Remi Bader: Don’t Call Me Body Positive (FBF)
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What is that daddy game? IT is your founding father, alex Cooper, with call. Remy bator, welcome the color da di, thank you for having that. How are you doing today? Tell me what you're feeling on this glorious .

day being A D definitely. Like, you make me anger. No, I I was looking yesterday. I made like freaky notes of goals that I made, like when I started and this like two eight years ago and the only like podcast I had and they're actually lasting. This was like, beyond called her daddy like that was one of the like, life goals, career goals. You here, i've bet you've .

checked off so many things on that list. I've checked off a few .

and IT was weird. I was like, I didn't even know what existed. I went typed in, call her daddy to see like notes that i've made for myself. And then that's what came up. And I was like, wow is cool.

You popped up on tiktok, yeah, during the pandemic for doing realistic clothing halls. Yes, you're the clothing hall. Guo, you really are. What inspired you to first start doing this on the internet?

Well, I lost my job in covet. I was in the music industry of doing partnership marketing, and then goffer load that I would come back didn't happen. So I actually did not know what to do with myself.

And then I gained like a significant amount of way. At that time, I kind of prey coit my dad in fashion and always said, like, remember, you should do plus size model. And I used to get so mad at him that he would that.

And at this point, and like, zero dollars may make account making no money. Like, I need to do something. I was bored, and then I was always on tiktok, like, in the pandemic, looking at girl's dancing.

Like, that wasn't like a thought in my head. And then I was like, maybe. And then I came across the curve fashioned.

I take talk like, this curve girls showing close. And I was like, od, this is cool. So one day literally just decided, like, i'm going to teach myself how to edit.

Like, i'm going to just film myself. I'm going to do something fun. And I was like, four videos did IT profit. No one cared. No one saw them.

And then when I kind of ably gave IT up, IT was like a video where I got a huge package of a clothes, tried them on in my room without filling IT. And I was just laughing at myself. I was like, why I look sane. And I ended to my friends, and I was like, one, I just meet this into a tiktok, and that's one that blew up, was like the fifth video I made and I be school was like, wide of the clothes that we put on our bodies never look like what the model looks like online.

Part of what made you successful was your content is you picking clothes that are approached for everyone, right?

right? Well, I think I, again, this wasn't planned. I didn't think people were going to see that video.

And I did the same on the next day that did even Better. And then I started doing more. So I was excited and confused, like wire people watching this, but I just went with IT. But I really, I don't think of everyone when I do the video.

I think of does this fit and look at on me because i've always struggled with finding clues for myself, whether i've gained waiter before that I was always a curb or girl and strugling with shopping. The two things that made at start being worth that were one that people were like thinking me. And I was like, why are you thinking me? But I guess IT started showing them that they could wear these clothes, that they could be confident, that they could do these things.

But I didn't get IT because I was in this not confident space. But I started helping me get there when these people were telling me like, I wish I could be confident. Like you kind of tricked my brain into making me like, feel more confident. I totally get that.

Like everyone that's on the internet, if you get any type of like positive feedback back, maybe you weren't thinking about that positive feed back you like you're just posting IT because you're like this is gonna be whatever I am in coveted and all the and people like thank you and you thank me for what what did I do so that must have been a really cool moment. I'm also interested to like first you started posting these things kind of would like nothing in mind.

I didn't know what turned into this and I also still and I had IT wasn't something I want to do. I was like, i'm going to be this like boss on the music industry.

Like that's what I want IT. So once you start posting, though, there was a transition when I did take off and then you essentially started to talk about getting clothing from brands and talking about how the brands were not inclusive yeah who were some of the first brands that you like named and called out, like not inclusive and sizing and like how did they respond? I think IT started .

by not even brands. I did pretty little thing in nasi offers were to actually did of pu sizes, but they're cheaper and like I just didn't look good on my body. So those were the first hours.

Then I started going into like of free people or something where i'm like, this looks and seeing on me wish you had a bigger size. But then I also showed the good. So I wasn't bashing these brands in my mind.

When I did, I was like, okay, all these brains are going to hate me now people are watching. I never thought these brains would want to work with me like that. Just none of this was a thought in my head. I think before I post, like, I definitely do, but I was just like this is almost like a joke, so i'm just going to like go with IT. So I would but the one thing I noticed that people weren't doing online was showing the bad.

They were all just showing the good and trying to make everything look perfect and showing just those those what about those closed that didn't fit, right? So I took a little of like the humor that I always did have and put that into IT. And I think that maybe what made you .

a little bit different, I will totally, but it's not even the bad. It's like IT just doesn't feel good on my body and you're just being honest.

And the point is IT OK IT happens to everyone. But I never had the issue of being three sizes bigger than I ever was. And I for a little while, rate, before I posted SAT in my room, stopped going out, didn't see people anymore, because I was so upset that I gained all this way, and I thought that there was just no cloth out there for me.

So like me forcing myself to shop, because I always hate a shopping like IT wasn't fun um made IT more fun for me. And then seeing that I was helping people made IT even Better. And then down the line once I started affecting these brands, I mean that made IT like I can do this. I guessed full .

time was IT hard in the beginning to be that vulnerable.

yeah. I blocked every, like guy render any girls I knew from home, like my family, like anyone I knew that maybe had a tiktok. I blocked everyone because I was.

