expectancy in desperation
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Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Christ with Coffee on Ice. I am your host, Allie Yost, and I am so looking forward to spending time with you guys today. Thank you for tuning in this week. Happy Friday, everybody. I just want to be transparent about where my heart is at right now.

And hopefully this isn't me dumping anything on y'all, but I feel like it's really relatable. And I just want to explain maybe my energy today because my energy is probably not going to be giving what my energy is normally giving. And I'm definitely still filled with joy and gratitude. Don't get me wrong. But today has been a hard day. Today has been really challenging. It hasn't even just been challenging in my patience. It's been challenging in my faith in the Lord and his promises and

And just the things that he's already told me. I feel like even what we talked about a few episodes ago, if you guys tuned in for that, where we were talking about the gifts of prophecy and maybe even getting a prophetic word from the Lord and getting words of knowledge and seeing visions or feeling like you have received promises from the Lord and it hasn't happened yet. I think that

That is just like really becoming reality for me today where I know the promises that the Lord has made to me and I know I'm not crazy. Like, you know how sometimes you feel like you've received words from the Lord and you've always known that that was the Lord. But then for some reason, one day you wake up and you're like, you start to doubt everything. Like you start to doubt everything.

whether it was the Lord's voice from the beginning or not, or if you made it up, like I know so many people are nodding their heads right now. Like that's just so real. And so today has been a bit of like a, it feels like I'm grieving. And it's not that I'm grieving because I've lost hope or I've lost faith, but sometimes surrender feels like grief.

You know what I mean? And I think ultimately that's what I came to today is I just, I surrendered even more than I thought I could. Like I've been surrendering, but today has just been like a deeper surrender, a deeper surrender that, that is almost felt like grief. I almost feel like I'm grieving this thing that it's not that I believe it won't happen, but with surrender is also accepting that if it doesn't,

you will be okay. And so that's just kind of like what I'm going through today. And so if I feel a little slow to talking, if I feel a little softer in my tone, if I don't sound like I have as much enthusiasm behind my voice,

Just know that you guys didn't do anything wrong. I love you guys. And I'm okay. Like I really am okay. This is actually a joy for me to show up for this podcast in the midst of like how my day has gone today. I'm like, wow. But thank God I get to sit down and spend time with you people. And we get to just be in the presence of the Lord.

Oh my gosh, actually that's all I need right now is I just need the word of God. I need the presence of my Abba and to just be in community. And so that's what we're doing right now. And so I am grateful, but I figured I would share that because I know it's relatable and today's just been hard. It's been hard and that's real life. Like

I think a lot of times we see all the glitz and the glam and, and, you know, all the exciting things in the hope and the glory of the Lord. Of course, that's just, that's so very real, but also there there's days where there's hardship. There is spiritual warfare. There is doubt your flesh gets in the way and it can be very hard. And so I just hope that that relates to somebody listening right now, that you're not alone in that.

And the Lord sees you. The other beautiful thing about surrender is when you just lay it all out there on the court for the Lord, it's just like there's freedom in that.

And at the same time, obviously I feel like I'm kind of grieving and it feels sad in a way with surrender, but it also shouldn't. It should actually feel freeing where you're just like, you know what? No matter which way this goes, like no matter in what direction this goes, I prayed that prayer of surrender. So I know that there's going to be no question that whatever the outcome is, it was the will of God.

Like I laid it all out there on the court. Like I left nothing. I held back nothing. Like I put it all out there and I said, Lord, let your will be done in whichever way that this goes. I know that after this prayer, whatever happens after this is your will. Is that a little scary? Yeah. But

But also I trust my father and I know that he's protecting me. And I know that whatever is meant for me and whatever is supposed to happen will happen, especially because I prayed that prayer. Not because I sat back and I was just kind of like, oh God, well, let your will be done, whatever. And I didn't take the time to also have faith and hope. Like I still have faith and hope in the very thing that I surrendered to the Lord today. I do.

And I do still believe in miracles. And I believe that he can turn things around in a second, in a moment. And so I believe in that. But I also have to come to the acceptance of knowing that I am not in control. And so even if things don't happen the way that I thought, expected, hoped for, that my heavenly father knows way more than me. And he knows what's best for me.

And so even if that ends up not looking the way that I wanted it to be, I'm going to trust him. And I am going to have peace at the end of it all because of that surrender. Because of that surrender, I will have freedom no matter the outcome. Like I'm not going to be devastated

because I wasn't leaning on my own understanding. I wasn't building my foundation on one specific outcome having to happen, right? And being like, this has to happen because the truth of the matter is that if that doesn't happen, then that ends in devastation. You know, when you're counting on something more than just counting on the Lord to have his way, you will be devastated, heartbroken, destroyed, like devastated.

The pain of that is more than just facing maybe the temporary hurt and grieving that, you know, I'm feeling right now of surrender. That is more worth than feeling that of complete and utter despair because it didn't go the way that you put all your eggs in that basket and being like, no, this has to be the way that happens.

And if it doesn't happen, then you're devastated and you're left even more heartbroken than what you would have felt if you had just surrendered it and said, you know what, God, I have peace with however this works out because I know you love me and I know that your plans are good and they're better. So anyway, that's just my little, my little rant of the day.

And I hope that it fills you with hope. And I hope that somebody relates. On another note, I know you guys are thinking about how cool my jacket is right now. I knew it. My jacket is so cool, actually. I love it. And I just got it. And before anyone asks me where I got it, I thrifted it. So I don't really know whose it was before it was mine, but it's mine now. And I love it. It says Fresh Express Farms.

Dude, it's cool. I look like I walked straight out of a 90s sitcom. I look like my boyfriend is the star football player in senior year of high school. I look, I look cool. I look cool. And I thrifted it. Are you guys proud of me? Hello? I never thrift, by the way. I'm not a thrifter. I don't really have the patience for it. But this time I did and I got it for 30 bucks. I was negotiating a little bit.

