cover of episode No One Shows Up For AOC & Bernie Rally!

No One Shows Up For AOC & Bernie Rally!

2024/6/26
logo of podcast The Jimmy Dore Show

The Jimmy Dore Show

Chapters

Shownotes Transcript

- Hagerstown's longest running event, Augustoberfest, celebrates the rich German heritage of Washington County. Guests can look forward to the classic and authentic German food, artisan vendors, food and dessert trucks, and cornhole tournaments. You can dance to authentic German bands, including the rock band DSB.

♪♪

Hey, come see us on tour. I'll be in Davenport, Iowa, Las Vegas, Nevada, Chicago, Illinois, and Grand Rapids, Michigan. Go to JimmyDore.com for a link for tickets. Hey, this is Jimmy. Who's this? This is Hillary's supporter. Oh, hello, Hillary's supporter. Good to hear from you. What have you been up to?

I've been busy having a dispute with my landlord where I am clearly and obviously in the wrong. It takes a lot to make a landlord look like the aggrieved party, but I can do fucking anything.

Except go outside. I see. What's on your mind? Well, Hillary, of course, you silly fucking idiot. Did you watch the Tony Awards? No, it's not really my thing. Okay, that's homophobia coded, what you just said? That's an anti-queer dog whistle? It's giving hatefulness. Yeah.

No, it's not that. I'm just not into musical theater, that's all. Okay, you're making it worse. How about I don't watch any award shows? The Oscars, the Emmys, none of it. Oh, I don't watch those either. The whole idea of someone winning or being the best at something is essentially fascist and the result of a capitalist, imperialist mindset. But I make an exception for the Tonys because it seems bigoted not to. I see.

And boy, I'm glad I did because I was rewarded with the most wondrous surprise. Hillary. Hillary came out and made an appearance. And she was wearing the most splendid clothing. And she got a standing ovation from the crowd. Jimmy, it was just magical. Oh, God.

There's no bigger shit lives than the arts. There's no more horrible authoritarian ass. What was she doing there?

Okay, first of all, Hillary gets to go wherever she wants. You don't question her presence. But to answer your stupid and offensive question, she served as a producer on Suffs, which is a Broadway musical about suffragettes trying to get the 19th Amendment passed in case you ever wanted to kill yourself. Oh, okay, I got it. Thank you.

And Jimmy, oh my gosh, she was so brave. Oh my gosh. She said, quote, I know a little about how hard it is to achieve change. Like she said that, obviously a reference to Donald Trump. So brave. Yes, how courageous.

She said that on stage and on television. I am in awe of this woman. The whole thing was just magical. It really was. I really feel that she has a magical quality to her, something transcendent and ethereal. I think that's what her wardrobe is trying to tell us. Something supernatural is afoot with all our democratic female politicians. Are you serious?

Are you serious? Of course. Why wouldn't I be? Magic is in the air, but you wouldn't be able to detect it because you were a straight, cishet man. Oh, God.

But there is a real coven energy coming from our female leaders right now. No cap. A real coven energy. Kamala Harris is speaking in riddles. She's clearly channeling a mystic energy that she's in touch with that you mortals are not. Uh-huh. And did you hear about Cori Bush? I did, as a matter of fact, hear about that. Isn't that amazing? Uh-huh.

For you listeners who don't know, Cori Bush is also a pastor, and she was kind enough to reveal in an interview that one time she faith-healed a homeless woman with visible tumors which magically disappeared. So amazing! So you believe that? Of course I do, stupid! Are you a religious Hillary supporter?

No, I'm an atheist. Okay, so let me get this straight. You're not a Christian, but you believe in a Christian pastor's ability to wipe cancer away with prayer? If the pastor is a strong African-American woman, yes. Also, there's a little thing called Believe Women, hello? If a woman says she did something, that means it happened. End of story. That makes no sense.

Good. I don't want it to. If it doesn't make sense to a cishet male, that means it's true. Look, being atheist is allowed technically, but being atheist to or about black people is racist.

What? White people are not allowed to disagree with the faith assertions of black or brown people. Everyone knows this. That's why that interviewer sat there and said nothing. No shit. Her white ass knew that if she pushed back on magical black lady miracles, she'd never hear the end of it. As it should be, she sat her white ass down and listened. Well, you're probably right about that.

Right. Okay. So point being, magic is in the air. Hillary is dressing like a badass sorceress. And all this can only mean one thing. What's that Hillary supporter? Hillary Clinton will be our next president. Wow. How? Fucking magic. What do you mean?

I don't know, and it's not my place to know what I mean. That would be arrogant. All I know is the forces of the other world have aligned to bring justice to this one. So I would watch my ass if I were you, colonizer. How am I... All right, never mind. Has it really come to this? Your need to see President Hillary is so acute that you are literally relying on magic? Yes. Ha ha ha!

Okay, well, who am I to challenge magic? I suppose this is a harmless source of comfort for you as a Hillary supporter. I mean, I wish you well. Well, we need to get on with the show, so I'm going to let you go now, okay? Okay, goodbye.

Okay, just so you know, I've been doing a tarot reading the entire time I've been on the phone with you. And, uh-oh, oh, Jimmy Dore, I pulled a fake card for you and it doesn't look good. Looks like you're going to be hit by a bus. Okay. And also a silence card. You'll die unless you stop talking and leave women and let women speak.

If I were you, I'd stop talking. That's what these cards mean.

