Chapters
Shownotes Transcript
- Hey, come see us on tour. We'll be in Chicago, Grand Rapids, Michigan, Duluth, Georgia, right outside of Atlanta, Jacksonville, Florida, Tempe, Arizona, and Burbank, California. Go to JimmyDore.com for a link for those tickets. - Hey, this is Jimmy. Who's this? - Jimmy, this is Governor Tim Walz of the great state of Minnesota. - Hey, Governor, what can I do for you? - Jimmy, I have one word for you.
What's that? Wow. Just wow. I tell you what, the past few days, getting the nod, going to rallies, seeing the response from voters, just wow. Me and my whole family are just really taken aback. It's amazing. Wow. You sound very excited. Jimmy, excited doesn't even begin to cover the basis. I'm not only excited, I'm eager.
Eager to get to work for Kamala and the American people, but also eager to confront the attacks of my opponent's head on. Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah. J.D. Vance, like I said, I can't wait to debate that guy. Won't that be something else? Wow. We really are bringing back the joy.
I see. I see. And don't get me wrong, J.D., who is not J.D. Vance. I won't be just going on the defensive. I'll be going on the offensive, too. Much like football, politics is a game with offense and defense. I used to be a football coach. Did you hear that? Yeah, I did. Wow. So I will be going...
So I will be going after Donald Trump and his record. I will be going after J.D. Vance and his overall disingenuousness. I will be going after the invasive policies of the GOP, which has no respect for women's rights or bodily autonomy. In short, like I said at the rally, mind your own business.
You know, if I'm not mistaken, Governor, during the COVID lockdown, you initiated a tip hotline so people could snitch on their neighbors if they were violating COVID rules in their own homes. That's none of your business. The decision to do that was between me and my constituents, that I was trying to turn on each other like so many rabid jackals.
And I realized I just spelled jackal like the band, not the animal. Jimmy, I make no apologies for my progressive record. I do not and I will not shy away from it. Do you know why? Why? Because every one of the positions that I have, I have because I listened and learned. I sat my privilege took us down and listened to people. For example, from my students, I learned that they learn better when they have bellies full of nutritious food.
which is why later as governor, I passed a bill providing free breakfast and lunch for all children in Minnesota schools. That's nice. From my purple and green haired constituents, I learned that 12 year old boys can menstruate. Wow. From my wealthy liberal white friends, I learned that African-Americans actually want their communities burned down if it happens during a riot.
From Kyle Cease, I learned how to be a million-dollar headliner. There's not a goddamn thing I haven't fallen for, and I'm proud of it. So yeah, I'm the lefty governor. The one with the snitch line. What about it? That's me. And you know what? I will continue to learn. I'm always looking around for new progressive ideas to learn about.
Over in the UK, they have a new prime minister, Keir Starmer, and he's got really good progressive ideas that are growing on me. Maybe if someone goes on Facebook and posts, I don't like crime, maybe the police should come to their home and arrest them. I don't understand it, but you know what? That's not my job. My job is to listen and then just do the new thing without thinking about it too much. Wow. If you and Kamala Harris win...
what do you envision your role being in the white house well like i said i'm here to help kamala that's how i see my role and honestly that's how i got this job can you elaborate on that a little uh yeah well the other guy they were considering shapiro people seem to think that he didn't get chosen because he's a zionist maniac with a ton of other baggage
Well, that had nothing to do with it. If you think the Democratic Party is effective enough to make some sort of reasoned calculation, i.e. number of moderates we'd gain with Walls versus number of leftists we'd lose with Shapiro, you're out of your mind. I wish there was that sort of wisdom. Well, what was the deciding factor then? I said, madam, I'm here to help. And the other guy had questions.
That's literally it. Rubbed her the wrong way. He wanted to know what his role in the White House would be, what the vice president actually does. And you do not ask Kamala Harris questions that she does not know the answer to. It makes her feel cornered. So it was curtains for Shapiro. That's kind of shocking. Well, Jimmy, between you and me, we're dealing with a real sort of Queen Bee type situation. Pleasing her is now everyone's main job.
If they want to keep their job, that is. Her staff is more really an entourage at this point. I just know how to play along. Well, I hope you get to do something useful. Honestly, I'm fine either way. Just going with the flow, enjoying the ride. I mean, hell, I had to read a teleprompter yesterday. I had never used one before. I had to learn how to use it.
You just simply read it as the words go by. Yeah, but it looks like the words are floating. It's crazy. Wow. Wow, you sound like a bit of a maniac and very excited. Can we expect to hear more from you? Oh, yeah, but I better go now. It's about 2.30. We're due for Kamala's daily early afternoon meltdown.
