Nicole Byer (FBF) [VIDEO]
01:02:08 Share

What is up daddy game? IT is your founding father, alex Cooper, with call.

welcome.

So this is my dog, just in case that .

moves your dog.

Yeah, he loves a bag.

What is your talk in there, dude, why but why? I just wanted to move .

when you feel like one is in there. But he like, loves about what's this thing?

We, clyde can come out. If you want him to, he can. Only what?

Clyde, oh my god, can I take a picture of that? Dude, the cold. This is iconic. Okay, what kind of dog is that? I think he's .

a puppy on trial mix.

I am like crying. I like, I think this is like what I needed today. I am like the most intense emotional therapy I said this morning. So I was so excited to like, laugh and have fun.

And like, what time do you do therapy?

Nine, fifteen in the world. It's the worst thing that I could have ever done to. So it's so bad. I regret every day of my life.

It's hard fully to talk about my feelings ings. And then I go to work and i've done that before, like in the meal of shoot day and like, I know we have lunch at this time because this was cruel call, I can do therapy and then you do IT and then it's like, okay, back to be so funny.

So what have you done today? So far?

Today, I was supposed to have a personal training session at nine, eight, one, two days ago. I woke up and I was like, still kinds still are so texted him and I like sari bin and then doing IT today. And he was like the call and I was like my apps her, yes, I A lot of dad lifting, i'm tired, so just relax.

Yes, so I went back to sleep until ten thirty. I love that, which is delightful to just sleep in. That's right.

When I was like tears .

in during fair.

We're on different levels today, which is smoking. great. okay? I usually do my interviews always.

Wednesday, noon and last guest I have, I offered them a drink. They were down. Would you like to go make a drink?

Go make a drink. And .

alcoholic.

alcoholic want to go? sure.

So we're just like kind of log part cafe I love is a .

new we're .

trying IT we have to kill up with a board cup OK love that. Come on, client.

OK mayi. X.

You're the first person .

i'd ever pot because .

that i'd made a drink when really like doing a lot. I made a fucking strong that you'll do IT. Okay, let's go. Let's go back. Let down. Let me go.

Okay, so if, god forbid, we lost all the footage downstairs, let's tell everyone, how can you magine? What did you put in your drink?

A little bit of vodka, top a cheek, go ice cube, a flash, a crown and then half of a lemon. So guys, it's really refreshing.

Okay, I did take kila topic and a little a pineapple.

Okay.

it's ching. My first I were .

doing add.

happy to be here.

okay?

So the cow walks IT. And then I, you brought two bags we ve got to do to, which will get too black. Um we have our first live dog ever on a call, her daddy, I set.

This is iconic. This is clyde. We just went back into the bag.

He said, no, thank you to life, which is what happens sometimes when I wake up, you know, unsubscribe. I don't want to be here and i'll roll right over and go back to sleep. I cannot believe you did that.

But so far, like mother, like sign. okay. So what cite is in your bag? Should we go through our bags? Do you care? I don't care. What's you okay?

This is people like good, cheapest, the cheapest when .

they make it's q truly .

the cheapest one. I have my joke notebook.

Oh, nice.

I have a portrait of myself that breathe the customer and nailed his daughter made for made pepper. Very good. My sunglasses.

caves. Love .

that a mask, a wallet. What is this? So to me, oh, I left this note on the door for the fucking ups, man, I was like for my signature sign for me, please, but I spelt sign .

wrong thing singing.

I cracked my to is I actually a little dinner and I just haven't clean my parts out nearly three months. So it's still in here. Oh, money, we just .

casually one percent. You cause a fucking .

two room. It's been in my person like december. I cracked me. I was at dinner with echo catalan, who's on grand crew with me. This nbc show that I think is really funny, people should watch. And we read dinner and gracy, who's also on the show, we were talking, they were talking about something.

And I bit into a french try, this soft est piece of food you can have, right? I felt like good and I was like, huh? I was chewing. I like, that's hard.

And then as I was talky, I just kind of spit out as a does my two and like, I did stop the conversation I just put in my Brown kept talking because I was like, planning. Now how do you stop the conversation? We like you to fall in out as my, either fully out of my fucking head.

So then I like, call my best friends to you. When I got the car was like, my cheese really get to my bra. yeah.

And then when I got home was like, i'll keep IT safe and and and like a zip lock bags. So like when they asked for you to glew IT back to my fuck and head, i'll have IT. But I went to the dentist. Nobody ever asked for IT.

So he has been in my person, that is, I am not even so what in my .

nearly took the cake .

on best fucking opening purse we have a dog, we have a tooth is a great way art of bucking the cast .

fact I know you're talking .

about them when something what happens you know that conversation you're like there is no right way to address which just happen, which is my tooth is out. So i'm going to talk that in my team. I know we will address this later .

yeah and I only told them about IT like I don't know a weekend a half ago and they're like you broke your tooth and you didn't say one where I think I didn't hurt, didn't hurt at all.

Look, there is there is back. Hi kite. Um okay, so you have how many podcasts you have right now?

I have four how just one mentally .

stay saying and have four podcasts.

So one of the tricks is like two of them talk about something. So it's like a built in OK. So like one is ninety day if you don't say one is me in loan.

Lack is going through things we don't like. We're in the marvel cinematic universe right now. The other one is why I want you jain me, where we talk about love.

So it's like built in. And then the other one best friends are and made a she's like my best friend. I can't believe I just fumbled her name like that.

