. And yellow contacts? Yes. Full werewolf. He definitely was knocking something off the bucket list. Probably. So he probably tells everybody, bro, I fucked this bitch on Halloween one night and I fucked a werewolf. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've done some weird shit, but normally when I'm dressed up in costumes getting banged, it's like,

Something cute. Nope. My Halloween costumes are never cute and sexy. I was Kevin James. If you guys didn't see that. Kevin James doesn't wear a full face of fucking makeup. Kevin does. No. Okay.

This Kevin does. No, she's like, I still had to be myself. She posted on Tik TOK. I just sneezed my eyelash off. She posted on Tik TOK. She's like, can you tell that I'm Kevin James? And I'm like, no, cause Kevin James doesn't. I thought she was fucking Sue Dillon. I didn't know. I was like, I was a Taylor. I thought I was gypsy Rose's mom. That too. Like I was like, no, Kevin James doesn't wear. And she says to me, it was the shrug. I'm like, it was the, I'm like,

I'm like, nobody know. I mean, they know the shrug, but nobody was going to put two and two together. That's why, look, it's still my screensaver. She's so proud of it. The screensaver actually looks like Kevin James. Is that you or Kevin James? It is Kevin James. Okay. I was like, damn. I love Kevin James. I don't got my glasses on. I couldn't see. Love you. I love it. Well, anybody else been fucked in an ugly Halloween costume? Tasha, have you? No. You always wear cute Halloween costumes.

Mimi, what about you? No. Damn. I'm a? I don't recall, but no. He's like, I plead the fifth. I plead the fifth. It was during my hoe phase. Listen, I wish you would go back into your hoe phase. Mimi and I were talking about that last week on the Ask, Tell, Confess that we do. No. I was like, we miss Haley just fucking. My stories. I had some good stories. Yeah. You had some really good stories. I think I'm asexual.

I think you're just going through a phase. Maybe we busted out during tour. No. Oh, we were talking about putting you and Tasha on one of the dating apps while we're on tour so that we can like, you know, start scouring the cities. We've done that. Me and Mimi have done that and it is not great. So tell them what you guys used to do. We'll be in better towns now. Tell them what you guys used to do. Nope. Tell them what you guys used to do.

Tell them. Nope. Tell them. Nope. How you guys would... Oh, I will. Okay, so we used to set the location to whatever little small town where we were in, and then we would swipe to see if they were Jelly Roll fans or not. It was when we were on tour with Brantley, and we would literally be able to tell who was a Jelly fan and who was a Brantley fan. Yeah. No, it was awesome. That was the entire town. But Hailey was also trolling for dick, so...

It was like a win-win situation. I never got one either. No, you never did. You trolled, but you never did. Tasha, would you be open to that? I'm scared of that. Like, that's serial killers. You know what I mean? You just can't trust anybody anymore. What'd you say? Can't go looking for trouble. Oh.

Oh, you're going to play with fire. You're going to get burned. Can't you just meet people the old-fashioned way anymore? It doesn't work anymore. I don't feel like people... I don't want to leave my house, so I don't know how I'm supposed to meet someone. Do people do that anymore? Like, how did we meet the old-fashioned way in bars? Yeah. That's how I met people. How did you meet people? In church? Well, that would always blow up, too. Yeah. I feel like they're the craziest ones. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

I don't know. I don't know where people go like that are single now to go and fucking a lot of it's online. I've done when I was doing wedding makeup. I had a few weddings that were they met on Tinder or Hinge or something. They're still married.

I love that. Yeah. Good for them. Cause it didn't work out for me happily ever after swipe. I'm pretty sure the last time I had it, I deleted it because a guy on there was like shit on your couch. Well, that too, um, that, that too. I still had it after that. And it was a guy that said, I'm sure guys just want to talk to you for jelly roll, but I'm not going to do that. And I was like,

Thought never crossed my mind until now. And then I deleted it. Yeah. Should we tell the shit story again? I feel like, I feel like we have touched on that. No, only on other people's podcasts, not on mine. There's a, what'd you say? Memes. I said, so tell them about the shit story. Haley.

