I'm charlie webster. You're listening to skanda.
AManda sy Riley had beaten cancer three times in as many years. Her blog detAiling her roller coasters journey was really racking up. The hits .
seemed to be sunday night, wednesday and friday. Or, you know, he would post and somebody would ultimately yell out in the newsroom, there's a new post, and we would all like, run to our desk and read.
The whole reason for this blog was to inform people about cancer and break that uncomfortable walk on excel stigma that can follow, motivate, educate other spending and have a mentor of sorts from my kids in my family, no matter where this journey leads. So to see this little old blog by a random girl getting attention, doing the things I intended, it's awesome. So things.
maybe a couple years into her blog, IT was removed for a time. SHE kind of removed herself for a time.
The blog would be up for for a long time. And then he would shut IT down. And then you would open up the blog again with the new post, and then you would shut that down like nobody could see IT.
And what I had heard happened is that he was being sued for faking cancer lenzing wa.
Among his friend from church.
But IT was a whole mixer because there was someone else named AManda li who died from cancer. And there was .
another amount, willey, a seventeen year old girl who lost her life to cancer in to twenty ten, two years before hour a under wiley, first started her blog. To add to the confusion. A foundation was started in the name of the deceased, AManda.
And so the idea was that, or IT was a mix up. Then he was back in the game terminal miracle.
The cancer 2 lapsed into my life。 The doctors were unsure if IT was a whole new cancer in end of itself due to the ridiculously high amounts of cho terminal miracle. More people, bigger goals, stronger prayer, unbreakable, able faith.
This is how we win this. Every time I sit down and say, no more, the right person at the right time picks me up and says, no, keep walking. Keep moving. Don't stop. Now, I am so grateful and think for and faithful .
for that .
terminal miracle. Jesus, always terminal. Miro.
I just relaxed again. This is the first time I relaxed while still on active treatment. Terminal miracle. It's hard to write and i'm sure hard to read, but with no treatment.
i'll maybe make IT two to three months supposed .
to end of life. Lets make a health care directive as well as a living. Well, no twenty nine year old should ever have to write goodyer letters to family or composed. Well, but here we are.
Jesus came into everything he would correct. People saying, all there are nuo coincidences. It's all miracles from god.
Humans are inherently selfish, so it's hard for me to believe that obvious actions I am the timing on the side them are pure coincidence .
and not really just started to seep in to me. And before I knew that I was talking like that, I played for every single night, every night. I thought good intentions could save her.
AManda was a big deal at the mega church F, C, C family community church in sana z.
At fcc, we are on mission to lead people to become fully devoted followers of Christ. We have value the drivers. Number one, we are after life change.
That was the best church i've ever been to.
This is various former leader at the youth group encounter. F, C, C.
They talked about transformation, but they talked about things of.
like why .
it's important to transform verse. Oh, just do IT because you don't want to go to hell. There are so many churches that preach about, like, just turn from your sing because you going to go to home.
It's like, well, why do I like to sing? Why does sin feel good? You know, like, why do I like to do these things? So I loped that they always got to the rule.
And they didn't like play church. They didn't play IT. They were very like, let's talk about IT and let's go through IT together.
So let's one thing i'd loved about my Younger ult group. IT was called in counter IT was great. IT was very um involved in your life.
We would have barbecue e after church, watch the game together. And I was really rare for me because back then you want to watch you, you couldn't listen a big tree. Boys, let me tell you, you can listen back. Boys, okay, that's our religion. The church is like, really, yeah, the church is, you had to wear skirts, can cut your hair, don't make up IT.
yeah.
IT was just what you were raised in.
Yes, my pastor, who was really .
Young at the time, he was only like twenty three. This is faster jays.
We have this belief as a church and as a group. Then when you get to know jesus, your life is never the same.
That's past a chase. Speaking on a pro video for F, C, C.
he had a great personality, the way he would tell stories from the bible, and then you would make IT relationship. So I loved that. Only know I anded through, like church leader show, ever hung out with her, like SHE came in my home.
I can. Her home was never like that was more of like we were at the barbecues at the retreat. If he just came up so supportive, encouraging and SHE always made you seen SHE always made people seem so. One thing I like, i've really admired about AManda.
her story was interesting .
because he had IT than I came back. IT came back again, and then I went away again, and then he came back. They did cut out for story of her whole story.
