The Hamptons Confessional (ft. Noah Centineo, Leah, Miguel, Maria, Owen, Hallie & more) [VIDEO]
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What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy. Daddy Gang, welcome back to another episode of Call Her Daddy. I would say on a weekly basis, I indulge in maybe, maybe a couple glasses of wine, maybe one tequila throughout the course of seven days, okay? But I would say on a weekly basis,

But every time I throw an unwell event, the little rager inside of me, the girl who loved Four Locos back in the day, the girl who didn't even flinch when she would drink straight vodka out of a water bottle in college, she comes back out. She comes back out and she's reborn for about 48 to 64 hours. And then I put her back down and I lay her to rest for the next time that I will let her wake up again, okay? And this past weekend, she woke up.

And I went full fucking throttle. I was throwing my 30th birthday party in the Hamptons. And here's the thing.

Every single time I go to the Hamptons, it is a shit show in the most beautiful way because I get in and I get out. I'm not spending all summer there. I'm not even doing weeks there. It is a weekend and we get out and we go home. And when I woke up in my house in Los Angeles, still hungover, still sweating tequila, still recovering, I got an email.

from my video guy with a link and the subject line of this email read, uncensored Hamptons confessional footage. Enjoy. Now, I set up a cute, innocent confessional thinking. I honestly thought my friends would pop in and say a few words, maybe sing me a cute happy birthday.

But as you can imagine, this is not how this story goes. For anyone who wasn't able to make it and was suffering from FOMO, I have got you covered. What I will say though, Daddy Gang, is you know I'm a podcast girl through and through and I rarely ask you to do this, but please, for the love of fucking God, watch this episode on video. Like, this is not one to be like jamming to in the car. You need to watch this. It is a full, visual, glorious experience, and

prepare yourselves and get ready to hear from Leah, Miguel, Hallie, Owen, Maria, Noah Centineo, Daddy Gang is in this episode, and Kiera, who we just signed to Unwell. She is the queen of book talk. She is fucking hilarious. And I am not ready for you to hear her JCPenney story. So without further ado, Daddy Gang, I give you the Unwell Confessional. Enjoy.

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I'm Michael Che. And I'm Colin Jost. And we've got a little secret. Actually, it's a pretty big secret. Well, now you've got to give the people something. No, I'm not saying a word. Oh, then people won't know to tune in. Come on, tell them a little bit. You like how we're hosting a comedy event streaming only on Peacock? Exactly. Or how it's called New York After Dark and it's a comedy show that only features drop-in comics? Boom! You nailin' it, dude. And how Michael Che's phone never... Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, hey, hey! New York After Dark. It's some kind of comedy thing. And it's streaming now. Only on Peacock. You love it.

Now I'm ready to get loose. Hello. I'm Kiara. I'm from Houston, Texas. I do book-related content and yeah, I was in a sorority. So this unwell lifestyle, this ain't new to me, baby. This ain't new to me. It's true to me. Hello. I literally just got here. So we only the second drink in, but baby compared to yesterday, we was about 20 drinks in and girl, my confession is actually from last night. And when I tell you clearly,

Clearly Alex know how to get down because the time was had. We ended up at Common Ground. Great time. I'm living my best life. I'm like, yeah, I love the Hamptons. I love the Hamptons. I don't know how I got into the car, but all I remember is being in that car.

Waking up touching my head and feeling so damn ball-headed. I started looking high and low. I'm looking for my purse I'm looking for my wig Apparently my wig was under the seat now shout out to that driver cuz I hope you didn't say nothing And if anything I hope you don't snitch on me. That's my confession So basically I lost my wig in a car

and my lashes. As you can see, I have on mascara. I'm naturally an eyelash extension girl. That shit's gone. My nail is chipped. I had a great time from what I can remember and clearly from what we can see. Hello. I don't have a sugar daddy experience, but I'm always looking. So slide into the DMs. Okay, where's the craziest place I've had sex?

