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That's me. Hello, friends. Welcome to another episode of Popaganda, your source for all things fucked up in this fucked up ass world. I swear I'll get that intro again one day. One day, maybe. Why is it so hard for me? Yeah, I don't know. God, it's because we're doing so much shit. We've only been doing it for six years. It's fine.
I know. I don't know if you guys know this or not, but there are so many older popagandas on my YouTube. If you guys want to go binge them. We had a whole new set. We had different sets, which we are going to have a different set for popaganda too. So you guys don't have the same set right now. This is what you get. Okay. Cause we are busy. My schedule wouldn't allow it. I'm so ready. I got a fire in the hole. Cause you fired in the hole last time. If you're wondering why I'm wearing the same outfit, it's cause we're fucking, I told you this lady overworks me, man.
New York Post, one of the nanny stars said, Marilyn Monroe gave me the craziest diet tip. Really? Yeah. And I don't know what it is because you guys know I don't read these ahead of time. So we're going to learn what it is together. Let's do this. For as long as she can remember, Renee Taylor has been on a diet. Same, sis. We're talking seven decades. Because Taylor, who among...
Other Things played Fran Drescher's mom on The Nanny is 85. I think I was 11 when the teacher called my mother and said I couldn't go five minutes without having a bagel in my mouth. - Same sis. - Bronx native tells the Post. Soon after she says her mom started clipping movie star diets from Photo Play Magazine reasoning, "If we ate like that, we'd look like that." I like her thinking, but that's not how it works. They never did look like that, but their efforts launched Taylor on a lifetime of ups and downs in dress sizes.
all the way to 20 plus. Her relationship with food also inspired a book and then a one woman show, "My Life on a Diet," kicking off its six week Broadway run on Thursday. The show is Taylor's final collaboration with her actor-writer husband of 52 years, Joseph Bologna. "Joe said he loved me at any weight," she says of the man with whom she wrote the hit 70s movies, "Lovers and Other Strangers" and "Made for Each Other With."
He only had one request. He loved to dance and he'd say, just don't get so heavy. I can't dip you. Aw. That's sweet though. That is really, really, really sweet. These days, she looks quite dippable thanks to some newfound restraint. Moderation, she says, was never her strong suit. I can feast or fast. Nothing in between. Same, sis. God, is that not...
- I'm either feasting or fasting all the time. - That pretty much sums up her diets, including the regimens recommended by Marilyn Monroe. They met in the 50s at the actor's studio where Taylor was stunned by Monroe's beauty. "I asked, 'What do you eat to look like that?' Taylor says. 'Grapes,' Monroe told her." So Taylor ate grapes, lots and lots of them. When she gained weight, Monroe chided her and said, "You're just supposed to have a few."
We hungry. Aww. Aww. Next came Monroe's Master Cleanse Diet. I've done this diet before. Okay, tell me about it. A mix of lemon juice, cayenne pepper, and maple syrup. Foiled again. I put in too much maple syrup, Taylor says. Okay, wait, do you just take it as a shot? So when I did it,
we would put it in big jugs of water and that's all you would drink all day long. You would fast, you would not eat and that's all you would drink. Interesting. So like meal replacement almost, but with. It's fasting, but like instead of drinking bone broth, you're drinking this fucking concoction. Oh, it's like a detox kind of thing. Yeah, exactly. And the cayenne pepper is supposed to like speed up your, it's disgusting. Metabolism and stuff, yeah. Yeah, it's disgusting. That's a no-go. You understand? That's no bueno. Point in case, guys, fad diets do not work. No.
No, I definitely grew up in the fat diet era. Same. It was like yo-yo dieting is what they call it. Yeah, my mom always had a woman's world and it's always the different diet in the woman's world. My mom would cut a marrow. I've been dieting since I was in middle school. It's crazy. I hate that. You know, it's such a hard thing because you want your kids to be healthy and you want to try to guide them gently the right way to eat the right things. But it's so hard because you just end up giving your kid a fucking eating disorder. Yikes.
If you are gentle enough. I didn't even know what white bread was until I got older. We only ever had wheat bread because it was supposed to be the healthiest bread. And it's really not. There's no difference. There's no difference, bro. So I went a lifetime without white bread. And then one day my dad bought it because my dad never did the grocery shopping. He bought it one day and I was like, what is this?
I can't believe Marilyn Monroe is just chomping on grapes. That's nothing but carbs. Yeah, that's crazy. Carbs and sugar. You're just eating... I mean, eventually your body's going to acclimate to it, but gee. Her body's not everyone's body, so that's what's crazy. Like you said, it doesn't always work what works for them. Marilyn had plastic surgery or something back then, for sure. You think so? Absolutely. Oh, wow. For sure. She had access to everything. She could have had lipo back then. She could have had anything. When do you think lipo was like...
