Dr. Felix: Sex Talk
45:19 Share

This season, Instacart has your back to school. As in, they've got your back to school lunch favorites, like snack packs and fresh fruit. And they've got your back to school supplies, like backpacks, binders, and pencils. And they've got your back when your kid casually tells you they have a huge school project due tomorrow.

Hey, podcast listeners! Great news! All your favorite comedy podcasts can be enjoyed outside of the

Is this thing on?

All right, gentlemen, coming to main stage next, this is Bunny. Get up there. She's got a tornado of titties coming your way. Get those dollar bills ready. She's got an ass that shakes like Michael J. Fox. So get up there and throw, throw, throw them dollars. Dude, that is fucking iconic. What's up, you sexy motherfuckers? Welcome to another episode of Dumb Blonde.

The motherfucking doctor is in. So happy to be back. Dude, Doc Felix is back in the house. I'm so excited to have you here. Thanks for asking me to come back. Dude, I want you here all the time. Like you are literally one of the most requested guests. When people found out that you were coming on, my inbox was just flooded. They were so excited. That's awesome. I can't wait to hear the questions this time. Dude, what have you been up to? So let me thank you. Last time you were here was probably around October, November of 2019. Yeah.

It's been a while. It's been a whole, yeah, it's been a minute. You have grown so much. I have. Like, where do we begin? So you change locations. You own a service station. The service station by Felix. That's right. And it's still officially called Providence Obstetrics and Gynecology. I am not delivering babies anymore.

I am still doing gynecology and we just have a DBA for the spa side, but we're in one location. We found a beautiful location in Brentwood. We moved from Smyrna to Nolensville. During the pandemic, we hunkered down in Lux Salon Suites, which was a really good fit for us at the time.

But it didn't take very long. As soon as things started opening back up, we needed more space. Yeah. We needed our own. So now we have our own. We're at 7909 Concord Hills, Wisconsin.

Drive you're literally right down the fucking street for me. Yeah. Yeah, I'm so close to Starbucks. I can just oh you're right there Literally you're fucking five minutes from my house. Yeah, dude. Yeah, I can wake up and just go get shit done. Come get shit done I'm excited. We have I've been watching from afar. I'm just like, okay taking notes everything. Oh my gosh We've had so much change too. So you probably I'm sure if you kind of just watch our feed You're probably like, all right here they go again

it's been an upgrade every single time. Yeah. You know, we've got new staff, we've got, um, new technology. Like it just, it's nice to see the practice, even though there's been a lot of change, it's been growth. Yeah. Instead of it just being changed because we're getting knocked around by pandemics and changes and things like that. We've been able to rally and grow and learn and,

still service the community. Yeah. The growth has been phenomenal to watch. So what are some things that you're doing now that you're offering that you weren't offering last time you were here? Cause she is a doctor. She does look at hoot nannies. She does all that stuff. I do. I do. Doesn't deliver babies though. Um, now you guys have like branched off though. And you're, you like have a whole aesthetics type thing now too, right? Yeah.

Actually, the aesthetics part is probably growing faster than the GYN part. And that's always been a big shock for me because when you're in healthcare and you're dependent on insurance companies and all that stuff, like you're struggling, you're in the fight with your patients trying to get things covered. And then like two years later, they show up with like a

lot of cash. Yeah. And they're like, okay, so I know I've got this balance from my hysterectomy, but I'm gonna need you to suck this fat out and make it tight. It's crazy to me that more women care about their looks than their pussy. But I'll tell you, I'll tell you what, though, it's been a blessing because as I'm doing liposuction, or as I'm working on faces, it never fails. Somebody will be like, uh, so you're an oncologist, right? Yeah.

Yes, ma'am. I am. Well, since you're down there. Yeah. I want to go dumpster diving. So what does it mean when? That's awesome. So you're doing lipo now. I'm doing liposuction and still the skin tightening part. So whenever we say body tight, it includes liposuction. But then I started just doing liposuction just to sort of do touch ups for people that have had liposuction.

you know, prior tummy tucks before other liposuction or they've had tightening procedures. They don't need it. Um, we've also branched out and we do larger BMIs than most plastic surgeons do. Um, so we do it in a staged procedure instead of you going and going to sleep and then waking up and, you know, you look like you've been to Miami or you look like

Yeah. Which is awesome. I've been to Vegas. I want to go. But listen, not to interrupt you, but I feel like women, I'm going through this right now and I don't think I've ever shared this like publicly. Everybody knows I've had my body done and I had a high def vasolipo and I had fat transfer to my ass six years ago.

It has been a fucking battle to lose weight. I have been, I did the 12 week program. Like I told you, I lost eight pounds and I'm tightening up, you know, but let me tell you something. It has been fucking hard. And I think what girls don't realize is surgery is not a fucking, it's not an answer. It's not the whole answer. It helps you look beautiful right away, but you have to maintain it.

