S2 EP14. Girls Gone Bible and Ashley Hetherington
01:19:22 Share

Hi guys, my name is Ali welcome to Christ with coffee on ice and I came Welcome to another episode of Christ with coffee on ice cream. That'd be great. Ice cream. Wait, I love this that you guys are gonna be interviewed where you guys are. Yeah Well not interviewed but like, you know, y'all are in the hot seat. This is just giving we're just besties talking about Jesus. I love it. Everyone say Jesus saves.

Hello everybody, welcome to another episode of Christ with Coffee on Ice. I am your host, Allie Yost, and if you are physically watching, you can tell we are in a very different environment. We are not sitting on my orange couch in my house. We are sitting in Los Angeles, California, and we are sitting with Girls Gone Viable.

Ari and Ang here, and also Bestie, Ashley Hetherington, who you guys are very familiar with. She's already been on the podcast. But I am so excited, guys.

I'm so happy to be here. This is incredible because the way, okay, I have to admit, there have been a couple times where I've been on TikTok and y'all obviously come up on my comment section all the time where they're like, you need to get together with Girls Gone Bible. I mean, obviously we're together all the time so that people see that, but they're like, this needs to happen. And I've been biting my tongue because obviously we knew that this was going to happen. And so the last couple of times that I've been live, I've just been like, okay,

You know? And then they freak, they're in all caps, y'all. They're freaking out. They're like, wait, that's confirmation. Like, this is like, this is exciting. That is actually so cute. I'm so excited that you guys are here right now. So thank you so much. Thank you for just like, I don't know. I'm just so stoked. Thank you. This is awesome. The girls are geeking. Praise the Lord. No, they're freaking out. I can feel it. Like, we're freaking out right now. I love you guys.

- I love you guys. - Praise the Lord. We're so grateful. But yeah, I just love y'all so much. I just wanna talk about Jesus together. And also like, I know that, I mean, this friendship's still really new. Like we've really only been connected for a couple months. - Yeah. - So I think this is a great opportunity to obviously like get to know y'all more. And I wanna hear more about like how you guys found the Lord. Also like,

I want to hear about how Girls Gone Bible started, right? If you guys aren't familiar with Girls Gone Bible, I don't know how that's possible. Their podcast is absolutely blowing up. Y'all haven't even been doing it for a year, right? Like what, like eight months? Since May. May 16th was our first episode, so it's like eight months.

That's amazing. So, yeah, I just want to hear all of it. Like, just so the listeners who maybe don't know you guys can get to know you more and just, like, who you are, where you've come from. What is Girls Gone Bible? Please and thank you. Love you. I love you so much. First, I just want to say, God, I love these girls so much. Ashley, Ali, we are so, I mean, we told our whole little meeting story on, because they were also on our podcast.

Yes.

You guys know Jesus. You know him. You can tell when somebody knows Jesus. You can tell when somebody's been with Jesus, like it says in scripture. So we just love you guys so much. You guys really come from the heart. It's beautiful. I love this table.

So much. I'm telling you, when we first met, when I first met you guys at Passion, I literally, there were so many people there. And I was like, no, them. I want to be. I had never met you guys. You ran right up to me. Wait, talk about the vision that you had about the vest. Which is so funny because I was with you. I'm crying. I love you. I'm crying. Yeah, she was. Stop. Ari goes, Ari. Can we get a one, two, three, two, three? It's just God. He is so good.

He's at this table. We're going to have a great time together. All of us. Yeah. I love him so much. I, so the morning of passion, it was so funny because I felt like I had been, you know, you guys, you can ask God for anything, visions, dreams, words from him. And, and he,

He might give them to you, he might not. I ask for dreams and visions all the time. I beg him for dreams and he just, that's just not really my thing. That's not really something that he's given me as of now. But I had been asking him for visions for a while, being like, God, just let me see things before they happen. And so I have confirmation that it was from you and that like you're speaking to me in that way.

And this is gonna sound so small, so minuscule, and so random. But that's like how he works though. It is. So that morning of passion, I was seeing, I had seen multiple things in the morning that I then later had the exact conversation with people that I saw in the morning as I was getting ready. There clearly is a reason why God wanted to meet me that day that weekend. Maybe it's because I was so, I mean, my intention was literally just on Jesus. I was at a conference and

And that morning, I knew that you were at Passion because I saw that you were there on social media. I had never, I didn't see what you were wearing that day or anything. But I knew that Ali has this same jean vest from Aritzia as me. Vest, yeah.

Yeah, it's just a jean vest. Everyone wears it. It's so cute. Yeah, but I had seen you wear it one time on social media and I was wearing it that day and I literally was putting on makeup being like, I'm going to see Ally. I had a vision of us seeing each other and she would be wearing that vest and I would be wearing mine and we would be like, this is so crazy that we're both wearing the vest. And you probably were like, wouldn't

wouldn't that be funny god yeah yeah i mean it wasn't even like it's not like god's giving me this prophetic word for my life or anything he's like she's gonna wear it yeah i don't know when i was at passion and i saw my girl wearing that vest and she came into the suite that i was in i literally go

I don't know what it means, but I just ate all. It didn't even mean need to mean anything. All it meant was that God was speaking to me, regardless of how big or small or insignificant it might have been. And I immediately ran up to her and I was like, this is going to sound so weird. I'm not claiming to be a prophet, but I knew you were going to wear this. 100%. I feel like not a lot of words were really even said in that moment. We just went.

And then they hugged each other. It was just like, it was just like we both were feeling like, like that was so highly anticipated. Like us running into each other like that. And we like already kind of talked about this on y'all's episode that we just filmed. But there was like so much doubt in that too, which I think is so real in just like the world of women. Like there's just like this weird, and I think that that's how the enemy really loves to attack us specifically, like women in our community is like that weird kind of like,

catty, defensive, like competitive. Like I don't, like we don't even mean to do it, but I feel like it's just like you just have these seeds of doubt. Like that person's going to be like not going to like you. Or there's like that weird competitive, not that I had any of that in my heart. But you have that doubt like when it comes to other women. And it almost like...

Like, for a little bit it was working where we really didn't say anything to each other because we were literally sitting with the same exact thought. Yeah. At the same time, you know, like, well, I don't know. I don't really want to. She looks like she's great and doesn't need to know me. Like, I don't know. Just.

things and so I'm just so grateful that we just you you did though you were like I'm breaking this off in the name of Jesus I'm going up to her and hugging her and like praise the Lord for that obedience because yeah you really did you did you said I'm done like I'm going up to her I loved your boldness it was bold it's just because it's so real it's so real that especially as women you can be so scared to just so scared of other girls yeah and like me and Ari are very much like we will

truly go up to anyone ever and because we know but we know that we know that there's got to be one person in the equation that will go step out in faith and be like there has to be this friend might not want to be my friend but I'm gonna try anyways but there was something weird that like I wanted to talk to you you wanted to talk to me but both of it and I'm not even like that I'll go up to the mailman to talk to him and so it was weird and so that's why when you guys were in the suite I was like no I'm

I don't even feel comfortable. And you guys were in a group of girls anyways, and that was intimidating in and of itself because it's just like, what if they don't want to talk to me right now? I don't know. So silly. So I just went up and I was like. So enemy coded. Just him being a freaking jerk. Loser. Weenie. I was going to say weenie, and then I said jerk. The listeners know. He's a freaking weenie. She says weenie. And I'm starting. The Lord is. Yeah. The Lord is the best, but the enemy is a weenie. He's a freaking weenie. He's a weirdo.

but I'm so glad he's here though but he wants division y'all he wants division and so like those little seeds that he was trying to do was giving division and so like with two this unity is just so powerful to have that yeah that you know and just to have this peace and unity and not only that but like friendship and she's so sweet like God is unifying yeah the body yeah

So cool. And nothing can stop him, by the way. So that's how we're all sitting here right now. Yeah. Jesus, that he's stronger than any seed of doubt that the enemy could plant in our heads or or anywhere. Absolutely. And also just like always assume. I think something that we try to live by for sure is that we're like always just assume the best of people until they give you a reason not to. Like people are truly innocent until proven guilty in our mind. And that's not to say that that.

