Mary Carey: Schizophrenia, Porn, and Infertility
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All right, gentlemen, coming to main stage next, this is Bunny. Get up there. She's got a tornado of titties coming your way. Get those dollar bills ready. She's got an ass that shakes like Michael J. Fox. So get up there and throw, throw, throw them dollars. Dude, that is fucking iconic. He stole money. He stole money from you. And so then three weeks later, my mom jumped off a four-story building. Oh, my God. She survived.

But she broke... Was that when she was on medication or before? She didn't... You know, at the time, she didn't tell me. But then I went to her apartment and, like, the way her dosage was, you could see, like, had the day. And, like, she didn't take her medication for six days. Oh, shit. And so the voices came. And she thought she had framed... She thought she was being framed for the murder of President Roosevelt. Oh. So she jumped off a building. And I remember, I just, like, I got here and...

You know she had like They didn't think she was going to survive The first 24 hours She had 10 pints of blood transfused Shit Then it was like We might have to You know she might be paralyzed She might have to amputate her legs But none of that happened And then thank God Mom's a fucking savage dude A couple months in Her neurosurgeon Was like I was like with some boy I was just dating Boy because he was a couple years younger He's like

can I get you number one and go out sometime? And I was like, neurosurgeon, yes. This is good. I have a place to stay. He gave me a car and I even said, I will only date you if you give, because I was buying my Xanax illegally. So I was like, I need a prescription of Xanax and Valium. He's like, sure. And I was like, this is,

awesome. And sometimes I would be like, I need $5,000 like right now. And he's like, okay. And then I know just love my sugar daddy. He was great. But not only that, he got my mom. So my mom, because she was on like government, you know, Medicaid and welfare, they would like, um, instantly the second, like a surgery was done to make it cheap for the hospital, boom, like kick her out, kick her out and put her in some like shitty, like nursing home type place. And so once he came around and he was, um, I forgot what it's called.

the head of the hospital chief. Right. He overrode all doctor. I'm like, why aren't you kicking around? Got her a private room at this hospital, kept her in there for like three or four months. Then he got her into like a place I couldn't afford for rehab for like rehabilitation. But then eventually I just couldn't take it anymore. And I remember I went to a Jamie Foxx concert down here. I came home drunk and I was like, I'm done. No,

Wasn't thinking, unfortunately I should have thought about my mom. Right. And my Xanax prescription. Right. Because both were done the next day. My mom was moved out to like, next thing I know I'm like a halfway house, literally like a halfway house. Oh no. And my Xanax prescription I went to refill was canceled. I didn't even think he would think of that.

And I was like, when I left at three in the morning, I was like, I can't get a ticket for my dog right now, but I'll be back for my dog in a week. And then he's like, you can only have your dog back if you give me back, like, I want like $35,000. And I was like, fuck. I'm like, I don't have that right now. And you know what? And at the time, I wasn't a good dog mommy. Right. You know, to be honest. So it was for the better. But then, so a couple months later, my Xanax was still bad. Right. I was like,

I was starting to like I had a severe Xanax addiction too Oh mine was just And I wasn't taking them To the party I was taking them To sleep at night Oh no I was taking them To fucking not feel anything I've always had Severe anxiety I have severe anxiety too Like beyond Like even just being late today Because the girls Makeup was everything I cannot When I am running late to things I start like

I get, I'm a very anxious person in general, like severe. And so sleeping at night was impossible to me. And I remember I used to just take Tylenol pans and alcohol. And then my porn star friend who was like my like best friend for a couple years, Tawny Roberts one day, she's like, Mary, you're only sleeping four hours. You need to sleep more. We please take this pill. Yeah. And then I was like, that's all it takes. Yeah. I was like, the first time you feel a Xanax hit your bloodstream. It's like, Oh my God, it's the best. Like you'll be laying there and you feel it and you're like,

Dude, it's like you've never had that peace. I used to tell people I want to marry a six foot four Xanax. Like I picture him with like white gloves. He even has a little marks, you know, a bar. He has a big, nice bar. Totally. I was in love with him. I mean, it was the greatest thing ever. Yeah. But it was getting bad. It was getting to the point where I would like come home drunk.

And not remember if I took... By that point, I was taking like two and a half bars at bedtime. I took 64 footballs in two or three days. How much does it equal to bars? Probably like 10, 15? The footballs are 0.5. Well, 0.5, okay. So I took 64 of those in two or three days. And one...

woke up two weeks later out of my Xanax haze and was just like bro this is crazy because you're probably moving around doing stuff too yeah I went and visited people I fucking slept in my car I did a couple weird things I would do things and like lost friendships woke up to friendships that were gone I was just like bro yeah you don't know why and they don't get it yeah I would call my like I had an assistant at this point I started paying this girl like 500 bucks just like drive because I couldn't drive or do anything on my own yeah and like I would like call my dance my future dance agent when I wake up to find out my bookings and

And like an hour would go by and I guess I would like I would repeat everything. I would like do it all over again. And do it all over again. Yeah. Xanax you're always constantly repeating yourself. And mine was bad and I didn't know how to stop. And then so finally when I got offered celebrity rehab it was because I was really good friends with Chyna. Now Chyna was honestly more fucked up than me I will say. Rest in peace. But Chyna She had the most beautiful vagina. I loved her vagina when I saw it at Playboy. I don't I think that was photoshopped. Okay.

