Lil Dicky: Learning to Love My Dick (FBF) [VIDEO]
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What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy. Do you want me to introduce you as Dave Bird or Lil Dicky?

You know, probably Dave Bird. Really? Yeah. Because I had in my mind Lil Dicky. Yeah. But I get it because your name is Dave Bird. I'm a man right here in front of you named Dave Bird. Right. Like your name's not Lil Dicky. No. That's your rap name. Of course. Okay. We should save all this for the thing, right? Oh, we're talking. I mean, I guess we're. Yeah, we're already recording. We're live. Okay. We're in. Okay. So Dave Bird. Yeah. Welcome to Call Her Daddy. Thanks for having me. Also known as Lil Dicky. Yeah. How are you feeling today? Great. Great.

I love the colors. It's our new studio. We're still trying to figure it out. I would say I love it. I'm having a panic attack because I'm like a little OCD. So like I know everything that's wrong with this studio. I was actually just having a meltdown before you came here. What's wrong with it right now? So I am really frustrated with the close-up shots because the... Is that the close-up? You can see the close-up shot. What I'm not loving right now is the wide shot is phenomenal. You get to see the different textures and the colors. I love it.

But the close-up shot of you and I, we're not there yet. I think my close-up is better than yours. Would you agree? I think it's because you've got the nice hair. What's this? Is that a pink book? It's great. We're going to replace that pink book, though, with a pink Call Her Daddy book. But we put it in there because I wanted to find something that I want to look basically exactly like that, but just say Call Her Daddy. Placeholder. Placeholder. We're still trying to figure out. I would say the lighting's still off.

the call her daddy sign isn't lit. We could go on and on. Um, the camera angles may be a little tilted. It's not perfectly centered. I'm honored to be a part of like the figuring it out stage of this. But you from like just a complete outsider coming in, you were like, this is good. Yes. Does it make you want to like spill your life secrets? Yeah.

Not inherently, but it just like if I had to like repaint my kitchen, I would repaint it like this mauve that like I would you say this is mauve? Yeah, it's like it's a very, very neutrally pinkish beiges. It's one of my favorite colors. It's

Really? Yeah, like I love this. Like I said, if I was buying a new house and this is not just me saying it to you because I'm here in your mob. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I would really like, I think that is the right color. I can give you the color from my designer. Okay, great. It took me a long time because actually this studio is the exact color of my closet. And I wanted to feel like we were kind of in my house while not being in my house. Yeah. Church's original recipe is back. You can never go wrong with original. Exactly.

Still tastes the same like back in the day. Right now, get two pieces of chicken starting at only $2.99 or ten pieces starting at only $10.99. Churches. All for valid and participating locations.

This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Upgrade your business with Shopify, home of the number one checkout on the planet. ShopPay boosts conversions up to 50%, meaning fewer carts going abandoned and more sales going cha-ching. So if you're into growing your business, get a commerce platform that's ready to sell wherever your customers are. Visit Shopify.com to upgrade your selling today. Okay, so how did you pick your outfit today? Oh, very little thought went into it. Thanks.

It's comfortable. This is a matching top and bottom, so they're meant to be worn together. It's so comfortable. And I just like the way I look in it, genuinely. Like, I feel good. Like, I think I look good right now in this sweatsuit. I agree. I like your outfit a lot, too. Thank you. I can give you my merch.

Oh, is that merch? It's my merch. Yeah. Unwild University. That's not an actual college. Got it. It should be though. Yeah. I didn't even read the words, but it's really well designed. You just like the look. You didn't even like hone in on. I just like the green. I like that we're both independently wearing solid suits of comfort. I kind of agree. I agree.

I kind of want you to give like a little intro bio to yourself for the listeners at home, the viewers at home that are like, Dave, who is this guy? Who is this guy? Like, give us a little elevator pitch. Yeah, I was born in a town called Cheltenham, Pennsylvania. It's like a suburb outside of Philadelphia. Yeah, like a nice man.

Love sports, love rapping, music. I guess I'm a comedian at heart and professionally. I always kind of like love making people laugh. Probably my favorite thing to do in the world is to make people laugh. And I've really tried to take that attitude and create a lifestyle out of it, which I guess I have.

And yeah, I don't, I mean, there's, I could go on and on. Is that a reasonable intro? That was perfect. Because we're going to get, we're going to get into it. But I wanted you to be able to kind of like tell me first. So I have an interest in like where you went with it. Yeah. You are a comedian. Yeah. You have a show called Dave. Dave. Which is out now. Yeah. Third season. Yeah. Yes. Yes.

You know, guys, let's give them a little behind the scenes. We're recording this a little before it comes out, but right now we're like, it is out. Go watch season three. Yeah, it's out. It's the best season yet. So the show is loosely based off of your life. That's right. How do you describe the show to people that haven't watched it? Like I said, I've always been like a comedian at heart. So like my whole life, I've been the guy that's like trying to make all their friends laugh. And just like, I feel like conversationally being funny is where I thrive more than like

The way like Will Ferrell can do all these like really dynamic personas. Like I'm kind of trying to be funny in the moment. And I feel as though my show like tries to capture that realism of like a coming of age guy and his group of friends as they're trying to achieve their dreams in life. Mine, which in the show and reality is being a professional rapper. I've lived this life. Like I am a rapper.

And I for a while I was only a rapper. I didn't have the show. And as that was happening, I was like, you know, able to observe and be like this life that I'm living is so inherently funny. Like the setting couldn't be more fruitful for a comedy TV show. It's kind of interesting to hear you say that, too, because I feel like a rapper, most rappers are not also comedians.