This one's usually about food, salt, or seasoning or something like that. Later in the day, the meltdown is usually about physical comfort in some way. And boy, I'm telling you, Jimmy, that one is a lot nastier. It's a real dish breaker. But hey, I'm just getting the hang of it and trying to stay out of the way. I'll keep you posted. Bye, Jimmy. Okay, bye, you fucking maniac. ♪♪
Now here's Mersheimer, the guy who's the leading authority on this stuff. And he's going to tell you that actually Israel's in a pickle. Let's listen.
What you want to understand here, and I think this is something that most Americans don't understand. Please explain. Israel is in really deep trouble. It's in really deep trouble today. And more importantly, it has no way out. They were unable to defeat Hamas in Gaza, number one.
Number two, they're stuck in Gaza. They're not getting out. And you remember, they left in 2005 because it was a hornet's nest. They're back in there. Number three, they have no meaningful military solution against Hezbollah. They cannot defeat Hezbollah.
And with regard to Iran, even if they get into a war with Iran and they launch lots of missiles and rockets and aerial attacks at Iran and do a lot of destruction, Iran will still be there. And Iran, by the way, is on the road to acquiring nuclear weapons. So they have all of those external problems. Then they have these wicked internal problems, which we saw
on display earlier this week surrounding these nine reservists
who were arrested for gang raping a Palestinian prisoner. And by the way, that's just the tip of the iceberg in terms of the horrors that the Israelis have been inflicting on the Palestinians. But anyway, these nine reservists who engaged in this gang rape were arrested. And the end result is that over-rightists broke in to two different army bases.
to reverse this arrest. And if you look at the performance of the police and you look at the performances of the reservists in the IDF, some of whom joined with the protesters, you see that the Israelis run the real risk down the road of a civil war. And finally, you want to understand that what's on display these days is manifest evidence that Israel is heavily dependent on the United States.
They cannot fight these wars. They cannot continue like this without American support. We have given them $18 billion in 2024. Just think about that. $18 billion. And we helped them in their military fight with Iran on April 14th. We are giving them all sorts of weapons. They need us. They need us to provide diplomatic support.
This is not quite the independent country that Israel likes to think of itself as. It is heavily dependent on the United States. So when you take all of these factors into account, you then ask yourself the question, how can they get into this?
Hezbollah in Lebanon? Are we serious? They did this in 1982. They did it in 2006. It was a disaster. Their army is worn out from what's happened in Gaza where they haven't beaten us. They would be insane to invade Lebanon.
Even if we were to help them. So how do they fix that problem? How do they fix the problem in Gaza? All these problems are unfixable. They are in trouble and they're digging deeper. And the reason they're digging deeper and the reason these... And we'll never know what that reason is because that's where that video clip ends. I mean, Israel is... First of all, I want to believe everything he said.
uh i would i would like to think that israel is in deep trouble uh i think they are in deep trouble i think what he said is correct uh but what's gonna happen is the united states is gonna go start world war three in the middle east for them and that was my big problem with rfk jr rfk jr has so much good things so many good things to say such a much needed voice of sanity and then he goes along with this world war three thing in the middle east it's crazy uh
So that's what's happening right now. And guess who's in charge of the country? Demented Joe Biden. Do you think he's really making these decisions to send the aircraft carrier over to the Middle East to help defend Israel? Do you think he's the one making those decisions? Or is it the crazy neocons in the Democratic administration? So those are not liberals. Those are not lefties. Joe Biden's administration is full of neocons.
war-mongering authoritarian neocons and bloodthirsty and willing to do anything. By the way, they're puppets. They're puppets of the military industrial complex. They're puppets of Israel. They're puppets of Wall Street. They're puppets of big pharma. Again, you don't live in a democracy. Do you really think democracy is happening right now? Because the party who says that they're trying to restore democracy to you won't even let you vote to see who was their presidential candidate.
So I'm getting a little off track here. And by the way, there's a civil war. If it wasn't for this war, because Benjamin Netanyahu does not want this war to end, the Gaza war. That's why he's trying to expand it. Because as soon as it ends, he got to go on trial for his criminality that they want to prosecute him for in Israel. And it covers up the fact that there's a burgeoning civil war starting inside Israel. Israel in deep trouble. You like to hear it.
You want to understand here, and I think this is something that most Americans don't understand. Please explain. Israel is in really deep trouble. It's in really deep trouble today. And more importantly, it has no way out. So...