I've been fighting stage work of lung cancer for the past three years. Disappoint that doctors don't want to treat anymore. When he talked about how he had cancer when he was pregnant, IT was very inspiring.
When you're sitting there like on every year, he said this one thing, think of someone asked her like how do you cope with this, knowing that you have cancer and that you could die, like that you could, and you have this time to live. He said, I just know that this world is not my whole, and I never that stuck with me forever. This world is not my home, and i'm going somewhere else so I could handle IT.
And I just, oh wow, like, you know, she's very strong person. I have that kind of mindset. They developed a new drug and new therapy, and they wanted to give to try. We've been worry and praying. And for the R I like positive ity, but you need to understand that in your situation .
in this drug working .
would be like rain in california, a presence was like he was known for, the person who was really like strong, going through stuff and overcoming IT. After AManda .
spoke on stage at the church, passed a chase, valid the congregation to pray for her healing.
Can you start your hand stores? This woman is up right right now, father. We think for a man that we think for the life as he is LED. God, I thank you for their own, that they're, in truth, in the fact that you will never leave us, or for sake us, even in the, even in the rest of the end of the age. For the got learn pera right now, heating into her body.
everyone was just like an ove. Like, well, like this is, I couldn't imagine ping in her shoes. You could just tell the crowd was very like, can't believe that happened. And how do you deal with life? And IT was crazy, because even on the screening shed pictures, there was pictures of her in the hospital.
What are the pictures like?
He was in hospital, very upset, looked defeated. Their pictures of her crying, I didn't make you feel bad for her, you know, I didn't make you feel I go dying like she's really going through IT. And SHE is trying to like being influence at the same time, using her story for the right way. But SHE tossed .
in a lie.
Thousands of people backing a random thirty year old girl was staged for blood cancer, supporting, sacrificing, praying, worrying for Victory. If you don't see the good in the world, please follow my story. I'm proud of hashtag t.
AManda IT started a .
silly hashtag notion of support that has grown into a movement of thousands, representing so much more. Now, thank you, cancer. I appreciate for that.
SHE was just very detailed about what her battle was. He was very acknowledgement about the terms and what someone going through chemotherapy would goes through.
That's penny freely, a volunteer at charity american cancer society.
He had a little port that um my dad actually had to have one towards the end of fest cancer metals. And you know he had IT like taped here and he says, all I get this out in a couple days.
a few other updates. I got a port after nearly three years without one, only to have to get infected after two weeks and half to have IT removed. Now I have .
to get another one.
SHE was just so detailed, and I accurately detailed about what someone who had gone through a true cancer battle would be like. This was not a misunderstanding. This was not someone mistering something or mistaking something. SHE was solicitor in every aspect of talking about her cancer journey.
SHE talked about having spots on her brain, and he talked about particular doctors that were running clinical trials, specifically in new york, that he had said he used the, it's a called the whole lodge, and it's a program the american cancer society provides free lodging for cancer patients. SHE told me that he was SHE to use that. In fact, I used to is an example.
A couple times when I spoke to people about is, you know, this is an a statistic. I know someone took advantage of this program and was able to get free lodging in new york is not expensive. Then there were the physical manifestations, clean, shaving her head because he lost her hair due to chemo therapy.
Penny lost her father to cancer.
My dad got real sick. IT was hard that he had a color rectal cancer. IT started with a fourteen hour surgery where they took everything out.
And so he was on A A stoma. He no longer process waste like we do. He had a bag.
He was on a bag. Interestingly enough, we ran into AManda at the hospital when my dad was having this verbal surgery. SHE had a bag with her and he told us he was there for maintenance chemo therapy.
And this was like at ten o'clock at night, because he had gone in for surgery at six o'clock, and we had just been able, able to team for the first time, SHE said. SHE was there like a for king with her. SHE had a little bag of supplies with her. SHE had stuff in her hand, and he said, and SHE held IT up and I was almost like he had to explain why SHE hated. SHE said, oh no, I just had my king with their abb that gave me some .
stuff to take home.
which she's surprised to see you.
SHE did not expect to see us.
but SHE is supportive of why you were there and your father.
yeah, he was. And she's like, i'm so sorry. I know how heart IT can be. And my mom, I remember my mom, SHE, was prety vulnerable .
at the time.
