Trashley Part 2: Meeting Wifey, Sobriety, Healing
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What's up you sexy motherfuckers welcome to another episode of dumb blonde today I have a tick tock sensation in the mid. Do you want me to call you trash Lee or do you want me to call you Ashley. I'm happy to be here. He missed you know his turn. Wait a minute. You're supposed to turn right right here. He just kept going.

So I was about to reach for the handle and there was no fucking handle on the inside of the door. I remember he just kept, he didn't say one word to me. Like his complete, like his whole demeanor just changed. He ended up going to, I don't know where the hell it was, but it was out in the middle of nowhere. All I remember was like there were storage, you know, storage units. And... Is this thing on?

All right, gentlemen, coming to main stage next. This is Bunny. Get up there. She's got a tornado of titties coming your way. Get those dollar bills ready. She's got an ass that shakes like Michael J. Fox. So get up there and throw, throw, throw them dollars. Dude, that is fucking iconic. He, you know, raped me so many times. I don't know. I lost count how many times. And I was fighting back, you know, and I kept thinking, like, if I'm going to die, I'm going to die.

you know, fighting back. Yeah, for sure. Get his skin under your nails and shit. So that's exactly like I started, you know, hitting and screaming and punching. And, um, you know, there, I had scratches from, you know, him, you know, on my face. I remember I even scratched myself, you know,

And this happened. This went on for maybe like five or six hours. Oh, my God. And he was like, okay, well, I'm just done. I'm done. I'm done with you. I'm done with you. Just shut the fuck up. I'm going to take you back. I was like, okay. So I'm sitting there. And he was like, if you make one sound, I'm not going to take you back. So I just sat there and shut the fuck up. Yeah.

And he, you know, lets me out. And at this time, at this point, I was already on punishment, you know, with the halfway house because of a mix up with a check situation. So I was on restriction and I had to be back in the halfway house at right after, you know, like four o'clock, like four 30 was the latest. And at this point it was like either six or seven o'clock at night. And they probably think I went AWOL or something, but,

So I remember when he dropped me off, I was walking back and I was like crying and everything. I was like, what the fuck? I have to come up with an excuse. Like they're going to end up sending me back because this is my second violation. And my first violation was just like not even a whole week ago. And the house mom already doesn't like me.

So I remember walking in and thank God it was this one girl. I forget her name, but she was always so fucking nice to me. And I was like, oh, thank God. And that's exactly what I said when I saw her. I said, oh, thank God. And she's like, what the hell happened? Like she can tell like, you know, I, you know, something happened. Been through some shit.

But I didn't tell her what happened. I, you know, said, you know, I, after during my lunch break, I wasn't feeling good. I went, we can only go to one hospital at the time. Um, because you know, we're still property of the state. So I said I had either like a really bad ear infection or, um, a

a toothache or something, but I was like, I had to go get it checked out. And I wasn't really, wasn't feeling good. So I went there and it was a long ass wait. And when I was coming back, I got jumped. That's what I said. I got jumped by a couple of girls. I don't know where my papers are. I don't know if I left them at the hospital or anything. Um,

So she was like, okay. And she was like, well, let me, you know, I thought she was going to drug test me, but she didn't, but she had me below. And of course, you know, I don't drink, you know, at that time I gave up the alcohol. So,

You know, I blew and I was going to, you know, blue zero. And she was like, okay, well, she's like, I'm going to have to mention this to them. She's like, but I'm just going to say, you know, that you were at the hospital and you told me you were going. And, you know, because after when you're at the hospital, you have to call them to tell them. Yeah. And they have to come pick you up. So she's like, I'm just going to say that, you know, you forgot to call and you just, you know, walked back.

walked back. So that's why you were late. I'm like, okay, that's fine. And she did. She kept her promise. She didn't say anything. But that's a lot of trauma to fucking have to hold inside and not be able to tell anybody. Like that seems to be like your go-to is just to not tell anybody and to hold it inside. Yeah. I was used to it. Like, you know, anything that would happen, um,

Even to this day, like I, well, not so much, maybe not so much today, but. Do you feel like TikTok's been a little bit of therapy for you? Oh yeah. To be able to get out and talk about it. Have you ever really sat down and talked to anybody about your trauma and tried to sort through it? So when we, when we got sober and. We'll get to that too. We got sober in December, 2018, you know, we were at methadone clinic and I was

one of the stipulations is you have to do counseling. So I did counseling for like two and a half years. Um, but I didn't tell her anything. I'm

Now that I'm thinking of, you know, thinking back of it, I didn't tell her anything about my life. Yeah. I was, you know, passing drug tests. I was doing my groups and you're just kind of going through the motions. Yeah. And you weren't really. That's a lot of trauma. You're going to have to unpack it because I'm about to be 42. And literally for my birthday, I'm going to a retreat in Scottsdale to where they put you through therapy from Sunday to Sunday for seven days straight, 12 hours a day.

where you can just work through all of the shit that you've had to go through in life. Wait a minute. I think I heard about that. It's Marilyn Murray is the lady's name, who it's called the Murray Method.

I just, when you deal with so much trauma, like you have, and obviously like I have too, and you don't address it, it comes out in other ways in your life. I never dealt with depression until I hit 40 years old and it's been brutal the past fucking year and a half dealing with it. And I just don't want to deal with it anymore. Like I want to heal from it. I'm tired of all my trauma holding me back. So you'll get to that point in your life where you're just like, you know what? I want to go talk to somebody cause I'm ready to really heal. You know, us Aquarius says we think we can just do it on our

own. Yeah. We're gangster. Let me tell you something. I've thugged through it, but this shit I can't thug through telling you right now. So you have the Internet kind of in an uproar right now because of how many people you're saying that you slept with. Yeah. How many people is that? Close to 60,000. That's a fucking crazy number because I have fucked a lot of people, too. But that's really nice.