So I really was embarrassed. I was a guy wanted do this. This is cool. People are starting to see IT. But like, something need me embarrassed then IT was like, one day, like my boyfriend was like, we dom seeing this on my girlfriend to talk, what is this? And I was just like, you know, what's screw IT and tiktok is interesting because I still feel this way and way more vulnerable on tiktok. I would say things before, even told my family of feelings that I would feel and being sad or having a bad day and say IT on tiktok without people in my life even know. So it's just like almost like the safe space .

for me once your family and your friends did find out and then they would see you having like these bad days on tiktok. People reach out like, see a few, okay, okay.

one hundred percent. I think that like my parents were, they didn't know what tiktok was. So like IT was very interesting.

And until I started getting more brand deals and stuff because my debt like a business sky like that, he didn't think IT was real or anything in his mind. He was like, you can stop working. Working like this isn't a job so that took a while for him.

Like I would say, I didn't even start popping until a january in my first video is september. So once that started being real and like press was reaching out, all of that was when they started kind of understanding IT a little bit more. Even my sister, when I like, he walked in, I was to the house and I was making me, I just like, like, I was just like a weird thing at first book once. Hard to see like success from something, then they think it's cool, extended, all changes.

Your content kind of did also start to expand beyond clothing halls here and you use your platform to some other companies getting IT wrong.

yes. So I think that slowly I started being like now people are watching. I can't hide parts about myself, like you either get to all me or nothing.

And I was a guy have to show more of myself. So I started with a little bit of like, I have anxiety in a tic disorder, and I have this in this, and I struggle this. And that was like, scary you for me to post, but I got good feedback from that.

So over time, I started putting more things that would go on in my life. And before I had to following, I did this anyways, like, without having people follow me, what I had, two thousand followers, I would still post my, every day of something went wrong. I would post IT.

If I, A great day, would post IT. So, you know, when things started to happen, that would maybe not be the best. I felt like I had to post IT. And with delta specifically, IT was like the second time since I gained wait that I was on an airplane and the sea belt and fit meat all. And I was thinking in my head lic.

I am, if I am a sixteen and eighteen, what about all of these other people that are way bigger than me? How is this not fitting me? And I just meet me angry, and I can't I can't hold that stuff in.

And I also feel like I now, with the following, have a responsibility for people that have felt this way prior or feeling this way that can do anything about IT or have no one to talk to about IT. Like I feel like I should be saying those thing yeah, my automatic thing really is like, I know what might sound to you do some people, but for me it's like what i'm going to put this on tiktok. I want people to see what's really happening like i'm going to do IT in the moment.

I never replan these things. I'm always doing IT right away because I like that what I mean might like feels of like, this is real. This is happening. This is the most realistic. So right, when that happening, before we took off, I just quickly did a tiktok of showing that the sept.

Didn't close with some random music in the background was saying, like, I don't remember what I was but like delt ta like get longer sea belt or something whatever IT was I was like a very quick video. And that then blew up, and you have two sides to that of people that truly feel the same way. And then you have the other people that are just like screw you for complaining, screw you for trying to take down to business and screw you for being fat.

Basically, that was the first thing that really was like, should I have not done that? Should I ve said IT? And I have to really deep down thing like, no, this is an experience that happened to me.

People start to think like, look, she's holding the sea, but like, it's really not really unlike. And I want to to get defensive and I want to say things and then I just have to be like, I will always be true myself and i've promised myself that. And if people don't think that that is true, like there is nothing I can do totally, did delta respond? No, they never reach out.

And like, of course, i'll I also tag because I want there was articles that that you know wrote about and stuff like they saw. I think they how do? Yes, delt is huge, but I feel like I did kind of blow up that.

I just thought like that you can always make a situation Better, like seeing with the clothing holes. I never thought I would be anything. But the second, the first time, like free people reached out and they're like we'd love free to do stuff with us.

It's like i'm always happy to be a part of that. I'm not about the cancellable. I'm not trying to cancel these brands, these businesses, these small businesses, anything, but I can't hold in things that really happened to me, and I feel like I have to talk about IT. And i'm gonna get negative ship from people going to get people that don't agree with me, but i'm gonna talk about my experiences.

What do you wish, delta, we've done?

I wish they, yes, I get. I always look at the other side, so I think of the business like I came from P. R.

marketing. Like I understand. So I was like in my head, and like OK. Well, if they can change every plan and extend the sea, bet that right now they could put sea belt sceneries under the seats so you don't have to get embarrass to go up to the plane and ask for one and how people looking at you.

And again, it's like, why should you feel embarrassed? But it's the truth of, it's the truth of that. Most people that message me were like, I feel embarrassed to go up so I can even put on a sea bet and then you get the people that's like more than lose weight.

It's not that simple. There's just way more to a lot all of this. And it's like the point is we should all feel comfortable.

not even a question. The people that are saying that are so fucking ignorant. And I agree with you, I saw your experience on tiktok this summer when you posted about a business discriminating against you at this range.

Take me through that day what you were supposed to do and what happened. Yeah, take a little different. OK, okay, I was on a brain .

trip with hampton water. Love them. I was there a few of my friends.

I was like, not a super big trip. And they had planned weeks before, like twelve o'clock, horse book riding. Now I was excited.