I mean, I was talking to a guy for a few weeks. Couple. She really liked this one. She really did. And this was like what I was kind of manifesting to. And I was like, oh, everything's working out. You know, everything's good. And then one night, the last night I ever saw him, he came over and we did some things. And he I already knew he had to leave to get up early for work. And when he stood up.

Afterwards, I noticed something. I had pink lights on, so you really couldn't see what color things were. I noticed something dark on my couch. In my head, I was like, oh, damn, that's Luna's fur. That's embarrassing. I thought it was just behind a pillow or something. He leaves. He stands up, and then he sits back down really quick to grab his stuff off the table. I'm like, what are you doing? He's like, oh, I'm just getting my stuff off the table. I'm like, you can't just bend down and pick it up. That was already weird.

And then he like leaves immediately. And then I turn on the lights and it was three skid marks on my couch. One was long and then it was two little like stamps. Two little like butthole stamps.

Yep. And I was like, no fucking way. It took me a hot minute to process it. And I was like, maybe it's Nutella because I was eating. I had those like siete churro strips and Nutella on my couch the night before. So I was like, maybe it was Nutella.

And I couldn't smell anything. She scratched and sniffed it. I didn't scratch anything. To be clear. She did the old. No, I did not. No, I did not. Yeah. I was just like, no, this can't be real. I didn't smell anything. I didn't smell anything when it was happening either. My thing is, is how dirty is your asshole if you can't even get ridden? Did you ride him? No. Oh, so that's just from sitting up.

There wasn't even any friction to cause the doo-doo. Well, I was performing acts of service. I mean, but what was he doing? Like moving his hips like that? Literally. Maybe. I don't know. I don't know. I try to block that from my memory.

And the worst thing is, is I'm like, Haley, let me call this man and just prank him. I just want to be like, I know you shit on her couch. You know, she'll never know. He'll never know who it is. And she will, she will not let me do it. I'm like one of these times when she's asleep on right now. No, he's blocked. His number's gone. I couldn't tell you. It's all right. I'll figure it out. We're going to get her phone and we're going to literally get this dude on tour. He's erased. Yeah.

Because he had the nerve to give me attitude the next day. Like he was short with me. Talk about the ultimate gaslight. You fucking leave shit stains on somebody's couch and then you're mean to them for no fucking reason because you know you shit on their couch. Yep. It's crazy. Yep. Jaime, have you ever shit on someone's couch? No. Do you ever? No, I don't think. No. On the bed? Anything? I've trusted a fart, but that's like... I shit one time. Yeah.

I shit one time too. I trust you. It happens. I had little poop balls. You just ditch the underwear and then you're good. Yeah. It's fine. I understand that. Yeah. Didn't you have a run in with a skid mark? Yes. I've done some weird shit. I can't remember all of it. Where the guy slid and there was a skid mark on his sheets. Oh, yeah. That was, I was getting paid for that though. So I tolerated it. Mine was free. Yeah.

I still have the video of it and everything on mine. Do you have any horror dating stories for sex stories? Taj, I know you do. Think of one. Uh, no, no, I'm pretty, um, pretty safe. I would say. Really? Yeah. Not one. Any that have caused you to be celibate? Cause I've been celibate since then. Any that have caused you pain? Trauma. Trauma. Uh,

No. Can't recall. Damn. Must be nice. How are you going to be a woman, boy? Oh, must be nice. And you don't even have any traumatic sex stories. Good point. I don't know. That's probably why I never followed. Tasha, let me hear. I know you got one. The reason why I'm celibate? Oh, yes, yes, yes. Okay, so what? I've been single for like seven years. This one young lad was chasing me around for a little bit, and we started messing around.

He's on top of me and he gets one little stroke in and he like goes stiff. And I'm like looking at him and he is buff. I mean, he is in shape, everything. All of a sudden there's something warm on my head dripping. Oh,

He gets a bloody nose on me and my blonde hair. I thought this dude was going to die. Like I was so scared. Like it tripped me out bad. So I haven't done anything since. And I just, I was like, you know what? That was a sign, you know? So you've been celibate since then? Seven years?

In seven years, one time. And it was that. The last time I was celibate was another horror story. I was celibate for almost two years. I was talking to a guy for only a week, and he was fresh out of prison. Should have been red flag number one. Haley has a type. Yeah. Should have been red flag. He also had a yellow car. I don't know if I had a thing for yellow cars. And...