Definitely if Kamala Harris becomes president, they have a way out. The United States will give them endless money. We've already given a couple of hundred billion dollars to Ukraine. Why wouldn't we do the same and give the complete use of our military to Israel to start World War III in the Middle East? Why wouldn't? Of course they would. If Donald Trump becomes president, it looks like he'll probably do the same. You have to cross your fingers that Donald Trump is blustering
When he does his over-the-top rhetoric. Because I found that videotape of him saying that he found out that it was Benjamin Netanyahu that didn't want to have a peace deal with the Palestinians. He thought all along it was the Palestinians that were maniacs. It turns out it was Benjamin Netanyahu. And I found another videotape of him saying F Benjamin Netanyahu. F BB. That's what he said. Fuck him. So there's a sliver of a chance that Donald Trump
is over-the-top rhetoric is so he could get donations from Sheldon Adelson and his wife, and that it creates space for him to create a peace deal.
You can't deny that the deep state did Russiagate against Donald Trump. You can't deny that they impeached him twice. You can't deny that they did January 6th. Well, some people can deny that, but that was an inside job. That was a PSI op in order to criminalize his political organization and try to make him a criminal so he couldn't run for president again.
And you can't deny that they do. They have 92 felonies against them, one just as ridiculous as the next, that they're doing lawfare against them to keep them off the ballot. And you can't deny that there was an assassination attempt that just got them. Now, that doesn't happen if the deep state likes them. The deep state lied for Joe Biden. They lied for Kamala Harris. They won't lie for Donald Trump. In fact, they do Russiagate against Donald Trump. So that's what gives me the tiniest sliver of hope.
that if donald trump becomes president there's a title that he might force a deal probably not probably not it's probably a pipe dream but there is absolutely no hope if kamala harris is elected president there's no hope she's going to be joe just like joe joe biden
when it comes to the war machine, when it comes to Ukraine, when it comes to Syria, when it comes to Yemen, when it comes to Palestine, when it comes to Hezbollah, when it comes to Iran. She's going to be just like Joe Biden. He's controlled. She's not making decisions, just like Joe Biden isn't making decisions. So that's the problem. So he is right that
Israel is in deep trouble, but they have an ace up their sleeve. Their ace up their sleeve is they control the United States government and our use of our military. That's their ace up their sleeve. So he is right.
Let me hear a little bit more. They were unable to defeat Hamas in Gaza, number one. Number two, they're stuck in Gaza. They're not getting out. And you remember, they left in 2005 because it was a hornet's nest. They're back in there. Number three, they have no meaningful military solution against Hezbollah. They cannot defeat Hezbollah.
And with regard to Iran, even if they get into a war with Iran and they launch lots of missiles and rockets and aerial attacks at Iran and do a lot of destruction, Iran will still be there. And Iran, by the way, is on the road to acquiring nuclear weapons.
They have all of those external problems. Then they have these wicked internal problems, which we saw on display earlier this week surrounding these nine reservists who were arrested. So, yeah, so they have a burgeoning civil war inside Israel and outside they have all these wars that they can't win.
But again, the ace up the sleeve is they have the United States government in their back pocket and endless amounts of money, no matter how much they need, and endless use of our military. There ain't nobody going to stop that. Hey, you know, here's another great way you can help support the show is you become a premium member. We give you a couple of hours of premium bonus content every week.
And it's a great way to help support the show. You can do it by going to JimmyDoreComedy.com, clicking on Join Premium. It's the most affordable premium program in the business. And it's a great way to help put your thumb back in the eye of the bastards. Thanks for everybody who was already a premium member. And if you haven't, you're missing out. We give you lots of bonus content. Thanks for your support. ♪
This is from Truthout. Top Israeli official, quote, morally justified to starve 2 million to death in Gaza. I'm not making that up. I'll show you the video in a second. A top Israeli official suggested on Monday that he believes it is morally justified for Israel to wipe out Gaza's population through famine and starvation.
in chilling statements that pro-Palestine advocates say openly indicate genocidal intent. You think? So let's listen. Well, I'll read it to you. So let me turn this down. I turned down my volume because I don't need to hear this guy. I'll read it to you what he says. He says, we are bringing in humanitarian aid. Hang on. I got to start again. He's going fast. We are bringing in humanitarian aid because we have to, he says.
It is impossible in today's global reality to manage a war. No one in the world will allow us to starve to death 2 million citizens. Oh, chagrin. 2 million. That sounds very, what's the word I'm looking for? Holocaust-y. That sounds very Holocaust-y. Here we go. So he wants to starve 2 million people. Let's watch.