Mama, daddy, cover your ears, girl. Cover your ears. Oh, girl, I don't know if I can say this. Is it legal? I don't know. The crazy... Well, I was younger. This is like college days. From what I can think of at the top of my head. I don't know if I can say this, man. Mind y'all, I'm younger. I'm a more mature woman now. Things have changed. Yeah, that JCPenney's dressing room. A time was had, man. Oh, Lord. Back blown out. But, hey, at least we purchased the jeans. My boyfriend did get them jeans, but...

Yeah, that was one of them crazy times that I don't even got no regrets. But I wouldn't do that now. Don't be doing that now, girl. I feel like I need to go to church. Go to repent of my sins. If y'all got holy water, spray something on me. And now I'm just going to pass it to the next person for their confessional. Hopefully it's not as crazy as mine, girl. Hi, I'm Double Fisting. Hi, my name is Leah Kattab.

And I am an unknown amount of drinks in. And I'm feeling ready. And you're on sex hotline. No, I'm kidding. And you're Leah's channel. My current relationship status is standing in front of me.

No, I'm kidding. No, Miguel's standing there. I do. I have a boyfriend. The weirdest date I've ever been on. Let me give you guys a backdrop. This might take a second. Get comfortable. I went on a date. This guy, he asked me out to Nobu and we went out together and it was really good. And this is actually fairly recent. Sorry, Miguel. But it was before we met. Anyways, we went to Nobu. He took me out. It was really fun. It was really cute. We had a great time, whatever.

He texted me after. He was like, I really like you, blah, blah, blah. Okay, cool. Fast forward. Two, he was like, I'm performing at Coachella. You should come. And I was like, that would be so fun. Let's do it. And he invites me to Coachella. And then we go to Coachella. And when I got there, there was like this, there was like, it was a whole house. All of his friends were there. I was there as well. And then all of a sudden I stand in there and then this girl comes up to him and takes the blunt out of his mouth and starts smoking it with him.

And I'm like, okay, interesting. I thought it was his auntie. Well, it just looked like his auntie. No shade. And then we get in there and I'm sitting there and they're like, no, an auntie wouldn't touch him. Like she starts putting on a very see-through top.

She starts doing her makeup more and she doesn't introduce herself to me after I was like, hi, I'm Leah. So nice to meet you. She doesn't talk to me at all. Okay, cool. Anyways, fast forward. Cool. After that, but he's being like, he's like, I'm so happy you're here. You look gorgeous. Blah, blah, blah. I asked my friend who's also his friend. I'm like, hey, so who's that? And I'm thinking, oh, that's his sister. No weird shit. Cause y'all sharing a blunt. I don't smoke.

I don't. I'm a very sober queen. Not right now. Well, okay, hold on. Hold on. Alcohol, yes. All of the rest, boo. Say no to drugs. Dare sponsor me. Just kidding. Oh god, am I bombing this? No! Can we- The camera, the camera, the way they're all tuned in, I'm begging.

okay anyways I asked my friend and I'm like okay is that your aunt is that his auntie and they were like no and I was like okay cool so who is she and they were like he invited her and I was like oh and then I find out he invited both of us at the same time and I was like oh I'm so good off of that like you can have him and then that was the last time we spoke but now he begging for that shit back obviously duh but I'm good

Anyways, that was my worst first date. And my name is Leah Ketev and you're watching Unwild. And I'm passing it to the next guest. Shit. It's my turn on the mic now. Hey, my name is Miguel and I'm on my 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7th drink. I'm pretty sure I'm feeling really good.

The fact that I've got a mic right now and I'm feeling this good is crazy. The fuck am I doing here? My relationship status, I'm taken. I'm out of the streets. You cannot have me. My confession is, fuck, what's my confession? The biggest party file I've ever committed is, alright, boom. So I'm in college, right? College is different to your college. My college is before university. So this is just before university.

