Ask, Tell, Confess: Stripping to Jelly Songs
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Hey guys, I need to ask you a question. I want to know why in the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the Bunny XO show. We have Meet the D-Fords. We have propaganda. We have more shows that we're adding. And not to mention, we have the visuals of the podcast. Head over to www.patreon.com backslash dumb blonde podcast and sign up.

Hello friends, welcome to another Ask, Tell, Confess.

I'm not going to do what I did last week. I was going to count. I was going to count. No, we can't count. I annoyed myself when I listened to it back. I thought it was pretty great. I was like, I hate her. And it was me that I said I hate her. I thought it was pretty great. No, I didn't love it. I feel like you need to set a record each time. Yeah. Yeah. Just longer and longer each time. Like a Guinness World Book of Records. Yeah.

The last as asked how confess is just going to be a whistle for 10 minutes, 15 minutes of whistling Dixie. That's hilarious. Hi guys. How are you? We miss you. We love you. I feel like last week, dude, I listened back to last week's ask how confess and I literally laughed my fucking wiener off. It was so funny. Did you?

Uh, was I here? Yeah, you were confessing your love to the Suicide Boys. Oh yes, that one. That was great. How could I forget? Memory of a fucking sheep. Memory of a sheep? Yeah. What does that mean? I don't know. I just made it up. I feel like they don't have good memories. They just look like they wouldn't. That is hilarious. I was like, wait, what? No. Alright. Oh my goodness. Alright, so...

We've got some questions. We've got some asks. We've got a few. We've got a lot. We've got a little smorgasbord. We've got a little smorgasbord over here. We've got a confession from Kansi. She said, I haven't gotten laid in four years and it's driving me bonkers. Oh, did I mention I'm married? This man acts like he's got one toe in the grave and can't share some wife smashing anymore. We've been together 17 years and this is ridiculous. Help. Any advice?

And this would be cool. I feel like he's pushed himself away from me and me away from him. Either way, what the fuck? Four years? That's a... That would have been done at the full months. Yeah. I understand, like, if you're in a relationship and you guys are so busy. There are some times where Jay and I have a little dry spell. For four years? No. I would never do that. But...

You know, we've gone, you know, a couple months without having to... He's literally on the road. That's different, though. Yeah, like... And then, like, we had two days off just now. Like, literally, we were at home. And I was like, okay, I'm getting some wiener. Like, I'm going to wake up and just ride the pony baloney. I was so tired. I was just like, fuck, I don't even care. Like, you just get to a point where you're so tired. But I think also...

Jay and I have been together going on nine years. You guys have been together 17 years. That's a long, that's double. That's a long time. We've been together. And I think you guys have to kind of, I think in relationships, it's so important to reignite that spark. Yeah. Because it's not easy. You have to keep dating each other. Maybe go on a date. Yeah. Go on a date, go have a date night and just like enjoy each other. I know like,

One thing that's really big about Jay and I's relationship is it's not about sex. It's about us being best friends first. And maybe he's not feeling like you guys are close. And maybe he's not feeling like you guys are best friends right now. Or maybe he's gay.

Okay. Well, I wasn't going to go that far. He could be. Or maybe he's got a mistress. Go through his phone. I don't know. Maybe he's cheating. That's the toxicity in us, though. Yeah. So, I mean, we want to think positively first. Maybe his testosterone is low. You know? Sit down with him. Yeah. Ask what's wrong. Yeah. Sit down with him and be like, hey, baby, what's going on? What do I got to do to get some schlong? Yeah. What's wrong? What do I got to do to get some schlong? Communicate with Zik.

communicate for the dong baby yeah but you know maybe he'll open up to you and if he doesn't open up to you then go through his phone and figure if he doesn't open up i think that's your answer yeah maybe we don't know how their relationship is i don't want to give toxic advice you know but there's so many you know sometimes except especially when men get older their their testosterone drops i feel like women get hornier and men don't like men are just like

I don't know. It kind of falls off. I feel bad for her. I know. I feel bad, baby. But listen, in the meantime, there's toys everywhere. Yeah, get you a rose. Go get you... I don't like the rose. The rose... There's a rose with a little finger. I don't like how you have to cup it. And like, there's no like... I like to hold a... It's very comfortable. I like to hold a flange. It's true.

What is a phalange? I don't know. Google phalange. I hope I said it right. Give it a goog. Yeah, give it a goog real quick. A phalange. How do you even spell phalange?