It's not to say that we're naive because we're not. We have very strong discernment. We ask for discernment all the time. But at the same time, it's just like I'm not going to live in fear my whole life thinking that people aren't going to like me. Especially because it hasn't happened. Exactly. It hasn't happened. The rejection didn't happen. She didn't actually tell me she didn't want to be my friend. So why are you living in a reality that

doesn't exist. No. Just assume the best. Assume that people assume everybody likes you. Like yeah. You know what I mean. Right. A lot of people are hurting. Yeah. A lot of people won't approach you because they're going through something. Because they're yeah they're going through stuff too. Yeah. So you going up to that person could be a blessing to them.

And it most likely is. And it's like, it's kind of like what we were saying, you know, in y'all's episode, Ashley, you had said when you commit to something and you have that feeling to not do it, like you're really robbing yourself of that moment that the Lord was going to bless, you know, like he needs you there. And I feel like even when it comes to things like that, too, where it's like you want to

to have these friendships or maybe you want to approach a person or you want to like, you know, whatever that you feel planted on your heart. But if you reject it, you're robbing not only yourself, but like you just said, Ari, like you could be robbing that person from a serious blessing that day that maybe they needed somebody to see them for the first time and approach them because no one ever has. You know, that's that's one of the great things about going through the hard times is you are so desperate and hungry for people and community. And I just remember going through those dark times.

And you know the feelings. You have so much empathy and compassion for that. Yeah, and you can get so complacent in your own friendships. But when you go through those hard times, like when I had met her, I was so vulnerable. I just bled everything out to her right away. And that's what made us so close. It's that vulnerability when you're in the hard times. Yeah, I love that. I want to hear their friendship story. I'm not the host here, but I want to hear it. That's a perfect transition. I want to hear about that. Tell me about the beginning of y'all's relationship and all of it, please. Yeah, yeah.

Ugh.

I love the way that y'all just look at each other with so much love. Like, are you joking? I love you guys. I love her so much. It was November 9th on my birthday, and I was in some deep, deep pain. And we were at a modeling job, and I had went into the corner of the room because we were getting our makeup done, and I couldn't get through it. They had to redo it a couple times, and so I went in the corner, and I was just... What does that mean? Were you crying?

Yeah, I was like, I was just, I was so broken at this time. It was my birthday. It was the first year that I had, was without the partner that I was with. And I was in a really, really dark time. And so I was in the corner and I was really ashamed and I was really embarrassed and I was just like,

like crying in my hands and I'm just like, please, please God help me right now. Like I am, I'm so sad. How am I going to get through this day? And as I'm crying and I'm praying, I feel somebody's hand take mine and I looked over and it was Angela and she was holding my hand. And you'd never met her before? I'd never met her. This is wild.

And she looked at me and she said, she said these words that I always had said since I was a kid that is so comforting. And it was, I don't know who you are, but we're gonna get through it together.

And she sat with me and she hugged me and she didn't judge me. And she just sat there with me for about 30 minutes. And I had to double take her because I truly, a couple months prior to that, I was in isolation season. Yeah. I had my friends, but they thought I had lost my mind basically because I had this moment of finding God. Wow.

I was so desperate for a godly Christian friend because no one was understanding this revelation that I had. And so I wasn't really connecting with anyone in the church. And the one prayer that I kept saying was, God, please bring me a godly friend, but someone who's been through some stuff like me, someone I can relate to, someone who just understands this pain and what I had been going through with my family and the breakup and everything. And so...

When I met her, you couldn't have brought me, if I ever doubt God, I look at her and I'm just like, he provided for me at the exact time that I needed. And not only that, but when I had found God, I still hadn't read the Bible. And so I was still very much broken. And I'll never forget driving with her in the car and I was just like so dead inside. And I looked at her and I said, Ann,

Angela, I don't know if I can do this. Should I get on some medication? And she looked at me and she said, give me a month. I'll introduce you to the Bible. Wow. She is truly my angel in human form. She never judged me. She sat there every single day with compassion and

Every morning, she slept over every single day. She was right there with me. She spoon-fed me the Bible, and that's what changed my life. The Word of God. And she just, every single morning, and I was confused. I didn't know anything about the Bible. I had never even opened it. And every single morning, she just, word by word, explained everything to me and was so gracious and so kind. And she stuck by me through every little thing with compassion and love.

Yeah, you're the biggest blessing. I'm so proud of you because you truly walked just as Jesus would have. Like, everything that you're saying, Ari, is just like, that is exactly how Jesus would have looked at Ari in that moment. So, like, truly praise God for just, dude, you are so obedient to the Lord. It's so admirable the way that you just, like,

We're like, you know what? We're getting through this together. That is what Jesus would do. And that's literally what he calls us to do for one another. You know what made me love her so much is that there are many things that people would have been like, I can't handle this. Yeah. And I would say things to her and she'd be like,

No, that's why the Lord was like, this is going to work. And that's why I just knew I was like, this is my girl. And she had just known me for two weeks and I'm just fleeting. And she just was like, all right, here we go. Let's buckle up together. We did everything together. Every single thing. Well, the most beautiful part of all that, I love you so much. Thank you for the kind words. And it was great.

It has been the joy of my life to do that with you. And by the way, I was also spoon-fed the Bible. So if I could ask, if I could pray for every person on the planet is that they have somebody to spoon-feed them the Bible. Because it changes your life to like truly be discipled by somebody and have somebody walking hand in hand with you in your journey with Jesus. But when Ari and I met, like...

I literally loved the girl. I can't tell you. She was in her mind in like the worst time of her life. She was instantly my favorite person in the world. We laughed like it was nobody's business. And that's something that she and I have always shared is like,

We go through pain. We're so close to Jesus. We walk hand in hand with Jesus, but we are not exempt from pain. We're not exempt from going through hard situations, but we have joy and we hold on to that joy for dear life. So when we first met, I was like, I love this girl. Like she's so funny. She's so sweet. She's so vulnerable because everything,

Like, sure, you can say all day, like, I helped her, but, like, Ari helped herself. Do you know what it is? I'm sure you guys know. If you're a believer and, like, you really follow Jesus, all you want to do is introduce people to Jesus. So when you have somebody who is actually so willing. Like they want to know. Oh, we're running. Do you understand what I've seen in this girl's life? It's been the most encouraging thing for me to see within myself.

her whole life changed. I had already been walking Jesus for like three, two, three years reading the Bible. And she, there were things that I was holding onto being like, no, I love Jesus, but I'm not going to give this up and I'm going to hang on to this. And literally within- It was convicting for you. Are you, do you understand that most of my transformation came because this girl is sitting there being like a month and being like, yeah, I'm not going to do this anymore. And I'm like-

whoa, I've been here for a month. Well, here we go. Yeah, I'm not going to do it either, I guess. That's a word. Wow. See, and he knew the way that you guys would, like, help each other. It wasn't just, like, Ange spoon-feeding Ari. It was, like, Ari also low-key ministering to you two.

And saying, God, I just want you, nothing else. And how that, you know, ministered to people around you. We really held each other accountable. And that's why it's so important to have a good godly friend. Because you really hold each other accountable. But that you trust to tell everything to. And that means even the dirtiest, nastiest, like, dark thoughts and things. Like,

there's not a single thing that we keep from each other. And we've, from the very beginning, we're both like from the East Coast, we're both straight shooters. - Yeah, girly. - You know, we don't really like, we don't play those games. Like, I'm gonna say what I'm thinking. - Where are you from again? - So I grew up, I lived in New York when I was a kid and then I grew up in Connecticut and then I went to high school in Florida. - Right, right. - But my family is also Albanian, so we're Eastern Europeans, so nobody lies. Like it's very much like you tell the truth. - It is, yeah. - If I don't like what you're doing, I have literally no problem telling you and I don't care if you get mad.

You know what I mean? Like, I love you so much that I'm not going to let you keep doing that. Like, beat around the bush. Yeah. Like, there's not in a mean way. No, no. Not in a mean way. Not saying that it came off that way, but it's like, I feel like sometimes people get that twisted where they're like, nah, I'm going to tell you that you are this. And it's like, okay. With love, though. Yeah.