I'm crushing my dreams. Well, because Chyna and I feature danced together. Did you? We did. Okay, because I got to show you. And she was like, I got to show you. I got to be like Chyna, paying the big bucks to see those panties come off. And she like, did not want to take them off. No. Yeah. Okay, I think it had to have been photoshopped then because I saw it in Playboy and I was just like, man, I did not expect her to have that pretty of a pussy. I mean,

You know what? I will say, though, that she is one of those beautiful people. She had been so screwed over money-wise. I mean, her sister had cleaned out all the money she made from WWE. The storyline that she went through with, like, I don't remember, Mr. Whatever that guy is. That guy's married to Stephanie McMahon. Like, all that stuff was real. And she lost everything. And she really loved wrestling. And she had a hard childhood. And so when we became friends, it was... Rest in peace. She passed away. She passed away. It was honestly...

She passed me the date I had gotten out of like first time I put myself in real rehab. But like that's... So a celebrity rehab, not a real rehab? It was real. But at the time, I really... So when Chyna called me, Chyna's manager called me. And it was funny because I knew my Xanax problem was bad. I knew I was starting to happen where now I wasn't getting... Strip clubs were like I was a liability. They didn't know what I was going to do. I mean, I went on stage always. That was the thing. I went on stage.

I never missed a show. Never missed a show. But it was like, what would I do on that stage? Yeah. What would I say to the people? What would I, you know, like some clubs loved it though because I was entertaining. Some clubs hated it, you know? Right. And, but also it was just getting bad. Like I would tell my mom, I'm going to come visit your new circle at 1 p.m. I wouldn't wake up till 7 p.m. when I was down here. I was, you know how it is. I get it. You're taking it off the annex, you know, it builds up in your system. Oh yeah. It circles through your liver twice. Yeah. And the next day of one drink and you're just back in that loop again. Oh, lit. Yeah.

And you know, and it was just getting bad. And I was taking. I loved those times. I know. I love Xanax. You should see my husband. We were watching like, I remember watching like Mindhunter on Netflix and the guy got a Valium prescription. Yeah. And I was like, oh, he's so lucky. He's so lucky. Like, I want those. No, I was just telling

my best friend the only thing i would rob from someone and i'm not it was xanax well not now i'm scared because they're everything's laced with fucking fentanyl but i told her when we go back to vegas i was like i gotta go see my old doctor because i haven't can i hit his number because i'm feature dancing in vegas too it's one of the places i've been sober for sober and straight edge for like three going on four years and it's been the worst time of my life yeah i'm ready to lick a xanax you know what though for those i would say that because like i was sober for over a year and then i mean i don't

really well with sobriety. The anxiety is terrible. Well, for me, my anxiety, so I stayed sober, got married to, well, I don't know, there's so many other in between things. My mom jumped. Celebrity Reel was great. Let's talk about Celebrity Reel. It was great. But I didn't think I was an alcoholic. I thought I had a Xanax problem and I thought getting rid of the Xanax

was going to make me better. Right now. And so when I got out of there, I wasn't on Xanax anymore. I stayed Xanax. How did they? So when you got off a celebrity rehab, you weren't on Xanax anymore. Did they give you another pill to replace? Well, to sleep at night, I've seen Seroquel, which let me tell you,

I've heard stories. It is the worst thing. Actually, my husband is an ER doctor. It was funny. He had this patient come in and she ended up passing away and no doctor could figure it out. And once he told me the case, it's funny because I can figure it out. I'm like, it was the Seroquel withdrawal because Seroquel withdrawal, when I tried to get off of those, it was the worst thing ever. And the only reason I finally got off of it was because my thyroid had gotten slow and it was linked to that. It was linked to so many things. But at the time, Drew had put me on 50 milligrams. The problem was, obviously, you're not going to get it.

You need more and more and more. Is he a real doctor? Yes, he is internal medicine doctor. Okay. Went to the same med school as my husband. USC. You got a thing for doctors. I do know. Well, you know, it's NBA players over here. NBA players and rappers was my 20s. And then when I hit my 30s. Oh, no, I love rappers. I'm right there with you. Yes, you do. But no, but then I was like, I was so done with the Hollywood people. I was like, I need a doctor.

Yeah But the problem is They're all so boring I would go on dates with them And I'm like Ugh I was in zero sexual attraction Like zero How did you meet your husband? Oh my god Let me tell you What I told the neurosurgeon Okay Quickly So him I told him This is my story to guys I don't want to have sex with That were doctors And they believe it Because they're doctors And they have no They have no street smarts You know I would be like Except for my husband Because he's not normal

No, he's really not. He like dropped it. I don't think any of us are normal. No, but he's not a normal doctor. The rest of them are, you know, and I would tell him, I was like, I'm so sorry due to porn and how people view me wanting sex all the time. I cannot have sex with you until I know you really love me. So probably not until we get engaged or married, but you'll stick with me and show me through, you know, ways that you love me. Does it work?