So they had a big rally for Jamal Bowman in the Bronx. When I say big, I mean they had a lot of land for people. In case it was big, it wasn't. It was Jabal Bowman. What if they threw an AOC? AOC was there and Bernie was there. And still nobody showed up. Hmm.

So, I mean, I don't know. Why do you think this is it? Bauman, AOC, and Bernie are only able to gather a crowd of about 200 people. If this was just Bernie and it was 2016, this place would be packed. Pro-Palestine protesters are here to call out the squad. It wasn't for the pro-Palestine, right? So here's a little bit. I'll give you a little video of it.

Here's a little video of it. And it's not just autoworkers. Bernie has stood with us in so many ways, from graduate workers who've organized in record numbers... Spinal tap had a better turnout. I think that's the same crowd-filling service that John Bolton uses. Come on. This is Amy Klobuchar-level enthusiasm. This is...

So they really, if it wasn't for the, so here's some more pro-Palestine. So there's the pro-Palestine protesters. And they have them, they have to put a fence up to keep them out. It's kind of an apartheid rally. Well, there's not even enough people for apartheid. There's not even enough people for apartheid. There's like a half court apartheid. Nobody showed up. Look at this. Wow. Here's what Bernie did in 2020.

In 2020, he was getting crowds like that? Yes. That's too much for them, I think. That was in 2020. I would think that's 2016. I'm pretty sure that's 2020. Why isn't independent going in for Jamal Bowman? That's what I want. Why isn't this supposed independent Bernie Sanders supporting Bowman? He's not an independent. He's a Democrat. And so here's the same. Now, here's Bernie's crowd now. That's what happens when you sell out to people. Mm-hmm.

When you tell people, hey, are you ready for a revolution? And it turns into, are you ready for a rationalization? Because that's what, that's what, so everything I've been saying about Bernie since 2016, this is the proof that I've been right and all the people who attacked me are wrong. And guess who else is wrong? AOC, Bernie, the squad,

They're all sellouts. And now you know why it's worse to have people like Bernie and the squad in the Democratic Party, because it gives people the false impression that there's someone in government that's actually going to fight for you. It would be better if they weren't in the Democratic Party and they weren't in government, because then people could give up on the system altogether and we could come together and form a real revolution, the kind Bernie Sanders was talking about in 2016, and we can take our country and our government back.

But because they have people like Jamal Bowman, people of color, people like AOC who pretend she was a waitress from the Bronx, people who do. We have those people inside the Democratic Party and we are elected. It gives people still buying into the two party system. And that's why it's worse. It's worse to have them in there than not. And this is something I tried to convince my friend Chris Hedges of.

It's worse that they're in government. It'd be better to have them not there because what we need is for people to get sick and tired

Of relying on government or thinking that someone in government is actually working for you so they can give up on the whole thing and we can start a whole new project and we can we can organize along class lines. And that means including Trumpers, just like Christian Smalls did when he started the first Amazon union on Staten Island with Trumpers.

Because it's not left or right anymore. This proves it's not left or right anymore. Based on this turnout, I'd say it's not left or right anymore. It's us against them. It's the establishment against us. It's the 1% against us. It's the war machine. It's Wall Street against everybody else. It's those of us not being blackmailed. Yes. So they're keeping them...

I just love they're keeping them barricaded against from a crowd that didn't show up. No. Is this as confusing as October 7th was to Hamas? Like, hey, nobody's here. AOC and Bernie threw a rally and nobody came. Yeah. No, it reminds me of their wedding nights. Anyway. Come on. Come on. I bet Bernie lays pipe, man. Oh, I'm sure he does. Yeah.

He writes a lot of interesting erotica back in the day. Oh, remember he would write that? Yes, he did. Why do women like to get slapped around so much? They like to be choked and slapped. Why is that? Look at how Russia has been hiring people to not show up. I know who's behind this.

Look at that. That's the kind of crowd Bernie Sanders used to get. That's the kind of crowd he used to get in the Bronx. That's the kind of crowd you see bum-rushing the border. You don't see it at all. That's the kind of New York crowd he would get. Now, this is the kind of crowd he gets. That's AOC, by the way. She's up there jumping around.

Like an idiot. It looks like she's busting her eye mask. I say centrism, you say hoop earrings. Centrism, hoops. Centrism, hoops. When I say skincare, you say lower standards on suntan lotions. Um...

Professor Zankes says, four years ago, Bernie Sanders held a rally with AOC in Queens that drew over 25,000 people. Today, both showed up at a rally for Jamal Bowman, and the place was empty. This is what happens when you make people believe you will fight for them, and then you don't. So good, Professor Zankes, good. They couldn't get Jack Black? He's been wrong on shit before. I pointed it out, but he's right on this one.

Good for Professor Zankes can get this one right. Maybe it would have helped if they didn't have Jamal Bowman there. I mean, I know it was his rally. Did they think of flying out Jack Black? That might have helped sales. Solid show. Maybe have De Niro do a guest spot. Make it a surprise. Have De Niro improvise a few words. That would be worth seeing. De Niro sputtering out his message with those two weird... What's she doing? Drinking water. Oh, is that where her water is? Yeah. Okay.

I thought she was eating pussy. I didn't know what she was doing. Carol Leonard says, Dear Bernie, thank you so much for everything you've done. Yours truly, the Democrats. I misread the yours truly. Oh, okay. So, Do Dissidents put together a very funny 18-minute video. I'll show you a snippet of it. And it shows you how ridiculous...