They wanted it for 45, 40 maybe. And I said, how about 30? They said, deal. So I'm also a negotiator. I'm a pro basically at this point. I'm a pro thrifter. Hire me. Just kidding. I actually don't know if I enjoy thrifting yet, but it was cool. This made it fun for me because I actually left with something. Any other time I've tried to thrift, I get overwhelmed. I get overstimulated. There's piles of clothing on like the floor. And I'm like, oh, okay.

That is not what I want to see. I don't want to go through that. So I normally don't ever leave with anything. I also, when I went thrifting guys, I also got this little Jesus pendant and it's silver and it looked so, it literally looks like it was from like the forties or fifties. I'm not kidding. It looks old.

And the woman told me that it was antique and it was from like France, I think she said. And it had Jesus on it and he had the crown of thorns on his head. And so I don't wear a lot of silver. I really didn't know what to do with it. But all I knew was I love Jesus and I love his face. And so I said, I want that. And so I bought it and then I put it on a chain and I hung it on my rear view mirror in my car. So it's like honestly perfect and gorgeous. And I get to look at him while I'm driving. Mm-hmm.

Yay. I love Jesus. Ah, don't we just love Jesus guys? Oh my gosh. Also the best part about surrender is being like, Hey God. So just so you know, don't know if you know this, but I'm just going to say it out loud. I actually can't live without you. I will not keep breathing without you. Like in that type of, in that amount of desperation, y'all, when I, when I tell you, I hit the literal bottom of myself in desperation today, absolute desperation, absolute

Absolute just, "God, I need you. I will not breathe. I can't live without you." What's the song? That's me singing to Jesus today. I said, "How will I ever, ever survive?" How could I live without Jesus? I don't know.

I don't know, but that was my day today. So anyway, also, can I just share? So I have my little, this is where I write my feelings down to the Lord. If you don't have a journal where you talk to the Lord and you write down all your feelings, I don't care if you're a man, if you're a woman, everyone should be doing it. But one of the things that I wrote down, which y'all, is this not, please.

This is one of my favorite things I think I've ever written in my journal. But I said, how weird to keep trusting your voice and what you're saying when it's actually the opposite of what's happening in the natural right now. Like everything you're speaking doesn't make sense with what is happening in real life right now. God, what? We need you, dad. I love you. But isn't that funny? Like, isn't that actually just the definition of faith? Like if you were to think about it, having faith before seeing the proof,

Having faith and listening to the Lord's voice a lot of times doesn't even look like what's happening in real life. You're like, okay, God, I love you, but this doesn't even feel like the reality I'm living in right now. Like you're telling me this, you're telling me one thing and you're telling me this, that, and the next, but like, I'm looking at my life right now. And the math is not mathing. Like it doesn't, they don't look the same, but

then when you even think about how the Lord asks us to have faith, that's actually faith. Faith is having hope in the things that are unseen. Like it, it hasn't happened yet. It's easy to have faith if it's like happening right in front of you and you have the receipts and you see it and you're like, Oh yeah, obviously. Like it's easy to have faith that this computer exists because it's sitting right in front of me, but it's, it's different. Like faith

True faith, radical faith, crazy faith, supernatural faith, faith that God loves and is obsessed with is the type of faith where you go, okay, God, yeah, so everything you're saying is not happening in the natural. Everything you're telling me in the spirit sounds great, but that's not happening in real life. But I'm still going to listen to you. I'm actually still going to have faith in what you're telling me, even though that's not what it looks like right now. That's the kind of faith he's talking about. He can do a lot with that type of faith.

So it was just funny. Like the way I worded it, I was like, you know, what's so funny, God is I'm sitting here and you're telling me these things and you're telling me that I've never heard you wrong and I'm not crazy, but I'm looking at my life and nothing looks like the words you've said. That is delulu. That's crazy. But that's actually faith. That's faith. Like if you think about Noah and the ark and how the Lord was like, Hey, I need you to build this ark. There is a huge flood.

that's going to take out the entire world. So I need you to fill it with people and animals and

you know, but I need you to build this ark. And at that time they had never even seen a raindrop before. Like, can you imagine Noah? I'm sure. Can you imagine the amount of times he probably did doubt the Lord because it took him so long to build that ark. So there's a lot of time to be doubting the Lord, you know, like some days I'm sure he was really on fire. And then other days he was probably like, what am I doing here? Like, I'm sure he was like two fourths of the way through. Well, that's, that's halfway through.

Maybe he was three fourths, one fourth, whatever. I'm sure he was at some point and he was like, what? Wait, no, actually God, I'm sorry. What am I doing? I look crazy. My family thinks I'm crazy. My neighbors think I'm insane. This is actually insane. What even is a flood God? I've never even seen a cloud in my life. Like there's been no rain ever. So how is that possible? That's the same type of faith though. Like everything God was telling Noah,

had nothing to do with what was happening in the natural. At least to the naked eye, it didn't match. Like he was just going off of what the Lord was telling him, even though in life that was not happening. It was because of Noah's faith. He said, all right, I'm going to just trust the Lord, even though I don't see a single raindrop coming anytime soon.

I'm just going to trust what he's telling me. Apparently there's a flood coming. Apparently that's what God said. So I'm, I'm just going to keep doing that, but it's that type of faith. Wow.

That's crazy. So with that guys, I really would love to keep reading the Bible today. Cause I don't know about y'all, but I need the word of God today. So if we could partner up together and read it together, I think that'd be really beautiful. I need the word of God today. So hopefully you guys do too. Hopefully it blesses you. But I know for a fact, I need, I need more. I need more from the Lord today. And so last week was so fire flames and

It was insane. I loved last week where we were reading the book of John and we read up until John two.

So I say we just keep going. Let's just read a little bit more of John. As a reminder, I am reading the NLT translation of the Bible. If you have your Bible with you, hallelujah, praise the Lord, I would suggest definitely reading along. I don't know how many times we're going to stop and talk about it. I did that a lot last episode. It's funny because sometimes I really think I'm just going to be reading through and I'm like, I'm just going to let the people just...

you know, interpret and discern and let the Lord speak to them. But sometimes I do be going off on tangents, but it's fun. It's fun to talk through the word. So let's do that. Let's do that today. Let's just read the word of God. Let's just hear from our dad because ultimately that's what we all need at the end of the day. Okay. We need our Christ and we need our coffee on ice. I haven't even taken a sip of my coffee just yet. Yep. Yep. All right, y'all. We are in John three.