Really? Back then? I don't know. I'm sure. Well, I'm giving it a goog. Yeah, give it a goog. When was liposuction invented? 1975. Wow. So was Marilyn, Marilyn died in 76, right? Yeah, that's crazy. Did she die in 76? I don't know when she died. When did Marilyn Monroe pass away? 62. Maybe she just used speed. Because they said she couldn't sleep. So, and she had to take uppers and downers. So she was always on diet pills. I mean, drugs would give you a body for sure. I don't know. When I was on drugs, I was a heffalump. What? Yeah. I've seen pictures of you. No. You were not.
I would fucking eat fucking my thing was I was get I would get cocaine out and just fucking yeet out my favorite type of weed was a Cocaine and then when I would be coming down I would fucking get hella drunk and I would eat Domino's kickers their chicken kickers. Oh my god. They were so bomb
Yeah, a horrific phase I went through for years. I don't know if it was a phase. I think it was a lifestyle. Yeah. You like knocked the dominoes kickers. Yeah, it was delicious. That's funny. Summer is here, baby. Plenty of time to enjoy everything you love about summer, but it kind of depends on what you do right now.
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All right, what do you got for me? A man has been caught at the border and he had pythons in his pants. Oh, God. At least they weren't up his ass. True story. So in New York, a man has admitted to smuggling three Burmese pythons in his pants through U.S.-Canadian border crossing. And he was sentenced Wednesday for a year probation and he was fined $5,000 by the federal government. What is this sorcery? He was 38 years old and he crossed the northern New York border with...
with hidden snakes in his pants via bus. Is he not afraid of getting his balls bit? The young adult snakes were hidden in the inner thighs of his pants in snake bags. Aren't they more venomous when they're children? When they're kids? What do you call a fucking baby snake? Baby snake? Right? No.
What's the name for a baby snake? I don't know. A snook. A snook. A little baby snook. Protections officers caught him, according to the court documents, and he was released a $5,000 fine. He had smuggled $2,500 or more of reptiles from a Canadian store. I'm a snake. I'm a slithery, slithery, slithery snake.
Yeah. So I'm wondering if because they're snake bags, maybe the snakes couldn't bite through them because they were tied to the drawstring within the pants. Maybe. But that is really close to your bits. Yeah, that's too close. To the chance in heaven. Yeah. Burmese pythons in there? I'm not into it. But you're right, it's better than the anus. I don't like it. I don't like it. Woman orders a $275 ashtray, receives a can of tuna instead. What? Wait, what? What?
what is going on like i'm literally puzzled ash first off whose ashtrays are that expensive dolce and gabbana oh bailey connor just wanted to splurge
on a little online luxury, but what she was sent was more than a little fishy. A now viral TikTok video, Cormier, a Nashville area resident, recounted her experience ordering a Dolce & Gabbana ashtray from a luxury retailer, Saks Fifth Avenue, and receiving something that caught her by surprise, a can of tuna.
Someone just put a can of tuna in there? Cormier says she received an emailed coupon from Saks for a percentage off of one item online and decided to purchase a Dolce & Gabbana blue Mediterranean ashtray. Okay.
Who the fuck? That is very specific. Who chooses an ashtray? A Dolce & Gabbana ashtray. That's like those Tiffany fucking paperclips. Who fucking buys those? I don't need to hear the judgment. That's what I wanted. So that's what I picked. It's very pretty. After Cormier's order was delivered, she says she opened her Saks brand package, pulled out a black Dolce & Gabbana box, and removed the cellophane wrapping.
When I opened it, this is what I found. A can of albacore tuna. I don't know if someone from the warehouse took it and replaced it and did some cellophane with a hair dryer. I don't know. This is the most fucking expensive can of tuna I've ever bought. Oh my god. I chose a Dolce & Gabbana ashtray. I don't need to hear the judgment. That's what I wanted, so that's what I picked. And it's very pretty. This is what I found. A can of...
of tuna but this is the most fucking expensive can of tuna i've ever bought so it's like in the wrapping it's not just someone returned this man thieves are really smart i'll be honest i used to work at the walmart returns and i got bamboozled a couple times wow i didn't know you worked at walmart i'm very short-lived gail lewis 10-year associate morris illinois 844 signing out good night
When were you going to tell me about that? It was about a three month span. That's how it was for me at Fatburger. Yeah, it didn't last very long. I cried one day and Jason was like, okay, you can quit, Jesus. Look at us now. Zach sent me used perfume, paid $450 for it. They don't accept used perfume for return, supposedly wrote another TikTok user.