For the many, not the money. Well, the many aren't showing up because they're sick of hearing you lie to them. Bernie used to say, you ready for a revolution? Now he says, are you ready for a rationalization? Is that what it says? Many money? I can't see because I can't afford my prescription. Thanks, Bernie. For the many, not the money. That's what it says. I got a million dollars. I'm so disheartened. Boy, the last time I saw a crowd that big, they were bum-rushing the border. Yeah. Pretty much every weekend. Yeah.

Couldn't they even hire some illegal immigrants to stand in the crowd? I mean, come on. You got them there anyway. You probably just give them tickets and not even pay them. So let's listen to a little bit from Bernie Sanders.

Hillary Clinton will make an outstanding president, and I am proud to stand with her today. I wonder why nobody shows up at his rallies anymore. Yeah. Let's see. Not as proud as I am of Bernie. Oh, so proud. Oh, my God. So proud. Here we go. Thank you all very much.

So in the next four days, do everything you can. Knock on doors, get on the phone. Let us have a great voter turnout. Let's show the billionaire class they cannot defeat us. Let's win this election. Thank you all. I am asking all Americans, I'm asking every Democrat, I'm asking every independent, I'm asking a lot of Republicans to come together in this campaign to support your candidacy, which I endorse.

And so now you know why nobody shows up at these rallies. They're playing jump around. He could enthusiastically endorses the war machine. Bernie does enthusiastically endorses union busters. And then he tries to pretend he's on the side of workers. He's not. He's on the side of the establishment. Bernie Sanders is an establishment Democrat. No matter what he says.

You see where the rubber meets the road. He tucks his tail. He bends the knee. He bows his head. And he asks you to support your oppressors. That's who Bernie Sanders is. And that's why nobody shows up. And Jamal Bowman's the same. Did you think he was going to go, who didn't send you? Russia? Okay.

Is there anywhere that they'll be doing a Q&A, answering any questions? So this is Russell Dobular, and he's asking the campaign staff, hey, are they going to be taking any questions from the press or anything? We're at a rally. Does he have a child staff? What, are they getting younger and younger? No kidding, right? I guess you can't trick adults anymore.

Uh, here we go. Listen to what they say. It's from the press. No. So, uh, they skedaddled out. There was absolutely no way to ask them any questions. Believe me. I tried to get to them. It was totally impossible. Uh,

So that was it. You know, the billionaires, the billionaires, the billionaires, blah, blah, blah, blah. You probably heard the song before. We're going to take on the billionaires. Nothing about Hillary Clinton endorsing Latimer. So Hillary Clinton has endorsed Jamal Bowman's opponent.

So remember they used to say that, well, because Jamal Bowman is the incumbent and they hate, they said you can't ever, you should never primary an incumbent who's a Democrat because that hurts the party, that hurts the movement, that hurts everything because that's when progressives wanted to primary an incumbent. But now that the corporate-owned, AIPAC-owned candidate wants to primary a sitting Democrat, Hillary Clinton endorses the challenger.

Oh, this is the blowback from not giving full-throated support of Israel bombing the shit out of Gaza? And so none of those people, AOC, Bernie, Jamal Bowman, none of them mentioned Hillary Clinton endorsing the challenger. None of them mentioned that APEC owns the Democratic Party and that's why Hillary Clinton endorsed APEC.

Latimer. The guy's name is Latimer. Nobody, nobody, they didn't mention that on stage. There's still cucks to the party. Bernie, even at a rally that Hillary Clinton, they don't even mention her name. And that's a great point that he made. Clinton endorsing Latimer, of course. I'm not going to mention that. So I guess I'll just ask people some questions now. We'll air that on the show tomorrow. Why do you think Hillary endorsed Latimer?

Oh, because that's what she does. She's a conservative Democrat. She goes along to give a lot of support. So what do you think about it? No idea? All right, I have a theory.

Nothing. We just love AOC. We don't want to say anything bad about the Democrats. So she endorsed Bill Clinton. She endorsed Andrew Cuomo. Both ended up being accused of sexual assault of women. Can Latimer be far behind? Oh, I don't know. You think maybe that's her kink? Why do you think Hillary Clinton endorsed Latimer?

I don't know that much about Hillary Clinton. The answer is because APEC owns the Democratic Party, just like they own the Republican Party. That's the answer, but these people don't want to believe it. And he calls himself the leader of Jews for Jamal? Jews for Jamal. Right? Right? Watch this.

because I regard her as sort of an institutional candidate. That was not interesting for me in my politics. So I don't follow her at all. So I have no idea why she's a presidential candidate. Unless maybe she accepts a pack endorsement. That's likely. And we're putting our finger... I'm mainly interested in peace.

everywhere, particularly immediately in the Middle East, and I think the attack has made it clear that they're interested in prosecuting the war according to the

All right.

Well, Jamal in his speech talked a lot about AIPAC, but isn't he running against the Democratic Party, which is basically owned by AIPAC along with the Republicans? No, he's not running against the Democratic Party. He's running within the Democratic Party. AIPAC is the outside force. And they represent a mega-Republican. They represent anti-choice Republicans. Don't they represent Democrats?