And he just told him out that I grateful SHE was that a man that was doing well and that the experimental treatment was working, and that he was so grateful that those boys, we're going to have her. And, you know, SHE knew he had a battle head of her bbi. SHE was just, my mom was so glad this year, essentially box tickets for SHE and curry.
The first was the rock in the rack. And this was february twenty sixteen. It's in a blog now.
He talks about rock in the work against cancer. We raised ten thousand dollars for cancer. IT was at the sad of wrecking free much. And I book tickets so that they could come. The tickets were twenty dollars each. And I think, let me make the season m and they showed up and they wore all about IT their blog and pick pictures with everybody.
Thank you for the prayers. We are so grateful. Prayers work. We have seen that time and time again.
I'm so grateful for every extra second I get, whether that's a day or a year. We celebrated a rock in iraq against cancer to raise money to combat this disgusting disease. We had a great time.
thanks. Funny for her inviting us. They ve raised upwards of ten thousand dollars. Way to go.
And the second was packed the park with purple. And that was an event we did with the sand oz giants. I bought them baseball tickets, and my friend Patty had bought out the the little patio on the side with the barbecue.
And the tickets were not cheap. Those tickets are expensive. So AManda and her whole family went in there and had barbecue on Patty's time.
Patty, like a cancer survivor and really wanted to do something nice and and boyd, a man to just milk that whole thing and SHE showed up to the pack to pack with purple, wearing an outfit he had on socks. That said, survivor SHE alters her port tape on SHE went out instead on the field with the other cancer survivors, including my parents. I made a hurt on the field and released robo land, SHE said. SHE was just so happy that he could still participate. Things like this is a survivor.
I was an honor guest at the pack. The park purple at the sand was a giant game, so much fine jump les boot. They started with honoring the survivors on the field, followed by a survivor video on the metro.
I was on IT three times with Mickey s IT made me smile. This year was extra special because je, just as big sister, who i've known some two was six, is a child od, M, L, survivor. And IT was the first time we did a survivor event together. I'm so happy he came. The lunary alist was beautiful, to say the least.
SHE did invite me out to a real for life at a saddles, a giant game. This was when he was sick.
jammy again, just as big sir, elite's daughter and child, hod cancer survivor.
I was think twenty years older. So and at that point in my life, I was still hiding, for the most part, my pride. I was still a closed prod cancer survivor.
But that moment we went out with a group of other cancer survivors and fighters, and AManda and we stood out on the field, and they give us balloons too. Honor and remember those that didn't win their fight. We have released balloons out together, and AManda was right there, out there with us.
That was my moment of, like, you know, I am OK like i'm still here. I can be proud to be here. I still on the loss of my friends, you know, people that didn't make IT, but i'm OK and i'm allowed to be OK.
I'm allowed to be proud. And he was dying right next to me, bubbly, happy, proud, strong. That balloon SHE held. SHE looked up at eight, and SHE was smiling. SHE let go. And he was smiling like, and I was too, what my eyes, because I, you know, I was going through a lot mentally in that moment, but I love in, we seemingly shared that moment.
As a man, a kept posting on her blog, Nancy y felt more and more like something really wasn't right.
Okay, i'm going to go in now and really peel this apart and start making some phone calls. I was really careful and how I proceeded, I didn't just call people willing nearly. I didn't want to reach out to anyone and and tip my hand.
So I took a long time before I reached out to anyone. I spoke with Chris X, Y for leader. That was a conversation that I was very, very careful in how I spoke with her, in asking if he was comfortable talking with me, and he absolutely was.
I sent the leader a really vague message via etsy. I knew there was court proceedings and stuff. And so, well, how can I go about contacting them? Because I didn't know how will need to felt. You know, I knew that there was obviously something.
So you know, who elisa was .
just from researching AManda and quality Riley to kind of learn like, okay, who have they ve lived with before? Who are their family members are doing that type of research? And then approaching various people not quite of knowing what they knew or what they how they felt about them. And so I just kind of vagary put IT out to hers like, you know, I am looking for people that, no, AManda Riley, I saw that you you were married to her, her husband.
when just wanted .
to get to know more about them, kind of left IT vages. You know what they know you could be best friends was really just to kind of see get a feel for her and what he thought of them.
