S2 EP12. I Don't Want To Be Lukewarm Anymore
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Hello everybody, welcome to another episode of Christ with Coffee on Ice. Happy Friday everybody, I'm so grateful to be here with you guys, I'm so grateful to be spending another Friday with you guys. I hope that you had a blessed week, I hope that you're having an incredible morning or day or evening. Whenever you're listening to this, I am praying heavy prayers that you are just filled with gratitude and you feel so blessed. I'm so grateful that you're here with me, I'm so grateful that you're here with me,

regardless of the heaviness or the hardships that you're facing. Something we can always do is hold gratitude in our hearts. And God does tell us in scripture that when we have a grateful heart, it's hard for anything else to fill it, right? When we fill our heart, every little crevice of our heart with gratitude, it's hard to hold anything other than that. Gratitude and joy, you know?

So I love you guys. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for hanging out with me for another day. I'm really excited for this episode. I really just want to speak from God's heart if that's okay with everybody. I also want to say that I'm so stoked about the feedback that we got on last week's episode. I got so many DMs and just comments on our socials I noticed too that you guys loved

the concept that we did, which was new for our podcast, to just simply sit down and read scripture. And you guys loved it. So praise God. Hallelujah. Thank you, Jesus. I'm so grateful that you guys liked it. I was a little nervous, but then I was like, why?

Should I be nervous about that? Like, these are the type of people, the people who are tuning in right now, you guys who are tuning in, crave the Lord, right? Like, that's why we're all here. So with that comes craving his word. And so I'm just so grateful. I'm so grateful that you guys loved it. And we are absolutely going to do more episodes like that. Honestly, maybe the next episode we do of that, we just pick up where we left off in John, or we could just hop around the Bible. I'm not sure what the system would really look like or what you guys think or would suggest. So if you have any suggestions, please,

please message Christ with coffee on Instagram or make a comment. I don't know, but it would be awesome to know what your guys' feedback could be on like how we continue to do that. We could hop around the Bible for sure, or we could just keep going until we finish a book and

And then move on to another book. I don't know. We'll see. We'll see. We're still navigating that. Maybe I can bring that to the Lord too and he could tell me. But I love you guys. I'm so grateful. I'm so excited. Okay. So this week's episode, I really want to focus on, you know, what it's like to be close to God, feeling close to God, but then staying close to God, right? Because I think as a new believer myself, I've felt...

All of that just in this past year and some change that I've been following the Lord. I felt all of those seasons where it's like that initial flame of being so lit and on fire. I don't even think I'm out of that season at all. Actually, I think I'm still absolutely lit on fire for the Lord, but.

It's that feeling of first love, right? Where you just first discover Jesus, you fall in love with him. It is so passionate. Like your love for him is so on fire. And then you go into ruts of feeling like you don't have that closeness or maybe you're having an off day or an off week or an off month.

And you're like, what is going on? Why do I not feel close to the Lord? And so I want to share with you guys just from my experience, truly, like this might just be giving big sister vibes where I'm just giving you guys advice on what's worked for me in my walk of faith and why I found myself becoming distant from the Lord.

Like, why do I not feel him as heavy in my life now as I did last week or yesterday? You know what I mean? Because that's very real. And I think that's something that we need to remember is that we are still human. And anytime that we feel far from the Lord or we feel our faith is kind of inconsistent, it's not normally him. It's probably us.

Actually, I can promise you it's not him and it's definitely us. So but we go into this default where we're like, we blame God, where we're like, God, where are you? And he's like, bro, I'm right here. Honey, I'm right here. Where did you go? And sometimes we go astray from the Lord and we don't even realize that we did and

And so because we don't have that self-awareness and we didn't realize that it was something that we did or it's something that we're lacking or it's something in our heart that we are not confronting, we look to him and we're like, nah, God, where are you? Why are you far from me? Why don't I feel you? What did I do wrong? You know, we get into this defense where it's almost like God has removed himself.

But anytime that we feel distant from the Lord, we have removed ourself. We have strayed away. We have gone down our own path, even if it doesn't feel like it, even if we don't realize it. You know, we could be in denial about that too, you know, but God never leaves us. God never removes his presence. He's always present and he never abandons us. If we feel like God is far from us, it is definitely and most likely something that we are doing because we're human, because we have our faults, because...

our flesh is weak because we're weak, you know, without him. And even I have fallen to that, you know, like I've gotten comments on some of my socials where you guys have been like, have you ever felt distant from the Lord, Allie? And I'm like, yes.

Yeah, I'm human like absolutely I have I've gone through weeks where I've been like where is God and There's a post that I made a few months back. This was when I was still living in LA I don't know maybe three or four months four or five months ago And I was kind of having a very vulnerable moment Some of you guys might have seen this video already if you didn't I'll just describe it really quick where I was very emotional because I had not felt the presence of God in days and

you

So I kind of was going through that feeling of abandonment where I was like, God, where did you go? What's going on? And so I kind of have this vulnerable moment in my kitchen. I'm crying, obviously, because that's what I do on the Internet. LOL. And I was like, I have not felt God in days. I've been praying through it. I've been worshiping through it. And I'm like, I feel like I've been underwater. And so that morning I put on worship music and I

I felt that heavy presence of like when it feels like he's standing in front of you, that type of presence, right? I felt that feeling for the first time in days and I literally collapsed like relief. I explained it like it felt like I was underwater for days and then I finally came up for air and that's what it felt like. I feel like God has given me a little bit more awareness to what that feeling was and why I felt that way.