You know, like let's not take it too far. That's why you, that's why, what do you guys think about this? I think it's important to have friends of all walks of life. Absolutely. But then there's also something about having a friend who's had a similar life experience to you that you can actually understand each other because the reason why we're so open is because there's no way she can judge me because she's been in the same position. Like I know you're,

dirty laundry, like you don't mind. And it's like the same. No judgment, just, just refinement and encouragement and edification of being like, no, this, you're better than this. I'm better than this. Yeah. We love Jesus and we don't want to hurt him. Yeah. So after we became friends, we spent, so I was going through a breakup at the time as well. So at the time we were, it was just so common denominator. It's like, we're both brokenhearted. Great. Let's

go through this together. And I literally, I stayed at her house every single day for a month. We watched the show. So before she even started reading the Bible, we watched the chosen together and like she started to understand who Jesus was through the chosen. And I was, and we were just every single night chosen, go to sleep. Then we wake up and we read the Bible. I feel like the beginning of your story is so like mine too. Cause like literally the chosen did the same thing for me. Cause I was so new to the Bible that watching the chosen, I was like,

Like, wait, that's Matthew 17, 21. Didn't it help you though? It did. I'm so glad you just said that. I forgot about that because that made me want to read the Bible, especially when I watched Mary Magdalene. I was like, open the Bible now. I want to get it. Now I want to really read it. So yeah, it helps you because I'm a visual person. I think one of the reasons why we got along so well too, Ari was not familiar with like

Big prayers. Like, I can be a little bit, like, almost charismatic in my approach. Like, I'm just very much, like, spirit-driven. Oh, I love your prayers, bro. They are. Thank you. She follows the spirit. They are. Yeah. You just let the Lord take it. No, but they're, like, they're, like, I don't know how to explain it. It's a fire. It's, like, every weapon you could think of in the world. She hits bombs. It's all of it. No, she hits all fronts. The way you pray is, like, supernatural. No, for real. It is so powerful. So, so.

you as well both of them literally dropped a bomb this morning I said in the name of Jesus not today okay I interrupted you no no no no I I we had a moment in the car so very early on Ari was just so receptive to like being spirit led being touched by the Holy Spirit she was hungry for it I'd be like one of the first times we hung out I was like do you mind if I put my hands on your head and pray for you and I'm like I'm doing like I was desperate

I was like, and push your hands on my head, girl. And I'm like, I am praying my heart out with this girl. And she's just so receptive and she's just here with open arms. And that's why God moved in her life the way that she was willing. She was so humble, so willing, so obedient. And we had a moment where this is the best thing of my life. I'll never forget this. It was like a moment of true surrender that I saw in Ari was like,

we would always do this thing and we still do it where one of us will be in the shower, the other one sits on the ground so that we can still talk. And so... We don't leave each other. Yeah. I'm obsessed. She was in the shower, right? And she's like sitting in the shower and she's like, she's struggling and we're kind of like going through similar stuff and I'm sitting outside and she's like,

She's just, it's just total surrender. She goes, Ange, I'm like, what's up? She goes, do you think that Jesus will heal me the way he healed Mary Magdalene? Because we had just watched The Chosen. She found, you know, she discovered Mary Magdalene. And I was like, I was like, just ask him. And she goes out loud for the first time I hear really pray. She goes, Jesus, I welcome you to heal me the way you did Mary Magdalene. And I'll never forget it. And he did. He

He did. He literally started to heal my friend the same way he healed me. I struggled with my mental health when I found Jesus really badly. I was not okay. I struggled with alcoholism, with panic attacks, with intrusive thoughts, with so many things. And he started to heal me from the inside out.

out. He delivered me from alcoholism. I didn't go to AA. I didn't have a sponsor, nothing. My guy delivered me. I healed from panic attacks. I'd never been to a day of therapy. I just prayed. I realized who Jesus was, what he did, why he died, and I realized that I have authority through Jesus to trample over serpents and scorpions and however that verse goes, and literally, and then I watched her do the same thing that I did, and it was just...

It's so rewarding to just be a part of it. Oh, are you kidding me? I get to just watch God do this through a person that I love so much. Yeah. No, I was just like watching on the chosen Mary Magdalene. I'll never forget it because I was so new to all this. Yeah. And I'm watching her mind be tortured. Yeah. By just evil spirits. And I just remember her hands on her head and she's just, she's being tortured. She can't, couldn't get out of it. And I've never related to someone.

Someone so much. I was tortured. Yeah, I never thought I was gonna see the light at the end of the tunnel I never thought I was gonna get better. I thought from what I had watched growing up This is only gonna get worse and I was scared. Sorry. I was scared. Yeah and

When I saw Jesus look at her in that moment and say, you are mine, and he took her in his arms and he held her, and she was healed. I had such a moment of being like, he's going to do that with me too, right? Stop it right now. He loves you just as much. Because I just...

One of the prayers that I always said was, and I always say this on the podcast, it's okay to take medicine. God made it because sometimes people need it. I was someone who wanted to heal in a different way. I knew that I could. I just knew I needed to heal in a different way. I knew it.

And so I just couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe he healed me in such a way. That's why I'm so relentless, and I just want to bring people every day. I will spend the rest of my life doing this because people are broken, and the power of Jesus is just unbelievable. It's unbelievable. It's miraculous. And I think that mental health,

just all of it like anxiety depression like it is so alive in our generation millennials and gen z like these young kids like are struggling so much with their mental yeah and they just have to live in it every day yeah and it's so heartbreaking because it's like when you're in your own head it's hell on earth it's literally hell on earth and you know what it is

I was someone who comes from a bloodline of mental health. And sometimes that happens. You're just born with... Some people have to work harder for their mental health because you have a parent or something that suffers. And so you watch that growing up and you think, how am I going to be okay if I have to watch them my whole life struggle, right? Yeah. But...

That's why I am the way I am because it doesn't matter what you grew up in. It doesn't matter how much you struggled or if you think you can't get out of it. Oh, yes, you can. Because if I could get out of it, let me tell you, you can too. And I promise that is my promise to you. If you seek Jesus and you...

That is the beautiful thing about surrender. It's that intimacy and just coming to him raw and being on your knees and saying, I need you. I am struggling. I am hurting. I am broken. My mind won't stop. There's something in that when he comes in and he wraps his arms around you and he takes you in his arms and he's there and he will heal you.

And he will walk beside you through it. And it's miraculous. And I know that every single person watching this will experience that. I'm not saying might. You will. Yes. Done. Thank you so much, Ari. Oh, my gosh.

I felt that. For everyone. It is yours to receive. Yes. The healing, we say it all the time, and that's why our ministry and our podcast and everything that we do is so geared towards healing is because, one, we experience that in our own lives. It's real. You've seen it. He went into our brains like a brain surgeon and healed us from...

years-long trauma from things that we've struggled with our whole lives he took out not saying that it's been easy it's an uphill battle and guess what I take one day away from the word and one day is enough for things to start creeping back it's not a one and done situation it's a lifelong pursuit of Jesus that will keep that healing in your life exactly but like the miracles that Jesus and his disciples did in the Bible in the book of Acts

We can do that today. It happens today. The deliverance. Still. Deliverance is real. The healing, like everything that we read in the Bible, the way that like people struggled, people struggled with mental illness. Like we have always struggled with these things. Demonic oppression. It's always been a thing. They've been around since all of it. You think if someone, you have a voice in your head telling you to whatever yourself. Okay.

You think that's just a random thought? That you're having? That is a demonic, that is a spirit. That is demonic and that is a spirit. That we need deliverance over. Yeah. Period. It's a spirit. Well, and I think what the enemy likes to do though too is that, see guys, this is so wild because I feel like I always, like we always talk about demons on my podcast. Yeah.

Yeah, me too. We've been talking about the dark all the time, but it is. But he likes to hide behind the curtain of like, you just hate yourself so much that you would say that to yourself. And so now we no longer trust ourselves or even like ourselves because we're like, how could I say such awful things to myself? Like, we don't even realize that there's a completely different thing operating behind that. Like, that is not

you and that's not god yeah that is literally the devil that's demons those are evil spirits that are putting those thoughts in your head do not identify with that don't say wow i must really hate myself no it's the enemy or i'm the problem you're not it's me it's just me i just have to accept this about myself yeah and i'm just i'm just like extra hateful like i'm just actually the worst like i'm just too far gone just anxious yeah you know just an anxious person

person right I'm just I just have social anxiety I've gotten that comment sometimes um lately in my comment section when I'm live or whatever on my content where people are like I want to go to church I'm like go and they're like I don't want to go alone and I'm like I went alone like go alone and they're like well I have social anxiety and I said stop identifying that in the name of Jesus Christ right now we bind that up and send it back to the pits of hell to

where it belongs, never come back. You do not have social anxiety in the mighty name of Christ. No, you don't. You're going to go to church and you're going to make a community and you're going to, you're going to meet incredible people who only want to love on you, by the way, like going to church is like, should be, should be the safest place you could go. Any,

Like, what do you mean? Like, you should be going into church and feel so loved on by these people and that lie that you're literally putting on yourself. I have social anxiety. I can't talk to people. Well, you are never going to find a community then. Like, you need to be in community. Go to church. Do it alone. And you're not alone, by the way. You have Jesus with you. Yeah, exactly.

