i still feel guilty.
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Big Carl just one-upped itself for just one buck. Then buy one Big Carl, get one for a buck deal. Only at Carl's Jr. Get burger. Available for a limited time at participating restaurants. Tax not included. Price may vary. Not valid with any other offer, discount, or combo. Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Christ with Coffee on Ice. I am your host, Allie Yost. Happy Friday, everybody. How are we feeling? How are

How are we feeling? Guys, I'm kind of sad. We're getting near the end of season three. Our goal is for each season to be about 15 episodes. And I think we're on episode 12. There is a fly in my house. And I tried so deeply to let him out of a door or to just...

unfortunately end his life and it's neither options are really working so if you guys see a fly flying around just mind your business I'm so sorry he's our guest for this episode yeah season three is almost over that's crazy y'all I feel like we got through this season like so fast like

We didn't get through this season. Like, it just went by so fast. But I'm really grateful for the way that the Lord has been moving in this season. And I also have some other really exciting news. If you're physically watching, you can already tell. But we are back with our normal couch. We have our orange couch back. And we are in our home, you guys. Ashley and I made that episode about us taking...

a major leap of faith and just being bold and listening to the Lord's voice and moving out here to Los Angeles and We have been in an Airbnb for The first month of us living here. And so now we do have a house and that is where I'm filming right now we have all of our furniture back and I'm just like Unbelievably grateful for the way that the Lord has delivered everything we've needed It's been really cool to see how quickly he's doing it like

we didn't really have any crazy expectations that he would be delivering it very, we're, you know, when, when it's the Lord's timing, of course we ask for it quickly, but we, we don't always know if it's actually going to come as quickly as we desire it. Right. So that's when just trusting his timing does come into play. So of course we wanted it to come quickly. And of course we didn't want to have to jump from Airbnb to Airbnb, but

we also were willing to do that if that was God's will for us, but we didn't have to do that. And he delivered our home and it's beautiful. And I have this perfect little nook in the house where I can film and where my couch just fits perfectly. And it just feels perfect. It feels so perfect from God. Like,

God is real. Bye. God is so real. I'm really grateful that the podcast has a permanent home in place. We will not be changing locations anymore, hopefully. We also have some really exciting things coming for the pod and I can't say anything just yet, but things are just happening for this podcast and I feel so blessed because we've been doing this for a little under a year. I don't know, has it been like eight or nine months now? Maybe eight months and this

There are just some big things that are happening for the pod and i'm very excited and I think You guys are going to be seeing a lot of that or at least a majority of the things that we have planned in season four so Be prepared for season four. I'm really excited for the newness. Yeah, it's just giving next level for the pod So I am really excited for you guys to see what that is And i'm just so grateful that you guys are on this journey with me and we get to just kind of

do this together as a big fam. I have my iced coffee in my little Air One. Well actually, Ashley, Ashley so deeply wanted these Air One glasses, so I think they were originally filled with like almond milk or something and now we're keeping the glasses. So I have my iced coffee in a little Air One glass because we live in California now. I do want to share with you guys a little story that happened to me yesterday because this was like the craziest warfare I've ever experienced.

And I almost wanted to share it on my Instagram and my stories, but I just am prepared for people to be like thinking that I'm crazy because I'd be making everything spiritual. But also y'all, we rebuke the fear of man now in Jesus name. We rebuke that we are not fearful of man. Everything low key is spiritual. I don't know. I just like everything really is. And what I went through yesterday, it just had to be from the pits of hell. Do you know what I mean? Like there are just things that happen to us and I'm like, there's just no way that

There's just no way it wasn't. Sorry to the men who are listening. By the way, we do have some men listeners and I'm obsessed with that. Hi guys. I love men. I love women and I love men. So if you're a man and you're listening, you are still welcome in this conversation. It's that time of the month for me, okay? Stop. Okay guys, let's just be serious. So I get it yesterday, okay? I was in the most excruciating pain I've ever experienced in my life. Now granted, I've been getting my period since I was like

I don't know. I think I was like 16 y'all or eight, like 17. I kind of got my period late in my life. Okay. It's been a good amount of time that I've been

experiencing this in womanhood. I couldn't imagine what childbirth pains could feel like if this was nothing like it because the way that I was in so much excruciating pain out of nowhere, okay, it was cramps, obviously. The pain was crippling. I was sweating. I thought I was going to pass out. It hurts so bad, you guys. And like I said, I get symptoms, okay? I've definitely cramped and I've definitely had painful cramps, but I've never had pain like this before.