And a part of me now understands why I felt that way. And I kind of disagree with that version of myself a few months ago. You know, my message to that was I was encouraging anybody on the other side of the screen who was watching that video to just hang on, which is very true. Hang on. Like, hang on through the numbness, through the weird, like,

Why don't I feel God? And I think that message is very valid. Like sometimes we do just have to push through weird ruts and continue to praise him through it, continue to have a grateful heart through it, continue to read our Bibles, spend time in, you know, the quiet space, whatever that looks like for you, whether it's in your bedroom, in a closet, you know, be in that space with the Lord, continue to do those things even through the numbness because that's so real, you know? So I was encouraging people to do that. But I think...

This is just a theory that I have now. Looking back on who I was then and who I am now, I feel like the Lord has matured me a bit spiritually to what that was. Can you guys think of it kind of like...

kind of like when and if I have any parents listening you know exactly what this is like but to me it was giving Allie had to go to kindergarten for the first day and I've always always felt right next to my parents like I've always been home with my parents because I was freaking you know baby to five years old right and so now Allie has to go to kindergarten for the first day

And it was like, I went from feeling that intense presence. Because the thing is, and actually it's funny because we just talked about this in church today, that there's actually different levels of the presence of God, right? Right.

And a couple episodes ago, we talked about why we pray and what the benefits are to prayer. And one of the things that we listed off in that episode was prayer invites the Holy Spirit and it invites the Spirit of God. It invites Jesus in the room, right? Yeah.

And sometimes like that alone can kind of sound confusing because then you're like, but wait, I thought Jesus was with us all the time. I thought God was present all the time, everywhere, all at once, which is true. But there's different levels of his presence. And y'all know the presence of God. Like I know he's here. He's here, right? He's here all the time. And you know, when you're a believer and you have a relationship with Jesus, you know that he's with you all the time. But it's that like, hey,

heavy feeling of presence though, where you literally feel like he has his arm around you. Do you know what I mean? But that's different, right? That's different than the feeling of like, oh yeah, God's with me all the time. But then it's like, you feel him sitting across the room, right? In a way where it's like, oh my gosh, my dad is here, you know? And so I feel like that is

was what I was experiencing because I was so I still am very new in my journey okay but I was like so brand new in my journey that I was feeling that heavy presence of the Lord a lot because it was new for me and I was like oh

I mean, I was in it. I was manifesting and requesting the heavy presence of God all the time because it was like the other thing about God that's so cool. And I don't know, maybe this is a little controversial. I don't think it is. I believe that this is why we love we crave that feeling of being drunk as humans or being high.

is because we're trying to fill this feeling that God gives us already. I'm not saying I feel drunk when I'm with the Lord, and I don't even know what it feels like to be high, because I've never been high in my life, but when you feel that sense of presence of the Lord, it literally feels like a high. Like, His love is

is so addictive. It is the best thing you will ever feel ever. There is no drug. There is no bottle of wine. There is no tequila shot. There's no type of tequila vodka, nothing in this world that could compare to the feeling of the love of God. And like the cool thing is, is that that's actually only a sliver. Like the love that we feel for God is

And the love that we feel from God here on earth is just a sliver compared to what it feels like in heaven. I can't even imagine. I don't even think our bodies could handle it. I think that's why our bodies don't come with it. Because I think our bodies would literally just turn to dust. Because it's like that intense and that beautiful and that good. But it literally...

becomes addictive in such a great way because it's like what better thing to be addicted to than Jesus I mean he literally can restore every part of your heart and soul that's the best thing to become addicted to and so that's what I think I was going through is I was feeling that super intense very present

feeling of the Lord to then not feeling it. And it's funny because I got a couple comments on that video of people who were like, God is more than a feeling. And at first I didn't get that because I was like, what do you mean? I feel him all the time. But it's true. Like I felt like I was so new in my journey that the only way that I could feel God's presence was through that intensity of presence. Does that make sense?

So when I didn't feel that intense presence, I was like, what's wrong? I was like, something's broken. I'm broken. I'm drowning. I was like full Peter in the ocean.

when Jesus was walking on water and he told him to get out of the boat in Matthew, I was Peter freaking out. Like I literally just looked over, started drowning and was like, oh my gosh, like I absolutely psyched myself out because I think I thought at that time that that was the true feeling of the presence of God. But it's just a form of feeling of the presence of God. There are so many other levels and intensity levels

of feeling God's presence, right? But because I wasn't feeling that intense, like bring you to your knees, drop you to the ground, bawling my eyes out anymore, I thought something was wrong, you know? So anyway, I love that. And I kind of learned a little bit more about that today too, because we just talked about it in church the day I'm recording now. I know it's not Sunday, it's Friday for you guys, but...