Although it may be just as moral to kill 2 million people. Okay? By the way, those are civilians. He's not talking about combatants. He's talking about women, babies, children, senior citizens, grandparents. That's what he's talking about. As long as they don't return our hostages, humanitarian for humanitarian, he says. That makes it moral.
It is morally right, but there's nothing we can do. The world won't let us starve 2 million people. By the way, they pretty much are doing that. We live today in a space where international legitimacy is needed for this war. I don't think they have it. I don't think they've had international legitimacy for this war. So there he is. Isn't that nice? He laments, ah, too bad we can't just kill 2 million people by starving them.
Speaking at a conference hosted by the far-right Israel Hayom newspaper, Israel Finance Minister Vazala Smotrich complained about having to allow humanitarian aid into Gaza, saying that international norms are stopping Israel from taking what he claims is the moral path of serving 2 million Palestinians to death. Humanitarian in exchange for humanitarian aid. I just showed you that.
His mention of 2 million civilians appears to be in reference to Gaza's pre-genocide population of roughly 2.2 million people, including 600,000 children.
Smotrit's statement represents yet another brazen and horrifying call for the annihilation of Palestinians in Gaza, with Israeli officials repeatedly issuing public calls for mass death and ethnic cleansing over the course of their genocide. The comment is indicative of Israel's intent to commit genocide. Yeah, that's what, yeah, uh-huh.
Although Israeli officials have insisted in public statements that they are simply hunting down Hamas soldiers, many reports have indicated that Israeli military considers any Palestinian adult or child to be a potential Hamas soldier. This is also evident from the vast civilian death toll of Israeli's indiscriminate extermination campaign so far.
Once again, we hear a top Israeli government official saying the quiet part out loud, said the Council on American Islamic Relations. If the Biden administration can't bring themselves to take action to stop the genocide, forced starvation, ethnic cleansing, and mass destruction of civilian infrastructure, they should at least be able to condemn the genocidal statements that Israeli officials have made.
have been making since last year. Not gonna happen. Smotritz is also in charge of a plan to accelerate the Israeli settlement of the occupied West Bank and appeared to warn that the West Bank is next in Israel's crosshairs.
As Israel has undertaken its genocide in Gaza in the last 10 months, it has also vastly accelerated its colonial violence in the West Bank, killing Palestinians there at the fastest rate in decades.
Earlier on Monday in a post on social media, Motriz also said that Israel is working to remove the threat of Palestinian statehood through its settlement expansion in the West Bank, saying that he opposes the idea of a Palestinian state outright. So those occupation of the and those settlements, those are illegal in the West Bank. Those are all illegal. OK, OK.
Israeli leaders have referred to their genocide in Gaza as a way to mitigate the threat to Israel posed by Palestinians. You know, the threat by guys in hang gliders and Adidas shoes and flip flops. That threat.
That threat, stopping the Arab takeover of the open areas, fighting the terrorist financing of the Palestinian Authority and its leaders, and complete Israeli control of the territory, meaning the occupied West Bank. This is the only way, Smotris said.
max blumenthal says hey if you like the zionist government minister vasily smotrich's call to exterminate two million palestinians to if if you liken i'm sorry if you liken the zionist government ministers call to eliminate two million palestinians to nazism mark zuckerberg's meta will censor you for hate speech are you kidding me well that's what it says right there it says
Facebook says it will remove more posts using Zionists as a term some use interchangeably with Jews. France and Germany slam Israel's smotrets for comments on starving Gazans to death. Hey, who's missing from that headline? France and Germany slam Israel. Oh, the UK is missing and the United States is missing.
The UK and the United States not slamming Israel's smotrets for comments on starving Gazans to death. Isn't that interesting? Smotrets might be justified and moral to cause 2 million Gazans to die of hunger, but the world won't let us. There it is.
Let's see if, is that it? Oh, here it is. Meta says it will remove more posts attacking Zionists, a term some use interchangeably with Jews. Isn't that amazing? That's amazing to me. Meta says it will remove more posts attacking Zionists. So you can't attack Zionism on Facebook? I've been calling Zionists Nazis on Twitter since this war started, which is why nobody in Hollywood will touch me with a 10-foot pole right now.
Thank God for Rumble. Seriously. Yeah. So there it is. Mark Zuckerberg is now going to, you can't attack Zionism. They're saying that's anti-Semitic. No, Zionists and being Jewish are two totally different things. Some use interchangeably. Yes, some do. So, but that's, so what? Wow. That's really happening.