You're never alone. Yeah, I wanted to say real quick because one of the biggest things that I really battled with was I was a self-blamer and just feelings of unworthiness, especially after what I went through last year. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. I had no idea. I had no identity, truly. And when I began my friendship with Angela, that was one of the biggest blessings from you that you had taught me because the thoughts wouldn't stop all day. I felt like I had...

like I it was awful all day just screaming voices in my head and at that time what did you did you just think it was you yeah because you don't you didn't know really what it was right you just know that you're hearing all these awful things in your head so what did you think of

course I thought it was me I believed every single every single thought yeah every single thought I that's why I lived in such darkness I didn't know anything about the enemy I didn't know how to take thoughts captive and I would start talking to Angela I would say these thoughts are running my life and she goes I'll never forget you start laughing you go oh

I know what to do. She goes, you laugh at that thought. When you hear those thoughts, you laugh at them. Laugh in his face. And this was before also I learned how to speak scripture, declare it over you. Speaking scripture is huge. Oh, my girl. Because that is literally like acid. Like, I just see like him like literally being like the enemy I'm talking about. Yeah. Like literally burning when we speak.

Yeah. Yeah, it's the sword of the spirit. It's the only offensive weapon against the attack. Only offensive. It doesn't even say it's one of. It's scripture. It's that sword. When you start speaking the sword, here's what's crazy. When you start speaking the sword, it goes away. What on earth? I used to have

such bad intrusive thoughts like to the point where I couldn't even I couldn't be on a fourth floor balcony because I thought that I would fall off like crazy things the enemy was attacking me in such an incredible hilarious way because he's such a loser he made me so scared of everything wow you would have known me then you wouldn't have recognized me I

I'm legitimately fearless. I only fear the Lord, and I'm not even kidding. Now I literally only fear Jesus. I was such a shell of myself. I was riddled by anxiety, no confidence, no boldness. I'd enter a room basically apologizing that I walked in. That you exist. Yeah. That's just what my presence was. It was apologizing for even existing. And I was so scared of everything, and I would have intrusive thoughts that I was going to get hurt or something was going to happen. It was just overbearing. Living in fear. That is pretty.

Like that's impressive. Like you were literally a slave. Truly. And nothing had ever changed the course of my life than when I discovered 2 Corinthians 10 5.

I demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God. And I take every thought in my mind captive and I make it obedient to Christ over and over and over again. That was the first scripture I ever memorized. That was the first thing I ever put my hands on her head. And I said, we are taking these thoughts captive because you are not subject to your thoughts. You are to govern your thoughts. You are...

are at your mercy and subject to you. That is the first thing that really happened in my relationship with Jesus was that I was like, this thing bows down to the name of Jesus. Let's go. Do you know the freedom you have when those thoughts come in and instead of being in a spirit of fear,

You like, you just, you laugh at them. Wait a minute. You don't believe them anymore. Do you understand what that's going to do to your life? That changes your life. Yeah.

What's really important, I mean, and all four of us preach this, is reading the Word. It's like when you know what Jesus, what God says about you in the Bible, that every lie that you believe in your head can be actively combated by the Word of God. There is a truth to expose every lie that you believe. And so...

you have to read the Bible because then you will no longer, when these thoughts come up in your head, you know that God is for you. And so if there's a thought in your mind that is against you, that's not from God. So why would we believe that? Right. You know what I mean? It's like having the receipts, you know, like how everyone's like, well, where are the receipts? Like the receipts are the Bible.

So it's like we can try to stand up in confidence and be like, oh, no, no, I am worthy. Where are the receipts? Okay, Bible. That's bringing scripture into all of it, like into your prayers, into rebuking, all of it. Receipts. The enemy will be like, okay, yeah, that's really cute, but okay, Bible.

Word of God, like he can't deny that. No one can deny the word of God. - I'll never forget, I have the funniest story. You remember this, 'cause before we started the podcast, I was like making videos on TikTok talking about Jesus and I'll never forget Easter of last year, literally last year, it was right before the podcast. I had already been making videos for a little while and I just felt the Holy Spirit prompt me to like lead people to salvation through TikTok.

it was so weird to like do you know lead people in prayer to accept jesus but i was like okay so i that's so cool i make this video on easter and then i'm like editing it together on tick tock and i'm about to post it and i had gotten to a point now where i'm so in control of my thoughts to the point where like i can still think bad thoughts but it's like they pass through and they go away it's not a part of me i don't need to listen to it i can literally just let it go

And so I'm having these thoughts and I'm actually not even realizing that I'm thinking these things. We had gone to dinner the night before at this place called, I think, Toca Madera. And I'm sitting there and I'm editing this video and I'm under attack and I don't even realize. Do you know what's going through my head? Isn't that funny when we don't even realize it? In my head, I'm thinking, myself, I'm thinking, you are so ugly. I'm editing this video. I'm going, you're so ugly. Everyone was laughing at you last night at dinner because you're so ugly and everyone thinks you're so ugly. I literally go...

What the heck? I literally, I'm so unaffected by the enemy sometimes that I'm like, dude, get out of here. What the heck? No, literally, I have a voice.

I have a voice in my head and I just, my heart hurts for the people who would hear those things and be like, I am. That's real. I am ugly. And everybody was laughing at me last night. And then you become that shell of a human that already, you just like, it's almost like you just, you get attacked, you get hit. It's like you're literally on. You're walking on eggshells. You're on a battlefield. You get hit once, you get hit again. Now you're literally on the ground just getting literally demolished. And I think we have to take it seriously when it says that,

that he the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour and yet we're like oh you get the devil too much credit you talk about the devil too much um he's literally trying to devour me right why would i not why are we not going to acknowledge the lion that's trying to kill us like i'm sorry i need to pay attention we're not going to turn we are not to be afraid but we are just stand firm in our authority i actually also want to ask you guys what you do

I think there's probably a girl listening, even myself, I wanna hear from you guys what you guys would do with this. Say there's so many lies and you're feeling that oppression.

How do you demolish it through the word of God? Like, how do you do it? Because there are some times when you can try to pray it away. What if you're just tired, don't have the words? What if you don't know the scripture? Like, what do you guys do? I think when you are in a situation where you no longer have the ability to fight for yourself,

the first thing you do is you call somebody else to fight for you. And I've been in that situation where I don't have the words to pray. Because the hardest time to pray is when you need it the most. It's in times of distress where it's almost as if God...

Because it's like so easy to praise him when things are good. It's your immediate reaction to be like, thank you, Jesus. Hallelujah. But when things are bad, it's oftentimes you can be so consumed by whatever's happening. You've got to have somebody to pick up and call to fight for you. That's so good. And there are some battles you can try to do on your own. But sometimes you're like in so much spiritual warfare that you're like, I need, I can't.

There was a moment that I had a couple weeks ago, actually, and I truly, like, couldn't even see straight. I was having such bad spiritual warfare. And you remember. Yeah. And I, yeah, so that's a really great point that you said that, and you started praying for me. Yeah. And it just was, like, lifted all off. I will never forget. I was in the Bristol Farms parking lot. Screaming. I was, no, because...

because she was rebuking that devil sometimes when you're going through a bad time this isn't for everyone but some people might experience you actually don't want to talk to god because like there are moments where like when things are bad it can harden your heart and that's such a scary place to be in because that's when you need them the most

And so I remember I asked you like if I could pray for you and you're like, you know what, not right now. - Do you actually know what I, do you want me to be really vulnerable right now? - Absolutely. - Do you wanna know what I did when she started praying for me? I had the phone. I don't know what I would, this was honestly one of the weirdest days.

this is why like you have to be so careful i'm on the phone she goes let me pray for you i go i don't want to i don't want it right now she starts praying you know what i do at walgreens i go like that i put the phone down yeah i put the phone you were like i hear her screaming through the phone yeah yeah and then later on that night you put your hands on me and we started praying again oh and then we went to the worship yeah and that changed because you're right like

Sometimes you're so on the ground defeated, shot at, you don't wanna go to God. You're exhausted. You just got freaking demolished by the devil. You've literally been on the ground shot at

You don't want to go to God. Yeah. You need your friend to war. Right. War for you. Yes. I think it's also... You also have to remember that when you spend enough time with Jesus... So we talked earlier about, like, being at the secret place, spending that intimate, quiet time with Jesus where nobody else is there, nobody knows about it. And, like...

being so close to Jesus, like we know that the Holy Spirit is an intercessor. He makes intercession on our behalf. He will pray our prayers, the groanings of our heart. He'll pray them to God when we don't have the words to speak, when we don't know how to pray as we ought. And so there are those moments where literally all you have to do, that tear is a prayer, just saying, Jesus, there are times where I'm fasting and I'll be like, God, I'm getting weaker and my prayers are getting shorter, but just hear my heart.