So yes, God's presence is around all the time, all at once. He's with you right now. But there's also those moments of feeling that intense, intense presence. So I don't know. I really wanted to kind of mention that because I don't know if that's relatable at all. I don't know if you guys struggle with that, where if you're a new believer or maybe not,

you know, where you're like, something's wrong if you don't feel that intense presence. But I don't think that that means anything's wrong. I just think that, you know, we experience different levels and different types of presence of God, you know? Yeah.

now if what I'm saying right now like with me describing that type of presence of the Lord if you've never felt that before I think that there are a few things I'm going to tell you a few things that I did that I believe is the reason why I could get to that level of feeling the legit presence of God in my home right because some of you guys might be like I don't know if I've actually experienced that you know like Allie's talking about this and she's talking about it like the feeling of dropping to her knees and weeping and

I don't know if I've ever felt that before, you know. Obviously, if you have, you understood what I meant. But I want to speak to anybody who maybe hasn't. And I want you to know that it doesn't mean God loves you any less. It doesn't mean that he doesn't want that for you. Like he wants a very intimate relationship with you. He wants an intimate relationship like that with every single one of us. I think the biggest thing that I did right was

in my journey especially in the beginning and what I still try to do now is I have brought the most vulnerable stripped away heart to God I think I've completely gone to him saying fix me just fix me

When I went to God, I just completely let go of everything I ever thought I knew. All of the independence, all of the you can do it on your own, all of the women can do everything better and I can be this big, strong, independent woman, which I do believe I am still very strong and independent and I'm very proud to be a woman, but I had a different mindset before Jesus. I had a

that like super feminist feminism kind of mentality where I was like I can do it all on my own I can fix my own heart and I've healed from everything and you know men have hurt me but they're trash and I'm better you know and I I had an ego I had an ego and I feel like I had an ego out of what I thought was protecting myself and

But in reality, I wasn't protecting myself at all. I was hurting myself even more by putting on this act like I could do everything on my own and fix my own heart. And I had lied to myself and said that I had forgiven people from my past and, you know, past romantic relationships and stuff. And that was just not true. That was not true. And so I think the best thing I did was I finally gave all of that up. And I said, you know what? I don't want any of this.

I don't want any of this. I can't do it by myself. And I just came to him so desperate. I really think that it takes like desperation, like heavy desperation. Like I need you fix me. And if you aren't at the place of desperation where you are willing to put aside everything like your ego, your pride, I mean everything.

other people in your life you know maybe you're in a relationship right now and you kind of you low-key idolize that person before God you know you put that person before your faith you put that person first before all things like if you are not at a place of complete desperation where you're like God I need to be fixed and I need you like I need you you will never feel that sense of intense presence and relationship with God I just believe that that's the reason why I did you know I

had prayed to him, you know, I've shared my testimony. I had a relationship with God, kind of. Not really, though, because I wasn't giving up those things. So I think step one was desperation and humility and just being like, I'm giving you my entire freaking heart. Like, I'm done doing this by myself. I think the other thing, too, is getting rid of distractions. Like, I legit, and I think that the Lord did this so strategically, but

When I moved out to la you guys know that's when I found the lord and that's when I really truly started to take him Seriously, like I was done with the wishy-washy. I was done with just praying for him here or there I was like no i'm in i'm like in

I'm going to take God just as seriously as I've taken all my boyfriends and any other relation, whatever, you know, any other intimate relationship you've had. You go all in with that, right? That person is who you think about when you first wake up. That person is who you think about when you go to bed at night. That should be God for you, right? That should be Jesus. So that's what I said. I said, I'm all in. I had so much alone time with Jesus and I

A lot of that helped with being in an entirely new city all by myself. You know, I moved to L.A. and I think this was completely planned and premeditated by the Lord. But I had a couple friends, you know, but the first few months of me living there, I was like legit.

legit with Jesus in my kitchen every day. It was just me and him playing worship music, studying the Bible, you know, watching sermons on YouTube, like truly was just absolutely burying myself and just absorbing Jesus and his wisdom and his love and his compassion. Like I didn't even understand the depths of his love.

Until I got so alone with him. And so the other thing is, is like if you're not turning off everything around you, you just aren't going to feel his presence like that, you know? So I think, like I said, it takes complete desperation, putting aside of your ego, being alone with him one-on-one every day, by the way.

There was another note that I made in church today this morning where I wrote down and I had this kind of like revelation with God the other day is that you need a new flame every day from him. You need a new fire. You need a new spark. You need new from God.

Every single day. This isn't like a, I'm going to church once a week and I'll be good all week. No, you need new oil. You need new living water every day from God.

And so I really think that that was another reason why I just got so infatuated with him and loving him and understanding him more and so quickly because I was prioritizing being with him every day, you know? And so I think that's another mistake that we make as Christians. I still actively make this mistake, guys. Like that's why I had this revelation with the Lord the other day because he was like, I heard him say that to me. And then today's message at church just like

backed it up even more, but we need new every day because every day has its obstacles. Like every day looks different, right? There's not, not normally does one day look identical to the day before there's new challenges, there's new obstacles, there's new events, there's just new things that happen to us every day. And so with that, we need more of Jesus every day.