You really do. It's not the easy way out. Like the recovery is really hard. You still have to be dedicated. Like a lot of times people don't want to take care of themselves as much as it's required. So even if it's a post-op, you know, you're taking care of yourself post-op from liposuction. Like I'm only going to do so much. And I have larger women come in and they're like, we'll just work on the belly. I'm like, all right, I'm just going to work on your belly. But then there's the sides.

And there's the back and the arms. And it's going to be, it's a never ending thing. So if they're not in it with me, they're not going to be happy. Like they have to be doing the work. Absolutely. As well. It just works better that way. Unless they're only worried about themselves.

Yeah, I couldn't agree more. But like, dude, losing fat around my ass since I've had fat transfer. Holy shit. Fat transfer actually gave me more dimples to fucking have to work with. Like my body loves fat. You know, some people's bodies don't love fat. Mine was like, give me all the fat. You kept all yours? Oh, I kept it all. Bitch, you can't even lose it on the fucking. I'm on a cut right now and I'm still fucking holding on to fat. It's crazy.

So you do lipo. What else? What are some other things that you do? We've had real, I've seen a pretty good uptick in the vaginal rejuvenation and actually wives bringing their husbands in because we do PRP therapy. So we've been doing injections, you know, like in the penis to help with sensation and regeneration. And does that hurt? What's the pain level of that? It does. Like you got to have your mind right. But let me tell you something. You don't numb the dick. I numb it. Oh, wow.

But I'm not numbing it any more than I numb a vagina.

I feel like vaginas can take a beating, you know? And dicks are like, you flick it and they're like, oh my God, the air rushed by. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The air's too cold. It's a bit brisk in here. You know, like that's how I feel. Like vaginas, man, we can get punched in our cunt and be fine. And fucking dudes like literally are just babies. I have literally been in all the way up to my elbow in a vagina. Both me and the patient are shocked. Like, holy shit. You see how far I,

Don't look down here anymore. Just don't look down here. Like, God, is that when they're giving birth or was this for fun? Oh no, not for fun. Okay. Cause you know, some girls do that. I know, but the, but the delivery thing has ruined that part. Like I'm not doing that. I'm me either. That's why I haven't had kids. Fuck that. My pussy hole does not need to be that big.

I mean, unless you want it that way. Let me just back up on that. I'm not judgmental unless it comes to me. I would judge the shit out of myself. Dude, I'm the same way. Swear to God, same way. Okay, so I keep interrupting you, but what else besides the dick injections?

You say dick and I'm like, where? What? Where? Where's the dick? I get so excited. I know. I'm like, why is it here? You know, because I don't have a ton of experience with that professionally. Oh, I do. We started doing some hands-free remodeling. So we're working with Cryo and Contour down the street. Dr. Poe, she comes down. She's a family practice physician and she comes in once a week. And so she has a primary care clinic that she runs at

the service station. And then we have a machine that we're trying to push out there. It's, it's a really good company. Sign sure. I think I'm short in V. I think I actually went to meet Dr. Poe. Oh, did you? Yeah. To see what she had to do. And she pretty much told me I just need to eat right. Well, that's her folks. That's what, that's what I like. And so I try to pair, pair up her strength. She was right though. Yeah. Like if you put those things together, you know, oh my gosh. Cause I,

The other thing is, you know, I'll be doing liposuction on somebody and they'll sort of ask me questions. All right, doc. What do I do after this? What do I need to do about my diet? Well, okay. You know what? I've got surgery in five minutes, but Dr. Poe has got this down to a science. No, she really does. We started doing more hormone replacement therapy. So we've been doing pellets. So yeah.

A lot of people are starting to experience dips in their sex drive or in just their interest in sex. Energy-wise, memory loss, things like that that all go along with

Memory loss. Yes. I never knew that. Sleep quality, irritability. It doesn't have to just be like hot flashes and mood swings. When does a woman really enter into, what is it, menopause? Asking for myself because I'm 41 and I'm horny as shit. So, okay. So you're entering in your peak right now. And my puss is fucking wetter than... Like throbbing.

Like, it's a problem. I'm horny. Like, it's bad. Like, can we fuck after this, Dr. Felix? I'm fucking horny. No, ask Mimi. Everywhere we go, I'm like...

It's disgusting. I'm like a fucking teenage boy right now. I know. I think it's unfair that it happens for women later than it happens for men. But if it happened at the same time, like the population would be off the chain. Oh, dude. And my husband is like opposite of me. Right. Not horny at all. Men are different. Men are different. They really are. They hit their peak early and, you know, they dip down...