I went horse book riding two months ago actually on a brand trip with revolve in oman. Gery didn't have an asia was a great time so I didn't think twice in my head like I went there. I was about to get on the horse.

We signed papers like IT was done and um IT did say on the sheet, are you two forty and above so I checked off yes but that's all IT said I was about to go in the horse IT wasn't unless I said something and I looked at the lady because in on year they put me on a bigger horse and I wasn't offended at all like a horse that could Carry bigger weed that they did ask me how much I wait. I was not offended so I said to them so I said, okay, you guys going to put me on like a specific course like I just wants to know the deal and she's like, you're not writing and I was like, meet. What do you mean like you said, I like, i've signed the paper.

Like, everything was good. You looked at IT. You took IT like, everything was fine and SHE was like, no, you're not writing like you can and i'm like, we does IT say IT anywhere is IT on the front of the place like i'm a little confused and SHE was like lighting. And also, I didn't mention this prior, but this was also a bigger woman. So that is pretty wild me but he said, you know, you're not writing and I was just like, you should you should definitely advertise that at least so I knew, like, i'm here right now, this is happening like, i'll leave, it's fine but I was embarrassed.

I was really embarrassed and I think I was like shaken up and I didn't know what to do and i'm also, there would like a bunch of influence or friends and i'm the only bigger girl so like, I really didn't think much and it's funny to see and like what people's feedback is on IT of just like SHE, you don't know what really happened. He could have flipped out and curse the lady out and all this and I like, I swear on everything that never happened like I was almost too embarrassed to even say much. I just remember being like this should be advertised and being like upset but like I left, I commonly left the girl from hampton water was like, are you okay? I feels bad, whatever. Um where are all .

the influencers they're .

getting on the horses and .

do they see you not getting on the horse? yes. And they get on the horse?

yes. And they get they see you leaving. They get on the horse right off into the sunset and you leave.

And I got in the car and I just started solving. It's like I but I just called my sister and it's also like my family also, when these things happen, don't know what to do because they don't know the right thing to say. They're also not my size, so it's just like they didn't know what to say and I left and I posted this video and I started blowing up very quickly.

But IT wasn't until, honestly, the influencers that were, they started posting on the horses. So people saw that themselves. I didn't want to call out specific people. And IT wasn't until after I realized, like shit, like i'm the kind of person that would leave with someone.

You have influencers in a nasty range that have such power that every girl could have opened their fucking phone and live stream that and been like, look at the is happening, fuck this range. Like, let's all leave together. Like IT could have been such a amazing moment to support a fucking friend and instead they're like, gotto get the photo.

Like, i'm sorry. Like and I don't want you don't have to bash them. Like I don't give a fuck that's disgusting.

And I think in my head i'm very right after I was just very like shock course and a lot of people are like, don't the range blow your friends or don't do that like I think a hundred percent IT was the ranges fault. I'm forgetting a huge thing that happened that right after later that day I posted that video, would start of blowing up, was getting a little ancient about IT, whatever. But I happen to be on tiktok.

And I went to my mentors, which I barely ever do, and I saw that a guy, and I was like, there's no way these guys at the range, like, this is the range. I thought I was a random, please. And he's like, meted tiktok video and was like, if you're fat bit, you can write A D polo around or something like that.

That was the owner, sun and owner was in the background. They were all laughing. You could hear people laughing in the video, and I reposted IT right away and only validated me posting. Because when I see some things are blowing up that then has suicides, I get nervous.

I'm not trying to tear down these, a small business that sound what I want, but when I feel truly wrong and feel like this would be something that would also make other people feel like shit, like I think I have a pretty strong personality that I was OK, but some other people might not be OK. And I have to say what I feel. And once that was posted, I was like, I did nothing wrong like he, they didn't want me there.

I'm so sorry because you should never have been in that position. And they acted the way that they handled. IT is truly respectable.

If SHE nicely said, like listen IT would be you are too big to ride the horse for the reason that I would be unsafe. Er the horse gave me some like statistics or reasoning, but that was not the case. Now I getting the shit of your an animal abuse er like you wanna kill horses, like you are you tear down small businesses, you deserve hell.

Like crazy, crazy things. And IT really blew up. Like this was the news in australia.

Like this was everywhere and I literally was like to my problem is like, should I have never said anything? And she's like, no, this happened to you. You should have said something.

And IT wasn't until a few days later that a few of the influencers apologize. And I am just, I don't want to let go deep into them because I feel like people still arashi talk to those influencers. I am a very forgiving person.

I I think some people don't have the personality I do to stand up for myself and to say things how they are into like b vocal. And I all I can say is that i'm trying to be understanding, and I do feel like it's given me some sort of like I do need to look in different places for friends like I got went into this so fast. People don't understand how quickly this happened for me.

And of course, i'm going to be friends with anyone that wants to be friends with me. That's the person I am. So like, i'm just like excited. I've just been excited, but now I have to start being like, okay, like I need to respect myself and like who's respecting me not just because I have this following, but because they want to, they love me and they want to support me.

Is the rent still like open when .

he wants to blew up you? Of all the people that are like, how dare this go tired on a small business and whatever that are giving them amazing reviews, I have never been there. And like, because I went down to like one on google, and then every somehow all them are gone.