And mind you, like, obviously, I went to prison... Out of those 20 years, I went to prison for eight years. Right. But, I mean, that's not a lot. Like, when you are literally on the streets, working the streets, you're turning tricks, like, you know, 10, 15, 20 a day. Those are 20 different people a day. Yeah. So it's not...

And my wife knows about it. She did the same life, you know? I just... I believe you. I just think that it's... Because people that aren't in the life, they don't understand it, you know? And I thought that was... Out of all the things you've said, that's what the internet wants to fucking get hung up on? Right, I know. That's...

Like, she's fucking shitting diapers and fucking pretended she was dead. And you guys want to fucking trip over the number of people she slept with? She's told you that she's fucking been in the industry. Like, I just don't understand it. Right. So when did...

your drug addiction get really crazy? In November 2016. Okay. And you were out of the halfway house. Oh yeah. I was out of the halfway house. I married, I was married at this point. I already had my three other three babies. So you have five total or four? I have five total. Okay. So, you know, my son, he lives with his, you know, at the time he was living with his grandma. And then I had my four minor children. Okay.

And I was married, but our marriage was the shit, right? He slept upstairs. I was downstairs in the, well, your choice of men hasn't been great. And that's due to your trauma at all. So, um, at this point, after I had my last son, um, in March of 2015, I think I was going through a postpartum depression. I didn't even know. Um,

So I was loading up on Xanax, Klonopin, but my Suboxone doctor was prescribing it to me. Oh, yeah. They prescribed me Xanax, too. Yeah. Back in the day, that was, like, the go-to. Like, oh, you have this? Okay, here, take it. Yeah. Fucking pop a Xanax bar. If I popped a bar now, I'd probably fucking shit myself. Oh, my God. Like, there's no way I could fuck it. And I used to... One night, I took 15 bars in one night. I overdosed, of course, but, I mean, they...

we didn't know about Xanax back in the day like that, you know, like nobody educated us on it. Exactly. So we were kind of like the test monkeys. Yeah. Yeah. And I, I loved, I loved my Xanies. Nobody like, I, I absolutely loved them. And, um, I remember, um,

you know, after a year of, you know, my rendezvous with, you know, Zanny's, um, not my job was still on Suboxone. I ended up getting in contact with one of my cousin's, um, friends. Okay. His name was Mikos. And the day that I started hanging out with Mikos, my life completely turned upside down. It seemed like, you know, um,

The day that I hung out with him was in November of 2016. It was like a week before Thanksgiving. And I smoked meth. Yeah. Well, I didn't smoke it then. I had a rendezvous with meth too. Yeah. That was like our drugs of choice back then. Yeah. Thank God there was no fentanyl because I would have probably ended up fucking hurting myself. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, I...

I guess I just fell in love with meth like that. I loved it. And it was weird because, uh, the people that I was smoking around with, I was the only one laugh. I would laugh so much, so hard. I don't know why, but it was, it was fucking weird, but I would just laugh for hours and hours and hours every time I smoked meth. So like, I, I enjoyed myself and, and, um, you know, I remember, um,

I'm thinking like I, and I left for a week. I left my kids at home. I left my husband, my husband at home. Um, but I didn't feel bad about him. I felt bad about my kids. Yeah. So I'm like, I told Miko, so I'm like, I'm like, I have to go back home. Like, you know, I miss my kids and blah, blah, blah. And,

So a tweaker world is a whole different world. Yeah. Oh yeah. And so I, I, um, my husband knew that I was sleeping with, you know, this guy, you know, and I texted him, I said, look, I'm, I'm not coming back home until you leave. Because at this point I tried to leave him like three or four times in the past.

And he would always say that he was going to kill himself. So I would always stay around because I didn't want that to happen. Not that I cared. I mean, it was just a form of manipulation. Yeah. I just cared about my kids' feelings. I didn't want their feelings hurt. So, um, I remember, you know, texting him like, I'm not coming back until you leave. So he texts me back a couple hours later. It's like, all right, my mom's coming to pick me up, you know, come down here. Cause the kids are going to be home by themselves.

So I, Miko's, I tell him, well, let's go. And he's like, are you serious? I'm like, yeah, let's just go. So we ended up going down to my house and then husband was walking out the front door. And then my then boyfriend was walking in the back door.

Um, all my kids were still up and, uh, my oldest daughter was so glad that my husband had left. Like she did not like him. Was he abusive? Yeah. But he, he was more like, um,

you know, go to your room, stay in your room kind of thing. You know what I mean? Like he, um, and it got to the point to where I just got so fucking sick and tired of it. And that's when I tried to leave him so many times and then he would make me feel bad. You know what I mean? So, um, when I left for the week, I just,

I was not planning on coming back until he fucking left. There was no way that I could do it. Cause I felt like he literally drove me crazy. Like I really feel like he really did. Yeah. Um, so when Miko's moved in, that's when, you know, I started smoking meth every single day, all day smoking crack, doing Coke. Eventually. And you were still turning tricks. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. It was not me. That was Chachi. Yeah.

That's how he feels about crack. Okay. So you were still turning tricks. Yeah. And, um, and then when did you lose custody of your kids? So I lost custody four months later in April of 2017. Okay. Um, when did you and wifey meet? We,

We met in October of 2018. Okay, gotcha. Two weeks after I got out of prison. Okay, so you lost custody of the kids. And then where is Ashley at now? So I lost custody of them because I ended up going to jail. So I didn't actually lose custody. But what happened was Children's Services came because they knew I had warrants out. The police...

unfortunately knew me. The sheriff knew me. I had warrants for child endangerment because a month before then I was pregnant and I went to the hospital cause I was having a miscarriage and my, and Miko's, he was there supposed to watch my kids. He wasn't watching them. He fell asleep and it was fucking winter and my kids were outside. So the police were called. So I get charged with child endangerment. So did he though. But, um,

So, children's services came because they knew that I didn't have no family to take the kids. So, they're like, well, you know, somebody needs to take the kids. So, Michael came, got the kids. So, I still had custody, but he just had them because, you know, I was in jail. So, at this point, between, like, April 2017 until December 2017, I was in and out of jail. Like, in jail for a month, get out for a couple weeks, in jail for a month, that sort of thing. Right. So, then...