When we're, when we're starting to be on an uneven keel right now, literally I can only fuck myself so much. No, I get sick of it too. I'm like, you know what? I'm done. Yeah. Like I need to just be held and banged really fucking hard and then I'm fine.

that's all i need maybe just once a month give me a good old passionate heave ho and i'm ready i'd be all right that's that's who my head's starting to hurt okay so when does when do women usually enter menopause so there i i need to differentiate differentiate between menopause and perimenopause so perimenopause that tends to be the time of most unrest like you're most uncomfortable like you know your surges are high your sex drive might be high during those perimenopausal years

emotional changes but menopause itself things sort of start to level out and you enter menopause after you've had 12 full months without a period I can't wait I want a fucking hysterectomy so bad everybody thinks I'm crazy but I'm like I already talked to my other doctor about it and she's like girl if you want it I'll give it to you

Cause I have literally ruthless periods. I have to fucking plan my entire life around my periods and I cramp for about 10 days. So have you tried, have she talked to you about an endometrial ablation? No. Okay. I've never been diagnosed with endometriosis, but I think it's quite possible. So an endometrial ablation is a procedure you can have and it gives you all the benefit of a hysterectomy without this, without the invasiveness of hysterectomy.

So, it doesn't affect your hormone levels at all, but it just destroys the functional lining of the uterus, so the inside of the uterus. So, you're left with all your parts. It's an outpatient procedure. Some people do it in their office. I'm one of them. So, you can do an endometrial ablation, and then you keep all your hormone levels natural, you know, just whatever your body is dictating or whatever your genetics dictate. Do you still have a period on it? Nope. Oh, okay.

And so without that period. Can I come in on Monday? So without that period, there tends to be no cramping. Right. And it tends to make the quality of life a lot easier. I'm not going to grow a mustache afterwards, am I? No, because there's no hormonal changes. Okay.

So if you had a hysterectomy, if you left the ovaries behind, then you get the same benefit, right? But it's just a bit different, you know, recovery and invasiveness. But a robotic hysterectomy is an outpatient procedure as well. So you could always go in and just have the uterus removed, leave your ovaries so that you can still...

have the hormone that you need for your sleep quality. I'm just going to start coming to you and just letting you fucking do everything. Cause nobody fucking tells me all the good shit like you do. You just keep it real. And that's what I love about you. I feel like that's why I have the patient following that I have. And the wait time is because we sit and we talk and you know, I need to know these things and they hit me up on Facebook and I try to, I try to reply. You're very accessible for a doctor. Most doctors are not accessible. I know. And then a problem.

It's a problem. So what else, um, you know, can we tell them about the service station? Like if somebody wanted to come to you and just fucking spend a day there, what could they do? So, cause I'm coming, we have asking for myself. Um, we have, I've hired two amazing estheticians. There's Marie and there's Karen, um,

We are, they're both PCA skin certified. So they have been together coming up with their, with protocols for things. So it depends on your goals. So it's one of those places you can walk in and you say, you know what? I,

I feel like my skin's not, you know, not shiny enough. It's really dull. Or you just sort of walk in and just talk to them and they can, or me, and we can tell you, you know, recommend some procedures or services. It doesn't have to be a procedure. We carry PCA skin line. It's a medical grade skincare, skincare line. So if you don't want to have a lot of procedures, then you can get the skincare line so that you can just do it yourself at home. Right. Yeah.

So let's see pellets. You're doing the neck tight stuff. Neck tight. That's on the body tight spectrum. So, uh, I know you're upset about, she's going to do a consultation. So for everybody who wants to know, I'm getting, I'm fucking almost 42 years old. I'm getting shit done. And I'm going to bring you guys along with me because one of the things I always do is keep it real with you guys. So you guys can see what's going on. So, um, doc is going to do some sort of treatment for me. Um,

We don't know which one yet. She's going to do a consult while we're on the podcast today of my neck because... Yep. When we do this, things change. It didn't used to do that, though. When I was 23, I could go like this and not have anything. And now, like, I laugh and it bullfrogs out and it just fucking... I hate it. Okay. Right.

She's like, she's going to make me do something. So, you know what I was thinking? Do you think, so you don't think I need neck tight? So with neck tight, it's just like body tight. We're going to be depositing radio frequency energy underneath the skin. So there's going to be incisions made. They're small, one under the chin. There's a few behind the ear. And then we tighten up all the skin here. All right. And suction out the fat. So if you can pinch and there's a fair amount of fat,

And there's not on you. There's skin. There's skin, but there's not like a fat pad, right? So if you just have loose skin, then you can tighten it with external radio frequency energy like Fractura or Tempture Envy. And that's pretty intense. That takes a couple sessions. It's intense? As in what do you mean? As in that shit works. Yes. Yes.

- Right, well I'm fucking coming in. - And then you don't have scars from that. So for you in particular, if I just saw you like that and you weren't moving, then I would say, sure, neck tight because that's gonna give the most bang for the buck. - Right. - But once you start touching it, if it's not solid fat under there, then you don't wanna hollow it out because if you take out a thin layer of fat, then you've got old saggy skin. - Oh no. - You don't want that either. - They all know. I'll fucking duct tape my neck. - See what I'm talking about? Then you would not be happy with me, right?