Right. Yeah. It's cool that I do. Right. I think that's cool of me. Which one do you like more? I love them both evenly. Truly. Like even and even as a rapper, I I inject my comedy and even in my comedy, I inject my rap. So it's like they kind of go hand in hand. Yeah. That being said, rap is certainly like a young man's game. Like, am I going to be a rapper when I'm 50? I don't know. But will I still be making really funny content? Definitely.

Oh, so you've got like longevity. I don't want to rule out rapping when I'm 60. Like I feel like if I can do that, that's awesome. Yeah, you could be bringing it in your 60s. Well, you know, you could be figuring it out. Yeah. So your name is Dave. That's right. And we're talking about your show, Dave. Yeah. But now let's talk about you, Dave. Okay. Yeah.

You grew up in Pennsylvania. Tell me about your childhood. What was it like? Amazing. Incredible. Had the best parents, still have the best parents, like felt so unconditionally loved, had the best group of friends. The only like adversity trauma was penis related. Let's talk about that. Yeah. Your rap name Lil Dicky stems from the fact that you had a medical issue with

Yeah, well, exactly. A little dicky when I think of as a rap name, I think of like small penis, which really isn't. But it's like it's I think the spirit of the rap name was based off of the bleak truth of growing up and immediately having to get like operated on on my dick. Why did you get operated on? It's called hypospadias, which is first off, there were several operations.

And I don't even know all the facts at hand because I wasn't, I was so young. Like how young? I've just reached, I just told my assistant, I said, Hey, like, can we look into my medical records from like the birth and like all that? Cause I just like my, even my parents, like they can only like, they're like, well, I think it was that. And then I'm just trying to get like the actual true facts. How young newborn, like newborn baby, like has to get surgery on his dick. Yeah.

My urethra was so tangled. It was like, my mom says it was like a corkscrew.

Oh, my. That's so interesting. I couldn't piss right. I mean, they're projecting I wouldn't be able to cum right. They're projecting that for me. And so you'd know it's like, oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah. That is like... So you went basically... Because normal little boys are like... Maybe, I guess, in the United States, you're getting circumcised. You had to get multiple surgeries. I was overly circumcised. I did get circumcised, too. But yes, I...

They had to fix the tangled urethra. On top of that, there was like this condition called hypospadias that like isn't necessarily, it's really a mislocated pee hole. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Is it actually not at the tip? Like is your pee hole like on the side of your penis? Do you want to give it? Yeah, let's give a little example. Here you go. Yeah. Okay. Like let's just keep it real. So this is a boner. Yep. That is a boner. Or any dick. This looks like a boner more than a soft dick. Celsius is like, thanks. Right here in the middle is where most guys' pee holes are. Mm-hmm.

Mine is there. So like if a girl is giving you head or a guy is giving you head, sometimes there's like a little swirly thing you can do with your tongue to kind of like go in the pee hole. Okay. So they would have to go down and... Whatever swirly thing you would do to the underside of the head would be where my pee hole is. Got it. I do. I mean, I've never had another... Yeah, here.

The whole rest of the interview, you're just like holding the shaft. I've never had another dick, so I don't know what like getting head supposed to feel like. I do think that I have less sensitivity in my dick because of the surgeries that I've had. So you don't like blowjobs? I like blowjobs, but it's not, I'm not like, like honestly, I prefer a lubed hand job to a blowjob. And I couldn't tell you why. I assume it's probably because I think I just feel head less as opposed to like the tight grip that,

The tight grip gets you going more than the sloppy toppy delight situation. Yeah. Would you like both? A little handy and a blowy? Maybe. Sure. Okay. I can just, all I can tell you is I have a surprising affinity for the lubed hand job. Like I love it. I think sometimes at least I feel like as women, we get nervous to do the hand job because it's like, how am I going to do that better than you can

do it yourself. It's a third party. It's like nothing. You know what I mean? Like it's just like any third party touching a human feels like if I scratch my own head, that's not going to feel better than even my hairdresser. Yeah. When you're doing yourself, you're like, I know where I'm going to go now. My fingers, the third party. It's like, where are we going to go with it? Okay. So your childhood aside from the penis surgeries was pretty great. It was great. What was, tell me about your parents.

they're great they're they're jewish parents that my mom is a therapist same i mean really the same i think we have a lot of similarities in terms of like growing up in pennsylvania my parents are still so in love yeah i was like well you guys fucked me up because i'm never gonna find someone as good as dad right and it's just like i had a pretty normal childhood for then i think where relative to like where we are now yeah but the jewish i'm dating a jewish guy good for you so

I'm like it's as if I wish my mother would have sat me down at a young age and said listen to me

a Jewish man and only date a Jewish man. I don't know how I didn't have this energy in my life prior. Yeah. Like it's just so much better. Everything is better. Yeah. Everything is bigger and better and happier and just like he's amazing. So your parents were they strict? Oh yeah. Tell us about it. I mean I thought of them as like kind of strict but I never like when I look back at the facts at hand I mean I never drank or smoked at all in high school. Okay.

In part because of the rules and regulations that were applied to the household. First off, I had the earliest curfew of all my friends every time by default. It's just like is what it is. But even independent of that, I had to come home like when I was junior, senior in high school, I had to wake my parents up.

blow in their nose if my mouth smelled like obviously alcohol done but if it even smelled like mint or gum done like if there was any like yeah so it's like I couldn't isn't that crazy wait what did they think was happening with mint or gum they thought I was drinking and then trying to cover it up with the mint or gum yep yep yep yep so I never even drank but I also I think deep down

was relieved by these rules because I wasn't even socially ready. Like I was like fearful of like drinking. Why do you think that was? I don't know. I honestly think, I don't know. I think truly the reason I bring up my dick is because it created this like layer of like insecurity that was ever present socially, especially like once people started dating and like hooking up and like now they're playing spin the bottle and it's like so stressful. And like, I just like associated, like, I think,

drinking with like romance and and romance with like oh my god but does my dick even function and so I was just like pretty avoidant of like you know even though I was like popular and uh I was cool like I was so cool okay there's so many things to unpack here hold on rewind number one do you have siblings I have one older brother