Not every other day, not once a week, not even five days out of the week. No, like every single day you need Jesus. This isn't like he's going to fill up our cup on Monday and then that'll keep us hydrated until Thursday. No, it won't. You need that cup for the day. That is Monday's cup. And then the next day you need Tuesday's cup. You need Jesus daily.

Every day. And so I think that that's where we can feel that distance from him too is because we're like, well, what do you mean? I like, I prioritize him every week. It's like, you need to be with him every day. Not out of chore, not out of obligation, but because you need it to stay alive. Like spiritually, if you want,

want that relationship with Jesus, if you want that intimate, which he does, he's so excited to have that with you, but you cannot have the mentality of, I'll read my Bible like every three days. That's fine. You have to read it every day. And that's not out of religion. That's not out of law. That's not out of like, you must do this. It's to stay alive. It's

It's to stay alive spiritually, just like you have to eat every day. You can't be like, I'm going to have this huge meal today. I'm going to have this giant breakfast. It's like 2000 calories worth of food. It's going to be great. That's not going to last you till Thursday. I mean, I guess you'll be alive, but you'll be feeling pretty numb. You'll be feeling pretty tired. You'll be feeling pretty fatigued. You'll be feeling pretty weak.

I mean, we got to look at Jesus like we look at food and water for our souls, though. I'm preaching to myself right now. I'm preaching to all of us, y'all. This ain't even me. This is God. He's preaching to all of us, including myself, because I'm guilty of it, too. But it is most likely that you are going to feel your healthiest and your bestest

You're going to have the best energy when you are eating all three of your meals and they're healthy and they're not like fast food, right? This is an analogy I'm giving right now, but it's also very real, right? This is something I've like really messed up with sometimes where I just like don't prioritize the nutrition I'm putting in my body. And I think that was a really...

It's been an awakening and the Lord has really revealed that to me too, that I just need to be an adult and start cooking meals for myself and prioritizing cooking meals for myself like every day, you know, and eating healthy because, yeah, sure, you can put food in your stomach, but if it's garbage, right?

And it just makes you feel full, but it's not actually giving your body nutrition. You're going to feel like garbage. I mean, like you're going to feel like the garbage you're eating. If you are not feeding yourself spiritually with the good stuff, which is, by the way, the Bible. It's the word.

And it's being in the presence of God and inviting him in the room. That's the good food. That's the nutritional food, you know? And the other thing that I've learned too in my walk is that listening to worship music isn't enough. Listening to sermons isn't enough.

There is nothing that will fulfill that feeling. There is nothing that will get you out of the lukewarm other than the Bible, the word of God and his presence. That's it.

Like that's the other thing I've learned is that, you know, maybe I won't pick up the Bible for a few days, but I'll listen to my worship music and I'll listen to a really fire sermon. It does not matter. Like you need to, even this y'all, this podcast episode should just be the cherry on top to your time with the Lord. This should not be the foundation core main ingredient to your time with Jesus. And if it is, I'll be the first one to tell you that

God does not approve. I love that this podcast could be a part of your routine to spend time with Jesus.

And it can be like your worship music. It can be like your sermon, you know, that you listen to that day. But it cannot be your Jesus time. Your Jesus time has to be you and Jesus in a room reading the word of God. Like that is how you stay on fire for the Lord. That's how you stay lit for God. That's how you stay on track with him. And that's how you avoid lukewarmness or that feeling of like,

Why don't I feel him? What's going on? I literally feel numb. Like, I don't feel stoked about God. I don't feel like, why am I not joyful? Why am I not grateful? Like, honestly, you need to be reading your Bible. And so, and it shouldn't be just a thing that you do every, like, once every few days. So anyway, I'm repeating myself, but you get it, right? Like, there's all the great things that...

That I honestly just keep thinking of a cake in my head. I just think of a cake where it's like God, the word of God in the Bible is the cake, right? The icing is worship music. The sprinkles on top, the decoration is Christ with coffee on ice with alios and the cherry on top is cake.

Your favorite sermon or more worship music or going to church. Actually, yeah, going to church should also be a cherry on top. That should not be the core of your Jesus time. That should just be an extra thing.

Thing that like makes the cake really scrumptious, but the cake is God the cake is the word, right? so actually if there were any steps that I would say on how To become closer to God or how to remain close to God is to read and study the Bible guys That's that's step one. That is the cake right step one in making your cake the batter is

that we're baking in the oven, that is reading and studying the Bible. Another thing that I do believe that, you know, helped me with being so on fire for the Lord is prayer. You know, we talked a lot about that a couple weeks ago, but talking to God and just making him a part of every part of your day and praying to him all the time

is so important. But I would put that at number two. I still wouldn't put that before reading the word, you know, because there have been times where I've been in my journey and in my walk where I've been praying a lot, you know, and you guys, you guys know that feeling where you're like, you're like, I'm praying to him all the time. You know, I'm, I'm talking to him all the time. Why don't I feel him? Why, why don't I feel the presence of God? Because we're not putting reading the Bible. Number one, prayer should not come before reading the word.