My daughter bought a $500 bag, commented another, and when she received the box, was carefully sliced in a different spot and bag removed. Saks Mall is a target for high-end theft. Wow. Other commenters used the fishy situation as an opportunity to fine-tune their comedy stylings. Albacore is the Dolce & Gabbana of the tuna world. Ha ha ha.
You know, TikTok comments are always fucking... They're sometimes funnier than the video. Oh, dude. Some of these people are so fucking witty. I love them. It's amazing. Temp check. What kind of summer are we having this year? A family road trip summer? A beach bum summer? Or a wake me up when the sun sets summer? With Instacart, choose your own adventure and skip the shopping side quests. Where available, you can get ice cream delivered to your hotel, sunscreen to the pool, or cold brew to your bed.
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Another person said, crack that can open, empty it out, girl. You got yourself an ashtray. That was her story. I would be so pissed off. But wait, did Saks Fifth make it right? Saks Fifth Avenue said that after an investigation of Cormor's order, the team identified that the tuna can sent to her was a fraudulent return.
We take our customer experience very seriously across the retail industry. There has been an increase in an online fraud, particularly related to returns. Luxury continues to be a target given its high price points. And as such, we have implemented more rigorous steps in our return process. That's how I got bamboozled by someone resealed a PlayStation game one time after the person left and I gave them the full money return. The lady comes over to me and she goes, you know what? I know his tricks.
and she grabs it and shakes it and she rips it open. It's a piece of cardboard as the game. And he had just sliced the bottom open and then resealed it with a lighter. Damn. And you know, games back in the day were like 50, 60 bucks. Oh yeah. They still are. They're still fucking expensive. And so for a teenager, that's a good shtick. Yeah. Buy it, rip it open, keep the game, get your money back. They replaced the ashtray for her. Oh good. So she got her fucking $300 ashtray. Ridiculous. I hope she fucking throws it at the wall. What? Oh.
I don't understand the point of that. Like, it's just going to get so... That's squanderous. Squanderous? That's a good word. That is very... That is not frugal. That is very unfrugal. Your vocabulary. Yeah. What's your new word? Morbs. I got the morbs. We looked up Victorian slang. I only want to talk in Victorian slang. I swear to God I fucked Dracula in another life. I am so attracted to cathedrals, gothic architecture, guys who wear arches.
eyeliner and are pale as fuck. I love it. And the Victorian gowns, like, oh my God, I would have slayed a Victorian gown back in the day. Oh my God. Yeah. Oh, I love you. But they, I mean, they would have made me a waist and a corset whale bone corset. An Indonesian man, 43 year old shoved a toothbrush into the tip of his penis.
Why? Okay, first of all, why is it always shit getting shoved into shit with you? Guess what? At least mine are like diverse. Straight for the butthole and the pee hole every time. It snapped off during sex. What did he stick up there? A toothbrush.
And it snapped off during sex. A man was left in excruciating pain. After a toothbrush, he shoved into the tip of his penis, snapped. So he had a little dick and he was trying to put an extender on it. You think? Yeah. He was trying to tickle them ribs. Scrub her insides, clean out the hole. Oh, God. Could you imagine scraping in there? That's like what they do at the gynecologist office. Kind of, yeah. You've done that? You've never done that? You've never had a scrape? No.
No, I'm just saying you physically did that to someone else. Yes. You did. Thank you for reminding me. The 43-year-old waited 12 hours before seeking medical attention in his eye-watering injury. He asked why the toothbrush was in his penis, and the unnamed Indonesian man confessed to perform a DIY surgery for his sexual satisfaction.
That doesn't even make sense. No. You're having sex. He said he made a small incision to insert the toothbrush in. It was unclear whether the toothbrush in question had been in place since that time or had been taken out.
I can't. Yeah. The visual is too much on that. I don't like it. He said he had never had issues removing the toothbrush in the past. You know, I just want to know what kind of trauma happens in these people's lives that they want to hurt their genitals. Because that's trauma. Something happened to him that made him want to hurt himself. Listen, I saw a piece of my pussy lip off one time. Okay.
Wait, wait, wait. Time out. Tell everyone the story because I learned this in the parking lot of a nail shop. She said, I just went to town. So listen.