Interesting. But I carry myself like an only child, don't I? You do. It almost feels like you just like popped out of the ground and like you're here. Yeah. I get though the concept of like... I had that a little bit also just because I was a very competitive athlete of like drinking when you're at that age is kind of scary because...

all of your inhibitions go away and you're completely out of control of yourself. And at that point you have like no fucking tolerance. So you're like one beer in and you're like, let's do some crazy shit. And if you were insecure about your penis, then obviously I could see you being like, I want to be aware of how to like navigate these situations and not be inebriated and then like go do something. And I'm embarrassed the next day. When do you think you realize though you were embarrassed about your penis? Because like no one knew.

I can't remember a time where I wasn't like, I like, it's like the earliest core thought. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, but I can tell you when I felt unembarrassed for the first time, which is... Oh, please share. Like I start my whole series of my show, like at the urologist's office, like revealing all this information. It was just like a true cathartic moment for me to like, because...

I don't know. I just think I think I had this image in my brain for better or for worse of like what I am as far as like my legacy on this earth. And I think it was really largely tied to like this show being created. And like so I feel like by becoming who I always thought I was with this show, I was able to like put behind my insecurities and just like, you know what I'm saying? I totally get what you're saying of.

Sometimes the best way to deal with insecurity is to just go at it face first, address it, acknowledge it, be the first one in the room to laugh at yourself. Yeah. I had like really, really bad acne in high school and in middle school, but high school got so bad. Accutane? Oh, four rounds. I was on it last year.

That recently. I just got off. Like three months ago, I got off. You look great. Was your acne on your face? Body. Body. Insane body. My back looked like Vietnam. Let's talk about that Vietnam situation. Because I had it on my face.

You had it on your back. I'm sure people listening are like, thank God, normalize it. Because it's so fucking awful. You hate it. You're embarrassed. I remember that obviously affected me like with my sexuality a little bit because I was so nervous. I wanted to sleep at a guy's place.

Yeah. Like I wanted to go and like be there, but I was too afraid to wake up with no makeup in the morning. So I would literally like if I did sleep over, I'd be like, yeah, I relate to that. Fucking move an inch because I didn't bring makeup and I can't like fuck it up because I had such bad acne. Yeah. How do you remember that?

to compensate for an insecurity and like going out of your way so people wouldn't know about something you're insecure about. Well, with the body acne, like literally like a I would first off when I'm alone, I sleep shirtless like I must. But like anytime I was with a girl, I would wear a T-shirt and I'd be like, oh, yeah, I always sleep with a T-shirt. And then like if it was after we had sex, I don't have sex in a T-shirt. But like I remember like like walk into the it was really my back, not my front. And I would be like.

I would walk out of the room backwards and be like, I'll see you in a minute. And then back out of the room. But even in high school when I had more facial acne, this is one thing that I don't even think I told anybody. You get the exclusive. I used to go into my mom's makeup area, take little cotton swabs, and scrape out her Laura Marisier or whatever the fuck. And I would scrape...

fucking makeup and then I would you know have and then so every morning I'd wake up and I'd have these q-tips that the end of it had makeup on it and then I would apply it like to the spots and then I would like if like I brushed my face and like I'd be like holy shit and I'd be panicked and I have to go to the bathroom and reapply it and I never told anybody and it was a big secret I used to always have these little q-tips on me all the time

I appreciate you sharing that with me because what I don't think is fair is for the fact that I had the ability to like put makeup on and then socially it's like you're wearing fucking makeup Dave but it's like yeah I have a breakout and it's like how red it gets and it's it's fucking awful so I appreciate you sharing that because I've ever since I've just been like

opened up about it. I hate using that word like opened up about the struggles but it's true because like when you're in those dynamics you are so self-conscious people are staring at it. Yeah. You feel so embarrassed. You feel like gross and I think when it's also on your face you're like oh my God are they listening to what I'm saying? Are they staring at me? Like I used to hold drinks just like when I'd be talking if I had like

I would just be like this. The old drink trick. Yeah. And it's like, it's not a great way to live. So I appreciate you sharing that. Back to you didn't drink. When do you remember was the first time you got drunk? College. Where'd you go? University of Richmond. And that's a fun school, right? Yeah. So all of a sudden...

thrust into the world of like full on binge drinking. You know what I mean? Like having never even gotten buzzed and really stressful, like totally in over my head. The thing that saved me was I had, you know how like some shot glasses are like taller. So I had this tall, thin shot glass that I was told or was under the assumption that it was a double shot.

So I would go out and think, like all my friends would take six to eight shots and go out and I would only take three or four of the doubles thinking I was taking eight.

And thank God because I – And you're like, guys, I'm fine. I've got the double. Like I don't need another one. I'm over here having doubles. But man, like at Richmond, it's so fraternity and sorority based. And I'm like not that guy. I'm like not a – like I felt – and so like I was like – one of my roommates was like pledging a frat and I'm seeing this guy get woken up at like 2 a.m. with no –

planning or any idea to like get blacked out drunk. They're not like, I have no clue what this guy's schedule is the next day. Like he could have like a huge exam. Doesn't matter. And I'm like, I can't play this game. Like they're waking me up and I'm getting blacked out. I can't do that. I'm trying to get like a great GPA. So you were very socially popular. You said in high school. Yeah. But you're not drinking. Did you play sports? Played tennis. I was a tennis team captain. Okay. The most successful tennis team in the history of our high school.