You want to try again so .

sure if you mission so he is a meta and that's like just about friendship and shit and is just like we just start talking and IT just goes anywhere.

So like easy okay, so your podcast, why won't you date yes to confirm are you single? Yes okay are you dating .

um you know i'm tired um so I was like in the thick of IT and like right after I got vaccine, I was like, yes it's the roaring to when is IT is not people were like free and excited for like a hot second and then oma crime was like hello and there was like we go back and cy, I don't fuck in now so now people are just like not looking for a relationship. I'm looking to fuck until the next version.

When did you first realize you were great at making people laugh?

I guess when I was a kid, my grandmother SHE SHE was from barbato. And inside of being like, you make me laugh. You'd like, oh, you tickle me and i'd be like, oh, I I want her to say that again so I would like, keep trying to make her laughs so you of me so when I was a kid and then he would go and was put him on a show.

Did you ever like have community point like you were getting in trouble in school or now.

oh yeah, I am ihg. So like, I would just be very distracted and I would finish my work very fast and ability. Can we talk women to a woman?

Like, all of these kids are stupid, right? Like they are not good at anything and my teachers really like SHE, doesn't pay attention and we don't know how to make her pay attention. Like, I don't know if we had learnt tools about what little girls are like with a hg. We're like flight targeted.

annoyed now I know, but I get what you are saying. Like when you're Younger, you know how know how to like host to that energy and you look at you like, I just learned how to teach me the way that I should help me.

that I would have a nice of time at school. I have one teacher who used to just send me out the classroom. My mother worked in the school.

Should be to go fine, your mom, I don't come back with out. So then I just like rome, the hall is me. Like, where is he? I got sent out again.

And like I was just tickling the people, i'll be mad at me. okay. So for dating, look, first of all, obviously your podcast is called why they did you have you figured out that answer? Yeah, well, well, yeah.

i'm a lot. I'm not to take in. I'm not to handle. I'm also a very specific type of person. I'm black, i'm fat, i'm loud, i'm successful.

That's a lot for a man to be like I accept all of like it's like not only in my successful, but i'm also like I stick out without saying anything. How the fuck can I pretend to be anybody else? I'm only getting older and i'm getting .

more tire and we're throwing away .

which truly just and so old.

So you're kind of like I don't have time for IT like except .

really can't like yes, you don't like IT.

then we go to the next and I love that.

that did game good. And then we could, you know, have a conversation so you want me to be little quieter, I could be quiet, you to show up in mouth, and I shared you OK.

That is a good compromise. You found your boundaries essentially i'm a lot, but I can read IT in if the dig proves to be worth.

although it's just like the dick and to be attached like a nice, nice, nice person yeah all right.

There are more than A I didn't really do you have a type?

I don't think I have a type. But if we look at the people i've dated for more than like a week or two, there is a type. I will tall glasses.

Oh, I like that now like a little nerdy boy and is a trend.

I guess. So I don't know. I just can't fain being with, like a very muscly person .

I agree with you incense like I know seeing when men have so much muscle, I all my brain goes when I know this is probably run like, what is that? That's what they do with their time. Yeah, of a job. What do you put your like physic before everything in .

a interest? Are you on steroid? Are you gona hurt me?

Do you know what is your biggest turn on personality wise when you're dating someone I like.

when someone can laugh at my jokes and I like IT when someone has jokes of their own and it's not like a competition, but not with dudes were like, i'll say something in the law and then we'll say something in the laugh and I like build on IT and then they like, I didn't want you to be funny er than me I wanted to be the funny one and I am like, oh, bay.

is that an issue? Bay I realized for myself like I can be loud and I I took me a long time to realize like I cannot take the loudest person in the room, because sometimes I am, and I don't want to be competing with myself. And i'm always gonna win.

Are you dating someone I am. Are you married? no. How long has IT been?

It's crazy because i've never been an illegal. I've not had a lot of long relationships because I i've got like I like you, like I A shit, but i'm doing and ready if they're not perfect, like I can't waste my time. China not be there to be perfect.

It's just like things have to be and has to feel good. yes.

And so I always went for a specific type of guy, and for the first time, I kind ventured out a little bit. It's successful but a little more chill and it's working. He's so supportive of my career. That is like the hot thing a guy can do for yeah and not .

be intimidate and not be jealous and not bring up their shortcomings because it's like, oh, so you're proud of me but then you're going to bring up the other thing that like is happening to you and it's like so you're not actually proud of me. You're just saying IT so you can projecting your insecurity on me and it's like I don't want .

that but we can both .

exist yeah we can both exist in you can be in a low and I can be in a high and then I can be in a low and you can be in a high and it's .

just a fucked and roller coaster of life. IT is what is the most ridiculous excuse someone has given you as to why they were not interested in another day and advice first.

lets see the most ridiculous excuse i've gotten .

more and more is being revealed as this dog comes out. Now i'm seeing like the bodie too.

He also has a purple tail. But I .

can see IT all oh.

quiet yes.

he, oh.

now yeah, he he's such a good boy. Okay.

excuse you did to basically not go back out with someone and someone that's given IT to you.