I'm at this house party. Everyone from my school was there. There was this one girl I was interested in. So, the party's been good. I've got a couple drinks in me. I'm been turning up. I'm with my man, damn. I'm with the people, damn. You know, we're having a vibe. We're turning up. We're getting lit. And then, my boys decide, yo,

This girl, she's kind of interested in you. You've been interested in her. Let's put you in a room along with each other so you guys can get to know each other. I've been yakked up, bro. I've got drank in me. Tequila, vodka, henny, all of that shit. It's in my system. There's a party going on in my bladder right now and my bladder can't take it. So she's there. We're on the bed. We're talking. She's next to me. We're talking and shit.

She's asking me questions. I'm not processing them questions because my body is fucked right now. I'm trying to keep my shit in. She's jabber, jabber, jabbering. I'm listen, listen, listening. And the alcohol was trying to alcohol out of my system in. So I'm confused why he's speaking while I'm not here. All right. Right. So this is the thing. Come, come, come, come, come, come. She. No. Yeah. Yeah. So this is this is bad. This is bad. This is worse than what happened yesterday.

i can't believe i'm saying this on camera wait give me my cred for being able to say this on camera because it's bad i'm drunk in the house party and my boys decided to lock me in the fucking room with this one girl that i was interested in at the time so she's talking to me right i'm fucked up i'm drunk

I can't hold my liquor in. I don't drink like that. I don't drink. You know what I'm saying? I'm a sober boy. So, boom. Embarrassing. Embarrassing. Anyways, so she's talking to me. I'm listening, trying to keep myself composed. I say, yeah. As I say, yeah, I go, huh? I'm like, nah. I get up. I go to the toilet.

I start spewing in the fucking toilet. Me and this girl were in the fucking bedroom for five minutes. I don't even know if it was five minutes. Less than five minutes, I'm throwing up on the toilet. This girl comes in, what the? Anyway, but anyway. Okay.

Who the fuck snorted behind the camera, blab? Shame on you. Shame on you, blab. Oi, that's how you know it was not meant to be. Because man is talking to this girl. He threw up in front of me. You know what's mad? She threw up in front of me. Let me say that again. She threw up in front of me. A bonding experience. Do you want to get into that? No. Because her one is bad.

So the moral of the story is, don't drink if you're trying to get to know a girl. And if you are, listen, if you're trying to wingman your boy, don't put him in a room with a girl when he's fucked up. Because that's the worst thing you could ever do. Because I never really spoke to that girl again on the same level. Because we was heading there and it didn't happen. Thank God it didn't happen because I never would have met this princess.

It never would have worked out anyways. She wasn't my type. Look at you pushing my face. What was that? What was that? And on that note, we better go to our room. So see you later. No, we're not. My best friend is behind the camera. I don't mind the audience. I do. Don't listen to him. He doesn't know what he's talking about ever. Only I do. So relax yourself.

Alright. Relax. We're passing it over to the next guest. Baby girl, do not say that to me. Next guest, come over to the couch. It's always been my fucking dream. I can leave. No, you can stay. No, I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. What are we even doing? Okay. Hi. Hi, everyone.

Hi. Noah and I are... You're saying hi to them, not me. I'm not everyone. No, no, I'm saying hi to you. Hi, also. Okay, so the people that were just on the couch earlier are having sex in the bungalow. It's kind of hot. Kind of. Not Miguel and Leah over here feeling themselves. I don't even know what's happening. I don't even know why I'm on this couch. Okay, Noah. Hi. Anything right now? Get the fuck out of here. What are you doing?

There is a bed to the left, you two. Oh, is there? Yeah. You two go to the left. You go to the left. Okay. Get it. Okay. We are going to now give you a little ASMR with... And this is actually a controversial topic. Is it Noah Centineo or Noah Centennial? Noah Centennial. I have always said it right, but to all of our bitches on Instagram saying Noah Centennial, it's Noah Centennial. Cut that shit out. Cut that shit... Read this card. Hi, my name is Noah. I'm zero drinks in and feeling terrified.