I think reading the word is priority number one and prayer comes next. Hand in hand, they work beautifully together too, you know? Like if you start reading the word so much that you know scripture and then you start using scripture in your prayers, bro, hand in hand, that's beautiful. I think another thing that would really help anyone who feels like they're stuck in like a lukewarm or again, if maybe you're just starting your journey and you don't know how to become on fire for the Lord is

or you felt the feeling of being on fire for the Lord and now you don't know how to get out, you know, because you're in this rut. Sometimes I think that the spirit of religion, like if I'm speaking to somebody who's known the Lord for a long time, like even much longer than myself here, sitting here, right? Let's say you've known Jesus for five years, 10, 15, whatever. Sometimes I feel like

that rut that you can get into when you're familiar with Jesus and you've known him for a long time, you know, or he's maybe been a part of your life since the very beginning, you know, like my testimony is very different than somebody else who's like, well, I grew up in the church, you know, so I've always known Jesus from the beginning. That's very different. And, um,

I think that it's probably easy for somebody who's known Jesus their whole life to kind of fall into that rut and that spirit of religion where it's just become a part of your routine. And it's kind of lost. He's kind of lost his value in that, which is awful to say. But I think that's very realist. Like, that's a thing, you know.

Okay, wait, y'all, this is actually fire. I did not realize that today's sermon was going to tie in so much about with this topic that we're talking about. This is so God. Okay, so what I wrote, which was a note that I took from my pastor, he said that a religious spirit wants to make you stuck, wants to keep you in that place of lukewarm or just feeling stuck, not feeling like you're

you feel the presence of God, right? God is dependable, but not predictable. As long as you're following the real Jesus, you won't get stuck forever. Meaning, God is dependable and he is there all the time. I love this word that my pastor said, I can't even take credit for this, that God is dependable and he is there all the time, right? He is there in every part of your routine. He is there all day, every day, right? But he is not predictable, which

Which means if you are pursuing the Lord truly, wholeheartedly, and you are prioritizing the word, right? You're prioritizing prayer. You're prioritizing relationship with him every single day. And you are present when you're reading the word, right? You're taking notes. You're studying it. You're absorbing it. He's dependable and he'll be there for us every single day, but he is not predictable. Like,

For us to get in this rut and like a part of just our routine where Jesus is just there is acting as if we already know his next move. It's kind of giving like, yeah, and then tomorrow he'll do the same thing and he'll love me and he'll give me grace. And, you know, he sacrificed his life for us. And, you know, I'm going to acknowledge that every day like I always do. But it is giving a religious spirit where it's like you're just doing the same thing every day like he's predictable, but he's not. So if you're really, truly pursuing Jesus,

wholeheartedly every single day life with him is so fun and could literally could never get boring because he's not predictable and sometimes I feel like in our journey we hate that you know like there are so many parts where we're in these waiting seasons or we're in these in-betweens where we don't know what God's gonna do because he's not predictable

you know, we know he's dependable and we know what he's capable of. And we know, we even know that he's going to come through for us. We just don't know how or when or where, right? He's not predictable. And so sometimes I feel like even in our journeys, we get frustrated that we can't predict what God's going to do. But also if he was predictable, don't you think it would be more likely that we would fall even more into those ruts of, of

of just routine. Like if God was predictable, there's a good chance a lot more of us would become lukewarm because we just, we would know his next move. Yeah.

And then it's giving, okay, and whatever. Like because God isn't predictable is a way that it actually can keep us even more on fire for him. Because when we see him show up in our life in a way that we could have never seen coming because that's how he operates, he's mind blowing, right? So he moves in our life. He makes something happen. We see a miracle. We see the way that the puzzle pieces came together from years and years and years ago, right? We see what God has done in all this time.

because he's brought this blessing into our life finally. And we go, oh, and then that is how you stay on fire for the Lord. Like that would light me up. And that's happened to me already in my life, right? Like we know that God shows up for us. And when he blesses us and we see the way that he works miracles in our life, or he answers like just simple prayers, even our small prayers, our big prayers, all of it. When we see him do that in a way that we definitely couldn't have predicted because nobody can predict what God does.

That keeps us on fire. Like that is what keeps us on fire as well. I think another thing that can cause us to be lukewarm or feel distant from the Lord is wanting to be in control. Sometimes we might not even realize it, that we're doing it. But even as Christians, even when we fully surrendered to God a million times in our lifetime already, we still fall to our human default to want to try to control things and do things on our own.

And I believe that that can cause lukewarmness. Like that can cause distance between you and God, not because God is removing himself. You know, sometimes we want to just look at God and say, God, why are you distancing yourself from me? I'm praying. I'm doing all the right things as a Christian. You know, I'm prioritizing you. I've surrendered to you. But it's like, but have you though? Because there could be things in your life that you are still

trying to control on your own and you are not giving it to God and that will cause distance between you and the Lord if you are putting your own plans your own power your own ego right and again sometimes we don't even realize that we're doing it and then we turn around we go oh my gosh I'm

I'm trying to control that thing again. Oh my gosh, I'm trying so hard to find my future spouse and I'm doing it again. I need to just give it to God. And the cool thing about God is he has grace. So it doesn't matter how many times we need to reel it back in. He's never going to abandon us. But he definitely didn't remove himself. He's not...