Men have been rather up front with me were their leg. You know, I just really don't see this like working out. I think you are too busy or whatever. I I know I am too busy. And okay, I don't give excuses. The last day I went on where I was like, all this isn't good for me I was like, hey, I don't feel Spark and um I really wish you the best and he went fine and I like, lucky.

fine, fuck you I mean.

more or less IT was definite like a big fucker and I like, okay, I actually like that europe .

front because I would rather than just like it's not yeah just tell me it's .

not working like you're not going to hear my feelings there's a million other people in the world is really like three days I don't fucking know you. It's like just be like, oh ah you're not who I thought you would be I would like to deep with this dude who was like to see no if no idea who you are and I like seems like you do seems like if you have to tell me you don't know me, you know me then he got very, very drunk and then he was like, I watched in region and I was like, oh, I thought, you don't know who I am he like, I don't and I was like and he was like, my roommates know who you are. Don't talk about me like your pocket and I was like, well, now i'm going to have to .

what do you think he was insinuating? I don't know who you are on a call.

I think he was one of those things where he was like I under your successful and i'm going to make you .

feel bad about IT little the penis truly rivals past my grow when they do that you're like your shop with .

that is yeah I just kept blinking and then I was like you to my house like, truly he was like, i'm a literal red flag built in a factory whose come to live as a man and I was like, great come to my house be one .

of five yeah I just told you I basically hate you. You're like, perfect. Get out of here and then like that though, when a guy is kind of like that, no, I just enjoying.

yeah, I was truly like we've been out for a while. I've invested some time. Maybe maybe this sex won't be fucked in trash.

And see, IT was trash also. We got on my heart tub, and I, this is all. So we get to the hot tub and the light start working in IT and IT.

Let's get in in. Anyway, he was a OK. I was like, what is the hot? Was that a bird or no? I was like that a bat. I though there was a dead bat, my heart time, and I was like, that's fine palmed IT threw IT out and we got him hot. And then the next morning .

was that in a dead bird you are so casually the hot, i'll do anything to .

get the how truly I was like, I will get rabies as long as I get fuck and then morning bird, I was like, what are you doing in my friend?

You just get to a whole new level like, yeah, there was a dead bird. I pumped IT just so I could .

get this post fuck yeah and .

good so IT wasn't bad.

No, IT wasn't good. IT wasn't good.

So I was bad. So you palm a bird for bad sex yeah. Or rats.

you know, when you're freeze IT like that. wow. wow. Down a all really .

too nasty for the great name. Okay, that thank you for sharing this story. That's actually quite.

Are you currently on dating apps? OK? What are your thoughts on the dating apps right now?

We're not good. Can you not be so loud sides .

like this is a podcast like like we're getting to the dating apps. I've seen my mom on those things.

They're awful. They're bad. Well, it's like ny. You can connect with people on that you would not Normally connect with, but like everyone's really poorly behaved there.

I don't like that. I hate bumble, especially tenters like fine hinge. I've had the most success on rya is for australian DJ and very pretty people. Coffee meets bees, literally insane.

You have to like get beans to then spend IT on bases and people are bangles IT does it's like a game and IT doesn't make sense OK keep its full of fucking weird. I was rejected from e harmony weet why they said I was part of the two percent of unnatural people. It's a long little fucking quiz they give you interview, I don't know, but they have asking him by like like horses.

They actually in three different iterations. So I just answered differently when they repeat questions. And I guess that that .

makes you sociopaths, you really stop trying to force .

horses on me so barre.

i'm surprised you said, you like tender.

I like tender.

I you like dick pic. Now.

I mean, if you want us to me or dig, I like to see what I working with first. No, I think I like tinder because people are more from untender. They're, oh, i'm not looking for anything. I'm looking for you know a hook up or they're like i'm ethically non ban arguments and I have a partner and i'm just looking to fuck and like no offense but like the ugliest people are non monograms and i'm like you look like a sad clown with your weird brillo pad looking here, then you're like strange looking partner and it's like, why do you get to fuck so much?

This isn't fair. Okay, if you have to. Mary, fuck, kill, yes, tinder, hinge, bumble.

mary, mary, hint, fucked, kill, bumble. I just want to get fuck, I just want to be deep dig so well that, like, I like getting fucked. stupid. Do you know?

Yeah, like you wanted to feel like what .

the fuck is happy? yeah. Like, who am I? Where am I? Do you tell .

people that not obviously, you're not saying on the dating, I like, I want to get dick down. You're ready. What do you what do you say if people like you never look? What are you looking? Aren't you saying that?

No, so my heart festival is like i'm not trying to get to know you over texting. That's weird. You might text really great or you might be really bad at texting. So i'm like two interactions, three interactions and like ask me out if you don't ask me .

out and moving along, you've got ta get off the appi. It's like this as possible. I get the bye, but you're down then I get the fuck off the yes, have you ever had someone that's a super good texture and you meet him sitting you're like, oh .

yes, there was this one guy who he kind of a look like a name like he had walked off someone's lawn into the bar he like was wearing these suspended he was little and I love a short king, don't get me wrong and he was like, very cute, rounded in my face. I'm rounded in a face. I was like, this is great um and he was such a good texture but that in persons IT was like really hard to talk to him yeah he was like, very, very boring. And on that day he had gone to the bathroom and I went to the bus to get more drinks and the bartender was like, how was your night going and I he sit, awful, an awful date and he went, that's good and then he went, wait, what? And I repeated, he laughed hard, is like, nobody y's ever that honest and then he kept brigg's drinks over, and the guy was like, oh, do you know the bar tenners, I guess my best fucking friend wow.