John 3, 1. You ready? There was a man named Nicodemus, a Jewish religious leader who was a Pharisee.

After dark on evening, he came to speak with Jesus. "'Rabbi,' he said, "'we all know that God has sent you to teach us. Your miraculous signs are evidence that God is with you.' Jesus replied, "'I tell you the truth. Unless you are born again, you cannot see the kingdom of God.' "'What do you mean?' exclaimed Nicodemus. "'How can an old man go back into his mother's womb and be born again?'

Jesus replied, "I assure you, no one can enter the kingdom of God without being born of water and the Spirit. Humans can reproduce only human life, but the Holy Spirit gives birth to spiritual life. So don't be surprised when I say you must be born again. The wind blows wherever it wants, just as you can hear the wind but can't tell where it comes from or where it is going, so you can't explain how people are born of the Spirit.

How are these things possible? Nicodemus asked. Jesus replied, You are a respected Jewish teacher, and yet you don't understand these things? I assure you, we tell you what we know and have seen.

and yet you won't believe our testimony. But if you don't believe me when I tell you about earthly things, how can you possibly believe if I tell you about heavenly things? No one has ever gone to heaven and returned, but the Son of Man has come down from heaven. And as Moses lifted up the bronze snake on a pole in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up.

so that everyone who believes in him will have eternal life. For this is how God loved the world. He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish, but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world, not to judge the world, but to save the world through him. There is no judgment against anyone who believes in him, but anyone who does not believe in him has already been judged forever.

for not believing in God's one and only Son. And the judgment is based on this fact. God's light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it, for fear their sins will be exposed. But those who do what is right come to the light, so others can see that they are doing what God wants.

Then Jesus and his disciples left Jerusalem and went into the Judean countryside. Jesus spent some time with them there, baptizing people. At this time, John the Baptist was baptizing at Inan, near Salim, because there was plenty of water there, and people kept coming to him for baptism. This was before John was thrown into prison. A debate broke out between John's disciples and a certain Jew over the fact that

over ceremonial cleansing. So, John's disciples came to him and said, Rabbi, the man you met on the other side of the Jordan River, the one you identified as the Messiah, is also baptizing people, and everybody is going to him instead of coming to us. John replied, No.

No one can receive anything unless God gives it from heaven. You yourselves know how plainly I told you, I am not the Messiah. I am only here to prepare the way for him. It is the bridegroom who marries the bride, and the bridegroom's friend is simply glad to stand with him and hear his vows. Therefore, I am filled with joy at his success. He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less.

Isn't it beautiful the way that John the Baptist talks about who he is, who we are, and who Jesus is? Let's go back to John 3, 29. I just want to read that one more time, y'all. Let's read it a little bit slower. Ready? It is the bridegroom who marries the bride, and the bridegroom's friend is simply glad to stand with him and hear his vows.

Therefore, I am filled with joy at his success. So in this scenario, if we were to guess, who do you think the bridegroom is? Who's the bride and who is the friend of the bridegroom? The bridegroom is Jesus. The church, we are the bride. And the friend of the bridegroom is John the Baptist.

So what he is saying is that I am not going to be offended and I'm not going to make this about me.

It's the way that John was filled with humility. He's humble enough to recognize that the Messiah, Jesus, is God. So he says, I have no right. Like, if anything, I'm simply glad to stand with him and hear his vows. Therefore, I am filled with joy at his success. Like what John is saying is that he is greater than I and Jesus is marrying the church. They're coming. This is a covenant, right?

Being baptized is like a wedding day. You're essentially declaring your love for God and you're declaring your loyalty to the Lord. You're saying, he is my Lord. He's my savior. And so when you are baptized in water, it's very much like a wedding day. It's a ceremony. It's special. It's a promise. It's an agreement.

very much like a wedding. And so John is saying, I must become less and he must become greater. It is the bridegroom who marries the bride.

and the bridegroom's friend is simply glad to stand with him and hear his vows. Therefore, I am filled with joy at his success. He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less. That is just so beautiful. He has come from above and is greater than anyone else. We are of the earth, and we speak of earthly things, but he has come from heaven and is greater than anyone else."

He testifies about what he has seen and heard, but how few believe what he tells them. Anyone who accepts his testimony can affirm that God is true.

for he is sent by God. He speaks God's words, for God gives him the Spirit without limit. The Father loves his Son and has put everything into his hands. And anyone who believes in God's Son has eternal life. Anyone who doesn't obey the Son will never experience eternal life but remains under God's angry judgment.

So what John is saying here is he's just explaining the gravity, the heaviness and the reality of not accepting Jesus Christ. That to the people who don't believe in Jesus's testimony, meaning they don't believe that what he's saying, that, you know, the miracles he's performing, who he has come to be, if they don't believe that, they will not have access to eternal life with God. That

That is why Jesus is referred to the stairway between heaven and earth. He is the cornerstone. He is the way to the Father. Anyone who believes in God's Son has eternal life. Anyone who doesn't obey the Son will never experience eternal life.

Okay, moving on to John 4. Jesus knew the Pharisees had heard that he was baptizing and making more disciples than John. Though Jesus himself didn't baptize them, his disciples did. So he left Judea and returned to Galilee. He had to go through Samaria on the way. Eventually, he came to the Samaritan village of Sychar near the fields that Jacob gave to his son Joseph.

Jacob's well was there, and Jesus, tired from the long walk, sat wearily beside the well about noontime. Soon,

A Samaritan woman came to draw water, and Jesus said to her, Please give me a drink. He was alone at the time because his disciples had gone into the village to buy some food. The woman was surprised, for Jews refuse to have anything to do with Samaritans. She said to Jesus, You are a Jew, and I am a Samaritan woman. Why are you asking me for a drink? Jesus replied, If you only knew the gift God has for you.

and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water. Oh my gosh.