So that's all you just, Jesus, hear my heart. Sometimes my heart, that's, yeah, sometimes he like knows so much more than you even know in that moment. Like it's like those moments where you don't know what to pray. You don't know what to say. You don't even really know what you're feeling. You're like, I don't even know what the heck is going on right now, God, but I know something's off. Like, help me. Like he knows exactly what to do in that, in that moment. You know, I always say that everyone says like, how do you pray? When I feel him the most is when I'm at my weakest, when I can't even barely pray.

Yeah. And I talk to him like he's my good father. Yeah. That's just sitting there listening. And that's all you need to do. You go to him so raw, so vulnerable and just be you. I love that you say that when you don't know what to do because you just feel so depleted. You just say, Jesus, just say one word. Yeah. I need you. That's all you have to do. Yeah. Yeah.

It's all you have to do. And he may not take it away, but he's walking with you through it. But he's going to comfort you through it. He's walking you through it. And I know when he doesn't take the pain away, I know it's because there's a reason for it. But I know that I don't get scared anymore. I have a knowing and a peace of mind.

when I am in pain, that I have a Father that's walking with me through it. He's that light in my darkness and everything will be okay. And that's the difference between when you don't have God and when you do have God. When you don't have God, you're just in this panic mode and your life is just falling apart. And when you do have Him, because we're all going to go through storms, we're all going to go through these seasons of just hardships.

but you know you have a Father that is right there with you, walking with you through it. Yes. That's so good, Ari. I love that so much. Yeah. So we talked a lot about, Ari, like your story and how you started with the Lord, but I would love to hear even just a little bit more

Whatever, you're testimony too. I want to hear it. How did you, because the way that you were so bold in your faith, you know, meeting Ari was so strategic from the Lord too. Like you were really obviously rooted in him before to be able to lead her and help her. So how did you find Jesus? I need to hear that story. They need to hear that story. You're the best host ever. You're so cute. So I basically, I grew up with,

who, I didn't grow up in the church. I went to, I was Catholic growing up. And so I went to Catholic school my whole life. I went to Catholic church every mass, every single weekend. I never, I didn't know anything in the Bible. I truthfully didn't even know John 3, 16. Like I couldn't recite one thing to you. I had no idea. My mom loves Jesus so much. And I grew up with a mom and that's probably why I am the way that I am, that Jesus is like so tangible and his presence is...

because my mom would just be moved to tears like she would start praying and she would instantly be moved to tears i just saw a woman who was so boldly in love with god and who just she knew that jesus was her saver she didn't know anything in the bible either but she had such a which is so

cool, I think. 'Cause now I'm like, how do you even know Jesus if you don't know the Bible? 'Cause they go hand in hand for me. - It's hard. - That is Jesus. - Yeah. - Yeah. And so, but my mom had such a, she had such a deep spiritual understanding that she had a savior who died for her and that he was just a call away. And so I grew up with a mom who prayed for me my whole life. My dad is not religious at all. He was actually Muslim, converted to Catholicism to marry my mom, but not religious in any way.

And so I grew up going to church, but I loved Jesus so much, but my love for him didn't affect the way that I lived my life at all. I was the warmest of the lukewarm. Sometimes recently I've been thinking like,

I've always called myself a Christian, but to be a Christian means that you're a follower of Jesus. And there wasn't a single part of my life that followed Jesus. So I don't even know if I was a Christian, if I'm being honest, because I was a good person. Like I was good. I had good intentions. I love people. I was just how I am now. But in terms of sin, bye. You know what I mean? Like, so when I got into high school, I started...

drinking, I started partying, I started getting involved with boys and just doing things that were not great for my life. I, Jesus really took a backseat in my life. I, I pretty much, I still loved him. I'd still go to bat for him and talk like I was on the debate team for Jesus. Like I'd fight everyone. I didn't even know what I was saying, but I would fight for him. You know, that just shows that your soul was like,

He already created you to be this way. Even if you weren't living it out, you were still just so bold for him. You wanted to tell everyone about him. I just didn't know. I didn't know what the Bible said. So when someone tells you, hey, you shouldn't do X, Y, and Z,

That's just like random people saying things to me. I don't know that for myself. I haven't experienced it I haven't received that touch from Jesus so long story short I get into college and I moved to LA when I'm 18 I get into college start experiencing horrific panic attacks I start struggling with my mental health for the first time in my whole life imagine the fearless person that I am today That's who I was

my whole life until I became probably like 19 years old. I started to receive such an insane attack on my mental health, such bad anxiety, intrusive thoughts. I developed OCD, which was what I was diagnosed with a few years ago. I started to self-medicate with alcohol. And so I got into this perpetuating, like vicious, toxic, violent cycle of

self-medicating with alcohol to feel better from the anxiety i'm less just wild because it makes you more anxious like i did that too with alcohol and it only made me more anxious nothing makes you more anxious than drugs and alcohol alcohol was it makes you it fixes it for literally 20 minutes and then as soon as that high is gone you need more otherwise you're in a much worse position and you're left with more anxiety like anxiety and you're like oh my gosh i'm the worst person i said all the worst things last night it's awful anxiety was you don't

even know how bad. I identified in that every weekend. Oh, I identified in that. No, 100%. So then when I, this went on for a few years. I essentially got sober when I was 23 years old. It was a Thanksgiving. I didn't know that I had a spiritual experience with Jesus, but I always mark this as the day that I got saved, technically, just because

God's hand was so on my life and it's as if my spirit came into agreement with his and we decided together we are done with this. It was a supernatural deliverance that he did on my behalf. I didn't ask him to and nobody actually know that's not true. Somebody did. So just the way we talk about how Ari was spoon fed the Bible. God sent me an angel. His name is Socrates. He's a pastor in Florida.

And he became a really close family friend of my family. And this man saw in me what I never saw in myself. Oh, wow. He prophesied over me the first day he met me that I was going to teach millions about Jesus. That part is crazy to me. Here you are like, what? Dude, I'm literally probably tipsy on the phone with him. You're like, yeah.

You had a couple mimosas at brunch and you're like, oh. I'm not even kidding. Wait, that is so wild how he spoke that over your life. Yeah. He saw the call of God on your life while you were still living in it. He did. Wow. But that's what Jesus has always done for me. And that's why I love him so much that even when I'm in the

middle of sin he still is looking to the future version of myself who will eventually obey him and that's why he doesn't condemn he's not judging me off the person i am he's looking at who i'm going to become through him and his grace it's so good and so i'm like like okay socrates yeah me ministry like it's just that you would have never been able to convince me of that a day in my life

And then so, but I started to open up to Socrates. The anxiety is bad. He's praying for me every day. He's teaching me the Bible. I'm still not picking it up myself, but I do realize, I do learn about authority and I learn about boldness and I do learn about the enemy and I learn about spiritual warfare. And that's why we get a little bit upset when people shy away from it because that's what saved my life is learning that I do have an enemy that does roar around like a lion. And so I'm sitting there

and I start praying for myself and he teaches me how to pray. And God didn't fix it instantly. But a few months later, after I start this relationship with Socrates, where he's praying for me, I quit drinking on a Thanksgiving. I just give it up one day. I put it down and I don't pick it back up. The next few months of my life are horrific. I was in fight or flight. I was truly just I was on autopilot in survival mode. And I'm

I'm sitting. God is. When is this? What year is this? This is 2019. Oh, so 2019 Thanksgiving is when I stopped drinking. Was it like you heard from God and he said, put it down? No. Like what was it? Because a lot of people are in addiction and they just get back into it.

and they quit and they get back and then they quit. - How do you cut it? - The fact that you literally stopped. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Oh my goodness. - 'Cause the addiction was pretty bad for about, so I had been drinking for a couple of years with the whole self-medicating thing. Like I knew my reason for drinking was not good. It was not like everybody else.