I have had a labiaplasty before. I had a labiaplasty. I've been very vocal about that. Everybody knows about it. If you don't know about it, you know about it now. I had a very cute vagina. She just had little butterfly wings and I don't like outies. That's not my thing. You know? Anyways, I had a labiaplasty fucking seven years ago. They cut the lips off. She's cute. You know, she still has a little bit of lippage. Yeah. 2016, 2015. 2015. So longer. Yeah. Yeah.
so anyways patalabioplasty anyways i inspect my hootenanny all the time that was my money maker for the longest time and it's just a habit i got to make sure that she is always gorgeous and looking right you know and i looked in the mirror one day and there was like off my lip was like this tiny bit of skin it wasn't a keloid but you know like scar how scar tissue can grow out a little bit yeah it a little bit of it grew out on my lip so i i was like trying to twist it off because it was like the tiniest piece
I was trying to twist it off and it wouldn't come off. It was like a skin tag. It was like a little skin tag. Yep, that's exactly what it was on my vagina. But it was cute. Like it looked like a piece of rice. It's fluffy.
That's all I could explain. It was in the shape of a rice. I've never heard someone put their skin tag as cute. No, but it was like the shape of our skin tag is the shape of rice. Kind of, yeah. Yeah? Okay, so it was just like a little piece of rice hanging off my hootenanny and I just didn't want her there. So I tried to twist it off. It didn't come off and
And so I looked over and I saw that I have those, you know, those things that you scrub your face with the derma blades. Yeah. And I was like, I can either go and spend $10,000 to have a doctor do this because I've had it done before. I know exactly what they do. They cut you off and they say, tell you fucking good luck and send you home. There's nothing you can do. Right. So I was like, I washed my hands, made sure I did it in a sterile environment. And I just reached down there, took my little fucking microdermablader and sawed through it.
like a little piece of steak and it came right off. It hurt like a motherfucker though.
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So, and she's as pretty as ever still. Oh my God. I told you guys are as shocked as I am. You'll never look at steak the same. What the fuck is wrong with you?
Listen, I've been through some shit. That's how I know these motherfuckers have been through shit. If they're fucking doing that to their genitalia. I had mine surgically removed. So I knew that the doctor was literally going to go in, lidocaine my pussy and fucking chop it off and say, go home and heal. Why am I going to spend $10,000 to do that when I can just cut this little tiny piece off by myself? Blood was everywhere, by the way. Oh, wow. It was rough. Yeah. Yep.
Listen, that's why when you say you can hurt me, no, you can't. I sawed my own pussy lip off. That is the fucking clip of the week, bro. I feel like I'm going to throw up. Should we even post that? Yes! Yes!
That's going to make a fucking news headlines, dude. Jelly Roll's wife saw his pussy lip off. That's all. God. Listen, I share way too much with you guys. You guys know more than fucking some of my friends do. That was interesting. Yeah, it was a moment in time. Wow. All right. Is it my turn? Your turn. All right.
I mean, I think that was a story in itself. I feel like it was. Can that count for my last story? Yes. All right, perfect. There we go. Woman saw his pussy lip off in Nashville, Tennessee. I don't even think I told my husband. Oh, yeah, I told my husband about it. Yeah, he knows about it. I would hope so. You share a lot with him. I don't think he believed me. I don't think he believed me. Remember that one time you carried your poop to him? My shitty pants? When you shit your pants? Yeah, I had to. He wouldn't have believed me if I had said it, because he knows how OCD I am. She caught it in her dress. Yeah.
Well, I tried to fart and a nugget flew out. It was fucked up. I've gone through some shit, man. You guys want to talk about it? Let's talk about it.
A man called the police to test his meth for authenticity. You don't never know what to expect. Oh lord. What is wrong with people? Yeah, a Florida man was arrested after he called police and asked them to test his meth. But old Florida, you can always count on them to have a good time. Uh-huh. Thomas of Spring Hill called the sheriff's office on Thursday asking for officers to test the meth he had recently purchased. He told officers that he was an experienced drug user.
This man is a veteran. And he believed he had been sold bath salts instead of meth. They said he told police he knew what it felt like and that the substance wasn't produced the desired effect.
People in Florida are dumb.
Like, literally, the craziest shit comes out of Florida, man. Like, they are like, is there something in the water there? Like, not everybody. I love my Floridians. But damn, you guys got some real fucking idiots. Some weird shit happening down there. Just real idiots. Like, no common sense is not common out there. Not at all. I couldn't imagine calling the police. Like, that was your first thought? Like, man, I'm high on meth? That does seem like a meth thing, though. You think about that? Yeah. Listen, I've been high on meth, and I've never thought to call the cops. Ever.
ever i've smoked it fucking snorted it overdosed on it all right guys thank you for tuning in to another episode of propaganda your source for all things fucked up in this fucked up ass world bye hey what's up guys if you want to see the rest of this episode and i know you're going to want to see the rest of this episode head on over to our patreon at www.dumbblondunrated.com see you there
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