Oh, but sir, you don't have a rope or a bucket, she said. And this well is very deep. Where would you get this living water? And besides, do you think you're greater than our ancestor Jacob who gave us this well? How can you offer better water than he and his sons and his animals enjoyed? Jesus replied, anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again.

It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life. "'Please, sir,' the woman said, "'give me this water. Then I'll never be thirsty again, and I won't have to come here to get water.'

"'Go and get your husband,' Jesus told her. "'I don't have a husband,' the woman replied. "'Jesus said, "'You're right, you don't have a husband, "'for you have had five husbands, "'and you aren't even married to the man you're living with now. "'You certainly spoke the truth.'"

So that is a moment where Jesus revealed kind of like with Nathaniel, where he was sitting under the fig tree. You guys remember we read that last week and Nathaniel was like, oh, you are the son of God. Cause like, how the heck did you know I was sitting under a fig tree? So this is what the Lord did again. He said, you're right. Actually, you don't have a husband. You have five husbands.

And you also are not even married to the man that you're living with right now. Like he's very much showing that he knows things about this woman that like he had, he shouldn't know. Like he shouldn't know any of that.

Sir, the woman said, you must be a prophet. So tell me, why is it that you Jews insist that Jerusalem is the only place of worship, while we Samaritans claim that it is here at Mount Gerizim, where our ancestors worshipped? Jesus replied, believe me, dear woman, the time is coming when it will no longer matter whether you worship the Father on the mountain or

This is when Jesus is saying that it's no longer just going to be in truth. It's in spirit and truth. That he is actually going to tear the veil from top to bottom.

So that it doesn't matter where anyone worships. The Spirit will be accessible all the time, anywhere. And so that's what Jesus is saying when he says, the time is coming when it will no longer matter whether you worship the Father on this mountain or in Jerusalem. Indeed, it is here now when true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth.

The Father is looking for those who will worship him that way. For God is spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth. Woe.

The woman said, I know the Messiah is coming. The one who is called Christ. When he comes, he will explain everything to us. You know what's so funny is that's actually exactly what's happening to her though. She's like, well, when he comes, he'll just explain it all. When like Jesus is low key, obviously he is the Messiah. He's Christ. But he has, he is, he's sitting there literally explaining to her. That's actually already actively happening to her right now. But she goes, well, when he comes, he'll explain everything to us.

Then Jesus told her, I am the Messiah. Just then his disciples came back. They were shocked to find him talking to a woman, but none of them had the nerve to ask, what do you want with her? Or why are you talking to her? The woman left her water jar beside the well and ran back to the village, telling everyone, come and see a man who told me everything I ever did.

Could he possibly be the Messiah? So the people came streaming from the village to see him. Meanwhile, the disciples were urging Jesus, Rabbi, eat something. But Jesus replied, I have a kind of food you know nothing about. Did someone bring him food while we were gone? The disciples asked each other. Then Jesus explained, my nourishment comes from doing the will of God who sent me and from finishing his work.

You know the saying, four months between planting and harvest. But I say, wake up and look around. The fields are already ripe for harvest.

The harvesters are paid good wages, and the fruit they harvest is people brought to eternal life. What joy awaits both the planter and the harvester alike. You know the saying, one plants and another harvests. And it's true. I sent you to harvest where you didn't plant. Others had already done the work, and now you will go gather the harvest.

Now we are in John 4, 39. Many Samaritans from the village believed in Jesus because the woman had said, he told me everything I ever did.

When they came out to see him, they begged him to stay in their village. So he stayed for two days, long enough for many more to hear his message and believe. Then they said to the woman, now we believe not just because of what you told us, but because we have heard him ourselves. Now we know that he is indeed the savior of the world.

Isn't that cool how a testimony, it really can start with a testimony. It really can start with our story of how we met the Lord and how he honestly, he met us where we were at. Like Jesus literally met the woman at the well, that Samaritan woman,

He met her where she was at. She got to encounter him. She got to experience his love. And so because of that, then she goes running into the village and she starts saying, guys, I've met him. He exists. He's real. He's here. The Messiah Christ, the one that we've been waiting for and anticipating for so long. He's here. I met him. He actually told me everything I've ever done. I've met Jesus.

And so just that alone intrigued people enough where they said, wait a minute, I want to experience that. I want to meet him. I want to know Jesus. And so they went back and they said, they obviously like he stayed another couple of days in their village, but they said, now we believe not just because of what you told us, but because we have heard him ourselves. So isn't it cool that our testimonies, like our experiences with the Lord, it actually is important. Like if that woman had not gone back into her village, girl, boy, boy,

This is a word y'all. If she did not go back into that village and she kept that to herself and she said, well, I met Jesus. So I met him and I know he's here. I know the Messiah, the Messiah is here. Christ is here. I know it. So I'm good. I don't really need to tell anybody about it. If she had done that, imagine how differently this would have been. First off, Jesus wouldn't have stayed a couple of days and all these people wouldn't have been able to hear from him themselves. You know,

So I think that's just what's so beautiful about this story because it's just an example of how important our testimonies really, really are.

Max Bankman, I'm the new doctor. Welcome aboard the Odyssey. ABC Thursdays. This ship is heaven. We're tending to our past with our dreams. I'm in. From 911 executive producer Ryan Murphy comes a splashy new drama on a luxury cruise ship with Joshua Jackson and Don Johnson. It's your job to keep everyone alive. She's in V-fit. One, two, three. Clear. Clear.