But like that didn't really give us any social cash. No one cared about that. I was going to say, I don't think I would have given a fuck. I was just funny. I was just I was just funny. So like I was like one class clown and like, you know, I was friends with all the popular kids or whatever. But like I was never the guy that was like the girls wanted.

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When did you lose your virginity 19 so like I was like and So I was it was like after a freshman year of college in between the summer between freshman and sophomore year of college Okay, bring us there. Where were you? Who was this person? I don't I don't like the name I'm not gonna give the names I'm not gonna but all I can tell you is I just remember like my main thought being like oh my god it it functions my dick functions and

And like it was such a relief in that sense. Like I was like so nervous that it wouldn't like be big enough or like be the right angle when like a girl comes on top or like, you know what I mean? And like had you never jerked off? Oh, my God. No one jerked off more. No, I was setting like land speed records for masturbation and like the tri-state area. I jerked off so much. No one horny or no one. No one coming more.

But like not with any woman. So for your whole middle school, high school experience, do you remember the first time you jerked off? Yeah. Tell me. Britney Spears, the music video where she's.

It's like she's in the red suit on Mars. Lucky. I don't think it's lucky. I think it's like, oops, I did it again. Is it? Not the school girl one. What was that one called? Is that oops, I did it again? I don't think it is. I know what you're talking about. She's in the red fucking latex. There's not even a piece of skin showing. It's like a bizarre choice. She's never been more covered. But yeah, it was Britney Spears. First off, so I was jerking off. Felt the feeling of

about to come and was so scared by it was so different that i stopped and i didn't come and i and then i didn't revisit it until like six months later at summer camp and then i creamed yeah you like edged yourself for six fucking months you're like and then man like was deep in it a new man was born every day at least once um i was yeah i mean the the

the women were blossoming and I was like, just like, you know, the music videos that were out TRL. Are you kidding? How are you going to watch TRL without jerking off at least one time?

Thank you for sharing that. Because I thought you were going to say you splooged to Britney Spears, but to know you started and you were just too afraid because of your dick or because of like shame or whatever. I don't think it was dick or shame. It was just an overwhelming feeling. I was like, whoa, like new feeling in life. Like I'm kind of like risk averse, like not like, you know how people like to be out of their comfort zone. Don't like that at all. I hate the feeling of being out of my comfort zone. So when I felt that sensation of like pre-cum,

You're like, nah. Not ready. I wasn't ready. Not ready. Yeah. When was the first time like a woman touched you sexually? Was it the first time you lost your virginity? No. Okay. Well, tell us that. I said I wasn't like the guy that got girls, but I was certainly best friends with every... And so I was like hanging out with all the hot, cool girls in my school. And then one day like...

First off, let me tell the story of my first kiss, just so you're aware of the climate. Bring us through the timeline. I'm the last guy to everyone. I don't know if they used to call it depruding. Did you ever hear that? Yes, you're so fucking prude. Let's deprude you. Everyone in my entire circle had kissed someone except me. I was the last one. I'm sitting in my friend's basement and they're like, please, someone's got to just kiss him.

And I'm just sitting there and then like one of the girls is like, just do it. And she was like, she was like, really? And then like she went and like had like a she was like, hold like let me and then the girls like went in the bathroom and like had like a 10 minute convo while I'm like waiting to see how it netted out.

And then she came out and she was like, okay. And I did it. And it was like really over. It was like the feeling of saliva, like tongue to tongue. I'm kind of a germaphobe. Like it's like weird. But I was thankful that I was given the opportunity. Did you feel in that moment embarrassed so that everyone was like, just fucking do it. I was so like, yes, but it was so like my default state of like how I was socially and how that it didn't feel new. It felt like I was, this was just like the state of life. It felt unremarkable. But like when I think back to it, I'm like, that's interesting. Yeah.

That is. Yeah. But I was relieved to like now like to like have like that was more of a relief, I think, than losing my virginity. Although that was a big relief as well. I was in college. We're going to go through all the reliefs today. So then I had this opportunity one time where like I was hanging out with two girls and they were just like, do you want to feel our boobs at the first? But this was before I even kissed a girl. So actually this is before that. OK. OK, Dave. And so I actually felt breasts before ever kissing a girl.

And I was like my rep like around town was like I was really good at like tickling the breast and like making the nipple hard. And I was like, I felt I felt pride. Did you have any technique when you actually did it? Just instinctive touch. Just like I think I think I have a good touch, like I have a good, delicate touch. Like me as a lover is not like an aggressor. I'm like really gentle and sweet and delicate. And I applied that even back then.

But like, for example, I felt both their breasts at the same time and they were like, now let us feel your dick. And it like it was like a siren. It was like, you know, as if like a bomb got dropped and all I heard was the white noise. And I had to like make up an excuses to like why I wasn't ready. I didn't. My dick was so small and fucking scarred and I just couldn't even deal with it. So I made up and I was like, oh, no, and made up some excuse that I can't even recall that.

And then I'm telling my friend about this experience. I'm like, man, like I just felt their boobs at the same time. And like they wanted to feel my dick. And I was, and then my mom was on the other end of it. And she was like, hang up the phone right now. And then I had to go up there and be lectured by my loving, wonderful parents about how like the crowd I was moving with was too fast. And I was literally like, what does it even matter? Cause I,

I'll never show anyone my dick anyways. Cause the whole, and I started crying. Like, that's kind of like what was going on. I was like crying in front of my parents about my dick sucking.