What happened to you? What happened to you? He said- He said- We were standing up and we were clothed earlier and now we're naked and fucking- No! Okay, I- And by we, I mean you and Miguel, obviously. First of all,

No one's having sex second of all no one's having sex just like a like dry hump. No, no, it wasn't driving second of all Hello third of all he's so boring. I had to join. Thank you I don't know why he's saying he had zero drinks. I watched him. I think it was why I watched him Literally drink seven shots three cocktails talking about yourself, babe. There's three months ago. You saw me three months ago He threw up before this interview my care I threw up at the end

We agreed we weren't going to talk about that. My relationship. Single. My current relationship status is single. Okay. And my confession is. Can I pick the one you do? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah, sure. I don't know if I'll have a story for it. Noah, you have weird fun stories. The first time I met you, your couch was made for 15 people to sleep at your own home. And I asked you what kind of or. Wait, no, we're trying to make you Branson. Wait, how did. I was going to say what kind of or do you.

Cut. Cut. Cut. That was the last episode. No, that was- That was the last episode of confession. Let's go! Fucking do it! I'm ready! What do you think? I'm all amped up now! Go! Hey, yeah. Woo! Look at Miguel sitting on the bed being like, I'm a boner. You just left me. Now you're doing an interview. I love leaving guys with boners and nothing to do with it. Go. And guess what? We can do it better than you guys can do it for us. Go. Give him a fucking question. No! No!

She doesn't even want me to talk right now because she knows that's not fucking true. Listen. Facts. If anyone's going to get left with boo balls, it's this one over here. I've heard you're doing just fine to her. My friend is fulfilled. You're doing a great job, Miguel. I know. I've heard great things. I want to know this just because I feel like you would have a funny story for this.

Have you ever fully fled a hookup? Why? I got a crazy story and it's definitely a confession, but it's kind of gnarly. Alright, when I was 17 years old, I was 17 years old, I was a virgin, and I lost my virginity at 18, by the way. Late bloomer. And I'd sit... Aw. Fucking twins. That's very... That's very Demore. Very Demore, very classy, very respectful.

Did I get it? No, I said it wrong. Demure. Demure. He said very demure. Very demure. Very demure. Very not demure to say demure. Demure. Don't. So I'm 17 years old and it's New Year's Eve and I am... I, uh...

I dropped off an ex-girlfriend that had come over to hang out with me and family. Why? I don't know. I think I was trying to set her up with my best friend at the time, and she was not taking it. So then it was after New Year's Eve, so we get in an Uber. I take her back to her hotel. I get back in the car, and I start going back to the house that I originally was at. And on the way, I saw a woman standing on the side of the street.

I was, by the way, like 17 and two solo cups of rum down, like wasted, like completely gone. And I'm in this truck going down the street. I see her and she's kind of going like this, like trying to get the attention. And so I said to the Uber driver, I'm like, yo, my man, pull over really quick. Pull over really quick by this woman. And he's like, OK, what am I? Pull over. So he pulls over. You're 17. And I put the window down and I'm like, hey. And before I could say anything, she just goes, are you my ride?

And I was like, I can't. I was like, by the way, it's like one o'clock in the morning, New Year's Eve. And I was like, yeah, I mean, I can be. Where are you going? And she goes, oh, I'm going to Ocean Park. And I was like, all right, word. Hop in. That's on the way home. So she gets in the car. Now he's giving free overrides. Yo, you're first. Noah Centineo overrides. He's giving free overrides. And so she gets in the car. I'm like, what's your name? She goes, you don't need to know my name.

It's giving noir. Yeah, it's giving something. Something is being given. So she's like, what is your name? And I'm like, my name is David, which was a lie because she didn't tell me her name.