I have a pulse. You're going to be okay. Dr. Odyssey, Thursdays, 9, 8 central on ABC and stream on Hulu. So let that just be a reminder that your testimony matters and your experiences with the Lord matter. Does that mean that we have to share every single intimate moment and experience with the Lord to the world? No. I think a majority of our relationship with Jesus should be private.

but we definitely shouldn't make it a secret that we know him, we've encountered him, we've experienced him and the way that he's changed our lives. That should never be a secret. There have been plenty of times where I've shared stories or scenarios or even just words of knowledge, like just messages that the Lord has plopped down onto my heart and I've shared it online. Sometimes people have left comments where they've been like, I really think you should keep some things to yourself, girly. Like, I think that

that they think that like every, every revelation or like every intimate moment that I have with the Lord, I bring to the internet. And that's just not the truth. I would say literally 3% of what I experienced with the Lord. I actually bring online, which is crazy. Cause I share a lot about the Lord online, like a lot, like a

a majority of what I talk about online is about Jesus, but it's true because I, I mean, I'm experiencing him all the time. And so I think it's okay if a majority of the things that, you know, especially if it's intimate things, it's okay to keep that to yourself, but I don't think it should ever be a secret that we know the Lord and that he's changed our lives.

And so even how this woman just simply said, all she said was that he told me everything I ever did. She didn't say he told me that I did this and that. And like, she's not going on and on and on. You know, obviously that conversation that she had with Jesus was a vulnerable moment. And so all she said was he told me everything I ever did, but she did run into town and tell everybody that she met him. So I think that's what we should be doing as well. We should be letting people know that we've met the Lord and

And just be honest with how he's changed our lives. Okay, we are in John 4, 43 now.

At the end of the two days, Jesus went on to Galilee. He himself had said that a prophet is not honored in his own hometown. Yet the Galileans welcomed him, for they had been in Jerusalem at the Passover celebration and had seen everything he did there. As he traveled through Galilee, he came to Cana, where he had turned the water into wine. There was a government official in nearby Capernaum whose son was very sick.

When he heard that Jesus had come from Judea to Galilee, he went and begged Jesus to come to Capernaum to heal his son, who was about to die. Jesus asked, Will you never believe in me unless you see miraculous signs and wonders? The official pleaded, Lord, please come now before my little boy dies. Then Jesus told him, Go back home, your son will live. And the man believed what Jesus said and started home.

While the man was on his way, some of his servants met him with the news that his son was alive and well. He asked them when the boy had begun to get better, and they replied yesterday afternoon at one o'clock. His fever suddenly disappeared. Then the father realized that that was the very time Jesus had told him, your son will live.

And he and his entire household believed in Jesus. This was the second miraculous sign Jesus did in Galilee after coming from Judea.

Now we're in John 5. Afterward, Jesus returned to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish holy days. Inside the city, near the Sheep Gate, was the pool of Bethesda with five covered porches. Crowds of sick people, blind, lame, or paralyzed, lay on the porches. One of the men lying there had been sick for 38 years. When Jesus saw him and knew he had been ill for a long time, he asked him,

Would you like to get well? I can't, sir, the sick man said, for I have no one to put me into the pool when the water bubbles up. Someone else always gets there ahead of me. Jesus told him, Stand up, pick up your mat, and walk. Instantly, the man was healed.

He rolled up his sleeping mat and began walking. But this miracle happened on the Sabbath. So the Jewish leaders objected. They said to the man who was cured, you can't work on the Sabbath. The law doesn't allow you to carry that sleeping mat. But he replied, the man who healed me told me, pick up your mat and walk.

Who said such a thing as that? They demanded. The man didn't know for Jesus had disappeared in the crowd, but afterwards Jesus found him in the temple and told him, now you are well, so stop sinning or something even worse may happen to you. Then the man went and told the Jewish leaders that it was Jesus who had healed him. So the Jewish leaders began harassing Jesus for breaking the Sabbath rules. But Jesus replied, my father is always working and

And so am I. So the Jewish leaders tried all the harder to find a way to kill him. For he not only broke the Sabbath, he called God his father, thereby making himself equal with God. So Jesus explained, I tell you the truth. The son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the father doing. Whatever the father does, the son also does. For the father loves the son and shows him everything he is doing.

In fact, the father will show him how to do even greater works than healing this man. Then you will truly be astonished. For just as the father gives life to those he raises from the dead, so the son gives life to anyone he wants. In addition, the father judges no one.

Instead, he has given the son absolute authority to judge so that everyone will honor the son just as they honor the father. Anyone who does not honor the son is certainly not honoring the father who sent him. I tell you the truth, those who listen to my message and believe in God who sent me have eternal life. They will never be condemned for their sins, but they have already passed from death into life.

And I assure you that the time is coming. Indeed, it's here now when the dead will hear my voice, the voice of the son of God and those who listen will live. The father has life in himself and he has granted the same life giving power to his son. And he has given him authority to judge everyone because he is the son of man.

Don't be so surprised. Indeed, the time is coming when all the dead in their graves will hear the voice of God's Son and they will rise again. Those who have done good will rise to experience eternal life and those who have continued in evil will rise to experience judgment. I can do nothing on my own. I judge as God tells me. Therefore, my judgment is just because

Because I carry out the will of the one who sent me, not my own will. That was crazy. I felt the authority in that. I love Jesus. He's so cool. He's so cool. I just love how he sets those Pharisees straight. Every time. Every time. He's like, I'm sorry. Yeah. Wow. I'm gonna stop y'all right there. Okay. Now we're in John 5 31.

If I were to testify on my own behalf, my testimony would not be valid.

but someone else is also testifying about me. And I assure you that everything he says about me is true. In fact, you sent investigators to listen to John the Baptist and his testimony about me was true. Of course, I have no need of human witness, but I say these things so you might be saved. John was like a burning and shining lamp and you were excited for a while about his message. But I have a greater witness than John.

My teachings and my miracles. The Father gave me these works to accomplish and they prove that he sent me. And the Father who sent me has testified about me himself. You have never heard his voice or seen him face to face and you do not have his message in your hearts because you do not believe me.

The one he sent to you. You search the scriptures because you think they give you eternal life, but the scriptures point to me. Yet you refuse to come to me to receive this life through the spirit and truth, through the spirit and truth.

You search the scriptures because you think they give you eternal life. But the scriptures point to me, but the truth points to the spirit. The scriptures point to Jesus. Yet you refuse to come to me to receive this life. It's Jesus that gives life. It is with spirit and truth, but truth points to God, who is the Messiah.

Your approval means nothing to me because I know you don't have God's love within you.