No, no, AIPAC doesn't represent. He just got done saying that Hillary Clinton's going along with AIPAC. Of course they do. He didn't say he doesn't know anything about her. Then he said, I don't know anything about her. And then demonstrated that he did know anything. This is called cognitive dissonance, right? Isn't that what this is? Because everyone knows that AIPAC runs the Democratic Party. And he's like, no, they're just MAGA.

They're just MAGA. Well, they're outsiders, but then they pay money to become insiders. Do you remember the woman that we played where she has fed up and she had worked for Jamal? Yes. That's what I'm thinking of as I watch this. And Chuck Schumer? Chuck Schumer may have taken money from them and that's to his discredit. What about Richie Torres? Richie Torres should be primaried by someone from the left and defeated. Well, he's being primaried by Jose Vega as an independent.

Should Jamal Bowman run as an independent if Latimer wins? No, the Democratic Party does not belong to AIPAC. It's a right-wing interest. I got to go.

That's it. I got to go. This line of questioning is making me uncomfortable because it's making me face my cognitive dissonance that the Democratic Party are owned by the exact same people the Republican Party is owned by. Did he look like Jon Stewart in about 15 years? Yes, that's exactly what he looks like. And he'll be given the same answers. He had the same level of knowledge as Jon Stewart.

Palestine is almost free. Palestine is almost free. So those are the pro-Palestine protesters who came here to protest the squad. They weren't there to support them. Hilarious because the squad is being primaried by AIPAC. That's hilarious. They're getting it from both sides. Between Iraq and a hard place. Palestine is almost free. Palestine is almost free.

So these people are canvassing for AOC. Now, Russell goes to ask these people. Remember, this is at a political rally. They're all wearing AOC T-shirts. And he asked them, hey, can I ask you, I'm with the press, I'll ask you a few questions about AOC.

They don't want anything to do with them. Yeah. I wish I could see how young they were. Everybody looks, you know what's really creepy is like, oh, the people that worked for Bernie last time, they're all like, I'm not doing this. And then you see like these young sucker kids. Even younger people. Yeah, you got to find younger and younger suckers. Hey, Russell Dobby, Lord of the Incidents. Can I ask you a couple questions? No. No. No.

I thought you were out there campaigning. It's a strange way to campaign. None of AOC's people want to talk about her. I'm just going to say...

It is pretty fucking weird, man. You go to the MAGA people, they're ready to talk to you. They'll explain why. But they will not talk about AOC. So Russell went to Trump's rally in the Bronx. He goes, you go there, the MAGA people, they'll all talk to you. They'll tell you, explain to you what they think and why they like Trump. These people don't want to talk to anybody. Isn't that, that is beyond bizarre. And that shows you why no one's at this rally.

Why do you think the crowd is so small relative to what used to come out for him? Well, Bernie's not running for president. It's a really bad day. This is the Bronx where you don't see as much political activism. 18,000 people showed up at Bernie's rally in the Bronx. Yeah, anymore. You mean anymore. You forgot to say the last word, anymore. You forgot to say...

Jesus Christ. Listen to his next excuse why there's no one there. Ready for this? And all those factors, you know, it's a Saturday. It's a Saturday. A lot of ins, a lot of outs, a lot of what have you. It's a Saturday. You mean when people are off work? You mean that? It's a Saturday. What? That's when people would come out to a rally because it's on the weekend and they don't have to go to work. More people came out to protest the rally. That's right.

You want to go to the rally? Nah, I'd rather stay home and do nothing. Hey. What you doing? Eating chips. What you watching? Nothing. What you watching? All in the family reruns. That's what I'm watching. You want to go see fake progressives? Nah, I'd rather stay home and pick my toenails. Yeah. I don't know. You know, I was at the Queens rally. It was enormous. You're absolutely right. Okay. Now, listening to a speech, which was very impassioned, there was nothing there to really disagree with.

He's talking about AIPAC, but he's not talking about the Democrats that are owned by AIPAC.

Hillary Clinton is running against him. Bernie said all Democrats should reject that money. That's what I believe too. They are compromised, but it depends on the contours of the race. If you have Mondaire Jones against Michael, they're both taking APAC money. You have to just try to compete. Mondaire has changed his tune on a number of different issues and his emphasis on a number of different issues because otherwise, how are you going to win? There's a Hasidic block vote in Rockland County.

Well, same in Bowman's County. It's a very Zionist county. I don't know about Zionists. I know there's a large Jewish population. But you have the ultra-Orthodox. I don't know if you know anything about New York 17, but the rabbis are courted by John Boehner and Bill Clinton at the end of every election. Please, can you have our blessing? Because they vote in lockstep with the religious leaders.

All right, so if Latimer wins, would you support Bowman as an independent candidate? Would I vote for Bowman? Well, yeah, there's no Republican competition. This song is way better than the speeches. I agree. There we go.

So that was a great, it's a much longer video. It's very, very funny and well done. I encourage everybody to go watch that video at the Due Dissonance.

YouTube channel. But they really dug in like Nixon when he felt surrounded by the... They put like the buses around him. Yeah, remember that? You could see it's like a bunker thing. Like, don't tell them what our beliefs are. Yes. Yes. Yes. That is loser face if I ever saw it. Yeah. Hey, could I ask you a few questions with the meat? No. No, don't tell them anything. Scientology handles this better. Yes. They're less embarrassing. It's like, holy shit, you guys...