I'm like, oh, all right. I don't even know your name. You don't have to know mine either. I didn't know. I thought that's how, like, she's an adult. You know, I was like, is this how we do things? We just lie. So we pull up to her place. It's like beach town-y, like little bungalows. And so we pull up to one of those bungalows. She gets out and she turns around. I'm like, all right, have a good night. And she goes, you're not coming in? And I was like,

And I looked right at the Uber driver and he looked up in the rear view mirror because he knew I was a kid. He said, if you're not going, I am. And then I looked at him and I was like, yeah, all right. And then he turns around like, yo, are you? And I was like, I'm fine. Leah, did you just say, if you're not going and I'm going and that Uber driver's like, my dick is ready. That Uber driver said hello. I'm going, I am mama. Give me that 20% five-star tip, baby. Let's go. No, that's right. He said, I'm a deliver. Why am I on this couch? Because I did my couch and no one's coming back.

And now she's done with Nona's confession. It's time to go. Let's go. Come on, darling.

So I'm nervous. She opens the front door. She walks in and immediately on the floor in the living room, I see a Thomas the Train carpet. So I'm like, oh, she's with child. She's with child. She has multiple children. I hope there's not a child in the place. This is now even weirder. It was already kind of weird, but now it's real and it's getting interesting. She goes, do you want a nightcap? I'm like, no, I've had way too much. And she goes, I'm going to make you a nightcap. So she made me a gin and tonic and she forgot to put gin in it.

But I'm like, I guess this is what we do as adults. Like, pretend. We pretend we lie about our names. We lie about the alcohol in our cups. We just lie, we lie, we lie. So long story short, like, we go into her bedroom and we start talking and then we start kissing. I just pick her up and I threw her on the bed. Keep in mind, virgin. Like, had never done any, like, have, like, you know, did things but never had sex. Wait, no, at this point, are you at all thinking, like, oh my God, like,

I'm about to lose my virginity to the woman that I picked up on the side of the road. That's a 30 year old woman that won't tell me her name. And there's Thomas. This is such a funny story. Like, this is so funny. Oh my God. Look at me. I'm being so funny right now.

That is Noah. That is Noah. You know, like, oh, there's, like, an older woman, and this is great, and this is actually such a story. And so, like, we started doing all these things. We started, like, making out and da-da-da. And then, like, I kind of get hit. Sorry. With this, like, reason out of nowhere. You know when you're super drunk, and then finally, like, reason smacks you in the face? You're, like, or, like, oh, I'm present now. And I just go, fuck, maybe I should, like, do a little push-up and just, like, see what this person looks like and what's going on. Mm-hmm.

So I push up and I look at her and I realize she's like 40 something. Oh. She's a little bit older. Okay. Which is fine. Yes. But you're 17 and you haven't lost your virginity. But not only was I... Right. Not only was I hit with this realization that like she was much older and like I just got hit with this, the reality of what I was doing. And I went, oh no, I need to go. So I just went, I have to go. And I got up and she was like...

And she grabbed the blanket. She like pulled in front of herself. She was like, what are you talking about? And I was like, it's a story. Tell your friends. And I grabbed my stuff and I ran three miles home. Like one 32 o'clock in the morning. Okay. This is a story that he, so you didn't lose your virginity that night. You stayed a 17 year old young boy still with friends.

fresh eyes, bushy tailed, and he didn't have sex with the 40-year-old woman, but he did save a woman off the street that night. I did get her home safe. And this is the story from Noah about how to be a good person. This is my confession. We're passing it to the next guest. Let's go. Okay. Hello, everyone. I'm Marie Georges. I have had about like four drinks.

Plus maybe like five shots. And I'm feeling great. I'm feeling fantastic. I'm having so much fun. Got to meet so many girls. I'm loving life right now. I'm from Toronto, Canada. Canadian bitch in the USA. My current relationship status is single, whatever. And I'm going to be 30 in like a couple days. So let's just not remind me how single I am. My confession is I like someone who doesn't even know me yet. Just...