I mean, we'll just have to cut it out. I'll just be like, look, dog, if it's hanging, let's snip it. Cut my neck. I'm not kidding. Listen, I am crazy. I will fucking duct tape, fucking stuff, whatever, taxidermy my ass. Whatever I got to do to just preserve myself. I've done that to my breasts.

They look really nice. Thank you. Well, I'm so excited to have you back and so were people on the podcast. They have been waiting to get some questions answered and are you feeling up to answering a few questions? I am. I'm ready. All right, cool. Let me put the bifocals on because I'm blind as shit and let's see what we got going on here. Hold on one second. Okay.

What can I do to ease my symptoms of PMDD? It's terrible. Okay. So, PMDD, first of all, that is premenstrual dysphoric disorder. So, that is really, really intense premenstrual syndrome. I had it. So...

There are a couple of ways you can handle it. You can handle it, you know, just with pharmaceutical grade medication. There's something called Seraphim. You can take that two weeks out of the month or you can do a mini dose. Like I'm going to use the word microdose. I love microdosing. I just had to say that. Or you can take a lesser dose, a half dose every day of the month. Because for some people like me, it would be hard for me to think two weeks before my period is going to start and think, oh, I should take that pill right now. Right. Yeah.

but it's a sub-therapeutic dose of Prozac. So if you Google it and then you see that it's Prozac, there's going to be a lot of negativity around it because Prozac had a lot of negative effects

connotation associated with it back in the 70s and 80s in the early 90s I remember when I was younger if you were on Prozac you were considered crazy but Prozac is an amazing it's an amazing drug it's just one of those old tried-and-true medications it's not gonna kill your sex drive which is a huge consideration when you start talking about taking medications that are gonna alter you know your brain chemistry yeah and especially at my age you know I don't need anything

thing getting in the way of my sex drive at all. She's like, I like my hootenanny wet and dripping. I would love for that to happen. So it's one of those medications that you can dose really lightly to sort of help keep the emotional dips from being as low. But because it's such a small dose, you don't have to worry about it flattening you out. And that's the other, that's the flip side of an antidepressant is if it's going to keep you from getting very, you know, emotionally low, then it's

And it also has potential to keep you from experiencing those emotional highs that we love. Right. So a low dose, something like serafim or just a really small dose of generic Prozac if you don't have really great insurance and can help with that. There's also a lot of data around Delta, Delta 8, Delta 9, CBD. So there's all sorts of... That's Mimi's shit. She loves it.

There are all sorts of other like, you know, homeopathic remedies that she can. That's what I did. So I, I'm self-diagnosed cause I know everything, but I literally, I know for a fact I had a PMDD and that's honestly what kind of sent me on this journey that I've been on the spiritual journey that has led me to micro dosing. But I,

Got on a really good vitamin regimen And I'm telling you it changed my fucking life Like it was I mean I went from the L-methylfolate To fucking you know now I take Standard process vitamins And I microdose twice now And I've noticed a huge fucking difference In my whole demeanor I mean you can even ask Mimi Mimi's been microdosing too

Um, but yeah, I feel like, you know, whatever works for somebody, you know, some people, the vitamins don't work and they need a little extra kick, which is fine. And that's, you know, if that's what people need to do, do whatever it takes to make you feel better, but don't sit and suffer. Yeah. Yeah. And especially out of fear. And so, you know, since, since people have access to me here, you know, we do telehealth appointments and things like that. So if there are people that are not local that want to have, you know, time to talk

then they can absolutely schedule a telehealth appointment. We can kind of work our way through it. I'd offer them Thursday evenings from six to seven and then sometimes on Tuesdays, but I'm usually my face-to-face patients on Tuesdays. You're a busy woman, but I love how you operate. If I was a doctor, I'd want to be just like you. Is it normal to get pimples on the lady downstairs? Yes.

Yes, it is. So that whole lady downstairs thing, I'm going to call it vulva or external vagina, the labia, the lips, whatever terminology you're using, that whole area down there is a modified sweat gland. There's going to be sebum production. Sebum can cause acne. It's really thick. It's hormonally affected, so it depends on where you are in your cycle.

then yeah, you can, your hormones can surge and you can get acne and breakout down there. If you are shaving, um, or waxing and you have curly hair, then it might be ingrown hairs. So that would, you know, each hair is associated with the sebum gland. I think laser hair removal is really helpful for people that get a lot, um,

acne or outbreaks down there and the other thing is it tends to hyperpigment a lot and so that will affect us in you know in some of these outfits that we like to wear baby suits and things like that you know you don't it sucks to have you know if you don't want a bush it sucks to have one but it sucks worse to like have shaved all the way out to here and everybody can tell because you're broken out you know hyperpigmented and things like that

If I ever, a little trick that I've always done, like if I break out down there, like from shaving or I wax all the time. And lately the waxing has actually been making it worse down there. I put like a little bit of silic acid, not on my lips, but anything like on the top right there. Like I'll put silic acid and it gets rid of it. Yeah, I agree. There are little tricks. Yeah. So, I mean, you can always do little tricks too, but.