And what did your parents say? They were so sweet and they were like very empathetic. They didn't realize it was still bothering me and but very awkward conversations to be having like wanted no part of that. Totally. I love how your mom is like this crowd is moving too fast. You're like I've been the last to get kicked. Yeah, I don't drink. Yeah, I literally give you my breath every fucking night. I couldn't be moving slower. Would you have conversations with

with girls that you started it can't it's okay don't it's okay you're like a contortionist it's gonna get better you're gonna come back on for season four and we'll have it all ergonomically sound setup what's the youngest you got a girlfriend senior year of high school okay so when you had your girlfriend senior year of high school are you telling girls no

No. Oh my God. No. So you're the perf, you're really good at avoiding. Yeah. And coming up with like, can't right now. Cause I got a, my mom's over there. Like how would you avoid it? I mean, I would control the lighting whenever, like for years, like really like up until like maybe 2018, like really like.

can't daytime. This is, we don't do this stuff in the daylight, you know? And just, I have like a funny, like that I can like disarm with comedy, I guess. Right. But yeah, no, I was very avoidant. And, uh, but I will say this in my experience, like once I was like, there was a point in time where I was just like, fuck it. Um, let the light occur. And I feel as though for the most part, a lot of women might not exactly know exactly what a dick is supposed to look like.

And so when I realized that, because it's not that crazy. What's crazy about it? I don't know when they appear, but I had these little black dots on my dick. Okay. Like a freckle. Bigger. I'd say like a poppy seed. A poppy seed. Like three dimensional. Cute. And I was like, mom, I got to have these black dots removed from my dick. So I got him removed one of the black dots.

got like, I guess, I don't, and this is all like my theory. Right. Like I don't even, that's why I'm asking for the medical records. Yep, yep. All I know is I had black dots, got them removed, then after I got one of them removed, all of a sudden where one of the black dots was, pee now shoots out of that like spot. So when I pee, I actually have a main hole that's mislocated to begin with, this main hole, as if I didn't have enough problems, a new hole that's like so, it's like a pinprick. You wouldn't even be able to really see it. You would if I like,

stretched my dick out and said, look right in this spot. So when I piss, it's two holes and it's like, like,

Like if I... I have to... When I pee at like a urinal, like I take my finger, my pointer finger, and I clog it and I just piss on my finger every time I pee. Or if I'm by myself, I'll pee sitting down to avoid that and just it'll trickle all over my balls. I was going to say you could sit down. That's always better. I sit down every time I pee, but in a public setting. I mean, a men's room in the stall is like the most atrocious place on earth. I get it. Okay. First of all, I just want to say I do... Because I know there's a lot of joking that goes around this. I actually really do appreciate you...

being so open about it. Because one, I know we said like, deal with your insecurities head on. However, I think that something that is like your dick or like for women, it's like your tits or like what does your labia look like? Like it is a huge thing that can affect your self-worth and like how you feel about yourself. And so I appreciate you being honest because I can imagine there's so many fucking people that are so insecure about sex

a body part. And I think especially for men, it's like, that is like what gives you your manhood. Yeah. And so I can imagine like as much as you've now turned it into like, you've joked about it and you've made it your own. And it's like, that shit is like kind of fucking scarring. Yeah. No pun intended, but like, I really think, I don't think anything has informed like the DNA of my personality more than like,

I'm not like bringing it up because I think it's like, this is so funny. It's like, it's not like a lowbrow thing. I actually think it's like interesting that how this is totally like shaped like my, my,

personality. I think anytime you have an insecurity and like we talked about, like you avoid, you like deflect, like you become so good at avoiding just like accepting yourself, which is really what it is. Yeah. Now that you've been so open about it in your career, has it alleviated in terms of when you meet, like do you have a

let's we'll get there but like before even meeting your girlfriend or your girlfriend now because you're so public like my name's little dicky i'm owning all this does it alleviate the pressure now of when you meet a potential romantic partner yeah that you kind of are like yeah it's my bit like my dick has got this shit like what's up yeah pretty much i would say i also was like man am i just like putting such a bullseye on like pay attention to this like you know if you weren't paying attention before

Now, like maybe I'll really luckily I met my girlfriend like right when the show came out. So I was even like I even there's one episode of season one of my show that's like deeply about this exact topic. And I remember like the second date I had with her. She was at my house and I showed her the episode that wasn't even out yet because I just wanted her to like know all the facts at hand and feel that relief. What was her reaction? Cool.

Cool. Great. Like she's she's like this woman's my soulmate. Yeah. So I think I got a lot more confident when I became a successful rapper and like still like Lil Dicky was like my shtick. But like it wasn't like I wasn't announcing like the true details. I was like, I have a small dick like it was. But it wasn't like I have a small several times operated on dick with mislocated holes and extra like it wasn't all the details. Right.

And I just think I had enough sexual encounters pre those details, but post Lil Dicky that like went favorably, like were like I was creating an orgasm from the woman, you know, and like I just felt like a competent lover. And so I think I just I was able to I think it's more about like how you work it and just being like sweet and.

I don't know. A gentle, gentle, genuine. Yeah. To the tits. Yeah. Like I had a gentle touch. I guess another last question to wrap that up is like, how did you take me to the moment when you decided you were going to have your rap name be Lil Dicky? Uh, like, I don't know how I came up with the idea, but like I had the idea and then I was like, well, I wanted to do like, I felt like, especially initially I was like,

My whole thing is going to be that I'm the opposite of what you expect a rapper to be like. So it's like, what is a name that totally encapsulates that vibe? So to me, rap is very hyper-masculine, very like, I'm the man. So I thought, I'm very self-deprecating in all ways. So I thought I wanted my rap name to be totally self-deprecating. Thought of Lil Dicky. And then...

Made a whole list of names for like months trying to beat Lil Dicky. And I never beat it. And I was just like, okay, I think this is like the second best one to me was, and it is a good one. And I sometimes ask myself, would I have been as successful with this rap name? Young man. Hearing that. Young man's dope. Young man's great. Yeah. Someone should be young man. Someone out there should be young man. However, there is no...