Tim Walz falsely believes that freedom of speech guarantee doesn't include what he considers to be misinformation or hate speech. This will bother almost no Democrat supporters because they're all for censorship. The Democratic Party is no longer what Democrats are supposed to be. They become authoritarian fascists because that's what that is. The hallmark
of dictators and authoritarians and fascists is censorship. One of our founding fathers said the price of liberty is eternal vigilance. And so you would never guess the people who consider themselves on the left would turn into authoritarian pro-censorship maniacs mandating experimental medical treatments on people. And if you want to talk back about it on social media, they'll censor you.
uh but as you want to hear here's uh here he is being proud of squashing dissent squashing free speech this is this is him doing that let's see if i can find this uh how do i do this here we go i think we need to push back on this there there's no guarantee to free speech on misinformation or or hate speech and especially around our democracy there's no guarantee to free speech
On misinformation, who decides what's misinformation? Oh, that's right, the government. And who's ever running Facebook? And who's ever running Twitter at the moment? And who's ever running? So the government does, right? So they're going to decide the biggest liars in the world. Remember, the biggest purveyors of misinformation is the government. Second is the corporate media. And a distant third are randos on social media.
So this is him saying, we got to protect people from misinformation. No, you don't. I'm a grown up. When I watch the TV news, I know it's all misinformation. I don't want you to stop them. I don't want you to use censorship. Let's play it again. I think we need to push back on this. There's no guarantee to free speech on misinformation or hate speech, and especially around our democracy.
There's no guarantee to free speech, especially around our democracy? Isn't that contradictory? It sounds contradictory to me. Glenn Greenwald understands it. I'll play it one more time for you. I think we need to push back on this. There's no guarantee to free speech on misinformation. Of course there is, because there's no one there to determine what is misinformation. What are you going to do? Are you going to have the government do it? Are you going to have Mark Zuckerberg do it?
you could have elon musk decide what's misinformation the guy who just got set the record for being community noted in one day over all his lies about venezuela how about we just have freedom of speech and you trust the american citizens so i'm just letting you know that tim walsh
is not this progressive of sweetheart that people are. He's only to the left of someone who's a warmongering, anti-free speech, anti-bodily autonomy person. That's the only way he becomes a progressive. Tim Walz, it's like Joe Biden fucked Bernie Sanders. Hey, wait a minute. He did fuck Bernie Sanders. I'll play it one more time. Or hate speech and especially around our democracy.
Hey, there's no guarantee to free speech when it comes to things that I don't like that people say. Free speech is just there for speech we all like. No, it's the exact opposite. Speech that we all like doesn't need protecting. It's the speech that drives us crazy. It's the speech we hate that needs protecting. That's why it's in the Constitution.
I think we need to push back on this. There's no guarantee to free speech on misinformation or hate speech, and especially around our democracy. Well, here's what some, underneath that tweet by Glenn Greenwald, do you think that's true? I mean, that's how it appears on Twitter. But do you people in the real world actually think censorship is a good thing? Serious question.
Glenn Greenwald says, when Matt Taibbi and Schellenberger testified before Congress about the attempts by the CIA, the FBI, and other agencies to coerce big tech to censor dissent, every Democrat, every one of them defended this as good, noble, and necessary. And polls show the same. That's why I say I didn't leave the Democratic Party. The Democratic Party left me.
I'm the same. I'm still anti-war. I'm still pro-worker. They crush unions. I'm still for bodily autonomy. They're not. They're for forced medical experiments. They're now pro-abortion. And I'm still free speech, anti-censorship. They're against free speech. They're for censorship.
And Glenn tweeted out a great example of this. You want to see it? Here it is regarding this, the below thread, the FBI. So I'm FBI targeting Trump supporters and censoring. I can't stress that enough that the official position of the Democratic Party is to cheer and support the FBI, the CIA and the Department of Homeland Security in censoring political speech from the Internet. And if you don't think so, here, I'll play this for you.
This is exact. This is quintessential Democratic Party today. Let's watch. And give a very eloquent and moving and passionate defense of the censorship regime that we know about only because the Twitter. We live in information age where malign actors do want to use social media to influence our elections, both big ones that you spend a lot of time talking about.
and small like mine. Mr. Congressman, it has to be a bipartisan goal. No, you don't get to ask questions here. It should be a bipartisan goal to ensure that Americans and only Americans determine the outcome of our elections, not fear mongering. I think, I hope that you can actually take this with you because I honestly hope that you will grapple with this, that it may be possible that if you can take off the tinfoil hat, that there's not a vast conspiracy
well that's exactly what the twitter files revealed is that there was a vast conspiracy a public private partnership of people conspiring to get social media to censor people that's exactly what happened it's not tinfoil it's funny he calls it tinfoil hat stuff as he's advocating for it but this is classic democratic party ordinary folks
And national security security agencies responsible for our security are trying their best to find a way to make sure that our online discourse doesn't get people hurt or see our democracy undermined.