And then the last six months of my drinking were so bad to where I was no longer really functioning as a normal person in society. I was in the house all day long simply medicating. And God had sent me a person. It's my ex-boyfriend. His name is Jake. He is still a really good friend of mine, a really, really wonderful person. He basically...

He was the only person in my life because I hid it so well. And that's why you are truly as sick as your secrets. Not a single person knew except this, except Jake, because he was the closest person to me. And so he basically came, it came to a head where he was like, he loved me so much. And he came to me with tears in his eyes and he said, I'm done. If you don't stop drinking, I don't want to be with you. And that was, it was like the perfect mixture of God's spirit empowering me and also enough like

self-loathing and like reflection of being like the one person in the world who loves me so much doesn't want to be with me it's over like it's done i don't know how it was it was super natural i can't explain it i put it down not even understanding that it would be the last time hoping thinking maybe and even the following months i was like i don't know if this is gonna stick because i'm really anxious and i'm not feeling good you guys for about a year you guys know how i am i didn't laugh

There wasn't a humorous bone in my body for about six months. I was simply surviving. My body was trying to repair itself to go from drinking to having absolutely no vice. It was traumatic on my body. It was really scary. Wow.

But that pain was so necessary for me to first of all learn my lesson, be like, I'm never going back there again because that was really, that hurt a lot. And so anyways, God starts, he starts pressing in on me. I start listening to worship music. I have Socrates praying for me every single day. I start to pray for myself. That's really what changed. If you look at my journal during that time, it went from like manifestation. I'd be like, I am this. I worship.

want a million dollars I this whatever I am worthy yeah I am great and then it started to go to dear Jesus thank you Jesus oh thank you and there was a moment that's so good I know and like probably I think about like a year into being sober I had written in my in my journal I

I confess with my mouth that Jesus is Lord, and I believe in my heart that he died for my sins. I give my life to you. So maybe that's when I got saved because I don't even know where I heard that. I didn't read the Bible yet, but my spirit was speaking these things that Jesus is Lord. And, like, again, I didn't have community. These were all things that the Holy Spirit was working in me. I don't even know where I heard this stuff. Wow. It was him. It was just totally him. The secret place, too. Yeah. You were getting in the secret place.

place. Yeah. And so basically I then I picked up a Bible one day. I went to a Christian, I went to mosaic. I went to a Christian church, which was very different from Catholic church. I saw John's scripture on the, on the screen. And I was like, I like that, whatever that is. It's telling the story of a guy I've loved my whole life, but I don't know that story. And I want to know what that says. I opened John. I saw the book of John come to life in

before my eyes. My spirit was awakened. My eyes were open. It was done. Me, Jesus. Forever. Forever. Wow. And that was what year? That was 2021. So I got so, or

the end of 2020 I believe is when that happened or 2021 is when I first started yeah 2021 because that's when I moved into my Hollywood house again or for the first time and since that day it's been a it's been a process though it hasn't I did not throw everything away right away it wasn't truly until I found community until I started the podcast that God had like we said earlier where where God

oftentimes makes you a leader before you're even ready because it forces you to step into that position because up until then I loved Jesus so much but I didn't have any responsibility and the truth is that I ministered I was ministering to so many people in my life I was the backbone of so many people's faith in my life but I was always the holiest person in that room yeah and so there was I love you shared that part of your testimony before and I love the way you said that where you were like I'm the best Christian I know I'm the best Christian I know so I'm doing

So I'm doing really well. Right. But that's real. Like when it's just you. Especially in a culture like LA. Yeah. Are you kidding me? I was a, I was a unicorn in LA. I was like, I, you know, but then I was, I was really hit with the most beautiful thing of my life was when I started to experience conviction for the first time, um, where I was like, isn't that crazy conviction? Like I'm sitting there being like, dude, I've been doing this my whole life. Why? Why?

I've never felt this before. Why is God taking this piece away from me? No, no, no, no, no. I can't stop this. I can't. What am I? Who am I without this? I can't not do this. Wow. I mean, yeah, it's been even with the alcohol. It's like one day you're like,

well, I can't do this anymore. 100%. 100%. I mean, I was fully the type of person, even a couple months, few months into my journey with the Lord where I like legitimately had a bottle of wine in my home all the time. Like I was like, what do you mean? Wine with my dinner? Like that's normal. Like every day, you know? Every day having a glass. For real? Because I was like,

It's casual. It's cute. It's in my home. Everyone does it. Also, like, I feel like I justified wine a lot. Like, I was like, it's not like I'm slinging back tequila shots in my house because that would be concerning, right? But not the bottles of wine that need to be restocked in your home, you know? Like, I mean, I would go through, like, multiple bottles a week. And so I was definitely getting to the place. I don't know if I was becoming addicted, but I was, like, I was, like, relying. Like, I relied on wine for, like, every emotion. It was great.

well, celebration, I was like, oh my gosh, I got through today. Wine, oh my gosh, I'm so freaking anxious. It was the hardest day of my life. Wine, I'm sad, I'm bored. Like it was literally like, I mean, I went to wine for all those feelings. And it was funny because like, even when I go live on TikTok a lot, apparently I keep bringing it up, but I was like, I would go live on TikTok and my followers would be like, where's the wine? Like we're having wine and eat. And it was like, just like such a part of my brand, even in the beginning of my journey. So when you, like when we say the grace that the Lord has for us,

it's crazy because I'm standing here being like I love Jesus and I'm on live drinking my red wine it's awful it's so awful but no it's real it's so real and I think it's crazy because for me it really was like a switch where I was just like I just didn't want it anymore I was like I just I just felt the conviction and I was like wait this is like

I can't do this. I cannot continue to just have wine like casually in my home. I don't even really like want alcohol at all anymore. And it's crazy because it's like a person that I was a year ago could have never imagined that I'd be saying that now. Like, what do you mean? I love wine. Like it was like a part of my identity in a weird way where it was like, I love wine and I love

pizza and that's just my life you know so anyway yeah conviction's real and it is so real too that the lord can actually change your freaking palate like he can change the things that you crave the things you desire like that is real he's that powerful and it's just wild because it's like even you like look at you you literally were like i need alcohol to live

And God was like, no, you don't. Yeah, no. I mean, the whole situation with alcohol, like God truly, there are some things where he just changes your appetite and he will give you conviction. But then there's also moments where he's like, I actually have to save your life right now because there is something severely wrong. And it was, and it was really scary. And honestly, this is sometimes part of my testimony that I skip over. You inspired me so much when you were on our episode 20 minutes ago that like you,

You said the raw stuff and sometimes you skip over that. My situation was really bad. I would have died. There were moments, first of all, I wanted to die. And there were moments where I was like, I'm going to die. This is going to be the end of me. I had reached the point where the sin was no longer fun. The sin had literally led to death and I was on my way there.

God had to step in supernaturally to free me from that. And so it's almost still maybe one day I'll have an understanding of how that worked exactly. But all I can say was it was supernatural. God intervened and he saved me when I didn't deserve it. And that's what he's always done for me. He's always shown me favor when I didn't deserve it. Even with our podcast that has had so much favor on it. And we're so...

unbelievably grateful to the point where we look at each other all day these are two girls who who like we wouldn't have we didn't even ask for it i mean it was to the point where when we started the podcast i was literally being like i still don't want this i still don't want to be in ministry i still i just want to talk about jesus because i love him but i still don't want to change and he still was like

I'm going to give you grace because I know who you're going to be in the future. Right. You know what I mean? And so that's what he's always done. So in that moment, I did not deserve his forgiveness and his, I had not repented from the things I had done, but he knew I would in the future. And so he gave me like, he flash forwarded the grace and, you know, and the saving that he gave me. So. Wow.

I'm really, that's why we love him so much. He's so good. I'm so proud of you for sharing that. Yeah. Because I just think a lot of people don't talk about addiction. Yeah. And it's a real stronghold. It is. Especially in the next gen. Yeah.