Personal. Yeah, it doesn't have that zing. It's like, who the fuck is Lil Dicky? What? I know. So I do my rap name. Like, honestly, truthfully, I hate my rap name, but I also love it. Okay. Because it's like, I think. Why do you hate it? Because it's just like, when I see people on the street, they're like, yo, Dicky. I just like, don't see myself as like, Dicky.

You know, like I don't like like it doesn't I don't like I go like a little bit cringy when people are like, yo, Dickie. Like, I don't I never grew up people calling me Dickie. It had to been little dick. Would you like that? Like, hey, Dick.

I think I might. But Lil Dick is too, like, I don't know, like, too overt. Like, with Lil Dicky, I think it was perfect because you're thinking, like, is it? Is that what it is? Right. But now that you've been so open, you could get rid of the why. Like, you could leave this room today and say, it's Lil Dick. I love Lil Dicky. It's like, it's my curse and my blessing. And I bear it. And I bear it proudly. Yeah. It's interesting to meet you in person. Am I not what you thought I would be? No. No.

I think you're like way more like sensitive and normal and grounded and like you're really funny. But I can tell that like now knowing more about you where you came from, like you're of course you're funny, but like you're a really, how do I say this? You're like a really sweet guy that is like in a very flashy world that can get,

a little bit misinterpreted sure especially because you're playing a version of yourself on a show but naturally I mean I felt it sometimes with my show where I'm like I don't talk every minute of the day so like in the past shows I like never shut the fuck up and I was talking about sex and dating and relationships but it's like I'm not doing that all the time yeah so I'm I'm relating to a little bit in the sense of like who you're portraying online and a character even you just being like a rapper let's just start there like yeah

Rappers... Have a certain persona. You know what I mean? Especially me. It's like I... Yeah. The show really, I think, helped for anyone who was like, I don't know about that Lil Dicky guy. Seeing the show is like... Even if I'm not the same exact... It's way more than just seeing a music video of a guy rhyming. Yes. And everything's rhyming. Good point. Good point. Talking in a rap voice. And I think with the show, I want to come... I don't like... I don't want to be an unlikable character. And I think I'm not...

You said that the writer's room for your show, Dave, is like a group therapy session, except it's one where the sole focus is on you, which is kind of fucking interesting. What is a hard truth that you've been hit with in the writer's room? Because everyone's focusing on you. Like, Dave, what are we... Yeah, like, what are your flaws, man? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do they manifest themselves? Is there anything that you've, in a writer's room, been like, fuck, I need to think about that more? I'm pretty self-aware. And I...

I, I've never felt like, and I guess the writers do a good, I can tell that they all genuinely like me. And like, we were, I'm friends with a lot of them. And I think, you know, I've told them, I'll tell them stories of like my selfishness, like, but it's like, they're, I've always known I was selfish. So it's like, I just by default have like kind of always lived life. And it's a privilege perspective to have, but like trying to maximize my self-interest and like, you know,

For example, just like dating. I never got girls growing up like, oh, now I'm a famous rapper and I have social leverage. Like I have my pick of the litter. I think that's it's kind of an abuse of power. And like especially the way gender dynamics are by default in current society, it's like not an even playing field to begin with. So then for me to be like, this is my competitive advantage. You're not thinking about the other person as a human being. And like it's like, you know, you're like trying to be like, oh, I.

I deserve the best girl. I'm waiting until I have perfection in a woman and no one's ever going to be perfect. And that's a flawed way to date. That's really a privileged way to think about things in general because we're operating as men under the skewed power structure where... I went on so many dates. No one has dated more than me. And I feel like the main thing I would learn as I talked to the women that I was dating was how shitty guys are. Interesting. And I think that it's just a current climate where...

I think by default, it's like the norm is where like the man has like, you know, think about like the way even proposing works. A woman has to just wait until the man decides they're worthy enough to then it's like all kind of so baked in just having those with my girlfriend or having the conversations with the women in the writer's room and like not ever realizing that that like I never think to myself, I'm not like a shitty guy with girls. Like I really don't feel that way. But with,

I don't think I realized that just even by default, by just allowing the status quo to be what it is, I am being kind of shitty in a way. And I think that's something where I was like, huh? It wasn't more like, oh man, I feel so bad about myself. It's more, I'm so happy that I'm in a position where I get to have these conversations and learn and then make art that can portray that. And then so some other guy who's watching it could be like, do I behave that way? And like make them ask them those questions. Thoughts? Dave.

I'm really impressed. You said it and you didn't need to say it because as I've been sitting here with you and I guess it's because we both have therapist mothers, but you are very self-aware and I think it's really refreshing to hear that.

A white hetero man with money and yes, power just be like, oh yeah. Like I think it's so obvious to me that this is the dynamic. And I think on top of it, having fame, it, it makes it even harder. I think for women to look objectively at a situation, if they're on a date with you and feel like,

I have an equal say in this. Like, they're just happy to be there sometimes because the power dynamic is so off that I think it's interesting to hear you talk about coming to the realization. And then when... So you met... When did you meet your girlfriend? 2020. So you were already famous. Yeah. How did that go? How did you meet? One of the writers on my show, Vanessa, woman I love...

I kept saying, you know, you got to set me up. Like, you know, I was like, I'm a hopeless romantic for sure. Like I, like I wasn't like going on all these dates to like, fuck, I was going to like meet my wife. Like, and like, I worked so hard that simply having a date set up in the week was like my like beacon of hope that like I would work towards. I can't wait till Thursday when I meet my,

Lauren, we're just making a name up. Maybe Lauren's my wife. And then like, I'd meet Lauren, I'd be like, I don't know. And, and then I would be like, on to the next one, which is like, kind of like an unfair way to approach it. I knew that I would always have, in theory, kind of, I know that my personality, I really am nice. And for the most part, I'm gonna like be able to get the second date. Yeah. And I think I went into every date being like,

Is this my wife? Am I blown away? Am I fully blown away to the point where like, I can't even think about it? Like, no. Okay. Then it's not right for me. Okay. Wait, before we move forward from that, that's so interesting. So you went on all these dates and did you, um,

How like vulnerable do you get on these dates? Because I thought it was interesting that you said all these women, the common theme was them talking about like how shitty guys are. But I feel like it's because you're such a good guy that they immediately like, why aren't guys like this treating women like this? Like, were you being overly sweet to these people? Well, I think I'm being kind of, I think I just kind of by default am sweet. I definitely like if I'm on a date, I'm trying to be charming. Like I will be like, you know, super sweet.