So I let IT go. People are still asking me about. I'm so getting messages that i'm a horse of user to this dig out on this morning like i've let IT go in my mind because I like, I did what I needed to do like .

let me move on. Where's that man like that disgusting man to see?

So work there. Yeah, it's the owner, son.

Dad can do your thing.

That's all good to say. I think one thing that came from that which is that now been happening, which is now being have been talked about my comments for the past since has happened um is that every girl that range and every influence or was skinny and i've just been getting so much since then, of why do you only hang out with skinny girls like you do this to yourself, that you should be surrounding yourself with girls that look like you.

I have never made a friend. Buy their body taper what they look like. I like you if you're funny. I like you if you're trust where they like you, you're cool. Like I I just I don't just the same way I look at guys like it's about personality for me.

And I think that's been a really hard thing for me to see because it's like, listen, I came into the space, like I said, just excited, and then i'm going to the event. And there was barely any positive influence are specifically in new ork city. A lot that I talked to were in away.

And what am I supposed to do? Literally, what am I supposed to do not go to these events? Yes, I don't. I don't know that to i'm there that there is no one else there that is my size with brand trips. I try and find out the list like I do the best I can with brands i'm working with due of other positioned girls in this campaign like I am trying.

But one thing that people don't know is that I have reached out to so many police size models that are well known and influencers in new york city that have not followed me back, not answered and read my messages like i've gone to shoots where I have. I have felt so left out that i've literally text in my mom in the corner being like I feel a loser IT eat our shoots where these positive girls only even talk to me. So like my one thing that i've been thinking about so much lately is I don't feel supported by a lot of the policy community because a lot of them say that i'm not big enough to be pu size, then i'm too big to be midsize and then I get yelled out for, hang out with skinning people.

So where do you want me to be? And what do you want me to consider myself? Because i've never labeled myself, and I don't know what to do to be to make everyone happy, like I literally don't know where I should put myself.

What do you wish would be the situation in the case for you?

I think the same thing as when I started all this, how, like my dream, is to have a line that. Caters to everyone and there is no labels of plus size, extended size, curvy. What's the best that a brand can call IT, whatever.

Like everyone's just in want you walk into a store and it's all sizes in one place like I that's alive i've ever wanted. I don't think anyone to feel left out. That's why I do not even think that there should be plus s sized brands where there is no small sizes is like I just think everyone should be included.

And it's the same thing as i've never considered myself any title because just the same thing as how I tell press not to call me body positive because then if I say that i'm not happy with my body one day people are calling me fat so big, it's like I can't win and I never plan to be here. I'm grateful i'm here. I'm so happy. I'm so happy I have this voice because i've always been someone that could send up for myself and that hasn't changed. So i'm happy that I could be this person that can like, say, IT how IT is and be honest and people are listening, but like, I seem totally be not be able to win and IT seems that the people that followed me from the start want me to be this original, like, relatable girl that wasn't getting these brand deals that like was struggling and crying everyday was miserable like it's like the second I start to be happy IT feels like i'm losing these people and they see that i'm happy in there like, well, she's not one of us anymore. It's like i'm just I just .

don't know what today. Why are we doing that to women?

And it's women. I get unfortunate even in this position. I don't know what to say.

But some people you know like being called fat because they are like, I am fat. We're for me. I take IT as I personally. And some people might not like IT, but I take IT as a negative thing because as an insult my whole life since I was Younger, if anyone turned to insult me, the one insult is your fat, so as a negative thing.

So I just don't think any of these terms like even when they try and put extended sizes on a website, like why do they have to say it's extend IT? Like I don't think there's any right. And I think it's more a personal thing of like what you want to be called my title. I would say impress is now usually content creator and curve model. But if someone wants to call me something different, like I personally don't give .

a show yeah I think the point is, is the labelling and I truly believe like you are helping break this barrier by even just having this conversation, there is going to be people that don't like IT. But then there's going to be a lot of fucking people that look at what you're doing and they're like, damn, I wanna beyond that role spoken team because what she's doing and she's making a fucking .

difference and I have those days where i'm like, I really am like only looking at the positive and like, i'm my batter old, i'm going to keep doing this, but I actually do have more days.

And I see people saying things like, why are you so negative and this and this and like, I IT is so hard to be in this position to keep trying to be myself or not let anyone getting in the way of that, but then have the people that are reaching out every day say you're not the same or or you're fabisch and you shouldn't in this position or whatever, mean things people want to say to me. I don't think people realize i'm the most sensitive person. I care what people think.

I'm a people pleaser. I want to be friends with that brand. I am trying to please millions of people, and I make myself crazy.

My parents are like, you need to, like, take a break you need to do. And I like, no, like, I want to make these people happy, but I am trying to also make myself happy. And it's this battle for someone that is a people, please are. It's like, I just want people to understand i'm doing the best I can.

You are extremely open with your fans and recently shared your decision to enter an outpatient treatment program. What was your goal in entering treatment?

I think that I was so into what was happening on social media with my life in the past year and half two years that I put my personal personal like health and happiness aside. You need to be able to be happy when you're alone and by yourself. And my outlet before tiktok, actually like a year before, like not my whole life was food.

So I would order like fifty, sixty dollars a night of like crazy amount of food and turn my phone off and sit there and eat like IT was A G and then cry after the rest of the night, then call people, then say need helping me to do something with them. The next day i'm going to start over. But the same thing happens.