What was IT like when nc reached .
out to to you? I open the email and I said, what is this? And so I called, and he was kind of vae, and I was trying to get to feel.
what does he want? What is SHE wanting here?
Because I would have nothing good to say about these people.
So, yeah.
so I told her, i'm sorry, I can't help you because they lie about everything I can help you. They just lie. And then, of course, the conversation is kind of went from there.
What was a little like when you face votes, what is you gonna come across like.
very upfront, very honey, I know I help you anyway. You can like, what is that that you're trying to find out because, again, I I was pretty vae. IT was concerning when he said, well, they lie a lot and I knew that was a inx wife's perspective. And you know, that can be obviously through different lenses.
We surprised when Nancy history chair.
that's producer Jackson, you can hear there.
Oh yeah, I was really surprised. yeah.
Was kind of shocked that I say.
what does the lady wanted? You know, this is crazy.
He just said.
well, I have nothing, nothing nice to say. I'm sorry. I really kid help you beyond .
what did you mean a lisa by they they .
just vial the time because you know the custody issues with just a and even things that didn't have to .
do with just they .
are just lied about everything. I mean, even when the truth would be OK, they would still lie. And IT was just so concerning. Anything bad that can come out of IT .
did with what they've .
said in court and how they try to represent how I was as a mom?
Yeah, you looked at just then when I asked you, is IT quite hard to, yes, talk about, you know, in front of her?
Yeah, he knows a lot of .
bit was IT. I listen to mom talk about things like that because you must have been how old you when the custody case was going through.
Honestly, ali, don't even remember that there has just been so much stuff that has happened that my memories are all just kind of jumbled together in order me. But growing up, I knew they were trying to make my mom look bad.
They just really try to tell me apart. And at one point they did, and they tried to room my relationship with my daughter and I decided to sit back. And IT was, IT was horrible.
IT was just awful. There was at one point there where they actually turned her against me, literally. I found a letter.
IT said something about my dad told me what happened in court today. I hate a leader like human run. Reference me as mom.
They really just turned against me. There is nothing I felt like I can do except be truthful with her all the time. I kept time myself.
You just have to just sit tight. Don't talk to her about any of this. You're gonna a have to sit back and watch IT all unravel.
That's the only way that this is gona resolve for her to see the truth anyways because if I was to tell her, me know if I was to say bad things about them or even things that were true about them, which are appear back to her than IT would come back on me regards. So I had to just sit back and literally watched on ravel and oh my god, did IT on a ruble. And when I did on rubel IT unrebuked quickly.
While a leader felt that AManda inchy was hearing her family apart, AManda was giving her friends a different impression.
From what I had always heard, IT was the mother of her step daughter, who was always referred to as bonus child was her mother that was trying to ruin among his life. And IT was all because they had won custody over justice. And justice mom was in IT for the revenge in IT to drag amt as a name through the mud and make everybody think he was a horrible liar.
I'll ever heard of how the X X Y is crazy. The X Y is crazy. This is a terrible mom. I just thought maybe to explain that really .
was that crazy? No, AManda's friends Stephen .
lisa berry also had a front rotate to the custody drama.
AManda SHE was charming. I mean, I actually thought, well, you know, if I had an older daughter, I would like her to be AManda. I really thought that I think I was old enough to be her mother as a Young mother, but still, but I really liked how charming SHE was.
You know, she's educated. She's going to stanford working on her P. H.
D. She's quite intelligent. That's what he told me.
I think IT was enjoyable for us as a little bit different stage of life to have a Younger couple interested in spending time with us, right? So there's something attractive, you know, about that. And we had a commonality and daughters the same age, and they enjoyed spending time with us. That was a fun, I think, for us, at least for me. I think as well that you know someone at that stage of life would be enthusiastic about spending some time with us.
There was always something you needed a lot of attention. IT was always something that was, oh, uh, just his mother's horrible. She's always going on and on about justice, mothers being horrible.
There's always some kind of drama working around. I thought that eeda was a horrible person based on everything I heard, and I called C. P.
S. Because i'm hearing from AManda about this terrible home that she's involved in. I was just horrified for the silk group.
So I did call C, P, S. And I told, demanded and curry after church one day. And a Mandy just got this look on her face.
And SHE looked at korean at a smile. SHE give cory this look. SHE give IT to him often. SHE wanted some kind of reaction out of him. And like.
that's how I saw at the time.