In the youth, like, man, there's so many things to be addicted to. And we don't talk about it enough. No, we don't talk about it enough. And especially, like, for women, I feel like it's different when a man gets sober. Like, it's, like, heroic when a man gets sober. It's attractive. It's cool. It's noble. Like, he's so strong. If a woman...

struggles with stuff like this it's almost like it's a it should be a man's problem but it's like when women struggle with it it's like she's damaged goods like that's weird like you're not supposed to struggle with that so like you don't hear women talking about that but like mommy wine culture is such a thing where like there are literal moms who sit there and they numb themselves every single night because they think like they've had such a hard day with the kids that they then numb themselves

from even having to deal with their kids. This is a whole thing that's on the internet and it's really, this is a female problem as much as it is a male problem. - And it's wine. I'm telling y'all, there's that justification that comes with drinking wine where you're like, this isn't even the hard stuff. I could be going way harder than this. I could be sipping whiskey. I could be doing,

whatever, like bourbon. And you're like, it's just wine. It's still a substance. You're still drunk and you're still hungover. So. And the Xanax. Yeah. If you're having a hard night, you need to sleep, I'll just pop a Xanax. And we got the vaping. Yes. The vaping. I mean, we go out. I don't see one person without one now. Especially here. Yeah. And that's a big one. And it's starting so young too. Like, especially with the vaping. It's like middle schoolers. People are in middle school.

Yeah. Vaping. Really, really pray for the kids. It's so scary. If you're under the sound of our voice and you're struggling with that, like you're not alone. You can be freed by it. You're not alone. And Jesus, he wants to meet you there. Like it's not just like something that, you know, we don't talk about in the church. We need to talk about it more. Yeah. And if you're struggling too and you want to be freed from these things where you don't even know where to start,

I would encourage you to simply invite God into the situation. Jesus, I invite you into the situation with the vaping or the alcohol or whatever it is. And like, I might not have the strength right now in this very moment, but I will through you. So just start to work.

And he who started a good work in you will bring it to completion. All you have to do is invite him to start it and he will complete it. He did with me. I simply invited him and it took months for him to complete it. And he did on his timing when he...

was ready when I was ready and when the time was right. And he'll do the same thing with you too because I know a lot of people vape because they don't feel good. It's like a social thing. They're uncomfortable so they suck on. It's anxiety. And God will do the work in you. He will put a boldness and confidence in you if you just allow him to. Seek him, build an intimate relationship with him. You have no idea the transformation he will do in your life. Immediately. Immediately.

He like immediately comes. There is no like, hey, Jesus, come. I need you. And he's like, all right, give me 20 minutes. All right, well, I'm dealing with all this other stuff. So can you just hang on for like another hour? It literally says in the Bible and immediately he comes. Like when Peter was drowning, when he looked away from Jesus and he was drowning, it said immediately.

Jesus came and took him out of the water. Like that's who he is. So the minute you call his name, that's all he needs. He just needs an invitation. He just needs you to allow him and say, come. He's already there. Yeah.

He's immediately there. Yeah, and it's also like, it's something that we've really noticed in our walk is like, yes, He will bring it to completion, but you also have to meet Jesus and you have to take responsibility for your faith. And like, I think about how I spent years reading the Bible, knowing the truth about

of God's word and still actively rejecting it. And I've like tried to justify it so many times in my head, like, well, I just, the enemy was attacking me and blinding me and scales were on my eyes. And it's like, no, I literally didn't care. And I was like, I just, I simply didn't care. And I had to take responsibility and be like, this is what I'm reading. This is the truth.

if everything else is the truth if all of god's promises have come to pass in my life and everything has been true thus far but i'm picking these little things and deciding that they're not true because it's going to be really hard to get rid of them

Who am I kidding? What am I? I am truly, yes, I'm hurting God, but it's me that I'm hurting. I'm doing myself a disservice. And it's when you step out in faith to be like, you know what? This is what God says about it. And I'm just going to try. Just even try. Just stepping out in faith and trying. And then all of a sudden, it'll meet you afterwards. The conviction meets you afterwards to be like, oh my gosh, he was right all along. And it's actually not even as hard as I thought it would be. That's what happened with the alcohol. I came into agreement. We talked about surrender. I literally just surrendered. And I was like,

you say this is bad, I'm going to believe you. And then it came, the revelation came afterwards of being like, oh, he was right the whole time. You know, but first came out of agreement. And I think that's how the stronghold can be broken. Yeah. Yeah. Is you have to come out of agreement with the lie. And the issue is, I think a lot of people are still struggling with it because they haven't fully come out of agreement with the lie that they need it to, you know, I need it. Well, I need it. Well, if

I don't have it. This is going to happen. Well, I'm going to have this side effect. It's so true. Or I'm going to not be a good person. I'm not going to be likable. I'm not going to be happy. I'm not going to be at peace. It's like, break that off. The moment you come out of agreement with that is when the deliverance comes. But if you do not come out of agreement with the lie and come into agreement with truth, Yeah.

You're still in bondage to the enemy. Yeah, that's what I was going through. I simply couldn't let go of my sin because I didn't think I could. I was just like, I don't think I can. How am I going to let go? Yeah, you're like, what do you mean? I am stuck here. Something that I have been attached to my whole life, I'm going to just... But when I did...

it's not even hard anymore. And now I realize that's where my lack of peace was coming from. That's where my depression was coming from. That's where my anxiety was coming from. I was separated from God. I was sinning. I wasn't doing the right thing. And I'm, I look back and I say, I couldn't imagine ever living that way again. Wow. Yeah. It's so real. How was I living like that? I know. I think back on versions of myself and I'm like, how? How?

Did I survive that? Yeah, and although I have moments where, you know, it might be a little hard, it feels so foreign to me the way I used to live. And it is so effortless now. And I'm just like, it's just, you think you can't do it. And then when you actually take a leap of faith, God meets you right there and he takes those desires out. There's an empowerment that comes from the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is a force.

not just a force because the Holy Spirit is a person that you should have an intimate relationship with and like you can be in constant fellowship with the Holy Spirit all day long. You talk to the Holy Spirit, invite him, he comes. Like it's like a dance. It's the most beautiful thing. It's like a dance. It's so beautiful. But the Holy Spirit, there's this empowerment that comes and scripture says that you will not be tempted beyond what you can bear, but God will provide a way of escape for you. So like all these things that you feel like you can't live without,

let me tell you with the empowerment from the Holy Spirit, you can. There are things that have broken off me that I literally marvel at the fact that I can live without them. And it's easy, not everything. And everything comes, sacrifice is supposed to hurt. And like we, I, sacrifice has been my word for the year, especially after fasting and like fasting is such a sacrifice. I'm sacrificing myself.

my desire to eat and to feed my flesh and to feed my body. And so I'm sitting here and sacrifice. I realized, especially when I've done like longer fast and absolute fast with no water and it hurts so badly. There was a moment where I was like, it's supposed to hurt. Sacrifice is supposed to hurt. Jesus really hurt when he died on the cross. That was the ultimate sacrifice and it hurt him. He felt every single bit of pain.

Just because he's God, he's also human. He was not exempt from that pain, just like we're not exempt from pain. And so if his sacrifice hurt, ours is supposed to hurt as well. So when you're giving things up, it does hurt. You don't know the pain that I felt for at least six months, constant all day when I stopped drinking was unbelievable. My anxiety was a million times worse. I fully had started disassociating from my brain, from my body, because my brain was trying to protect itself because I was...

in such a heightened state of anxiety is really scary and it hurt but look what the end result was you know what I mean? You would not be here if you had not come out of agreement with that lie. You would not be ministering to millions but God saw it and He led you and it's just

Such a gift. Just see it. That's where confidence comes from. You want to know how to be confident? Obey. Be obedient. Yes. Living right. Following the word of God. When I started really living right and being obedient, I am truly a different person. My confidence, because I just live good...

I just, I realized when I, I didn't know because I didn't have the Bible, but I was in constant shame and guilt because I was living in sin. Yeah. It's just so rewarding. Well, and I think that that's, that's what is so beautiful about following the Lord is that it's, and like being obedient and, you know, he's got all these rules and we can't sin and we can't do this and that, but it's not rules because there's so much fruit that comes from it. Like there literally is so much goodness that comes from obedience.

being obedient to the Lord. Like it's not just like, yes, sir. It's like, no, like your life is about to be so freaking awesome. Thank you for saying that. Like you're going to have the most confidence you've ever had in your life. You're going to feel so clear. You're going to feel joy. Like you're going to feel alive. We were talking about our spirit, like feeling dead before. It's like you, the fruit, like that's why we believe in him because he shows up, he gives us the receipts and we see the way that he moves in our life. I love it.