Sorry if this is too much information, but like there's there's a word to this Okay, so I I am in so much pain and I'm home alone And we have a man here who had just gotten here like five minutes prior to help with our security and then we had another man here for Wi-Fi and they both showed up at the same time and then within five to ten minutes of them being here I'm in this type of pain at one point. I I felt like I was gonna puke Okay, guys, I thought I was gonna vomit and I'm like, I'm

I'm praying. I'm praying to God. And I'm like, God, I don't know what the freak is going on right now, but I need you. Like, Lord, I need your help. I don't know what's happening. I'm in so much pain. This feels like...

It felt evil. I can't explain it guys other than it felt evil. This wasn't just like a, "Oh, I have a tummy ache." Like it literally felt like it was being sent to me from the pits of hell. It felt so demonic. I go in the bathroom and I get sick. I'm in so much pain that I get sick. I've never experienced anything like this. This is weird for me. I'm Googling it and Google's like, "Yeah, that's normal." Like sometimes,

You know, period pains can be so painful that it does make women nauseous or actually vomit. So I'm like, okay, I know this is normal, but like something about it felt off y'all. So I'm calling Ashley cause she's was off working somewhere and I'm calling her and she's not picking up. I'm like, she's probably in a meeting. She's probably on a phone call. I'm texting her. I'm like, I really need prayer. Like I knew I needed more prayer than what I was doing for myself. I was like, I need...

Brother or a sister to go to war for me. I end up calling my best friend my other really good friend Karu He immediately picks up the phone and I'm like I'm on the verge of tears. I'm like Karu I need you right now. I need your help. Please pray for me There was another part of this y'all where I knew it was demonic and I knew it was warfare because this was also 15 minutes before I was supposed to be getting on a very important phone call that was giving major breakthrough for my business like can I be so honest and

The biggest breakthrough I've seen in over a year with my my what I'm doing It was a very important phone call and this was happening 15 minutes before I had to get on this call where it was huge huge huge breakthrough for me I know somebody can relate to that like when you're on the brink of breakthrough and you know something's about to happen and then something is just thrown in your way that feels like it's sent straight from Satan and you just look at that and you're like

Satan, you're really giving yourself away. Like it's just, it's obvious at that point, right? If that day was just a normal day, then maybe it was just like, I was just going through it, but it was just the timing of it all y'all. This is sus. Carew's going to war in the spirit. He's speaking scripture over me. He's just going to war praise. I love that man so much.

Going to war for me in the spirit, I could cry. I just had this peace that finally washed over me. Like it was scary. Like it was scary. The pain I was going through, especially being alone with two strange men in the house. Like I'm like, this is the worst scenario ever. And the peace that washed over me, I just felt my father be like, like,

I'm getting you through this. You know, like this is the definition of like any weapons formed against us will not prosper. They will not prosper. That is a promise from our father. So like we might feel the bullets. We might see the daggers coming at us, but like they will never prosper. As Karu was praying, it was like, I just felt this peace that washed over me and my cramps in

immediately subsided like the nausea went away like everything left and while he was in the middle of praying for me Ashley's calling me and she's texting me and she's like oh my gosh Allie I'm so sorry I'm praying for you now so like she's praying for me as well from afar and I just like felt this peace that washed over me and I say this because I've gotten this feedback from y'all okay I'm not saying this because I think I'm anything high and mighty and like whatever I say this because you guys have I've seen these comments where y'all have been like wow I like I

I don't know. Sometimes I look at you, Allie, and I look at your relationship with the Lord and I think it's perfect. Or like, I look at your journey and I'm like, there's no way that she struggles with these things. I do. It's real. It's just real. And I face it too. Like any of us who are spreading God's light, we're a target and we are...