What are you embarrassed about? Why would you be afraid to talk to the media? That always blows my mind. That's why it was so funny when Jill Stein ran for me and Cornel West ran for me for months and months. What are they going to say? And now finally Jill Stein's campaign manager is like, okay, we'll go on Jimmy Dore. Hey, guess what? Don't want you. I don't need your bullshit.

pretend presidential campaign. Couldn't even get on the ballot in fucking New York State. The Greens couldn't even get on the ballot in New York State. You guys have been a party for 40 years. I've forgiven her for making Hillary lose. Hillary's a point of told me.

Jose Vega got on the ballot. First time he's ever run. He got on the ballot. Does she not want to be on the ballot? I think they don't want to be on the ballot. Hey, wait. Are there ever people not supposed to win? Something tells me you don't want to be on that ballot. Is this whole thing a farce? Anyway, they're just such a joke.

Hey, you know, here's another great way you can help support the show is you become a premium member. We give you a couple of hours of premium bonus content every week, and it's a great way to help support the show. You can do it by going to JimmyDoreComedy.com, clicking on Join Premium.

It's the most affordable premium program in the business, and it's a great way to help put your thumb back in the eye of the bastards. Thanks for everybody who was already a premium member, and if you haven't, you're missing out. We give you lots of bonus content. Thanks for your support. So get this. So Havana Hernandez tweets this out. She says, Massachusetts got an inside look at the migrant hotel 30 minutes outside of Boston where rooms are being rented out for illegal immigrants who

For $5,400 a month. That's a, if you have a million dollar property, that's what your mortgage is. Wow. $5,400. That sounds pricey for these units, but you got to understand the government has to pay extra to hide the illegal migrants in them. Am I right? Come on. It just sounds like trafficking with nicer containers.

$9 million in taxpayer dollars. $9 million in taxpayer dollars are going toward this hotel, and Boston has done a good job of hiding their migrant crisis by shipping illegals to smaller towns and cities throughout Massachusetts. Watch this.

What's up guys, this is Savannah Hernandez and I have stumbled upon one of the hotels that is being used to shelter migrants here in Massachusetts. Now I've been wanting to cover the Boston migrant crisis and one of the things that was interesting about it was the fact that the migrants are not very apparent in Boston. You're not going to see them on the street like you would in New York and I realized

That's because they are busing a lot of these migrants or transporting them throughout various cities and towns in Massachusetts. So for example, we're in Dedham right now, which is about 30 minutes outside of Boston. Again, you guys can see this hotel. It was a former Fairfield Inn and it is now being used to house migrants. And I was doing some research as well into

how much these hotel rooms are going for and they're going for $5,400 per month. So these migrants staying here, $5,400 per month, taxpayers paying upwards of, or almost $9 million to house migrants in this location. I was even reading some reviews online about how people had booked at this hotel and then their reservations were just canceled and they were told it's because migrants are now being housed here. And as you guys can see, there is, uh,

you know, quite a few of them out here kind of just hanging out. A couple of them have cars. $5,400 for these rooms. We talked to some of them and they were saying that the rooms are small. They're not getting enough bedding. They're not getting enough resources. They don't like the food. So this is one example of what's happening.

here in Massachusetts. Norfolk, another good example of how these migrants that you might see at the Logan Airport are being shipped throughout the state. So in Norfolk, that's a town of a little over 11,000 people and they have 450 migrants coming their way. So again, that's how they're kind of keeping this crisis a little bit more under wraps as opposed to what you might see in New York where the migrants are all sleeping on the street. They're busing them to all of these other little areas.

So what this means is if you were born in America, you fucked up.

So now Americans have to immigrate to another country, lose their citizenship, and then sneak back in so they can live in a luxury hotel. Well, the Fairfield Inn, I wouldn't take it too far. $5,400 a month. You ever stay in those? Fairfield Inns are nice. When we played in Massachusetts, that's where we stayed. It was nice. So at about $1.76, right? I think we paid $2.50.

Oh, okay. I was lowballing it. But I was adding it up just now in my calculator. What do you come up with? About six grand a month. So they're getting their hotel value, I guess, from the government. Isn't this right where David Sirota would have a meteorite hit us? Inside joke. So that's not only happening there. I can't believe I didn't have this other video in this segment. But they were shown in New York.

They were delivering brand new furniture to these hotels. They were empty. And so they got them. This seems crazy. This seems fucking crazy to me. Sounds like trafficking with nicer containers. That's what, yeah. This seems, I mean, again, I'm very pro-immigrant. I'm not telling people, make sure you're not angry at the immigrants.

But we've had homeless people all over this country, and they never did anything like this for the Americans who were homeless. So just like Cat Williams said on Joe Rogan, they're doing it right in their faces. Hey, look, Americans, look what we could have done all along. We could have done this. We could have had drug treatment programs for the drug addicts that are on the streets.

We could have housing for the homeless people who lose their houses. You know 40% of the homeless people in America have jobs and they live in their cars? We could have done this for those people who are actually working. But we don't do it. Why are we only doing it for illegal immigrants?

I'd settle for just not smuggling the drugs into the country to help make the people homeless in the first place, which is us doing it. It ain't China. Remember the crack that the CIA brought in and all those Chinese guns in the 90s? Yeah. That was the CIA. Do you think it's not them with the fentanyl epidemic? Of course.

So, again, this is as someone else said, this is to keep you on edge. People who are on edge are meant to be kept on edge. This is to make you beg for authoritarian rules and solutions to your problems. Asylum is a right. Massachusetts migrant benefit rights.