But that was a good question. My man comes so fast, no matter how many times we have sex a week. Help. That is a different kind of doctor. He needs to come get his dick shot up by you, though, right? I think it's probably too sensitive. Now, I've heard of. I don't think there's a problem with coming too fast. Like, let's get it up and fucking get it over with. Oh, God, there's a such thing as. Oh, no. Is there really? Fuck.

I mean, like once I'm not, I'm ready to roll over and fucking who are you? You know, like you did, but she did it. Yeah. True. And he's done. True. Still singing, slinging limp meat. Oh, fucking limp biscuit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cause you know what happens after they, they do that. But, um, there are medications that he can take to, to prolong it. I've also, um,

But does it make it too long? I hate dudes that want to fuck for like two hours. Yeah, that's the other side. That's the flip side of that. Like, are you fucking yourself? Like, what is happening here? Are you just trying to show off? Like, what's really... Like, please stop. Yeah, like, enough, bro. Like, we get the point, okay? I'm not a fuck... I don't need my pussy jackhammered. If you have to grab the lube more than twice...

Oh, that's the worst. Yeah, no, dude, I hate that. And it's always the weird porn dudes who fucking take forever to come. You know what I'm talking about, right? Fucking just nasty shit.

So there's medication that he can take to prolong it. Right. And then, I don't know, you could maybe try a cock ring or something like that just to kind of maintain the blood flow. I don't know what his refractory period is. So if he can get it up pretty quickly afterwards, then, you know, maybe he just needs to kind of, you know, go down on you or do other like work until he's ready again until you're done. Yeah, for sure. Or maybe just like make sure you orgasm before he puts it in. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe he's just turned on, hella turned on by her.

It sounds like it's a, she said, she said no many, how, no matter how many times a week we do it. So it sounds to me like they got a pretty active sex life. They're doing it a lot and she's left hanging. Oh, that's a problem. Poor baby.

Why is my vagina and asshole getting darker as I get older? Okay. So it could, we talked about that hyperpigmentation thing. It could just be straight up hormonal. Um, if you have any sort of insulin resistance or diabetes that often will cause pigment changes in your skin, especially down there and on the back of the neck and in the axilla. So back of the neck, back of the neck.

Like we don't have enough fucking shit to worry about. God, new fucking fear unlocked. Yep. I'm going to have you check in the back of my neck now all the time. I would have already seen it. I've done that sometimes. I've been like, so when's the last time you had your A1C check? Because of the coloration on the neck. So hormonal, it could be that you've been, you know, doing things that are sort of

down there. So too much, too much shaving, waxing, depends on what, how your skin is responding to it. Just over time, those things, those things add up. Yeah. I have had a couple people ask me about skin bleaching and I haven't found any

like a safe and accepted protocol yet, but it's, it's a thing. No, I'm waiting. I can't wait till you start doing that. Cause I will definitely get it done. I use at home bleachers and stuff like that and they don't really work that good. You know? So, I mean, you would have to get something like professionally done, I think to lighten it. There's nothing I could recommend for it. And I've tried everything. So hydroquinone was something that we were able to use and it's something topical, but the U S has outlawed it. So we're not allowed to sell it anymore. Right.

Oh, wow. Yeah, so you have to go to other countries. I feel like they always take away the good shit. They do, yeah. You gotta die from something. Might as well be from a bleached asshole, right? I mean, I'm pissed off. Why can't we have pretty buttholes and pussies and shit? I know, right? It's gotta be cancer. It's gotta be.

What causes men not to be able to get their penis hard? Oh, there's so many, so many things. But again, that's not my area. I am not a urologist. I've got a lot of wiener questions. I know, right? So sometimes it's a mental block. It's an emotional block. It might be that they're not open to the kind of experience you want to have. Sometimes there's a fill problem.

Meaning that the corpus cavernosum, the two columns on the side of the penis, the shaft of the penis, can't fill properly. Sometimes they can fill, but they won't hold the blood. So it could be a valvular problem. Sometimes it's a stage fright issue. Yeah, nerves. I get that all the time. That's happened to me. I had a couple. I had a couple like that. You're like, just fuck me, bro. Stop being a pussy. Went to go see the urologist. Well, I used to see girls for a really long time. I said, my first dude I was with after, he just couldn't. And I was like, I don't know.

I got took it personally you're like oh my god yeah well it's a blow it's an ego blow so I went to go see my urologist friend and he was like Shree's give him this pill was it a Viagra like he'll only need two towels he was fucking hanging a wet towel off his dick by the time you got done with him it was fun oh I love it was a good time I remember those days I used to make my ex take Viagra just for fun

have you ever overdosed somebody on viagra and felt really bad no oh no what happened uh it causes vasodilation right so if they overdose then they'll flush like they'll turn really red and start sweating and stuff yeah it's just like dude sit down oh and then how long does it take to wear off i don't know i left him

I love her. She's a cold hearted woman just like me. I made sure he had what he needed. You're a woman after my own heart. I just had to get to work. I have a hernia and every time I come, it pops out and ruins the moment. We'll have it fixed or tape it down. You can wear it down. Yeah, she can. Depends how big it is, but I'm assuming it's like an abdominal hernia.