the enemy to the enemy, like we're his worst nightmare, right? But I also share it for another reason as a testimony to how prayer is so powerful. Prayer was the thing that got me out of that pit, y'all. Prayer was the thing that got me out of that pit. Prayer is just so important, especially when you ask for help, like ask for prayer from people around you if you need it. If you really feel like you're in a pit and it doesn't even have to be anything like physical pain, like what I was going through, but even if it is,

even if it's any type of warfare, please ask people for prayer. It shouldn't be a burden to anybody. It's a joy for us to show up for each other. And God encourages that. God wants us to like band together and fight for each other and help each other through hard times. We're not supposed to just

fight off the demonic by ourselves, you know? We shouldn't just blame every inconvenience and hardship on the enemy. I think we've talked about that here on the pod. We shouldn't just use him as an excuse, right? But I'm telling you, like, there was just something evil about this experience. And in a weird way, guys, can I just say this? In

In a weird way, when we go through, ooh, this is a word. Are y'all ready for this? Okay. In a weird way, when I go through hell like that, okay, because it was, it was sent from hell. So I literally went through hell in that moment. When I go through moments like that, it's awful. And do I wish to go through it again? No, never. But what's really cool about what the Lord does is that when we face warfare or hardships in general, it's

I feel like it strengthens our love for him when we get to the other side of it. Does that make sense? Like, I don't resent the Lord. I'm not mad at him for making me go through it, like for allowing it. Because I know that he knew that I was going to look at him in a way that was even deeper than I did before I went through that. I really looked at God after that. And after Karu prayed for me, I was like, no.

no, God does overcome all evil. I was experiencing evil and then I saw how prayer and the power of the Holy Spirit overcame that evil and I was no longer in pain and I was feeling peace. How are we supposed to believe information

the power of the Holy Spirit and we hear the things about how you know he can overcome all evil all sin like everything death evil like he Overcomes it all how do we hear those words, but we don't actually witness it like if there was no hardships or no evil Afflicted on us, but there's something about seeing it. There's something about witnessing it. There's something about going through it There's something about feeling it

Like feeling the demonic and seeing it for what it is and then seeing how Jesus overcomes it all. I don't want to go through that again. I don't. But there is a part of me that's grateful for it because I got to see the goodness of God.

I got to witness the goodness of my father. Like if everything was good and dandy all day, forever and always, how would we know the goodness of God? Like it's almost like there has to be that contrast of like good and evil. If everything was just good and dandy all the time, how would we have a deeper appreciation for his goodness? It's like, it's almost like we have to taste darkness, I guess, and evil.

To really understand. It's an understanding and knowledge and wisdom that we get about our father from having to walk through the darkness. Does that make sense? Like that's the only way we're actually going to be able to like root the wisdom and knowledge is because we have a testimony now. And that's why it's like,

God emphasizes the power of a testimony. We should never not share our stories like I was even hesitant to share this story But it's a testimony of his goodness He fulfilled that promise to me that he's made to all of us that no weapons formed against us will prosper Hello, like that is so cool that we get to witness scripture happen. We witness scripture happen

Happen like that was scripture. That was his promise and I saw it yesterday and there's just something different about seeing it y'all we can believe it all we want and that's great, but there is something different from just experiencing it and walking through it. So

God is good, y'all. That's just a testimony I needed to share of his goodness and his faithfulness. Now that we're on the topic of God's goodness and his faithfulness, I want to talk about a topic that I know is relatable to every follower of the Lord that could be listening, that is listening. I feel like this is something that I have definitely struggled with, especially lately. I was struggling with it, but I really felt the Lord delivered me from it, and he reminded me of such a beautiful reality of God.

this topic and I want to share it with you guys because I really deeply believe that it's going to help free a lot of you guys from this and it's going to bring us back to reality and bring clarity to our minds again of the truth of the gospel and what Jesus did for us on the cross and what that means. There were so many things that the Lord did with dying on the cross, but this specifically is a major one and I want to talk about guilt.

as a Christian, guiltiness of our past though, guiltiness of sins that we had done, like BC versions of ourselves. If you are a born again Christian, um, and you lived a certain lifestyle outside of the Lord and you lived a very selfish life,

without Jesus being a part of it and you were just sinning left and right and you were doing whatever you wanted guys that was a life that I was living before Jesus and there have been so many temptations of going back and thinking about it and feeling guilty about it all over again even though I've already repented from it because I think that there's a difference of feeling guilt

about something that you haven't repented for and then feeling a guilt over something that you've already repented for and the Lord has already forgiven you from and delivered you from. If you're feeling guilt over something that you don't know if you've actually genuinely apologized to the Lord about and have repented,

Then the guilt is probably because you're guilty. Like you need to confess that and you need to be honest with the Lord, right? We talked about this a couple episodes ago with how important repentance is and that it is literal freedom and the Lord wants to take it from you. Okay. He wants to take that burden and he wants to just forgive you and he forgets it. Like that's scripture that the Lord forgives us and he forgets our sins.