So that's either they're out there protecting you, which is what every dictator and fascist has said since the beginning of time. The reason I'm censoring is to protect you, protect you from all the enemies of America, of our country that want to trick you. So we're going to censor. That's what they say in China. That's what they say in North Korea. That's what they used to say in the Soviet Union.
We're doing this to protect you. And now that's what Democrats and some Republicans in the United States say. They're there to protect you. That's what this guy said. This is a congressman saying this to Matt Taibbi. They're there. The CIA and the FBI and the DHS, they're doing their best to protect us from online misinformation.
Again, the biggest purveyors of misinformation, the government, second, the corporate media, and a distant third, randos on Twitter and Facebook. And the very rights that you think they're trying to undermine, they may be trying to protect. I like how he says, and the very rights that you think they're undermining, they may be trying to protect. You don't protect it by censoring people. You don't protect freedom of speech by censorship.
That's the opposite of free speech. They're trying to protect free speech. How? By censoring. You just don't get it. And that's what Tim Walz is all about. He's all for that. Let me play it. In case you missed it, I'm going to play it for you one more time. I think we need to push back on this. There's no guarantee to free speech on misinformation or hate speech, and especially around our democracy. Turns out, yes, there is. It's called the Constitution. ♪
The NFL announced this week that all 32 teams will be implementing facial recognition software to verify the identity of everyone in the stadium. Huh? No big deal, right? Do you, is there, this is real. Uh,
I, you know, I'm an American. I believe in America. I believe in freedom. And I also believe that when people find out that this system is installed, they're going to start watching the games from home. NFL to roll out facial authentication software league-wide. League-wide. League-wide.
The National Football League is the latest organization, as they say in Canada. It's a great organization. Put on the sweater. To turn to facial authentication to bolster event security. All 32 NFL stadiums will start using the technology this season after the league signed a contract with the company that uses facial scans to verify the identity of people entering events, venues, and other secure spaces. Wow.
Wow. I think you're going to see the return of people wearing face masks. I would. Well played, Dr. Fauci. How would those facial recognition thing work when people paint their faces? I wonder if they would work. I bet they wouldn't. I bet that would throw them off a little. Yeah, people face paint.
The facial authentication platform, which counts the Cleveland Browns owners as investors, will be used to streamline and secure entry for thousands of credentialed media, officials, staff, and guests so that they can easily access restricted areas such as press boxes and locker rooms, said Jeff Boehm, the chief operating officer of Wicked, said in a LinkedIn post Monday. When I first heard that, I thought it said Wicked. Yeah.
That's what I thought it said. You know what? Turns out it's the same thing. Same thing. Wow. Credentialed holders simply take a selfie before they come and then Wicket verifies their identity and checks their credentials with a credit. That's a credentialing platform as they walk through security checkpoints.
Wicket technology was deployed in a handful of NFL stadiums last year as part of a pilot program. Other stadiums will start rolling it out beginning August 8th when the preseason kicks off. Really? They're going to streamline it? You know, like how totalitarianism gets streamlined against our freedoms. They're going to streamline it.
Let's streamline it. Some teams also have extended their use of the technology to scan the faces of ticket holders. Scan the faces of ticket holders. Scan... So much for bringing your side piece to the stadium. I mean, if the Jumbotron doesn't get you, the entry cam will. The Cleveland Browns, Atlanta Falcons, and New York Mets have all used the company's facial authentication software to authenticate fans with tickets. That...
Does that feel good to anybody? Does that really feel good to anybody? Are we going to shrug our shoulders all the way into this kind of totality? This seems crazy. It seems, it's, boy, what could possibly go wrong? What could possibly go wrong? I don't, I can't think of anything that could go wrong. Fans come look at the tablet and instantly the tablet recognizes the fan.
Said Brandon Covert, the vice president of information technology for Cleveland Browns. He said in a testimonial appearing on Wicked's website, it's almost a half second stop. It's not even a stop, more of a pause. That's how quick they could get you. It has greatly reduced the amount of time and friction that comes with entering the stadium. It's so much faster. It's for your convenience. This is for your convenience. What happens? What's going to happen with the people from Beverly Hills?