Or umbilical hernia. Yeah, so you can get into details. Yeah, you can push it in, tape it down. You can wear a waist trainer and kind of incorporate it into an outfit so that... Sorry. Sorry.

Is it because she's pushing out too hard? It's just because everything contracts. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good orgasm. If it's going to pop your hernia. I wish I could come like that. I know. Right. Nevermind the alien jumping out of my belly. Just keep going. I wouldn't care if I was a dude, I'd be like, come at least, you know, she's coming, right? You're not. Yeah. She's definitely not faking it.

Why do I always have discharge on my panties? There's no smell. It's just really annoying. It's supposed to be there when it dries up and it will, you will be sad, but there are a couple of glands, um, in the vagina. There are assists on the cervix that help make mucus. And then there are, um,

There are glands, bartholin glands at the opening of the vagina that also make mucus. And that's to help keep things moisturized. I hate to use the word moisture. Moist. I like it moist. Wetness is a thing. And if you don't have...

constant lubrication down there, then those cells can change into more squamous cells, something that would be like on the outside of your body, things that are highly keratinized. So that doesn't feel the same thing. So you feel the same way. So you want that.

Keep the discharge, especially if there's no odor. It's going to change every week of your cycle. So it's going to change from clear to opaque to really thick. I think there's something wrong with me. I can't like even if I were like a skirt with no panties, my puss is so wet all the time. And it's not like discharge just dripping out of me. No, we talked about that. You said that. No, it's still the same way. Enjoy that. It's been like this forever though. Like when does it stop? I just turned 50 and it stopped.

Oh, fuck. I got eight more years. Shit. It stopped. Oh, it's all right. When did it stop for you? I feel like a year or two ago. Okay. So like 48, 49. Yeah. Yeah. And my mom's no help. I asked my mom when she went through menopause and she said 25. I was like, get the fuck out of here, lady. Maybe she started feeling changes and things like that. She's too doped up to feel anything. Yeah.

List all the things you found in a vagina that shouldn't have been in there. Okay. I remember that one story with, yeah, the anal beads that that's, that's one of the, that's one of the traumatic things. Um,

I love to find dick hairs in there. I love it when they come in and I get to pull one out and I say, he couldn't wait. Right. One of my favorite things. You got caught. There are, first of all, how long are their pubes? Yeah. Yeah. You know how guys are. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. But they're visible. They're absolutely visible. One time,

There was a whole baby foot in a vagina. So I put the speculum in and yeah, there was a foot was in the vagina through the cervix. So she said she felt something. She was pregnant. Stuck the speculum in, opened it up. It was looking and didn't recognize, you know, the foot. And then the toes like did this little wiggle thing. And I just jerked the speculum out and said,

and then i looked up at her and i was like i'm sorry so did his foot age faster than him because it was hanging out her cervix was incompetent and she had a preterm delivery oh was the baby okay yeah yeah oh good yeah absolutely he was he came out in the world kicking and screaming literally she actually found me on labor and delivery like six to eight weeks later and she was like hey i don't know if you remember me you know

And I didn't because I was looking at her face. And she was like, I was the one, you know, you put the speculum in and said, oh, fuck. And I was like, oh, how's your baby? He's fine. I'm going in the queue to see him. That was one of those things. Oh, my God.

Sometimes, like there are these things called fistulas, so your body can create tracks from one part of your body to the other. So I've found actual shit in a vagina before. Oh my God. It's unfortunate. That is an unfortunate thing. I didn't even know that could happen. Yeah, it's crazy. I am fucking over this shit. Yeah. Yeah. So if you have a really traumatic...

vaginal delivery and you don't have a doctor that takes the time to really put those layers back together or if you've had surgery or if you've had a weird infection then your body can can take those areas of inflammation or or low pressure and create channels from one canal to another and so there's been times like I've

you know people come in and they say like you know my discharge smells horrible and yeah it's actual in there oh or urine would it be brown it would be brown discharge like straight up doo-doo god oh shit yeah um

yeah that's terrible i'm i you know if if i don't make fun of it and laugh at it i'm gonna fucking be freaked out so if it ever happens to me just call me shit puss the anal beads one was was the most involved one that one and then the lotion cap that yeah yeah yeah you told that last time yes if you guys want to hear those stories you guys gotta go back yeah and listen to those they were fucking awesome what cap of lotion

Yeah, it was like one of those gold bond squeeze lotion things and you have to flip the cap up and somebody was masturbating with that and the gold cap...

came off, flipped around and she couldn't pull it out because it was closed. So when you try to grab it and I don't even know how you would get, you'd have to like, but she, but the problem was that she lied to me about what it was. She said it was a toy that had broken. So here I am ready to sue, you know, accompany with her in there trying to pull it out. And there was a lot of suction that had built up behind it. So, so pulling it out was legitimately like two hands and,

in a foot, like with me trying to pull this thing out. Did it pop? Did it make a pop sound? When it came out, it said, pop. And I was hoping it was lotion, but it was like a week's worth of built up vagina. Oh, fuck.