This happened for two years, and I think that IT still was happening. And I tried to like put IT aside, but I was still happening when tiktok was going on. So I felt in authentic and myself, I felt i'm putting myself out there like i'm in this hot outfit and it's not fully in authentic in those moments.

I feel great. But then when I go home and i'm crying and eating alone that night, then i'm like, how am I helping these people? Are trying to help these people when i'm not even helping myself. So I i've tried a million things and IT finally was like I didn't want to like be serious enough to say like I haven't eating disorder.

A lot of people don't consider bingeing a ating disorder like the and you need to look a certain way to have an eating disorder like I have like at this, like addictive, crazy thing going on in my brain. And I needed to take care of bit. So I, you know, for six weeks I stopped really going to events, stopped, stop doing what I was doing, you know, did a little less content and really just focused on myself into this in person, hours and hours a week, treatment with a group.

And really, you know, all I could say about IT IT was an amazing thing that I did do. I wish I did a little longer. Yes, there is so much coming up for me right now.

And I had to make that decision of, like, should I stop this right now and I can kind of go back to IT when I need to? Am I like, solved in cured? Is everything find? no. But I feel like i'm in a way Better place. And I feel like I I like, I feel like I really helped myself and did something for myself up for the first time and so long.

Can you explain for someone who I have never heard of this kind of treatment before, just like what is the day in the life in an outpatient treatment program?

Yeah so there is for eating specifically. There's residential, which is not out patient, which is like when you really need to that all you're focused on, you go away, you sleep there. That is like your life.

I did I O, P, so I was in intensive outpatient treatment. I did three nights a week, three hours each night in person, no phone, eat dinner together in a room. And like, have these very intense group therapies and C B T, D B T, body image groups, all these things that like just really i'm like very now for group therapy.

I think it's really interesting and helpful to be able to put yourself in other people shoes and like help each other out. What's interesting in what a lot of other groups I know don't do IT wasn't just bin jitters. IT was people that have anorexia, bulimia by this movie.

I was one of the only people, only bigger people in my group. But you learn that you have a lot of similarities and can like truly support each other. And the horse range thing, and all this stuff actually happened when I was in this.

And IT really kind of threw me back a little. I actually like binged that week, and really like IT messed me up. But I had this group to let go, force myself there, didn't want to ever go that day.

But once I was there, I was so grateful, and I met like amazing people that I really a mack group, all that like at the end was just like, i'm so mad at myself that I feel like I was gonna be at this amazing, like i'm cured, i'm an amazing place and all them were like, reme. Like, you've done so much for yourself like it's not like a snap of the finger. Like this is years and years of, like your mind being one way, like i'm a work in progress. But like I did this for me thinking about .

how you said there were different women in your program, even maybe a woman that struggle. Antioxidant first. Grant, maybe like, oh gosh.

like we can't. I was like, why I here right? First night I was like, why am I here? I feel so out of place. This is insane. And then you just start talking, and you understand how many people of things in common. And what I do want to say to people is I did a very specifically expensive programme, which I am grateful that I was able to do. But if this was a year go, I would not have been able to do IT. And, you know, I put myself there, but there are other places that you could put yourself, like an OA group, which is over readers, anonymous, things like that which have, and other groups that aren't just about over eating, that are free or less money in other places, that you could put yourself and just being able to put yourself in a position where you can relate to other people. I think and not keeping IT in is what helps the most anyone.

Listen, it's incredible to hear you talk about how like that actually made you feel so connected and less alone and like you're able to bond with people that are going through similar things. And so in those moments after the ranch, when I set you back, like, you're showing up in all these women and you like, we're here, we got you and like.

let's do this together and that day, which I can't say, I would never say names or anyone like it's all confidential. But that day that I was crying and freaking out and talking about the horse range and not these people to understand and saying everything and um there was a new girl there that day and the whole time never would have thought you knew me. Nothing like it's just not that pe, but at the end, because I was so upset and I was like a massive bitch that day was when my arms across so upset and he was like, I just have to say to you, like i'm here because of you, like I am in this program because of you because I saw your video and like, I just needed you to know how many people in the world you're helping because I wouldn't be taking care of myself and if IT wasn't for you and and that snap me back into like why the hell am I focusing on all these people that are telling me i'm the worst human in the world when i'm helping these people?

Did you take any tools from the program to try to help yourself while you're gonna come to get into this crazy part of your career right now? Yeah.

if I never, even before this, could even notice if I was hungry or not hungry because I was so up with food the past few years. So like even being able to notice that and like being able to just be a little more present when i'm eating. I just wanna trip to italy in london and like, I was very nervous because italy I was with a group of people, but london, I was alone.

And when i'm alone is when the binge ing happens. And I just was like able to just like, be more in tune with myself, but you should never finish a programme and like happy to support. So i'm like right now figuring out who my team is going to be like helping me outside of program.

I'm interested to know you to mention this earlier about like the negativity people kind of come at you for calling out brands or you know, making a comment about a discrimination like an airport ter, whatever IT is. What are you feeling towards people that think you are just being negative on the internet constantly?