Doesn't matter about that. Tell me the time about how you were fully delusional about a man. How about right now where I feel like the man that doesn't know me is gonna love me? We'll keep it at that. Have you ever tried to really impress someone only for it to be a total flop? Um, no. I'm such a straight shooter in who I am as a person that I've never had to like

change who I was to try to like impress someone. I'm always been like, if you're gonna like me, you're gonna like all of who I really am. I'm not gonna like give you surprises later on. Take it or leave it. That's just how I've always been. Has someone ever told you that they loved you and you didn't say it back? No, I mean, I've had people tell me that they're very into me and like whatever. Maybe they've said, I think the only time, how can I say this nicely? I've had guys confess their love for me.

And I was not at the same spot as them. And that can get hard. But no, I'm going to be honest. No one has ever said, like, I love you where I was like, I don't feel the same. Because I don't think I would ever let a guy feel like they can say that they love me. Because I feel like that would be, like, really leading someone on. I just don't do that. I don't entertain people that I don't give a fuck about. On that note, I love you guys. Bye.

Hi, I'm Owen Thiel. I am six drinks in. Woo! And I'm feeling really blackout drunk. I should only have one drink. I'm a lightweight. So this is not going to go well. I'm from Los Angeles, unfortunately. My current relationship status is I'm like basically married, but he won't propose. So if you're watching this, get a ring. Love a diamond. Big one. And my confession is I still have my ex's Instagram password and I do still check the DMs.

10 years with my current boyfriend and I'm still checking my ex's DMs. Keep drinking, you guys. Tell me a time about you were fully delusional about a man. Okay. My best friend had a boyfriend who I thought was in love with me. And like, I swore, like he was looking at me. Like every time we would go out, he would stare at me. In my head, he was infatuated with me. He was obsessed with me. And I had to break it to my best friend that he was probably gay because my best friend was a girl. And so one day I sat her down and I said, I just want to let you know

Michael is not straight. She said, what do you mean? What have you seen? What's up? And I said, I've experienced it firsthand. He's obsessed with me. He's completely in love with me. And I just needed to tell you now so you didn't continue on this road. Obviously he was straight and just thought I was weird and thought I was like way too much, too extra. So he would look at me as I was telling these insane stories and be like, who the fuck is this? You know what I mean? He wouldn't look at me like he was obsessed with me. He would look at me like,

you're an alien go back to go back to mars and she told him that i told him this and now they don't speak to me because they think i was like trying to steal him which by the way i was he's so hot okay now i'm gonna pass i'm so drunk i'm hearing voices that i can't concentrate okay now i'm gonna pass this to the next to the oh i'm so drunk now i'm gonna pass this to the next guest cheers

Hi, my name is Dana. Hi, my name is Jess. And we have a pretty big confession to spill, if you want to take it away, Dana. My high school ex-boyfriend cheated on me a lot. It's true. I was his best friend. It's true. I can confirm. When he cheated on me, probably the fifth time, I made him a Grindr account. It's true. And I had to ask you for the email. I provided the email. Yes. So, sorry. Sorry for all the men hitting you up. Hopefully it subsided by now. And that's my confession.

We're passing it to the next guest. Hi, my name is Hallie Batchelder. I'm about seven drinks in right now and guys, I'm feeling fucking fuzzy. I'm feeling warm and I'm feeling curious. I'm not gonna lie. Okay, I'm from Boston, Massachusetts, but I live in New York right now. My current relationship status is single. So single.

kind of sad honestly the fall is gonna be really lonely whatever okay my confession is last week i went on the first date and honestly we had oysters as the appetizer so i'm gonna like blame the oysters because it's like an aphrodisiac he fucked me in the ass i'm not gonna lie and i liked it i hope they put this in have i ever fucked multiple people in one night

There's so many answers to this question. Yes is the immediate answer. I mean like are we talking about threesome production? Wait in college there was one night so I was on like the basement floor of my building. That's where I lived. I used to like fuck this guy that lives in the basement but I also fucked this guy living on the third floor. And like they were friends in the same frat. They found out about each other. I'm just a girl guys. I don't know. Like I don't know what to do. Like I

Like they were both hot. Like what, like am I gonna say no? I don't know how to say no. I'm working on it. And wait, there was one time where the guy on the third floor came down to the basement and walked in on me and the guy in the basement. And then that's when the whole thing was debunked. It was bad. It was bad for my brand, but also good for the brand.

at the time have i ever dabbled with the sugar daddy i don't know if he was daddy status he was like i mean he was like probably 13 years older than me but he used to spend like a daddy honestly i don't need men for their money like i come from money so like it like doesn't bother me so like when guys like think i need them for their bag i'm like get be for real for a second i don't need your pockets he was probably 36. i was 23.