What else happens when they get their facelifts? Right? They think, huh? Going to have a computer reject you because of a facelift? The Browns also use Wicked to verify the ages of fans. Look at me. That's like a 30-year-old. Oh, the people in back. Everybody gets facelifts now. Everybody gets cosmetic surgery. I'm going to get one when I need it. Yeah. I should have got one about a decade ago. The Browns also use Wicked to verify the ages of fans purchasing alcoholic concession stands.
The use of facial recognition or authentication technology, particularly when applied to thousands of people who are scanned in the course of doing their job or entering a sports stadium, has long concerned privacy advocates. Really? Wicked. It's called wicked. It's so close to wicked. I thought it was wicked. But even now, how did I know it spelled differently? I still think it means pure evil.
In addition to concerns about the technology being used to track people's locations, privacy advocates and academics say that facial recognition technology intensifies racial and gender discrimination because it is more frequently inaccurate when identifying people of color, women, and non-binary individuals. Well, of course, of course, of course, right? Come on. What about, of course? Isn't that just like advanced technology to pull shit like that?
It wasn't enough that Google cars are running over black people. Now they aren't allowed into sporting events because the gadget never took the time to figure out how to recognize. But look how far they've come in genetic advancements. Now they can turn an Indian person into a black person. If you know what I'm talking about, am I right? Come on.
Wicket's website says its technology uses facial biometrics algorithms to authenticate individual faces in less than a second and with 99.7% accuracy, which is like, I think that was the survivability rate of COVID. I'm not sure. I think it was up there. Accuracy, even in poorly lit spaces. They said that the vaccine was 95% effective. Remember that? Remember when they would say shit like that? It's 95% effective. What? What?
Effective doing what? Stopping me from getting it? The company markets itself to... Remember when they would say stuff like that? The company markets itself to large venues by promising that it speeds entry and decreases congestion. League-wide adoption of Wicket technology is designed to prevent the use of fraudulent credentials and make stadiums more secure, according to NFL officials. What if you want to give somebody your ticket, but nobody can scalp now?
Is that right? Nobody can scalp? You can't scalp a ticket now, right? I mean, that's always... I'm not against scalping, by the way. I always thought, like, I'll be good. I go down, I'll scalp a ticket. I'll get in. I don't... The NFL is not the only sport league. Soccer stadiums worldwide are rapidly adopting and deploying facial recognition technology to surveil fans. You want to see what it's like?
You want to see what it's kind of like? Watch this. The Cowboys put this up on their website recently. Watch this. Tell me this doesn't give you the heebie-jeebies. Look, it's Ray Liotta. Really? Look, David Spade. Oh, look, Chris Farrelly's brother. So really? That guy's like, I don't like this. She also doesn't.
That was her resting bitch face. I like it. These guys, where's the nachos? I need a bigger chain. I don't like big crowds like that to begin with. Although I did go to Clippers Games this last year. It was fun. Which was a blast. I enjoyed Clippers Games. Did not re-up. Anyway, but there it is. That's exactly why I go to a sporting event. So I could be scanned like a barcode at a grocery store. That's really happening.
Okay. Fantastic. Does anybody want to go to a football game? You know what? I don't think there's any getting out of this. I don't think there's any getting out of this because they're doing it everywhere. They're doing it at airports. There's cameras everywhere now. If you live in a city, there's cameras everywhere. Have you seen those videos of people in London? They go and they're sawing down people.
Because they have these cameras up that are looking at your license plates, and you're not supposed to go insert. And anyway, and they're just sawing down the whole pole. They have metal cutters. What are they called? Anyway, diamond-tipped grinders. So they got these hostages out. Evan Gershevik, that's that guy from the Washington Post that was in prison in Russia, eh?
And Biden and Harris greet Americans freed after prison swap. Look, look how happy, look how happy she is. She's happy to see somebody who could give her a positive photo op. That's what that looks like. It almost looks like she's happy for him. Doesn't it? Almost looks like she's happy for him. Joe Biden and Kamala Harris met with Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gertzik.
and two other freed American prisoners just hours after Washington and Moscow completed their largest prisoner exchange since the Cold War. Really? This is exactly what the doctor ordered for the Democrats. Am I right? Some kind of custom made Joe Biden now gets along with the Russians because they think he's speaking Russian, I think, even though they're not sure what he's saying. That's that's my guess.
Anyway, Russian dissident and German prisoners freed by Russia in exchange for eight Russians freed by the U.S., Germany, Norway, Slovenia and Poland.
Those returning to Russia included a number of undercover spies and a convicted FSB assassin whom Vladimir Putin had obsessively sought to free from German prison for years. Here's a fun fact that FSB assassin was jailed for killing a Chechen Muslim terrorist who I'm guessing belonged to NATO. Boy, imagine if SEAL Team 6 were in prison for killing bin Laden.