Did you have any things you would do on dates that was like your go-to? Oh yeah. First off, my go-to pickup line every time was, excuse me, what's your availability as far as being hit on right now? Like, are you open-minded to that type of thing or not even remotely? It's good. Yeah. And it's just, it's like, what else am I, I'm not going to be like, Hey, how's your night going? I don't even know you. Right. Has anyone ever been like, fuck off? They've been like, Oh, uh, not, I'm not open. I have a boyfriend, but like,

That was nice. That was good. Yeah. Great feedback with that line. That's fucking great. Thank you. Why? It's all such bullshit. Just be like, hey, like, are you down to get hit on by me in this moment or not? Like, you know, let's be transparent. Yeah. I met my girlfriend at the right time for sure because it was COVID and like it allowed me to like slow down and like

give love a shot. And like, I, my current girlfriend is my soulmate. Like I'm just obsessed with her. When she met me, she was fresh off of like a long breakup. And so she wasn't like trying to get into a relationship either. So I think for her, it was like, Oh, cool. Like, like rapper, like, you know, funny guy. Like, this is an exciting thing for me to, I never thought this was going to be the next guy I dated. And I think I just, she was like, like it was,

Good for her to have some something to like really look forward to like her whole life just changed due to her last breakup. You know what I mean? Yeah. And then I think we just like fell in love with each other. And we're going to talk a little bit more about that. Yeah. I do have one more question about your penis. Yeah. Two questions because I want to go more into the relationship side of things and sex. What is your relationship with your penis now?

At this very moment. I love it. I love it the way you love like a flawed Pixar character. It's like this charming like Pixar character that's like a little bit misshapen. I, for example, you know, talk about my dick all the time. And like,

The guys who made the score for the first two seasons of the show are like, I love these men. They're like one of my best friends in L.A. and I love hanging out with them, but they had never seen my dick. And they were obviously, they were like, just show us your dick. And I showed it to them and they were just like, man, you couldn't. I was worried that it was going to be overhyped, but I've never thought something was like,

and bigger at the same it's like so small yet it's so big it's so like like fucked up but like so beautiful they were like it's this perfect like contradicting thing that like like they really were blown away and like

You know, every now and then when we're like struggling to like come up with score, like I can tell they need motivation. I'll like show them my dick and they'll be like, all right, I'm ready to I'm ready to lock in. Picturing you standing there in that room, just pulling your pants out and then like, OK, there are scenes that we've like scored for the show. We're like literally like two men are like playing the keyboard and I'm just like butt naked sitting there.

Because it just gives them such motivation. It's just, yeah, it's just funny. It's a funny thing. Like, there's certain, like, I don't know if you've seen season two, like, where, like, me and Benny, like, do that. Like, there's, have you seen that episode? I haven't seen that episode. Okay, yeah, good. You'd have a lot of questions, I think. But there's, like, a certain, like, Jewish, like, there are times where, like, I've jerked off and, like, other guys were in the room as a kid and, like, we're all just jerking off at the same time in the same room. Is that a Jewish thing? I don't know if it's a Jewish thing, but it might be, like, a suburban thing.

Pennsylvania fucked up kid thing. Yeah. I'm going to ask my friends if they ever jerked off in the same room in a Pennsylvania basement. I'd love to know the stats. Yeah, I'll let you know. If you could tell your 10-year-old penis something, what would you say to him? Girls don't know what it's supposed to look like. It's all going to be okay. It functions. It works. It's like it will develop like really like it's like a nice weight. There was one time I remember where like

I expressed insecurity about like the length of my dick. And like a woman said, like, it's so there's such girth and that there's you can't. There's nothing better than a well-weighted dick, she said. And that stuck with me. So I would say, hey, man, you got a weird dick, but it's going to work. It's going to work out well. And you're going to be able to create the female orgasm. And that's that's all that matters. I will say a smaller penis is.

is better for, yeah. I personally think a smaller penis is better for allowing a girl to have an orgasm. Cool. Cause you can just hit a little bit more near that area where a large penis and like you're more near my belly button. That's not where like the G spot area is. Let's like back it out. So I put half of it in there. But for you, you can enjoy yourself going all in. I get all in and then I'm in and that now I'm wiggling.

You know, I'm in and I'm slow grinding. Right. You know, it's not, it's not, I'm not doing that. No. We're in. We're marinating. Oh my God. Your girlfriend's like, why were you doing it on that show? Speaking of your girlfriend, do you guys live together? Yeah. We just got a puppy. What kind? A cockapoo. Reggie.

Reggie. Oh, he's the cutest. You should have called him young man. Maybe I will. There's still time. Okay. I could be his nickname. What is something that you learned about the opposite sex by living with your girlfriend? I feel like there's no friction whatsoever as far as us living together. We're very similar. I've actually never met anybody from a personality perspective more similar to me than my girlfriend. So it's like, yeah, it's bizarre. And I didn't know who I was going to end up with like as far as

I kind of always thought like whoever I'm going to end up with is going to be the opposite of me to like that. But it's actually it's actually great to be like so on the same page about everything in life. I agree. So it's do you want to get married? Yeah. Have you talked about it? Yeah. Talk about all the time. That's going to go down. Yeah. Have you thought about how you're going to propose?