How does that make you feel? I think that IT just frustrates me because, again, I can cater to everyone, but to my following, I feel like i'm doing them good in myself, good by being honest about the things that are happening and showing the difference of how maybe a person who is larger is treated. And I never, and I think a lot of people don't like that because maybe I wasn't this size a few years ago.

I never was skinny, but I wasn't this size. So a lot of people don't like that. I'm like this newer, larger girl experiencing this and talking about, and people are listening, but I can't help people are listening. So the fact that they are means that i'm going to put as much as I can out there to help other people, to help myself, to make myself feel Better, and that it's okay that this shit happening to me and realized that it's happening to other people, like I cannot be myself, like I can not do the things that I feel in my god i'm supposed to do. And if that's not good for hire brand, if that's not good for this person or that person, like I have to learn because i'm not there yet to be OK with that those people might not agreed with me, never want to work with me, never want to talk to me, but I have like realized i'm being true to myself and that like i'm just doing i'm just like doing what I feel like i'm supposed to be dealing this point.

We do need to change and we need to listen and we need to educate ourselves and be more fucking mindful of people's fucking feelings. And so I think what you're doing is amazing. Thank you. We're going to former rosy and now talking dating. Okay, reme.

are you single? Are you dating?

Are you in a relationship? What is your facebook? Satis is IT complicated. Do you in this work anymore?

This is like a dream right now. Just posted. S, I like, literally, when I used in the color that, like in the beginning, and like, I was just talking like straight sex. Ens, if I was like, this is me like I have to be on this one that, anyways, dating, i've never had a boyfriend OK twenty seven years old.

It's weird because I feel like when I say IT actually want to date the other day, which was like a weird for me, because I don't like day, day, but I wanted date the other day. And I said that because he was like, one was the last you've had a boyfriend. And i've never actually said like on a date that I never have an I felt insecure about IT. But when I talk about IT on mine at my, i've never know. I think it's like a fun fact.

We how do the day go?

Right, me.

this is coming out the August.

You right? I'm going another one tonight with him. What are you going to wear this?

We stop. You like him. How do you me .

tell me everything we have had on dating? Uh, this is the thing. I'm dead because he's going to hear this but like i've heard from a lot of his brands, he's a fuck boy so it's like I already know this in my head.

which is good for you what you serious .

so I don't know what I want. I don't know what one I don't think I should go into anything like saying what is because again, I don't like date because I don't like the whole like structured serious thing.

I sometimes it's I go into IT, not expectation sometimes like i've guys in the past and i'm like this is the best fucking boy I am so in the mood for this I didn't even know I was in the mood for but i'm so down for a casual or you meet something that you're like, oh like we're going to go on a second day pretty soon after and like maybe this will be like a little bit more of like a fun fling day.

So really don't know. Like I think that I think it'll be a fun thing, but also like very sexually attracted to him. Like I feel like it's like we and I been going back and forth my head leg should I hok up? But this guy actually not not like we like, I don't think that should be even in a factory.

If I wanted, I should like, i'm just like, I just like, don't I feel like I was like out of the game, but I do think that it's a comfort thing for me that I don't like meeting new people. I don't like having exacts of new people. Like I get like i'm a totally different rat me like, i'm awkward at first.

Like I have a panic attack before before deeds. Like, I just feel like I don't want to a do that. Yeah but then like when i'm there, i'm fine. So I just but one thing that has like gotten to me since i've gotten a following and I I don't know what to think about IT because before I was definitely like hooking up with people more and don't want to boy from but that doesn't mean I don't want IT doesn't me I want hook up with people less. The second eye got a following like every guy stopped. The damming may like no one reached out anymore like IT was just like very weird and I always think and I ve asked my guy friends because like I have a lot of whose guy friends and .

know that sounds like a pec mega like .

what is a picture girl and it's so knowing I ask them because like I feel like very all football and I like what do you think? Like why and from guys two girls, I feel like everyone tels me its intimidation and like you're all lying and that's what annoyed me.

I don't think these guys are intimately because I feel like a guy when they want something will go for IT and I can't help to let me be like very insecure about like i'm like a realistic person and I truly believe that it's i've gained way. I don't look like how I used to work and i'm not posting sexy should all the time, like i'm posting me being funny and enjoying my body and showing that i'm not maybe not happy with in my body all the time. So I don't think that's necessarily like attractive to guys. This guy like at least I need to give him some respective because I wasn't even to go on the date was because, like, he knows what I do the first thing I said to him was like, oh, or he was like, so what do you do other than tiktok and i'm like, oh, have you seen my videos? Because you you probably lw anted to talk me after that and he's like, no, we've seen them in and I was like, wow, like that's cool.

Ky, and then ramming you insert with the fucking you're doing in business? Oh, I actually am starting a brand. Oh, i'm doing this, doing this and all the things they are like and you like all dinner or .

I might just get to use but the point is no one really reaches that .

like no one usually I think you ve got to be fucking in sliding in those dms girl, you need to fucking face play out into those dms, get the fuck in there you see someone you think is cute. Dmm, because I think when you take the initiative, guys hate getting rejected. Sorry, men, but it's just so fucking true.

People are intimidated by someone that just looked on the outside like they got IT all together. As we're here for you today, you're Normal human being. You've got your ups and your downs. But you're like, I want a guide to like, you know, slide in like what the fuck you should slow the fuck in.