So the noman you didn't work out no.

he had to go back to the garden.

everyone in the country life.

What is your best piece of dating advice?

Don't dim your late for anybody. Don't like yeah be smaller than you are just because like scared of outshining somebody because whoever likes you for you is for you. And if they they like this thing you've made up, that's a really hard thing to keep up. You know, you're going to just be so tired. Do I used to do .

kindness that when I was Younger, like I was a good community, I was like, I can tell this person wants and I made to give IT and you're also a mature and you're just trying to connect. But god dam, i'd beyond date five and you like this, could do you want to go to that edm count? You get so deep in that then you are not yourself and then you have to end IT even though you're like, I probably would have liked .

him if I was myself yeah because there's one thing being like, I love edm oh my god, just like blazers and I also do I think me me there's like this I don't know. I don't know either but like it's no of me to be like I don't know edm, but i'm happy to like share that with you if you want to take .

me and teach me health and wellness.

I mean, this is a lot fucked in therapy.

This is there. We're going we're slowly going downhill like our sitting were like IT is so hard when you're lying about yourself to yourself and then also see your partners and things just get darby anyways. Do you have light guidelines of how long you tell yourself you a wait to fuck someone up and this is on the light .

guideline and what .

you tell yourself.

I like to fuck on that first date there. I mean, kind of because then it's like, okay, we had a good first state and then we wait and then we wait and then we wait and then like, what if it's bad? And I mean, for some people, sex is not important and that's like good for you, but it's important to me. And I mean, I waited once, six whole dates, six whole days.

No.

never no six old dates, which was like, I guess, two weeks, because we're really pretty fast suffer ious. And then like IT was bad is like we just really had no chemistry, even kissing and like that I was like, oh no, i've wasted six dates, six whole dates. I'm also still single so like i'm so single you like .

so everything i'm saying to the opposite .

just in case you just so so week.

but I think it's good too because like you've clearly you've such a formula for yourself like you know, if I can work, everyone has got their preference and I think that it's good to hear from you though. Like ladies, if you're fucked and listening.

get out there and fuck you. And I also think there's like no hard rule. It's like whatever fucking works for you, works for you IT might not work for somebody else also, relationships are hard.

I feel like sometimes people like they're so easy. And I like lies, lies. It's friendships are hard. It's hard to have like to like keep up with friendship sometimes.

So like so in that who is your friend? Because whoever you date should be your friend and then you're going add sex on top of that and the expectations because they're more than a front like that. And yes, and boundaries and being like I want this from you, I don't want like relationships. I think they're really hard.

There are so hard and that such a good topic just of like how underrated and I always feel bad like I have girls right into me always like you, like i'm like fucking y chick like all my friends are in relationships and i'm single and like I can't help like obviously am happy for them, but i'm having little hard time being fully happy. Some like fuck you guys, but it's like when everyone goes through the single phase and you fuck and feel IT when you're in that single phase and it's like no one talks about like you should be at time, is fucking depressed when you're dating because it's like you .

can make you feel good about yourself and .

not in the good way, not in the good way, but i'm sure that makes for .

good content sometimes. Some I have literally like been driving to a date and like looked at the heavy like, I don't want a story. I just wanted meet someone nice and then hold me like, I drove a scooter here and scoot away from me. I like, well, okay.

that's my next and .

helps you. No, I can't have anything .

nice do that's actually so fucking sad. I felt that in the beginning, color daddy, some of these dates I be like, man, you know the first like twenty epsom of color daddy, I was like, i'm pop in off with this content then I was like, IT would be called.

have just like one good one yeah just one nine state where the person was like, fucking Normal and you're like, that's not the cards for me but then .

the none of the scooter showed up and that what fuck the shit? What is your vocal level in the bedroom and what do you like from a partner?

I don't think i'm like loud and loud, but I like to be like i'm enjoying myself if it's data silent and it's just like. I'm like, oh, no, are we all concentrates hard and it's it's not that difficult. Yeah I like to let my partner know that. Like, i'm enjoying myself. I like, I like when a guy mods.

if a guy mounds and is like, fuck yes, I like, i'm doing this.

Yes, my who is so tired, he can help himself but make nose and makes me so happy.

I love a vocal guy. I agree. Like I, have you ever had a guy that's so quiet? And would you ever say something to try to?

Yeah, yeah, I really like, do like this. Where is he? Like, I ve never had anyone, not their head that may be either. Well, you've got a wait. So you're not facing them because they have to have an audible report, verbal and their hand from behind you go, you like this and you can go, yes ago. Yes, yes, yes.

it's nice. Yes, actually, guys you heard to hear birth is actually really, really great advice and ignored everything else he said. But this one we can go at, say, IT, while you're getting fuck from the back.

Yes, because the rivers back there has to say a work because others SE, we're ignoring you and it's like, excuse me, you back and then if you're blowing someone, if you just look up at them and go, does that feel really good for you? They're not. And then if they not, they go you could just go, yeah how could IT does that feel? And then we'll be like, really, really good. You're like keep telling me with that and then you have to coached a million into what you like.

You're the teacher and you've got to just give them the prompt and just let the even into one word answer that to start rather than silence.

yes. And then when someone goes, I like that. Don't stop.