17 or December 2017 comes around. Um, and that's when my brother gets out of prison. He gets out December 20,

The one that molested you? Yeah. Okay. He was in there for eight years. So he gets out. He goes to my aunt's house the very next day after he gets out. I did see him the day that he gets out at my aunt's house. And the very next day, I, for some reason, my PO decided to do a house check at my aunt's house out of nowhere. And

And my aunt called on me. I know she did. Yeah. Because I had horns out and she knew, which is fine. I'm glad that she did. So I ended up going to jail. And that's when I had to do my year. You know, they were like, well, we could put you back on probation. I said, no, I just want to do my year. Get this shit over with because I'm tired of being on probation with you. Yeah. Just having it loom over your head. Yeah.

So, um, all right. So where did we leave off? I'm so sorry. We had to take a quick break, bathroom break. Oh yeah. So, um, you were talking about, okay, you were smoking meth and you had went to the hospital with Miko's. Okay. Got, you guys got charged with child endangerment, child endangerment, the baby's getting taken away. Yep. So, um, that's what it was. Okay. So I have warrants out for child endangerment. Um,

CPS came had you know Michael come down and get the kids I went to jail so between April and December 2017 I was in and out of jail um then my brother gets out obviously okay yeah so my brother gets out and the very next day he gets out I end up going to jail so which I feel like was like a true blessing especially everything that happened when he got out um so

My oldest daughter was with my aunt, Tricia, when I went to jail. My daughter would not go with Michael. She refused to go with him. So she had to go with them or with my aunt. So when I was in...

prison. This was like maybe two months before I was released from prison. My aunt decides to drop my daughter off at her dad's just out of nowhere. And my daughter at this point, she was 12 years old. She didn't know anything about her dad. She's never met her dad. She don't know anything about her dad. And this is the one who he was just like a flash in the pan. Yeah. Okay. Has the seven kids. Yeah. Okay. Gotcha. Yep. So

Um, you just didn't have anybody in your life that you could really count on ever. Nobody. And you know, now that I'm thinking, you know, back on it, I think that my aunt and she didn't tell me, um, why she did it. Well, actually I never even asked her because you know, it's really not important, but, um, she, I feel like she did because she did that because of everything that was going on in the home and she, but she didn't want me to know what was going on in the home. Um,

So my brother was living with my aunt with his daughter and his daughter at the time was like 16. Um, and so it was my aunt, my brother, his daughter, which was my niece. Um, and then, uh,

hurt my cousin, Valerie. So she ends up moving back to Ohio from like Idaho or Utah or wherever the hell she was for five years because her grandma was like really sick, you know, and she was dying. So her excuse was, well, I'm going to come back to Ohio and help take care of Ashley's kid. Okay. So she comes back and so they all...

all, you know, were my family smokes meth. That's what, that's just what they do. Even till this day, they smoke meth from the moment they wake up till they go to bed. Like it's a normal thing for them just like smoking a cigarette. So, um, I guess people can do that. Yeah. I know. Like they, and it's crazy. Some of them look so young. Yeah. Like it's like meth preserves some people. It's crazy. And so I remember, um,

When I had gotten out of prison, and this was in October 2018, my cousin was telling me all these crazy stories of what was going on, you know, with my brother and with his daughter. Come to find out, I guess, my cousin walked in on my brother and his daughter having sex. Ugh. And so she said she kicked them out.

And, but my aunt allowed them to live on the property in her camper after all this happened. And we'll come to find out my cousin was sleeping with my brother. So she was like jealous or something. Mind you, she was like in this meth induced psychosis. Yeah. Meth makes people do weird shit. Yeah. So I guess she got jealous or something cause he wasn't paying enough attention to her. And I don't know, but yeah,

Um, so I guess along the lines, my brother gets his daughter pregnant and, um, my aunt was starting to buy baby stuff for them. Like she didn't do anything. She didn't call the police. She didn't do nothing about it. And, um, I don't know if she had like an abortion or she had like a miscarriage, but I know like she doesn't have the baby. So, um, I guess word got back to, um,

his baby's mom what was going on and she's the one who pressed the issue of pressing charges and so when I had gotten out I was released in October 2018 my brother was still out you know and all this crazy shit was still going on but his daughter wasn't in the home like his daughter was I don't know I guess she was rightfully so right exactly and so but my brother never like

And I was, you know, smoking meth with him and all this stuff. And he never wants me to pass at me or anything. The one that abused you. Yeah. Well, it's because you were older. Right. Right. He only likes underage girls, apparently. Well, come to find out, I guess, like when he got arrested, he got arrested a couple months later. I guess the detective looked on his phone and he had video footage of him drugging or getting high with his daughter and raping.

you know, raping his daughter and had, there was two other guys in the film, you know, in the video that was doing the same thing to her. Oh my God. Taking turns. And, um, they couldn't find the detectives are still looking for those two guys. And one of them looks very familiar with the tattoos. And it was my older brother, like just the way they were explaining, like it, you know, um,

describing his tattoos. Like he has a bullseye in the back of his head. The guy has a bullseye in the back of his head. That's in the video, you know? So put two and two together. Yeah. And, um, and I said something to his baby's mom. I'm like, cause she's still pressing the issue. Even till this day, my brother got sentenced in August of 2021 to 12 to 15 years for all of that. But they're still investigating because there's, um,

minor kids under 12, like under either, I don't know, under either 11 or 12 that's in those videos too. There's pictures and stuff. Yeah. So they're trying to find out who those kids are. And my, um, I don't know why, but I just had this gut feeling like my, my cousin, she has four girls. She had four girls in the home and children's services came and took them. And she, um,