You should slide in, go off of something that you see on their profile, send him his own picture, say something funny about IT or if it's on a dating up, like message them first, then they can take IT from there. But it's really you just giving the insight of like i'm interested what's up and then I think you almost are showing that interest and they will separate ate. But I think that you got ta like balls in your fucking in core when the fuck you're going to wait for a guy, why would we ever wait for men? They move so slow. Like if you want to make something happen, like women get shift up.

I think it's like insecurity, which I still have within myself of like i'm not this is still a new body for me IT doesn't mean I hate myself IT just means it's different. And the one thing in my life, I feel like i've always been like I used to like, literally worst weapons at the beach, like I was so embarrass. But for some reason, when I came to sex since years ago, most confident girl ever.

I think the fact that I feel insecure now about my body and it's completely affecting sex, like I literally like, last time I did not refuse to take my shirt off and the guy was like, what? And I was like, no, no, no, no, I can't. I hate that.

Like, I hate that. I think it's not me like it's a totally different person and it's like ruining the one thing I always felt a hundred percent confidence in. So that's where i'm like.

Of course, i'm going to feel like, no, I don't want to slide in. This guy doesn't wait me. No one's reaching out to me because i'm just like fully one hundred percent blaming IT on my body and how I feel about myself.

I don't know. I think that is a very reliable concept of like getting in your own way of almost looking back and thinking of something you're like, fuck, I was so good at that. I enjoyed that.

I think first of all, you should be easy on yourself. We also also remember we our own worst enemies. So when you're feeling that in security there, they're on the day with you, they're there.

They're like, I think you're great and you and so .

we are always tearing ourselves down and I want you to fucking go on this date tonight and like channel, like your bad with energy. I know it's like corner, but it's like actually what's worse I can happen. Think about that.

Go you oh, go oh by kasper, don't care. Next, literally think about IT like, goes like what you should also do for yourself is don't let yourself like fuck. I went myself, maybe I was awkward and that's waiting call.

Be yourself fucking go in there and be like you are with your friends and I know it's hard, but i'm just saying like maybe the night just like fuck, take the bottle with you out, take the exchange but you know I mean, it's like the worst I always like to think about like what's the worst that can happen? Yeah your yourself and he doesn't like you. Well then get the fuck out OK. I want to hear what is the dating story in your past that you are never gonna forget can be good or about IT can be a disaster. Tell us.

我 弄 so good， a funny hook up story. I D have one of the top of my head. So I was out one night and the own, like the nights of my life that i've been like the worst.

Rami, as rami is when I have readable and something like, I think i'm alerted, never give me red ball if they give me a million dollars. Brain, is that absolutely not. And I so was out drinking about the red dba, got a blitz that that goes just very drunk.

And there was this kid there that's best friend with my best friend OK, and very good booking, very hot man. And I was just like, he was like flirting and wanted out. Me know like, there's no that guy this was like, there's is no possible way anyways.

He left, went back to my friends and he texted, nearly come over and I was like, OK, i'm coming somehow wended up there, but while on my way over a taxi amount, be home and five poor mother, so didn't never want home, one to this kid's house, one to my friends house. And this kid was there. We were hooking up and like his grandma's room.

Oh, sexy.

So I remember very few things from this evening, but I remember like the my friend's mom so not this kid was working up with with mom coming in twice being the grammy. You have to be quiet like you're being very loud. And I just like something in my, something in my mind, cut me like and like continuously, like going, I have know, I am said, and then.

And then I just somehow was up like, left the kid, I guess I was too drunk, I don't even know, was upstairs like naked and I guess I was so like walking around this kid's naked. And I threw up in the sink, I guess, but I left the single and fell a sleep in the sink, and I flooded the house. I literally like the pipes burst and like, he started, like, the water started going over the kid that I was looking up with downstairs, like, literally ruined the house.

You just flood this man out. What did you do in the morning?

So I woke up in the morning and I like, didn't wake up with that kid. I woke up with my best friend, poor guy feel like, like, i've like woken up in his kids bed naked for years, never hooked up with him, but like done something horrible. And I woke up and he's like, remember, like you no idea what you did last thing, what you talking about.

And the mom comes in and was like, you literally flooded in my house. Like we like, don't even know what to do. Like, it's horrible.

Like you were so drunk, whatever. And then the kid comes in like, the hot guy that was about in a hotel and you like, you remember you to loss. And like, we, you, I hate everything about you anyways.

What makes for the story Better? I look at my phone in my mom's like, are you dad? Blob ball, like, freaking out so I call her and i'm like, she's like, where are you? I thought you died. You said you were coming home and I like, mom, chill that, joe. Like, i'm fine and I wasn't going to tell. I told my parent love, but I wasn't going to tell them what happened because they know the family and whatever and then my other guy friend came over to the time is like, I can't believe i've looked whatever his house and my parent like what rummy and I was just like, amazing and this that kid that I hooked up with, yes, obviously I like love telling story. So I told a bunch of my friend's a story and I got a text from that kid literally the next morning, look, shut your mouths shop telling everyone we had sex like, relax.

You're actually the last part of the story. I can even I oldest ly don't even remember the dick that I was sitting on IT was more about the flood and like the ambiance ce of the entire house that I was fucking up. That is fucking incredibly did you ever talk to the guy again?