He was very thrilled that we had called cps. And then SHE had also asked me to go to court with her to speak in court. I would twice with her, and I got there.
I was really surprised how disorganize they were. There was no need for me to speak. There was no plan for me to speak.
And I didn't understand why I was there, other than I look like somebody supporting them, because nobody else was there. A leit was there with a large support group. There was a big group there in court for a leader and a manager had me.
I had A, A, A book that my daughter was reading called manners matter. IT was a book Steve's mother had given me for my daughter. Who knows how old this book was? IT wasn't a well known book. IT was a very good book.
But i've mentioned that my daughter was reading that book and AManda said, oh, just said and I read that book and I remember her looking at just a and SHE looked right out and SHE said, we read that book, didn't we? And then just a shoo her head caught on and and shook head and smiled. yes.
And I thought that's interesting. Like, how do you know about this book? You know what was in your mom's library for fina? I don't know how many years, so there were so always so many things out, but I caught the way he looked at at jasa and just seem to know when he needed to agree with AManda.
SHE called me her doubled ganger mother and he said, oh, you're mind me so much of my mom. You look so much like my mother. You are my miss so much of her.
All your house is exactly like her house. SHE has the same floor as a even coming back from the course, he said something about the duplex they were living in that they owit and cork. He looked at when he said, oh yeah, we owe this house and he kind of looked over rather. And I got the feeling that he was saying wanted to say that. There were just all these moments that I pick up these weird vibes.
Despite the weird vibes and the age difference, AManda inchy became more embedded into lee and Steve lives. In fact, when AManda initially found out, he was terminal least, and Steve was the first to know my birthday.
which is August twenty four, a man of he is in a really bad shape. SHE told me, SHE enough, if she's got me to make IT to my birthday party. And I had a very big birthday party.
That year was fun. I had two bands. IT was a really fun party, and I said, I understand.
I want to come for you at least I want to be there. Want to be there as well. You know, only if you're up to IT.
And I saw member SHE came and SHE looks so pretty and she's kind of standing there like she's in pain but smiling, stood there are very in a very fragile way and remember looking at her and just feeling such love for her as i'm looking at her like SHE dragged herself to my birthday party. I didn't expect her too, but he did. I just looked at her like he was just so fragile and precious.
SHE was smiling and I thought of all though, she's going to and she's can still smile, that beautiful, sweet, innocent smile. And then Steve tells me after the party was over that cory was talking to him and to another friend of ours and telling them that AManda was really sexy. Us didn't come to the party.
I remember quite distinctly tly that evening. Um where are having, just to know, fantastic time, celebrity said in, and a good group of people were there. We broke out cigars and I was having cigar with cory and couple of other guys.
And we're just in enjoying ourselves. That was somewhere night, perfect weather and a perfect evening. And korean, I and this other gentleman, Martin, were standing there together, just chatting. And the energy got this sort of look on his face that, okay, I got to, I got, I need to share with them and he said, Steve have tell you and Martin were stand right there as well and he said, AManda has staged for, she's progressed to stage for cancer. Like, oh my god, I so sorry and he was saying that they're telling anger that he does not have .
much time.
but just sort of blew away. I think both more than I took that that news just devastating ily they can understand why he might want to share IT in a night like that one. We're having a good time together in those kinds of things because we're with friends and his comfortable is having a cigar.
We're having scotch or something like that and just enjoy company. But you know, he came out with that. I was just .
so startling and .
looking at her sort of thinking, oh, SHE looks so rail .
SHE was walking slowly SHE seemed, I can explain that. I just remember looking at her and thinking, my god, she's like, she's like such an an Angel. yeah.
I felt really sad about that. I know that was as little as six months to live. That was a really bad. I cried a lot.
IT was after that when he was staged for and with months to live. I had just for the day I think was summer time. I think I had for the day as a man that was in the hospital.
Can you watch? I just am in the hospital, okay? And SHE said, i'll be there at. I said, well, we're just gonna be swimming or be in the pool.
We're going to be swimming, okay? And SHE came over after being in the hospital and SHE came in the pool. SHE came in the pool with me. I didn't know what he was in hospital, but he came in the pool. SHE had her hair pulled back in a poly telethon.