I mean, yeah. Yeah. It worked with the neurosurgeon and it worked with this other doctor. He was a PICU, pediatric ICU doctor. Yeah. And I remember we were in a hotel room together and he kept like, because I, okay, if I like a guy, I am like laying on their knees. But if I don't, it's weird. If they touch me, I'm just like,

Yeah. And so I told him, I'm so sorry. I told him the same story. I'm like, and I'm like, and I don't like any touching. And in fact, I was like, the bed divides here. Do not cross your line. You can stay. But it totally works. Yeah. It

it wouldn't work for a street smart guy though you don't write for like nerds well see that's my problem is i love hood rappers i did i cannot i did i love musicians my dad did so it's like yeah so i just it just has trickled over and hopefully our kid doesn't date musicians don't go tell him go for a doctor and honestly i regret like i love my husband but i wish i would have stuck with a nerdy doctor yeah you know because he's a bad boy doctor yeah he was like

biker and like dropped out of college and then was a chef but then went back to college at 27 and didn't even go to med school until his 30s so he had this like but that's what I liked about him you know so how did you meet your husband now I was and how long have you guys been together um okay let's see well I met him in July of 2017 but I was like with another relationship I'd just gotten out of let's see I went to rehab in 2000 because I met him

through like a rehab program I was part of Promises how many times have you been to rehab so there was celebrity rehab rehab but I didn't really believe I was an alcoholic then in 2014 I started going to A occasionally because my second husband was kind of like you know I'd gone to a dance booking and got so drunk that like I went on stage with toilet paper coming at me and people thought I was a tampon string and I refused to take tips I was

I was like, no, not taking, no, you know? And so, you know. I love her. Yeah, the next day, like, you're like the girls I've all grown up with in Vegas. So there's nothing you can tell me that is like shocking because I've seen it all. Yeah, my best friend from high school actually came up there and she told me that, she was like, and she has seen me fly. She was like, this is the worst you ever were. And it's because they gave me a 7 p.m. show and a midnight show. Yeah.

That's a lot of hours. Yeah. You know? Too much uncontrolled time. Yeah, for sure. And, you know, and so my, and then like, I don't know. And then like the guy that was helping me

he got like he got arrested and the cops came to my house I mean I was like just drunk in my room like ready to go to sleep but the guy who was helping me who was staying with me he I guess got banned from the hotel in the meantime and the cops came and he had already just thrown pizza in my room so then they kicked me out at three in the morning after I just went through this with the club so I had to like find a new hotel I had to call the club the next day and be like I'm really sorry if you have to pick me up at another hotel after they just went through what they saw the night before have you ever thought about writing a book you know I had a book deal

I was doing celebrity rehab. I feel like there's so many layers to you. Yeah. It's just impossible to cover all of them. I had two years to get the proposal done and I liked it. Because I had to meet with ghostwriters and all this stuff. And I remember finally, though, this writer from...

We finally got together and we wrote that. I mean, finally in like 2010, I was like, you should really do it. Well, when I called the agency, like 2012, I'm ready. They're like, well, you're not been on TV for a while. Yeah. But maybe the governor run, I'll get to go because I have the proposal ready. Dude, get on it because you really, I'm more responsible now. Back then in my twenties, once everything started happening with the girl, I'm still trying to grow up. I'm fucking 41. No, no,

No, I'm just saying like I'm much better than I was then. I'm still not like great. Yeah. You know, I mean, I'm still not good at adulting. We're all figuring it out. So how did you meet Hubby now? Okay, well, because I went through my divorce from my second husband in 2016 and he sent, that psychiatrist sent me, my psychiatrist was like, because I have like, so plump.

planned like when I got divorced I'm like I gotta get on TMZ so I can get back to featuring some more up my feature rate this is like 2016 that's all I think about so I purposely like went out like I called TMZ it was like I'm gonna be going in here having a divorce party I brought some girls came out I don't remember leaving but my whole plan inside the restaurant was like I gotta get super shit-faced and act crazy so it makes it on TMZ which it did but then my agent my my psychiatrist who I met through Dr. Drew Dr. Charles Sophie who I

love except for he won't give me Xanax that's the only problem well I know he's a smart one because if you're listening please but um yeah so um he was like Mary because of my reputation I need you to go to rehab yeah and I'm like oh because at the time like the insurance I had I'm like I was like gonna have to go to like a not like a you know yeah like a state who knows right right it was like

I'm not gonna have like I can't do this he's like if you don't I'm like I'll go to outpatient I'm like I was like I can't Dr. Sophie was like I will not see you anymore right he was like almost like a father figured me so I was like I don't know so then he's like okay lady from the he's like I set it up where you're gonna go to promises in Malibu I'm like that's 65,000 like I can't yeah he's like no no no I'm gonna get it for you you're gonna get scholarship you know I'm like oh I'm like I'm getting divorced