In my hair, in my face. I'm just one of those like... Oh God, that's so gross. She's a better woman than me. There's no way. And first of all, I've never looked at a lotion bottle and been like... I've never looked... You're gonna get it. I've never looked at a Gold Bond lotion bottle the same again. Like every time I see it, I'm like...

I could never like listen and I'm horny as shit I look at everything as a fucking an orifice to go inside my hole and I've never been turned on by a fucking bottle like that that's crazy and then I found all kinds of you know tampons condoms things like that yeah I had somebody that was pregnant one time she came in crying bleeding you know we thought the worst and

but come to find out her boyfriend had a piercing and he had like ripped her vagina straight up the inside. - I was pregnant with Cash and my husband ripped his dick inside of me and it bled all inside of me while I was pregnant. - You got a microphone Mimi so you could tell the story? - What was in your vagina that made him tear?

I don't know. Hold on. We'll plug it in real quick. You got to hear this story. It was fucking insane. There you go. Check, check, check, check, check. Yep. So we went on vacation in Florida and I was pregnant and we were having sex. And all of a sudden, a week before, wait, pause. A week before I was on the podcast with Bunny and she told a story about ripping her

a dude's dick yeah he was uncircumcised okay let me let me yes okay so we were having sex i told you he was uncircumcised pounding it from the back really hard fucking slipped out hit the wrong hit the bone in between yeah yeah yeah and it just split his dick in half fucking blood everywhere like the skin oh i circumcised him that day yeah good for you i know i made him a man didn't we though betty never forget you oh no he's still in my dms

So a week later, I circumcised my husband. Yeah. Was he uncircumcised? Yes. And he, I don't know if we just caught the wrong traction, but he just looked at me and said, oh, fuck. And then pulled out a little bit. And I thought he started peeing on me. That's a lot of blood. And then he goes, he goes, it happened. I don't know.

I didn't know what it happened, Ben. So I was about to come up and just like sock him for peeing on me. Cause don't like, I'm not that kind of girl right now. And he just is stark white. And I looked down, I thought something had happened to me and the baby. Oh my God. And there was blood all over this hotel room and I'm talking, he panicked. So he jumped off of me, walls, floor, bed,

The bed. Oh my gosh. And then he ran to the bathroom. So it was like a trail. It was. It was like. Oh God. He almost, you know,

He bled a lot. So we had to rush him to the hospital, which was luckily only a block away. And there was nothing we could do other than bandage him. Like I literally spent my entire vacation changing dick bandages. And she didn't get any dick for like a month. Right? Yeah. It's surprising. He rallied after a month. And it completely split the whole bottom, the whole skin that holds on. What's his dick look like now? The frenulum. Just perfect? Yeah, you can't even tell. It literally just.

pretty much circumcised without taking the top part off yeah it cut that skin off completely it's crazy right that's a vagina yeah oh fucking gripper gorilla grip puss over there mimi's got that gorilla grip i'm still trying to get her and jason to send me the snapchat fucking shit they send each other i'm always in the dark about all this horny shit together

Even better. One last question. I had a partial hysterectomy at 30 and had the rest removed at 32. I'm 37 now and have libido issues. I don't have much of a sex drive and I want to know how to help with that.

So by partial hysterectomy, she means that she's had her his her uterus removed, but not the ovaries. So she had ovaries for a couple years after that. And that tends to happen most frequently with people with endometriosis at that age. Because if it was something like fibroids or heavy bleeding, you would just take out the uterus, leave the ovaries and they're fine. But endometriosis is not confined just to the uterus. So if you take out the uterus, leave the ovaries and you still have problems, then

significant enough to come back and take out those ovaries, then you're trying to starve out some sort of hormonally dependent process. So at 37, five years later, she's been without estrogen significantly. And that has to feel more like 70 rather than 37.

God, hormones are a motherfucker, man. They're essential. They just are. So for somebody like her, it's going to be chronic, all right? Once you don't have ovaries, then your cardiovascular risk starts to mimic those of a man. Mm-hmm.

in his 50s, and so she's gonna have to pay attention to other processes as well. So I would replace the estrogen and possibly the testosterone. So you would be a really good candidate for pellets, hormone pellets. You only have to have those replaced two to three times a year.