An example of this is in Jeremiah 31, 34, and it reads, no longer will they teach their neighbor or say to one another, know the Lord, because they will all know me from the last of them to the greatest. This is it, y'all. Listen, for I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more. The other thing that's really important to remember about this is that it's not that the Lord has short-term memory loss.

It's not that the Lord doesn't remember all things, or at least he can't remember all things. God doesn't just forgive. He chooses to not remember. Y'all, there's something about that word chooses. He makes a choice to not remember it. And I believe that that choice is rooted from his grace.

his mercy because he actually has so much mercy for us y'all it's more than we can imagine he has more mercy than any person here on the earth he is more just than any person here on earth he has so much compassion and forgiveness for us that he chooses to forget it hey guys how's it going are we loving this pod episode is it our favorite is it absolutely blessing us

Thanks, God. You're the best. So this is going to kind of give a commercial moment, y'all. But I really just wanted to let you know that there is a way to give to the podcast and help support it financially. We've already been doing this, but we've considered and taken in some of your guys' feedback. And we believe that this is going to be the easiest and simplest way to give to the pod if it is something that you feel led to do. So we're going to do it through PayPal. And you guys can give at www.paypal.me.

backslash CWCOI. It will also be linked in all descriptions below the episode as well as in the link in our bio on our social media. If you've already given to the podcast in the past or you decide to do it after this episode, I just want you guys to know that it means the world to me. Thank you for your generosity and I just appreciate and love y'all so much. Okay, now let's get back into the episode.

This is another really beautiful example. This is in Psalm 103. We're going to start at 103.10. He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Okay, I love that. And I just feel like that's another really great example. God has told us so many times that

that he forgives and he forgets and he has compassion as a father has compassion on his children. And I love that. I think it just brings us back to that he's a father who has compassion for us, that we make mistakes and we've made mistakes in the past, but he has forgiveness and he's forgotten it. And there's no reason to dwell on it anymore. For me specifically, I'll just say that sometimes versions of myself from the past will come to me in dreams. Obviously, I am a completely different person. That version of me is dead.

The version of us before we knew Jesus, before we were baptized by the Holy Spirit, by fire and water, right? Before we were baptized, we were very much different people. And that version of us is dead. And actually when I was struggling with this guilt of my past, right? That was being thrown in my face through dreams, versions of myself from the past. I was like reliving that version of her. And it almost felt kind of violating because my soul was

Didn't want it like in my dreams. My soul was like no, I don't want to do this anymore This isn't who I am anymore. It isn't who I am. It's not even in my dreams I'm enjoying it like it's not who I am anymore It's triggering when it's thrown in our face like that you know whether it's through memories or dreams or flashbacks or certain places you go to or smells or whatever right there's always gonna be something that

that kind of triggers that or makes us remember our past. I had asked the Lord to guide me on what I should be reading in the Bible. And he brought me to the book of Romans. But basically what Romans was reminding me, what the Holy Spirit was reminding me while I was reading this,

was that when Jesus died on the cross and he was resurrected again, it actually also very much represents what happens to us when we die to our sin and that his sacrifice was not made in vain, that he died on the cross for our sins and for the guilt of

And he died for it, but then was raised to life again. And it is a, it's just a representation of truly and the sacrifice he made for the way that we get to be reborn again and raised from the dead, the death of our sin. And we are born again and alive and perfected.

purified. Right. And I was just like, dang, I just, I felt the spirit remind me. We need to remember what the gospel is when we fall into that trap of guilt, which is sent from the enemy. Because the one thing that the enemy wants us to always do is go back to our past and remember it. Right. We can't erase the past. So instead of trying to forget it, we need to rejoice in God's grace

that delivered us from the guilt. In Hebrews 8 and 10, God says to us in the new covenant in Christ, I will remember your sins no more. We need to appreciate that God is not remembering them and not allow Satan to insist that we remember them. And when we do remember them, to bring them back to the Lord and seek and enjoy his forgiveness again. We will always remember parts of our past, certain memories, things that we have done that did not glorify God.