Don't you working there? Do something. Don't bigger your hips. Nobody wants IT nobody, all right, who are fucking home. You were pounding ding me that way and I liked IT don't for whatever reason I feel like whatever we go.

don't stop. Feel like OK get this confidence that they're like, oh.

likes IT and they.

this is painful. Now, the jack .

camera, I want my date ones of this man who had had really long fingernails and there was a dirt under them, and he's actually get added here. And the only thing I could think of I was like, he's going to give me titles when he figures me. I was like, I can't go any with this man, so I like, I do you remember what I told him? But I like lid.

I I think I was like, I ve a arly flight. He was like, he got kind of like bad. I was like, I didn't want to be like, you are going to make me sick in my post.

I do look at men's finger. You have to if there's jacket edges that's going to cut up, protest the start. You get titles.

If they're long, they might scratch you. I don't do scratch you. Then he went ill. You got your period. I was like when you said ill to you did this you injured.

You injured me carving highest graphics in your fucking in pose and you're like, you need to really down. He cut you that hard and had dacy to blame my mother nature. This is fucking human inflicted, you ask IT was rid.

wow. okay. Is there anything specific that you will not do in the bedroom?

Oh I mean like extreme stuff， like you can't shit on me. Um so no P P. I just doesn't seem nice like you just .

wait there for IT .

you do IT to them. I mean, yeah, if someone was like q pm, I I believe what we have to get in the shower. I'm not like i'm my bed.

Yeah, I see on his bed.

in his bed and you're .

not slept .

over and not sleeping over later up. No, because I feel like men don't do their sheet after them up and I feel they make something they come over piece .

day from back o but that go to you. Last one p on you. No shading. You think you? I think that's good.

This seems, I mean, not to not to yak someone's Young wouldn't awful phrase, not like kitching. There you go. Yeah.

that's not for me. Okay, I think that's very fair. Okay, wait.

what wonder you do in the bedroom? I think I went to an extreme and .

I can like trying to you're like and I think IT too far. No, I would not like those things like a gag in my mouth. I can't if if, if the penis is fine, but an actual like thing that's like little fixating me like I don't like not being able to properly breathe. So I think that's on my line, but i'm like pretty open. I'm trying to think it's a hard IT is like a hard, hard question that I asked and you know my own and .

that about me I think I think you could gag me because then I feel like peace. I can't talk right. So I just think, honest.

that kind of good too because if you have a new partner, you can be like today, it's your time shine, baby.

would you be down to have your partner .

like like a cut holding situation? Would you watch them fuck another person in front of you or would that make you .

I think I would get upset because i'm like, hey, I ve never done that with me. Yeah, I think I would just like really .

break IT back to my years like in the corner, like, like, like the sad ogi ears. Like, yeah, fair. Would you ever see some? Yeah, I would ever see some.

I think that sounds like a nice time, although like I do think of force would be nicer because I think when three people get together there's always one who's like a little little do I tag in like, excuse me, I think there's a sex and city episode de where charley has a three sum of the dude she's dating and then they just hook up and she's like trying to get in and then she's like.

I think and you're literally like.

you put me in coach and I studied, I studied.

I watched all the ports this morning. I know exactly around and no one wants me to do IT. Yeah, that's actually fair like you can kindly you could be the odd man now and if they're tore the other two people like we might well do something because there you know I actually agree okay, I want what's you're take on I mean, I just really rattle off topic and just give me what comes here ahead. When you think about jim cell fees.

jim self is, I mean, does anyone know you went to the gym if you don't take a cellphone? It's like the true falling in the woods. I used to like tweet about going to the gym just to be like I went, is a one proud me.

I was there. I did that. I did IT. I talked about like missing personal trading today. I just see, you know, like I do move.

So that's the first. And I came out to about, they needed you to know where I not in my personal dirty, what about camin .

cademy special? K fine.

K hall.

sometimes you get A K only dance in a corner. And then you're friends like, are you okay? You like.

time of my life. Unlisted nudes? Hey, no.

we got to ask before we send naked pictures of ourselves to people. Not everybody wants IT, but also sometimes IT is funny when you go to like weird look and dig and you know, like all you worry, are you so competed?

Yeah yeah like IT almost makes you see them in a different light, good or bad. It's good. You just get that out of the way.

Yeah, I once got a dick pic. He was like in, I think, a custodial closet. So there was like a mop next to IT. And I was like, is this here for like what like a size references .

what is like main the back ground of the g holding something like next two week .

dig you like like a coke can to be like like a big this is but it's like you spend time think you're dick out your hand comparing IT to things thought .

of a guy doing that like makes me like like them less. I don't know why that makes me cringe for them. After like way.

let me find something like small IT photos .

of men holding a fish that they caught.

You know, I feel like a lot of people have issues with IT, but i'm like you're telling me in front that you would like fishing. I've never been fishing. I don't plan.

I'm going fishing. So like, I think this great. You know you do you I probably won't go out with you. It's great.

IT gives you the contextual clues that this that may not be the one that's actually really great. Sixty nine.

sixty nine. I think I don't know sometimes I think it's more work than you need to be doing because it's like OK. So it's like an aim and this is at the same time but it's like why are we trying to shorten IT by killing tube with one stone?

Yeah like, let's just a long .

gay yeah and then there's something to just like writing someones face and not having to do any work.

Amen a shower sex, i've never.

because IT scares me. Because what if we slip? What if we fall? The phone's not near. Are we just going to bleed out and die with shards of glass around us? I did ask my friends to year.