Falange. F-A-L-A-N-G-E. Falange. I like a phallus. Is it a phallus or a phalange? May also refer to the bones and the fingers and toes. A phalange. I like to have something that's got some growth on it. Like phalange. Phalange. Okay, so then it's a phallus, right? That I like to hold. I don't know. I don't know. I make it up shit. Just say wand. I like something that has a handle. Massager. I like something that I can get a grip of it on.

it on my grandma has one of those giant like massage oh massagers and I'm like what's that she's like oh it's just a massage my back I was like all right candy so I hope we start a traffic cone I hope we we listened to your confession and I hope we answered your question at the end but um all right we're

All right, we're going to move along before we get into any more fucking toy conversations. Have you guys considered taking a girl's trip to Salem, Massachusetts near Halloween? We can go ghost hunting and witch hunting. Love y'all. Care. Have we? Have we? We have tried. We chose the Suicide Boys over Salem this year. That's how much, you know, we wanted to see Scrim and Ruby is that we were 30 minutes from Salem. Yep.

And instead not think about it. And I even gave Haley an out. I was like, hey, Haley, do you want to go see the boys or do you want to go to Salem? And we can go have a spooky night. She's like, bitch, we are going to the boys. Salem will be there. Boys are moving around. It was the perfect opportunity. Yeah, I had to. I had the best time ever. We did that. But I do want to go to Salem. Yeah, we definitely want to go to Salem. We just haven't had time.

We're on this tour until right before Thanksgiving. And then after that, we have more shows. We are not going to have any time off until Christmas. 2027. And then New Year's Eve. I don't know if you guys heard Daddy's announcement. We're opening a new bar on Christmas.

Broadway called Goodnight Nashville. When you buy from my merch online, just know you're buying from Shopify. They've been there for me ever since I started my merch company and that was a while ago. So we are like family at this point. All the tools Shopify has to offer helped me amplify my business to a whole new level. Without them, I wouldn't be where I am today. Nobody does selling better than Shopify, home of the number one checkout on the planet and

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slash bunny, B-U-N-N-I-E, all lowercase. Go to shopify.com slash bunny to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com slash bunny. This episode is brought to you by Huggies Little Movers. Huggies knows that babies come in all shapes and sizes.

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But like, how cute is that name? Good night, Nashville. I love that. And that's like perfect. Oh, it's so good when you're drunk. Yeah, it's so good. Good night. Yeah. Good night. See you later. Toodaloo. I love it. Who do you really want to meet that you haven't gotten a chance to meet yet? The Weeknd. Yeah, that would be cool. I think that's the first thing me and Jay bonded on was our love for The Weeknd. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. I also want to meet Joyce Meyers.

Before she croaks. Because she's like 90 something. We're putting it into the air right now. I have been putting it in the air for years. Yeah, yours has been circulating. I've DM'd Joyce. I have stalked Joyce Myers. Okay. Maybe that's, does she know, has she opened them? I don't know. You know, she's so old. I don't think she even runs her social media. Dang. I think if her and I sat down, we would have a great conversation.

Because I love Jesus. I still don't really know her. I get her confused with the mom from Stranger Things. No. Two totally different humans. One's Wynonna Ryder. One's Joyce Myers. Yeah, but her name is Joyce Byers. That's where I always get confused. Listen, this girl didn't even know who Stevie Nicks was until she got in our crew. I know who she is now. Yeah, she does know. I knew of her, but I didn't know if she was...

The band she's in. She knows who mother is. I do know. She knows who mother is. Love her. Mother. She's a mother. Yeah. All right. Seaweed said, my grandpa got married a month after my grandma passed away. Am I crazy for being so angry and disowning him?

I would have been mad too, dude. That's so insensitive. And that just shows that he obviously was already having a relationship before she passed away. You don't just, I mean. That or maybe he was just so lonely. He needed someone else. How old was he? How old was he? I know. How old? There's a lot of things that, you know, can surround it. But I mean, he could have waited a year. Yeah.

You know, like, hey, I'm not going to get married. A month? A month. That's crazy. God. Was grandma, like, sick for a really long time so that maybe he started something? I need to know the circumstances. Yeah, there's so many. We need details of this question. Give us more. To give a better answer. But yes, my first initial...

question or my first initial reaction to that is I would be so hurt. I would be like bro that's fucking grandma. Yeah. Yeah. Or you never know maybe grandma on her deathbed gave him the blessing.

Maybe she said he'd take my sister. Take my friend. Son of a bitch. I don't know. Not auntie Gladys. Maybe she hooked him up. I don't know. Auntie Gladys? Could be. Auntie Bertha. No. Lord. Gertrude. Lord. All right, hold on. Now at T-Mobile, get four 5G phones on us in four lines for $25 a line per month when you switch with eligible trade-ins. All on America's largest 5G network.

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All right, so we're going to move on to the next question. Bunny, what were your top three songs, if you can narrow it down, favorite songs to strip to? Oh. Didn't know that's where I was going. Okay, so my first one was Crazy by Aerosmith. Love that. Oh, look, Jaime's like this. What song is that? Wait, sing it. You don't know? Sing it. Sing it for me. See you leaving on the 730 train and that you're heading out to Hollywood. Ah.