Could top $1 billion. But not mental asylums. Those people will be put in the street. No, those people will be put in the street. No, we don't mean mental asylums. No, no, no. That is expensive. The people who are schizophrenics, we throw them right in the street. If you're a drug addict and a schizophrenic, double E in the street. It's only a right if you cross here illegally or using the app, which also helps you cross illegally.

taxpayers are taking good care of the thousands of migrants who have arrived in Massachusetts since the start of the border crisis, the on-purpose engineered border crisis. I mean, you'd have to have a border for that, wouldn't you? Yeah. That prompted Governor Maura Healey to declare a state of emergency, a state of emergency last August. It does sound like a lot of taxpayer money, doesn't it? Sure. But think how much money we'll save in the long run if

By paying you less wages. You gotta spend money to make money, Jimmy. Because that's what the effect of this is. Having an open border and flooding the country with migrants lowers the wages of workers. So now they're pitting poor workers against even poorer people. As seen in Reason Magazine.

I always think that libertarian with the leather jacket. Yes, I know. Pearl Sagan hair. Yep. He loves open borders. Loves them. I'm telling you. And I don't just I if hey, if I was one of those people, I'd want to come here and live in a hotel paid for by the government, too. I'm not telling you to be angry at the migrants. I'm telling you to be angry at the establishment that works for a handful of billionaires that want to flood the country with immigrants right now.

Yeah. They're not only doing it here. They're doing it in England. They're doing it in Scotland. They're doing it in Germany. Poland won't do that shit. They ain't going to play that game. Neither will China. Yeah, right? Neither will Japan. South Korea is like, we're going to do it now, but I don't think they will.

So dozens of migrant families find shelter at Boston Logan Airport on a nightly basis, while hundreds of others occupy hotels, motels, and overflow shelters. CBS News Boston reported in February that the state had at least 17 contracts for housing, totaling more than $116 million. That was as of February. Nice.

Wow. Boy, I have to imagine how many better, more efficient ways there were of dealing with it than what they are doing. That means same as L.A. Somebody's some graft has somebody. Yes. Somebody's got to be paid off. Somebody bought that fair field in who's connected to the government, to the Democratic Party. And now they're reaping the benefits. Well, I wonder if they are. It seems like they're being paid the equivalent of the room price, but not even as much as it should be.

But it's full. Oh, okay. It's completely full every night, Kurt. Right, right, right. The station said the states, I bet they're also being paid to feed them. That's another contract. I hope they are. They're smuggling illegal. They're human trafficking. There should be some money in it. It's just like human trafficking. That's exactly what it is. The station said the state's right to shelter law requires it to provide families with refrigeration and basic cooking. What about all the homeless people?

You know what's crazy? What? I remember in New York, there was this one homeless guy who was like a problem. He was like a crazy guy. I don't even know if he was homeless. He was just annoying. But he would walk around. He would like walk around screaming and stuff. And he'd have these flies say, housing is a human right. And I remember being like, oh, this crazy guy. Housing is a human right. Shut up. No, they say that now as long as you're not from here. Yes. As long as you're not from this country, it's a human right. I stand corrected.

However, some accommodations do not have those appliances, leaving the state to contract out for food and delivery. Oh, creating jobs. Jesus Christ. You gotta be... Are you telling me the Boston area faces some corruption? Do you taxpayers get it yet? You are a cow in a stall being milked into uselessness. Yeah.

At least in the matrix, you get the option of a red or blue pill. These pills will be administered through mosquitoes without your consent. Media reports indicate vendors charge Massachusetts taxpayers $16 for breakfast, $17 for lunch, and $31 for dinner daily for each migrant the state feeds.

Wow. I wonder what welfare costs because people are mad about welfare. What are the costs? It can't be that much. I bet welfare is way more cost effective. If you just put them on welfare and state housing it would be probably more effective. Are they getting the bottled water from the airport? What the $31? $31 for dinner. One dinner. $31. Are they getting that meal at the fucking airport? Are you kidding me?

CBS News Boston says an East Boston drop-off catering company was awarded a $10 million six-month no-bid contract. That's the secret of great savings, the no-bid contract. That's how you know you got good government. Yeah. Yeah, so that's what I was talking about. I forgot the term, no-bid. No-bid. It's some kind of mob involved. No-bid!

Those benefits include assistance with housing, furnishings, food, basic necessities, clothing, transportation to job interviews and job training. Kurt assistance in applying for Social Security cards, registering children for school, using public transportation and community and cultural orientation. Hey, you know, you guys like no big contracts. The Soviet Republic of old.

A lot of no bid, no competition, political grant. How are we different than the fabled bad communists? Are they also going to help them with military registration? I think they left that one out. And will they adjust to the, I mean, probably tough as nails.

The Salem News reports Massachusetts has already reimbursed local school districts more than $10 million to help them cover the cost of educating the new arrivals. Fox Business says the total cost of the crisis is expected to cost hardworking taxpayers a billion effing dollars. Oh, but it's worth it to have your wages lowered. Well, you can look at it this way, Kurt. That's a billion dollars that we're not sending to Israel. Yeah, that's true. You can look at it like that.

That's true. Wow. Wow. Massachusetts pays millions to vendors in migrant crisis with little oversight. Who saw that coming? Oh, no. Who oversaw that coming? By the way, don't be mad at the migrants. If you're mad at the migrants, just keep this in mind. They're probably just plumping them up to...