We're d, we're friends. So okay, for a while we didn't. He's probably not going talking about here's the story, but I don't really care. I think that and I was just like, amazing. I guys said I worked a brother at the time and like how to send flowers from, like, my bosses of like, to the house. Like I was just so bad because they called me that they were like, you're not enough to pay for all of this and then luckily the flowers helped. I didn't half to but the point is that there is like I don't need to tell them, but there's ten million more of those stories because every some reason, nothing Normal ever happens. Me, every time I do hook up with guys, always some weird guys like to do free, keeping simple like, but it's amazing because I have like, all these wild stories but I just feel like IT always happens, man so I just like that's what it's like kind of fun to keep going with the like whole fun thing because, like, I don't know if I get a boy boyfriend those .

more for a little bit in that events or and then it's just, you know, happiness and love you wants that who do you go to for dating advice?

I'm trying to think like this week if I texted anyone, oh i'd love to at my sister a lock if she's always been a fucked girl to in between her boyfriend, she's like a fuck girl, then like a lot IT just accepts a lot of my friends have serious, serious relationships and that doesn't make me want to have them like IT makes me more like like IT i'm like happy for them but I never makes me feel like should i'm missing out, I need something more like i'm content.

We're i'm at but something someone said to me, which was like very idea. You could tell me if it's true or not. But like was like we're at the age where it's like IT shouldn't be a game. Like if you show you're interested and they're interested back, like that will maybe go somewhere like why does that have to be like he's not interested. So i'm going to make him more interest because I am a little messed up where I want what I can't have just because i've always had shady relationships like in college, like I like I would talk with people that I mean to me like for four years I hold to put this guy in college at treating me like shit me me go home for rim. I was not allowed to sleep over and we just had like in sein sex but he was like, i'm not trying to be rude but like way below me so I always like shoot lower and it's something freaky I do but like I only know games and I think i'm like a little tired of IT.

There's always going to be games is just the level of which you're like stressing yourself out. And if the games feel so on like inauthentic, don't buckin do them. But if it's to push yourself a little bit like i'm actually going to message me that's a game or hold back on taxim that's a game, but keep IT like authentic. But do you think that .

you should be even in your mind at this point with anyone being that I mean, i'm twenty seven is all like i'm at old but like, do you think you should be even thinking should I text them? Should I not or like lean into like i'm going to text him .

because I can I think no one yes. Like I kind of said, like yeah, if you think you're gonna text in that day, sure like I said, maybe don't text my tana, but I mean a text and I get to a fuck. But like, maybe i'm going to wake as we just fuck.

Three hours earlier, I got home. I quite little like coming through off in my hair. I'm going to go shower first for i'm like, what are you doing tonight but I hate people like it's no games.

Dating is a fucking game. I love all through. I you can. I like dating. Okay, rami, this fall you will be launching your own line with revolve. How would you describe the line you're designing?

Well, this is one of the .

pieces you walked in.

And I was like, I was a great no one I like way to over Justin.

That is the goal. And i've been looking at your gas in your amazing, you look incredible and .

the dresses I walked out freaking i'm going to a night club. I I bitch. I love anyways, it's a pretty big collection. There's one be two different drops might be before of all I like did the fitting for everything like I was a very, very apart of the process with revolve. I'm super excited.

It's going to be extra a mot of four x, four x in most sales because I was three accent, because we got a lot of feedback, I got them to go to a four ax. And everything like is something I would wear. Everything is something that fits me. gree. And like, i'm just like really excited .

to share with everyone I can't fucking away to see the tiktok. Are you going to do halls of your own clothes? You have to bring the same energy you like. This is that is, what do you have certain like.

like, do IT today? This yeah there's a name for each thing I like named up for like my family member, my mom's. Like, if you change in him with the edina duster, okay, you the eye came up with the duster and my chill, it's yours. Like.

relax IT must be like, kind of surreal though like that the way .

that revolve found me is basically being like, do Better. Like, these clothes don't fit. I wish I could wear your clothes. Like, never think, thinking that they'd hate me. And they actually, the reason I respect them is because they came.

They reached out to me that day when I had, like, two hundred k before I truly blew up and was like, we've been trying to do this, we need your help. Like, we want to do this sign with her. Like.

literally that day that encompasses everything we were talking about. There's gonna be people that don't want to change and then there are ongoing to be people like revolved. They are like, let's go at me yeah like let's fuck and go.

And I think that's a part of the thing where you they get a lot of you know negative back for not being inclusive and whatever. But any brains that are trying to change now and want me a part of the change, just like i'm a brand ambassador size consultant for pink, maybe they haven't done in the past, but a lot of these employees have change.

A lot of them won't change now if it's three years from now when they were asking me, I would feel very differently. But I do think that this is a time where finally, people are making moves and feel like they're able to and i'm not going to say, no, I want to be a part of the change. People come at missing like you're not doing enough, you should do more.

I'm doing the best I can and I don't care. I'd rather be a part of something. Are they making an effort? Is IT bullshit. Like once revolve launches this brand, they need to have more current goals on their trips or I won't on them like people think that i'm not saying these things, like I am fully sharing these things, saying what I see in my comments, like I want this to be the best for everyone, not just myself.

ROM me later. Thank you for coming on color, dad. IT truly was a pleasure I love.