A little bit, but not... I'm so... Basically, it'd be like the way I am with my show right now. Like, I can't even believe I'm here. Like, I can't believe how hard it is to finish this show. Yeah. Like, the post-schedule. Like, this show...

It's getting worked on in real time all the way. So it's like I'm like if I like hit my head on the way out of here and went to the hospital for two weeks, I think we'd like miss air dates. You know what I mean? Like we're God. So it's like every day is like game seven right now. So for me, I don't I don't want to like even think about like that type of thing until like I'm actually like I want to be able to focus on her. It's like it's kind of a shit like it's it's hard to date me in the sense that I'm always distracted with the task at hand. Are you neglecting your girlfriend? I don't think so. I mean, maybe.

In a sense, in a sense, but not in a way that's surprising or. Right. And it's like because I think working from home is so nice because like now that she's not going to know, it's like it's we're both always there. We're in her. We're overlapping. I think what's most important is that I when I'm with her and I'm not, it's like don't neglect there. Like, you know, be present in that moment. Yeah.

And I'm sure I think to be with someone obviously like you, like I'm sure she, you guys have a good balance of like, she knows what you're, you're doing and you're grinding it out right now. And you're at such a great point in your career that like there's moments in relationships where you have to be there for your partner while they're going through it. And then all of a sudden the show could be done one day. And then it's like, you got to be there for her with whatever she's going through. She couldn't be more supportive. And like, it's so, it's so nice to have that.

that and i couldn't appreciate her more or love her more what is your taste in porn uh super hd like you know if there's anything non-hd i'm not interested i like like i can just i mean i don't know if like i like things that feel like real like have you ever heard of like x art x-art no go google or you pornhub search x-art

And you'll see it's like very like slice of life, handheld, well lit, well shot. It feels so real. It's so it's not like it's like on a tripod. It's not a tripod. I don't like when the dick is too big. Scary. Yeah. I can't relate. You know, I love watching head more than actually getting head. That's so interesting. Yeah.

Well, because maybe you like jerking yourself off more than you like getting head. So you can jerk off while you're watching someone get head. But you're like, but I don't have to get head. I can just jerk myself off. What is the best skill you have to offer in the bedroom? I'd say I truly my my touch, like my sense of touch, like when I'm like when the hand is like drifting up the thigh, you know, like that's my that. You've got the hand. I got the hand. I got the touch like a great tickle.

A tickle? Yeah. So are you good at like fingering? Yeah. Have you been given that note? I think so. Yeah. Okay. I feel like better about like the way I get my hands on someone than I do like necessarily like going down on them. Okay. Not that I think I'm like, I just don't, I think like I look at myself as like an artist with the touch.

Going down, I don't know. I'm kind of like, it's like a free-for-all and I'm not even sure what's going on. I love the self-awareness because some men need to recognize that. Like, if you don't know you're great at it, to every man listening, don't eat a girl out if you really don't think, like, you know what you're doing. Because it's actually so sad for us because we're like...

How do I tell him just to come up and fuck me? Like, let's just stop. Just stop. Fingering is 10 times better because sometimes the guy doesn't know how to use the tongue. So it's like, let's just cut to the chase. You're not even rubbing my clit. Like you're on like a random patch of skin. That's not even my labia. Like we're not in the region for you to stay down there for more than like 30 seconds. Just get up here. Yeah. So you're good with the touch. Yeah. Okay. Touch guy. Have you ever made a sex tape? No.

If you ever did, what would the tone of the sex tape be and how would you produce it? I do think that I could have been like a porn star because of that like Pixar like quality that like I think would be like heroic for like the people to like see such a flawed dick in porn. But I don't know. Like I don't know. This is like this is tough. Like I do like I don't send dick pics like you've never sent a dick pic in your life. Never.

I think that's smart. No one needs a dick pic anyways. No, my dick is too... No. I don't care how good a dick is or bad. It doesn't matter. No one needs a dick pic really. I think like Pam and Tommy style, like vintage camera, like feeling like fly on the wall. There's like a special moment between the two people. If I had to make one. What is something unusual that turns you on? One of my favorite phases of sexuality is the moment where...

The my dick is being touched over my underwear. I'll be hooking up and I'm not just I'm not speaking about my sexual issue with my girlfriend. So I'm just saying my past experiences like a girl will be trying to take the underwear off and I'll keep it on. I'll wait because it's my favorite phase is like the over underwear touching of the boner. It's like my favorite part of the whole thing. But do girls ever be like, oh, does he not want me to go down?

I probably just because yes because I they're like so clearly love the hand they're like and they're like little dicky oh like maybe yeah maybe that's almost it's like a little lingering from your past of like you used to actually be like no don't go down there and you hiked

them up it could be it could be like think about my underwear on like that's the thing you know and now it gets you off that you actually will eventually you know you'll let them take it off but like let's linger in the yeah like don't take them off in the foreplay yeah i'm a big i like foreplay what do you want people to know about you as we wrap up this episode like what is something you feel like is a little like misconception like you wish people got more about you

I don't know. I think I'm an open book, but I feel as though if I had to answer that question, I would say for the people out there who might see a Lil Dicky rap video and think, you know, that's like a satirical based joke about like that requires like a tongue in cheek, assholey adjacent perspective to know that there's probably thought behind it. And I really value the joke. I love making jokes and I honor the joke. And as a human being, I feel like I am a good man.

A young man. Yeah. Young man. Little Dickie. Thank you so much for coming on. This was so fun. I really had no idea what to expect. And I had a great time talking to you today. Great. Did you have a good time? Yeah. Nothing too offensive. No, I thought time flew.