To sell them to Oprah. That's a fair point. A fair point when you're mad at migrants. They're probably sold to very wealthy, very insane people for real sick shit.

Okay. Wow. Kurt, how was your weekend, by the way? You were up in, where were you telling jokes at, Vancouver? Yeah. Was it British Columbia? Was it British Columbia? New Westminster. Oh, your shows are all good. I love all those Rick Bronson clubs. But one of the guys, one of the comics is telling me how his daughter was getting bullied in school because they have a lot of Somali immigrants in this one part, right? Yeah.

He goes, yeah, the guy bullied my dog to the school and they won't do anything because he's Somali. I'm like, well, I don't know what kind of bullying. He was slamming his daughter's head into a desk repeatedly. Like that's not bullying you.

That's assault. That's felony assault. I've heard this in Canada many times where people equate bullying with something insane and they also won't do anything about it because it's like not... Trudeau is a maniac. I mean, he really is. I know. And there's all these people there that are like... I mean, I like to cram this up, but there's a bunch of people that are like, oh, it's okay. We don't notice.

They also, so smashing someone's head into a desk is bullying. They also call bullying if you respond to a heckler. Those are the same things. Well, you know, I think they don't have as many mass shootings and the zero tolerance at schools. Like when my brother went to school, when I was in school, there was fights and stuff. My brothers in school, they had no tolerance. You're not allowed to touch nobody because of the shootings. Right. So Canada didn't really have that.

So that's where they still have that loose interpretation of bullying. Then you add the DEI bullshit to it. Now it's insane. It's like he could beat up a girl, this kid. Canada has lost their... The United States has lost its mind. Yeah. I mean, this story proves it. But Canada is even worse. They're nuts.

They've turned into Nazi Germany and they don't even realize it because they've criminalized words and thoughts. But slamming someone's head into the desk is okay. A girl, a young girl. You can't tell a kid. These are small kids. Yeah. You can't tell a small boy because he's an immigrant not to slam the girl's head into the desk. All right. That's the school. They don't have any say in that. Okay. That's it for today. So we're going to be in Davenport, Iowa this Friday.

See you there, eh? Where are you going to be, anywhere? Oh, Thursday I'm at the Irvine Improv. Oh, look at that. Really? Yeah, it was a lot. I don't know what happened. I know what happened. Tiffany Haddish canceled? No, I did. It's your old date I'm doing. June 27th, Irvine Improv.

The one you can't do. The one I can't do that. I can't do that. Yeah. So I'll be handling that. Nice. Yeah. I'm doing all your jokes. Don't worry. Wow. Well, look at that. I will be doing your set like Gallagher too. And my dad will be siding with you. So if you don't know who this is, this is Nathan Wade. Yeah. So he's one of the top. He was one of the people hired.

to prosecute Trump in Atlanta, hired by his lover, Fannie Willis. Nice. And paid way more money than any of the other prosecutors. They were all making 200 grand. He was making over 600 grand. And then he was taking her on trips all around the world. Who was doing this? One of the top prosecutors prosecuting Trump in Atlanta, hired by the Attorney General, I think, of Atlanta.

Of Georgia. Fannie Willis. Is that her title? DA. District Attorney Fannie Willis. Look at what her title is. I don't think it's the same as Attorney General. So...

She's the district attorney of Fulton County. Hired this guy, her lover at the time. And then they lied about it, right? Because it was... So she paid him way more. And so here he is lying under oath about the affair. They lied about the affair. And she didn't need to... If they hadn't been so squirrely, none of this would have happened. They could have easily... You can hire your lover. There's no law against it. So let me show...

But they were, Kurt. They decided to lie, and they lied on their oath. And here he is lying. So watch this. They asked him. They caught him because he booked cabins, and they would go to Louisiana, I think, and they would have fuck fests at a cabin, right? Noice. Noice. And so watch him. This is what a guy looks like when he's caught lying, and he just lies. Watch. For a thousand pages of records. I'm asking if you remember paying for a cabin six months ago in Tennessee. I like the face.

I'm really trying to think. Who's there I can't see too well in my old age. So let's watch how funny this is and then I'll get to the real thing I want to show you. There's a new video and I want to show you it. For a thousand pages of records, I'm asking if you remember paying for a cabin six months ago in Tennessee. No. You remember booking a cabin? I booked lots of cabins. What? Did you go to a cabin with Miss Willis ever? Ever. Ever. Who? Who?

Give me a sniff. Great job. Great job. Keep going. Keep going.

No. Why would you? No. Okay, you're... I don't understand this. So they ask him about this at his next CNN interview, and this is what happened. Clarify. When did the romantic relationship between the two of you start? Yeah, so, you know, we get into...

There's been this effort to say that, okay, these exact dates are at issue and these exact dates are, I'm getting signaled here. What is this? I'm getting signals.

you don't work this out beforehand do i go off mic for a second yes okay keep rolling what is happening you didn't see this no yeah hey guys the time is before the interview yeah no we'll do it live this is how dumb the people are who are prosecuting trump how does he prosecute cases he he

If you know you're going on the stand for a kind of serious thing, they don't go when they ask you if you go in a cab and say no and don't take a minute. And then in the middle of an interview, he just gets up. I got to consult. I can't answer this question. Ha ha.

Everything OK? Yeah. Yeah. Everything's OK. No, no, it's not. So now he decided to go on. So because these people are all the exact thing they claim Trump is, they're all they're all celebrity whores. They're attention whores. They all want celebrity. They all want money.