For I have come to you in my father's name and you have rejected me. Yet if others come in their own name, you gladly welcome them. For you gladly honor each other, but you don't care about the honor that comes from the one who alone is God. Y'all, he is literally serving them. He is serving them. Did you hear that? He said, y'all are going to go around and honor each other and love and put each other on all these platforms.

and honor each other, but you don't care about the honor that comes from the one who only is God.

Jesus is like, do you see how the math isn't mathing? Y'all are acting like fools. It's the way that Jesus made it so clear, like laid it all, spelt it out for these people. And they said, they still said, no, that's crazy to me. Like, that's actually crazy. I can't imagine looking Jesus in the face in person, in human form and being like, nah, that's what they did. You

Yet isn't it I who will accuse you before the father? Moses will accuse you. Yes, Moses, in whom you put your hopes. If you really believe Moses, you would believe me because he wrote about me. But since you don't believe what he wrote, how will you believe what I say? Jesus is literally like, you guys are missing the whole, you're missing it. You're missing it.

You guys believe in the law so much. You believe in scripture, okay? Well, if that were true, if you really believed in Moses, you would believe in me, hello?

because he wrote about me. So you guys are walking around and you're acting like, oh, the law, this, and on the Sabbath, this, and you can't do that. And oh, you know, the truth, scripture, the law, the word. Jesus is like, if that was really the truth though, if you guys really cared so much about the word, if you really believed in Moses, if you really believed in the 10 commandments and you believed in the law, you would believe in me because he

about me. But since you don't believe in what he wrote, how will you believe in what I say? Jesus is saying that the reason they don't believe what he's saying is because they don't actually believe in the word of God. Because if they actually believed in the word of God and they really had the love of God in their hearts and they really believed in it, like in their hearts, in their souls, they

They would not have an issue with believing Jesus right now, but it's because of the way that they, they don't actually, they just believed in religion. They just were believing in like, honestly honoring themselves. They were just wanting to look all high and mighty. It was, it was more about the way that they looked rather than what they actually valued, which should be the word of God embedding it in their hearts and believing in the word of God and believing even in the way that Moses wrote about Jesus.

And so now they have the Messiah standing right in front of them, looking at them in the eye, the same Messiah that has been written about, that has been foreshadowed about in the word of God in the old Testament, the same Messiah, that same son of God is looking them in the eyes and they're still not getting it. They still don't get it.

All right, let's read. Let's just read John six and then we'll be done. Okay. I'm not really done yet. I want to keep reading. This is so good. Is this not like absolute fire? I love the book of John. I also really love this translation. Like I really like it a lot. Actually. I think I like it better than NIV, which is what I started with. Yeah. I really like this. I like this better. Like I'm understanding it more.

Okay, John 6. After this, Jesus crossed over to the far side of the Sea of Galilee, also known as the Sea of Tiberias. A huge crowd kept following him wherever he went because they saw his miraculous signs as he healed the sick. Then Jesus climbed a hill and sat down with his disciples around him. It was nearly time for the Jewish Passover celebration. Jesus soon saw a huge crowd of people coming to look for him.

Turning to Philip, he asked, where can we buy bread to feed all of these people? He was testing Philip, for he already knew what he was going to do. Philip replied, even if we worked for months, we wouldn't have enough money to feed them. Then Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, spoke up. There's a young boy here with five barley loaves and two fish. But what good is that with this huge crowd?

Tell everyone to sit down, Jesus said. So they all sat down on the grassy slopes. The men alone numbered about 5,000. Then Jesus took the loaves and he did what Jesus does best, gave thanks to God and distributed them to the people.

Afterward, he did the same with the fish and they all ate as much as they wanted. After everyone was full, Jesus told his disciples, now gather the leftovers so that nothing is wasted. So they picked up the pieces and filled 12 baskets with scraps left by the people who had eaten from the five barley loaves. When the people saw him do this miraculous sign, they exclaimed, surely he is the prophet we have been expecting.

When Jesus saw that they were ready to force him to be their king, he slipped away into the hills by himself. So that miracle is really fun. Let's just talk about it. Let's just talk about it for just one second. You guys, this is actually a very famous moment. Obviously, anything that the Lord does is famous. Any miracle that Jesus did.

is famous. But this is when Jesus literally, it says the men alone numbered about 5,000. That doesn't count the women and the children that were there as well. So Jesus managed to feed thousands of people with a very little amount of food, of fish and loaves. And not only did these people all get a taste of food, but they all got to eat as much as they wanted.

And they all ate as much as they wanted. After everyone was full, Jesus told his disciples, now gather the leftovers. What? So even after that, not only was every single person satisfied, but there were leftovers. So many leftovers that they filled 12 baskets with scraps.

So if that's not a beautiful representation, I mean, it's not just a representation, it happened, but that is just a beautiful example of how when we are in need and it doesn't look possible. Okay. Let's loop it right back to what Allie was talking about in the beginning of this episode when I was just laying my heart out there. Right. And I was like, surrender, surrender, surrender.

But when it doesn't look possible, there is actually no way, like without Jesus performing that miracle, that all of those people would have been fed, one, satisfied, definitely not. Like that wouldn't have been possible. And there absolutely wouldn't have been leftovers. Like that actually blows my mind. But it's the fact that because of Jesus's power, because he is God, he can do anything. He was able to multiply that food and there were leftovers.

So let us just remember that whenever we need anything from the Lord, like we need food, we need a miracle, we need some way somehow, or we won't survive. Like God, I need you to show up so badly right now. Just know that he will show up for you because of your faith.

These people had enough faith in Jesus to show up. Like they were like ready to learn. They sat, they said, because of the miracles he had performed, they were ready. You know, they were there because of their faith. They had traveled a long way to sit and learn from the Messiah. They, they, they did that because they believed in him. And so because of that, they also were taken care of.

And Jesus provided everything they needed. We just got to remember that. And we got to remember that the Lord's heart is so good and it is so big and it is so pure that not only does he give us exactly what we need, he gives us everything we want. They ate all as much as they wanted, but then he gives us more than we ever asked for. Like these people ate as much as they wanted, but then there were still scraps left by the people, 12 baskets worth of scraps.