I want to find a new husband. I'm like, this is going to be so fun. It's like the four seasons without the drinks. Right. And rich men. Yeah. Perfect. So sure enough, I started dating a guy my third day there and he was great, but he was 10 years younger than me and turned out to be a worse alcoholic than me. Oh no. But it was great. It was great, great, great. Like his family was so nice and he was weird because you know, he lived at home with his parents. So I was like 35 flying up to visit him and like his parents were in the house. We went on lots of trips always with his parents. Yeah. We had like a joining

It was awkward. Weird. But I loved it because it was like having this mom and dad. Family that you never had before. And they were the nicest people. Yeah. But like the thing is though, he started giving me his ultimatums. He was like, you know, and that's the thing I will say. It happens. So many guys, they love that you're Mary Carey. They're like, I want to go out with Mary Carey. And I tell her friends, look at Mary Carey. Look at her picture. You like her? Look, she's on TV. And then like a couple months go on. It's like my friend watched you on Pornhub.

And you know, I don't like you posting sexy pictures. Yeah. You know, can you not do this? And you know, I don't want guys touching you when you feature dance. It's always cool in the beginning. It's always cool. Everyone wants it and then they can't handle it. Right. So that's what happened with this guy.

So he gave me his ultimatum. He was like, I don't want you... And I even had gotten pregnant with his baby. It was a whole thing where his family... It was just... And that's why I feel like God's cursing me now with my whole infertility thing. We're going to lead into that once we hear about how you met him. Either way, he was like, you can't be married to Carrie anymore. And I was like secretly doing dance bookings and clubs were getting mad because I would be like...

I wouldn't say I'm dancing at it. I would like not post flyers because I was like telling him I was hosting. And then he just gave me this final ultimatum, like no more Mary Carey. And meanwhile, I had just like been on my mom's about a year sober, went out to exotic dancer convention and all the clubs, you know, for feature dancing and the future. They're all like, we want to book her every week. She's sober. She looks great now. Yeah.

And I didn't tell him, I told him I was going out there for my final Harada, say by the clubs. But really I was like, you know what? I'm almost a year sober. Cause I got a year sober month later. And I was like, I'm going to go kick ass and feature dance right now because I

I'm 37. You're present. But I'm also 37. I knew it was coming to an end. Right. Although I did always tell my agent, I'm willing to feature dance at 60, 70. Give me a hotel six, a dollar. Give me a little nip and tug and I'll fucking slap my old ass somewhere. Now I'm like scared to feature dance, but I'll get into that too. After all these years of loving it. But so then I knew he was breaking. I knew we weren't going to work. And like a couple months prior, I was at a barbecue and

for the rehab I had gone to. Oh, well, because I went to Promises Malibu. But then I also had to go back three months later to Promises again because...

I didn't really think I was an alcoholic yet the first promises I went just like kind of like this is fun I'll meet a guy but then I really got really bad like I got so bad that I was like oh my god you had to go back and it sucks because I was debating like Brazilian butt lift or rehab I was like Brazilian butt lift is gonna be more at the time was gonna be a better I thought better investment but at the same time I was like if I don't I'll just die yeah so I went to rehab again promises gave me a scholarship but this time no Malibu for me they

They sent me to the professionals program because they said that they thought I was getting too much special treatment. And they said, because of like, you know, the education I had grown up with, they're like, you need to be like, kind of like highly smart people. Not that they're like, you're just, they're like, you're being coddled. And these doctors are going to put you with the doctor lawyers program. And I was like, great future husband there. Yeah. So I mean, always thinking about that. And at the same time, I was really obsessed with my boyfriend because my boyfriend was in a rehab too again. Um,

The one I met the first rehab, he was also back in rehab. Right. But like, so a year later, you know, I'm almost here. The one that gave you the ultimatum. Yes. Okay. But at this point, we hadn't done that yet. Right. But then he did. And it was getting towards the end of our relationship. And I was, and I was very active in promises. Like I went, I did, because it was my only social life. All my friends drank into drugs. Right. So I pretty much, my best friend became this like anesthesiologist. Right.

That was my roommate in rehab. And we went to like sober bowling and sober comedy night. Only hung out with her. Went to like promise. I only would go to promises AA meetings though, because again, I was looking for, you know, always got, even though I had a boyfriend, I was like always on the lookout, like there's gotta be better. So is that how you met your husband? I was at a barbecue and it was July of 2017. And the boyfriend was the boyfriend at the time I was sober and he was back drinking and he was bad. I mean, he was like a,

I mean, I was like, he was worse than any porn star I've ever seen. He could drink a whole bottle of vodka, like a whole bottle of vodka. Literally, when I say one, like,

Oh, that's not attractive. No, I would never. Like if you're not even going to get dick when they're drunk, like I don't want it. Well, yeah, it was just bad. Yeah. And so I knew I needed someone better. So I remember I was at the barbecue, eyes open. And, you know, my husband Joe was hitting on me a little, but I was just like, oh, Joe. And I remember like someone's like, he's an ER doctor. And I was like, that guy is a doctor.