But instead of falling into the trap of what Satan wants us to do, which is to just be enslaved by our past, trying to convince us that our Lord hasn't fully forgiven us, that we need to seek his forgiveness over and over again about the same thing. I mean, all of that is against the Bible, which is against the word of God, which means we don't believe in the word of God, which means we believe he's a liar, question mark. Like,

Why don't we fully believe that when God says, I remember your sin no more, that's it. We are still being enslaved to that sin, even though we're not necessarily doing it anymore or attached to it. We're still allowing the enemy to run rampant and control us through that sin that we used to do that we aren't even doing anymore. Instead of doing all of that,

We need to say, actually, God, thank you for your forgiveness. Wait, I rejoice right now that I am not that person anymore. Like Uno reversed that on the enemy and say, you know what? Actually, thank you for reminding me of who I was and what the Lord has delivered me from. Because I think the reason why God does allow us to remember parts of it is to remember where we've been delivered from. And that's where we remember his goodness, guys. Like that kind of ties into what I was saying with going through hard times and going through dark times.

whether it's warfare or just challenges, right? It's the sweetness of his goodness though that's like, dang God, like you're good. Like I'm rejoicing right now because I am so glad that I am not that person anymore, that I don't do those things anymore, that I am a completely, I am made new through your blood, Lord. We need to just get the gospel right. We need to understand the gospel again and what it means, what it meant,

when Jesus died for us. And that means remembering that Christ died for us for our sins once and for all. That means he did it once. He didn't need to do it again. And he has done everything that is needed to deal with my shame and he did it once. He did it one time. If we think about what he went through on the cross,

perhaps even stripped bare and assaulted, made an object of shame, why would his father allow that to happen? It was so that he would not only deal with the guilt of our sins by dying on the cross for us, but that he would also deal with the shame of our sin by the way in which he died. He died as someone who was crucified. So I think we need to remember that everything needed for our forgiveness has already been done.

Even the guilt and the shame. Jesus did that for us, y'all. He did it. So after we've repented and we've asked for his forgiveness and we've turned from our wicked ways and we don't do those things anymore, the only thing we're supposed to do is rejoice. I think what's really cool in moments like this also is...

To understand that feeling guilt for the sins and the things that you've done in your past is very normal and you're not alone in that. I think that's why also going back to the Bible and just reading it and reading some of the stories and some of the people who were...

very much lost, very much caught up in sin, were not good people. And Jesus changed them, like radically changed their hearts and they changed their ways once they met Jesus and they tasted his goodness, right? There's so many stories of people who had made a lot of mistakes, right?

in their life and Jesus still had compassion for them and grace for them. I think of Paul, you know, Paul always thought of himself as the chief of sinners because he had slaughtered Christians. Like I think Paul wrote how many books in the new Testament? He wrote a majority of the new Testament and was,

an unbelievably loyal follower and apostle for Jesus Christ. And he before he knew Jesus, he was killing Christians. I want to bring up a verse in First Corinthians. So this is First Corinthians 15:9.

And this is Paul writing to the church. And what he says is,

And so when you read that sentence, it sounds like Paul still struggled from time to time with the guilt of his past and feeling undeserving of the role that he has now. And he was such a leader and a huge part of just...

Christianity. But even with all that he had committed his life to doing for God, and even with the way that he was completely made new, and he was probably unrecognizable. No, no, he definitely was unrecognizable. This man was not nearly the man that he was before he met Christ, right? But he's still struggling with that guilt. I just really love that those are still glimpses and parts that were prioritized to

be put in the Bible because it is something that we can struggle with still as Christians is that guilt and feeling undeserving in a way of where we're at now and what the Lord has delivered us from because we did such awful things before. So I think y'all just two things that I hope that you guys can just take away from this episode is first and foremost, I hope that y'all feel seen in that because it's very real. Even I struggle with it from time to time and it's

I just don't believe that there's a single Christian out there, like a faithful follower of the Lord that doesn't still feel that guilt from time to time about the way that we lived our life before. And the other thing that we need to do after leaving this podcast, what we need to do moving forward when guilt tries to creep up in our mind is we need to trust the promise of God that he will forgive sin and remove guilt based on the blood of Christ. Like we have to just trust.