I was like, if I do end up having shower sex, can I have you on the phone? I'll meet you for being but yeah yeah you want well, like just like I guess you can't o yeah because sh'd have to be listening. I guess you'd quieter than Normal but sh'd have to listen to like, scream the scream, the glass breaking. I like, really afraid of you. Like, imagine it's just getting wrapped in a shower curtain and rolling red out the .

tub and you hit your head. So what a bad way to go, because then they find you at your expose and just.

I is pretty funny it's .

a funny way to for yourself but maybe for other people to find you. They're like, oh god, I don't want to steal like this at the end. You like it's a little like good, like it's our great parties involved. What about monogamy?

I'm for monogamy. I think there's something to being in a relationship with someone and then like fucking working through problems and like how know being together and like thatch writer die and .

you love on I love that I think that's cute and I agree like IT is a really cool bond that you only have a times in your life.

I agree.

Yeah keeping possessions gifted by an ex.

Yeah, you gave IT to me so I went to cup IT. You said here that for you, I unraveled. That's mine. You're take IT back. Go fuck yourself.

What if you have a new partner, would you still keep position .

ons from your acts? Are you guess like, okay, what is this person giving? Yes, it's jewelry i'm wearing IT IT meant something when they gave IT to me and it's like a memory but like i'm with somebody knew. So just like understand that I had a life before you.

have a life after you. okay? Never have I ever, okay, every time you've done IT drink.

So confused, we've ever have I drink when i've done IT or when i've not done IT.

you've done something. And I haven't read these because my team came up with these ones. So i'm not this is not rigged OK.

I'm going to read these off. And if we've both done IT, we're drink and we tell the story with IT. Okay yeah now i'm going to think too much of IT. Okay, never have I ever had a sugar daddy?

no. Well, this is like a half step.

Like, tell me about that.

I want on seeking arrangements.

Back when I didn't have a job, I was like, I got ta get that cash. Like, but I don't want to fuck for IT so I thought always those like sub here of like the the glory stories i've like, oh, he would just give me all this money and I just had to send in pictures of my feet like I got there's got to be one out there for me. So I met this guy over the phone.

He was quite little, and this is non exaggeration. Eight years, all he wanted was companion nn ship. And he could.

I had like two phone conversations, and I couldn't take IT seriously. I like expecting cash, like he's gna fucking and give me cash. I lived in new york this time. He offered me A A parking spot in parking garage that hit a parking spot. And in new york, though, I was broke.

I like, I have a car. I didn't have a car, but you could have rented that space out. You should have accepted that space, gone out with him once a week, rented that parking spot out. And that's cash for you, is what he was .

in a good location. yeah. Hopefully asn't like the town, cheated on a partner. Never have ever know either.

I don't. I just, would I tell people my business if I cheated on? So I be like, guess what? What folks? somebody.

Good last night. I'm really sorry. Yes, I can keep a secret there.

Peed the bed as an adult.

Oh, yes, yes, me too. Okay.

yes, it's not great.

Yeah just got too drunk, like just absolutely and iolaus and woke up and was like, oh no.

do you so sad too because you're like alone with your thought like you know, when you have those dreams and air your dreams, you're being in your release. That's when mine came. I was like, in my dream, I got a piece out and then that happened. And then you wake yourself up, and there I was just soiled.

And were you drink for? See, that's nicer. That's nicer. That was a dream. I was just so drunk that I blacked out and woke up and was like, D, I feel awful .

about myself. thanks. okay. Fucked more than one person in twenty four hours. I don't know. I don't know if I ve hate enough tensions of the time.

Okay, there was like a week where I was just like, very honey and I was talking like four different dudes on tender and just aligned that one of them was free at like five, and then the of them was free at like ten.

And I was like, well, my as well see this one at five and in the other one at ten and the one at five he was like, he when he ate me out, he like, kicked his feet and I can sit in the mayor and I wait like, he like the hanging off the bed and he was just like, ick battery and I was like, oh no, how do I tell me to that? I go and then I was like, I guess I just finished. And then the guy who came later was A D, J, and he loved that purple devil emerging. These are two not great people.

It's right. It's right. It's right. You got twenty four hours, saw the true colors.

So which one is Better? The D, J. Iron to an up.

much Better. The DJ. Yeah okay, that is a fucking incredible films myself, having sex. Do you ever worry I will come out?

No, because my faces in. And if IT does come out, everyone could go, wow, look at her. She's good at that. I don't know. I know.

Does that on a slept of the co worker?

Oh, I mean, I sleep with somebody who I worked at a clothing store with. And then I feel like comedy is like incest OK. Would you rather.

and you can a minute think about.

Would you rather, and you can take a minute, think about the U. K, would you rather date someone who refuses to kiss you, or someone who refuses to give you oral sex?

Does, but the, I know my guy, what do I choose? This is really awful. I don't know why done.

I like really stressed out. I don't know what I. And it's funny because it's like, this is a game. This isn't like my life.

This is taking .

this finding. This is legal ducking and i'm finding, I guess, word sex can go because like I do love a kiss on the lips and that's nice.

I agree with you like the data day yeah you're doing that more oral is amazing if they're good at IT. So there maybe pick someone that knocked that you can compromise like i'm not missing there. You would you rather cry every time you orgasm or for every time you orgasm?

Really I don't want to boo hoo true that might turn like that might give someone a complex like, okay, see you like, come but when you're like, crying help yeah yeah but like and then IT over.