Like I'd never seen doctors with the tattoos and then the hair. And then he was wearing, he was wearing like a cowboy hat with a soccer jersey. It was a really weird outfit. And so I was just like, I like it, Joe. I like your style. I,

I was just not into it But I was also Because I was still obsessed With the boyfriend Right So like two months later I'd always see him at our Amy I was always seeing him around Right But I just thought He was really socially awkward And like you know Those were the best ones No he wasn't socially awkward I shouldn't say that He because he says like Comments to people And they sound so mean And I was like Other people weren't Getting his humor Joe when's your birthday No

Oh, you're a Sagittarius. I call him Sagittarius. Yes, exactly. He's like, he, he, yes. Well, you're June 15th, right? All three of my husbands Sagittarius. Well, because you're a Gemini Cancer and Sagittarius, my husband's a Sagittarius. Gemini and Sag is a soulmate sign and Aquarius and Sag. I was obsessed with astrology in high school. Yeah. I was the go-to for my friends. I would like, I actually had a YM like astrology chart taped above my bed.

Yeah, that's why though. That's why you guys work like that. That's so funny. You know it more than I do, but I love that stuff. So you guys met. I met him. I wasn't really interested for a couple months. But then like the meetings we used to go to, everyone lived on like Beverly Hills, Brentwood. And I lived in the Valley. And he one day was like, you know, we could go to meetings together in the Valley. And I was like, well, you know what?

I guess that would be good because I would like someone to go to meetings in the Valley with. So I gave him my number. But then like five minutes later, he texted me after the meeting. Can I have a picture, you know, just to save with your number? And I was like, oh, is that for a picture? No. So I just ignored him. Yeah. But then a couple weeks later, I knew my relationship with the young guy was done because...

I knew that I had like eight weeks straight of feature dance bookings. Right. That was the end of the ultimatum. So I told that guy I was willing to quit being Mary Carey. Right. As long as you could take care of me. Exactly. I was like, I will move in, you know, but he was like, no, not until you prove you're not Mary Carey. Like a true narcissist. Yeah. And then I'll go be a waitress. I'm like, that's great. I was like, but I won't pay my bills. I'm like, you know, it wouldn't pay my bills. He didn't get it. It wasn't the lifestyle I was used to. I've had somebody do it to give me. No,

no you're fine you're gonna have to put ray on a new spot i'm not kidding it's really sweaty it's okay okay but anyway let's talk so then i finally went on date with him because then he texted me when i knew and he asked me do you have any um young hot single friends so i was like it's 37 that was his way yes just trying to fucking get your attention yeah but i was like it's 37 typical sad mood pay attention to me

Well it worked Yeah It worked And I was like This 37 tool And he's like Depends what she looks like More like a my tool Then he said no So we talked on the phone a little And then before The next AA meeting We just like walked over To a Starbucks And we talked And then it was weird Because now since I knew I was done with the young guy All of a sudden I'm looking at him And I was like

wait a minute, like he's got like pretty eyes and he's tall. And, and then the only thing that turned me off is I remember we were having coffee and he was telling me about when he hung out with the, um, hell's angels on his motorcycle. And I'm like, Oh my God. He was just trying to be tough. Well, I was like, look at that go. And I was very upset. Cause I'm like, you must think I'm a stereotypical porn star. He's got to tell me he's a biker. Well, it turned out he really was a biker, but I just didn't believe him at the time. I didn't,

believe him so at the time I was upset that was the only thing that bothered me is I thought he was like stereotyping me but yeah so then we went on but then the next couple dates I mean I literally was like

I would go to a feature booking, land on Sunday, because I'd only be in town until Wednesday. And I'd be like, meet me for dinner the second I land. And he was always a half hour late. And just like... My husband doesn't even show up. So at least he shows up. He was late. I mean, another time I had to go to a convention to sign, I Ubered with my big suitcases and stopped and visited him in his rehab. And then went to the airport. I went out of my way. Rehab where he was being a doctor at. No. Or where he was...

He was in the doctor's rehab. Oh, gotcha. So he was in the doctor's rehab I had gone to, but a year later. Okay. But it's like, it's not like a normal, you live in apartments with other doctors. You have left freedom. Gotcha. It's very different. So you guys were both healing together. Yeah. And then we were sober together. Yeah. And things were great. So now you guys are on this adventure. But then, well, then we moved to Florida. So then we were like, I still get my place there. I was like, cause I had to keep my place. I owned it before marriage. If things don't work out, security blanket. Yeah. And I'm just kidding. Yeah.