It's the fact that he gives us more than we even ask for. So expect, expect, expect that the Lord will do it. Expect that the Lord will not only give you the desires of your hearts, but he will definitely exceed it. He will blow your mind.

We have to have faith. We have to wait. We have to have patience. We have to believe in miracles, which is believing in God because the only one that can perform miracles is literally God. It's supernatural. There is nothing in our human capacity that can make it work. Like we can't make miracles happen. Only God can. It's supernatural. So when we say that we're expecting a miracle, we are saying that we expect God to show up because that's the only way a miracle could happen. And so we are expectant in miracles.

When there are only five loaves and two fish, we expect a miracle. We're expecting it because we believe that the Lord can multiply that and give us more than we needed. So much so that we have 12 baskets of scraps and leftovers. That's what he does. That is who our God is. That. So we're not only hopeful, we're not only filled with faith, but we are what?

Expect it. Yeah. We're expecting that that is the character of our God. That is. Okay. Now we're moving on to John 6, 16. That evening, Jesus's disciples went down to the shore to wait for him.

But as darkness fell and Jesus still hadn't come back, they got into the boat and headed across the lake towards Capernaum. I wonder why they left without Jesus. Sorry, just a moment. Can we read that again? That evening, Jesus' disciples went down to the shore to wait for him, but a darkness fell and Jesus still hadn't come. They got into the boat and headed across the lake towards Capernaum. Do you think they were supposed to do that?

Why did they do that? If they were expecting Jesus and they were waiting for him and he still hadn't come yet, even if it was getting dark, I'd be like, but I know he's going to come like he's Jesus. I mean, that's easy for me to say, actually, because I think a lot of times maybe we're like the Lord will come and then he still hasn't come. And so then we act out of our flesh and we're like, all right, fine, I'm going to do it. And like, that's actually exactly what they did.

So actually, I can understand why they did that. They were acting out of their flesh. They were like, oh, he's not coming. I'm just going to do it. Like, guys, let's just go.

Soon a gale swept down upon them and the sea grew very rough. They had rowed three or four miles when suddenly they saw Jesus walking on the water toward the boat. They were terrified, but he called out to them, don't be afraid, I am here. Then they were eager to let him on the boat and immediately they arrived at their destination.

That is crazy. I almost wish there was more written about that. Like, sorry, you guys were three to four miles out in the middle of the sea in darkness and they see a man.

Can we just close our eyes and imagine that first? Just please. I know we've all heard the story about Jesus walking on water, but we also prayed this prayer last time. Let it never grow numb. Let us never become familiar. I pray that it is fresh and it is just as shocking as if we've read it for the first time. That's what I'm trying to get at now, guys. Like let's really, can we just sit for a second and imagine that? Imagine that you are on a boat, a little boat out in the middle. Are you kidding me? In the middle of nowhere. Close your eyes. You're on a boat.

You're on a little dinky boat. You hear it creaking. You hear it? It's like a wooden boat. And as every wave is coming and you're like, like it's like,

rocking, you're like, you're like hearing the rocking of it. And it might even be a little rickety because it's not like the boats we have today. All right, y'all, it's a boat. I'm sure it was built well, but it was a boat built very long ago and they're rocking and they see the waves and they see the way the storm is coming and they only see the glow of the moon. Like it is dark. The water is black.

There are no city lights anymore. We are three to four miles out. Okay. Maybe, maybe they can see something off in the horizon maybe, but for the most part, it is pitch black out there. Okay. It is darkness. The water is black. Everything is dark. The only thing they see is maybe the light of the moon in the sky and like the glistening and the sparkles on the water that's reflecting off from the moon, but everything is dark.

There are stars everywhere. It's also so quiet, but then you hear the roaring waves. Like you hear the waves coming and the boat is starting to rock even more. And you just see this storm rolling in. Like now you see clouds kind of coming in, you know, how you can see the clouds coming in because of the glow of the moon. And then you see it kind of starting to cover the moon and you're like, oh my gosh, there's a storm coming. Right. And so the sea grew very rough.

And the winds were coming in and the clouds are coming in and they're like, oh my gosh, and you're rocking and it's rickety. And then all of a sudden you see what looks like a silhouette of a human being walking on water. Hello? I'm going to cry. You see a silhouette of a human being standing on the water and they go, oh my gosh, I'm terrified. It

It says that they saw Jesus walking on water towards the boat, but we don't actually know if they knew it was Jesus because it is dark out. And like, I, I see the visual and it's like the moon is behind Jesus. So you see, you see the silhouette, like the moon is like somewhere behind him. So it's, it's just a silhouette, a dark figure of a human being standing on the water. And I believe in the other translation, the NIV version that I read,

maybe, where they felt it was a ghost, where they're like, oh my gosh, am I seeing a ghost right now? And

they were terrified, which is giving. They didn't think it was Jesus. Like imagine they're out on this boat and it's the reason they felt terrified is because, well, one, they're in the middle of nowhere. Why, why four miles out? Should there ever be a human being standing on water? Cool. Got it. I'm scared right now. But when he called out to them, they heard the voice of Jesus. Don't be afraid. I am here. And they recognized his voice.

Oh!

Oh man, I can't imagine experiencing that. So, I mean, that was a very short verse, but if we really take the time to sit back and reflect and digest that and just imagine it, like God gave us imagination for a reason. And he, he encourages us to use it while we're reading the Bible. Right. And so I think that's so important for us to just stop and be like, wait a minute. Can we just imagine that?

Can you imagine that? There would be no question in my mind that this man was the son of God at that point. Like, I know that we've seen all the miracles and he turned all of those loaves and two fishes to lots of food. And he turned between 120 and 180 gallons of water into wine. And yeah, the lame are walking now, but seeing him walk on water like that would probably seal the deal for me. I'd be like, yeah, that sounds about right. Yeah.