Instead of just, you know, mostly all dying in a terrible helicopter crash that I'm sure happened exactly how the government said. Because that's the equivalent of that. Do you want to see? So watch this. This is going to be... So this guy, Ed Krasenstein, is such a... I don't know if there's anything... Just to put... The most rank partisan...
So he's going to say, he goes, look, Joe Biden just clapped back at Trump in the most epic way. So this is because of this prisoner release, right? Watch this. This is, watch. President Trump has said repeatedly that he could have gotten the hostages out without giving anything in exchange. What do you say to that? What do you say to President Trump now? Former president. Why didn't he do it? He's president. Sir, what did you say? Mic drop.
So Ed Krasenstein's job is to take any tiny moment when Biden can string nine words together and turn it into a Macy's Day parade, because that's what that is. But here there's a little addendum to this. And who provides it? Our good friend Dave Smith. He said, oh, snaps. The guy who did the guy who did so pathetically bad in his debate that he had to drop out of the race.
Just landed an epic clapback. I mean, sure, Evan Gorkovich was imprisoned after Trump was out of office, but don't let that mess up this moment. It's an epic clapback, according to Ed Krasenstein. A clapback. Epic.
even though the guy got imprisoned during biden's administration so did you hear what biden said that he could have gotten the hostages out without giving anything in exchange what do you say to that what do you say to president trump now former president why didn't he do it he's president what a clap back
So just to let you know, Ed Krasenstein is a straight white male who thinks he's a gay man who thinks he's a black woman. So that's not an epic clapback. That's an epic F-up by Ed Krasenstein. I make epic mess-ups too. I'm just saying that's one for him. That's epic clapback? The guy's a walking demented death rattle.
I wonder if I can say that on YouTube anymore. I wonder. So during this hostage exchange, they had the hostage exchange. And so they greet the... She greets him. So here she is greeting. Here's Kamala greeting the Gorkovich guy from the Washington Post who they got back in an exchange. We gave them...
We gave them doesn't matter. But here she is. She just did it again. She's going to do it again. She did the meme again, says the random guy. You want to hear it? So they ask her about this prison swap. And here she does it again. Watch this. This is just an extraordinary testament to the importance of having a president who understands the power of diplomacy.
and understands the strength that rests in understanding the significance of diplomacy and strengthening alliances. This is an incredible day. Even he looks perplexed. You want to hear it again? Yes, by the way, he is. I'm going to show you that in a second. This is just an extraordinary testament to the importance of having a president who understands the power of diplomacy and understands the strength...
that rests in understanding the significance of diplomacy and strengthening alliances. This is an incredible day. She is the master of how to creatively use the living shit out of a phrase that you don't understand yourself. So she's trying to say that this guy here, this walking demented death rattle, is somehow a master of diplomacy.
He understands the power and the importance of diplomacy, according to Kamala Harris. But you know what's weird is how he never uses it, that power of diplomacy, to stop a war. Isn't that weird? In his entire scumbag career, he's never used his power of diplomacy to end a war. Is that what she meant by understanding the power of his diplomacy? Is that what she meant?
i wonder if i could say joe biden's career is scumbag i don't know youtube's very very very touchy lately so do you want to hear it one more time because i do because it's funny it's this is funny extraordinary testament extraordinary testament to the importance of having a president who understands
and understands the strength that rests in understanding the significance of diplomacy and strengthening alliances. She really ramps it up right at the end there. The power of understanding the diplomacy. She really ramps it up. I've got to do it one more time. I've got to. Testament to the importance of having a president who understands the power of diplomacy and understands the strength...
And the significance. The rest in understanding the significance. Of diplomacy and strengthening alliances. This is an incredible day. Understands the power and the significance. She likes the significance.
So I just want to say, here we go. I love that. I love that clip. Done it again. She did it again. He did it again. But here I want to show you. So no, a lot of people are talking about this.
So they meet. They got some prisoners released. That's the guy from Washington Post, Evan Gertkovic. They got Biden and Harris, greet Americans freed after a prison swap. So they meet him for the photo op, which was nice. Thank God. Because it was significant. It was significant of the photo op. She almost looks, she's so happy, she almost looks happy for him. Anyway, I know I did that joke before. ♪
Hey, become a premium member. Go to JimmyDoreComedy.com. Sign up. It's the most affordable premium program in the business. All the voices performed today are by the one and only, the inimitable Mike McRae. He can be found at MikeMcRae.com. That's it for this week. You be the best you can be, and I'll keep being me. I freak out.
Do not freak out.