She's kidding. Not anymore. Don't get a divorce after you get out of the podcast. No, no. You know what I mean? It's like now I'm in the beginning, but now I'm just like, I'm, we've gotten super close because you know, there's obviously a lot of rough patches and then of course marriage is not fucking easy. It's not at all. And he was wanting me, you know, and it was funny because,

I loved feature dancing. He kept telling me, this is fine while you're wearing gauge, you can feature dance. And he'd come on the road with me and he was great. I mean, he was leather jackets. When I was a guy, like I would be like not paying attention. He'd be pushing people out of the way, knocking them down. If they tell you, he's great. It turned me on a lot, you know? And, um, it was just, it was so much fun. But then he's like, he kept telling me you need to retire when we get married. And I didn't believe him. And then it was like my last, but like, that's what Jay told me too. That's what my husband told me. I was not willing. And then he, I, cause I thought he was joking. And then I saw he was serious. So,

So I was kind of sad because I didn't get to appreciate those final bookings. Yeah. Well, it's not even that. It's like we don't like being told what to do and we don't want to have to stop. No, mine's I really like to feature dance. She's like my whole fucking career is because of this fucking feature dancing. It really is. It's all I wanted to do. So now you guys are married. We got married and I quit feature dancing. But then he hadn't been working for a couple months. He got to be on paid disability while he was until he had a certain amount of sobriety.

Right. So he was getting paid disability traveling around the country with me. All of a sudden, he hits his year sober. I just retired from feature dance. We get married and I'm like, okay, what do I do? I'm ready to be a mom now. I mean, I guess I go to the mall and buy a purse. That's how, I swear you sound like me when she moved in with

me this is my best friend in 17 years she's like so what do you do I'm like I'm a fucking housewife no I hated it I was so depressed I started drinking I had been sober like all of a sudden he'd be gone for 12 hours I was like well what do I do I remember I was working it's hard I was in my bar class like why am I even working out like not gonna get naked for anyone I mean except for him why

Why bother? That's how I found out. Why am I here? No, I swear. I'm like, all my friends are getting dick and I'm just like, it must be nice. I'm married five years. So, but now you guys are trying to have a baby. Well, yes, then we moved to Florida and I thought this would be even better because you get like the amazing house. I love it. I keep trying to get a...

I always want people to come over our house because I'm also. Yeah, she texted me at 2 o'clock in the morning. We live like in the middle of nowhere kind of. Not in the middle of nowhere, but it takes a long time just to get like. So I always try to get anyone to come over because I don't want to go. I don't want to leave ever. I'm very like comfortable not leaving the house, which I didn't used to be like, you know. No, I'm the same way. But now I am. Yeah. And so what we. They can't even get me to go eat dinner out here. Well, I like to go eat dinner though. I'm not me. Well, but you know.

what I don't care it depends I mean if someone wants to if I want to yeah I like going out to dinner I'm just like on my own wave so you guys are trying well yes we went to Florida I got even worse than my drinking yeah it was like an all-time worse like six months of depression and then it's an adjustment yeah you know

And then car accident. Not, you know, and then I had a broken neck for three months. So then I was really depressed. Yikes. And I was still drinking and then my friend, Robert Dahl, she was visiting me a lot and she like looked at me one day. She's like, you're going to be, she's like, she's seen me drink over the years and she's seen me so much. She's like, this is the worst I've ever seen you. She's like, you're going to be like a 400 pound alcoholic who dies

if you don't put yourself together. It freaked me out. But that's, sometimes you need that tough love. So then I got myself sober again. But then now, I mean, we've gone, but then it got bad. No, it's about, unfortunately when you, I go through four or five days of binges now and then I'm sober three weeks. Yeah, I don't care. The one time I called you I was a binge. But it's because, well, it started because of fertility treatments. So we're trying, you know, I always used to joke, I was like, I'm just going to have,

I used to say I was going to have a surrogate. In fact, he promised me on our third date what sold me. I remember I called my friend in the car. I'm like, this guy is my soulmate. He says he's going to get his wife a surrogate. I'm going to marry him because I get to have a surrogate. That's what I really thought. But then, you know, now he's like, no, you know, it's like $100,000, a lot of legal fees.

Yeah So he kind of lied to me On that one No it's not even that We My husband and I Had the same agreement About getting a surrogate And when we started Looking into it These women can carry These babies And literally keep them From you if they want to Yeah Like it's not guaranteed No and I You know a lot of girls Have talked to Say it's actually Worth it to feel

it yeah I've like changed my opinion on that right so then I started always joking to people I'm gonna wait till like my 40s IVF have twins just do one time but then like I thought be so easy it just looks like it's so easy to happen but it's not it's not and I just like so I gotten pregnant through an IUI like a year ago it ended up being ectopic after spending all this money I've had two ectopics have you lost a philippine tube also yeah oh yeah it's the worst yeah it's it's

brutal so you lost both tubes yeah they tried to solve it and it happened again in the same one right yeah because that's what happens no they happened i had one in each tube happens so they i have half of a tube right here i had to go in for some tests where they shoot die and to see how oh it was the most horrible thing did you do it yes i cried on the way home and had to drive myself home from it because i just remember i like didn't because i don't wear underwear like unless wearing a skirt

and I was wearing underwear afterwards and they're like here's a pad it never occurred to me that I would have like stuff and I had a nail appointment so like thank god I was wearing like black sweats but like that stuff was dripping out of me it was painful I went through all I guess that's all I've done is go through testing yeah and so then after that we decided to move on to IVF and I mean like right now it's like put down the cash with them you know literally brought them cash to the discount and um