It's the reward. Thank you for saying this because that's exactly was my mindset. I was like, I have to follow these rules for a while. What's it going to do? Yeah. But he's like, just wait. He's like, just give me a couple months. Give me a couple weeks actually. You're going to see

gonna see the fruit and then you're like then you're like low-key addicted to that yeah actually if I'm gonna be addicted to anything I guess it's gonna be the Lord because it's so addictive when you see the fruit you said this last night because we were just in this incredible community I could cry like

I mean, it was just like we were in heaven last night. And we were running on zero sleep. We were running on three hours. We were hitting 24 hours of being awake because we had flown in at the frigging crack of dawn. And we were like, God, why is our tonight not ending? Like, why are we still going? Like, we were invited to this thing after church and we were like...

But there's a reason that we're going, right? And what you said, we literally were driving home at midnight and we're exhausted. Half alive. But Allie's like, Ashley, I feel so alive. Yeah. I don't even remember saying that, to be honest. She's like, this is the best. Like, this is the most fun. High, high, high. It literally was giving high on Jesus. Swear. Swear.

I don't even know what it feels like. It was worship, right? Yeah, it was worship, but then we also... It was friends. It was just the people we were around. This freedom, and I just believe God wants what we felt last night. God wants everyone to feel that abundant joy explode. You're just like... It is nothing else on earth. Nothing else on earth can make you feel like that other than the Holy Spirit. And there's no...

No. No, there isn't. Can I tell you that I'm so glad that you just brought that up because I could be having the worst of worst days. I could be getting attacked by the enemy. By the way, when we had told that story, when I put the phone down, we had went to a worship night that night. Wow. And the enemy just...

Wanted to rip all of that. I mean, I was delivered that night. And I had never... This is coming from a girl who didn't even know about the enemy a year ago. I was... I felt something coming off of me. It was one of the most insane experiences I have ever had. And you... And I just... I love that you guys say that because...

if you can just go to a worship night it changes you worshiping even if you're dreading going low-key which is like so silly because it's like you know the fruit of like coming out of moments like that because you've seen it and you've been like hyped like amped up on the holy spirit right and

And then you're like, why do I not want to go right now? You know, like when you were in that rut, I bet a feeling you were like, I don't want to go to worship night. I almost did it. Yeah. Thank God I have no shame. And I'm like, get in the car. You need that friend. That's right. Go in. Yeah. But man, worshiping is so hard. But it does. And then it turned it around for you. Like, I'm telling you. Praise for heaviness. Go to worship nights. Worship in the car. Please be in community with other people. Like even simply just...

Sometimes it's not even the song, I'll just look over and I'll see someone like literally beaming for the Lord and I'm like, okay, I'm back.

You know what I mean? Just being around people who are so clearly in love with Jesus, you're like, okay, I love it here. You know? And when you're feeling that heaviness, it does say, like, put on a garment of praise. Like, praise for, like, God wants us, when we're feeling that heaviness, just start praising him. Just start worshiping. Like, literally right on the spot. Like, everything. You're just saying, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, hallelujah. Force yourself to do it. Like, I'm telling you, if you're in the car, if you're, whatever you're listening to, just start, like, if you're feeling that heaviness, it just feels like,

Like one, start praising Jesus. Just say worship. Just turn on upper room. Just worship your heart out. Then call your friend. Okay, but if you don't have that kingdom friend right now to pray over you, just worship my girl because it's just going to lift. It's going to lift it off. Yeah, and you'll feel it. Yeah. In church, I mean...

Just I just speak into people that are just coming to religion. I when I didn't have anyone, I just made it a point to go to church every single Sunday. And I went by myself. I had no one to go with. Yeah, that's what changed my life. I went there every Sunday and I had those people that, you know, the people that stand in the front. I had them praying on me every Sunday. Boy, did it change my life.

You know what? I love that you went to church alone because same. And I don't know if you... Because we all go to church alone. We all did.

Oh, that's it. That is on purpose. We went to the same church too. Yeah, yeah. But like I really think that sometimes it doesn't even, I mean, it doesn't, in the beginning at least, it doesn't really come from boldness. It comes from desperation. Yeah. Like you're like, actually, I need the Lord so much that I don't even care I'm going to go alone. Like I need church. I need him. I didn't walk into church with confidence. I walked into church being like, hungry. Huh?

I'm just desperate and I want to live. Give me bread. I just want to live. Like, that's what I walked into church with, you know? You know, there was something so intimate that I look back that was so special about going by myself. I felt such an intimacy with him just being alone. Like, yeah.

I look back and I'm just so proud of myself because it's not easy to go to church when you're so depressed and just to go alone and have the boldness to go up to those people and be like, can you pray for me? Can you put your in front of everyone? So, yeah, I would love to pray for

for any listeners who might it's so crazy how like specific this topic has been this is like crazy it's different than anything i've been able to bring to the podcast before so like praise jesus hallelujah that's incredible but i really would just love to pray over our listeners right now so if we can all just hold hands yeah and we're just gonna pray just pray for any healing um

Lord Jesus, I just thank you so much for this community right here, God. You have such an army of women in this room, God, and I'm so grateful for them, Jesus. Thank you for blessing me and everybody who's on the other side of this podcast with their presence, Jesus. Just thank you for being here, God. And we just want to uplift every single person who is listening, God. I pray that through my voice they feel spoken to directly to them through you, God, Jesus.

That you know every single one of them personally, God. You know every hair on their head, Jesus. That you hear them, you see them. You're right next to them right now, actually. Wherever they're, wherever, like to their right, actually. Like whatever their right is. It could be in bed. It could be on the couch. It could be in the car. It could be in the grocery store. It could be on the sidewalk. Jesus, you're right there with them, God.

And so I just pray that they feel that right now, Jesus. We pray for healing. We pray for whatever chains, whatever struggles they're going through. Jesus, addiction, mental health was so heavily talked about in this episode, God. And we know that that was not an accident. That was on purpose. There are people who are truly dealing with that and they're struggling with it. Or maybe there are people in their families, there's friends, there's people they know who are struggling with it too, God. And so we just pray for those chains, God. We pray that you remove them in your mighty name, Jesus. They are broken off right now in Jesus' name, God.

They are breaking off as I'm continuing to speak right now, Jesus. Thank you so much, God. That we bind those demons and all of the negative thoughts that might be going through their head late at night, Jesus, God. We just bind it up and we send them back to the pits of hell where they belong, God, that they will never come back in Jesus' name, Jesus, God. Thank you so much, God. Thank you so much.

for this moment. Thank you for this space, God. Thank you for allowing it to you. Just continuing to use my sisters here as just vessels for your kingdom, Jesus. God, we are so grateful for you. So I pray that in your mighty name, Jesus. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Thank you, Jesus. What a seal. Thank you. What a seal. We said the same time. Beautiful.

Oh my gosh. I love you guys. I love you so much. Thank you. All of you, Ashley. Thank you, Ari. Thank you, Ange, for being here. I love you all so much. I could sleep right now. I know. That was beautiful. Good night. Good night. We are just so proud of you. Thank you. You are moving this next generation. You are doing something. You've just been saved a year. You took it.

I am so proud of you. Thank you. I am so proud of you. And we are so blessed to have you as sisters. Yeah. We love you guys so much. We love you. Thank you for using your platform for Jesus. Thank you for using your platforms. And praise God that we can bring them all together. Are you kidding? Amen. They're like literally freaking out.

This is amazing that we're all together right now. So something that I like to say in the end is like, okay, guys, can we just do something really cool? Can we all just like walk a little bit more like Jesus today? Can we just show somebody why Jesus is so cool today? Let's give people more compassion, more love, like just literally walk the earth with his light and his light only. Amen.

Thank you guys for tuning in. Thank you for coming in for another Friday. Happy Friday, by the way. Happy weekend. Let's have a great weekend. Let's have a great week with the Lord. And we just love you guys so much. We'll see you in the next episode. Thanks for having us. Thank you for that. Christ will call you all night.

If you guys can't wait until next Friday for another episode, you are in luck. Subscribe to our Patreon where you will have early access to future episodes and occasional surprise bonus episodes. Make sure to follow us on Instagram and TikTok for more content. And if this episode spoke to you, please write us a five-star review since it helps the podcast so much. We'll see you guys next time.