Which to me was a daddy, but he used to go out to a restaurant. We'd get drinks. Say it was like two margaritas. He would always be like, should I tip a thou? Should I tip a thou? And I'd be like, yes, tip a thou. And then fuck me sideways. Okay, I have a funny story actually about the sugar daddy. So he was in London one night and he FaceTimed me. He had ghosted me for like three weeks. So he finally picked up the phone and I was like...

Okay, hi. I'm thinking about getting my boobs done. And he was like, I'll pay for them. Whatever, I'll Venmo you. So him and his best friend Venmo'd me for my tits. They both think they own my tits. Little did they know, my dad and my mom was like, if you pass your real estate licensing exam, like I had no job at this point.

so like if you pass your real estate license you get it like we'll pay for that surgery passed it in two weeks and then i pocketed the money that that guy gave me and then had amazing rack after that wait when i was 15 my mom walked in i'm getting in the ass on a pull-out bed in aruba is that real can i say that hold on trauma and that's a tea don't cut that honestly so the weirdest thing anyone's asked me to do in bed he didn't even ask me honestly he

really wanted to have a threesome with me i was like okay like i'm down like i've had threesomes before like i would do it this man was me and then he put on porn on the sonos surround sound so it sounded like 19 were in the room like not even surround sound justin's like specific bedroom like he was like living in a share house at the time so like with like four other guys

this surround sound was like in every room of the house in the bathroom in the living room in the kitchen people were like cooking baking like you would hear porn that's probably the weirdest thing that anyone's i've let anyone do in the bedroom yeah

Give me the side. I texted you. Do you have a good side? Yeah, I do. I literally texted you. I'm like, where are you, Hallie? I missed you. I couldn't be out there without you. Hello, I'm Maria Georges. Yes, that's about it. What is your most embarrassing sexual mishap?

What the fuck does that even mean? Like, I don't even get the question. Mishap? Like, did you fall off the bed? Oh. Did you get, like, a black eye? I swear to God, I've never backflipped where I didn't catch myself. Well, I just had surgery last week because of a sexual injury. Do tell. I was having sex with this guy, and, like, I also just got my veneers done, so my mouth is, like,

a traumatic place right now. So this guy bit down my lip and like you have like a bunch of saliva glands in your lip that produce saliva. Yeah, he fully collapsed the glands. So like my mouth was producing saliva, but I know where to go. So it's like pooling. Wait, what? Because he bit you so hard that you had surgery. Yeah. So what'd you do with the guy?

I think he's coming tonight. Have any of your friends ever tried to steal a guy you were talking to? They wouldn't even try to do that. I actually have a fucking story about this. And I never thought I would tell this story. No, this actually pisses me off. It brings me back to a dark place. Listen to this. You ready for this?

So my ex fucking cheats on me, right? And I break up with his ass. How tall was he? Fucking 5'10". Yeah, that's my point. But yeah, no, he cheated on me, blah, blah, blah. But he was known in Toronto. Oh, fuck. Here we go again. The fucking poor guy is going to get shit on for Call Her Daddy and now shit on for this fucking shit. He basically...

Made a video with the girl that he cheated with. Then this girl comes up to me. She's like, oh my God, I knew you from your ex. Like, I love you. Like, and was like supporting me and be like, you're, you know, you're so much better than him. Blah, blah, blah. Let's go have drinks. We go have drinks. We became friends. She's, you know, confessing her shit about her ex. And like, I'm helping her through her breakup. Is she hot?