Even to this day, my cousin will say, I don't know why they took them. I don't know why they took them. And they're all girls. And I just have a feeling that's the reason why is because of what they were doing. Yeah. So you get out of prison in 2017? October 2018. 2018. Okay. And then when did you meet...

baby girl over here which I love that you guys are bringing her on to your platform a lot more because she for the longest time she wasn't in front of the camera yeah she doesn't she's the total opposite of me she doesn't like to you know be she doesn't like to have attention on her at all so um

which are, she's turning red right now as we talk. Yeah. Mimi, can we get her a microphone and get her on here? So we brought Brittany on the podcast. This is the other half of Ashley. Um,

So you've been bringing her on, you know, a little bit more on your TikToks and stuff like that. And you guys are actually coming under what Jay and I have to deal with every day. You guys are getting fucking attacked left and right, right? For just being in love with each other. Isn't it extremely toxic? Yeah. It's crazy. Like I can't post one thing with Jay without somebody being like, Oh, she's a fucking gold digger. Oh, fucking he needs to lose weight. Oh, what is, you know, how did he get her? And it's just like,

so much fucking toxicity, but through it all, it's going to make you guys stronger. Love is love. It doesn't matter. Right. Like love has no fucking color, fucking sex, anything like that. Yeah. So you got out of prison in October. I keep forgetting the fucking October, October, 2018. When did you, how long after that did you meet Brittany? Um, two weeks. So I was staying with my aunt for two weeks and she allowed me to stay there for two weeks. Um,

I remember I found her on Facebook and while I seen her. So were you just, you decided you were just going to be gay or you just were like, you saw her and you were like, okay, she's cute. So when I was in, um, the workhouse, um, um,

This was in, oh my gosh. Yeah. The beginning of 2018, like September, 2018, we were in different pods. She was in the pod across from me. And I guess I was just in the bad pod. Cause I have, you know, warrants and stuff out. So they just determine like your level. Right. You know? So she was normal. You weren't. So I remember seeing her and I remember, um,

there was a girl that came from her pod I guess they got into a fight or whatever came over to my pod I was like hey who is that girl over there and I remember them telling me you know either Britt or Brittany or whatever ever um but they didn't either I don't know if they told me her last name or not so I knew that I was going to prison and you know they told me her you know stuff that was going on so I'm like oh she's about to go too so um but she never went but um

Lucky you. Right. Yeah. So when I got out, I was just scrolling through Facebook. I think I was like methed out or whatever. And I was just scrolling through Facebook all day. Horny. Yeah. High on meth. Who can I fuck now? Yeah. So I came across her Facebook and I was like, she looks really familiar. I

And then I happened to just scroll through it and I seen like little older pictures of her. Um, because when I seen her, she was, it looked like she was like strung out, you know? And when I saw her Facebook, she was healthy. So I'm like, okay, what kind of, then I put two and two together. Like, Oh, that's that girl. So I kept messaging her and she would not message me back. She just, why wouldn't you message her back? Talk, talk, talk in the microphone. I just, I,

It's Facebook, so, you know. She's like, I got to play hard to get. She was creeping me, basically. So I'm like, okay, well, I just kept, you know, just kept messaging her, I think for like a couple days. And then all of a sudden she just like messaged me back out the blue and

I was like, well, do you just want to go to the movies or something? And she's like, well, yeah, we can do that. And so I had a friend, Ron. He's, you know, I still talk to him sometimes now, but

uh, he picked me up and he knew, you know, that I, um, you know, wanted to meet her and everything. So we got a room, but he let me use his car and then go pick her up. And the initial plan was to go to the movies. But when I picked her up, um, you know, we just ended up getting high and then

Getting high on meth? No. Heroin. Wow. Okay. Yeah. She was sober. Had you used heroin before that? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So I, at this point, like I was back and forth between, you know, meth and heroin. Speed balls. Yeah. Doing all that shit. Okay. Yeah. And so...

she was like sober for like maybe a year wow and then i gave him a lot and i fucked it all up oh yeah it's okay it's not it wasn't all you like i had been having urges and stuff and perfect opportunity i guess listen i've been sober since 2018 and it fucking sucks yeah i think about drinking all the time or fucking popping a xanax like it's being sober is not fun it's not it's hard i

It's definitely work every single day. It is. You literally wake up and choose soberness. It's not like, it's like, oh, I'm fucking sober and it's Mary Poppins and the fucking birds are singing. No, now you got to deal with your fucking mentally ill self and like deal with all this other shit that you have to deal with. Yes. Yeah. That we ran away from when we were using or drinking. So I totally understand that. So you guys hit it off. Yeah. I can did some heroin together. Yeah.

And so she came back with me to my aunt's house the next night and we stayed the night and all of a sudden my aunt started tripping out because she, they all were smoking meth downstairs and they had a friend over this older guy. And she was trying to get me to hook up with him. Like, Oh, you know, he has money, you know, that kind of thing. Right.