So I started my, I was going through the meds and it's, it's like, I'm at the doctor's office. That's why then when the music view, I have to go to the doctor's office at like eight, nine AM and in some Boca, like,

like almost every other day to do. That point I was on, when we were doing the music video, I just got off estrogen patches, which they make you very, like very, very, like you swell up in your abdomen. Oh no. It's very uncomfortable. And then I did the, so we did the estrogen patches. I developed a cyst. So then they had me go into just straight injections, which we just did this last couple weeks ago. And then that gave me, um,

One egg was too far along and so they had to cancel mid-cycle. So now we have to buy the meds again. So now I'm on birth control. Tomorrow I'm going through... I wouldn't mentally be able to handle that. That's why I've tapped out of the pregnancy thing. Every time one of it fails, I think that I just had the cyst and estrogen patches when I went on that drinking... I'm going to start crying. It puts me on a... I think like why...

Am I trying to be healthy? You know, like, so I get drunk and then the problem, I drink.

it's like last like five days. I want to come hug you. I'm really sweaty. No, don't hug me. Seriously. You're going to regret it. It's really sweaty. I hate when people cry in front of me. No, it's just because then I see it all out. It's just, no, it's rough, dude. And a lot of people ask me all the time. I get it. A lot of people ask me all the time. When are you going to have a baby? When are you going to have a baby? And they're like, they don't understand the mental duress that this shit puts you under, dude. I mentally cannot handle having my hormones fucked. I already have. I have suicidal depression. I don't need something to put me over the fuck.

Yeah.

And it is so, you know, it's worse. But now I'm just like. I'd probably end up having a divorce if I fucking got put on all that shit. You wouldn't, but you might not stay sober. Because let me tell you, when you find out. Listen, I'm trying to stay sober and I'm not even going through all that. So I could only imagine. Like literally when they tell me the cysts, I mean, it was like 11 a.m. And I was like, Joe, go.

Go to the grocery store. I'm getting some vodka. Then when I found out mid cycle after we just spent, let's see, $4,000 for the appointments going every other day, $4,000 on meds just to find out it didn't work. And then like to make it worse, he goes to me after he sees what he sits me down. He's like, have you not a donor egg? And I'm like, are you kidding? Like we have not even, you know, so then I'm like, I made it, I made it to like 5 PM that day. I'm like, Joe, you know what? Can I get some vodka? Yeah.

And then it turns into five days of drinking though because every time I drink the next day the anxiety is so bad. That's why I don't drink. That's why I tell everybody I can't drink because the next day I can't handle it. I know it puts me through it. And the only way I got myself out of this last bender was thank goodness like a physician friend of mine I explained what happened with this whole IVF thing and I was like the only thing that's going to get me to stop because it goes on for day after day after day is a Valium or something. So that's the only way because that's what snaps me out of it because of the anxiety. Yeah.

so now, you know, tomorrow I'm going through experimental, um, like they're giving me amniotic fluid. I'm part of like a trial. So I'm a little nervous, you know, but it's supposed to be, they don't know if it's going to help with your eggs, but you know, it's supposed to make you feel younger. I'm like, I know I'm a little nervous though. Cause like Joe's like, Oh, look at the trials, the rats, they healed. I'm like, yeah, what if I like grow an extra arm or something? Hopefully not. And then, so then I start injections and then literally like eggs, if everything works out, eggs retrieved and then on a plane to LA to like campaign. Um,

So here we go. Well, hopefully next time you come on the podcast, you'll be like the governor. That would be, you know, if I am, seriously, I really like it. Can I be your secretary? I like your team of people. Aren't they amazing? So you know what? Seriously, if I were to win, you guys could all come and I'll give you all positions. Aw, we would love to come.

I just want to be your sexitary. Can I just be your sexitary? No, I think Lieutenant Governor. Oh, shit balls. California would not know what hit him. Okay. It would be so much. Two dumb blondes. It'd be perfect. Well, then,

Mary, thank you so much for being here. I feel, I cannot wait to have you back because I feel like there's so much more we need to talk about. No, no, no. I love it. And I just feel like there's so much more to uncover, but I really, what can we expect from you? Uh, you know, coming up in this next year, I mean, in this next year, let's see. Well, I'm going to focus on my campaign. Yes. Starting. Let's, uh,

When will we get the results from that? Oh, I guess I can tell you the announcement now because I'm giving TMZ, they were on the exclusive, but by the time this airs, which is that I'm going to be doing like all my campaign rallies and campaign tour and I'll be sponsored by the Deja Vu Hustler chain. So because they have like,