She's not bad. Oh, fuck. No, bitch. Listen, I call a spade a spade. I think all girls are beautiful. But I'm not going to say the bitch is ugly. She's not. No. But she's, you know, opening up to me about, like, how I'm this amazing girl. And, you know, she wants to confide in me about her ex. Oh, you are. And it turns out then, okay, ready this? Are you guys ready for this? Actually, it kind of fucked up. Production, are you ready? She reaches out to me. She goes, I'm going on a trip.

But I want to let you know she literally calls me she was I want to let you know I heard that your ex might be on this trip But like not with us, but he might be there we might actually hang out cuz old friends are mutual friends I go okay go off sis go get some free fucking drinks I don't give a shit like go off like like use him for what he's wearing turns out

It was a fucking double date trip. She was planning to be there to meet my ex to go on a fucking date. No. It was a fucking double date trip. It was just her, her friend who was dating my ex's friend. And then she was there to meet my ex to be on a double date trip with him. I fucking, if you guys saw the text that I sent. We have to kill our whole family. She pleaded for forgiveness. And I said, you confided in me.

in me about your ex and I was there for you and you're out here on a trip fucking mine. Fuck you. What? Fuck him. Like she needs to be 50 on 50. What? I can never do that to someone that I hated. Imagine someone that you actually liked. There's just like too much dick out there for like there'd be like girls like hot girls arguing over like. Do you want to hear something funny? Okay. But then I heard a story that so apparently my ex farted in the bed with her and she cried and was like why would you fart?

And he's like, bro, I'm just fucking farting. What the fuck? And apparently they fought over a fart. I swear to God. Bro, I wish I was making this shit up. This is what I thought. This is what I heard about what their fights were about, about farting. Anyways, I wish I could make this up. I wish, I wish this was a joke because now I sound like an idiot for a guy, for me dating a guy who farts in bed. He's 5'10". We have to go back to that. Um...

We'll just have a moment of silence for Halle and Maria. The duo we didn't know we needed. The duo that maybe together they could ruin. Well, they're already ruining lives in a beautiful way separately. So coming together, it's like men be fucking terrified when they're together. I love them so much. We had truly the best time partying together. That was overall just like a wild watching experience and seeing it all back. I'm not going to lie. I was a part of

some of them as you saw but a lot of these confessionals like I wasn't in the room for like Kiera's JCPenney story I will never drive past another department store specifically wait is JCPenney even still in business I don't know regardless Kiera you're a living legend and I love you um

So casual. Queen Leah, just like, yeah, so my first date is at a Coachella thing with a performer. Casual. We're all jealous of you. I love you. Miguel, he's top tier comedy. So thank you for showing up, Miguel, and giving us a fabulous story. That was phenomenal. Also, Leah and Miguel, you guys are so fucking cute watching you all weekend. I was like, keep doing what you're doing, sweetie. Can we talk about Noah Centineo for a second? Coming out of the woodwork, coming to an unwell event, I saw all of your comments in my DMs being like,

Where has he been? He's home. He was on Call Her Daddy this week. And we love you, Noah. Thank you for coming on, Owen. Owen, my friend, Owen. Let me just say, I had the best time with you and your boyfriend this weekend. But I am so fucking jealous of you. You being the nosy, beautiful sleuth that you are. I would do the same thing if I had my ex's passwords, okay? And so we're all jealous of you. Love you. And Daddy Gang, coming in hot.

popping in for a little Call Her Daddy episode. This was truly so fun to relive and I'm so happy that we tried this new format. I'm obsessed with reality TV so I thought it was fun and I'm happy that I got to... I'm happy I got to share a little taste of this party with you guys. Summer is officially coming to an end and I really wouldn't have wanted to close out any other way and with any other people. So...

With that said, I guess I will leave you with this. I wonder where the next Unwell event will be. Stay tuned and maybe I'll see you there. See you fuckers next Wednesday. Love you. Bye.