And I'm like, this is, is this Tricia? Yeah. Oh Lord. And I'm like, uh, no. And so you and Tricia have a toxic relationship. Very. Yeah. And so she, I guess his, his Harley Davidson glasses, sunglasses came up missing or something. And she was blaming me because,

And I was like, are you fucking kidding me? Like, no, absolutely not. We'll come to find out he misplaced them. He found them the next day, but she kicked me out the next day because of that. Right. She made that the excuse to kick me out. Um, but she just wanted me gone, you know, she's just a mess. Yeah. And so I, you know, she lived in, she was living at the time with a friend of hers and, um,

She ended up getting a job at Taco Bell and, you know, they were hiring and I'm like, I don't know if I can do that, you know, but. I pushed her into it. She did. She did. So I, you know, my fucking brother dropped us off, you know, in Columbus at her friend's house or whatever. And I had a fucking job at Taco Bell. Yeah. But there's nothing wrong with that. It's not. But I just.

I think I'm like, I just wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to get clean. I wasn't ready for a job or nothing. So you guys were deciding at this time that you wanted to start getting clean and start doing things the right way. Well, at first. Yeah. And then when we got our first paycheck, that's when party. It's time to splurge. Yes. That's exactly what happened. We got our first efficiency apartment though. Um,

But it was with the money that she had saved prior to meeting me. So we got the efficiency apartment. And so with our first paycheck, we were supposed to save to pay our rent for, you know, in a couple weeks. Well, that didn't happen. So we...

you know, more heroin and, you know, Xanny's my thing was Xanny's. And, um, so memories. Yeah. And I ended up, we gotten us when we got, got fired from fucking Taco Bell. Cause we came to work high. Yeah. Um,

shocking that they would write on you guys like right what do they well I was high she wasn't high right you're guilty by association yeah poor Brittany yeah and so that night we went back home and um like I ended up overdosing on heroin or Xanax on both all of it yeah it was a mixture of both yeah

And that's scary. Yeah. When I woke up, I was, she Narcan. Luckily we had Narcan. Wow. But I woke up, my whole body was completely like on fire and I was like, what the hell is happening? And she's like, it's the Narcan. I said, no, I've been Narcan before and this never happened to me. Like I was freaking out and, um, I guess it wasn't Narcan. I don't know. So you have overdosed before. Yeah. Yeah. This was like my probably third time overdosing. Um,

The other times, like one other time I got Narcan'd and that was in December of 2017. And that's when, that was the last time that I hung out with Miko's. Miko's, okay. You overdosed on meth or it was heroin? On heroin. Okay. And he actually, they Narcan'd me, but then I wasn't waking up. So he was dragging me outside to leave me outside in the alley. And I woke up and

and I woke up to him dragging me and I'm like what the fuck is happening he was like oh I was putting outside because we're calling the ambulance you know but we can't be in here because we have drugs and stuff in there I was like oh what the fuck ever and I was completely soaked like they must have like threw water on me or whatever and it was snowing outside so thank god I fucking woke up otherwise I would have died from hypothermia um

Um, but that was the last time, you know, and coincidentally, and this is not, I'm not trying to be a dick or anything, but you know, February of what, 2021, he overdoses and somebody leaves him outside and he dies. Wow. Karma. Yeah. Karmatic. That's crazy. So I remember when I woke up from her Narcanomy, I told her, I said, look, I'm not doing this anymore. Like I'm, I don't want to do this. I remember, um,

And I know a lot of people probably think I'm full of shit, but I remember seeing my mom, my dead mom and dead grandma, like literally looking down at me and it scared the shit out of me. And like, I remember telling her I was so petrified. I'm like, I don't ever, ever want to see that ever again. Um,

So they were just looking at you in disappointment. Yeah. And it scared me because I knew they were dead. I was like, why are you, why are you here? Am I dead? I thought, you know, what the fuck? And then I woke up and I told her, I said, I mean, we just got to, I got to go to the methadone clinic. There's just no other way around it. I got to get fucking clean. Yeah. And, um,

So we walked to and from that fucking methadone clinic. We didn't have a car. We didn't have nothing. We were broke as shit. Didn't even have enough money to our name to take the fucking bus. And the methadone clinic was like, what, two miles away? So we had to be there. And it was freezing cold. Yeah. We had to be there. But you guys were so determined and that's so beautiful. And you guys did it together. That's even more beautiful. Yeah. Well, she stayed there.

clean the whole time. I had a couple of steps. We know you're hardheaded. Yeah. And, um, but I remember like we like worked, you know, our asses off, you know, from that fucking moment forward. I remember, um, and we moved from that efficiency fucking apartment to a one bedroom. Right when we got the one bedroom, like a month later, I got my daughter back, you know, my oldest daughter back from her dad. And, um,

Well, he just couldn't handle her anymore. You know, that's just what it was. And which is fine. Like I, you know, I was going to go, you know, get her back custody back and everything. I was just a long process to do that, you know? Oh yeah. And once the kids are caught up in the system, it's like the system is such a fucking joke. Yeah. Oh yeah. Like, it's just crazy that they do more harm to children than they do good. Yeah. They absolutely do. They take care.

kids away from fucked up families and give them two more fucked up families. Like, it's like, what part of the game is that? Right. Which is crazy. Exactly. And I remember, you know, after we got her... Now, Brittany doesn't have any kids, right? So I come with, like, a shit ton of baggage. That's okay. And... You probably give her a lot of what she's wanted, you know? Yeah, I always wanted, like, a big family. Jay came with two kids. Yeah, yeah. But it's also, like, a lot of... I don't know. I just feel bad because I feel like I'm, like...

I don't know. You feel like you're undeserving of real love and somebody who's actually going to stick by your side and love you no matter what. Maybe. Yeah. I don't know. I just feel so bad because I'm like, you know, she doesn't have no kids. She doesn't have no ties. You know what I mean? She has responsibility. But you know what I mean. Yeah. And here I come along, you know, I...

you know she gets me a job and then I have her lose her job you know and then here all my kids are coming in the picture and you know like I don't know

Sounds like you feel like you don't deserve somebody who loves the shit out of you. She's there because she wants to be there. She doesn't have to be there, but she chooses to be with you every day. It also gives me more drive to stay sober also. Yeah. See, so in a way you're helping her and you're feeding her needs while you're doing the same for her. And that's what a real relationship is, is you guys heal together and

People think, oh, relationships are built on passion. That's all I used to ever do. I used to fucking be my relationships were hot and heavy and fucking we would fucking fight. That's all we did. You know, and then I got with Jay and Jay and I went through our own shit. You know, it was really hard and painful in the first three years. And then after that, we just figured it out and we grew together and we bettered each other and healed each other. And that's a real relationship.