SHE had a little tiny, round band, little, one of those little tiny bandage behind, said AManda, why do you have abandoned behind your ear? But as well, which he goes, I was in the hospital this morning as having flew had drained off my brain. I thought, you know, first of all, you'd have a big bandage.
You wouldn't have a little tiny round when that comes in a banded pack. You know, these little is, I don't know if they still make them that small. The other was that nobody ever used, always the ones left over in the way in in the bandaid pack.
Anyway, he had one of those ripe behind her, and he. Told me that he had, through a drained off of her brain, the hospital. And i'm like, okay, and then SHE went underwater. So I underwater and that's when I just was like.
this is not right.
This is just not right. I even talk to a friend of mine who was on college students, stanford. I told her, I to ask you something, if you have flew ID drained off your brain, would you be able to swim after? SHE said, are you kidding?
I told that he, would you have a little tiny banded like, I like the little win? No, you'd have like a large bandage. Would you be a swim water? What are you kidding me? Like, seriously. no. So I do that.
That was a lie.
I just felt like this weird feeling like the lights went on at that moment. I just knew right then .
this was not right.
At this point, we should probably tell you that lisa and Steve new, AManda, before he started her blog, everything you just heard from them happened before the blog even started. The devastating news from coy that AManda only had months to live came in twenty ten. That's two whole years before AManda claims he was first diagnosed on her blog.
I call that my friend at stanford and I said, is impossible to find out if this girl is is enrolled my anf d and SHE goes, let me just double check and SHE is no like, okay.
AManda was about to drop some big news on lisa. Keep in mind, this was before the blog started.
She's had been through all this chemo therapy can have kids obvious she's dying in six months and she's pregnant.
Even though they told laser and Steve that he was terminally ill, AManda and coy fell pregnant for the first time. This was their very first baby. The same pregNancy that AManda told all her followers on her blog was how a cancer was discovered and diagnosed in the first place.
I did not wanna talk to her. I stopped answering her phone calls.
of course, her saying that he was pregnant.
That was a clue in my mind as well in terms of can you get pregnant? I mean, i'm not a doctor, but why would you get pregnant if you're like going through chemo and going through all these treatments and those types of things that can't be healthy, that can be good for you over the baby? So that was quite puzzling in my mind, but I was really surprised about how quickly things were changing in in leases perspective.
I just know.
And I was like, lisa, how do we know? How do you really, really know? They can? I astle said numerous times, how do you really, really note that SHE doesn't have cancer as SHE is saying?
I told Steve, I know he doesn't have cancer. I know he doesn't have cancer. SHE was calling me, and I was avoiding her calls.
I just was hoping you go away. I didn't want to have a confrontation with her. I really didn't. I just didn't want anything to do with her or her husband, and I didn't want to see them.
I want nothing to do with them in in fact, Stephen, I went to talk to our pastor because Steve was concerned that I, that maybe I was being unfair. And our pastor was, I still member him talking to both of us, and he was looking at each one of us as we were talking. He looked at me.
He looked at Steve. After IT then talking, he said to Steve, you need to trust your wife. He said, I always trust my wife and she's always right, is that you need to trust her. Her instinct .
from that .
moment on, he did I just thought, OK, i'm going to ignore her and she's gonna just go away. She's going to a, get the hand and go away. I don't want to have a confrontation with this woman.
I don't want to a talk to her. I'm so sick. But SHE kept calling. SHE kept calling and calling. I realized, okay, i'm going to have to just tell her reason why i'm not calling her back. I wasn't in the same thing, but I was going to a confront her with her lies and I had a list of them down at right next to the phone. So when he called me the next time I answered.
I don't .
remember if he blurted out SHE was pregnant first.
or I told her I can't be .
friends with you, but he said, so I have some really good news. I'm pregnant. And like, I thought you were dying.
I thought you were dying. Oh, the pregNancy is reversing the disease. I so he said. The pregNancy is reversing the cancer.
Commander is hosted and produced by me, charlie webster, and produced by Jackson clinton. AManda's blog posts are read by actor handle horn edit and the music by neo piller assistant producer casey hurts assistance editor seem a grey wall additional production support from Stephen sladen will hanger and the call urgent executive produced by me, charlie webster and Nancy muscatel o sander is a lies gate sound production engineer by pilgrim media group.