I was already over this dude and he was already staying the night and I was just ready to go to bed. And I remember I was laying in bed and he texted me to come downstairs to do stuff to him. And I was like, you're a dick. And I put my phone down, went to bed. I was woken up at about three in the morning to my bed shaking. I opened my eyes and he is jacking off next to me watching Family Guy porn on full volume.

While you're sleeping. While I'm sleeping. Like you wouldn't know that he was jacking off next to him. Yep. While I'm sleeping. I literally, I didn't even, I had a fake that I was asleep because I was like, please God, just let this end. But wasn't he switching back from family guy? Oh yeah, after family guy, he switched to Frozen. That's so weird. Like Elsa and Anna like,

Yeah, that's weird. I had a knife in my nightstand and I thought about it. So what did you say? Did you just go back to sleep? Yeah, I was frozen. Literally. I literally didn't know what to freaking do. So I just like waited it out. Did he come? I don't know. I shut my eyes. And then I remember at one point he woke me up with a flashlight and was like looking for something under my bed. Is he on crack? Probably. Probably.

Probably. He was probably looking where to wipe his fucking cum hand. So yeah, it was like 8 a.m. and I went and slept on the couch the rest of the night because then his snoring was so loud. I had to get up and leave. And then I was like, call fucking Uber, you're leaving. And blocked him and that's the end of that. And then I was celibate for two years. You never told him that you knew that he was whacking off to the fucking family guy? No.

How do you do that? I have to tell them how the fuck it is. I'm the type of person. You need to start calling these men out. Literally. I'm the type of person I literally just don't ever want to talk to you again.

I'm just, I'm a professional cutoffer. I admire that because I can't cut people off. I literally, you know that I won't tell you what you did so I can cut them off, but I will let them know why they're, why they're being cut off. You know, like, Hey, you did this and I'm not fucking with you again. You know, like that's how I can't just silent cutoff. I want my fuckers to know. I'm silent too. I don't like to talk. I don't either.

I don't know why. I just love it. I love to be like, you know what? You are the reason. Cause I don't like it to be left unsaid. Cause then it's unsaid for them, but not for me. Right. So I'm good. I just want to make sure motherfuckers know the reason I'm cutting them off is because of them. It's a you thing, not a me thing. You know, like you're getting cut off because you're a fucking weirdo. I'd have just been like, bro,

frozen well they know where i live too so i don't want to start any like beef or anything you know so it's just a silent cut off for me uh so weird i could just the dating scene now is just fucking insane shit it's crazy especially in nashville literally it's a shitty situation so moving on from disaster maybe do you have any disaster sex stories you want to talk about mm-hmm

I've been married way too long. I think we're good. What about the first night you did it? Or your wedding night? The night, yeah. Wait, we didn't, okay, fun fact, Jason and I didn't have sex on our wedding night. Because I got blackout drunk.

puked profusely and then as he tried to get me out of my dress he accidentally slipped dropped me half naked on the hotel floor and left me there what was the other time though where it was a little bit bloody oh we've already talked about that have we yeah we've talked about it yeah yeah I broke Jason's dick yeah I've had that happen too and it's just no if you guys want to know about those just go through past episodes there's

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So moving on from all the disaster dating stories, Tasha and I are opening up the gym, Sacred Heart. We found a location in Franklin, and we're starting renovation on this gym this week. And tell people about it, Tasha. It's going to be amazing. We're going to have a nice ring. Yep. Bag set up. We're going to be able to run a class, have people sparring. It's going to be really cool to teach in a different area.

and be able to build an amazing program. Yeah, it's awesome. We're running out of space from our friends Luke and Lisa who own Southside Strength in Franklin, Tennessee. So we're going to be...

um kind of we're still separate but conjoined with them so it's like if you want to do weight lifting on one side you can if you want to do cardio and boxing on the other side that's us and you know we're gonna have kids involved and it's just gonna be a really cool thing and i'm so excited about it it's taking a minute to get it off the ground but i told tasha i was like this shit's gonna move slow but once it's up it's just gonna be you know i'll i'll go from there are you guys gonna come box with us yeah

Hey, Mimi, are you going to come box? I've never boxed before. The only boxing I've done is drunk night outs at bars that have arcade games, and you, like, punch the thing. Yeah, I love those. What's your score whenever you punch them? It was around 600. See, I bet you you could box. I don't know. You're pretty athletic, though. I've never been in a fight, though. I am athletic, but I haven't been in a fight. You're pretty athletic, though, so I think that you would get it. And because you're pretty analytical, too.