If you guys aren't bettering each other or building something together, what are you guys doing? Right. You know? Yeah, exactly. And now you guys are fucking sober. You got all of your fucking kids back. I was like so invested in that. So she had put that on tape. I was rooting for you every time. I was like, go,

bitch, go. I was so excited. I even like got teary eyed whenever you fucking finally got him back. And I just, you know, I'm so proud of you guys, dude. Like I love what you guys are doing over there and just,

You're not just educating women about being strong and fucking getting through, you know, prostitution and stuff like that. You're educating them on so many levels of other things of same sex couples, of being a mom, being an ex addict. Like there's just so much shit that you guys are doing over there, you know? And I want you guys to know, do not let these fucking haters bring you down.

I know. I know how you I get it. I know. And I love talking about haters because it like feels the drama or whatever like that. But I just want you to know you're doing something right. People throw rocks at things that shine. Yeah. And whenever you trigger somebody inside their spirit, that's when they spew vomit. You know, especially if they're like not doing good or they're, you know, half these people are probably addicts that are fucking leaving these comments and stuff like that. So, yeah.

It's fucking miserable. When did TikTok come into play for you? Oh, God. Okay. Because you got like what? 1.6 million on one and then you have another. Do you still have your backup account? Yeah, I still got my backup. It was like 300 and some. Yeah, good. 340 something. Yeah. So I downloaded it.

you know, the app, of course, like with everybody else, like with COVID. Right. Yeah. I feel like 2020 either made or break, made it, you made it or you, you fucking just fell off. Yeah. Like, yeah. And so I, you know, was just making just like, you know, random tech talks every now and then, you know, talking about mostly I was talking about either like my weight loss or, you know, my drug addiction and stuff. Um,

And then I remember coming across a few profiles, you know, profiles, second pages, whatever videos.

And these young girls who are, you know, sex workers, but they're like, you know, glamorizing it, which, you know, let me say this. Let me say this. Okay. If, if what the fuck is it called? Oh, F if, Oh, F was a part of my day back in the day. Yeah. I would have absolutely a hundred percent took it on it. Right. Like there, but there, and there's nothing wrong with it. Yeah. And you know, it just, I,

I understand your point, but it is sex work. Yeah. And I agree with everything that you say about it. Like, it's sex work. No matter what you do, if you're sucking a dick on camera, you're a sex worker, you know? And a lot of these girls are just like, oh, no, I just do internet. Like, no, you're, you know, like, we're all in the fucking same...

We're literally hoeing ourselves out for a dollar. Everybody can see our holes, you know? So it's like, yeah, no, I totally agree with what you say. Yeah, and I don't, and you know, my intention was to never like,

make anybody feel bad for what they do or anything. I just feel like I was reading through like comments and stuff like, Oh, you know, how, how do you do this? How are you doing that? You know, like, Oh, you make so much money. Yeah. You make so much money on there. And, but that's not how it is for everybody, you know? Um, so, and then I kept thinking like, that's not how it was for me. Like I sure shit was not bringing in $50,000 a month. And I sure shit was not, I,

you know, enjoying myself, you know? Right. Um, and it, you know, there was a few times where I did come across like clients that were really nice, you know, and all we did was literally talk and he'd pay me, you know, hundreds, you know, thousands. And it, it,

That was once in a blue moon. Right. You know, see, I was telling Mimi this before you got here. I was like, it's so cool to have her come on because her and I were in the same industry, but just in two different, I grew up in Vegas. Everything in Vegas is glamorized. I've literally lived in the casinos and fucking made so much money off fucking dudes. So to me, I don't mean to glamorize it when I talk about it, but it's like, I just glamorize

grew up in a city that literally that's what it was based on. But that doesn't mean that there wasn't fucking downfalls and that I didn't get fucking beat up by tricks or fucking I've never been raped. Like there's shit that has happened. But I love that people get to see the raw side of the industry coming from you because you really fucking lived that, dude. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, they don't understand what it's like to fucking open a car door and not know the person and fucking get in. Like, that's just... That's next level shit, dude. Yeah. I have so much respect for you. I'm like, my hat goes off to you. Yeah, it definitely wasn't easy. And I...

You know, I still have, you know, like my friend Kelly, she's still out there, you know. Yeah. She was in it a lot longer than me. I have so many girls that are still in the game back home and I love them. I go, you know, if I can, Cassie, whenever you, Cheyenne, whenever she comes and hangs out with us, every time we go to Vegas, my ho friends are always popping up. But you know what? They're the most loyal. They are. Bitches, dude. And they're like, they get you because they've lived your life with you, you know. So, yeah.

All right. So you downloaded TikTok in 2020. Okay. So then I, you know, I remember coming across a couple, you know, girls videos and stuff. And I'm like, you know, this is not, you know, how... This isn't real. This is not how it is, right? This isn't real. Yeah.