Trust that and believe it. We need to trust and believe the things that God says to us. You know, it really, it goes back to a saying that I actually, I just found it online as I was kind of researching about this topic. And it goes, if God has saved you out of a sewer, don't dive back in it and swim around. Like don't, if he's already delivered us, why are we jumping back in it and choosing to swim around in it?

dwelling in it, being guilty about it, crying about it, asking him for forgiveness again. Like that's jumping back, diving back into it and swimming in it. He's already picked us up out of it and has forgiven us from it, which makes sense why the enemy would want us to do that though, because he wants to bring us back

to where we were before he wants us and if he can't get us to physically sin again then he'll get us to try to relive it again so we're not gonna allow satan to get in our minds and convince us that we need to be like dwelling on this anymore second chronicles 7 14 says if my people who are called by my name humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways

They will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land. Ephesians 4, 22 through 24 reads,

Let the spirit change your way of thinking and make you into a new person. You're a new person. You're made new. And you're not that person anymore. If he's forgotten it, there's no reason to keep bringing it up to him. It's gone. The other thing that's important about remembering with all of this too, y'all, is just remembering that the blood...

did it so we also need to believe in the power of the blood because if we're looking at jesus and we're looking at what he did on the cross yet we're still holding on to this sin and we're still like holding on to the guilt of the sin of what we used to do and we're not letting it go and we we still feel dirty from it that means we aren't actually fully believing in the power of the blood

I mean, that is essentially you looking at Jesus and saying, your blood wasn't enough. Your blood didn't actually wash me clean. I'm not made white as snow. Your blood wasn't enough. And if the fear of the Lord doesn't fall on you after that, like realizing what you're actually saying to God, when you say, I'm not clean, I still feel dirty from what I did, God, you're telling him that his blood wasn't enough, that the shame of

that he went through being on the cross, that that wasn't enough. We really need to believe in the power of the blood. Jesus dying on the cross overcame all of it once. We need to believe in the power of the blood. We need to believe in the gospel and we need to believe in the word of God. And one more thing we need to remember is that the enemy is the author of lies. He only can lie. That's

literally the only thing that comes out of his mouth. He may try to throw a truth in your face to try to support the lie. Like the truth is, yeah, we did sin, but the lie is that we still need to feel guilty about it and tie ourselves to it. And so just remember that if there's anything that's being told to you by the enemy, it is a lie.

And the truth is the opposite of a lie, right? So the truth is that we do believe in the power of the blood. The blood has washed us clean. We are made new and born again through the death and resurrection and crucification and sacrifice of Jesus Christ. What God tells us in the Bible is the truth. There is forgiveness. There is mercy. And he does forget our sins. And we can trust our Heavenly Father and rejoice in the forgiveness and what he's already done to deliver us from our sins.

And that none of what he did on the cross was in vain. Not a single part of it was done in vain. He didn't just cover our sins. He didn't just die on the cross for our sins, but it was also for the guilt that comes with the sin, the shame that comes with the sin. Oh yeah, he covered that too. It's all covered in the blood. I hope somebody receives freedom today. Amen.

We are not being held hostage to our past any longer. I love you guys. And yeah, I really hope that this episode was fruitful for you and we learned something.

And we're free. We're free today We were always free, but the enemy makes us think we're not we're free. We are free from our past. Hallelujah We're rejoicing in that. Thank you. Jesus. I love you guys, and i'm really proud of y'all. I'll see you next week Hey guys, can we do something really cool? Can we do something really cool this week this weekend until I see you next friday? Can y'all just show somebody how cool jesus is?

I want y'all to do that. Let's do that collectively. Let's not just keep this at the podcast. Let's share this good news with the world. Okay? I love y'all. I'll see you soon. Have a great weekend.

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