So those are really helpful. Once you find out what your dose is that keeps you happy, then you just place those pellets under the skin. How do you, yeah, I was going to say, how do you, how does it work? There's a cannula we use and we just alternate sides of the glutes. So we'll do right butt one, you know, first time left butt the other. But there's a cannula. The pellets come from a compounding pharmacy and then they send them to us or you send them to the patient.

And then we stick a cannula in and then you load the channel of the cannula with the pellets and they drop right through the channel into the tissue where you have the cannula. So we just push the cannula like into the fat,

drop the pellets in and then there's a plunger we used to pop them through yeah you take it out it's a small little incision and then you've got your hormones replaced for a good four months how bad is the adjustment for that like if somebody were to start does it like make you gain weight does it make you fucking irritable well for her she has no hormones so we're replacing so it's gonna feel good to her her body's just gonna be like so the weight gain tends to start when your hormones are dropping or when

You don't have enough. So perimenopausal weight, menopausal weight, the fat distribution is different. PCOS type weight, the distribution is different. It tends to be in the front and in the center. So balancing those hormones has a lot to do with how you metabolize things and how you store your fat. But somebody at 37 that's really young, she's going to miss out on like that wonderful sex drive that you're having if she doesn't replace it.

Yeah. Right. So she deserves it. You go get some testosterone, you get some estrogen and titrate it up until you feel good. Yeah.

And then once you feel good, the compounding pharmacist can take whatever, however you're dosed, whether it's by pill or by patch. So they can, we can look at what doses you're on and send that to a compounding pharmacist that can make the conversion into a pellet. And then they'll send again, the pellets either to us or to the patient and you can just place them and feel so much better. Dr. Poe does a lot of those. Dr. Felix is just out here doing the Lord's work. Ain't nothing.

I feel like you're like a pussy prophet.

I'll take that. For real. Like you are the prophet of the pussies. Like you fucking are just out here making bitches feel better about themselves. I try. Helping get their mental health back. Cause you, when you don't feel good about yourself, your mental health is in, you know, shambles. Yeah. You're helping people get their sex drives back. That's bringing joy to their lives. You know, like you're really just out here doing the bug puzzle. So it's, it's nice having that combination or that mix of,

in one place so that, you know, if I have people call all the time, they'll call and they'll say, well, I want to know shot. But the next question is, why do you think you need to owe shot? And that's, that's important because you don't want to go spending money on something that you don't need. Most doctors wouldn't even ask that. They'd be like, cool, we'll take your money. Yeah. I know my receptionist gets real frustrated. She's like,

When can you see them? When can you talk to them? They call for an O-shot. And I'm like, but Beth, maybe they don't need an O-shot. But that's so good because most doctors don't have a heart like that, you know? So that's really cool. I feel like I used my vagina enough to know how important that is. That gave me power.

Yeah, no, for sure. Like, it gave me joy. Pussy is power. That's what I've, that's what my whole fucking brand is about, dude. Like, literally, like, pussy is power. And I'm here to take care of it for you. Holler. Well, if you want a pretty puss, you gotta head down to the service station. Pretty and functional. Pretty and functional, yes. We don't want it just aesthetically pretty. We want it internal. We want that bitch to purr like a kitten. Like a kitten, F-kitty.

Tell people where they can find you online and all that jazz. All right. So the website is ShariceFelixMD.com. We have an Instagram, the service station by Felix. We have a Facebook service station by Felix. So that's, that's it. I hate to tell people to use the phone because I,

legitimately like we have phone problems it feels like all the time yeah so I just rather people just reach out and they know how to do emails and shit like that yeah make it easier yeah we're getting a new service but the phones are always like the bane of my existence I can't stand those things I hate talking on the phone too I'd rather text people will call me and you just have to text me like talk you know I'll only call Mimi and that's if I'm like really excited about something

Well, I called her. I was like, uh, where am I? Yeah. She'll wake up to a text thread like this of me having this wild ideas through the night or something to do. So that's me too. Doc, thank you so much for coming back on the podcast. We're not going to wait two years to get you back on though. I think we need to have you come back just regularly every six months, but also you guys are going to come with me to the service station and watch me get my gobbler fixed. And I'm going to start getting a whole bunch of shit done to my face. So

I don't care in the comments. You guys can say don't do it, but I'm going to do it. Well, most of the things that we do are regenerative rather than like masking. Right. We're going to help your skin be healthier than it ever has. My skin has consistently gotten better recently.

over the past few years since I started paying attention to PCA skin and my estheticians. Yeah. It's just amazing. Yeah. What can happen when, you know, when you're empowered with education so you can make your choices and figure out like how, how do I, how far do I want to take this? Do I want to handle it at home myself? Do I want something moderate? Do I want something, you know, I'm ready. I do all the skincare at home, but,

I think just because I'm Brazilian, I naturally have like dark pigment just everywhere and it's driving me fucking crazy. So I'm ready to come in and let the big dogs do some work. Yes, we got you. Thank you so much, you guys, for tuning in to another episode of Dumb Blonde. I will see you guys next week. Bye.