So I remember and I kept thinking to myself, like, I'm going to end up, you know, talking about, you know, the trauma behind it. Yeah. But I just was too scared to do it because I'm like, I feel like if I do that because nobody knew what I was doing. Nobody knew that I prostituted. Like it wasn't obviously like, you know, clients and stuff, you know, but my family didn't know. Yeah, you're a secretive motherfucker. You hold a lot of shit in. Yeah. So my family didn't know and yeah.

you know like I had like you know friends and stuff like that and um you know from high school and they didn't know like nobody fucking knew unless you were my client you did not know that I prostituted so I kept going back and forth whether or not I wanted to do it and then um I remember you know I

I was working at the hotel and I'm like, you know, I'm just going to fucking do a fucking video and just see where it goes. So I remember doing that fucking

video oh my god it was uh Disturbia yeah you literally have a copyrighted hand twirl like it's like anytime I see anybody do this I'm like Ashley I even wanted to do one one time I was like fuck it I'm gonna do this too yeah and I I didn't sorry I didn't realize like I remember making that video

Yeah.

wow, it's that fucking video. So I'm like, okay, well... It's because people relate to real. Yeah. You can fucking sit up there and do all the fucking trends you want, but when you really talk some real shit, the universe grabs it. Yeah. You know? And the universe was in your favor. They were like, it's time for you to tell your story. It's time for you to start releasing some of this fucking trauma. Yeah. Healing other people is healing you. Oh, yeah. You know? Absolutely. And I remember, you know, I did another video and then another video and it just took off. And I remember...

At this point, I was going through a custody battle with my, you know, three babies. So we already had a guardian that was involved in our case that I had hired. And I'm thinking like, I wonder what she's going to think. Right. But I'm like, I don't give a fuck. Like she, what can she, what can she say? You're not doing it anymore. This is your real story. Right. And I remember after that took off, um,

Every single time I went to court, like two times after that. And every single time I went to court, she would always talk about my TikTok videos. That was the focal point of every fucking court hearing was my TikTok videos. And, you know, I...

I remember her saying, well, you know, Ashley's doing all these videos talking about clients and prostituting and sleeping with prosecutors and doing this and that. And that's going to be so detrimental to her kids. And I remember sitting there when she's when she's telling, you know, talking like that for like a whole fucking hour about me.

I remember I interrupted her and I told the judge, I said, that's not being detrimental by showing my kids that change can fucking happen and to teach them, you know, compassion and, you know, not to be a judgmental fucking prick. Like this fucking guardian is. Yeah. And I remember the judge was like, okay, well, you know, we're just going to postpone this court hearing, you know, and all this stuff. So,

I remember from that moment on, like, I'm like, I'm just going to continue, you know, talking about it because, you know, there's people like her obviously in the world. That's just an asshole, you know? And... But this is your truth. Yeah. Why... So...

I did the same thing you're doing, except I did it with my podcast. You know, people used to try to shame me for being a sex worker when I got with Jay and you know, Jay wasn't as big as he is now. When we first got together, we literally built our platforms together and people would be like, Oh, look at her Eros ad. Cause I was at Eros girl. I had my ad on Eros and you know, I know I didn't do back page, but I did the ear and not that that makes me better or anything like that. But it was just, I was an internet girl, you know?

and um fucking they would pull up my ads and they'd be like look at this and you know like try to shame me and and jay was just like tell your story yeah and i'm like nobody's gonna listen you know nobody wants to hear from a fucking hooker and he's like oh you'd be surprised and literally that's how my fucking podcast was born so you telling your story like that is like

It's so fucking cool to me to see you doing that. And the fact that my daughter idolizes you. That's crazy. I'm like, bitch, you don't know how to idolize me. What?

the hell but she loves you and I love that because you literally are in the same you know we're in the same industry that I was in and you're telling your truth and I love that she like recognizes a strong another strong woman yeah and there's got to be millions of girls who you're one helping stay away from the industry and if anything if they do get involved in it they'll know what to expect you know about it yeah that and that's just my intentions like my intention is not to

or to make anybody feel bad about their decisions or what they want to do with their life. Like I'm all for, you know, you want to do that, by all means do it, but just do it in a safe manner and just look out for signs of, you know...

like there's just certain, certain things to look out for when it comes to clients. And you can just tell like something's just not right. You know? And I could always even like, if I would go out there, I can always tell right off the bat. I can tell if you're not going to pay me. I could tell if you're just going to bullshit me. I can tell if you are wanting to rate me. I can tell if you're just, well, you have, you learn how to read people real fucking quick when you're in that industry. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, I, but I also, you know, want to, um,

tell my story so that, you know, so that girls don't make the same mistakes. I don't want my girls to, that's why I am doing, you know, putting myself out there and, you know, doing what I have to do so that, cause I didn't come from, you know, money. I didn't come from a family that loved me or anything like that. So I'm trying to do, you know, things different with my kids so that my girls don't ever have to,

think about, you know, doing, you know, that because. Yeah. What would you do if your daughter ever came to you and said she wanted to do it? Mm-hmm.

I don't know. I don't know. It's so hard, right? People ask me that all the time about Bailey. They're like, well, what if Bailey wants to go to the same rod as you? And it's like, one, I would never shame her. Two, the more you tell somebody no, they're going to want to do it anyways and they're going to figure it out. You know, so I would just really try to be

her voice of reason if my daughter ever came to me and said that. Yeah. I think that I would ask her like, well, why do you, why do you feel that you want to do this? Yeah. And if she still wants to do it, I'm like, okay, well this is what you need to do. First off, you need to first off carry protection with you at all times, you know, and then protection. I mean like,

pepper spray or you know a knife like whatever you have to carry with you um and don't ever sleep with anybody without protection I don't care what they say you know just don't you know just don't do that um

And, you know, I mean, I would totally support, you know, her decision. It's not even I don't think support would be the word for us. It would be like we we don't have a choice, you know, because they're going to do it anyway. Exactly. My little sister came to me like five years ago. I was like, I want to start working. And I was like, no, I'm not going to help you.