stepping further away from you. It's that we are stepping further away from him by trying to control things on our own, but also still hiding behind, oh no, no, but I trust God and his whole plan. Do you though? Because why do you still feel this urge to control it on your own? And why are you still trying to act on your own? You know, that will cause distance between you and God. Another thing that I realized earlier in my journey was that,

obviously makes us further from the Lord and

So if there's something in your life that you know is sinful, but you're still, you know, doing all the things you're supposed to do as a Christian, you could still feel that lukewarmness or that distance from God. And actually, I had sinned. There were habits that I had right before I knew the Lord and things that I didn't even know were a sin and things that still would roll over into my relationship with God where now I have this sin and this way that I was living before I knew Jesus and

And now I know Jesus and some of those things are still rolling over into it. And now I'm feeling really icky and I feel like I actually don't even want to face God. And I felt really embarrassed and ashamed of it. But that's the cool thing about God is he already has predicted that we would feel that way because he knows us and he knows how he's created us and everything.

He's given us these emotions, right? So he knows that we're going to feel these things. And that's why he reassures us even in scripture that we have nothing to be ashamed of, you know, that he has enough forgiveness and grace in his heart to restore us from that. But the thing that we need to do is we definitely need to admit when we're wrong. We need to admit when we've sinned and we need to ask him for forgiveness. But you have nothing to ever be ashamed of with

with facing God in sin. But sin is something that will put a wedge between you and God. So if there's something in your life that you have not been willing to give up, whether that's drinking, whether that's being in secular environments where you're going out to the bars and you're listening to certain music, you're hanging out with certain people, I mean all of those types of things will cause that lukewarmness. It doesn't matter how much

you know, you're in your Bible. You can't have one foot fully in with the Lord and one foot fully in on the other side of that line, which is in the world, you know? And so I learned that so quick. When I started to become real close with the Lord and then I would be going out and I'd be doing all these things that I was not proud of,

I felt that conviction so heavy. I felt the conviction so hard that I, like I said, I almost didn't even want to look at God. And I was so embarrassed. I remember there was one time where I, it was like, this was it. This was, this was it for me where I was like, you know what, God, I think I feel like this because you're telling me that I'm not supposed to be doing it. And I feel awful that I even did it in the first place. You know, like, I just feel so bad. I know that you don't want this for me. And I'm embarrassed. Like, who am I to be embarrassed?

to just, you know, be jumping up and down and preaching about how much I love you. And then I turn around and I do something that would just break your heart. You know, you just feel that guilt like it's real. And I remember I had this moment. This was the last this was the last time I ever participated in this type of, you know, habits or behavior. And I just felt his warmth in that moment. I literally felt

I just told him how I felt. I said, God, I feel bad. I feel guilty. I feel ashamed. I feel unworthy. I feel dirty. I feel like a disappointment. I feel like I let you down. I feel like I have...

gotten so far in my faith and I've been so productive and then I feel like I just took three steps back you know like y'all that's so real and the thing is is like and this is another example I'm gonna give from the bible when Jesus was crucified and he was dying on the cross okay Peter Peter in the bible the man who was like I mean he literally sliced off a man's ear and

when they were trying to take Jesus, you know, to crucify him, literally sliced a man's ear off and said, you're not taking Jesus. Like, this is how much he loved Jesus. He would literally have died for Jesus, Peter, you know. He had serious loyalty to God, you know. He was one of his disciples. He spent three years with Jesus, walking with Jesus, watching him literally perform miracles, watching him, right?

You know, think about us where we have a we have the spiritual relationship with Jesus, but they had a physical relationship with Jesus, too. You know, so Peter had denied ever knowing Jesus three times while Jesus was being crucified. And then obviously Jesus dies. He you know, he raises from the dead. And then Peter goes right back to his old ways.

back to fishing, which is where Jesus found him on the shore. He said, I'm going to go back and be a fisherman and go back to my old life. Right. And decides that he just wants to leave it all behind. I'm sure it was because he felt ashamed, you know, kind of like that same feeling that we feel when we sin or when we turn our back on Jesus or when we deny him. You know, we just it's easier probably to just go back to what we've always known and

and he's probably could never forgive us anyway so we're just gonna go back to what we always know and after jesus has had resurrected he went out to the shore and met peter there

After everything, after Peter had denied ever knowing Jesus as he was suffering on the cross, right? I mean, that is how much grace Jesus has. And he will meet us even if we go back to our old ways, even if we're tempted to go back, even if we're ashamed, even if we've convinced ourselves that he can never forgive us. He has already forgiven you and he will meet you right back.

Back there or wherever you are. He will always meet you there. He will never give up on you There is no no like three times and you're out like there is no limit To how much he loves us and is willing to forgive us. That's why he died on the cross like that That's why he did it. That's how big his love is and that isn't something to take advantage of either That isn't something to say. Okay. Well, I can just sin tonight and it'll be fine. Jesus will forgive me. No No

That's so dangerous. Don't do that. But I'm saying that in a way where it's like when you know that you just fall short and you fall to your flesh and it's freaking weak and you're not perfect, right? He will always meet you there.

But guys, imagine that. Like, imagine being Peter who physically knew Jesus and he could still deny Jesus and turn his back on everything he ever experienced with God and went back to his old ways. Like, you don't need to feel so ashamed and so guilty. Honestly, that alone just shows your heart, you know? I don't even know how I got on this tangent. Somebody's got to be, I mean, there must be a reason. Somebody must need to hear this right now.