Girl, many times it kind of gets like feeling bad. Looks good. I can't do it justice. It's Aerosmith, bro. Hold on. I'll play it for you. Liv Tyler and Alicia Silverstone. Two stone cold foxes. You've never seen the video? No.

I knew that it made me tingle in places I shouldn't have. And it was great. Hold on. And then my other one was Nivea, Okay. Do you remember that song? All my girls, get your hair done, and your nails fixed. And I say, okay, okay. You don't know that? I'm going to have to listen to that one too. It's so good. I think you're going to have to play them all. I'll play them all. So here's Aerosmith. A slow song?

So you can slither down the pole? What do you mean? More than we're making love. Seems you got something on your mind other than me. Girl. Here we go. Say you're leaving on the 730 train that you're heading out to. I can see you slowly going away. Oh, just slithering. Girl, you've been giving me a lot of money. You can't twerk to this. Okay. Yeah.

You can't twerk that. Back when I was dancing, twerking wasn't a thing. People actually really had to dance. And I love twerking. Watching a girl shake her ass is my favorite thing. It is a talent. I can't do it. It is great. But I was like the OG dancers where we actually dressed up and wore gowns. Gowns? Oh, yeah. It was a thing. Strippers back in the day used to look like

like pageant girls. Like it was like straight up like playboy models and like stuff like that. Yeah. Huh? Yeah. Do you take the gown off on stage? You do. And that's what was so sexy about it. I like that. At Olympic gardens, we were, we had to wear gowns at first. We don't do that anymore. Hey, here's Nivea. I can't believe you don't know. It's with little John Nivea. Little John. Little fricking John. Yeah.

Yeah, I see it. I see it. It's so fun. It's like cute. I can see the, yeah. Yeah. Little beat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

so that was it was that one and then there was one more fuck i can't even think oh sarah mclaughlin possession so good run it by me how do you not know these songs this show is the one that sings the commercials when the dog okay she didn't used to freaking sing just that okay that's who she's known for but that's what she's known for now but i can see you going around the pole and

This is one of her best songs. Here we go. Listen, it was a big to-do when I got on stage because I never went on stage. So if I went on stage, it was like somebody was paying me. If I was there, I would lie. Memories trapped in time.

Does it get faster at all? Okay. Your words keep me in. And I would be to hold you down. That is sexy, bitch. Listen, I made a lot of fucking money, so I was doing something right. It makes me want to adopt a dog.

Listen, I made a shit ton of money. I was doing something right. Okay. What would your three, what would your top song be now? Fuck now. Yeah. Glover. Look, credit karma is your evolved financial assistant, making managing your finances simpler and more tailored to you. Join us at credit karma.com to start your personalized financial journey today and continue to grow with our innovations. Credit karma, evolve your finances. Okay. It's time to commit. 12,

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No, I'm not hyphy like that. I like to be sexy. I don't want to jolt my body around. I like to prance, be cute, you know, be girly. I don't like to... If you were to strip to a Jelly Roll song, which song would it be? Oh, for the love of God. Like the fucking Weenie Boy did? Yep. I can't. Which one? Which one would you do it to? Off the new album? Yes. Okay, okay.

Of the new album, it would be... It would either be the new song that he has with Russ. Really Gone. I would do this one. Really Gone. Because this is like OG Jelly Roll. Okay. I don't think I've listened to this one. Oh. Daddy Goes Off on it, right? What? Oh. He raps a little bit. What? Yeah. Okay. Okay. I can hear this one as the... Wait. Wait till the beat drops. Around the pole. Here we go.

Ladies, get ready. This is your new song to dance to on stage. This is the pull. Okay, yeah. Yep. Good.

Oh, yeah. Clap them cheeks, girl. So that one would probably be number one. Yeah, that's a good one. I hope he sees this. I know. We'll clip it. We have to clip this. And then my next choice would probably either be...

Because that's a song that he wrote about. That's the Sarah McLachlan of this album. Who dances to nothing but fast music? You gotta be sexy. Oh, I guess I'm at the wrong club. Yeah, you're going to the... Which clubs are you at? The Ratchet ones. Those are my favorite. Or maybe Devil Down. Could you see me getting up there in some boots to this? Here we go, here we go. He'd be like...

Oh, yeah. Yeah. The poles are here. He's just doing that one quad hopper move that I do. Here we go. Oh, that's good. All right. Go buy Jelly Rolls a new album. Got Polish stripper songs for you guys. All right. That was a great Ask Talking Fest. Love you guys. I'll see you next week. Bye. Bye.