That sounds like something the son of God would be able to do. That's crazy. Okay, guys, let's just get through John 6. I'm sorry. That just was so fun to imagine. John 6, 22. Then the next day, the crowd that had stayed on the far shore saw that the disciples had taken the only boat and they realized Jesus had not gone with them.

Several boats from Tiberias landed near the place where the Lord had blessed the bread and the people had eaten. So when the crowd saw that neither Jesus nor his disciples were there, they got into the boats and went across to Capernaum to look for him. They found him on the other side of the lake and asked, "'Rabbi, when did you get here?' Jesus replied, "'I tell you the truth. You want to be with me because I fed you, not because you understood the miraculous signs.'"

But don't be so concerned about perishable things like food. Spend your energy seeking the eternal life that the Son of Man can give you. For God the Father has given me the seal of his approval. They replied, we want to perform God's works too. What should we do? Jesus told them, this is the only work God wants from you. Believe in the one he has sent.

That is the only work God wants from you. Believe in the one he has sent. They answered, show us a miraculous sign if you want us to believe in you. What can you do? After all, our ancestors ate manna while they journeyed through the wilderness. The scriptures say, Moses gave them bread from heaven to eat. Jesus said, I tell you the truth. Moses didn't give you bread from heaven. My father did.

And now he offers you the true bread from heaven. The true bread of God is the one who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world. Let's read that one more time. And now he offers you the true bread from heaven. The true bread of God is the one who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.

Jesus is saying it wasn't Moses, y'all. It was God working through Moses. Jesus said, Moses didn't give you bread from heaven. God, my father did. God did.

And now he offers you the true bread from heaven. The true bread of God is the one who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world. That's Jesus. He's referring to himself. The true bread of God is the one who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world. The bread, the wine, his body, and his blood. He is the bread who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.

Sir, they said, give us that bread every day. Jesus replied, I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. But you haven't believed in me even though you have seen me. However, those the Father has given me will come to me.

See how Jesus is saying it again and again? He's saying, I'm not doing my will. I'm doing the Father's will right now. And this is the will of God, that I should not lose even one of all those he had given me, but that I should raise them up at the last day.

Then the people began to murmur in disagreement because he had said, I am the bread that came down from heaven. They said, isn't this Jesus, the son of Joseph? We know his father and mother.

How can he say I came down from heaven? They're like, how can he say that he came down from heaven when we literally know his parents? Like we know how he came into the world. He's from Joseph and Mary. He's not from heaven. Like they're thinking, they're thinking that Jesus is saying that he just came and like dropped down from heaven. But Jesus replied, stop complaining about what I said for no one can come to me unless the father who sent me draws them to me.

And at the last day I will raise them up. As it is written in the scriptures, they will all be taught by God. Everyone who listens to the Father and learns from him comes to me. Not that anyone has ever seen the Father, only I, who was sent from God, have seen him. I tell you the truth, anyone who believes has eternal life. Yes, I am the bread of life. Your ancestors ate manna in the wilderness, but they all died.

Anyone who eats the bread from heaven, however, will never die. I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Anyone who eats this bread will live forever. And this bread, which I will offer so the world may live, is my flesh. Guys, if you want more context about what these people are talking about with Jesus, about Moses and going through the wilderness and the bread that was provided, read Exodus.

That's what Jesus is referring to and what all these people are talking about. I want to read that again. Anyone who eats this bread will live forever. And this bread, which I will offer so the world may live, is my flesh.

So Jesus is telling them, he's foreshadowing, he's explaining, he's kind of showing into the future of his crucifixion. Like he's telling everybody that the bread of life is him, but it's also his flesh, but it's actually through his sacrifice. This bread, which I will offer so the world may live is my flesh.

Then the people began arguing with each other about what he meant. How can this man give us his flesh to eat? They asked. So Jesus said again, I tell you the truth. Unless you eat the flesh of the son of man and drink his blood, you cannot have eternal life within you.

But anyone who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life. And I will raise that person at the last day for my flesh is true food and my blood is true drink. Anyone who eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me and I in him. I live because of the living father who sent me in the same way. Anyone who feeds on me will live because of me.

I am the true bread that came down from heaven. Anyone who eats this bread will not die as your ancestors did, even though they ate the manna, but will live forever. He said these things while he was teaching in the synagogue in Capernaum. Many of his disciples said, this is very hard to understand. How can anyone accept it? Jesus was aware that his disciples were complaining. So he said to them, does this offend you?

Then what will you think if you see the Son of Man ascend to heaven again? The Spirit alone gives eternal life. Human effort accomplishes nothing. And the very words I have spoken to you are spirit and life. But some of you do not believe me. For Jesus knew from the beginning which ones didn't believe, and he knew who would betray him.

Then he said, that is why I said that people can't come to me unless the father gives them to me. At this point, many of his disciples turned away and deserted him. Then Jesus turned to the 12 and asked, are you also going to leave? Simon Peter replied, Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life. We believe and we know you are the holy one of God.

Then Jesus said, I choose the twelve of you, but one is a devil. Y'all, we all know who that is. Do we know who that is? He was speaking of Judas.

son of Simon Iscariot, one of the 12 who would later betray him. Oh, what a great stopping point. All right, y'all. Wow. Thank you, Jesus. I feel so much better. I don't know how y'all feel, but I feel so much better after reading the word of God. That was so life-giving.

Oh, thank you, Jesus. Thank you for this episode, Lord. I just thank you for the way that the word is living. It is alive. It revives us. It revives our spirit. It is the food to our souls. And so God, I just thank you that this was such a fruitful episode. Lord, thank you for showing up. Thank you for educating us. Thank you for the word. Thank you for the key to life, which is the word of God, which is you, Lord, which is your wisdom, which is the truth of Jesus.

In Jesus name, amen. Guys, I love you. I'm so proud of you. Thank you for tuning in for this episode. I appreciate y'all. Guys, can we do something cool today actually? Can we show somebody how cool Jesus is? Can we walk like the Lord? Can we love like the Lord? I love y'all. I'm so proud of you. I will see you guys next Friday. Have a beautiful weekend. Have a great rest of your week. And I will see you next time. Bye.

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