Would you rather on knowingly marry your second cousin or unknowingly marry someone .

who is committed murder? Oh, okay, I think I would rather marry my cousin because, okay, sure, the genes are close. But like now where you can spend two dozen, I think maybe we've, I don't know.

Like, is IT really that bad? I don't know. This is going to be like the thing people pulled from this, like he said, fuck your family. And I like no and say that I just don't a .

very a mood they don't hear the other side of IT and you like.

I think that you can marry your cousin.

Okay, so to confirm, you would rather that over a murderer.

Yeah, I don't want a area a murderer there.

Would you rather be dumped on valentine day or find out you at comedia?

Oh, I think i'd i'd rather find out I A climate's because, you know, the drug store still open on valentine's day and we could clean.

right? I agree, you, the pill of people .

had that we need to Normalize getting.

yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I like, when do they rebrand? I just run out as st. I am not S T D.

Gonna rea was like, we need to change our imagine baby a little rebranded. Who rebranded? I don't know. The doctors of amErica is another thing.

I guess it's so maybe feel Better.

I think it's it's a sean section away.

Go away. Some of them. Yeah, okay, okay. Would you rather never be able to watch porn again, or never be able to use a vibrator while mastering ating?

Oh, watching porn. Yeah, I love a vibrator who we are, a touchy magic one, a thegn way you use that .

there gone on your place.

Yes, sometimes you get so lonely you're like, I need to be hurt. I've working love with arrogant you put in on the lowest setting though, because if you do the highest setting, like just like straight out the gate, yeah, you might fucking pound your collar to outer space. But like I do like a very gant the little because .

I have like would like, cant my hand?

No, I use something .

to but like, oh, you just like kind .

of turn IT and it's yeah it's great.

I really like and then you have to wash you before .

you use IT on your back or someone else is back .

and next time. That's fair. absolutely. wow. I don't insane. All years, of course. Of course i'm just saying like some OK.

Okay, now mine, my trend is to be out of the water sector is fully incriminating ourselves here today. Have you ever used IT an electric truth brush on the back of IT? No desperate times. And I will say not that really.

I don't know if it's got enough juice for me.

IT doesn't have enough juice. But when you i've been in hotels where I forgot and you're just like I don't want to do this in my hand fair and then but then the next morning when I go to brush my teeth, I obviously going to get a new to brush unless you're into that you know mean I mean, during sex, you probably takes yourself anyway.

So but you're using the the back.

Would you rather only be able to have sex for the rest of your life, or only be able to be figured for the rest of your life? I feel that you IT .

depends on the penis and IT depends on the hand. They are big media fingers. That's nice. Big media dick, that's knife many. Dick, tiny thing is.

I take the dig. Yeah, you have used to look at the logistics s that's actually a really interesting point because I know some guys that are so good at fingering and not as good at the dick game. Yeah, is that weird? When i've had a guy that was so good at fingering, and I was like, this sex is gonna fire. And then we had sex and I was like, go back to fingering me, that was awful. And the guys.

I can think, I think it's so hard.

but I don't think I would .

take IT over sex. I think IT really depends. Yeah.

you're right. You right. Let's leave IT at that. Okay, questions from my listeners with all in the daddy game OK, if you want to say.

hey, daddy again, hey.

that again okay, this grow ruin and said, I have a crush on my gym trainer OK. I feel like he has a crush back, but I don't know for sure we text all day and night is there a way can figure out if he's feeling me too without coming out and saying IT, do I have to make the first move since it's his business?

Yeah, I do think you have to make the first move. Sce IT is his business because then he's like a little creeping. Why are you actually training? Is IT to pick up women and IT will change your relationship and IT will not be the same. But I do think there's something to just being like, let me just shoot my shot. Are you single and do you want to go out to dinner and like, oh, oh, I thought we were just friends you like, oh.

my bad and then get into trying to yeah and change gyms yeah, that's the only thing that does move to a different state.

Yes, move. Get a new car. Who's your family you don't know.

Okay, next, how fucked opposite to hook up with your step brother if your parents got married when you were both already in your twice.

I mean, again, you're not related, right?

You're going to go viral. They are always, always like you showing inside question.

you're not related. You're too adult.

Yeah.

love is love. love.

okay? How do I handle my boyfriend going to the strip clubs every weekend, even though he knows I hate strip clubs?

Oh, well, that's just disrespectful. I don't think you should like police where people do you a voice that this makes me uncomfortable and I don't like IT and he's like, go fuck yourself that's not the person for you. I agree you got to get out and it's not been an ultimately like h i've asked you not to go so like I don't know if this is working out for me. I just get out of IT.

It's a great, great point. Okay, i've been seeing an amazing guy.

but his dad .

is huge or, and the sex is too painful. I really like this guy, but how can I have sex, ed, without feeling like i'm going to rip in half .

so so this girl was like, how do I brag today? How do I make other people feel bad? I know i'll type up an email about this with me and have bid count your blessing. No.

they were like, send him my way bit truly send .

him to my my beautiful giant posty. No, I think you there's like certain positions that are Better for a bigger partner. So it's like try those positions yeah and none of them work that camp.

We need like a little tip to the mid action and you got to .

just also communicate if you stressing too hard, just hey, yeah, what do you mind not doing IT so hard? Yeah just talk.

talk to IT. I agree, talk IT through talking about .

your crying because this might be an actual issue for him because i'm just too big for everybody.