So I think you would definitely get it. But yeah, we have decided on the name. It's going to be Sacred Heart. And I don't know, it should be opening in the next couple of months. We don't have an exact date, but when we do, of course, we'll let people know. But everybody in the Nashville area start getting excited because, you know, we're getting excited and we just want to make a difference in some kids' lives. And Tasha's a great coach, dude. And her lifelong dream has always been to teach kids. So...

Yeah. You were, cause you were running a place in Chicago. Yes. Yeah. She had the program out there, the boxing program, which I program built some really good fighters. Yeah. My kids program was, Oh my gosh, they were so good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Your kids and one of your kids though, like your real kids, uh, Sydney. No, no. It's a Brooklyn. Brooklyn's a little bad ass. They all fight. And you know what? I don't have to, I could say, Hey,

I'm going to give you a piece of gum. Go beat that kid up over there. They'll do it for a stick of gum. I mean, these kids love it. They love to learn. It's just they're fighters. They're excited. I'm excited too. I can't wait to get it off the ground. We are leaving for tour this weekend.

No, wait. Monday. We're leaving for tour on Monday. And we're going to be gone for three months, dude. I'm so excited. I can't. I'm ready for tour. Bro, me too. Our bus is so nice. Am I the only person who feels like 2024 has been a shit show? But it's been like a cool shit show. So it's like I'll have like really good moments and then I'll have like really weird moments. You know, like it's just been a fucking just weird thing.

dynamic this year weird summer it's the summers that are always weird that I've had to conquer every fear I've ever fucking had this year in a fucking three month time span dude I've fucking got you know the medical diagnosis had my ever I've repeated this a million times but 2024 has just been a strange fucking year and I don't know why if anybody knows why let me know a big test every I feel like I've been tested enough I'm good like 2025 can we just be fucking smooth sailing that's I'm ready I'm

I'm so ready. But tour, I feel like once we get on tour, it's like nothing else matters. And it's literally like just a breath of fresh air every day because we wake up in a new city. We get to meet people. We get to see daddy has a new show and it's insane. Like his one thing about my husband is every, um,

tour, he levels up as far as like his set goes and, and like, you know, the, um, the fire, the lights, the screens, and like, there's some really cool surprises. Tonight is the first night of his show in, uh, of the tour in, uh, Salt Lake City. Um,

And I'm telling you, like, I just can't wait for everybody to see this. I can't wait to start seeing the TikToks. I want to watch it from the crowd one night. Me and Mimi are going to go in disguise. No, I told you I want to do that. We're going to watch from the crowd. No, I think we can get, because we're playing arenas, I think we can get suites now. Ooh.

Yeah, so I think we'll be able to like either. Yeah, a lot of people think, you know, backstage side stage. It's way better, but you can't hear anything. You can't hear anything. You can't see anything. The fire is so freaking hot, dude. It's like almost catch on fire. No, we should put on disguises and go out into the crowd.

We should make that a TikTok. Me and Mimi put on fake beards. As long as Mimi covers her hair. Mustaches. Yeah, just put on like mustaches, beards, and wear hoods. Mimi has to cover her hair. I could bring my Kevin James wig. Yeah. The minute that green comes out. If I wear a hood, for sure. Yeah, but the minute that green comes out, people are going to know who you are. Yeah. I get recognized because of Mimi's hair. Literally. True. I could be completely under the radar. Nobody will even say anything to me, and they'll be like, hey, Mimi.

You know, and they like put it together and I'm like, hi, you know, it's that fucking hair, man. It just gives it away every time. Well, I love you guys and I'm glad we got to do this catch up. How do you feel about that memes? You did great. You did fantastic. Saying that much. It's time for tour babies. You guys ready? We got to go finish packing and get all our stuff together. And guess who else is going to be on tour?

This guy right here, baby. You ready to go on tour? You ready to go on tour? We love you guys so much. Thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Dumb Blonde. I will see you guys next week. Bye. Bye.

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