He went on Comedy Central to do an interview. I didn't even know that was still a channel. How stupid. I didn't know it was either. How stupid. So Citizen Free Press tweets this out. He's going to regret this. You think? Let's watch. Turn it up just a little. So let me ask you. When old girl was like, hey, babe, you want to be in charge of this prosecution of the president of the United States who did this insurrection? Did you think, like, this could get messy?

Or you was like, nah, I'll be all right. We did not have that type of relationship at the outset. And we were interviewing other people for the position. What position was it? It was only the position. Did that position look like this? Or did that position look like this? So no.

After Wade resigned as special prosecutor, Trump's law dogs still try to use their relationship to get the case thrown out. They compelled his ass to testify and grilled this a**hole. Did you go to a cabin with Miss Willis ever? Boca homie had asses. Ever? Ever. ... ... ...

No. You're not booking a cabin. I book lots of cabins. My question is, when you're booking all these cabins, so, so, so... How many district attorneys you be smashing in cabins? Zero. Is it Airbnb or Verbo? Where you be getting all these cabins from? That's what my people want to know. Where do I get them?

Who is that dude? I don't know, but that was hilarious. He did that good. That was... Was you an old girl? That was... When you were an old girl, we're in the cabin. That's amazing. He turned his head on his wife. So apparently Nathan Wade's handlers are punking him just so they can laugh at him.

Cause that's, he's got handlers. I'll bet they assumed that it was like, Oh, he's a journalist of color. So it'll be like a cake, you know, I bet it's some stupid thing like that. And this dude's being pretty funny. Like I, it's almost like back in the old days, daily show. And you'd be like, why did you agree to come on here? Remember that?

Why would you? So it's like, what's the thought process here? I totally ate it in every other interview I've done. I know. Let's go on Comedy Central. You know, the place that does the roasts. I bet that'll work out for us. They're bent towards Biden. That's how he probably felt. That's how you thought the Daily Show for a while has been a Biden. You know, of course it is. Trevor Noah Daily Show.

Oh, that's right. I bet you that's what they thought it was. This is funny. But they thought, but I mean, CNN was also friendly and they, and they totally fucked it up. It really is bizarre. Like, I can't believe after the, you know, the first couple disastrous outings there, they haven't had someone coaching him. I can't believe it either. And then they're like, no, we'll just do it the day of the live CNN thing. We'll just wing it.

And then stop the interview and send him back. Not even an earpiece? Not even an earpiece. How dumb is this dude? You can't work with him? That's pretty dumb. These are the people who are prosecuting Trump in Atlanta. How did he pass law school? That's what I thought. What is this? I always thought it was hard. Am I a lawyer? I always thought it was really hard to pass the bar, but look at these people are fucking apathetic.

Transparent morons. He's a moron. I'll be a lawyer if you want. Just tell me the thing you're saying. Tell me before. I won't fuck it up on the day of. I book lots of cabins. You book lots of cabins? You're a lawyer. What do you mean you book lots? I book lots of cabins. What? Maybe he has like a sponsorship with some kind of app. And that's what he asked him. Cabin, yeah. Is it Verbo or is it Airbnb? Airbnb.

And I, he says, I, if you book lots of cabins, the way these apps work, there's a firm record of all the cabins. You can get out the ones on the day in question. In fact, I would with my legal team. Oh, that's Marlon. That's Marlon. That's my, and he's doing a character. I didn't recognize him at all. I didn't either. This guy kind of looks like Marlon Wayans, but I didn't think it was Marlon Wayans. Wow. That was funny.

Yeah, what's going on? What happened, Mark? I know. I've met him. I like him. He's an ex-Jehovah too. Oh, no kidding. Yeah. I never met him. I don't know him. I never saw him. Anything that he did. Did he do movies too? Didn't they do? Yeah, he did a shit ton. But he looks very different to me for some reason. Is he a clone? I bet you Nathan Wade just wanted to meet him. I bet you that's why he did it. Yeah. Yeah.

I bet you that's why he did it. Well, that was funny. That was really funny. Yeah, that really made me laugh, man. Wow. Wow. You want to watch it a little bit? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So let me ask you, when old girl was like, hey, babe, you want to be in charge of this prosecution of the president of the United States who did this insurrection? Did you think, like, this could get messy? Or you was like...

Nah. We did not have that type of relationship at the outset. And we were interviewing other people for the position. What position was it? It was only... Did that position look like this? Or did that position look like this? So, no.

After Wade resigned as special prosecutor, Trump's law dogs still try to use their relationship to get the case thrown out. They compelled his ass to testify and grilled this hard. Did you go to a cabin with Miss Willis ever? Boca homie had asses. Ever? Ever.

No. You're not booking a cabin. I book lots of cabins. My question is, when you're booking all these cabins, so, so, so... How many district attorneys you be smashing in cabins? Zero. Is it Airbnb or Verbo? Where you be getting all these cabins from? That's what my people want to know.

Where do I get them? That's really good. I didn't recognize him because he's in character. Hey, become a premium member. Go to JimmyDoreComedy.com. Sign up. It's the most affordable premium program in the business.

Don't freak out. Don't freak out. All the voices performed today are by the one and only, the inimitable Mike McRae. He can be found at MikeMcRae.com. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. That's it for this week. You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me. Don't freak out. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't

Do not freak out.