I'm too big .

for this world.

You heard IT here version .

a call is willing to take .

your problem off your hand.

I absolutely will. No, my okay. I know you said.

if a guy doesn't respond to a nude, that's bad, but where is this going? But what if he responds with a photo of himself, just smiling with no words? What are your thoughts?

I mean, I know you said we doesn't respond to nude. That's bad. You, that's so funny that you, this person inherently didn't know that because if I send a new to someone and they didn't respond, I would lose my mind. I once like a, like a picture of, like my tidy out and these, like Jamie I was wearing and they wrote back, ha, ha, ha and I was like, so I jump out the window now he was like, the pictures is live. You're making a noise so I was going but Harry not said that you just loved in A I I wouldn't be here today but dude.

i'm as a live photo, a nude photo. Is the scarious potential for what could like the fact that that was the offence? You're so lucky that you're like you're like helping yourself up. Yes, you imagine if something else is happening like she's arding, she's really disgustingly. Ladies, please don't send a live beauty photo do check that shit toys but if someone tent you .

a smiling like I would be like you got to elaborate like, yeah, is this do you like IT what do we do with you know you could .

do you could double tap the picture and put the question mark oh.

that's good. But honestly, that might just be an indication that like that's not the person for that's a very .

strange response.

That's a little serial killer. Maybe they're trying to be cute to be like, I like that node. You're not getting one from me, know? I would ask, I really like what is this a little people .

like a what question, mark. I think you can trade them call IT out because you just send something fire that deserves like at least two sentences or mog or something. Yeah, that's yeah.

okay. What is your opinion on dating someone with different political views? Is IT possible to date someone like that or no? Should I be like, can you still fuck me.

but also just shut the fuck up? I mean, I think long term, it's not great. I think it's like you're just I think as you get older, you get more involved politically. And it's just like when I continue to have these conversations where you just argue or whatever, but I did bucket trump supporter once because he lived in north hollywood and I had to drive pers so long anywhere in his luke warm hot tub. And he was like, trumps good business man. I like, if you shut up, I will fuck you honestly, he also was a bigger red flag, he in in the one in his room, a red light and his mattress on the floor, and I still fucked him, which is like, not a great message to send to him. And you rewarded .

him for his bad, bad, bad. Your behavior, if one is in the room and he's like trump, you're like that that is not even a red flag. That is just like a nogo. But what I just yeah I mean that any rises are up. So this was years ago.

We are going ten years on the dollar to get get IT was will pay you to take the gas and I was like again in my car for .

more twenty five years I got to him I would have a hard time if he's wearing make amErica grade again hat I don't know um if my post you could even get wet, but I do think I do think if it's really I agreed with you, if it's really early and you're like I am not a fucking and marry the student, whatever he's hot, the deck bag. Lets go fair, yes, but to date someone because what ended happening is you're going to meet their parents and the families and you're going .

to be of the cousin of to like compromise and be like i'm OK with like bigotted or like whatever set behind their closed doors. And there is like a diverse between like maybe like a democrat who's conservative or republican who's like conservation, who's not like super right leaning. Yeah, I think that's okay.

Okay, last ones. Hello, father. I'm in a new relationship and things have been quite stimulates currently. What is your go to sex?

God 啊， oh, no, I ve, this is several people. It's like, did you have a good night? Did you dream about a big black plus y, which is not for everybody, was not a text, everybody cause. And you know.

every dad gave members about to send out sex. You going to cold told that, have you gotten good responses?

I would say seventy five percent of the time it's been a good spy.

I like that though, because one, if you fuck and you can have a sense of humor the next day, hey, would you think about last night? No, like we're not doing that like it's kind of comedy while you're all you're kept IT lie and you're being the one to address like you you .

inside me let go a time. I hope you think .

I I never .

did did anyone who was like, super into sexy. I like apps of people who are like, you want coming to my hotel room and do and i'm like, yeah, sure, i'll come your hotel room and then I guess you will bend me over and they're like and and I like and you'll do IT what happened.

right? Yes, when they're like waiting for you to reply or the worse as i've had guys, quite literally right, like a species of like and then afterwards, once we do that, the next also and it's like they're using quite literally like, yes, like they're using transition words in the sexting. And i'm like, I can't read this whole thing and like, get turned on and like, I don't want to reply to this.

It's good. sure. No, thank you. No setting. fuck. Yes, this was very fine. Did did IT he is the best job for a podcast because he literally did not move, say things guys.

because .

that was short. You know, everyone has a voice for their dog that your voice.

well, this is i'm kite and i'm so hungry right now.

It's so scary when i've done my my dog voice and people catch you and you realize like I guess it's cute or when i'm just alone with my dog no.

it's your psychotic when you're out in public.

Yes, I you wow. Okay, what's next for you?

What should we look for? So I want to to show called grand crew, uh, you can watch all ten episodes on who luu or p cock, maybe especially called big beautiful weirdo. That is on netflix.

Wipe out with john, seen on tvs. And I think bo max, now that is my netflix and then I have podcasts. And yeah, why would you take me best friend's newco as in ninety day by and I think that's .

then congrats. That's so fucking cool and I definitely am not going to go watch that netlist al.

i've heard about that. I you going to at least I think it's fun.

It's fun. You're fun. You got a great energy. You got a great, so fun to part test.

Thank you. appreciate. This is fine. Thank you so much for having me.

Thank you for all.