But we feel so guilty when we turn our backs on Jesus or when we sin or when we, you know, have our faults with just simply having a spiritual relationship with him. But then when we look at people in the Bible who physically knew him and did the same thing, physically knew him in real life, hugged Jesus, literally got to look him in the eye, right?

and they were capable of doing it too, just shows you that we don't change as humans. You know, so everything that you're feeling right now, you're not alone in. Like any guilt that you feel with the Lord, any feeling that you've disappointed him, every single Christian in the world living now, in the past, and in the future probably,

has felt that or will feel that. You're not alone in that. That's so real. And that's why God's grace is infinite. That's why his love is infinite, because he knows his children and he knows that we're going to fall short, you know? But I was starting to say that, you know, if you have a guilty heart, though, and you feel ashamed and you're

you feel regret from making mistakes or committing sin you know I think that just shows your heart and that's the other thing that that's what I was going to say too because obviously you know you don't want to just sin because you know God has endless amount of grace that's

not very right and that's a little you can't take advantage of god that's not okay you know but the thing is is that if you're feeling those things of guilt though that just shows your heart and that's one thing that god knows is that he knows your heart and so he knows that your heart is coming from a place of genuinely feeling awful and making a mistake and you never wanted to do it but you did it and now you feel awful like he knows your heart in that rather than somebody premeditating a

Okay, I'm going to go out and sin tonight, but it's fine. I'll just ask God for forgiveness the next morning. Like he literally hears all those thoughts in that person's brain as they're doing that. He knows their heart in that. And their heart in that is, I'm going to have my cake and eat it too. I'm going to do what I want. I'm going to sin. I'm going to do all the things that make me feel good.

And then I'm just going to ask God for forgiveness and then we're going to be all good. And I can just dab him up and say, see you next Friday. Like, that's not cool. But God knows that. Right. So anyway, side tangent about feeling guilty about sin. I don't know. Maybe that could have been a whole freaking episode on itself. But yes, so sin does keep distance, you know, that that does make you distant from God. So.

So, you know, I don't know if any of you guys are struggling with something that you know God doesn't want for you, that you know God has better for you in that way. That could be a reason that you're feeling like you can't really get a strong relationship with him or you don't have one anymore or you can't. It's not stronger than it was a few years ago, you know?

I think that would be pretty high up there on the list too of just you know obeying god It's like reading the word of god prioritizing the bible praying and obeying god I mean if you're doing all of those things genuinely wholeheartedly every single day I do not see how you could ever get lukewarm, you know because I feel like any time that i'm lukewarm is because one of those Things are missing or not being prioritized enough. I

Another thing too that I think that we forget, and granted, I know that I said that it was just me and Jesus in the beginning of our journey. And I do think that was very strategic of the Lord. And I think it was important. You know, there were times where I was like, I definitely was feeling pretty lonely in my faith because I was like, God, where's my, like, I don't have any real good friends out here that love Jesus. And also, you know, it does get lonely when you're just like,

fighting against your flesh and fighting against just, I don't know, like just kind of dying to yourself. That sounds really dramatic, especially if you're a new Christian. I'm sorry if that scares you. It shouldn't scare you. It really is just another way of saying how to unlearn all that you ever have known, which is just the world, right? So it can get lonely for sure. The thing that's brought me out of a lot of lukewarmness too sometimes is

is just getting around people who love Jesus. And I know that that's a topic that is hard for some people because there could be a lot of y'all who are listening that are like, I don't have that, right? But bro, pray about it. You need to pray about that heavy and you need to be willing to put yourself in situations where you can meet people who love Jesus. So please, yes, you need to go to church and you also need to go to church and stick around and

and introduce yourself to people and don't just bolt out the doors after the service is over I've been guilty of that too and I've never made friends that way I only have made friends at church because I stick around and I talk to people and actually this was really admirable of a girl last week she just came up to us at church and she was like hey I'm new here I just moved to Nashville a week ago and this is my first time this is my name so bold so scary but that

That's what you have to do. And the thing is, is like church should be the safest place that you could go without anyone judging you. You know, like if these people truly have Jesus in their heart, they should not be judging you at all. If anything, they should be welcoming you with open arms and loving you. And so that is something that is so important too, is like getting yourself around people who love Jesus too. You don't have to fight this fight by yourself. And actually God advises us not to. Like,

over and over again. He tells us that we are not supposed to be fighting this battle of life with just him and only him. I mean, he is all we need. So worst case scenario, like my journey was in LA where I didn't really have anybody and I was going to church, but I wasn't really like connecting with people deeply. You know, I had some friends there, but I didn't have like

friends, you know, at church yet. I also didn't live there long enough to like really get any. I wasn't really prioritizing church until a few months into my journey, you know. So it was like more like five or six months that I was prioritizing church. And even in the beginning, I was kind of doing that bolting thing where I would just leave.

And so, yes, God is all you need. Like, first and foremost, he is all you need. So when you do feel alone, you're not because you have him. But you really need to be in community. You really need to be in community and you need to pray about it. And I want y'all, if you're somebody who's struggling with that, I want y'all to not just pray the prayer of, God, I pray that you give me Christian friends. Amen.