She ended up on Backpage and fucking doing shit like that. Not that Backpage is bad. I just, there was, I've known so many girls who have gotten hurt off of Backpage. Oh yeah. And that's why I kind of have like a distaste for it. It's not around anymore, but that's why I have such a distaste for it because, you know, just so many girls got hurt off of that website, you know, but she found a way to start doing it without me. And now she's strung out on drugs and,

you know, living in a motel room doing stuff. And it's, I feel like I could have helped her in a different way. So I guess I kind of learned from that situation, you know, that when a loved one does come to you and they want to get in the industry, don't shun them or tell them no, but, you know, just try to help them as much as you can. Right. What does 2022 bring for Brittany and Ashley? So like, right.

Right now, we... I mean, I got joint custody. I agreed to joint custody with my kids. Yeah. But... That's awesome that you did that, though. Yeah. And I did that... For them. Yeah, I did that for them. But things aren't going like they should be. So, as soon as we get back...

into town tomorrow. I'm going next week to file for, you know, full custody and doing, you know, what's happening is he just holding the kids from you and stuff. So he's just not taking them to appointments. He's not. I did see that. Yeah. He's just, he's a dad and I'm not, I'm not defending him. Men don't know how to be caregivers. They don't, they don't,

But if you're not going to take them, tell me so I can take them. And he's just not doing that. And we have certain things, certain stipulations that's in the court order. We have a caseworker, not CPS or anything, but it's like, because my son has hydrocephalus. So he has ADHD problems. He has a lot of mental health issues. So he has a caseworker with the Board of DD.

And the stipulation in the court orders was you have to attend monthly zoom meetings so we can come together because his, he has, his communication is shit, you know, but he is a man. So I understand, but you know, co-parenting like you have to talk to me. He does not talk to me. He does not text me back. He does not call me. My son's birthday was yesterday. So I try to call him and text him like, Hey, you know, I'm going to tell, you know, Messiah, happy birthday. Well,

Nothing. Nothing. And even the school even called me, my youngest son. And I guess my youngest son, he's on ADHD medication too, you know. And he didn't give him his medication that morning. And they're like, well, we're trying to contact Ed. He's not answering the phone. And I'm like, wow. So...

You know, he's just not... Just a lot of neglect. Yeah, a lot. And I just... I feel like I gave him the opportunity because I... Yeah. He was doing the same thing prior...

prior to me agreeing to joint custody, but I felt like maybe he was doing that because he just had a lot on his plate and he was just overwhelmed. So now that things are changing and there's joint custody and I have them for a week, he hasn't, he has a week off and vice versa, then maybe it'll motivate him to want to do things, you know, and give him a break during that week, you know, to where he can breathe or whatever, but he's just simply just not wanting to do it. So, um,

I'm just going to have to do what I have to do. And, you know, the guardian that was even over her case, she was a bitch anyway. She just did not do her investigation properly at all. Not the best interest of the kids. Yeah, at all. So, you know, I'm just going to file for contempt, file for emergency custody, do what I have to do. But I know that I'll get full custody back of the kids. Are you ready for that, Daddy Brittany? Who's Daddy in the relationship? They both looked at each other. They were like...

I think I'm more dominant. Yeah, you're definitely more dominant. That's true. I think it would be me than her. But yeah, she's more caring and more patient. Very, you know, the polar opposite of me. But yeah, I

You know, it's a lot. I know it's a lot. That's why I say, you know, like even with this joint custody, like going from, you know, her meeting me to, you know, with no kids to one kid to then four kids, you know, and then I know it's a big, big adjustment. But she looks like it's worth it. All she does is smile when you talk about those kids. So, I mean, I don't see any sort of like regret in her face at all. No.

So you guys just keep loving each other. So besides that, you're just going to keep making content. You're going to get those babies back full time. Yeah, so our lease is up in June. Our house is like tiny. It's tiny. Yeah, well, yeah, with fucking four kids, you're going to have to fucking step it up a little bit. Yeah, so we can't. I can't do it. I feel like I'm living in a fucking box. So we're, you know, going to get a bigger house and, you know,

that's it like we're just going to just goal solidifying your family and just staying on the sober track and just making tick tocks and fucking bringing awareness to people I'm so happy that you came on the podcast today to tell your story I mean what a beautiful dude I want you to come back every year yeah I'll just bring you back I will come back every year I will yeah

Tell people where they can find you on your social medias. Okay. So it's trashly anonymous or is it trash? Yeah. It's trashly underscore anonymous. Okay. On Tik TOK or trashly underscore anonymous one on Tik TOK or trashly anonymous on, uh,

Jesus Christ. Instagram. There we go. Instagram. And I also have a channel on SofaDog. So that's like my, that's my baby right there with my channel. What goes on on SofaDog? So it's like something similar like YouTube and like a, you know, but they, I have editors that edit my videos and does all that for me. Yeah.

But I... Even with YouTube, there are certain things I can't talk about. Oh, I can't. I could never put our whole full podcast on YouTube without them taking it down or demonetizing it. Yeah. So that's why I... You can listen to me for free, but I'm on Patreon. Right. And with SofaDog, you know, I can talk about anything. I have full control over what I can say on there. And they're, you know...

The creators on that app is behind me. They want me to, you know, talk about everything. So that's what I do. I mean, I wrote a book, but I'm not publishing it for legal reasons because there's certain things on there that Ohio will, you know, secret indict. And I just don't want to go back to jail. Yeah. They will do that. That book will happen in time. Whenever the universe is ready for them. So right now it's just the, you know.

the channel and that's it. So I love it. Well, thank you guys for coming on. And I cannot wait to see what 2022, I keep wanting to say 2020, what 2022 brings for you guys. And I'm just, just know you got us rooting for you guys over here. Like literally in your corner, you know, just fucking go bitch go. Yeah.

Thank you. Yeah, thank you. Thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Dumb Blonde. I will see you guys next week.