So many clubs in California And then I'm gonna do Just like Vegas and Nashville Outside Let me know when you go to Vegas Maybe we can meet you out there Yeah I really honestly Didn't want to take the Vegas one Because like With trying to like Deal with my drinking Yeah It's hard going to Vegas Yeah It's really hard Like you know Even when he You know when we were sober No Vegas is definitely a trigger It's just a really Especially the strip club there And because

And I had been feature dancing sober for a while. And my Vegas was my last booking when I retired. And my first show on a Thursday night, it was just like, it was like five people. I was like, I have to have a drink. He's like, you know what? Go for it. Because it was not the way you want to go out. But then the next two nights were so good. But that triggered the drinking. So now I'm mad. It's like, I remember being on the mic. I remember being crazy. I remember like so much fun. But like I wasn't present because I was drunk. So that's why I'm like,

Like, I'm kind of, I guess, you know, the one thing I always said about running for governor was years later when I became friends with Lisa Ann and she was such a smart businesswoman. When she came back. I love soaking up knowledge from women like that. I mean, at 38, when she was being at Nail and Palin, she told me she knew what it was like to not make a big porn, to not, you know, to have to hustle really bad featuring. So when she got that chance, you know, the opportunity I was given when I was 23, I didn't

I didn't fully appreciate it. I was careless with my money. you know, I, I was like, you know, making like, I was like a young athlete or a rapper. Like, you guys don't have enough money. Let's go. We made so much money. And we make fast money like that, you know? So I remember thinking, God, if I had another chance to run for governor and do it again, I could be so smart this time. You know, so,

So it's like, and this is what I'm like, put up your ass girl. You have like, you have a real cool thing, you know? And I'm telling you, you, you, you're fucking smart. I like to do only fans. Like that was the big thing that helped me with my depression. I was so depressed here. And then Wendy, Joe was just like, you know, like before that, the only time I was undepressed was I went to a hip hop class once a week.

And here, my little hip hop class, I liked it. It was fun because I was looking at the dance. I pretend I was featuring. And so that, and then like a couple times I cammed behind his back. And I used to hate camming, like camming. But like I was like, this is so fun. I'm Mary Carey for a minute, you know. But then when I started OnlyFans, and it was fun because I basically do my feature shows. No one's going to join when I say this. I'll just show you. I remember my friend Barbara was like, what are you doing on there? I'm like, I wear my feature costumes and I do a feature show.

Yeah. No, I do other stuff too. Yeah. But if you want to see my feature shows, go to my OnlyFans. Yeah, tell everybody where your OnlyFans is and your Instagram so they can follow you. Oh, everything. OnlyFans, Instagram, Twitter are all real Mary Carey. Real Mary Carey. And Mary Carey, number four governor because the porn company that I ran for last time, Mary Carey for governor, the FOR, they kept it and won't give it to me. Oh.

Even though they're not even a porn company anymore. I don't know. It's just, it holds, they just probably wanted you to buy them out. You know why? Because they're probably like, well, let's quickly throw something up on there. Yeah. But yeah, so Mary Carey, number four governor, and then marycarey.com has links to everything. But yeah, so the plan for this year is run for governor, hopefully make a lot of money. Mm-hmm.

Featured ants at a high rate. My agent's like, what rate are you looking for? And I realized I said too low. Now I'm actually not going to go through my agent. That was all, all the agents are calling me and fighting. And like, because number one, you know, this is about to be big again, but number two, no girls want to feature anymore because if only

fans yeah and that was the craziest thing I found myself now that I can do my nobody wants to work I don't really want to only fans is so much work that as you know but like now I'm even like huh like I can do my feature show on only fans yeah I don't know if I want to go to the club anymore totally you know and and and Joe's my audience so you know I'm like do I really know this is a win-win situation for Joe like I don't know if I want it but

because I'm a little, because I also, when I was younger, didn't realize strip clubs were a dangerous place. Right. I had no clue. I didn't know. Yeah. Now I'm like a little scared. But, you know, so feature dancing, running for governor, OnlyFans, and then hopefully a baby. Yay.

And then lipo, tummy tuck, Brazilian butt lift, and then back onto OnlyFans. You know what? Just speak it all into the air and it's going to happen. That's how you got to. Okay. Hopefully two babies. Thank you so much for coming on. I know. Yes. Get the twins. Yeah. Odin and Valkyrie are the names. Nobody better copy those. That is so cute. I love the Valkyrie. I know. I always liked the name like Lila, but then he said Valkyrie and I was like, oh my gosh, I love it. Cause she could be Val for short. Yeah. And then I'm going to do Lee, like my Valkyrie, Lee Brownfield. And if she wants to be a porn star, she has to be Valkyrie Lee. Oh,

She's not gonna be a porn star. I'm drawing the line there. Playboy stripping the porn. Mary, I love you so much. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast. And I cannot wait to have you on again. Okay. Thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of Dumb Blonde. I will see you guys next week. Bye.