You say, God, I pray for the Christian friends that you have planned for me, Jesus. I know that you have a community for me. I know that you have friends for me. I know that you have a church family for me, God. And I pray that you bring them into my life, God. I have faith in that. But Jesus, I also pray that you give me the courage to put myself in situations, God. I want to abide to you, God. I want to do whatever I'm supposed to do through you to connect with these people.

Right. Because too many times I feel like we fall into prayer of just being like, OK, God, and like, I want this and, you know, make it happen. Love you. You know, there is a fine line between obviously, like I said, us taking things into our own control and trying to do it all on our own and then completely sitting back and being like, God will do it, which he will. But also we need to pray and say, but God, if I'm supposed to be taking any action, I'm

I pray that you reveal that to me, God. I pray that you give me a vision. You give me a word. You speak to me and you tell me exactly what I'm supposed to be doing, God. If you see a flyer for like a young adults group in a coffee shop or something, God, give me the eyes to see whatever I'm supposed to see, God. Give me the ears to hear it, Jesus. I pray that you speak to me in a moment where if I'm just standing in line randomly with somebody and I'm supposed to converse with them because they're actually supposed to be my best friend and they just so coincidentally, right?

go to the same church as me like i don't know but god i just pray that i have an open heart and an open mind god give me that in your mighty name jesus i need that to receive the plan that you have for me to meet my community god and i pray that you guide me to do whatever i need to do to be available and put myself in position to meet these people that will be my community one day like who

I mean, we talked about this in our prayer episode as well, y'all. But like, we got to dig deep in our prayers. We got to get specific with the Lord, right? We're not just going to say, God, I want Christian friends. Love that. He knows that. And that's really good.

It's good that we're talking to him about that, but let's get deeper. Let's say, God, put me in the situations. And if I need to put myself in those situations through your strength, God, give me that strength, please. Give me that courage to go to church alone and then approach somebody and introduce myself to them. Guys, you can do it. You can do it. It's scary. I know I'm scared of it too, but you can do it, especially when you have Jesus by your side.

you know, but community is so important when it comes to being in ruts in your faith, in your journey with God, because a lot of times too, your community will see something that you're doing, right? That you don't even realize you can, the,

thing is about having community that's so fun is that these people love Jesus so there's no judgment right and they they love you like Jesus loves you so they're going to give you the honest truth because they also know the Lord and they hear from the Lord too which is really fun so if you're not hearing God in a

So many times me and my friend Ashley Hetherington, y'all know her. Ashley and I do this all the time where we'll be like, dude, I got to confess something. This is how I'm feeling. And we will be honest with each other because that's what God encourages us to do in scripture as well, is to be honest and confess something.

to each other and the community, right? Whoever that is, it's the church, it's your best friends, you know, but confess to them and tell them, hey, I am feeling lukewarm, you know, and then that person can be like, okay, like what can I do to help you in this, you know, and they'll pray with you. There's so much power in prayer, right?

Again, truly, I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my father in heaven for where two or three are gathered in my name. I am there among them. That's Matthew 18, 19 through 20. That's God. That's Jesus talking about when we are together, two or three or more, when two or three or more of people's.

are together and you're praying, Jesus is listening and he is there, right? There's power in prayer alone, but then there's power in prayer with people too. So if you feel like you're in a rut, if you feel like you're in this weird funk, literally confess it to your church family and they will help you. They will pray you out of that. They will give you feedback. They will get visions from the Lord. There could be people who have the gift of

prophecy where they're like, you know what, Allie, you were telling me about this rut and I heard God tell me this and he uses them as a vehicle or a vessel to speak to you to help you with that. Does that make sense? So I think community is so important, y'all. And I've just learned that in the last few months, it's been a beautiful thing for me to experience because so far, like the first year of my journey with the Lord, I didn't really have a community. You know, I just kind of went to church and then would go home.

So anyway, I encourage you guys through all of it. And I really hope that this episode helped you guys through any of these feelings of feeling distant from the Lord or lukewarm. But I love you guys. And yeah, I loved this episode. This was really great.

I hope that you guys could bring something from it. I love you. Get your noses in your Bible, please. Spend time with the Lord and just be still with him. I've had this Bible verse hanging in my room for years. Actually, it was the very first tattoo I ever got tattooed on my body. It's Exodus 14, 14. And it reads...

The Lord will fight for you. You need only to be still. But oh my gosh, how many times does he tell us to just be still, you know, and just be alone with him? So anyway, I encourage you guys in that. And actually, guys, can we do something real quick this week? Can we just show somebody why Jesus is so cool? Can we all walk a little bit more like Jesus, have a little bit more of his grace, a little bit more of his love, a little bit more of his small talk? Like, you know, if Jesus was sitting on that bus, he'd be small talking with the person next to him. Like, just converse with people, you know, like...

The cool thing about knowing God is knowing that like whoever's in front of you or next to you or behind you, he loves. So talk to people. Spread his freaking kindness, right? I love you guys so much. Thank you for tuning in and I will see you guys next week. Bye.

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